1
00:00:03,011 --> 00:00:05,011
TIME, WEATHER, AND...

2
00:00:05,076 --> 00:00:12,644
[ GASPS ]
OH.

3
00:00:12,710 --> 00:00:17,644
[ SIREN CHIRPS ]
WHEW!

4
00:00:17,710 --> 00:00:22,011
UGH.

5
00:00:22,076 --> 00:00:23,176
HMM.

6
00:00:23,243 --> 00:00:24,577
AAH!

7
00:00:24,644 --> 00:00:34,644
[ SCREAMING ]
[ PANTING ]

8
00:00:34,710 --> 00:00:41,543
[ SCREAMING ]
[ PANTING ]

9
00:00:41,610 --> 00:00:47,710
[ GROWLING ]
[ SCREAMING ]

10
00:00:47,777 --> 00:00:54,210
♪ OH, LIFE ON THE OUTSIDE
AIN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE ♪

11
00:00:54,277 --> 00:00:57,710
♪ YOU KNOW, THE WORLD'S GONE
CRAZY, AND IT AIN'T SAFE ON THE

12
00:00:57,777 --> 00:01:02,610
STREET ♪
♪ OH, WE'RE LOSING TRACK, AND I

13
00:01:02,677 --> 00:01:06,777
KNOW THERE'S ONLY ONE PLACE TO
GO ♪

14
00:01:06,844 --> 00:01:09,977
♪ I'M COMING HOME ♪
♪ WHOA, YEAH ♪

15
00:01:10,043 --> 00:01:13,343
♪ I'M COMING HOME ♪
[ GASPS ]

16
00:01:25,477 --> 00:01:27,911
[ GASPS ]
[ GASPS ]

17
00:01:27,977 --> 00:01:37,977
[ GROWLS ]
AAH!

18
00:01:38,043 --> 00:01:42,043
[ WHIMPERING ]
[ HUMMING ]

19
00:01:42,110 --> 00:01:50,610
[ GASPS ]
Warden: UNBELIEVABLE.

20
00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:51,644
Jared: HORRIBLE.

21
00:01:51,710 --> 00:01:53,710
Alice: WHAT A MAN -- I MEAN,
MONSTER.

22
00:01:53,777 --> 00:01:56,644
Warden: HIS FIRST DAY IN
SUPERJAIL, AND HE'S GOT THEM ALL

23
00:01:56,710 --> 00:01:57,243
TERRIFIED!

24
00:01:57,310 --> 00:01:58,543
Alice: WHAT'S HE IN FOR?

25
00:01:58,610 --> 00:01:59,844
Jared: WHERE DO I START?!

26
00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:01,877
THE THINGS HE'S DONE ARE BEYOND
OBSCENE!

27
00:02:01,944 --> 00:02:03,377
Alice: I'LL SHOW HIM OBSCENE.

28
00:02:03,443 --> 00:02:06,510
Jared: HE LIVES ALONE IN AN
OLD FARMHOUSE THAT WAS NEXT TO A

29
00:02:06,577 --> 00:02:07,677
GRAVEYARD.

30
00:02:07,744 --> 00:02:10,377
HE SPENT HIS TIME DIGGING UP
CADAVERS AND MAKING GROTESQUE

31
00:02:10,443 --> 00:02:13,543
HOMEWARE LIKE LAMPS AND
FURNITURE OUT OF HUMAN BODY

32
00:02:13,610 --> 00:02:14,310
PARTS.

33
00:02:14,377 --> 00:02:16,510
Alice: OOH, THE CREATIVE
TYPE.

34
00:02:16,577 --> 00:02:19,677
Warden: WHY DO THEY SHOW HIM
SO MUCH FEAR AND RESPECT AND NOT

35
00:02:19,744 --> 00:02:20,877
ME?

36
00:02:20,944 --> 00:02:23,176
I NEED TO UNDERSTAND WHAT MAKES
THIS LUNATIC [GRUNTS] TICK!

37
00:02:23,243 --> 00:02:26,477
Jared: THEY SAY YOU DON'T
TRULY UNDERSTAND SOMEONE UNTIL

38
00:02:26,543 --> 00:02:28,210
YOU WALK A MILE IN THEIR SHOES.

39
00:02:28,277 --> 00:02:31,510
HE MADE HIS OUT OF THE SKIN OF A
SCHOOLTEACHER FROM TACOMA.

40
00:02:31,577 --> 00:02:34,911
Warden: JARED, I COULD MAKE
SWEET, SWEET LOVE TO YOUR BIG,

41
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BALD HEAD.

42
00:02:35,710 --> 00:02:37,076
THAT'S A FANTASTIC IDEA!

43
00:02:37,143 --> 00:02:40,243
WE'LL SEND A STAFF MEMBER
UNDERCOVER TO PROBE HIS MIND.

44
00:02:40,310 --> 00:02:43,310
Alice: JUST GIVE ME FIVE
MINUTES WITH THAT PSYCHO.

45
00:02:43,377 --> 00:02:45,810
HE'LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING YOU
WANT TO KNOW.

46
00:02:45,877 --> 00:02:48,677
Warden: [ CHUCKLES ]
NO, THIS IS NO JOB FOR A LADY,

47
00:02:48,744 --> 00:02:49,343
ALICE.

48
00:02:49,410 --> 00:02:50,744
JARED, MEET YOUR NEW ROOMMATE.

49
00:02:50,810 --> 00:02:51,777
Alice: NO FAIR.

50
00:02:51,844 --> 00:02:52,577
I WANT TO GO.

51
00:02:52,644 --> 00:02:54,110
Jared: YEAH, LET ALICE GO!

52
00:02:54,176 --> 00:02:56,176
Warden: STOP BEING SELFISH,
JARED.

53
00:02:56,243 --> 00:02:59,076
ALICE IS TRYING TO HELP YOU
DEVELOP SOME SELF-ESTEEM AND

54
00:02:59,143 --> 00:03:00,243
LEADERSHIP QUALITIES.

55
00:03:00,310 --> 00:03:03,844
Alice: THIS IS BULL [BLEEP]
Warden: NUH-UNH-UNH.

56
00:03:03,911 --> 00:03:06,210
Jared: AAAAH!

57
00:03:06,277 --> 00:03:07,543
Warden: SHE'LL GET OVER IT.

58
00:03:07,610 --> 00:03:09,944
Jared: SIR, YOU CAN'T LOCK ME
UP WITH THAT ANIMAL!

59
00:03:10,011 --> 00:03:17,810
[ MUFFLED TALKING ]
Warden: ARE YOU SURE HE'S

60
00:03:17,877 --> 00:03:19,477
GONNA LOOK LIKE A PSYCHOPATH?

61
00:03:19,543 --> 00:03:20,877
AH, SEE FOR YOURSELF.

62
00:03:20,944 --> 00:03:23,977
Warden: [ GASPS ]
HIDEOUS.

63
00:03:24,043 --> 00:03:25,277
LET'S GO, JARED.

64
00:03:25,343 --> 00:03:29,577
REMEMBER, YOU ONLY HAVE 48
HOURS UNTIL HE TURNS BACK INTO

65
00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:30,543
UGLY JARED!

66
00:03:30,610 --> 00:03:32,443
Warden: HE'S ALL YOURS.

67
00:03:32,510 --> 00:03:34,110
NOW, LET'S GO, PEOPLE.

68
00:03:34,176 --> 00:03:35,510
AND MAKE IT LOOK REAL, OKAY?

69
00:03:35,577 --> 00:03:40,810
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]
Jared: WHO ARE THEY YELLING

70
00:03:40,877 --> 00:03:41,277
AT?

71
00:03:41,343 --> 00:03:43,443
Alice: YOU, FISH!

72
00:03:43,510 --> 00:03:44,510
Jared: OW! WHY...

73
00:03:44,577 --> 00:03:45,644
Alice: COME ON, JAILBOT.

74
00:03:45,710 --> 00:03:47,210
THE WARDEN SAID MAKE IT LOOK
REAL.

75
00:03:47,277 --> 00:03:49,043
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ]
Jared: AAAH!

76
00:03:49,110 --> 00:03:51,110
Alice: YOU RUINED MY CHANCE
WITH THE NEW GUY.

77
00:03:51,176 --> 00:03:55,877
I HOPE HE MAKES YOUR HEAD INTO A
THROW PILLOW.

78
00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:57,143
LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE.

79
00:03:57,210 --> 00:03:59,243
AT LEAST YOU'RE GONNA GET LAID
TONIGHT.

80
00:03:59,310 --> 00:04:05,443
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]
LATER, DEAD MAN.

81
00:04:05,510 --> 00:04:08,310
Warden: MAMA BIRD TO BABY
BIRD, ARE YOU READY TO LEAVE THE

82
00:04:08,377 --> 00:04:08,710
NEST?
OVER.

83
00:04:09,577 --> 00:04:11,110
Jared: SIR, PLEASE, I'M
BEGGING YOU!

84
00:04:11,176 --> 00:04:12,977
Warden: YOU'RE DOING GREAT,
BUDDY.

85
00:04:13,043 --> 00:04:15,844
LOOK, THE SECOND ANYTHING GOES
WRONG, JUST SAY THE SAFE WORD.

86
00:04:15,911 --> 00:04:18,143
JAILBOT WILL PULL YOU RIGHT OUT
OF THERE, OKAY?

87
00:04:18,210 --> 00:04:18,810
OVER.

88
00:04:18,877 --> 00:04:20,477
Jared: WHAT'S THE SAFE WORD?

89
00:04:20,543 --> 00:04:22,277
Warden: "BABY MAKE WEE-WEE."

90
00:04:22,343 --> 00:04:23,243
OVER.

91
00:04:23,310 --> 00:04:25,644
Jared: "BABY MAKE WEE-WEE"
ISN'T A WORD, SIR.

92
00:04:25,710 --> 00:04:28,011
Warden: FINE, A SAFE PHRASE,
OKAY?

93
00:04:28,076 --> 00:04:30,011
NOW, GET INTO CHARACTER!

94
00:04:30,076 --> 00:04:31,543
Jared: BABY MAKE WEE-WEE!

95
00:04:31,610 --> 00:04:32,644
BABY MAKE WEE-WEE!

96
00:04:32,710 --> 00:04:33,710
BABY MAKE WEE-WEE!

97
00:04:33,777 --> 00:04:35,277
BABY MAKE WEE-WEE!

98
00:04:35,343 --> 00:04:41,443
[ VIDEO-GAME MUSIC PLAYS ]
I ACHIEVED THE KILL SCREEN

99
00:04:41,510 --> 00:04:42,377
AGAIN.

100
00:04:42,443 --> 00:04:44,510
BORING AGAIN.

101
00:04:50,577 --> 00:04:56,710
[ MEN SCREAMING ]
TIME FOR A NEW GAME.

102
00:04:56,777 --> 00:05:03,477
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ]
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

103
00:05:03,543 --> 00:05:05,577
Warden: AH, ALICE, JUST IN
TIME.

104
00:05:05,644 --> 00:05:08,110
I'M ABOUT TO TURN ON JARED'S
MOUSTACHE CAM.

105
00:05:08,176 --> 00:05:08,977
OH, IT'S YOU.

106
00:05:09,043 --> 00:05:10,777
WHERE'S ALICE?

107
00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:12,477
PBHT. WOMEN.

108
00:05:12,543 --> 00:05:22,543
[ FREQUENCY MODULATING ]
Jared: OH! AH!

109
00:05:22,610 --> 00:05:24,277
PHEW.

110
00:05:24,343 --> 00:05:33,543
[ GROWLING ]
Jared: AAAH!

111
00:05:33,610 --> 00:05:34,343
HE'S DEAD!

112
00:05:34,410 --> 00:05:35,944
Warden: JARED, WHAT THE HELL,
MAN?

113
00:05:36,011 --> 00:05:37,744
Jared: I DON'T KNOW WHAT
HAPPENED!

114
00:05:37,810 --> 00:05:38,977
Warden: YOU KILLED HIM.

115
00:05:39,043 --> 00:05:40,110
THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED.

116
00:05:40,176 --> 00:05:42,677
Jared: I'M SORRY, SIR, BUT,
PLEASE, GET ME OUT OF HERE!

117
00:05:42,744 --> 00:05:43,877
Warden: NOT SO FAST.

118
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:46,677
I THINK YOU SHOULD STAY IN THAT
CELL FOR A WHILE TILL YOU'VE

119
00:05:46,744 --> 00:05:49,644
LEARNED YOUR LESSON OR UNTIL I
NEED SOMEONE TO COMPLETELY SCREW

120
00:05:49,710 --> 00:05:50,610
SOMETHING ELSE UP!

121
00:05:50,677 --> 00:05:51,877
Jared: NO, SIR, PLEASE!

122
00:05:51,944 --> 00:05:54,543
SOMEONE'S COMING!

123
00:05:54,610 --> 00:05:57,577
HOLY [BLEEP]
THE NEW GUY KILLED HIM!

124
00:05:57,644 --> 00:05:59,076
IN HIS OWN CELL.

125
00:05:59,143 --> 00:06:00,477
MAN, THAT'S COLD.

126
00:06:00,543 --> 00:06:01,777
Jared: NO, NO.

127
00:06:01,844 --> 00:06:02,577
I DIDN'T.
HE SLIPPED!

128
00:06:03,543 --> 00:06:04,877
HEY, HEY, FRIEND.

129
00:06:04,944 --> 00:06:06,110
WHATEVER YOU SAY.

130
00:06:06,176 --> 00:06:09,877
BADDEST DUDE IN HERE, AND YOU
PUT HIM DOWN LIKE IT WAS

131
00:06:09,944 --> 00:06:12,543
NOTHING.

132
00:06:12,610 --> 00:06:15,577
Jared: THAT'S RIGHT, YOU
MOTHER [BLEEP]

133
00:06:15,644 --> 00:06:18,844
I KILLED HIM, AND I DON'T THINK
NOTHING OF IT!

134
00:06:18,911 --> 00:06:23,011
ANY OF YOU MAGGOTS SO MUCH AS
LOOK AT ME WRONG, AND I'LL KILL

135
00:06:23,076 --> 00:06:23,810
YOU, TOO!

136
00:06:23,877 --> 00:06:27,076
THERE'S A NEW BOSS IN TOWN --
ME!

137
00:06:27,143 --> 00:06:30,377
[ TECHNO MUSIC PLAYS ]
LET'S GET THIS LAND PARTY

138
00:06:30,443 --> 00:06:31,410
STARTED RIGHT.

139
00:06:31,477 --> 00:06:33,243
ARE Y'ALL READY FOR THIS?

140
00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:37,043
THREE, TWO, ONE.

141
00:06:37,110 --> 00:06:39,777
Warden: AH, YOU'RE THE ONLY
ONE I CAN COUNT ON THESE DAYS.

142
00:06:39,844 --> 00:06:41,277
I SHOULD HAVE SENT YOU IN THERE.

143
00:06:41,343 --> 00:06:42,176
JAILBOT!

144
00:06:42,243 --> 00:06:44,410
HAVE YOU FLIPPED YOUR CHIP?

145
00:06:44,477 --> 00:06:46,911
AAH! AAAAH!

146
00:06:55,143 --> 00:06:57,644
UGH. IT'S FREEZING IN HERE.

147
00:06:57,710 --> 00:06:59,477
I'LL WARM YOU UP.

148
00:06:59,543 --> 00:07:01,377
Alice: WELL, WELL.

149
00:07:01,443 --> 00:07:02,977
HELLO, HANDSOME.

150
00:07:03,043 --> 00:07:04,310
OH, I GET IT.

151
00:07:04,377 --> 00:07:06,277
YOU'RE THE QUIET TYPE.

152
00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:07,510
THAT'S OKAY.

153
00:07:07,577 --> 00:07:09,410
WORDS ARE FOR LOSERS.

154
00:07:09,477 --> 00:07:13,911
WHY DON'T WE SKIP THIS AND GO
STRAIGHT TO DESSERT?

155
00:07:13,977 --> 00:07:17,377
I HEARD HE HAD THAT DUDE
NAILED TO THE WALL.

156
00:07:17,443 --> 00:07:19,510
AND THEN HE HAD HIM SKINNED.

157
00:07:19,577 --> 00:07:22,810
AND THEN HE STRETCHED HIM OUT
LIKE A HAMMOCK.

158
00:07:22,877 --> 00:07:25,043
AND THEN HE TOOK A POWER NAP...

159
00:07:25,110 --> 00:07:26,377
ON HIM, I GUESS.

160
00:07:26,443 --> 00:07:27,543
SHH! QUIET!

161
00:07:27,610 --> 00:07:29,610
HERE HE COMES.

162
00:07:35,277 --> 00:07:37,610
Jared: I COULD GET USED TO
THIS.

163
00:07:37,677 --> 00:07:38,610
BOSS! BOSS!

164
00:07:38,677 --> 00:07:40,210
YOU GOT TO DO SOMETHING!

165
00:07:40,277 --> 00:07:42,076
THE ROBOT IS WASTING EVERYONE!

166
00:07:42,143 --> 00:07:43,610
Jared: WHO, JAILBOT?

167
00:07:43,677 --> 00:07:46,443
YEAH, HE'S GONE PSYCHO!

168
00:07:46,510 --> 00:07:47,443
AAH!

169
00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:51,210
AAH!

170
00:07:51,277 --> 00:07:53,310
Jared: I'LL HANDLE THIS.

171
00:07:53,377 --> 00:07:57,710
ALL RIGHT, TOMATO CAN, WHO TOLD
YOU YOU COULD MESS WITH MY

172
00:07:57,777 --> 00:07:58,510
PEOPLE?

173
00:07:58,577 --> 00:08:00,744
[ CHEERS ]
OKAY, BUDDY.

174
00:08:00,810 --> 00:08:02,410
MAKE IT LOOK GOOD.

175
00:08:02,477 --> 00:08:04,176
DON'T BLOW MY COVER.

176
00:08:04,243 --> 00:08:06,477
[ KNUCKLES CRACKING ]
[ CLANG ]

177
00:08:06,543 --> 00:08:08,577
[ WHIMPERS ]
COME ON, DUMMY!

178
00:08:08,644 --> 00:08:11,677
AAH!

179
00:08:11,744 --> 00:08:13,810
BABY MAKE WEE-WEE.

180
00:08:13,877 --> 00:08:14,810
OH!

181
00:08:14,877 --> 00:08:21,543
[ SHOUTING AND SCREAMING ]
[ WHIMPERS ]

182
00:08:21,610 --> 00:08:23,810
YO, YO, THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE,
BOSS.

183
00:08:23,877 --> 00:08:24,644
DON'T WORRY.

184
00:08:24,710 --> 00:08:26,777
WE GOT A PLAN TO BEAT THAT
TOASTER.

185
00:08:26,844 --> 00:08:33,977
COME ON!

186
00:08:34,043 --> 00:08:35,377
AAH!

187
00:08:35,443 --> 00:08:41,210
[ SCREAMING ]
FRAG THE NOOBS.

188
00:08:41,277 --> 00:08:43,210
R-O-T-F-L.

189
00:08:43,277 --> 00:08:44,977
SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK, BOSS?

190
00:08:45,043 --> 00:08:46,343
Jared: I DON'T KNOW.

191
00:08:46,410 --> 00:08:47,810
MAYBE WHEN IT'S FINISHED.

192
00:08:47,877 --> 00:08:49,377
WHAT DO YOU MEAN "WHEN"?

193
00:08:49,443 --> 00:08:50,477
IT'S FINISHED.

194
00:08:50,543 --> 00:08:53,677
YEAH, WE'RE GONNA POUND HIS
METAL ASS INTO THE GROUND!

195
00:08:53,744 --> 00:08:55,911
Jared: UH, YEAH, KILLER
DUDES!

196
00:08:55,977 --> 00:08:59,377
WHO'S THE LUCKY GUY THAT'S GONNA
GET TO DRIVE THIS THING?

197
00:08:59,443 --> 00:09:01,510
[ LAUGHS ]
YOU FUNNY, BOSS.

198
00:09:01,577 --> 00:09:05,644
ONLY THE MOST DEADLIEST, BADASS,
PSYCHO MOTHER [BLEEP] IN THIS

199
00:09:05,710 --> 00:09:07,243
ROOM -- YOU.

200
00:09:07,310 --> 00:09:10,310
[ CHEERS ]
Jared: OH, RIGHT.

201
00:09:10,377 --> 00:09:11,944
Warden: JAILBOT!

202
00:09:12,011 --> 00:09:13,477
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

203
00:09:13,543 --> 00:09:19,243
[BLEEP]
DAMN IT!

204
00:09:19,310 --> 00:09:21,677
[ CHEERS ]
KICK HIS ASS, BOSS!

205
00:09:21,744 --> 00:09:22,543
Jared: WAIT!

206
00:09:22,610 --> 00:09:26,076
M-M-MAYBE ONE OF YOU GUYS
SHOULD --

207
00:09:26,143 --> 00:09:29,011
JAILBOT, IT'S ME -- JARED.

208
00:09:29,076 --> 00:09:31,844
AAH! OOH! AAH!

209
00:09:31,911 --> 00:09:34,277
Warden: ALICE, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?

210
00:09:34,343 --> 00:09:39,844
JAILBOT'S W-- ALICE?

211
00:09:39,911 --> 00:09:48,210
[ PENGUIN SCREECHING ]
[ GROWLING AND ROARING ]

212
00:09:48,277 --> 00:09:53,610
[ GROWLING ]
[ ROARING ]

213
00:09:53,677 --> 00:09:56,677
[ MEN SCREAMING ]
[ CREATURES GROWLING ]

214
00:09:56,744 --> 00:10:03,810
[ SCREAMING ]
[ GROWLING ]

215
00:10:03,877 --> 00:10:07,277
[ DOGS BARKING ]
[ GROWLING ]

216
00:10:07,343 --> 00:10:14,176
[ WIND HOWLS ]
Warden: AAH!

217
00:10:14,243 --> 00:10:22,011
[ SCREAMING ]
[ MACHINE-GUN FIRE ]

218
00:10:22,076 --> 00:10:24,744
AAH!

219
00:10:24,810 --> 00:10:28,543
[ WHIMPERS ]
[ TECHNO MUSIC PLAYS ]

220
00:10:28,610 --> 00:10:33,644
[ GROANS ]
AAH! AAH!

221
00:10:33,710 --> 00:10:46,176
[ GEARS CLANKING ]
[ SCREAMING ]

222
00:10:46,243 --> 00:10:47,810
IT FROZE.

223
00:10:47,877 --> 00:10:50,577
GAME OVER.

224
00:10:50,644 --> 00:10:54,510
LOOK, A SNOW DAY.

225
00:10:54,577 --> 00:10:57,410
LET US MAKE SNOW PERSONS.