DEC: This is the main man, Double D,
ready to drop cargo off at BGT.
# Don't stop thinking about tomorrow
# Don't stop, it'll soon be here
# It'll be better than before
# Yesterday's gone Yesterday's gone. #
HORN BLARES
HE YAWNS Ooh, where are we? It's dark.
Ah. I'll give you a clue.
The sky is grey, the traffic's terrible
and a cappuccino costs £6.50.
London. London!
I've missed the place. Yeah, me, too.
All that's left to do now is drop the mini judge-mobiles. Here we go.
Five, four, three, two, one...
Let's go. 90- 9°!
Ah-ha-ha. Woo-hoe'.!
Oh, these things are wicked. I love this.
Where is David?
ENGINE REVS
Oh, my God, what's that? DAVID: Hi, everybody. Hi.
What the hell is that? This is the safety car.
Oh, my God, it's David!
How did he even fit in that car?
OK, straight to the Palladium. Roger that.
I don't want anyone driving too fast, especially you, Simon.
Ah. Stop it, stop it. Stop it, Simon!
HE LAUGHS
Simon, you're going too fast!
Simon. Simon. Simon.
Oh, no. No, no, no, no!
LAUGHS
Oh, my God, he's taken out a bollard.
CAR HORNS BLARE Oh,dean
THEY LAUGH
Sorry about that, David.
Bye, David!
I'm meant to be at the front.
# Everybody dance
# Do-do-do clap your hands Clap your hands
# Everybody dance
# Do-do-do clap your hands
# Clap your hands... # Hi, guys.
# Body
Everybody
# Body
# Everybody
# Body
Everybody
# Body... #
It's your Britain's Got Talent judges!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
# Everybody dance Do-do-do clap your hands
# Clap your hands... #
Hold on, hold on. Where's David?
He was taking a long time to get here!
We're quite happy to carry on.
# I like driving in my car... #
Sorry I'm a little bit late.
# It don't look much But I've been far
# I like driving in my car... #
LAUGHTER, CHEERING
# Even with a flat tyre
# I like driving in my car
# It's not quite a Jaguar. #
It's me!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Can you get back in your car, David?
There's a white star at the front of the stage,
that's where you stand, have a little chat with the judges.
Then you will get into your performance.
Thank you. LAUGHTER
They love me. What can I say? They love me.
Hi, everybody. Hi.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Best of luck. It's all yours.
Have fun. Good luck. Break a leg.
Lovely dresses. Yeah.
Welcome. Thank you. Thank you.
So, what's the name of your group? We are The Dots.
I'm Amanda, this is Rosie and this is Kathy.
And so where do you normally perform?
All over the place. I've never done it before.
Oh. Oh, no, we said we weren't gonna say that.
Basically, yesterday, one of our original Dots
actually walked out, creative differences,
but Kathy has stepped in last minute.
Hang on, hang on.
Don't just throw that away.
What happened? She's a bit difficult,
should we say, shall we say?
So you've never performed with them until today?
No.
Um, I am intrigued what you're gonna do,
so I'm gonna let you take to the stage and go for it.
Thank you. Thank you.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
SONG: 'Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy'
Kathy. Kathy.
Nope.
Wrong way. Wrong way.
# He was a famous trumpet man From out Chicago way... #
Other way.
# He had a boogie style That no-one else could play... #
The other way.
# He can't blow a note unless
# The bass and guitar ls playin' with him... #
Ah!
So cute.
# He was our boogie woogie bugle boy Of Company B... #
LAUGHTER
# He puts the boys asleep With boogie every night
# And wakes 'em up the same way In the early bright
# They clap their hands And stamp their feet
# Because they know how he plays When someone gives him a beat... #
LAUGHTER
# He's the boogie woogie bugle boy Of Company B
# A toot, a toot A toot diddelyada toot
# He blows it eight to the bar... #
LAUGHTER
# And the company jumps When he plays reveille
# He's the boogie woogie bugle boy Of Company B. #
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Yes! Brilliant!
# Rescue me
# Take me in your arms Rescue me
# I want your tender charm... #
|—| knew, I knew that was part of the act.
LAUGHTER
I'm actually getting really stupid, aren't I?
That was brilliant, by the way, cos you really, really fooled me.
Oh, thank you.
It was absolutely brilliant.
Your timing was excellent.
Your harmonies are actually very good and,
you know, in the end, I think you'll get there.
So... good luck.
Oh, I love everything about this act. just a genius idea.
I love seeing things go wrong.
This is proper entertainment.
I thought you were brilliantly talented comic performers.
Everyone can enjoy this, can't they? AMANDA: Yeah.
You are on to something, The Dots,
so let me kick this off
with an enormous yes!
I'm saying yes.
It's a yes from me.
I knew all along it was a joke.
It's... four yeses.
# Rescue me
# Take me in your... #
LAUGHTER
# Rescue me
# I want your tender charm... #
Come on. Come on.
Here we are.
Here we go.
LAUGHTER
It just was the best thing he didn't know what was going on.
He didn't know. I loved it.
Oh. There we go.
# It's my party And I'll cry if I want to
# Cry if I want to... #
The stage is gonna be a lot bigger than the living room. I know!
Simon, I think, you know... I think, to be honest,
he's like a little bit of a pussycat on the inside. He's all right.
I'll probably regret now I've said that.
SIMON: What day is it today?
It's Monday, all right?
And you're judging Britain's Got Talent.
LAUGHTER
Er, my mum, my dad and my sister.
Immi, are you singing for us today?
Yes, I am. Let's do it.
It's all yours. Onto the star.
Good luck. Good luck, darling.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Go on, lmmi!
Well, nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too, Simon. Oh, thank you.
And what's your name? My name is lmmi Davis.
And where are you from, lmmi?
I'm from Welwyn Garden City.
That's my neck of the woods.
AMANDA: How old are you? I'm nine.
Oh, my goodness.
So, are you going to... sing?
Yes, I am.
OK, and what are you gonna sing?
I'm going to sing I Put A Spell On You
by Screamin' jay Hawkins.
Oh, my goodness.
Why that song?
It's because I've been practising it and...
LAUGHTER
Ha-ha! Good reason.
Everyone's making me look a bit stupid this year.
I've realised that.
I'm sorry.
You aren't stupid. I know I'm not, but...
I feel a bit stupid this year.
Thank you, lmmi, we've sort of become friends, I like that.
OK, so, why did you decide to come on the show, lmmi?
Because since I was five, I've been watching this show
and I've always wanted to be on this show. Really?
So, do you think you're gonna win, lmmi? I'd love to.
Well, look, I'm not gonna ask any more questions
because I'm feeling really, really stupid right now, so good luck.
Go on, lmmi!
She's really sweet.
Yeah. And funny.
SONG: 'I Put A Spell On You'
# I put a spell on you
# Because you're mine
# And you better stop the things You doin'
# I say watch out
# No, I ain't lyin'
# I put a spell on you
# Because you're mine, you're mine
# You better stop the things You're doin'
# I say watch out
# No, I ain't lyin'
# Cos, baby, I love you, yeah
# Can't you see that I love you Love you, love you?
# Even if you don't want me to
# Baby, if you don't want me
# I put a spell on you
# Oh, yes, I did
# Because you're mine... #
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
# You're mine
# Because you're mine. #
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
# Who is the girl I see
# Staring straight back at me? #
They're all on their feet! The whole lot of them.
# Why is my reflection Someone else? #
What a performance! Huh?!
You're not human.
How old you? Nine. Impossible.
Nine?! And sings like that!
That is extraordinary.
It's like you transform.
You're this cute nine—year—old and then you're,
"Pow! Take that." And we really did.
We were under your spell. I loved it, lmmi. Well done.
Thank you.
It sounded so retro, so vintage, so otherworldly.
It's like you were channelling goodness knows what. It was amazing.
SIMON: David. You sure you weren't miming?
LAUGHTER
I'm sure.
No, I was just completely gobsmacked.
It was extraordinary.
Can I ask you a question? Yeah.
Were you expecting this reaction?
No. You weren't, were you?
No. No, that's what makes you so special.
You were incredible.
Thank you.
But let's start with David.
I'm gonna say yes.
I'm saying yes.
It's a yes from me.
I think you got about 5,000 yeses, lmmi.
# Somehow I cannot be
# Who I am... #
Aww. Bless her.
Wow, wow, wow!
Where's the roof? The roof's gone, the roof's gone!
Oh, you blew it off. Well done.
# Guess who just got back today?
# Them wild-eyed boys That'd been away... #
Where have you got that from? I nicked it off a cameraman.
Backstage. LAUGHTER
Smile, everyone! You're on the telly!
# The boys are back in town The boys are back in town... #
Who doesn't love Ant and Dec? Find me these people. Yeah!
CHEERING Now, judges!
Give us a wave.
Hi, Mum! Hello, Mum!
They always cheer everyone up, don't they?
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Well done, Dec.
Very well done.
Coming from Newcastle,
it's just an absolute dream to meet Ant and Dec.
What are you doing for us today?
I'm doing a bit of unicycling and juggling,
but a lot of danger, so a bit of variety.
A lot of danger! Yes.
They're ready for you on stage. Shall we do it?
See you soon. He's going, yeah. He's doing it.
See you out there.
# The boys are back in town
# The boys are back in town... # CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Hello. Hello, how are you?
Great, thank you. What's your name? My name's Tommy j.
Where are you from? I'm from Norfolk.
How old are you, Tommy? I'm 18.
Do you have a day job? Yeah, I do this act. Yeah.
What would it mean to perform at the Royal Variety Show?
Well, it's always been my dream to perform at the Palladium.
Me and my... My dad's in entertainment as well.
He's a comedian, and so... But I'm much funnier.
LAUGHTER
How does it feel that a unicycle's taller than you?
Right, well, Tommy, go for it.
The stage is yours, good luck. Thank you.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
So, I'm looking for a volunteer. An intelligent man.
Dare I say, a sexy man.
Yes, you guessed it, it's Dec!
Come on, Dec. Bring on the unicycle. CHEERING
Give him a... Ha-ha! He can't get on that!
How come it's just Dec, by the way? Huh?
Who arranged this?
Now, Dec, you just stand there. That's brilliant. Like that.
Oh! Sorry, I hit the "Dec".
BUZZER
No! AUDIENCE BOOS
All hands on "Dec"! Here we go.
Stay with me, Dec. Now, remove your front foot, Dec.
LAUGHTER Remove your front foot.
Now, Dec, slight situation.
I've missed the seat, mate. LAUGHTER
Can you see those knives? Yes.
When I shout go... Yeah. ..run and get the knives.
Go for it! Run, Dec, run! Run, Dec, run!
Ladies and gentlemen, juggling knives,
it's Dec! Go for it, Dec.
Go on! I'm only kidding. Hang on, Dec.
Pass them up to me. Ladies and gentlemen,
can I have a drum roll, please?
DRUM ROLL, LAUGHTER
CHEERING, FANFARE
YES!
Now, Simon. Yes? I know what you're thinking.
What? That's not dangerous enough.
No. So, bring on...
the fire!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
# I'm dangerous. #
Yeah! Well done, that was amazing!
Tommy, look, you obviously are very talented
and you're a nice boy. I just thought...
nothing was very good.
AUDIENCE BOOS
This boy is wildly entertaining!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18 years old, you hold the stage
like you've been doing it for years and years and years.
You're funny, you can juggle,
you've got great rapport with people,
I mean, what is not to like?
Thank you, David. Means a lot. Thank you.
Typically, this isn't my cup of tea, so to speak...
AUDIENCE BOOS
But saying that, clearly, you're great at what you do
and, actually, it's for the audience to decide
whether they like it or not. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
So on behalf of the audience, I'm gonna say yes.
Yes! Yes!
Simon?
I'm gonna say no. OK.
AUDIENCE BOOS
Tommy, I'm saying yes!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE That's two, he needs three.
I'm in the middle here. I am literally in the middle.
This act feels like good old—fashioned entertainment.
But as talented as you are, it didn't blow me away today,
I have to be honest. OK.
AUDIENCE BOOS
Come on! # Let's get ready to rumble! #
Ant and Dec, did you love it? Yeah!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
We don't do enough for Ant and Dec, so for them, I will say yes!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Yes! Get in!
Thank you very much.
Thank you. Oh, bless his little heart.
Whew! Got through it.
Well done. You got through it. Thank you for helping me.
Not at all. Any time.
# Let's get ready to rumble... #
Dec and Ant. Dec and Ant.
Dec and... It's the first...
Dec and Ant. Dec and Ant.
Remind me, which one's which? Oh, Dad!
Ant's on the left. Oh, yeah.
You came on your bike? Yes, bicycle.
All the way from...? From Japan.
From Japan! No way!
We used to be quite big in japan,
you know, we were pop stars in Japan.
In japan? Yeah. You must remember.
# Wreck the mic Psyche... #
MUSIC DISTORTS AND STOPS
'96, '97... Had a number one.
Yes! I saw many times, you in... YouTube.
THEY LAUGH
It's a true story, yes. It's true.
So... Are they ready? Good luck. We're ready when you are.
Ready? Off you 9°-
# Let's get ready to rumble
# Get ready, get steady And rumble
# Everybody rumble! #
How do you think he got here today? Hello.
Hello! Hi! What's your name?
My name is Keiichi lwasaki.
Where are you from? I'm from Japan.
Oh, I love japan! Oh, thank you so much.
Watashi wa Alesha Dixon. Oh, yes. Exactly.
Yes... Oh, do you speak...?
LAUGHTER That's all I know. Alesha san.
How old are you?
Yeah, I'm 49 years old.
And what you're doing for us today, is that your day job?
No, it's my bicycle and...
LAUGHTER
No, no, no. Sorry, sorry. Pardon. Pardon.
I'm a little bit nervous, so excuse me.
No worries, my darling. So, why Britain's Got Talent?
It's because a big stage, the biggest stage in the world.
And it's... like, wow! My dream to come here.
Oh, fantastic. Yes, it's amazing!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Well, it's a pleasure to have you.
And what would you do with the money if you were to win?
I want to cross the, er... Atlantic Ocean
by rowing a boat, so I want to buy the boat.
Oh, fabulous.
You didn't expect that answer, did you?
No—one's ever said that. I love that.
OK, well, whenever you're ready.
Yes. Go for it.
OK, now I start. LAUGHTER
Oh, God, I love him.
I'm laughing already.
Simon, hello. Hello.
It was a hundred times that I saw you in YouTubes.
Simon, do you know this one?
Chopsticks. Yes, chopsticks.
How...? One, two, three. Eurgh!
Eurgh! Er, sorry! One more time!
Eurgh! Er, sorry!
Just this... What did he just do?
It's not the magic. I'm joking!
LAUGHTER Let's start the magic.
He's good. He's funny!
We can maybe ask the... Dec and Ant, please.
Dec and Ant! LAUGHTER
BOTH: Dec and Ant! Dec and Ant!
I love it!
That's got a ring to it. It's... Ant and Dec.
No, Dec and Ant's fine. Ant and Dec, it is.
Ant and Dec. Dec and Ant's fine.
Yeah, that's right. Please check this card is normal.
Normal. Normal.
And please shuffle it. Of course.
Yes! Dec, shuffle the deck.
Shuffled... by Dec and Ant. There you go. Yes!
LAUGHTER
Please take one card, as you like.
Me... me? Yeah, no, er...
No, no. I'll do it. I'll do it. Still me.
Please show to everybody. I don't see it. I don't want to see.
OK, please show the audience.
No, no, no... What?
No, I'm doing this bit. Ha!
LAUGHTER
OK. May I put it here? And I just close.
Now, I show you the Japanese way of shuffling.
OK. Wa-ta wa-ta wa-ta!
Hya!
LAUGHTER
Your card is... Wa-ta! ..there!
LAUGHTER Er, the queen of this?
No, that's not it. Oh, sorry.
Should have let me... This one?
No. This...?
LAUGHTER
No, no! What's...? It's just through here.
Is this your card? Yeah.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Wow.
How did he put the card in the man's armpit?
Now, I put... LAUGHTER
Just a moment. Just a moment.
Did you see it?! Whoa!
No! No! No! LAUGHTER, CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
ALESHA: That's so good.
Stop! Stop!
# Do-do do-do do-do-do
Hup, hup. One, two, three,
four, five, six, seven, eight, nine!
Amazing.
Didn't know japan was creating wizards.
What's going on over here?
£20. Ant, do you want it?
No! LAUGHTER
I put here £20.
Hup! Hyaa! Wa-ta!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
And then we have this...
Hyaa! Wa-ta!
LAUGHTER
Now... Hya! Wa...!
No. Hya!
Excuse me. Energy finished.
But no problem.
Genki Dama!
Hyaa! Wa-ta!
LAUGHTER
My last trick is for ladies.
BOTH: For ladies? Yes!
LAUGHTER
Alesha, can you come over here?
I'll come over here.
APPLAUSE
Well... You didn't do an awful lot then, did you?
He didn't ask us to, did he?
Alesha!
OK, a rig a to.
Please check this is what... What is this?
It's a ring. It's a ring, yes.
Give me a finger like this. Put the ring here.
OK, just hold on, don't move, because it's very difficult magic.
This ring, your finger. Hup!
One... two...
three!
Oh, stop. Passing... Whoa!
Alesha, wait, wait!
Hup! What?
HIGH—PITCHED RINGING
Oh... Ah'.!
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
# I'm not giving up
# I'm not giving up, giving UP
# No, not yet
# Even when I'm down to my last breath... #
AMANDA: Amazing!
# Even when they say There's nothing left
# So don't give up on
# I'm not giving up
# I'm not giving up, giving UP
# No, not me
# Even when Nobody else believes... #
He is brilliant! I love him.
# So don't give up on me... #
I loved it. You are funny, you are quirky,
you are very, very charming,
and your magic was absolutely excellent.
I mean, faultless.
Thank you so much. It's too much.
You're the funniest person we've seen
and the most magical person we've seen,
all combined in one, and I love you.
Yes! Thank you so much.
You are an absolute natural.
People are gonna like you so much.
Thank you so much. My son is gonna love you.
I mean, love you.
Oh-ho! You are one of the best we've seen so far.
0h!
# I'm not giving up, giving UP
# No, not yet. #
AUDIENCE CHANT APPROVINGLY
Isn't that lovely?
Yes, thank you so much.
The audience love you. I love you, too.
You're a superstar.
So I'm gonna kick this off with a yes.
Yes, thank you so much.
It's a yes from me. Yes. AMANDA: It's a yes from me.
Now, now, now!
I knew it!
Yes“ Yes! No!
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
You, my friend, get the Golden Buzzer!
WILD CHEERING # All the world is ours to take
# You and me, we'll find a way
# Oh, the wonder that awaits
# Here we are Forever starts... #
Well done.
I knew you would, knew it. Yeah.
Brilliant, brilliant.
Thanks so much, thank you so much.
Oh, mate, brilliant. Well done.
It was so good.
So good.
Very, very good.
I am in, like, a dream. Thank you so much.
I can't explain my emotion.
I never expect this.
Thank you so much.
# All the world is ours to take
# You and me, we'll find a way. #
We'll see you in the live shows.
Yes! Yes! See you there.
He deserved it.
Come on! Bye! Come on, come on!
Yeah! Yeah!
YES!
You did it, you did it, you did it, you did it, you did it.
Thank you. Thank you. You were brilliant.
That's brilliant. I love him so much. I know, me, too!
It's like a dream.
I saw this in, like, YouTube, some people got the Golden Buzzer.
Yeah, and now it's you! It's you!
LAUGHTER I'm going crazy!
Right... Yes!
CHEERING
It's so amazing here. Like, so many people.
My name is Jessica Brodin. I'm eight years old.
I'm going to do a poem.
I live with my parents, my brothers, my sisters,
and I have two dogs called Ghost and Romeo.
What would you do if you actually won 250,000?
Buy a zoo with chocolate spread sandwiches.
I like reading bedtime stories
and I also like watching David Attenborough.
It looks so cool!
I want to go out there. My favourite animal's a bunny.
They're so cute and fluffy!
How are you feeling about going on there?
Excited. Shall we do it?
Yes. It's all yours, Jessica.
Good luck. Ready? Go!
Welcome to Britain's Got Talent.
What's your name? My name is Jessica.
And how old are you, Jessica? I'm eight years old.
Wow. And whereabouts are you from?
I'm from Mill Hill. CHEERING
So, are you missing school today? Yes!
Yeah!
Yes!
Why have you come onto Britain's Got Talent?
My mum sent it as a joke, and then... here I am.
AMANDA: Aw!
The same for me.
LAUGHTER
We don't know what you're gonna do, we're all intrigued.
So, all I will say, Jessica,
is the stage is yours, very good luck.
APPLAUSE
Once upon a time on Jessica's Farm,
there were lots of animals who brought such a charm.
But instead of a sheep, a cow, a horse, a hen,
there were animals there that often escaped their pen.
Such as a dangerous dog, who if you entered, would bite.
SHE BARKS REALISTICALLY
Is that her? Is that her?
Is that actually coming out of her?
CONTINUES BARKI NG
LAUGHTER
A terrifying T-rex, who'd eat you on sight.
SHE ROARS
LAUGHTER
That's her.
No, she's not doing that.
And the treacherous tiger, who breaks eardrums when it roars.
SHE ROARS
It is her, isn't it?
And the crazy cougar that rips you open with pride.
SHE SNARLS
And the delightful dolphin that tells them all where you hide.
SHE WHISTLES AND CLICKS
CHEERING
That's my favourite.
So, that was Jessica's Farm,
where the animals DO intend to cause you harm.
So next time you visit, please call ahead,
or you could wind up injured, or even...
SHE ROARS
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
SONG: 'The Lion Sleeps Tonight'
Well done, Jess!
Well done, Jessica.
Can we hear the dolphin one more time? I loved it.
SHE WHISTLES AND CLICKS
That is brilliant.
Alesha was saying, you know, "Are these real noises?"
We were going, "No, she's not..."
I actually said, "No, she's not doing that,"
at the beginning, because they were that good,
I was like, "No, that's being played in."
But it's really you. CHEERING
I don't think we've had anyone on the show like you,
which makes you unique.
And that's exactly what we're looking for on this show.
Simon is attempting the noises.
I'm trying to judge as a dolphin.
HE MOANS STRANGELY
SHE WHISTLES Yeah, yours is better.
LAUGHTER
We always love — A — to be surprised,
and B — to have something we've never had before.
And it was different and it was funny.
So, Jessica, let me give you your first yes.
It's a yes from me. It's a yes from me.
And as a dolphin...
HE MOANS
...which is yes.
CHEERING
They were genuinely that good,
I thought there's no way that's coming from her.
Couldn't believe that. No.
H00! H00! H00!
Is she still going?
H00! H00! H00! H00!
H00! H00! H00! H00! H00! H00!
SONG: 'Eye of the Tiger' by Survivor
I'm JD Anderson, I'm from the United States,
and I'm a world record-holding strongman.
I was always the biggest kid growing up. I was huge.
I was over two feet long when I was born, I was 12lb.
I mean, I don't know what measurement you do here,
but that's a lot.
It's a real act, there's no tricks, there's no gimmicks.
It's just head-on, hard-core, and I just go for it.
I'm not scared of anything.
Today, I want Simon Cowell to say, "Wow, you're nuts, but I loved it
"and I want to see more." That's the goal.
You look pumped. I'm pumped.
He's pumped. He's pumped, all right! I'm pumped up.
That's puny. H00!
Listen, they're ready for you. Oh, they are?
CHEERING
All right. Hello. How are you?
I'm great, how are you? Good.
That looks like ice behind you. It's a lot of ice.
Which means I've got to make this talk really quick,
otherwise you won't have an act. What's your name, please?
My name is JD Anderson.
They call me The Iceman, and I'm from the United States.
CHEERING
Why come to Britain's Got Talent?
Britain's Got Talent is the biggest show by far.
AMANDA WHOOPS
Thank you for coming over to the UK to be on our show.
Thank you for having me, I'm excited to be here.
Right, no more questions, jD. We have an amazing audience tonight,
and they're all rooting for you, so good luck.
Thanks so much.
All right, here we go. Maestro, hit the music.
Come on, make some noise, help me out, here we go.
EPIC MUSIC I've got a solid steel hammer.
Take this just like this.
HE GRUNTS
Whoa! Just like that, solid steel.
Nnnng! Ah! Makes you wanna do it!
Bend your camera in half!
We've got a baseball bat.
Come on, guys, I can't hear you, make some noise!
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
Get loud, let me hear you.
Aah!
Ooh!
Here we go. Here we go.
Let's get the party started.
Put your hands together, here we go, come on.
ALL CLAP
Oh, my God.
What the...?
With his head!
With his heed!
AUDIENCE GASP Come on!
One more, come on, here we go. H00! H00!
Yeah!
HE BREATHES HENHLY
Oh, what?!
Come on, get loud, here we go!
Is he gonna run into it? Ooh.
Tell me he's gonna run through it.
H00! H00! H00!
H00! H00! H00! H00! H00!
H00! H00! H00!
Don't do it, don't do it!
A a a a a a ah!
Aaah! Oh, my goodness!
A a a a a a ah!
Oh, my God!
All right!
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
MUSIC: 'Tiger' by Katy Perry
Yes!
My gosh. Up there.
Ah!
That's unbelievable.
You are stronger than the Titanic, aren't you? Thank you.
OK, David, what do you think?
Well, you're very butch, dear, aren't you? I mean...
Oh, are you bleeding a bit from your head? Are you OK?
Sweet.
You're OK with that? I'm fine.
I mean, it's one of those acts you're never gonna forget.
It's incredible, incredible.
Thank you. I appreciate that.
CHEERING
That looked so much fun!
Thank you. It really did.
Honestly, you are a legend.
Thank you very much. That was so entertaining.
I loved it.
I mean, I think you're absolutely nuts.
Oh, look, St John's Ambulance.
There we are. Awesome.
There you go. He doesn't care.
It's just a scratch, innit, JD?
That's right. I don't even feel it.
I'm just grateful to be here, to be honest.
I mean, hey, thank you guys so much. That's awesome.
CHEERING
This was epic. You're like Incredible Hulk.
So strong. Amazing.
We always love acts, jD, which we've never seen before,
and that was a difficult one to describe to anyone.
That was brilliant. I mean... Yes!
You've got a real sense of showmanship as well, I love that.
Thank you, I appreciate that. People are gonna like you.
And I'm afraid to say no anyway, so...
LAUGHTER ..I'm gonna be the first to say yes.
Awesome. Thanks so much. Wow.
That's great. It's a yes from me.
YES! Yes!
Yes! Come on.
You're a very naughty boy, JD, but you are getting four yeses!
Yes!
# I've got the eye of the tiger
# A fighter Dancing through the fire... #
Thank you so much.
Thank you guys!
CHEERING
# You're gonna hear me roar. #
Yes!
Thank you. Thank you, guys.
I loved that, I really loved that.
Yes!
That was awesome. Well done. That was so fun.
When he ran and charged into that, that was brilliant.
He is mad.
Yeah, baby!
MUSIC: 'History' by One Direction
# You and me Got a whole lot of history
# We could be the greatest team... #
What are you doing? I'm doing comedy.
What are you doing for us on stage today?
Well, hopefully, I'm gonna be funny.
I'm Joey Howard, 69.
You're not, are ya? Yes, I am.
Where you from? Yorkshire, Barnsley, bread and buttered.
# We can make it You know it, you know... #
My name is Ben Nick less, I am 40 years old,
and I'm a variety entertainer from Lancashire.
I've been performing now for 20 years.
As a gigging comedian for the last 35 years,
I've worked all the clubs.
I've done pantomime. Cruises.
Holiday parks. Cabarets.
Hotels. Etc, etc.
You know, anywhere where there's a crowd.
There's nothing nicer than making people laugh.
Putting smiles on people's faces is just the best job in the world.
Good luck, joey. Have fun out there.
Wahey!
Hooray!
Hello. Hello. Who are you?
Why, Joseph Jose Manuel Howardo.
And is that what you were christened with?
No, I'm from Yorkshire in Barnsley, really.
LAUGHTER
But how long have you been doing what you're doing?
All my life. And what's the dream?
After all the years of doing this, to be here, stood on this spot,
where Sinatra worked,
Judy Garland, Pavarotti,
marvellous, in't it?
ALL: Aw!
Good luck, darling. APPLAUSE
Ladies and gentlemen, this evening,
I'm gonna perform for you, from Japan...
FLOURISH OF JAPANESE MUSIC
...the Japanese art of ori...
SILENCE
Origami!
YORKSHIRE ACCENT: Origami!
Come on, I know you're out there, I can hear you breathing.
So, ladies and gentlemen, Japanese paper folding.
Hit me!
MUSIC: 'Tea For Two Cha Cha' by Tommy Dorsey
LIGHT LAUGHTER
HE GIGGLES
It was wobbling.
Oh, come on!
So, ladies and gentlemen, because that went down so well,
hit me!
MUSIC: 'Wipe-out' by The Surf arts
DRUM SOLO
AUDIENCE: Aw!
What a shame. I liked him.
I couldn't hear the music, I'm sorry.
You were lucky. LAUGHTER
AMANDA: David?
I like you, JOEY-
But I don't think it was your night tonight, and I'm sorry.
OK.
You are very charismatic, very likeable.
My only note would be, you know, like,
for example, the newspaper, it was a lot of faffing around
for not much of a payoff, you know? SIMON: Faffing, yes.
It's no problem.
I appreciate that audiences absolutely love you.
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
Because you're really likeable, very funny.
But it just doesn't feel fresh enough
for the Royal Variety at the moment, I think.
OK.
OK, so, it's a no from me.
Amanda? It's a no from me.
Alesha? Sorry, it's a no today.
David? I'm sorry, it's a no.
No problem. OK!
APPLAUSE
Back to the clubs, then!
LAUGHTER Aw!
Oh, bless him. Aw.
So, what's next?
DEC: How are you?
I'm nervous... is the answer there, yeah.
They're ready, if you are.
Yeah.
LAUGHTER Are you sure?
You know when you think, "What you doing here?"
It's one of those moments. Is it one of them?
Yeah, but... You're waiting for me, then, aren't you?
Yeah, waiting for you. OK, right. Shall we do it?
In your own time. Thank you, lads. Whenever you want. Good luck.
CHEERING
ALESHA: Hello. What's your name?
Ben Nick less.
And where are you from? Lancashire.
CHEERING
Ben, you have a family?
I've got a wife.
What does she think about this? Erm...
She's the one that's made me come for this.
She would be here today, but I just said,
"I am just too nervous."
And what's the big dream for you?
I mean, how would it feel to perform at the Royal Variety Show?
It'd be... best night of my life, dream come true.
I started off 20 years ago.
I've always wanted to play the London Palladium,
put a smile on everyone's faces, you know, so...
APPLAUSE
So this is massive.
OK, Ben, good luck.
Thank you very much.
So, as I just said, I've been doing this for 20 years.
During lockdown, obviously, all the work stopped.
And I wanted to learn a new trade.
So I've been working on ventriloquism,
and I think I've mastered it,
so I'd like to try it out here for you tonight.
So here we go, bit of ventriloquism. CHEERING
This is Grandad. Everyone say, "Hello, Grandad."
AUDIENCE: Hello, Grandad!
You gonna say hello back?
No?
Why? Eh?
You what? Oh.
He says cos we're not two metres apart,
he would prefer it if I would wear my mask.
LAUGHTER
Is that better?
Yeah, that's much better, that!
APPLAUSE
That's all I do with that.
But I'm probably giving you the wrong impression.
I wanted to leave with the right impression,
so I'm going to attempt for you now 20 impressions in 60 seconds,
which...
...is very hard to do.
So, whoever they sound like, that's who it is.
SHE LAUGHS
Can we have 60 seconds on the clock, please?
I am Morgan Freeman.
LAUGHTER
I gotta say, I should still be President of the United States.
LAUGHTER
Oh, I say.
Hey! Sophie! Rosie!
LAUGHTER
Hey, Homey, where are you?
Mmm, nice beer, doughnuts.
LAUGHTER
Hey, hey, hey! Hiya, kids! DOES KRUSTY LAUGH
LAUGHTER
The Scouse comedian, you can't understand what he says.
LAUGHTER
Absolutely fantastic, triffic.
Oh, yes, I'm a chatty man!
Oh, Mother, you vile woman.
Giggidy-giggidy-giggidy, all right!
Basically, Michael, you know this,
you know this, I know this, you know this.
ANT LAUGHS
SQUEAKILY: Oh, my God!
LAUGHTER
Celebrity Juice, roll VT.
Sharon!
Cracking cheese, Gromit!
Oh, you know, we like to party.
SIMON LAUGHS
And here we have the most peculiar creature.
Oh, Scooby Snacks, hee-hee-hee-hee! Scooby Dooby D00!
That was brilliant. APPLAUSE
Very good. Whoo!
Well done, well done.
Genuinely,
this is the best night of my life. And as Take That would say,
this is the "greatest day" of my life.
Let's do it. Starting off with Gary Barlow.
HE DRAWLS: Hey, all right?
LAUGHTER, MUSIC STARTS
# Today, this could be
# The greatest day of our lives
AS MARK OWEN: # Stay close to me
# Stay close to me
#Oh
AS GARY BARLOW: # The greatest
# Day of our
# Lives! #
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
# We will go From this day on
# Take this world And make it ours... #
Very good. Well done, Ben.
# You and I
# All life long
# We'll take this world
# From this day on... #
Oh, well done, Ben.
Thank you. David, what did you think?
It doesn't matter what we think,
because you can hear how funny Ben is.
CHEERING
Whoo!
You know, talk about storming it, that was incredible,
it was like a hurricane of comedy.
I take my hat off to you, Ben. You're a real talent.
Thank you so much.
You're so quick. I don't know how you do it.
It just worked perfectly and it's an absolute pleasure
and an hon our to have you on the show, to be honest.
It was brilliant, well done.
A lot of people take a long time to get to the joke or get to the point,
and you made sure that it landed and it was fast-paced,
and it kept us engaged and entertained
and laughing the whole way, so it was a brilliant audition.
Thank you very much, thank you. Well done.
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
I didn't like the beginning of the audition,
and then when you got to the second half,
then I got it, and I thought,
"Yeah, this is a really, really good audition."
And you know what, I really felt your emotion
when you told us about the 20 years and what this means to you,
it was very sincere,
and I felt a real energy from the audience behind me,
that they were supporting you, liked you,
wanted you to do well.
So it was a really, really good audition.
I will kick this off with a very easy yes.
You deserve this. It's a yes from me.
Thank you.
It's a yes from me.
You've got three yeses.
However...
...now you have four yeses on Britain's Got Talent.
Thank you.
Well done.
Thank you.
# From this day on
# Take this world
# And make it ours
# You and I
# All life long
# We'll take this world
# From this day on. #
AMANDA: Really good. Yeah.
Nice 9U)!-
Well done. I'm thrilled for you. Thank you so much.
You deserved four yeses. It means the world.
You'll be buzzing all the way home, won't you? Oh, I will be.
So good. I loved him.
Yeah. I mean, hilarious.
ANT: It's competition time, and here's another chance to win
# Ain't no mountain high enough
# No valley low enough
# No river wide enough... #
It is wonderful how everyone's coming on the show this year.
It's like there's an outpouring of people
who just are feeling extra brave cos of everything else.
Oh, incredible.
We are The Front line Singers.
We're made up of nurses, teachers, paramedics.
The pandemic was the hardest time in my career.
How much hope has it give us, this, and how much of a distraction? Yeah.
Music's like therapy. just coming and singing together,
it made me forget, almost.
How are you? ALL: Great!
Nobody's called you, have they? No, love, no!
How we feeling? A mixture of emotions.
Absolutely. Actually, the word is privileged.
Yeah. Well, I think we're the privileged.
Listen, they're ready, if you're ready.
Shall we do it? Let's do it.
It's all yours. The very best of luck.
Have fun out there. Enjoy.
APPLAUSE
# Ain't no mountain high enough
# Ain't no river long enough
# To keep me from you. #
Hi, there. Who have we got here?
We are The Front line Singers. Oh, my goodness.
So, what have we got, nurses and paramedics?
Nurses, police officers,
paramedics, teachers, physios,
and some theatre performers
who got jobs on the front line during the pandemic.
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
OK, so tell me how it all came about.
My daughter, Gina,
and her partner, James,
they're musical theatre writers,
and they wanted to write a song that would bring hope,
unity, just something positive out of what we've been through.
It's fantastic that we can be part of it, thank you.
Thank you.
MUSIC STARTS
# We never know
# What life will throw our way
# But if we stand As one
# We'll get through each day
# In the dark, look tonight
# You will see a burning light
# It shines from the love
# In windows below
# Where every boy, every girl
# Living in this strange old world
# Will see the best that we can be
# And they will learn From you and me
# In the dark, look tonight
# You will our see a burning light
# It shines from the love
# In windows below
# Where every boy, every girl
# Living in this strange old world
# Will see the best that we can be
# And they will learn From you and me
# But through our pain And lack of immunity
# We rediscovered Our sense of community
# Out of the pivotal Miracle of technology
# Connected now by new ideology
# We left behind The polluting and commuting
# And we spent our time working out Where we should really draw the line
# What's important and what's not
# And every day we live Holding onto what we got
# In the dark, look tonight
# You will our see a burning light
# It shines from the love
# In windows below
# Where every boy, every girl
# Living in this strange old world
# Will see the best that we can be
# And they will learn from you
# Every boy, every girl
# Living in this strange old world
# Will see the best
# That we can be
# And they will learn
# From you
# And me. #
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
Wow.
SONG: 'Fm You'
# Tears stream down your face
# I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
# Tears stream down your face
# And I... #
Oh, my goodness.
Well done. Alesha?
Oh, don't cry, you're gonna set me off.
Sorry, sorry! LAUGHTER
I found that really moving, actually. I really did.
I hung onto every single word that you sang.
It was so poignant, so lovely,
and we are in debt to you for your services, yes, we are.
And, yeah, it was very touching. Thank you so much.
APPLAUSE
Yes, I mean, it was just the perfect marriage
between incredible things you've done for us all
and this wonderful song.
It was just an amazing moment.
It's just wonderful that we can be part of it all, really,
and that you get this moment, cos it was tremendous.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
What we've gone through, the last two years, it's surreal.
And then out of it comes moments like this.
It gives us a chance to say thank you to all of you,
because it's people like yourselves who protected, you know, all of us.
We have good times ahead, I think.
Well, you know what happens next. David?
I'm saying yes.
Alesha? I'm saying yes.
Oh, yes, obviously, yes.
And now you've got four yeses.
Congratulations. CHEERING
# Tears stream down your face
# I promise you I will learn from my mistakes... #
# Tears stream... #
SIMON: Well done.
# Down your face
# And I... #
They did so well.
Hey, that was such a special performance.
Honestly, it was emotional, it was moving.
Today was a good day.
HE SOBS
ANT: Thank you. Thanks again.
# And I will try
# To fix you. #
JAUNTY MUSIC
Don't try that at home! Get off!
Argh! BUZZER
It was just like being at the most incredible party.
David's gonna love this!
AMANDA LAUGHS
SIMON: That's how you do it.
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