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[ GRUMBLES ]
[ SIRENS WAILING ]
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[ GLASS SHATTERS ]
[ GUNS COCK ]
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♪ LIFE ON THE OUTSIDE
AIN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE ♪
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♪ THE WORLD'S GONE CRAZY, AND IT
AIN'T SAFE ON THE STREET ♪
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♪ IT'S A DRAG, AND I KNOW,
THERE'S ONLY ONE PLACE TO GO ♪
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♪ I'M COMING HOME ♪
♪ I'M COMING HOME ♪
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LONG AGO, THERE WAS A GOD
NAMED WAR-DEN.
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HE MADE THE WORLD, AND HE CALLED
IT SU'JAL.
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IT WAS SO BIG, HE MADE THREE
ANGELS TO HELP HIM RULE.
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AND TOGETHER, THEY LIVED THERE
AS ONE GREAT TRIBE.
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THEN, THE DARKNESS CAME.
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THE WAR-DEN LEFT SU'JAL, AND HIS
ANGELS LEFT TO FIND HIM.
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AND SO BEGAN THE GREAT WAR.
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THE PROPHECIES SAY THAT SOMEDAY
THE WAR-DEN AND HIS ANGELS WILL
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RETURN, REUNITING SU'JAL ONCE
MORE.
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BUT UNTIL THEN, WE MUST FIGHT TO
CRUSH THE OTHER TRIBES SO OUR
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PURE ARYAN BLOOD CAN RULE
SU'JAL!
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[ CHEERING ]
Warden: [ SIGHS ]
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[ CREATURE ROARING ]
AAH!
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HEY!
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LEAVE THE WARDEN ALONE!
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[ CREATURE WHIMPERING ]
IT'S OKAY.
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YOU WERE JUST HAVING ANOTHER ONE
OF YOUR NIGHTMARES.
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Warden: WHO ARE YOU?
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WHY ARE YOU WATCHING ME SLEEP?
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WHO, ME?
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I AM THE BULLET THAT
ASSASSINATED
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PRESIDENT HIGHTOWER.
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ONLY I NEVER ACTUALLY DID IT
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, TIME POLICE.
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Warden: HOW CAN THEY JUST
DRAG ME AWAY LIKE THAT?
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I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING YET.
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WELL, NEITHER DID ANYONE ELSE
IN HERE.
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WELCOME TO TIME JAIL, WARDEN!
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[ LAUGHS ]
Warden: WHAT? WHERE AM I NOW?
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WAIT.
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THIS -- THIS IS...
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[ GASPS ]
NO, NO, NO, GERALD!
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I TELL YOU THE PRISON WALLS ARE
TO BE GRAY, AND YOU GIVE ME
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"MORNING MIST," "SIBERIAN
HEADSTONE," "PEWTER"?!
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Warden: FATHER!
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WHAT THE DEVIL IS IT, BOY?!
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CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRYING TO RUN
A JAIL HERE?!
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Warden: I CAN HELP, FATHER.
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LOOK! I BUILT A JAIL OF MY OWN!
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AND I MADE A LITTLE FLYING MAN
TO WATCH OVER IT.
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ZZZWING! ZZZWING! ZZZ--
YOUNG MAN, THIS JAIL IS NO
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PLACE FOR YOUR CHILDISH
TOMFOOLERY OR PIE-IN-THE-SKY
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FLYING RAINBOW WHATSITS!
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Warden: AAH!
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THIS IS A SERIOUS PLACE WHERE
SERIOUS MEN SERVE SERIOUS TIME
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FOR SERIOUS CR-- OHH!
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OHH! AAH!
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AAH! OHH!
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AAH!
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AAH!
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[ CHOKING ]
LOOKS LIKE CONGRATULATIONS
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ARE IN ORDER, MY BOY.
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YOU JUST BECAME THE YOUNGEST
WARDEN IN THE FREE WORLD.
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Warden: WAAAH!
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Jared: CELLPHONES!
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GET YOUR CELLPHONES HERE!
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[ SPITS ]
[ VOMITS ]
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MOTHER [BLEEP]
Jared: AAH! HELP!
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CALL 911!
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[ BEEPS ]
Alice: YOU WOULDN'T BE TRYING
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TO SMUGGLE ANY SUSPICIOUS
PACKAGES, WOULD YOU?
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NO.
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Alice: RELAX, NERVOUS NELLY.
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THIS WILL ONLY TAKE A MOMENT.
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OR WOULD YOU RATHER I TAKE YOU
'ROUND BACK AND STRIP-SEARCH
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Y--
UH, TAKE YOU 'ROUND BACK AND S--
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CUT!
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[ BELL RINGS ]
ALICE. ALICE, BABY, WHAT'S THE
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PROBLEM?
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Alice: I CAN'T DO THIS
ANYMORE.
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BUT YOU'RE THE BEST, BABY.
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NOW, COME ON -- MAN UP.
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LET'S DO THIS, HUH?
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ALL RIGHT,
"SUSPICIOUS PACKAGE 8," TAKE 2!
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Alice: I SAID NO!
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NO MEANS NO!
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NO! [ CRYING ]
AAH!
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[ SHOUTING ]
[ LAUGHING ]
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[ SCREAMING ]
[ SCREECHING ]
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[ BIRD CHIRPING ]
BIRD'S RIGHT.
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THIS IS OUR HOME.
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WE SHOULD RESPECT IT.
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INSTEAD OF LIVING LIKE
ANIMALS, WE CAN LIVE IN HARMONY.
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WE CAN BE THE FOUNDING
FATHERS OF A PEACEFUL NEW
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UTOPIA.
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LET'S BUILD IT...
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All: TOGETHER!
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Jared: SIR! WAIT! SIR!
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UNH!
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Jared: SIR! I CAN'T BELIEVE
IT'S YOU!
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MAN, WHAT THE [BLEEP]
Jared: SORRY!
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I THOUGHT YOU WERE SOMEONE ELSE.
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YEAH, YOU THOUGHT WRONG,
BITCH.
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Jared: AAH!
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[ FOLK MUSIC PLAYS ]
[ BIRD SQUAWKING ]
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IT'S TIME.
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[ BIRD SQUAWKING ]
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
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SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.
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[ VOMITS ]
Warden: UGH!
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WHAT KIND OF TERRIBLE PURGATORY
IS THIS?!
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MUST I RELIVE EVERY HORRIBLE
MOMENT OF MY LIFE?
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IF YOU WANT, I GUESS.
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Warden: AND THEN, WHEN I
LEARN SOME SORT OF LESSON AND
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CHANGE MY EVIL WAYS, THEN WILL
THE TIME POLICE FINALLY SET ME
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FREE?
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MM...NO.
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Warden: WHAT?!
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WELL, THEN WHEN DO I GET OUT OF
HERE?
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NEVER.
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I'VE BEEN HERE FOR AGES.
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THE ONLY PEOPLE I'VE EVER SEEN
COME AND GO ARE --
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♪ THE TIME POLICE ♪
♪ REJECTED BY THE TIME ARMY,
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SO I JOINED THE TIME P.D. ♪
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
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THEY'RE NOT THE WORDS.
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YOU CHANGED IT.
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♪ ONLY THE LAST PART ♪
♪ IT DIDN'T RHYME ♪
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[BLEEP] YOU!
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YOU DON'T CHANGE MY WORDS, MAN!
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♪ WHERE'S MY TIME STICK? ♪
Jared: $9.50, PAL.
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HERE YOU GO, ASSHOLE.
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Jared: YOU [BLEEP] BALL
SUCKER!
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[ CAR DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ]
Alice: [ CRYING ]
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TAKE ME TO SUPERJAIL.
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Jared: ALICE?
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Alice: I WANT TO GO BACK,
SHORTY.
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Jared: BUT, ALICE, I DON'T
KNOW HOW TO GET THERE ANYMORE.
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Alice: ME NEITHER.
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BUT I KNOW SOMEONE WHO DOES.
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STEP ON IT!
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[ LAUGHTER ]
I'M HUNGRY!
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I WANT A HOT DOG!
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[ BEEPS HAPPILY ]
AAH!
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OHH!
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[ BOTH LAUGH ]
Alice: SNACK TIME'S OVER.
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LET'S GET BACK TO SUPERJAIL!
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[ TECHNO MUSIC PLAYS ]
I THINK I HAVE GONE TO HEAVEN
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AND DIED.
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I HEART NEW YORK.
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FELLAS, FELLAS, I LOVE THE
WHOLE TWIN THING.
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YOU TWO DUDES EVER, UH...
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DONE ANY ACTING?
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Both: NEGATORY.
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WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GO BACK TO
MY PLACE IN THE BRONX AND WE GET
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SOME -- YOU KNOW, SOME TEST
SHOTS?
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Both: WE SAY, "AWESOME."
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HOW DO YOU GUYS FEEL ABOUT A
LITTLE, UH...TASTEFUL NUDITY?
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WHAT?
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Jared: THIS ISN'T GONNA BE
PRETTY.
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Alice: I HOPE THEY ALL KILLED
EACH OTHER.
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Jared: H-HELLO?
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CAN YOU LET US IN?
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RAWK! CUCKOO! RAWK!
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Alice: OPEN UP, MAGGOT, OR
THERE'S GONNA BE ASS TO PAY!
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Warden: WHAT ARE YOU TWO
DOING OUTSIDE OF SUPERJAIL?
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Jared: WARDEN! I KNEW YOU
COULDN'T LEAVE US!
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I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE BACK!
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Warden: I LEAVE FOR A COUPLE
OF HOURS AND YOU GUYS LET THE
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WHOLE PLACE GO TO HELL!
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Jared: BUT, SIR, YOU'VE BEEN
GONE FOR YEARS!
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Alice: WE TRIED TO GET IN.
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I THINK THIS STUPID INTERCOM'S
BROKEN.
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Warden: [ SIGHS ]
MUST I DO EVERYTHING MYSELF?
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[ METAL CREAKING ]
[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]
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[ GASPS ]
WAR-DEN! WAR-DEN!
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WAR-DEN!
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CAAAW!
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THE PROPHECIES WERE TRUE!
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CAAW!
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YOU HAVE RETURNED WITH YOUR
ANGELS TO RULE OVER US ONCE
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MORE! CAAAW!
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Warden: WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO
THESE INMATES?
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Alice: A WHOLE LOT OF BIRD
DICK, FROM THE LOOKS OF IT.
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Jared: WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU
GUYS?
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WE DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT
IT.
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Warden: WILL SOMEONE PLEASE
TELL THEIR WARDEN WHAT IS GOING
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ON HERE?!
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CAAW!
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HAVE WE DONE SOMETHING TO ANGER
YOU, FATHER WAR-DEN?
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CAAAW!
FORGIVE US!
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WE ARE YOURS TO COMMAND!
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AAWK!
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Warden: "FORGIVE US!
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WE ARE YOURS TO COMMAND."
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WELL, I HOPE YOU MEAN IT, YOU
DUMB CLUCK!
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BECAUSE THIS HAS BEEN THE
LONGEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
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AND I DIDN'T BUILD THE MOST
AWESOME JAIL THE UNIVERSE HAS
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EVER SEEN JUST TO LET SOME
STUPID TIME JERK TAKE IT AWAY
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FROM ME!
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EVERYONE, HOLD HANDS!
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WARDEN OF SUPERJAIL, BY THE
POWERS VESTED IN US, IN THE NAME
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OF TIME COURT, WE HEREBY FIND
YOU --
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Warden: I DECLARE A MISTRIAL!
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00:09:01,543 --> 00:09:02,977
IMPOSSIBLE!
199
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:05,076
Warden: GUESS YOU DIDN'T
PREDICT I'D GET MY HANDS ON ONE
200
00:09:05,143 --> 00:09:05,777
OF THESE, DID YOU?
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00:09:05,844 --> 00:09:07,011
THIS IS NOT GOOD.
202
00:09:07,076 --> 00:09:09,810
Warden: MAYBE I WOULD HAVE
KILLED A MILLION INNOCENT
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00:09:09,877 --> 00:09:12,810
PEOPLE, AND MAYBE I WOULD HAVE
ENSLAVED THE ENTIRE PLANET
204
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EARTH, BUT YOU SEE THESE
MISERABLE ABOMINATIONS?
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RAWK. HEY.
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00:09:16,644 --> 00:09:19,011
Warden: THEY'RE WHAT HAPPENED
WHEN I'M NOT IN THE WORLD TO RUN
207
00:09:19,076 --> 00:09:20,210
SUPERJAIL RIGHT.
208
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I'M TAKING ME OUT OF HERE THIS
INSTANT AND FIXING EVERYTHING
209
00:09:23,710 --> 00:09:26,577
YOU AND YOUR STUPID TIME POLICE
HAVE SCREWED UP!
210
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Warden: YOU DID IT, ME!
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00:09:28,043 --> 00:09:29,310
WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?
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Warden: AH-AH, YOU WILL.
213
00:09:31,011 --> 00:09:33,210
NO! STOP TOUCHING YOURSELF!
214
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THIS IS A TEMPORAL ANOMALY!
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YOU WILL RUPTURE THE FABRIC OF
SPACE/TIME!
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[ CRACKLING ]
[ ALL SHOUTING ]
217
00:09:49,644 --> 00:09:54,944
[ CRACKLING ]
[ ALL SHOUTING ]
218
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[ GUN COCKS ]
[ BULLET CLANGS ]
219
00:10:00,310 --> 00:10:01,377
Jared: AAH!
220
00:10:01,443 --> 00:10:05,143
Jared: AAH!
221
00:10:05,210 --> 00:10:05,977
AAH!
222
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[ LAUGHTER ]
AAH!
223
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[ SCREECHING ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
224
00:10:26,343 --> 00:10:28,343
[ LAUGHING ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
225
00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:46,977
[ BURPS ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
226
00:10:47,043 --> 00:10:49,043
[ SHOUTING ]
[ GUNS COCK ]
227
00:11:01,477 --> 00:11:03,543
AAH!
228
00:11:13,577 --> 00:11:15,577
Warden: [ CRYING ]
[ GREASE SIZZLING ]