1
00:01:34,590 --> 00:01:36,170
Yes, 10!

2
00:01:36,510 --> 00:01:38,090
Well done, Cubonius.

3
00:01:38,180 --> 00:01:39,930
You decapitated the unicorn.

4
00:01:40,010 --> 00:01:41,390
-Swell.
-All right.

5
00:01:41,470 --> 00:01:44,310
Oh, oh!
We search his tail pouch for treasure.

6
00:01:44,390 --> 00:01:47,680
Deep in the unicorn's rump sack, you find

7
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,610
60 gold pieces

8
00:01:51,690 --> 00:01:56,320
and a mysterious scrap of cloth bearing
the unmistakable stench of dwarf urine.

9
00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:59,360
The same stench
that was on the bed linens at the inn?

10
00:01:59,450 --> 00:02:02,160
-The very same.
-Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

11
00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:05,040
I cast a spell of detect magic.

12
00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:09,290
What you doing, mini-meatbags?
Underage gambling?

13
00:02:09,370 --> 00:02:10,460
Shame on you.

14
00:02:10,540 --> 00:02:11,710
Count me in.

15
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,630
We're not gambling.
We're playing Dungeons & Dragons.

16
00:02:14,710 --> 00:02:18,800
Right now, we're fighting for our lives
in the lair of the dragon queen.

17
00:02:19,300 --> 00:02:22,470
Wrong, right now you're
ass-deep in a folding chair.

18
00:02:22,550 --> 00:02:26,970
Yes, but in my imagination
I'm riding a golden Pegasus.

19
00:02:27,060 --> 00:02:28,310
Giddy up, Sparky!

20
00:02:28,390 --> 00:02:31,480
Am I the only one seeing him sitting here
with peanut butter on his face?

21
00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:34,480
Bender, were you built
without an imagination?

22
00:02:34,570 --> 00:02:37,730
What? Don't be stupid, of course not.

23
00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:40,570
It just hasn't descended yet.

24
00:02:45,410 --> 00:02:48,160
Fry, do I have an imagination?

25
00:02:48,250 --> 00:02:50,410
I don't know, Bender. Why do you ask?

26
00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:52,460
Were the other boys making fun of you?

27
00:02:52,580 --> 00:02:55,840
Mmm-hmm.
They said I couldn't imagine things.

28
00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:58,760
Well, you never know unless you try.

29
00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:01,010
Like, I didn't know
if I could swallow a softball,

30
00:03:01,090 --> 00:03:03,840
so I gave it my best shot and voilà!

31
00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:05,800
Wait, that's not it.

32
00:03:06,350 --> 00:03:07,470
There she blows.

33
00:03:08,890 --> 00:03:11,190
Warning, out of dark matter fuel.

34
00:03:11,270 --> 00:03:12,560
That's not a warning.

35
00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:15,860
A warning is supposed to come
before something bad happens.

36
00:03:15,940 --> 00:03:19,610
Warning,
engines will shut down in one second.

37
00:03:19,690 --> 00:03:21,200
That's more like it.

38
00:03:26,780 --> 00:03:27,830
Uh-oh.

39
00:03:27,910 --> 00:03:30,540
This space neighborhood
looks kind of sketchy.

40
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,250
Rock 'n' roll.

41
00:03:36,710 --> 00:03:38,840
That punk stole our hood ornament.

42
00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:41,720
Now no one will know
we have the LX package.

43
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:44,260
We need dark matter and we need it fast.

44
00:03:44,340 --> 00:03:47,510
Fry, check Nibbler's litter box.
Maybe he dropped a steamer.

45
00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:48,680
Aye, aye, Captain.

46
00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:55,350
Yes! I've never been so excited
to see poop.

47
00:03:55,650 --> 00:03:56,810
Well, maybe once.

48
00:04:03,820 --> 00:04:05,450
There's gas in our ass.

49
00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:21,260
Can you believe the price of dark matter?

50
00:04:21,340 --> 00:04:25,090
It'd be cheaper to fill the tank
with Nobel Prize winners' sperm.

51
00:04:25,180 --> 00:04:30,100
Total dark matter purchased, $632.14.

52
00:04:30,180 --> 00:04:32,600
Your Speedpass will now be charged.

53
00:04:34,390 --> 00:04:35,770
You lousy...

54
00:04:35,850 --> 00:04:38,270
Hey,
gets a loads of that ugly ship.

55
00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:40,480
What shades of green is that? Puke?

56
00:04:42,860 --> 00:04:46,360
For your information
it's called Electric Mucus.

57
00:04:46,450 --> 00:04:47,740
More like puke.

58
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:49,620
Whoa!

59
00:04:49,700 --> 00:04:53,790
Yeah, why don't you come a little closer
so my boot can hear you?

60
00:04:53,870 --> 00:04:57,290
Calm down, Leela.
You can vent tonight on your blog.

61
00:04:57,380 --> 00:05:00,840
What's the matters,
you couldn't affords the LX package?

62
00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:02,300
Puke-a-doodle-do.

63
00:05:02,590 --> 00:05:04,630
You're making fun of our ship?

64
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,180
Your ship is the most beat-up thing
I've ever seen,

65
00:05:07,260 --> 00:05:09,470
and I've seen Mickey Rourke's head.

66
00:05:09,550 --> 00:05:11,680
Yeah, she's a little Rourke-y,

67
00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:15,890
but you got to gets big time ugly to be
five-time winners at a demolition derby.

68
00:05:19,060 --> 00:05:22,150
That's five more times than we've won
or even entered.

69
00:05:22,230 --> 00:05:23,780
We do suck.

70
00:05:23,860 --> 00:05:27,280
Yup, and it's gonna be six winses
after tonights.

71
00:05:27,610 --> 00:05:29,700
We'll sees abouts that.

72
00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:35,700
Dark matter costs have tripled,
so we must reduce expenses.

73
00:05:35,790 --> 00:05:39,040
Therefore, we will no longer provide
complimentary porno magazines

74
00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:40,170
in the lounge.

75
00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:44,840
-Darn it.
-And no more wasting fuel.

76
00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:48,630
From now on I'll be keeping a tight hold
on the keys to the ship,

77
00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:52,970
swallowing them before I go to bed
and recovering them the next morning.

78
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,350
Professor, it's 4:00.

79
00:05:56,770 --> 00:05:59,600
4:00 in the evening? Then, good night.

80
00:06:03,610 --> 00:06:05,570
I don't care what the Professor says.

81
00:06:05,650 --> 00:06:10,030
We're entering that demolition derby
to prove our ship isn't a piece ofjunk.

82
00:06:10,110 --> 00:06:12,700
But won't that turn our ship
into a piece ofjunk?

83
00:06:12,780 --> 00:06:14,740
Shut up, Zoidberg.

84
00:06:14,830 --> 00:06:15,910
He's right, Leela.

85
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:19,370
But we have no choice.
Rednecks insulted us.

86
00:06:19,460 --> 00:06:22,630
So? Let it go.
Don't let your temper get the better of...

87
00:06:22,710 --> 00:06:24,960
Rednecks!

88
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:33,390
Using this magneto,

89
00:06:33,470 --> 00:06:37,970
I will now guide the keys up the thorax
and out via the frontal face hole.

90
00:06:40,230 --> 00:06:46,940
That's the storage locker, the bolt,
the other bolt, pay dirt!

91
00:06:48,990 --> 00:06:53,410
Rocket ship

92
00:06:56,870 --> 00:07:01,540
Rocket ship

93
00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:10,630
Greetings, sports fans.

94
00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:13,260
Though whether
this outpouring of inbreds

95
00:07:13,340 --> 00:07:16,050
can in fact be classified as a sport

96
00:07:16,140 --> 00:07:20,310
is a subject of no small scholarly debate.

97
00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:25,270
Well, wells, well, if it ain'ts
Princess Pukerella

98
00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:27,570
and her pukey puke-mobile.

99
00:07:27,650 --> 00:07:30,150
Oh, yeah? Well... Shut up.

100
00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:32,070
-Good comeback, Leela.
-You shut up, too.

101
00:07:33,450 --> 00:07:36,450
Rich Little, here, as Howard Cosell.

102
00:07:36,530 --> 00:07:41,120
And now to grace us with its rendition
of the national anthem,

103
00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:44,670
please welcome what is left
of the Dixie Chicks

104
00:07:44,750 --> 00:07:48,550
after their tragic
matter transporter accident.

105
00:07:49,340 --> 00:07:51,630
We're in horrible pain.

106
00:07:53,380 --> 00:07:55,550
And we are underway.

107
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:11,690
Whoas!

108
00:08:11,820 --> 00:08:13,650
Yes! Now we're inflicting.

109
00:08:13,740 --> 00:08:18,700
Outstanding! Tonight we are
witnessing a veritable clinic

110
00:08:18,780 --> 00:08:23,910
and that ludicrous hullabaloo
known as demolition derby.

111
00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:36,260
Way to kill the franchise, Bakula.

112
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:42,560
Ladies and gentlemen,
we are down to our final two ships.

113
00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:48,360
ln the storied annals of demolition derby,
today will surely be remembered,

114
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:51,780
if only as the day
upon which l was absorbed

115
00:08:51,860 --> 00:08:56,660
into that hideous conglomeration
once known as the Dixie Chicks.

116
00:08:57,990 --> 00:08:59,820
Buckle your sphincters.

117
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,370
-No! No!
-No!

118
00:09:05,460 --> 00:09:09,290
-That broad's insanes.
-But you're insansier, right?

119
00:09:09,790 --> 00:09:11,670
Nah, I guess nots.

120
00:09:11,750 --> 00:09:14,840
I've decideds to relax
and enjoy life from now ons.

121
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:30,310
Yes! We did it!

122
00:09:31,980 --> 00:09:34,990
And Planet Express takes the trophy.

123
00:09:39,660 --> 00:09:43,200
Rocket ship

124
00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,720
Now, I'll use the magnet
to get the keys back in there.

125
00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:59,840
What? You mean I cut a big hole
in him for nothing?

126
00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:06,560
Don't worry, the Professor
won't even remember

127
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:07,850
that he has a spaceship.

128
00:10:09,060 --> 00:10:10,480
My precious spaceship.

129
00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:14,440
My lone source ofjoy
in the cold December of my days.

130
00:10:14,530 --> 00:10:19,110
Come, friends. Let's take her for a spin
to the malt shop like old times.

131
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:23,030
Leela to Zoidberg.
Execute Distraction Protocol Alpha.

132
00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:24,240
Roger that.

133
00:10:24,870 --> 00:10:27,370
Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!

134
00:10:28,710 --> 00:10:30,040
Don't look at me.

135
00:10:34,750 --> 00:10:37,550
Yes, she's a wonderful ship, all right.

136
00:10:37,630 --> 00:10:41,800
As beautiful now
as the day I got botched laser eye surgery.

137
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:43,510
Now, that's odd.

138
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:45,470
What's the fuel gauge doing on the...

139
00:10:47,220 --> 00:10:49,270
Great Godzilla's gonads!

140
00:10:49,350 --> 00:10:52,900
Who wasted precious fuel?
Answer now or be punished.

141
00:10:53,150 --> 00:10:57,190
-All right, fine. I admit it.
-You will be punished.

142
00:10:58,990 --> 00:11:00,530
Oh, my gosh, 20!

143
00:11:00,610 --> 00:11:02,160
Yeah.

144
00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:04,120
Your pole arm does double damage,

145
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:07,200
and the gelatinous cube dies
in horrible poverty.

146
00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:10,710
-All right.
-Hooray.

147
00:11:10,790 --> 00:11:14,290
I proceed to cast a spell of darkness.

148
00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:16,290
Most ingenious.

149
00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:19,840
-Bender?
-Me?

150
00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:23,590
I cast a spell of darkness.

151
00:11:25,350 --> 00:11:26,680
Pretty imaginative, huh?

152
00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:31,020
No, you just did the same thing as me,
but with a dumb noise.

153
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:32,190
Oh...

154
00:11:32,940 --> 00:11:37,690
You're right. I'm great in every way
except I have no imagination.

155
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:42,360
All I ever wanted is to play
this magical game and I can't.

156
00:11:42,450 --> 00:11:45,910
Yes, you can. You just have
to lose yourself in the fantasy.

157
00:11:45,990 --> 00:11:49,200
You have to believe the impossible
is merely preposterous.

158
00:11:49,290 --> 00:11:51,410
Okay. Here goes.

159
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,040
Visor down.

160
00:11:53,710 --> 00:11:55,790
I believe, I believe.

161
00:11:57,130 --> 00:11:58,500
Ooh.

162
00:11:59,130 --> 00:12:01,380
I did it! I imagined something.

163
00:12:01,470 --> 00:12:05,890
For 1.3 milliseconds,
I truly believed I was a noble robot

164
00:12:05,970 --> 00:12:07,510
in days of yonder.

165
00:12:07,970 --> 00:12:09,430
Way to go, Bender.

166
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:11,930
What is thy character's name, good sir?

167
00:12:12,060 --> 00:12:13,560
Uh, um...

168
00:12:13,770 --> 00:12:16,400
I am Titanius Inglesmith,

169
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:18,400
fancy man of Cornwood.

170
00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:24,740
Everybody out of the conference room.
I am calling a conference.

171
00:12:24,820 --> 00:12:26,410
Everybody get in here.

172
00:12:26,910 --> 00:12:31,580
You wasted precious fuel just because
you were insulted by some redneck yokel

173
00:12:31,660 --> 00:12:33,250
from beyond the stars?

174
00:12:33,330 --> 00:12:36,120
-It was only half a ball.
-That's not the point.

175
00:12:36,210 --> 00:12:37,960
Your temper is out of control.

176
00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:40,040
And to think I'd have never even known

177
00:12:40,130 --> 00:12:44,420
if it weren't for the lengthy
and unsolicited tattling of Dr. Zoidberg.

178
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:47,220
She also took home
two rolls of Scotch tape.

179
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:49,220
Thank you, Dr. Zoidberg.

180
00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:52,020
Hermes, incentivize that employee.

181
00:12:55,190 --> 00:12:59,150
As for you, Leela, I'm letting you off
with a warning.

182
00:12:59,270 --> 00:13:01,070
Oh, thank you.

183
00:13:01,150 --> 00:13:05,820
A warning that will be administered
by this 50,000-volt shock collar.

184
00:13:07,030 --> 00:13:10,200
Zoidberg, I'm gonna put my boot
so far up your cloaca, you'll be...

185
00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:11,450
Ow!

186
00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:15,830
The collar will be triggered any time
your thoughts turn to violence.

187
00:13:16,460 --> 00:13:18,040
Profanity.

188
00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:19,420
Son of a...

189
00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:22,050
Or perversions of a sexual nature.

190
00:13:23,050 --> 00:13:24,050
Ow!

191
00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:28,010
Sorry, it's the only collar
they had in stock at Office Depot.

192
00:13:28,090 --> 00:13:31,510
I hope you picked up some Scotch tape
while you were there.

193
00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:34,720
That's a good one.

194
00:13:41,940 --> 00:13:45,490
lmagine, if you will,
an announcer you can barely understand.

195
00:13:45,740 --> 00:13:46,740
He refers to a..

196
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:49,320
But you're not quite sure what he said.

197
00:13:49,490 --> 00:13:53,030
He seems to be eating something,
or perhaps he's a little drunk.

198
00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:57,540
lt's remotely possible that he just said
something about The Scary Door.

199
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:14,060
Firing, sir!

200
00:14:14,350 --> 00:14:16,430
It's all over. Our guns and bombs

201
00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:20,560
-are useless against the aliens.
-The saucers! Theys are crashing!

202
00:14:25,530 --> 00:14:29,070
ln the end, it was not guns
or bombs that defeated the aliens,

203
00:14:29,150 --> 00:14:32,950
but that humblest of all God's creatures,
the Tyrannosaurus Rex.

204
00:14:38,790 --> 00:14:42,210
I can't believe TiVo suggested
that piece of... Ow!

205
00:14:42,540 --> 00:14:43,840
Come on, Hermes.

206
00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:47,050
Surely you have the authority
to remove this damn collar.

207
00:14:47,170 --> 00:14:50,800
Alas, no.
I got the key but not the authority.

208
00:14:50,930 --> 00:14:51,930
Yeow!

209
00:14:52,470 --> 00:14:54,720
Well, who does have the authority?

210
00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:57,470
Only the staff doctor.
You'll have to convince him

211
00:14:57,560 --> 00:14:59,310
that you have resolved your anger issues.

212
00:14:59,390 --> 00:15:03,310
I don't have any god...
mother...anger issues.

213
00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:08,900
As your dwarf-skin canoe rounds a bend
you suddenly see...

214
00:15:08,990 --> 00:15:11,110
A terrifying red dragon.

215
00:15:12,450 --> 00:15:14,160
What do we do? What do we do?

216
00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:15,580
Wait, I know.

217
00:15:15,660 --> 00:15:18,330
I make use of my rod of fireballs.

218
00:15:22,370 --> 00:15:25,420
Everyone knows red dragons
are immune to fireballs

219
00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:28,250
as well as all other forms
of incendiary attack.

220
00:15:28,340 --> 00:15:32,680
Yes, but I aim not at the dragon
but at the river itself,

221
00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:35,850
to create a shroud of steam
through which we can escape.

222
00:15:35,930 --> 00:15:37,560
Whoa!

223
00:15:39,140 --> 00:15:41,680
Sweet pony of Sierra Leone, it worked!

224
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:44,150
-We did it!
-Yeah!

225
00:15:45,230 --> 00:15:46,650
Bender, smell this milk.

226
00:15:46,730 --> 00:15:49,980
I go not by the name of Bender,
you fleshy fool,

227
00:15:50,070 --> 00:15:54,660
I am Titanius Inglesmith,
fancy man of Cornwood.

228
00:15:57,870 --> 00:15:59,910
Professor, something's bothering me.

229
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:03,410
Well, you can
always talk to me about anything, Fry.

230
00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:05,120
What's on your mind?

231
00:16:05,210 --> 00:16:07,590
Well, it's about my friend Bender.

232
00:16:07,710 --> 00:16:09,550
Mmm. I see.

233
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:14,260
Show me on this anatomically correct doll
exactly where he touched you.

234
00:16:14,340 --> 00:16:18,810
No, it's nothing like that.
It's just that I am worried about him.

235
00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:21,810
He's being playing an awful lot
of Dungeons & Dragons.

236
00:16:21,890 --> 00:16:26,190
Dungeons &... Good God!
Hasn't he seen the Afterschool Special?

237
00:16:26,900 --> 00:16:28,400
You've got to talk to him, Fry.

238
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:32,190
Make him quit now,
before he completely loses his mind.

239
00:16:32,530 --> 00:16:35,070
-Okay, I will.
-Good boy.

240
00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:37,950
Just don't let him touch you down there.

241
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:45,620
Well, here's your problem, right here.
You've got a skull embedded in your head.

242
00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:50,250
You're absolutely right, Doctor.
Can the collar come off now?

243
00:16:50,750 --> 00:16:54,720
Let me just peel your head a little
and see if I can get that skull out.

244
00:16:58,430 --> 00:17:02,600
So, you tell me, little miss expert,
why always with the temper?

245
00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:04,520
Calm down for once and think.

246
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:07,940
Here, enjoy a relaxing spritz
from my empathy bladder.

247
00:17:09,650 --> 00:17:12,730
What is it, already?
What's the cause of your anger?

248
00:17:13,030 --> 00:17:16,240
I guess I would have to say, I hate you.

249
00:17:16,860 --> 00:17:21,080
I'm beginning to understand.
It all goes back to your parents.

250
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:23,370
-What?
-You have a resentment

251
00:17:23,450 --> 00:17:25,910
because they pushed you
to study medicine,

252
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:29,670
when all you ever wanted
was to be a song-and-dance man.

253
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:37,380
Why? Why?

254
00:17:37,510 --> 00:17:39,390
I was raised in an orphanarium.

255
00:17:39,470 --> 00:17:40,800
My parents are sewer mutants

256
00:17:40,890 --> 00:17:43,350
who I never even met
until a few years ago.

257
00:17:43,470 --> 00:17:47,060
Then you've got to go to them
and work this song-and-dance stuff out.

258
00:17:47,140 --> 00:17:50,810
Maybe have them cook me nice dinner.
No scallions. I hate them.

259
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:55,070
-Amy, cancel my appointments.
-Stop calling me.

260
00:18:02,030 --> 00:18:04,290
Bender, please don't get mad,

261
00:18:04,370 --> 00:18:07,870
but I think you might be playing too much
Dungeons & Dragons.

262
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,000
You're absolutely right, Fry.

263
00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:13,590
I almost went insane,
but after this heart-to-heart talk,

264
00:18:13,670 --> 00:18:15,800
-I've decided to quit.
-Really?

265
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:18,050
Whew! That's a load off my toad.

266
00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:19,930
Now, if you'll excuse me.

267
00:18:20,010 --> 00:18:22,720
I'm off to slay the werewolf
of Goblin Mountain.

268
00:18:30,980 --> 00:18:32,810
On guard, man-wench!

269
00:18:32,900 --> 00:18:34,900
Prepare to cross blades.

270
00:18:35,190 --> 00:18:37,150
You couldn't afford it, honey.

271
00:18:40,490 --> 00:18:45,540
Foolish leprechaun, I scoop your treasure
in the name of the fancy men.

272
00:18:46,950 --> 00:18:50,120
He also left a small pile
of treasure on the living room rug.

273
00:18:52,210 --> 00:18:54,710
Foul dragon, meet thy doom.

274
00:19:14,190 --> 00:19:16,900
-Would you like a napkin, Doctor?
-Thank you.

275
00:19:18,610 --> 00:19:22,570
Satisfied, Zoidberg?
My relationship with my parents is fine.

276
00:19:22,820 --> 00:19:26,490
Now, hold on, Leela.
Maybe this torture collar is good for you.

277
00:19:26,580 --> 00:19:27,580
What? Ow!

278
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,200
It'll control your temper.

279
00:19:29,290 --> 00:19:32,670
Men like a woman who's not always
slamming their head in the car door.

280
00:19:32,750 --> 00:19:35,250
She's right. That's what first attracted me
to your mother.

281
00:19:37,420 --> 00:19:40,840
So, Leela, I understand your friend here
is a physician,

282
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,180
and I'm not seeing a ring on his claw.

283
00:19:43,260 --> 00:19:45,340
Mom, he's a cockroach from outer space.

284
00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:49,060
Good, Leela, work that anger out.

285
00:19:49,140 --> 00:19:51,930
Excuse me a moment,
I'm swarming with parasites.

286
00:19:56,190 --> 00:19:58,730
Hey, it's what's-his-name from the surface.

287
00:19:58,820 --> 00:20:00,280
The bi-clops.

288
00:20:00,990 --> 00:20:04,780
Have you seen Bender? He's gone nuts.
Also, smell this milk.

289
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:10,750
Prepare for a surprise attack.

290
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,290
Someone do something.

291
00:20:13,370 --> 00:20:16,830
I would, but... Ow! Take my collar off.

292
00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:18,960
I can't, I'm still eating.

293
00:20:22,420 --> 00:20:23,800
Help me, Leela.

294
00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:30,060
I cast upon thee a spell of fireball!

295
00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:45,450
No.

296
00:20:45,530 --> 00:20:47,200
Not the spork.

297
00:20:47,490 --> 00:20:51,870
Beholdeth, Titanius,
I cast a freeze ray upon you.

298
00:20:51,950 --> 00:20:56,170
That's ridiculous.
There's no such thing as a freeze ray.

299
00:20:56,580 --> 00:20:59,290
-What, you mean a cone of coldness?
-Yeah, that.

300
00:20:59,670 --> 00:21:04,720
No! No! Fancy men are defenseless
against cone of coldness.

301
00:21:06,340 --> 00:21:07,890
I'm freezing... What?

302
00:21:09,100 --> 00:21:10,890
Bender, no.

303
00:21:11,310 --> 00:21:14,270
When will young people learn that
Dungeons & Dragons

304
00:21:14,350 --> 00:21:15,940
won't make you cool?

305
00:21:16,020 --> 00:21:18,270
Relax, Fry. I'm a doctor.

306
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:21,520
I'm sure the robot
will be just fine with a little help.

307
00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:24,650
Help, help.

308
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,610
Help!

309
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:41,840
Please, send in the patient.

310
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:43,000
Yes, Doctor.

311
00:21:46,590 --> 00:21:52,890
So, Bender, I understand you're having
trouble separating fantasy from reality.

312
00:21:52,970 --> 00:21:55,100
Says who? Was it the bugbear?

313
00:21:55,180 --> 00:21:58,140
-Is he talking about me again?
-I understand.

314
00:21:58,230 --> 00:21:59,650
Commence therapy.

315
00:22:02,900 --> 00:22:04,980
Tell me about your feelings.

316
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:09,490
Poor Bender.

317
00:22:09,570 --> 00:22:12,120
Says here to tell his friends he's at a spa.

318
00:22:12,450 --> 00:22:14,740
-So what happened to Bender?
-He's at a spa.

319
00:22:14,830 --> 00:22:17,330
Wow, there's a spa in the nut house?

320
00:22:17,410 --> 00:22:21,630
Friends, friends, stop everything.
There's food in this shaker.

321
00:22:25,550 --> 00:22:26,550
Ow!

322
00:22:26,630 --> 00:22:30,050
Enough already!
Can you please remove this anger collar?

323
00:22:30,140 --> 00:22:32,890
-Are you still angry?
-No. Ow!

324
00:22:32,970 --> 00:22:34,510
It also shocks you when you lie.

325
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:37,020
Quiet, everyone. The network news is on.

326
00:22:37,100 --> 00:22:41,810
And if I, a 165-year-old man,
don't watch it, who will?

327
00:22:42,060 --> 00:22:45,440
Thankfully, the amazing talking horse
was rescued

328
00:22:45,530 --> 00:22:48,030
and safely returned
to the meat department.

329
00:22:50,910 --> 00:22:53,490
Turning to the less stupid portion
of our broadcast,

330
00:22:53,580 --> 00:22:58,200
fuel prices hit an all-time high today
due to the ongoing dark matter shortage.

331
00:22:58,290 --> 00:23:01,670
Earlier, our own Morbo
sat down with Mom,

332
00:23:01,750 --> 00:23:05,670
CEO of Mom's Friendly
Multinational Energy Conglomerate.

333
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:18,470
Oh! Hello, Morbo the Annihilator, here,

334
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:22,560
sitting down to a delightful tea
in this fake living room set.

335
00:23:22,940 --> 00:23:24,650
Thank you for joining us, Mom.

336
00:23:24,730 --> 00:23:26,900
My pleasure, sugarplum.

337
00:23:27,070 --> 00:23:30,440
Mom, you control the world's
only dark matter mine.

338
00:23:30,820 --> 00:23:33,450
Tell us, why are fuel prices so high?

339
00:23:33,530 --> 00:23:35,450
Oh! It's terrible, isn't it?

340
00:23:35,830 --> 00:23:38,740
Dark matter is just so rare nowadays,

341
00:23:38,830 --> 00:23:42,580
but we'll keep pinching loaf after loaf
from the bowels of the earth,

342
00:23:42,670 --> 00:23:45,380
even if I lose money on every log.

343
00:23:45,500 --> 00:23:50,710
If you are losing money, how did you
post record profits last quarter?

344
00:23:52,300 --> 00:23:56,640
You look thin, care for one of my
famous pecan clusters?

345
00:23:58,220 --> 00:24:02,180
Morbo shouldn't. It will go straight
to Morbo's gargantuan forehead.

346
00:24:02,730 --> 00:24:06,480
Oh, what the heck? I guess I could destroy
one or two of them.

347
00:24:08,690 --> 00:24:11,780
Do people care enough to drill
for dark matter

348
00:24:11,860 --> 00:24:14,860
even in an Alaskan wildlife refuge?

349
00:24:15,370 --> 00:24:16,490
People do.

350
00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:21,160
Greedy old hag, taste the wrath
of my fuzzy slipper.

351
00:24:23,540 --> 00:24:27,670
Professor, why are you so hot and dusty
over this dark matter shortage?

352
00:24:29,050 --> 00:24:34,840
I bet you'd like to know.
I bet you'd like to know, indeed.

353
00:25:05,120 --> 00:25:07,500
Hello, Mother. How did the interview go?

354
00:25:07,580 --> 00:25:10,500
It made me want to puke my face off.

355
00:25:10,670 --> 00:25:12,800
-Where's my Thigh Blaster?
-Right here, Mom.

356
00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:14,880
-Shut up!
-Okay, thank you.

357
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:18,010
Burn, you damn thighs. Burn!

358
00:25:18,510 --> 00:25:22,010
Mommy, are you upset
'cause of the dark matter shortage?

359
00:25:22,100 --> 00:25:24,770
There is no shortage,
you moronic ass-brain!

360
00:25:24,850 --> 00:25:26,270
There's not? But you said...

361
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:32,820
Allow me to explain. Suppose this hand
represents current reserves of dark matter

362
00:25:32,900 --> 00:25:35,530
and this hand represents
consumer demand.

363
00:25:35,900 --> 00:25:37,240
Uh-huh.

364
00:25:42,910 --> 00:25:45,830
I just bet you'd like to know
why I'm so angry

365
00:25:45,910 --> 00:25:47,790
about this dark matter shortage.

366
00:25:47,870 --> 00:25:50,420
I bet very much you'd like to know.

367
00:25:50,500 --> 00:25:52,630
You're right, Professor.
We would like to know.

368
00:25:52,710 --> 00:25:55,970
Really? I didn't think anyone
was interested.

369
00:25:56,590 --> 00:26:00,140
It all started 30-odd years ago.

370
00:26:01,010 --> 00:26:04,470
l was working in Mom's laboratories
for the third time

371
00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:07,730
after twice before realizing
how evil she was

372
00:26:07,850 --> 00:26:10,270
and vowing never to work for her again.

373
00:26:11,820 --> 00:26:16,570
But somehow the rich,
wrong stench of her boney charms

374
00:26:16,650 --> 00:26:18,650
kept calling me back.

375
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:23,240
Don't stop, Professor. I'm getting aroused.

376
00:26:23,330 --> 00:26:28,000
Back in those days, dark matter
was just a worthless inert curiosity,

377
00:26:28,330 --> 00:26:31,080
and l was smashing it
in a particle accelerator,

378
00:26:31,170 --> 00:26:36,340
in an ill-conceived attempt
to create a more durable harpsichord wax.

379
00:26:37,010 --> 00:26:40,930
But, as Deepak Chopra taught us,
quantum physics means

380
00:26:41,010 --> 00:26:44,350
anything can happen at any time
for no reason.

381
00:26:44,470 --> 00:26:46,430
Also, eat plenty of oatmeal,

382
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:48,730
and animals never had a war.

383
00:26:48,810 --> 00:26:50,690
Who's the real animals?

384
00:26:51,900 --> 00:26:57,570
And thus against all probabilities,
it happened.

385
00:27:06,540 --> 00:27:07,540
Dang!

386
00:27:07,620 --> 00:27:11,790
l'm sure l don't need to explain
that all dark matter in the universe

387
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:15,880
is linked in the form
of a single non-local meta-particle.

388
00:27:17,130 --> 00:27:18,630
Stop patronizing us.

389
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:23,300
So, in one instant, I had transformed
all dark matter everywhere

390
00:27:23,390 --> 00:27:25,720
into a new crystalline form...

391
00:27:26,060 --> 00:27:29,810
...making it the most potent fuel
since primitive man first ignited

392
00:27:29,890 --> 00:27:32,560
mastodon flatulence to heat his cave.

393
00:27:32,650 --> 00:27:36,570
I'm intrigued, Hubert.
You have my undivided attention.

394
00:27:45,120 --> 00:27:47,910
Shut up, you milk-sucking leeches!

395
00:27:48,910 --> 00:27:50,660
A new super fuel, eh?

396
00:27:50,750 --> 00:27:52,750
-We're rich.
-Indeed, we are.

397
00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:55,380
Not you, we. Us, we.

398
00:27:56,420 --> 00:27:58,880
I'm getting back together
with my ex-husband.

399
00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:00,510
Wernstrom!

400
00:28:03,300 --> 00:28:05,550
You've been played, Farnsworth.

401
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:07,640
Played like a cheap harpsichord.

402
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:10,520
Walt, fire that employee
like Mommy taught you.

403
00:28:18,860 --> 00:28:21,400
Professor, maybe I can help you
get even with Mom.

404
00:28:21,490 --> 00:28:25,200
I spend most of my time thinking about
how to get revenge on a bad boss.

405
00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:26,620
-Me, too.
-Likewise.

406
00:28:26,700 --> 00:28:28,490
I made a blinding powder.

407
00:28:28,580 --> 00:28:30,950
Thanks, but that won't be necessary

408
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:33,460
because I have the ultimate weapon.

409
00:28:34,460 --> 00:28:38,340
You see, in the instant
the energy crystal was created,

410
00:28:38,420 --> 00:28:40,840
there also came into being
an opposite crystal

411
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:43,380
made of pure anti-backwards energy.

412
00:28:44,300 --> 00:28:45,880
-Wow!
-Wow!

413
00:28:45,970 --> 00:28:47,890
-So?
-So, this!

414
00:28:47,970 --> 00:28:49,850
If ever the two crystals should meet,

415
00:28:49,930 --> 00:28:53,680
their wave functions would collapse
like Raymond Burr's trampoline,

416
00:28:53,770 --> 00:28:58,230
once again rendering all dark matter
inert and useless as fuel.

417
00:28:58,310 --> 00:28:59,690
But then we'll have no fuel.

418
00:28:59,770 --> 00:29:04,110
But once we free society
from dependence on Mom's dark matter,

419
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:08,780
scientists will finally care enough
to develop cleaner, alternative fuels.

420
00:29:08,870 --> 00:29:10,530
Scientists like you?

421
00:29:10,620 --> 00:29:15,000
No, not me.
I'm too busy developing makeup for dogs.

422
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:16,830
That's where the money is.

423
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,750
This is our chance to teach Mom a lesson.
Come on!

424
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:24,210
Let's take the anti-crystal
and shove it up Mom's regular crystal.

425
00:29:24,300 --> 00:29:25,920
-Yeah.
-Fight the power!

426
00:29:26,630 --> 00:29:30,350
There's just one, small problem,
and it's a big one.

427
00:29:30,430 --> 00:29:33,270
I hid the crystal
and I can't remember where.

428
00:29:33,350 --> 00:29:36,640
Well, surely it's just a matter of waiting
till you next move your bowels

429
00:29:36,730 --> 00:29:40,440
-and then using a potato masher...
-Don't you think I already tried that?

430
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:44,190
No. I'm afraid, the crystal is lost forever.

431
00:29:46,530 --> 00:29:49,200
Nine? You did it.
You outwitted the fungus.

432
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:51,450
Who needs girls?

433
00:29:53,700 --> 00:29:58,040
Since you have all proven resistant
to individualized hammer therapy,

434
00:29:58,170 --> 00:30:01,210
I now prescribe group therapy.

435
00:30:07,550 --> 00:30:09,550
Everything must be clean, very clean.

436
00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:12,810
That's why the dog had to die.
He was a dirty dog. Dirty, dirty.

437
00:30:12,890 --> 00:30:15,430
Also, that boy, Elroy. Dirty, dirty.

438
00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:18,440
Who would like to share their feelings?

439
00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:20,980
-l feel unappreciated at work.
-What?

440
00:30:21,060 --> 00:30:23,860
-I can barely understand you.
-l said l feel...

441
00:30:23,940 --> 00:30:25,480
Change places.

442
00:30:28,110 --> 00:30:32,950
Well, well. Looks like old Roberto
is the focus of attention now.

443
00:30:33,540 --> 00:30:34,990
Stop looking at me.

444
00:30:37,830 --> 00:30:39,540
Calm down, Roberto.

445
00:30:39,620 --> 00:30:41,750
Tell us about your childhood.

446
00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:45,050
I was designed by a team of engineers
attempting to build

447
00:30:45,130 --> 00:30:48,880
an insane robot. But it seems they failed.

448
00:30:49,630 --> 00:30:51,180
Actually...

449
00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:57,680
Look, we have to accept the fact
that we all have a serious problem.

450
00:30:57,770 --> 00:31:01,230
And if we ever wanna get out of here,
the first step is to admit it.

451
00:31:01,310 --> 00:31:02,400
-Amen.
-Good, Bender.

452
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:03,520
-That's right.
-Yes.

453
00:31:03,610 --> 00:31:05,940
There's a band of river trolls
living in the moat,

454
00:31:06,030 --> 00:31:08,690
and they may have no intention
of letting us out of this castle,

455
00:31:08,780 --> 00:31:12,570
unless we hand over
the Golden Scepter of Zanthor.

456
00:31:12,660 --> 00:31:14,780
Say what? Dude's crazy.

457
00:31:14,870 --> 00:31:18,500
-Bender, please, try to...
-I know not of this Bender.

458
00:31:18,580 --> 00:31:20,540
I am Titanius Inglesmith,

459
00:31:20,620 --> 00:31:22,250
fancy man of Cornwood.

460
00:31:22,330 --> 00:31:25,040
You are suffering a breakdown. Now stop.

461
00:31:25,130 --> 00:31:26,250
Hammer time.

462
00:31:29,420 --> 00:31:33,970
I'm in your seat.
I forgot we had changed places.

463
00:31:34,050 --> 00:31:35,600
Change places.

464
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:41,230
Good news, everyone!

465
00:31:41,310 --> 00:31:44,230
-You perfected dog mascara?
-Far from it.

466
00:31:44,310 --> 00:31:46,650
If you ask me, they look like
a bunch of hookers.

467
00:31:46,730 --> 00:31:50,900
But what I have invented is a means
of locating the missing crystal.

468
00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:56,580
When I push this button, the crystal
will emit a high-frequency stink.

469
00:31:56,660 --> 00:31:57,830
Hurray!

470
00:31:58,700 --> 00:32:02,330
There. Now, with any luck
I'll detect it with my smelling aid.

471
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:09,880
I just pray to all powerful Atheismo
that we find it before Mom does.

472
00:32:10,300 --> 00:32:13,090
-Do you smell the crystal, Professor?
-No, damn it!

473
00:32:13,180 --> 00:32:16,600
Just the alluring scent of Obsession
for spaniels.

474
00:32:23,310 --> 00:32:27,440
-Dude. Who whipped an egger?
-He who smelled it, dealt it.

475
00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:30,190
Yeah? Well, he who denied it, supplied it.

476
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:33,570
Well, he who articulated it, particulated it.

477
00:32:33,660 --> 00:32:36,070
Well, he who refuted it, tooted it.

478
00:32:37,700 --> 00:32:39,030
Stalemate.

479
00:32:41,830 --> 00:32:44,960
Jesus craps. The anti-backwards crystal.

480
00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:46,040
Ow!

481
00:32:46,710 --> 00:32:49,630
-Sorry?
-Relax, it's not your fault.

482
00:32:49,710 --> 00:32:51,710
I can't believe it still exists.

483
00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:53,970
Google the hell out of that skanker.

484
00:32:58,350 --> 00:33:00,430
Planet-sucking-Express?

485
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:03,350
Of course.
How could I have been so dumb?

486
00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:05,690
With that crystal,

487
00:33:05,770 --> 00:33:09,310
Farnsworth could completely destroy
my dark matter empire.

488
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:13,780
I underestimated that sagging
old bag of bones and gonads.

489
00:33:13,860 --> 00:33:16,450
-Is that man bad?
-Very bad, Igner.

490
00:33:16,660 --> 00:33:20,030
And that's why I need you three to go
steal the anti-crystal away from him.

491
00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:23,870
But be careful.
You'll need all your stoogely cunning.

492
00:33:31,090 --> 00:33:33,340
-Exterminators.
-Oh, great.

493
00:33:33,420 --> 00:33:36,130
What do we got?
Wall gophers? Toilet snails?

494
00:33:36,220 --> 00:33:39,180
No, I'm afraid you've got owls.
Over there, see?

495
00:33:40,930 --> 00:33:41,930
Ow!

496
00:33:42,020 --> 00:33:43,770
Dump the bag, you nitwit.

497
00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:46,520
-Hey, watch it.
-Quiet, you.

498
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:47,600
Ow!

499
00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:50,940
I was looking over there for a long time
but I didn't see any...

500
00:33:51,020 --> 00:33:54,230
Oh, there they are. Gross.

501
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:57,530
We've got to act fast.
Larry, get out the geigersniffer.

502
00:33:57,610 --> 00:34:00,450
I don't know, Walt.
You're just gonna hit me with it.

503
00:34:00,530 --> 00:34:02,700
No. I'm going to hit you with this.

504
00:34:07,670 --> 00:34:11,210
-Those three exterminators are hilarious.
-Really?

505
00:34:11,290 --> 00:34:13,340
-I don't think so.
-Me, neither.

506
00:34:13,420 --> 00:34:15,710
Now, Sex and the City, that's funny.

507
00:34:16,630 --> 00:34:20,930
After wandering aimlessly
in the swamp, you suddenly...

508
00:34:21,010 --> 00:34:23,220
Wander aimlessly in the swamp.

509
00:34:28,230 --> 00:34:29,980
There it is.

510
00:34:31,150 --> 00:34:34,650
Excuse you.
As you apparently didn't notice,

511
00:34:34,730 --> 00:34:37,820
we're trying to traverse
the Quagmire of Slogdonia.

512
00:34:37,900 --> 00:34:41,240
I'm sorry, little boy.
You see, we're owl exterminators.

513
00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:42,700
We are owl...

514
00:34:42,780 --> 00:34:44,200
Ow!

515
00:34:44,450 --> 00:34:47,700
And what we have here is an owl egg

516
00:34:47,790 --> 00:34:50,920
that's about to hatch into an owl larva.

517
00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:53,090
So, if you don't mind,
we'll just take this and...

518
00:34:53,170 --> 00:34:55,380
What are you, stupid?

519
00:34:55,460 --> 00:34:59,760
That's a dodecahedral crystal I found
hidden in the downstairs walrus tank.

520
00:34:59,840 --> 00:35:02,590
And I wrote numbers on it
so we could use it as a D12.

521
00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:04,300
'Cause I have the best handwriting.

522
00:35:04,390 --> 00:35:05,760
-Do not.
-Do too.

523
00:35:05,850 --> 00:35:07,270
-Do not.
-Do too.

524
00:35:08,430 --> 00:35:10,270
You win this round.

525
00:35:10,350 --> 00:35:11,940
What's going on here?

526
00:35:12,020 --> 00:35:14,360
We're owl exterminators.

527
00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:18,900
Then you won't have any problem
exterminating this owl.

528
00:35:29,540 --> 00:35:30,710
Please!

529
00:35:36,340 --> 00:35:38,380
My anti-backwards crystal.

530
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:41,420
So it's you three.

531
00:35:41,510 --> 00:35:45,680
I should have known Mom would send
her brainless brood to do her dirty work.

532
00:35:46,470 --> 00:35:49,310
-Walt, the leader among imbeciles.
-Hey!

533
00:35:49,390 --> 00:35:51,180
They resent that.

534
00:35:51,270 --> 00:35:54,150
Larry, the sniveling middle child.

535
00:35:54,230 --> 00:35:55,650
Sorry. Thank you.

536
00:35:56,730 --> 00:36:01,400
And you, Igner. The evil I could tolerate,
but the stupidity...

537
00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:06,660
-We're owl exterminators.
-Good God.

538
00:36:06,740 --> 00:36:09,740
Just knowing we're in the same genus
makes me embarrassed

539
00:36:09,830 --> 00:36:11,660
to call myself homo.

540
00:36:13,170 --> 00:36:17,040
Now, get out and tell Mom
thanks for the crystal.

541
00:36:25,010 --> 00:36:26,640
Thanks for the crystal.

542
00:36:34,690 --> 00:36:36,150
There. The repairs are complete.

543
00:36:37,270 --> 00:36:38,400
Let's go, already.

544
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:42,190
We've got to infiltrate
Mom's dark matter mine, now.

545
00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:44,110
How do you start this thing?

546
00:36:45,910 --> 00:36:48,910
Good lord, woman.
Can you move any slower?

547
00:36:49,490 --> 00:36:52,200
Rake up some dark matter
and top off the tank.

548
00:36:52,290 --> 00:36:55,540
Well, there isn't any dark matter.
Nibbler hasn't pooped at all.

549
00:36:55,630 --> 00:36:58,380
And he ate a whole family
of koalas last night.

550
00:36:58,460 --> 00:37:01,590
Nibbler! Nibbler!

551
00:37:01,670 --> 00:37:05,880
I'm not interested in the whereabouts
of your cutesy-fruitsy space rat.

552
00:37:05,970 --> 00:37:08,470
The only thing that matters right now
is this crystal.

553
00:37:08,550 --> 00:37:09,550
Ow!

554
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:11,810
And be careful with that crystal.

555
00:37:23,820 --> 00:37:25,280
Death to ogres!

556
00:37:26,490 --> 00:37:29,570
Even relaxation therapy has failed.

557
00:37:31,910 --> 00:37:34,000
Diagnosis, insanity.

558
00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:36,920
Nurse, schedule a robotomy for Bender.

559
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:39,580
Yes, Doctor.
I'll get the tools from the shed.

560
00:37:39,670 --> 00:37:44,010
It's a very painful procedure.
So until then, just try to relax.

561
00:38:08,410 --> 00:38:11,660
-What are you laughing at?
-Your laugh.

562
00:38:11,740 --> 00:38:15,120
-It's just so infectious.
-So's herpes. Now, shut up!

563
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:17,540
You and Walt,
lead the killbots to the surface

564
00:38:17,620 --> 00:38:19,960
and blow Farnsworth out of the sky.

565
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:21,130
What about Igner?

566
00:38:21,210 --> 00:38:22,380
That hairless ape?

567
00:38:22,460 --> 00:38:27,340
I swear. When he came out, I flipped a coin
whether to keep him or the after-birth.

568
00:38:27,430 --> 00:38:30,510
Yes, Mother.
You told that story at his graduation.

569
00:38:30,590 --> 00:38:33,140
I'm afraid he can't be trusted
on this mission.

570
00:38:33,220 --> 00:38:37,640
You see, there is a terrible secret
about Igner I've never told anyone.

571
00:38:37,730 --> 00:38:39,190
And here it is.

572
00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:03,750
-Continue returning fire.
-What?

573
00:39:05,340 --> 00:39:08,590
-What did they say?
-I don't know. I can't hear a thing.

574
00:39:08,670 --> 00:39:10,800
Hey, what's everybody talking about?

575
00:39:27,030 --> 00:39:28,860
Mayday! Mayday!

576
00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:32,780
Oh, God. l cannot believe
this is the best plan l could come up with.

577
00:39:43,750 --> 00:39:45,790
We weren't actually in the ship.

578
00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:53,050
Okay, team, these red-hot,
razor-sharp fans

579
00:39:53,140 --> 00:39:55,300
are the only safe way into the mine.

580
00:39:55,970 --> 00:39:57,140
Ladies first.

581
00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:06,560
Whew! That blade missed me
by the skin of my pants.

582
00:40:16,580 --> 00:40:19,040
-Maintenance shaft 7 serving...
-Shut your mouth.

583
00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:21,200
I'm just talking about the shaft.

584
00:40:24,670 --> 00:40:28,590
-Jeez. Doesn't that shock collar hurt?
-Actually, feels kind of good.

585
00:40:28,670 --> 00:40:32,590
I guess I'm starting to associate it
with the pleasure of beating people up.

586
00:40:51,070 --> 00:40:52,490
We shot them down, Mother.

587
00:40:52,570 --> 00:40:55,200
The intruders never even got to Sector 1.

588
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:58,700
lntruders in Sector 15
lntruders in Sector 15.

589
00:40:58,780 --> 00:40:59,780
Ugh...

590
00:40:59,870 --> 00:41:03,290
Sometimes I don't know why
I even bother to slap you.

591
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:09,380
-All killbots to Sector 15
-What did she say?

592
00:41:09,460 --> 00:41:10,880
What did you say?

593
00:41:21,020 --> 00:41:23,810
There are so many killbots behind us,
I can't count them all.

594
00:41:23,890 --> 00:41:25,600
Three, I think.

595
00:41:28,940 --> 00:41:30,230
We're trapped.

596
00:41:30,730 --> 00:41:32,820
The main pit must be in here.

597
00:41:32,900 --> 00:41:35,860
I'm detecting vast quantities
of dark matter.

598
00:41:35,950 --> 00:41:38,570
Step aside turkey-neck.
I think I know the code.

599
00:41:43,250 --> 00:41:45,830
We're in. We're in the heart of the mine.

600
00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:48,540
The very source of all Mom's wealth and...

601
00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:07,270
My God! This isn't a crap mine.

602
00:42:07,350 --> 00:42:08,730
It's a crap farm.

603
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:13,270
Is there really so much of a distinction?

604
00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:15,440
-I mean...
-Leela, it's me, Nibbler.

605
00:42:16,650 --> 00:42:20,530
Oh, my God, you look horrible, Nibbler.
I think I'm going to vomit.

606
00:42:20,620 --> 00:42:21,910
Nibbler is over there.

607
00:42:21,990 --> 00:42:24,790
Oh, sorry. Nibbler.

608
00:42:24,790 --> 00:42:25,250
Oh, sorry. Nibbler.

609
00:42:25,330 --> 00:42:28,040
Oh, my poor little snuzzy-wuzzams.

610
00:42:28,120 --> 00:42:30,040
Are they treating you okay?

611
00:42:30,130 --> 00:42:33,630
No, they are force-feeding us
so we poop more dark matter.

612
00:42:33,710 --> 00:42:34,710
It's horrible.

613
00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:43,850
Those are good.

614
00:42:43,930 --> 00:42:45,220
You've got to help us.

615
00:42:45,310 --> 00:42:47,390
-Help us!
-Help us, for God's sakes!

616
00:42:52,570 --> 00:42:56,990
-Nibbler made a bo-bo.
-Yes, but not on my terms.

617
00:42:57,070 --> 00:43:01,410
I will not be treated like...
Hey, wait, aren't you amazed I can speak?

618
00:43:01,490 --> 00:43:05,330
Well, actually, no. You forgot to blank
our memories after you spoke last time.

619
00:43:05,410 --> 00:43:07,580
You mean you've known I was sentient?

620
00:43:07,660 --> 00:43:11,290
Then why did you let me eat Friskies
and make bo-bo in a litter box?

621
00:43:11,380 --> 00:43:14,380
-Well, you're cuter that way.
-Cute as a baby's buttocks.

622
00:43:14,460 --> 00:43:17,590
So what happened?
How did Mom capture all you Nibblonians?

623
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:25,430
It all began 36 years ago... Now!
On the planet Virgon 6...

624
00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:28,350
It was a veritabIe Eden,

625
00:43:28,430 --> 00:43:31,270
brimming with unique
and irreplaceable species.

626
00:43:32,610 --> 00:43:36,110
Most of which were delicious

627
00:43:36,190 --> 00:43:40,030
l was supreme fuzzler
of a Nibblonian scientific outpost.

628
00:43:40,110 --> 00:43:43,820
lt was paradise, until they came.

629
00:43:50,660 --> 00:43:52,920
One of your DOOP ships
struck dark matter,

630
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:55,630
little realizing it was not a natural deposit,

631
00:43:55,710 --> 00:43:58,920
but rather centuries
of Nibblonian fecal material

632
00:43:59,010 --> 00:44:03,010
Wow, the big fecal enchilada.
Anyone else hungry?

633
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:09,180
The DOOP contracted
a ruthless businesswoman

634
00:44:09,270 --> 00:44:11,430
to spearhead the mining operation.

635
00:44:11,690 --> 00:44:14,730
-Let me guess. Mom?
-The very same.

636
00:44:14,810 --> 00:44:15,980
Can I also guess Mom?

637
00:44:17,730 --> 00:44:20,860
To reduce cost
she started a new enterprise,

638
00:44:20,940 --> 00:44:22,490
Mom's Friendly Robots,

639
00:44:22,570 --> 00:44:24,610
to build robot slaves

640
00:44:24,700 --> 00:44:28,030
Remember this was back in the days
before Robot Lincoln.

641
00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:30,660
-Faster, faster!
-I'm going exactly

642
00:44:30,750 --> 00:44:33,790
-as fast as you built me to go.
-Wise guy, huh?

643
00:44:36,590 --> 00:44:37,590
Ow!

644
00:44:37,840 --> 00:44:41,380
Eventually, the planet was mined
down to a hollow shell

645
00:44:41,470 --> 00:44:44,090
and my people were forced to evacuate.

646
00:44:47,010 --> 00:44:50,930
Alas, l had eaten a day-old
swinosaur for lunch.

647
00:44:51,020 --> 00:44:56,100
And while doing some evacuating
of my own, l was left behind.

648
00:44:57,610 --> 00:44:59,770
So, that's where it comes from.

649
00:44:59,860 --> 00:45:03,610
We may have a whole new source
of dark matter on our hands.

650
00:45:03,740 --> 00:45:05,150
Ew!

651
00:45:09,330 --> 00:45:12,120
As it turned out, l was the lucky one.

652
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:15,830
Unbeknownst to me, Mom captured
my colleagues and enslaved them here

653
00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:18,460
in this crap farm.

654
00:45:21,550 --> 00:45:26,430
There's nothing to do but eat and crap,
eat and crap. It's like visiting my parents.

655
00:45:26,510 --> 00:45:31,430
As for me, l emerged
from behind the bush of many uses

656
00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:36,020
to find l had been left behind
I was doomed, doomed.

657
00:45:36,100 --> 00:45:37,230
Hello, there.

658
00:45:37,310 --> 00:45:40,820
Startled, my cuteness reflex kicked in.

659
00:45:44,490 --> 00:45:45,950
I'll call him Nibbler.

660
00:45:46,030 --> 00:45:48,780
A silly name
for a high-ranking fuzzler.

661
00:45:48,870 --> 00:45:52,120
But, hey, l was glad to be rescued.

662
00:45:56,290 --> 00:45:59,130
But then, how did you end up here
with the others?

663
00:45:59,210 --> 00:46:02,340
I was kidnapped yesterday
by Mom's vile sons,

664
00:46:02,420 --> 00:46:04,710
in their moronic disguises.

665
00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:07,180
I was an owl exterminator.

666
00:46:09,550 --> 00:46:14,310
-Do you have the crysal?
-It's pronounced "crystal," you lump.

667
00:46:15,930 --> 00:46:17,480
Go, run fast.

668
00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:28,740
Did you see anyone?

669
00:46:28,820 --> 00:46:31,530
-Me?
-Yes, you. You're the only one here.

670
00:46:31,620 --> 00:46:35,290
If I'm the only one here,
then how could I see anyone?

671
00:46:35,370 --> 00:46:37,370
-He's got a point, Walt.
-So does my knee.

672
00:46:43,500 --> 00:46:46,340
This wouldn't be so bad
if it weren't for the chickens.

673
00:46:51,890 --> 00:46:54,970
Don't worry, those clamps
are for my own protection.

674
00:46:55,060 --> 00:46:57,310
Do you know where you are, Bender?

675
00:46:57,390 --> 00:47:01,480
Sure do, I'm in the magical land of
Cornwood, frolicking with wenches.

676
00:47:01,560 --> 00:47:04,900
Close, you're in the loony bin
for a robotomy.

677
00:47:04,980 --> 00:47:09,200
I will begin by drilling through the eye
to access the frontal processor.

678
00:47:11,200 --> 00:47:15,620
-Can't you just use the access panel?
-Either way is fine.

679
00:47:15,700 --> 00:47:17,910
Does anyone else smell
burning dragon beak?

680
00:47:30,300 --> 00:47:35,100
Wherever you are, Farnsworth,
my boys will find you.

681
00:47:35,180 --> 00:47:36,350
They've eluded us, Mother.

682
00:47:36,430 --> 00:47:38,640
But rest assured,
we've already slapped each other,

683
00:47:38,730 --> 00:47:40,690
so there's no need to...

684
00:47:40,770 --> 00:47:44,020
You'll thank me some day
when you are slapping your own kids.

685
00:47:44,110 --> 00:47:46,150
I know Farnsworth's game.

686
00:47:46,230 --> 00:47:49,190
He is going to try to poke
his clammy old crystal

687
00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:52,660
-at my hot fiery crystal.
-Mom!

688
00:47:52,950 --> 00:47:56,030
If the crystals get within six inches
of each other... Wham!

689
00:47:56,120 --> 00:47:58,740
All my dark matter will be worthless.

690
00:48:08,710 --> 00:48:10,090
Get them!

691
00:48:13,930 --> 00:48:17,560
Keep going, Professor.
I'll take care of the ditz brothers.

692
00:48:22,900 --> 00:48:24,100
Ooh.

693
00:48:24,190 --> 00:48:27,190
-That feels good.
-Oh, for crying out...

694
00:48:33,070 --> 00:48:36,410
Oh, the freaking battery's dead.
Walt, where's the charger?

695
00:48:36,490 --> 00:48:38,950
In the hardware drawer, Mother.

696
00:48:41,830 --> 00:48:44,170
Damn tangled mess of wires.

697
00:48:44,250 --> 00:48:47,920
We're almost there.
The crystals are beginning to engorge.

698
00:49:06,060 --> 00:49:09,440
I can't quite reach.

699
00:49:10,030 --> 00:49:13,320
Fry, grab onto my easy-fit waistband.

700
00:49:17,370 --> 00:49:19,280
Just a few more inches.

701
00:49:19,370 --> 00:49:22,540
Come on, really wedgie it on in there.

702
00:49:27,540 --> 00:49:30,340
So, that's why they call me the Catman.

703
00:49:31,130 --> 00:49:33,170
Nobody move. I've found the charger.

704
00:49:34,420 --> 00:49:37,300
Hang on. I'm on it. Okay, there!

705
00:49:37,390 --> 00:49:39,050
Save us, Catman.

706
00:49:39,140 --> 00:49:42,260
It's over, Hubert.
Give me the anti-backwards crystal.

707
00:49:42,350 --> 00:49:43,560
Never!

708
00:49:51,730 --> 00:49:53,150
Oh, bravo.

709
00:49:53,240 --> 00:49:55,860
You're in a crap-harvesting factory, genius.

710
00:49:55,950 --> 00:49:58,110
Walt! Larry! Start harvesting.

711
00:49:59,410 --> 00:50:00,910
No!

712
00:50:05,540 --> 00:50:09,040
I will now delicately
jerk out your imagination,

713
00:50:09,130 --> 00:50:12,000
severing fantasy's grip
on your nerd-circuit.

714
00:50:15,170 --> 00:50:18,970
Cornwood!

715
00:50:21,140 --> 00:50:25,060
Illogical. Illogical. Computational overload.

716
00:50:25,140 --> 00:50:26,930
But, Doctor, I love you.

717
00:50:31,360 --> 00:50:32,730
Oh, what now?

718
00:50:48,540 --> 00:50:50,290
This is crazy. Ow!

719
00:50:50,790 --> 00:50:54,630
-What the... You okay, Leela?
-Yeah, I think so.

720
00:50:56,920 --> 00:50:59,180
Wait a second. Is there something
different about your hooves?

721
00:51:00,340 --> 00:51:03,180
Oh, Lord. I'm half-horse and half-naked.

722
00:51:03,260 --> 00:51:05,010
Where the hell are we, hell?

723
00:51:11,060 --> 00:51:14,070
-Bender?
-I know not of this Bender.

724
00:51:14,150 --> 00:51:19,610
I'm Titanius Inglesmith.
Welcome to Cornwood!

725
00:51:30,670 --> 00:51:33,380
Wretched peasants, put aside your cares

726
00:51:33,460 --> 00:51:37,760
and feast on the succulent flesh
of the roast munchkin!

727
00:51:40,380 --> 00:51:42,760
Care for a slice of scroto?

728
00:51:43,180 --> 00:51:46,260
-That's his name, right?
-'Tis also that, sir.

729
00:51:46,350 --> 00:51:49,930
We're honored this eve
by a visit from my friends of old,

730
00:51:50,020 --> 00:51:52,190
Frydo and Legola.

731
00:51:52,270 --> 00:51:55,110
So let the dwarves do their gay dance

732
00:51:55,190 --> 00:51:58,440
and let the gnomes
play their sissy piccolos.

733
00:52:04,070 --> 00:52:06,240
Dance! Dance, you little freaks.

734
00:52:07,370 --> 00:52:08,580
Faster.

735
00:52:09,620 --> 00:52:11,040
Faster!

736
00:52:14,750 --> 00:52:17,170
-My ankle!
-To the kitchen with him!

737
00:52:17,840 --> 00:52:19,800
Wait! Wait! Wait! I do impressions.

738
00:52:19,880 --> 00:52:21,800
Behold! The swamp hag.

739
00:52:21,880 --> 00:52:24,930
Get out of my swamp, you kids!

740
00:52:25,010 --> 00:52:26,640
Don't let him get too crispy.

741
00:52:28,890 --> 00:52:32,310
-Lord Inglesmith.
-You have ridden hard, noble squire.

742
00:52:32,390 --> 00:52:35,060
May I offer you a horn of ale
and a shank of dwarf?

743
00:52:35,150 --> 00:52:37,980
'Tis dire news, sire. Dark riders approach.

744
00:52:39,230 --> 00:52:41,490
You shall be handsomely rewarded,
sir knight.

745
00:52:41,570 --> 00:52:43,320
We ride at once!

746
00:52:46,700 --> 00:52:48,080
Oops!

747
00:52:49,870 --> 00:52:52,750
Frydo! Saddle up that trusty steed.

748
00:53:01,010 --> 00:53:03,720
What's happening?
And why am I enjoying it so much?

749
00:53:06,090 --> 00:53:07,510
Foul beast-bags!

750
00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:09,350
Meet thy doom!

751
00:53:14,770 --> 00:53:16,020
Follow me.

752
00:53:21,740 --> 00:53:25,450
-Damn thee, Ignus.
-Well, you said to follow you.

753
00:53:25,530 --> 00:53:27,410
Well, now I say follow this!

754
00:53:31,450 --> 00:53:34,830
-The die of power! He's rolling it.
-Oh, no!

755
00:53:36,960 --> 00:53:38,670
I'm back...

756
00:53:40,170 --> 00:53:41,630
Seven

757
00:53:45,050 --> 00:53:47,050
"Banish foes"? Cool.

758
00:53:47,140 --> 00:53:49,010
No! No!

759
00:53:54,640 --> 00:53:57,730
I got to say, I had no idea
the die of power was so powerful.

760
00:53:57,810 --> 00:53:59,770
Did you have any idea of...

761
00:54:00,020 --> 00:54:03,320
Get out of my swamp, you kids!

762
00:54:06,780 --> 00:54:09,910
I can't believe I'm saying this,
but that was really exciting.

763
00:54:09,990 --> 00:54:11,660
I've never felt so alive.

764
00:54:13,910 --> 00:54:16,790
What else can we slay?
Is that a hobbit over there?

765
00:54:16,870 --> 00:54:19,080
No, that's a hobo and a rabbit.

766
00:54:19,170 --> 00:54:21,000
But they're making a hobbit.

767
00:54:22,590 --> 00:54:26,420
Thank God, an outhouse.
I can't hold it in much longer.

768
00:54:26,510 --> 00:54:28,590
And by it, I mean my entrails.

769
00:54:28,680 --> 00:54:30,680
Hush! This be no outhouse,

770
00:54:30,760 --> 00:54:33,680
but the lair of the great wizard Grayfarn.

771
00:54:35,770 --> 00:54:38,600
-Who is it?
-'Tis I, Titanius.

772
00:54:38,690 --> 00:54:39,940
Just a moment.

773
00:54:41,900 --> 00:54:45,610
Methinks the wizard be casting
a powerful spell, indeed.

774
00:54:48,280 --> 00:54:50,030
Come in! Come in!

775
00:54:51,530 --> 00:54:52,700
Yes.

776
00:54:52,780 --> 00:54:55,950
'Tis a powerful object in both our worlds.

777
00:54:56,040 --> 00:54:58,460
If you failed to destroy it in yours,

778
00:54:58,540 --> 00:55:02,040
perhaps you were brought here
that you might have a second chance.

779
00:55:02,130 --> 00:55:05,630
-So, this land is real?
-Oh, dreadfully real.

780
00:55:05,710 --> 00:55:08,010
If you die here, you'll really be dead.

781
00:55:08,090 --> 00:55:11,720
But instead of science,
we believe in crazy hocus-pocus.

782
00:55:11,800 --> 00:55:14,430
-It's like Kansas.
-God help us.

783
00:55:15,890 --> 00:55:21,230
Cornwood's troubles began
hundreds or perhaps millions of years ago.

784
00:55:21,560 --> 00:55:24,900
Deep in the Geysers of Gygax,
Momon herself

785
00:55:24,980 --> 00:55:29,490
injection-molded the dice of power
from the living plastic.

786
00:55:33,740 --> 00:55:35,200
Damn, these are hot.

787
00:55:37,080 --> 00:55:39,040
In our universe she's called Mom.

788
00:55:39,120 --> 00:55:42,170
In your universe,
are you taught not to interrupt?

789
00:55:42,250 --> 00:55:43,330
Evidently not.

790
00:55:43,420 --> 00:55:46,340
Anyway, Momon spawned
three rotten sons,

791
00:55:46,420 --> 00:55:49,050
whom you've already had
the displeasure of meeting.

792
00:55:49,340 --> 00:55:54,430
Waltazar, Larius, and the dumbest of all,
the halfwit Ignus,

793
00:55:54,680 --> 00:55:58,350
bastard son of Momon
and the brainless He-demon.

794
00:55:58,980 --> 00:56:01,850
Curse you, Momon, queen of all that is evil

795
00:56:01,940 --> 00:56:03,850
and not very good in bed.

796
00:56:03,940 --> 00:56:06,690
And I'm not just saying that
because she dumped me.

797
00:56:09,110 --> 00:56:12,360
Yes, I was once her consort.

798
00:56:12,450 --> 00:56:17,370
l was blinded by love,
and later, scorpion venom.

799
00:56:17,450 --> 00:56:18,450
I'm blind!

800
00:56:18,790 --> 00:56:21,330
But Momon has one weakness.

801
00:56:21,410 --> 00:56:24,000
She put too much of her power into this.

802
00:56:24,080 --> 00:56:26,790
The generalissimo of dice.

803
00:56:26,880 --> 00:56:29,840
Yeah? Well, bite my shiny metal face.

804
00:56:33,640 --> 00:56:35,640
Don't be foolish, Titanius.

805
00:56:35,720 --> 00:56:38,390
If you had paid attention
in freshman alchemy,

806
00:56:38,470 --> 00:56:40,640
instead of frequenting the bawdyhouse,

807
00:56:40,730 --> 00:56:43,480
you'd know
there's only one way to destroy it.

808
00:56:43,650 --> 00:56:46,980
In the boiling plastic
from which it was molded.

809
00:56:47,070 --> 00:56:49,820
Like that machine
that makes wax lions at the zoo.

810
00:56:49,900 --> 00:56:50,900
Quiet, you.

811
00:56:50,990 --> 00:56:54,490
We must infiltrate the Geysers of Gygax,

812
00:56:54,570 --> 00:56:57,490
the impenetrable stronghold of Momon.

813
00:56:59,700 --> 00:57:02,450
Impossible. Impossible, I say.

814
00:57:02,540 --> 00:57:06,380
No, Titanius.
For we maintain one advantage,

815
00:57:06,460 --> 00:57:09,210
the element of surprise.

816
00:57:31,530 --> 00:57:34,110
Verily, our quest has begun.

817
00:57:34,200 --> 00:57:35,280
Stop right there.

818
00:57:36,610 --> 00:57:37,780
Hermes?

819
00:57:39,160 --> 00:57:43,120
-He's a centaur like me.
-You wish.

820
00:57:43,200 --> 00:57:47,370
I am Hermaphrodite,
most beautiful of centaurs.

821
00:57:47,460 --> 00:57:50,460
Gaze upon me and weep at my loveliness.

822
00:57:51,090 --> 00:57:52,960
Very well.

823
00:57:53,050 --> 00:57:54,720
Loveliest of centaurs,

824
00:57:54,800 --> 00:57:57,550
we seek to end Momon's reign of evil.

825
00:57:57,640 --> 00:58:00,140
Have you stout fighters at your command?

826
00:58:00,220 --> 00:58:02,720
One thousand archers of truest aim.

827
00:58:03,730 --> 00:58:04,730
Fire.

828
00:58:06,730 --> 00:58:09,020
Hey guys, I forgot I had this pumpkin.

829
00:58:11,940 --> 00:58:14,440
I knew it. My people are mighty warriors.

830
00:58:14,530 --> 00:58:18,820
Our enemies will be like Swiss cheese
with blood coming out of the holes.

831
00:58:20,530 --> 00:58:24,040
-We centaurs are creatures of peace.
-Oh, Lord.

832
00:58:24,120 --> 00:58:27,830
Violence is never justified.
We shall not join your quest.

833
00:58:27,920 --> 00:58:30,670
And furthermore,
if mayhem be your intent,

834
00:58:30,750 --> 00:58:32,710
you may not cross our lands.

835
00:58:32,800 --> 00:58:34,380
-Or what?
-Or...

836
00:58:34,960 --> 00:58:37,760
Uh... Mmm?

837
00:58:40,720 --> 00:58:42,220
You may pass.

838
00:58:53,070 --> 00:58:54,360
We're not there, we're here.

839
00:58:54,440 --> 00:58:55,730
-No, this way.
-I mean, here.

840
00:59:11,750 --> 00:59:14,210
Thank you, kindly, Treedledum.

841
00:59:14,300 --> 00:59:18,510
Okey-doke. Anything else I can do?

842
00:59:22,800 --> 00:59:25,640
You know who I'm gonna miss?
That tree guy.

843
00:59:32,190 --> 00:59:36,900
Bad news, fancy men.
Momon's guards stand watch at the pass.

844
00:59:36,990 --> 00:59:40,150
'Tis as if she somehow anticipated us.

845
00:59:40,240 --> 00:59:42,910
And so our quest comes to an end.

846
00:59:42,990 --> 00:59:45,490
I only regret not giving up sooner.

847
00:59:46,490 --> 00:59:50,290
Fret not, Titanius.
For we still have one hope,

848
00:59:50,370 --> 00:59:52,290
the Cave of Hopelessness.

849
00:59:54,130 --> 00:59:55,790
Let me know how that turns out.

850
01:00:00,260 --> 01:00:03,970
Halt. Are you on the list?
I'm not seeing you on the list.

851
01:00:04,050 --> 01:00:07,260
-I'll split this doofus in half.
-Wait. I got it.

852
01:00:07,600 --> 01:00:11,350
Yeah. My cousin's in the band.
The band of merry men.

853
01:00:12,020 --> 01:00:16,730
Please, we were already in there.
I just need to go back for my coat.

854
01:00:25,490 --> 01:00:30,160
I am Gynecaladriel,
queen of the water nymphos.

855
01:00:30,250 --> 01:00:32,750
All right. I'll split this doofus in half.

856
01:00:32,830 --> 01:00:37,210
Stand aside, and I will use my powers
to overwhelm the guard.

857
01:00:44,010 --> 01:00:47,180
-Behold, the deed is done.
-Ho!

858
01:00:53,390 --> 01:00:57,610
Mr. Wizard, why is this place
called the Cave of Hopelessness?

859
01:00:57,690 --> 01:00:59,150
Oh, fear not, lad.

860
01:00:59,230 --> 01:01:03,360
'Tis named for its discoverer,
Reginald Hopelessness...

861
01:01:03,450 --> 01:01:04,450
Whew!

862
01:01:04,530 --> 01:01:08,370
...the first man to be eaten alive
by the Tunneling Horror.

863
01:01:11,500 --> 01:01:13,540
What's that? The Tunneling Horror?

864
01:01:13,620 --> 01:01:15,790
No, it's morks.

865
01:01:15,880 --> 01:01:17,880
-Mork. Hey, listen.
-Nanu, nanu. Shazbot.

866
01:01:17,960 --> 01:01:21,880
-Oh, God, no. They're so aggravating.
-Oh, fantastic.

867
01:01:22,510 --> 01:01:23,510
Nanu, nanu.

868
01:01:23,800 --> 01:01:25,470
Reality, what a concept.

869
01:01:29,680 --> 01:01:30,970
Fantastic.

870
01:01:35,850 --> 01:01:36,850
Mindy, Mindy, Mindy.

871
01:01:36,940 --> 01:01:38,940
-Shut up! Shut up!
-Oh, fantastic.

872
01:01:39,070 --> 01:01:40,360
Oh, fantastic. Oh, wonderful.

873
01:01:40,440 --> 01:01:43,150
Maybe it'll go away
if we just don't laugh at it.

874
01:01:43,240 --> 01:01:44,950
It doesn't.

875
01:01:45,700 --> 01:01:46,700
Nanu, nanu.

876
01:01:49,870 --> 01:01:50,870
Shazbot.

877
01:01:52,620 --> 01:01:56,620
Well, at least we didn't have to face
the tunneling whatchimacallit.

878
01:01:56,710 --> 01:01:57,710
Uh-oh.

879
01:01:59,460 --> 01:02:02,590
Enough already with the banging
and the swashbuckling.

880
01:02:08,220 --> 01:02:11,140
Oh, I'm gonna enjoy killing you.

881
01:02:12,270 --> 01:02:14,980
Watch where you're shooting that thing.

882
01:02:15,640 --> 01:02:18,730
Again?
What, am I talking to myself over here?

883
01:02:18,810 --> 01:02:20,650
Mutilate!

884
01:02:22,190 --> 01:02:25,650
Okay. Now, I'm getting a little mad even.

885
01:02:34,330 --> 01:02:37,160
I'll kill you and eat your heart,
you abomination.

886
01:02:43,590 --> 01:02:45,090
Don't make me laugh.

887
01:02:45,170 --> 01:02:48,430
The very idea that removing only
one of my two hearts could...

888
01:02:48,510 --> 01:02:50,680
Hey, what are you doing down there?

889
01:02:52,010 --> 01:02:53,510
Now, I'm dead.

890
01:02:55,850 --> 01:02:58,230
Leela, it's over. You killed him enough.

891
01:02:58,310 --> 01:03:01,270
I'm not taking any chances
with the Tunneling Horror.

892
01:03:01,860 --> 01:03:06,280
What? I'm not the Tunneling Horror.
I hate that guy.

893
01:03:06,360 --> 01:03:09,610
Always with the tunneling.
Anyway, I'm dead.

894
01:03:10,200 --> 01:03:12,780
So, you're just an innocent monster.

895
01:03:12,870 --> 01:03:14,990
Oh, God. What have I done?

896
01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:19,000
Oh! There he goes again.

897
01:03:25,960 --> 01:03:27,460
The Tunneling Horror!

898
01:03:30,090 --> 01:03:31,840
Grayfarn, what do we do?

899
01:03:33,600 --> 01:03:34,890
Do about what?

900
01:03:39,890 --> 01:03:42,810
Why aren't you killing it, Leela?
You love killing.

901
01:03:42,900 --> 01:03:45,190
No, no more killing.

902
01:03:45,270 --> 01:03:49,530
Oh! So, suddenly, Miss Goody Four-shoes
over here doesn't kill anymore.

903
01:03:49,610 --> 01:03:51,450
She killed me not five minutes ago.

904
01:03:51,530 --> 01:03:53,700
-What am I? Chopped liver?
-Shut up.

905
01:03:54,490 --> 01:03:57,540
-Stop chopping my liver.
-You're on your own.

906
01:03:57,620 --> 01:04:00,460
I refuse to hurt another living thing.

907
01:04:06,750 --> 01:04:10,260
All right.
I may be weak and I may be small,

908
01:04:10,340 --> 01:04:13,550
but I don't see
how I can possibly destroy that monster.

909
01:04:13,640 --> 01:04:15,850
Guess I'll just
huck whatever's in my pockets at him.

910
01:04:15,930 --> 01:04:17,350
At least I can say I tried.

911
01:04:17,430 --> 01:04:18,890
Any time now.

912
01:04:23,940 --> 01:04:26,860
The die of power.
I forgot to remember to roll it.

913
01:04:32,860 --> 01:04:34,450
Three

914
01:04:36,910 --> 01:04:40,500
"Grow"? I don't see anything growing.
Everything is getting smaller.

915
01:04:43,960 --> 01:04:45,040
Ow.

916
01:04:45,130 --> 01:04:47,000
Wait a second. I'm big!

917
01:04:47,090 --> 01:04:50,460
In your face, everyone from middle school.
Especially, Jeremy.

918
01:05:03,850 --> 01:05:05,230
Wow, that was intense.

919
01:05:05,310 --> 01:05:08,320
-You guys got to try the die of power.
-I'll take a hit.

920
01:05:08,400 --> 01:05:10,650
Hands off the dodecalicious.

921
01:05:11,990 --> 01:05:15,740
Beware, Frydo. Don't be seduced.
Hang on a second.

922
01:05:18,080 --> 01:05:20,040
Resist the allure of the die.

923
01:05:20,120 --> 01:05:23,620
For to defeat Momon,
we must melt it in the super bombastic,

924
01:05:23,710 --> 01:05:26,330
bubbling plastic from whence it came.

925
01:05:30,130 --> 01:05:33,670
For to defeat Momon,
we must melt it in the super bombastic,

926
01:05:33,760 --> 01:05:36,380
bubbling plastic from whence it came.

927
01:05:36,680 --> 01:05:39,640
I send you to kill them
and they're not even maimed?

928
01:05:40,680 --> 01:05:44,520
That's what I get
for sending boys to do a mom's job.

929
01:05:44,600 --> 01:05:47,270
-Sorry, Mom.
-Sorry doesn't put heads on my table.

930
01:05:47,360 --> 01:05:49,480
Peaches.

931
01:05:49,570 --> 01:05:50,690
You're up.

932
01:05:56,110 --> 01:05:58,700
I like this part but I don't like...

933
01:06:05,460 --> 01:06:07,920
You are an able opponent, Hermaphrodite.

934
01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:10,040
But hear me well
when I posit that we must

935
01:06:10,130 --> 01:06:12,630
abhor violence in all its forms.

936
01:06:14,880 --> 01:06:17,130
I offer a dissenting opinion.

937
01:06:17,220 --> 01:06:18,220
Huh?

938
01:06:18,300 --> 01:06:21,600
For abhorring violence
is itself an act of violence

939
01:06:21,680 --> 01:06:24,140
and, therefore, to be abhorred.

940
01:06:29,190 --> 01:06:32,690
All bow before mighty Hermaphrodite.

941
01:06:33,360 --> 01:06:35,650
-Don't hurt me.
-I'm not here to hurt you.

942
01:06:35,740 --> 01:06:37,820
Or anything ever again.

943
01:06:37,910 --> 01:06:41,070
Please, teach me
the centaurs' ways of wimpiness.

944
01:06:41,160 --> 01:06:43,030
What do you offer in return?

945
01:06:46,910 --> 01:06:50,080
Chewy, Chewy, Chewy,
Chewy, Chewy, Chewy, Chewy

946
01:06:50,170 --> 01:06:54,130
Baby, always got a mouthful
of such sweet things to say

947
01:07:02,600 --> 01:07:03,970
Oh-ie little Chewy

948
01:07:04,060 --> 01:07:06,020
Don't know what you're doing to me

949
01:07:06,100 --> 01:07:09,140
But you're doing to me what l want you to

950
01:07:14,900 --> 01:07:19,030
Yes! We made it out
of that godforsaken cave.

951
01:07:19,110 --> 01:07:22,370
Now, what's the fastest way home?
Back through the cave?

952
01:07:22,450 --> 01:07:24,410
Ow! Ow!

953
01:07:30,420 --> 01:07:32,380
We're close now, my friends.

954
01:07:32,460 --> 01:07:37,340
So close, I can practically feel
the heat of the fiery molten plastic.

955
01:07:37,420 --> 01:07:40,380
-You're standing in the fire.
-Oh, my.

956
01:07:41,840 --> 01:07:46,060
Alas, our path is blocked
by Momon's army of evil.

957
01:07:46,140 --> 01:07:48,640
As well as her navy of moral dubiousness.

958
01:07:48,730 --> 01:07:49,890
Wait a second.

959
01:07:49,980 --> 01:07:52,560
Mayhaps we might
raise an army of our own.

960
01:07:52,650 --> 01:07:55,070
We're but
an hour's ride from Wipe Castle.

961
01:07:55,150 --> 01:07:57,230
Of course. Wipe Castle.

962
01:07:57,320 --> 01:08:01,530
And while we're there, we can get
some of those greasy little dwarf burgers.

963
01:08:01,660 --> 01:08:03,740
Ooh! I love those.

964
01:08:03,820 --> 01:08:06,240
You can eat like eight of them
without gaining any weight,

965
01:08:06,330 --> 01:08:07,870
because of all the diarrhea.

966
01:08:07,950 --> 01:08:10,290
Sleep deep, fair snoozles.

967
01:08:10,370 --> 01:08:13,500
At dawn, we ride for Wipe Castle.

968
01:08:17,000 --> 01:08:18,510
Quiet, Frydo.

969
01:08:25,680 --> 01:08:27,640
We've got them now.

970
01:08:27,720 --> 01:08:31,680
-Send all our forces against Wipe Castle.
-Right away, Mother.

971
01:08:31,770 --> 01:08:33,810
I'll just leave a small contingent behind
in case...

972
01:08:33,900 --> 01:08:37,980
-I said, everything. Peaches!
-I'm in the tub.

973
01:08:38,070 --> 01:08:41,110
Waltazar,
you and Larius shall lead the assault.

974
01:08:41,200 --> 01:08:42,360
What about Ignus?

975
01:08:42,450 --> 01:08:44,990
I'm afraid
he can't be trusted on this mission.

976
01:08:45,070 --> 01:08:47,910
You see, there is a terrible secret
about Ignus

977
01:08:47,990 --> 01:08:49,950
I've never told anyone.

978
01:08:50,040 --> 01:08:51,620
And here it is.

979
01:09:00,510 --> 01:09:03,220
It's a good day to be evil.

980
01:09:11,890 --> 01:09:14,440
Oh, put a towel on, for crap's sake.

981
01:09:22,570 --> 01:09:26,570
They all wants it.
They wants the dodecalicious.

982
01:09:26,660 --> 01:09:30,330
Tell you what,
you want to defend a magic artifact,

983
01:09:30,410 --> 01:09:32,450
and I mean, defend it good,

984
01:09:32,540 --> 01:09:35,330
then what you need is a top-quality knife.

985
01:09:35,420 --> 01:09:36,960
Me is listening.

986
01:09:37,080 --> 01:09:42,010
The Eviscerator is one of the finest,
if not the finest,

987
01:09:42,090 --> 01:09:44,510
tactical folder on the market today.

988
01:09:44,590 --> 01:09:50,100
We're talking 440 stainless,
quick release and... I don't believe this.

989
01:09:50,180 --> 01:09:53,060
Is this a stag horn handle at this price?

990
01:09:53,140 --> 01:09:56,140
-It is, yeah. It's a stag horn.
-At this price?

991
01:09:56,230 --> 01:09:58,480
You have got to be kidding me.

992
01:09:58,560 --> 01:10:01,270
That's got to be some kind of mistake,
right there.

993
01:10:01,360 --> 01:10:03,570
Now, you folks at home,
I know what you're thinking.

994
01:10:03,650 --> 01:10:06,200
You're thinking, that can't be stag horn.

995
01:10:06,280 --> 01:10:08,660
It's got to be the cheaper manticore horn.

996
01:10:08,740 --> 01:10:11,120
But, I've got the specs right here
and I'll tell you what,

997
01:10:11,200 --> 01:10:15,120
-this is the real deal.
-Unbelievable.

998
01:10:15,210 --> 01:10:17,370
It is unbelievable. That's exactly what it is.

999
01:10:17,460 --> 01:10:20,000
I mean, this is...
I have no words to describe this deal.

1000
01:10:20,090 --> 01:10:22,710
Honestly, have you ever seen
stag horn at this price?

1001
01:10:22,800 --> 01:10:25,550
No, no, I don't believe I ever have.

1002
01:10:25,630 --> 01:10:30,050
1101-1816 is the item number on this one.

1003
01:10:30,140 --> 01:10:32,390
You know what, we're gonna have to
put a clock on this deal, folks.

1004
01:10:32,470 --> 01:10:34,930
Two minutes. Can I get a clock
at two minutes up there?

1005
01:10:35,020 --> 01:10:36,020
Two minutes at most.

1006
01:10:36,140 --> 01:10:37,890
Honestly,
I'd be surprised if they last that long.

1007
01:10:37,980 --> 01:10:40,810
Oh, I'd be very surprised, shocked really.

1008
01:10:40,900 --> 01:10:43,070
Now, I know the lines are busy, people,

1009
01:10:43,150 --> 01:10:47,360
but keep dialing in if you want
a truly exceptional knife

1010
01:10:47,450 --> 01:10:50,070
to slice up your friends in their sleep.

1011
01:11:07,220 --> 01:11:09,590
He tried to murder me. He tried...

1012
01:11:09,680 --> 01:11:11,640
Oh, cool. Is that the stag horn?

1013
01:11:22,310 --> 01:11:26,940
Alas, Frydo's weakness
was no match for the die's strength.

1014
01:11:27,030 --> 01:11:30,450
We can only hope he forges on
alone to the Geysers.

1015
01:11:30,530 --> 01:11:32,530
I can hope my ass is made of ice-cream

1016
01:11:32,620 --> 01:11:34,910
but that don't make me
a hot fudge sundae.

1017
01:11:34,990 --> 01:11:38,160
As for us,
we must press on to Wipe Castle,

1018
01:11:38,250 --> 01:11:42,000
though the journey be long
and I fear I may not live to see it.

1019
01:11:42,080 --> 01:11:43,130
There it is!

1020
01:11:56,560 --> 01:11:58,220
They's following us's.

1021
01:11:58,310 --> 01:12:02,650
You know, you talk like that, it's gonna
cost you points at a job interview.

1022
01:12:02,730 --> 01:12:03,980
What does it wants?

1023
01:12:04,060 --> 01:12:06,860
First of all, I resent being called "it."

1024
01:12:06,940 --> 01:12:08,990
I prefer jerkhole or simply...

1025
01:12:10,150 --> 01:12:13,070
Second, I thought I could help you
destroy the die, maybe.

1026
01:12:13,240 --> 01:12:16,830
Yes, yes, please help me.
The die is tearing me apart.

1027
01:12:16,910 --> 01:12:18,540
No, it's not. We're having a nice time.

1028
01:12:18,620 --> 01:12:20,000
Shut up. You shut up.

1029
01:12:20,080 --> 01:12:21,830
S'all right? S'all right.

1030
01:12:21,920 --> 01:12:23,170
Help me!

1031
01:12:23,960 --> 01:12:27,130
Get out of my swamp, you kids!

1032
01:12:39,680 --> 01:12:42,020
Now, before your audience with the king,

1033
01:12:42,100 --> 01:12:44,650
there's a shocking fact
you best know about him.

1034
01:12:44,730 --> 01:12:47,230
Enough blabbety-blab! Open the doors.

1035
01:12:48,730 --> 01:12:50,230
What, ho?

1036
01:12:50,320 --> 01:12:53,570
We bring ill tidings, o fanciest of men.

1037
01:12:53,660 --> 01:12:56,030
Momon's reach nears the die of power.

1038
01:12:56,120 --> 01:12:59,790
And should she obtain it,
she will then have the entire basic set.

1039
01:12:59,870 --> 01:13:03,460
Rivers will run red with blood
and yellow with urine.

1040
01:13:03,540 --> 01:13:06,750
And a dog will be seen eating cat food
in the land.

1041
01:13:06,840 --> 01:13:10,960
Oh, great king,
your army is the last hope of Cornwood.

1042
01:13:11,050 --> 01:13:16,430
Let us join forces before the light of good
is extinguished forever.

1043
01:13:17,640 --> 01:13:19,060
You calling me crazy?

1044
01:13:19,140 --> 01:13:21,970
Just 'cause I've got a hotel in my foot
don't make me a...

1045
01:13:23,440 --> 01:13:26,100
-Pardon?
-Stop laughing at me, fried avocado.

1046
01:13:32,900 --> 01:13:36,910
Moving along then,
as the only nobleman present who's not...

1047
01:13:38,080 --> 01:13:41,990
I hereby place myself
in command of the royal army.

1048
01:13:42,080 --> 01:13:45,080
-What royal army would that be?
-What?

1049
01:13:45,170 --> 01:13:47,580
King went insane
and declared war on the scallops.

1050
01:13:47,670 --> 01:13:50,340
Tied his army to a boulder
and pushed them into the sea.

1051
01:13:50,420 --> 01:13:51,880
They never returned.

1052
01:13:51,960 --> 01:13:53,760
Scallops must've got them.

1053
01:13:53,840 --> 01:13:56,930
Oh, well. There'll be no epic battle today.

1054
01:14:00,890 --> 01:14:02,890
Methinks we be boned.

1055
01:14:08,860 --> 01:14:09,900
Where's their army?

1056
01:14:09,980 --> 01:14:12,690
Maybe they didn't hear the horn.
Blow it again.

1057
01:14:17,280 --> 01:14:19,740
Man, I'll show that cat how to blow.

1058
01:14:33,170 --> 01:14:38,590
All right. On three. One, two, three.

1059
01:14:40,600 --> 01:14:42,930
Oil in the murder hole.

1060
01:14:45,350 --> 01:14:48,440
What are they pouring
through the murder hole? Hot oil?

1061
01:14:48,520 --> 01:14:50,650
Yeah, I think it might be hot oil.

1062
01:14:52,570 --> 01:14:55,820
I knew it. I was right, Walt. It's hot oil.

1063
01:15:13,300 --> 01:15:14,550
Ow!

1064
01:15:16,920 --> 01:15:19,880
What the... You're not made of Tuesday.

1065
01:15:20,340 --> 01:15:22,260
My sanity. It's back.

1066
01:15:22,350 --> 01:15:25,100
At last, I can live the life I always...

1067
01:16:06,970 --> 01:16:08,180
Ahhh!

1068
01:16:13,360 --> 01:16:16,400
You're going onto sainthood.
Just call the chef.

1069
01:16:26,790 --> 01:16:29,330
-What does it mean?
-It is as we feared.

1070
01:16:29,410 --> 01:16:33,500
-Evil will soon triumph over good.
-Your friends face certain death.

1071
01:16:33,580 --> 01:16:35,750
Followed by a disrespectful
marionette show

1072
01:16:35,840 --> 01:16:37,210
performed with their corpses.

1073
01:16:37,300 --> 01:16:41,630
-No! We've got to do something.
-Believe me, we will.

1074
01:16:41,720 --> 01:16:46,390
We've taken out a sternly worded ad
in tomorrow's Cornwood Times.

1075
01:16:48,810 --> 01:16:50,640
What a load of man-horse manure.

1076
01:16:50,730 --> 01:16:55,940
Well, Legola, if you have a better idea,
perhaps you'd like to challenge me to

1077
01:16:56,020 --> 01:16:57,320
debate.

1078
01:17:13,540 --> 01:17:15,790
I'm too exhausted. I can't go on.

1079
01:17:15,880 --> 01:17:18,670
I'm here for you, my friend.
I'll drag you onward.

1080
01:17:18,750 --> 01:17:22,300
Even to my last ounce of strength.
Grab onto my testicles.

1081
01:17:23,380 --> 01:17:26,720
You know,
I think maybe I can walk after all.

1082
01:17:30,770 --> 01:17:32,520
That's not Wipe Castle.

1083
01:17:32,600 --> 01:17:35,480
The dodeca-call is coming
from inside the house.

1084
01:17:40,360 --> 01:17:44,280
What are you waiting for, Frydo?
Throw it already in the boiling plastic.

1085
01:17:44,360 --> 01:17:47,370
-I would. But...
-Me's enjoys owning it.

1086
01:17:47,450 --> 01:17:50,030
Stop talking like that. It gives me anxiety.

1087
01:17:51,290 --> 01:17:52,580
Ow!

1088
01:17:54,370 --> 01:17:56,460
No!

1089
01:18:02,590 --> 01:18:03,710
Twelve

1090
01:18:12,850 --> 01:18:17,440
So, it's all come down to this.
A dungeon and dragons.

1091
01:18:17,520 --> 01:18:19,110
I didn't see it coming.

1092
01:18:20,440 --> 01:18:21,610
Wait.

1093
01:18:30,780 --> 01:18:32,950
Eat the wizard,
eat the slut

1094
01:18:33,040 --> 01:18:35,290
Eat the robot's shiny butt

1095
01:18:35,870 --> 01:18:39,000
Well, at least
we'll be remembered in song.

1096
01:18:39,080 --> 01:18:41,840
Wait a second. I have an idea.

1097
01:18:41,920 --> 01:18:44,420
I surrender. Here, eat my friends.

1098
01:18:44,510 --> 01:18:47,760
Just give me one more second
of sweet, sweet life.

1099
01:18:53,520 --> 01:18:56,640
Well, that worked out
pretty good, eh, fellows?

1100
01:18:59,810 --> 01:19:02,650
Prepare to fire again, brave cowards.

1101
01:19:03,980 --> 01:19:05,900
I still say, I won the debate.

1102
01:19:06,650 --> 01:19:07,860
Fire.

1103
01:19:11,530 --> 01:19:12,530
Uh-oh.

1104
01:19:16,620 --> 01:19:17,750
Whew!

1105
01:19:18,920 --> 01:19:21,420
Legola, you saved us.

1106
01:19:22,000 --> 01:19:24,040
How can I ever repay you?

1107
01:19:31,550 --> 01:19:35,770
Frydo is fighting for his life.
The fate of Cornwood is in our hands.

1108
01:19:35,850 --> 01:19:37,850
Quickly, to the Geysers.

1109
01:19:38,690 --> 01:19:42,520
-Can it wait a couple of minutes?
-Yes. Yes, it can.

1110
01:19:58,000 --> 01:20:00,620
You are no match for my dragon style.

1111
01:20:03,880 --> 01:20:06,250
I guess you are
a match for my dragon style.

1112
01:20:06,340 --> 01:20:07,340
Tell me, Frydo,

1113
01:20:07,420 --> 01:20:11,630
are you aware that a dragon's
one weakness is its soft underbelly?

1114
01:20:11,720 --> 01:20:13,220
No. Why do you...

1115
01:20:15,810 --> 01:20:18,180
Get my friend out of your mouth.

1116
01:20:19,230 --> 01:20:21,020
It is all over, Momon.

1117
01:20:21,100 --> 01:20:23,150
We'll soon be down there defeating you.

1118
01:20:23,230 --> 01:20:27,360
And it's all thanks to
the existence of this fragile staircase.

1119
01:20:30,030 --> 01:20:31,030
Whoa!

1120
01:20:37,450 --> 01:20:39,620
Quick. Get on the magic bug.

1121
01:20:39,700 --> 01:20:43,580
It's not a magic bug, you dope.
It's a magic arachnid.

1122
01:20:43,670 --> 01:20:45,960
Can't you count the legs?

1123
01:20:46,040 --> 01:20:50,340
-No.
-Six, seven, eight. Not six, eight.

1124
01:20:50,420 --> 01:20:52,340
I'll kill you, you imbecile.

1125
01:21:04,770 --> 01:21:07,520
My underbelly. My one weakness.

1126
01:21:15,780 --> 01:21:20,540
I got it. Now I can throw it in
the hot thing over there and be the hero.

1127
01:21:20,620 --> 01:21:24,580
On the other hand,
infinite power might be nice.

1128
01:21:27,340 --> 01:21:29,840
Please, I'm trying to help you.

1129
01:21:29,920 --> 01:21:32,090
Then why are you hitting me with a stick?

1130
01:21:32,170 --> 01:21:34,800
How stupid are you
that you think that's helping?

1131
01:21:34,890 --> 01:21:37,800
Mommy never told you about my father.

1132
01:21:37,890 --> 01:21:41,930
-She said he was a foul He-demon.
-Exactly.

1133
01:21:42,020 --> 01:21:44,730
You are my father.

1134
01:21:46,190 --> 01:21:49,400
No. No, that's impossible.

1135
01:21:49,480 --> 01:21:52,480
Search your feelings.
You know it to be true.

1136
01:21:52,570 --> 01:21:55,320
No, no!

1137
01:21:55,410 --> 01:21:57,990
Yeah. I heard Mommy say so.

1138
01:22:03,290 --> 01:22:07,540
I have all the dice.
I am the dungeon master.

1139
01:22:07,630 --> 01:22:09,590
I know all and see...

1140
01:22:13,300 --> 01:22:14,920
Game over.

1141
01:22:33,860 --> 01:22:35,110
No! No!

1142
01:22:48,380 --> 01:22:49,630
What happened?

1143
01:22:52,300 --> 01:22:54,710
My God,
we're out of that weird, crazy world

1144
01:22:54,800 --> 01:22:57,010
and back in our regular crazy world.

1145
01:22:57,590 --> 01:22:59,970
Did we all just
have some kind of freaky dream

1146
01:23:00,050 --> 01:23:01,220
or was it ghosts?

1147
01:23:01,300 --> 01:23:03,970
Neither, Fry. It was science.

1148
01:23:04,060 --> 01:23:08,690
Bender's mighty imagination
amplified by a dark matter resonance

1149
01:23:08,770 --> 01:23:12,980
created an alternate reality
that very nearly blew our minds.

1150
01:23:13,070 --> 01:23:15,480
Exactly.
You can't make that kind of stuff up.

1151
01:23:15,570 --> 01:23:17,490
Quit trying to explain everything.

1152
01:23:17,570 --> 01:23:21,200
I defeated you in that world
and I'll defeat you in this one.

1153
01:23:21,280 --> 01:23:24,620
Boys, the crystal's still in his stomach.

1154
01:23:24,700 --> 01:23:26,250
Commencing intestinal flash flood.

1155
01:23:27,250 --> 01:23:31,750
Wait! Before my moment of shame, can I...

1156
01:23:32,920 --> 01:23:34,460
Yes, speak up.

1157
01:23:38,840 --> 01:23:41,590
Can I give my boy a hug?

1158
01:23:42,100 --> 01:23:46,310
All right. Fine. I've never done it.
I guess somebody should.

1159
01:23:47,270 --> 01:23:48,430
Daddy.

1160
01:23:50,020 --> 01:23:53,270
Like father, like son, eh, boy?

1161
01:23:55,110 --> 01:23:56,980
We both eated the crysals.

1162
01:23:59,360 --> 01:24:01,280
No. No!

1163
01:24:08,870 --> 01:24:11,710
My dark matter. It's worthless.

1164
01:24:11,790 --> 01:24:15,380
That's right, Mom. But fear not, fancy folk.

1165
01:24:15,460 --> 01:24:18,760
For I've just thunk up
an alternative energy source.

1166
01:24:18,840 --> 01:24:22,300
-Nibbler-power.
-Hurray. Wait. What?

1167
01:24:27,810 --> 01:24:29,810
Mush! Mush!

1168
01:24:29,890 --> 01:24:31,850
Whip harder, Professor.

1169
01:24:35,400 --> 01:24:39,610
Faster, faster. Slower.

1170
01:24:46,990 --> 01:24:48,830
One, two
One, two, three

1171
01:25:12,560 --> 01:25:14,140
All rise
Attention

1172
01:25:45,300 --> 01:25:47,090
All rise
Attention

1173
01:25:53,480 --> 01:25:54,940
All rise
Attention

1174
01:26:02,900 --> 01:26:04,490
Twenty-four
l'm gonna get twenty four

1175
01:26:04,570 --> 01:26:06,610
l'm gonna get 24th century
on his ass

1176
01:26:45,650 --> 01:26:46,650
Anyone wanna play

1177
01:26:46,740 --> 01:26:49,200
Dungeons & Dragons
for the next quadrillion years?