1 00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:18,652 * 2 00:00:26,194 --> 00:00:28,129 [indistinct chatter] 3 00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:32,133 [horn honking] 4 00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:34,735 DUDE, THIS IS GONNA BE SO AWESOME. 5 00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:35,736 WHAT'S GONNA BE AWESOME? 6 00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:37,071 SINGLE MIXER. 7 00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:38,672 ROOMFUL OF LONELY LADIES! 8 00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:40,241 AND FELLAS. 9 00:00:40,341 --> 00:00:41,509 FISH IN A BARREL, MAN. 10 00:00:41,609 --> 00:00:44,212 WE ARE ALL GETTING WAY LAID, RIGHT? 11 00:00:44,312 --> 00:00:45,379 OH, GOOD. 12 00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:47,115 REALLY, LAST TIME THIS GUY HOOKED UP 13 00:00:47,215 --> 00:00:50,118 WITH ONE GIRL, HOUR LATER, HOOKED UP WITH HER TWIN. 14 00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:51,985 AND TWINS! 15 00:00:52,086 --> 00:00:53,154 ACTUALLY I FIGURED OUT LATER 16 00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:54,488 IT WAS JUST THE SAME GIRL WHO PUT A SWEATER ON. 17 00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:55,489 I SEE. 18 00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:57,225 OKAY PEOPLE? 19 00:00:57,325 --> 00:00:58,259 WHAT DO I SAY? 20 00:00:58,359 --> 00:00:59,260 WHAT DO I SAY ALL THE TIME? 21 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:01,095 NO PERSONAL BUSINESS... 22 00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:04,132 ON... 23 00:01:04,232 --> 00:01:05,766 COMPANY... PROPERTY. POND. 24 00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:07,235 TIME. 25 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,750 [indistinct conversations] 26 00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:34,162 WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? 27 00:01:34,262 --> 00:01:35,763 IT'S LIKE A NIGHTMARE DREAM SEQUENCE. 28 00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:36,864 AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS 29 00:01:36,964 --> 00:01:38,132 THIS IS LIKE, REALLY WRONG? 30 00:01:38,232 --> 00:01:39,133 WRONG, HOW? 31 00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:41,335 UH, I DUNNO, ALL THESE OLD PEOPLE 32 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:43,036 CRUISIN'' AROUND, TRYING TO FUCK EACH OTHER. 33 00:01:43,137 --> 00:01:44,338 WELL THEY'RE PROBABLY DIVORCED, 34 00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:46,607 OR WIDOWED AND HAVEN'T BEEN SINGLE IN A WHILE, 35 00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:47,775 THEY NEED SOMETHING. 36 00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:49,310 SO PLAY CRIBBAGE. 37 00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:51,812 MY GRANDMA IS NOT FOR CRUISING AROUND LIKE A SKANK. 38 00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:55,149 UGH, THOSE HANDS, VEINS, AND SPOTS. 39 00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:58,219 GROPING EACH OTHER ALL OVER. 40 00:01:58,319 --> 00:01:59,387 YUCK! 41 00:01:59,487 --> 00:02:03,056 WRINKLED PARTS POUNDING AGAINST WRINKLED PARTS. 42 00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:04,392 ICK. 43 00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:05,426 THEY'RE FLIRTING. 44 00:02:05,526 --> 00:02:06,827 I MEAN SERIOUSLY LADY, 45 00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:08,662 THAT GUY'S SCROTUM HAS GOT TO BE LIKE THREE FEET LONG. 46 00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:10,198 TWO EGGS IN A TUBE SOCK. 47 00:02:10,298 --> 00:02:11,565 I MEAN, COULD HE EVEN GET IT UP? 48 00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:12,766 NAH, THEY JUST-- 49 00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:16,304 WAG IT AROUND TILL IT SHOOTS LITTLE PUFFS OF DUST. 50 00:02:16,404 --> 00:02:17,571 SICK. 51 00:02:18,706 --> 00:02:20,140 WHY IS EVERYTHING AN ULTIMATUM? 52 00:02:20,241 --> 00:02:23,076 LIKE, THAT'S WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 53 00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:25,246 YEAH BECAUSE I'M FINISHING MY SHOW, YOU KNOW THAT. 54 00:02:25,346 --> 00:02:26,414 AND I HAVE THOSE AUD-- 55 00:02:26,514 --> 00:02:27,681 I DO HAVE AUDITIONS! 56 00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:31,819 LOOK I DON'T KNOW, OKAY? 57 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:32,820 SO I HAVE TO GO, OKAY? 58 00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:33,821 CAN I-- 59 00:02:33,921 --> 00:02:36,224 CAN I PLEASE CALL YOU BACK? 60 00:02:36,324 --> 00:02:37,491 THANK YOU. 61 00:02:39,527 --> 00:02:40,694 HEY. 62 00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:43,731 HEY, UH, KYLE IS LOOKING FOR YOU. 63 00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:45,233 DOUBTFUL. 64 00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:46,367 I MEAN HE'S STILL FUCKIN' CRYING 65 00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:48,736 ABOUT THE FACT THAT HE SHAVED OFF HIS EYEBROW 66 00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:50,471 AND FUCKED UP THAT AUDITION. 67 00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:51,572 OKAY. 68 00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:53,641 YOU KNOW, I MEAN HE SHAVED HIS OWN EYEBROW. 69 00:02:53,741 --> 00:02:54,642 HE HAD THE CLIPPERS. 70 00:02:54,742 --> 00:02:55,909 OKAY. 71 00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:01,815 SO WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU? 72 00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:03,116 HEY, WE UP FOR TONIGHT? HEY. 73 00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:04,117 HENRY. 74 00:03:04,218 --> 00:03:05,118 SMILES? 75 00:03:05,219 --> 00:03:06,320 I'M SMILING RON, NEW ME. 76 00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:08,656 [laughs] LOVE IT, THE NEW HENRY. 77 00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:09,657 GOOD. 78 00:03:09,757 --> 00:03:10,824 OKAY. 79 00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:12,693 REMEMBER NO STARING. 80 00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:14,127 OKAY, THEY'RE JUST A BUNCH OF OLD PEOPLE 81 00:03:14,228 --> 00:03:16,129 JUST DOING THE BEST THEY CAN. 82 00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:17,164 SO DON'T STARE. 83 00:03:17,265 --> 00:03:18,466 JUST PRETEND THEY'RE NOT THERE. 84 00:03:18,566 --> 00:03:19,800 DO OUR JOB AND PRETEND THEY'RE NOT THERE. 85 00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:22,536 RON, YOU'RE KINDA STARING. 86 00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:23,804 UM... 87 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,242 OLD PEOPLE FREAK ME OUT. 88 00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:29,477 HAVE YOU EVER SEEN IT? 89 00:03:29,577 --> 00:03:30,678 SEEN-- SEEN WHAT? 90 00:03:30,778 --> 00:03:31,812 THEM. 91 00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:33,247 DOING... 92 00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:34,748 IT. 93 00:03:34,848 --> 00:03:36,216 HAVE YOU? 94 00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:39,620 DISNEY WORLD, I WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD. 95 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,389 I GOT SICK, I WENT BACK TO MY HOTEL. 96 00:03:41,489 --> 00:03:43,924 WALKED IN ON MY GRANDPARENTS, THEY DIDN'T NOTICE. 97 00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:44,925 EW. 98 00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:46,193 THEY JUST KEPT... 99 00:03:46,294 --> 00:03:48,496 THEIR MOUTHS... 100 00:03:48,596 --> 00:03:50,431 AND...THEIR HANDS, 101 00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:52,433 IT WAS LIKE WATCHING A MUMMY BATTLE. 102 00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:53,567 TWO WHITES AND AN OLD FASHIONED. 103 00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:54,768 WHAT'S LIKE A MUMMY BATTLE? 104 00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:55,769 HIS GRANDPARENT'S FUCKING. 105 00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:56,770 DON'T. 106 00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:58,572 WELL, SURE. DON'T. 107 00:03:58,672 --> 00:04:00,341 GO CIRCULATE. 108 00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:03,611 WHY WOULD YOU-- 109 00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:05,313 PLEASE MAKE ME A VODKA. 110 00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:06,814 COMING RIGHT UP. 111 00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:08,181 CHECK THIS OUT. 112 00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:09,182 GOT SOMETHING GOING ON HERE. 113 00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:10,318 [whistles] 114 00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:11,485 HEY! YEAH. 115 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,521 LOOK AT THAT, WHERE'D YOU GET THOSE NEW MOVES? 116 00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:16,590 WELL, AS I SAT IN MY STUDIO APARTMENT LAST NIGHT 117 00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:18,926 TRYING TO DECIDE BETWEEN 118 00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:20,494 FALLING ASLEEP ON THE COUCH 119 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:22,696 OR WALKING THE FOUR FEET TO THE BED, 120 00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:24,932 A SHOW CAME ON ABOUT THIS COP 121 00:04:25,032 --> 00:04:28,969 AND HOW THIS SLASHER KILLED HIS ENTIRE FAMILY. 122 00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:29,970 OKAY... 123 00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:30,971 WITH HIS WHOLE LIFE SHATTERED, 124 00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:33,674 THIS GUY BECAME LIKE A SUPER COP. 125 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:35,476 YA KNOW? MMM-HMMM. 126 00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:36,477 SO I THOUGHT, 127 00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:38,679 WOW, I SHOULD DO THAT. 128 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,381 LET THE JOB FILL MY EMPTINESS. 129 00:04:40,481 --> 00:04:41,549 THIS JOB? 130 00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:43,351 ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THIS JOB OR BECOMING A SUPER COP? 131 00:04:43,451 --> 00:04:44,752 'CAUSE LISTEN, I WATCH THE SHIELD. 132 00:04:44,852 --> 00:04:46,620 I DON'T REALLY SEE YOU LASTING ON THE STREETS. 133 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:47,621 NO I MEANT BARTENDING. 134 00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:52,526 BARTENDING, WELL THANK GOD. 135 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:55,429 UM, YOU DOING OKAY? 136 00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:56,430 NO. 137 00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:57,465 NO, NO. 138 00:04:57,565 --> 00:04:58,632 OH. 139 00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:00,334 SORRY TO HEAR THAT. 140 00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:02,603 YOU ARE SUPER BARTENDER. 141 00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:03,604 TOLD YA. YEAH. 142 00:05:03,704 --> 00:05:05,238 HELLO EVERYONE! 143 00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:06,774 I'M PEPPER MCMASTERS! 144 00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:09,610 [applause] 145 00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,379 THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. 146 00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:13,681 WELCOME TO SENIORLICOUS! 147 00:05:13,781 --> 00:05:17,751 WHOOO! 148 00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:19,252 YAY! 149 00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:20,554 IF YOU READ MY BOOK, 150 00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:23,023 YOU KNOW THAT WE'RE GONNA TAKE YOUR SINGLE SENIOR LIFE 151 00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:26,927 AND ADD A LITTLE PEPPER. 152 00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:28,462 BECAUSE LOVE AND ROMANCE 153 00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:30,364 ISN'T JUST FOR KIDS, IS IT? 154 00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:31,465 NO, NO, NO. 155 00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:32,466 WELL ALL NEED IT, 156 00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:34,001 AND WE ALL CAN GET IT! 157 00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:35,803 YES! 158 00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:37,838 ABSOLUTELY! 159 00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:39,740 SO OUR PRESENTATION WILL BEGIN SHORTLY, 160 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,308 BUT YA KNOW, IN THE MEANTIME 161 00:05:41,409 --> 00:05:44,545 JUST LOOSEN UP, LIVE A LITTLE, 162 00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:46,847 AND UH, GET READY FOR A SURPRISE OR TWO. 163 00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:50,718 SURPRISES? 164 00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:52,620 SURPRISES, THEY'RE COMING. 165 00:05:58,426 --> 00:05:59,693 HEY ROMAN, CONGRATS MAN. 166 00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:01,862 I HEARD THAT GEORGE LUCAS TOTALLY LOVED YOUR SCRIPT, 167 00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:02,996 EVERYONE'S TALKING ABOUT IT. 168 00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:04,665 YEAH, FIRST OF ALL I TOLD NO ONE 169 00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:05,966 ABOUT THAT LITTLE MESSAGE YOU LEFT ME. 170 00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:08,802 SECOND, EVERYONE KNOWS LUCAS IS KIDDY BULLSHIT. 171 00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:10,070 I'M HARD SCI-FI. 172 00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:12,406 AND NEVER THE TWAIN SHALL MEET. 173 00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:13,541 KICK ASS REVENGE BRO. 174 00:06:13,641 --> 00:06:14,675 KICK ASS. 175 00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:15,843 GEEZ. 176 00:06:15,943 --> 00:06:17,978 SCOTCH ROCKS. 177 00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:19,947 NICE LOOKIN' CROWD. 178 00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:21,314 IT'S NOT REALLY MY SCENE. 179 00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:22,583 YOU DON'T DATE? 180 00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:24,017 NOT OLD PEOPLE. 181 00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:25,886 YOU WILL SOMEDAY. 182 00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:27,588 I'LL PROBABLY DO LIKE A MICHAEL DOUGLAS THING, YA KNOW? 183 00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:28,889 GRAB SOME YOUNG HOTTIE. 184 00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:31,459 AH, SO YOU'RE AN ACTOR. 185 00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:32,760 BUT NOT REALLY A MICHAEL DOUGLAS TYPE. 186 00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:34,628 I'M MORE OF A COLIN FARRELL, YA KNOW? 187 00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:37,064 DANGEROUS, YET VULNERABLE. 188 00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:38,899 WELL, IF DOESN'T WORK OUT-- 189 00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:40,701 UH, IT'LL WORK OUT. 190 00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:41,702 BUT IF IT DOESN'T. 191 00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:43,036 IT WILL. 192 00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:45,773 YEAH, BUT IF IT DOESN'T, THIS MIGHT BE YOU IN 40 YEARS. 193 00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:49,076 BUT, WHY BOTHER? 194 00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:50,778 I DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE BUT, 195 00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:54,014 ISN'T EVERYTHING ALL DRIED UP AND LIMP ANYWAY? 196 00:06:54,114 --> 00:06:57,785 KID, THIS IS THE 21ST CENTURY. 197 00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:04,391 HEY UH, OKAY SO THIS IS A TEXT MESSAGE. 198 00:07:04,492 --> 00:07:06,527 SO THERE'S LIKE GRAMMATICAL ISSUES OR WHATEVER, 199 00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:09,930 BUT, BOTTOM LINE: "BTM LINE" 200 00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:15,035 UH, "SO-CALLED CAREER = CHLDSH BLSHIT," 201 00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:17,838 WHICH I-- I'M ASSUMING IS CHILDISH BULLSHIT. 202 00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:24,812 UH, "IF GIVE FCK ANYTHING BUT YRSELF, BUY TKET--" 203 00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:25,979 I DON'T EVEN KNOW. 204 00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:27,781 BUY TICKET. 205 00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:30,918 OH, YEAH LIKE A TICKET TO VERMONT. 206 00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:32,920 YEAH, BUY A TICKET TO VERMONT. 207 00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,154 YIKES. 208 00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:35,523 REALLY? 209 00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:37,057 IS IT-- YEAH I MEAN IS THAT-- 210 00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:38,692 DICKISH ACTUALLY. 211 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:39,760 YEAH. 212 00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:40,761 BECAUSE I'VE BEEN TRYING TO THINK, 213 00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:42,162 LIKE MAYBE HE'S RIGHT. 214 00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:43,463 AND I'M WRONG, YA KNOW? 215 00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:44,965 LIKE MAYBE HE'S A GOOD GUY 216 00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:47,067 AND I'M JUST THE ASSHOLE WHO'S BREAKING UP THE WHOLE MARRIAGE. 217 00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:49,069 OF-- I AT FIRST THOUGHT I WAS THE-- 218 00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:50,070 SURE. 219 00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:51,171 THE GOOD GUY, BUT I-- I DUNNO. 220 00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:52,673 I REALLY-- 221 00:07:52,773 --> 00:07:54,675 I-- I DON'T EVEN KNOW. 222 00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:55,976 OKAY. 223 00:07:57,611 --> 00:07:58,712 [whistles] 224 00:07:58,812 --> 00:07:59,913 SPLITSVILLE MAN, FOR SURE. 225 00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:01,549 YOU THINK? 226 00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:02,683 IT'S IN HER BODY LANGUAGE. 227 00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:04,652 I CAN READ HER BODY. 228 00:08:04,752 --> 00:08:06,987 SHE'S BACK ON THE MARKET MAN 229 00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:08,488 IF YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT HAVING A GO, 230 00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:09,523 GET IN LINE BRO. 231 00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:11,592 WHOA, THERE'S A LINE? 232 00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:13,160 YEAH. 233 00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:14,862 I'M AHEAD OF YOU 'CAUSE YOU'RE THE NEW GUY. 234 00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:16,630 ALRIGHT. ALRIGHT GOOD. 235 00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:18,699 DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE INTO HER, SO... 236 00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:19,833 SHE'S ALRIGHT. 237 00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:22,102 SHE'S NOT THE HOTTEST GIRL, 238 00:08:22,202 --> 00:08:23,637 BUT I'M NOT THE KINDA GUY WHO'S GONNA BE LIKE, 239 00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:25,505 OH, SHE'S-- YA KNOW, HER BRAIN IS A NINE. 240 00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:29,109 WHAT ABOUT HER TITS? 241 00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:30,110 I MEAN DON'T GET ME WRONG, 242 00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:31,111 SHE'S GOT NICE TITS. 243 00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:32,980 I'D GIVE THEM A SIX. 244 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:34,181 AND HER FACE IS DECENT. 245 00:08:34,281 --> 00:08:35,583 I GIVE THAT A SIX OR A SEVEN. 246 00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:37,150 BODY, GO TO THE GYM. 247 00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:39,553 ONCE IN A WHILE, TONE UP THE STOMACH. 248 00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:42,089 OVERALL RIGHT NOW, A SIX OR A SEVEN BODY. 249 00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:44,057 EYES ARE REALLY NICE 250 00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:46,226 BUT YA KNOW, SOME MAKEUP 251 00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:47,928 WOULD BE NICE TO KINDA 252 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,863 BRING THEM OUT A LITTLE BIT MORE. 253 00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:52,866 AND THEN HER HAIR, BROWN, NICE. 254 00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:55,202 LIKE THE BROWN CARPET. 255 00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:57,638 I PREFER LINOLEUM. 256 00:08:57,738 --> 00:08:59,873 BUT I-- OVERALL IT'S A 6.8. 257 00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:03,510 6.9. 6.8, 6.8.9. 258 00:09:03,611 --> 00:09:05,979 THAT'S WHAT I'D SAY. 259 00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:09,950 THAT GUY GETS YOU UP AND READY RIGHT AWAY. 260 00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:12,720 THESE GUYS, MORE OF A MELLOW ALL DAY STYLE. 261 00:09:12,820 --> 00:09:15,756 THESE BABIES TAKE CARE OF THE ACHES AND PAINS. 262 00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:18,091 THIS SHIT'S PRACTICALLY STRAIGHT SPEED. 263 00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:19,760 KEEP THE RIGHT BALANCE, DUDE, 264 00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:20,861 I'M A TEENAGER. 265 00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:22,029 THAT IS AMAZING. 266 00:09:22,129 --> 00:09:24,865 UH, AND THAT ONE RIGHT THERE IS THE INSTA-BONER? 267 00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:29,770 MMM-HMMM. 268 00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:32,940 UM, YOU THINK I COULD KEEP ONE OF THOSE? 269 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:40,781 FOR SHIZZLE. 270 00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:42,215 FOR SHIZZLE. 271 00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:43,216 ANYTHING USEFUL? 272 00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:44,985 MMM, YEAH, I BET YOU DON'T KNOW 273 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,887 WHAT THE BIGGEST SEXUAL ORGAN IS. 274 00:09:46,987 --> 00:09:48,956 WELL THAT WOULD BE MY THROBBING-- 275 00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:49,957 BRAIN. 276 00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:50,958 IT'S YOUR BRAIN. 277 00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:52,592 EXACTLY, MY THROBBING FIVE INCH BRAIN. 278 00:09:52,693 --> 00:09:53,593 FIVE INCH BRAIN? 279 00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:54,594 CASEY. WHAT? 280 00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:55,863 CIRCULATING. 281 00:09:58,866 --> 00:10:00,567 OH, CONSTANCE! 282 00:10:00,668 --> 00:10:01,835 I'M SORRY? 283 00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,804 CONSTANCE CARMELL! 284 00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:05,806 OH HONEY, THINK! 285 00:10:05,906 --> 00:10:08,041 CABO, EVERY NIGHT TEQUILA 286 00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:10,210 AND A NEW PAGE FROM THE KARMA SUTRA. 287 00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:12,079 DAVID. 288 00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:13,681 NO, HOW ABOUT... 289 00:10:13,781 --> 00:10:17,150 "YOU'RE THE ONLY MAN I EVER LET GO UP THERE." 290 00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:19,987 OH, UH JEFFREY, TODD, T-BONE... 291 00:10:20,087 --> 00:10:21,088 NO, HOLD ON. 292 00:10:21,188 --> 00:10:23,691 YOU CAN'T HAVE FORGOTTEN ABOUT THIS. 293 00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:24,692 HUH? 294 00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:25,693 UH, I DUNNO. 295 00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:26,694 UM, BRUCE. 296 00:10:26,794 --> 00:10:28,862 YES! 297 00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,563 BRUCE WINGSTREET! 298 00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:31,799 BRUCE NESBITT. 299 00:10:31,899 --> 00:10:33,100 BRUCE NESBITT! YEAH. 300 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,735 OH MY GOSH. 301 00:10:34,835 --> 00:10:37,671 WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE? 302 00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:39,239 NOTHING. 303 00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:40,240 IT'S BEEN 25 YEARS, 304 00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:41,875 I GOT A LINE OR TWO. 305 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,076 YEAH. 306 00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:44,244 IT'S BEEN 25 YEARS HUH? 307 00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:45,245 YEAH. WOW. 308 00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:46,980 HONEY, YOU LOOK GREAT. 309 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:48,248 CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK? 310 00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:50,784 UM...NO. 311 00:10:50,884 --> 00:10:53,320 NO PERSONAL BUSINESS ON COMPANY POND. 312 00:10:57,958 --> 00:10:59,192 ROUGH OUT THERE. 313 00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:00,660 GOT ANY TIPS? 314 00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:02,830 NO. 315 00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:04,131 HEY. 316 00:11:04,231 --> 00:11:05,833 UM, CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING? 317 00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:07,000 NO. 318 00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:10,270 I JUST GOT HIT ON BY ONE OF THE CREEPY OLD FREAKS. 319 00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:11,604 WHATCHA DOIN'? 320 00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:12,873 REVENGE. 321 00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:13,874 I'M GETTING BACK AT ROMAN. 322 00:11:13,974 --> 00:11:14,875 POISON? 323 00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:17,344 BONER PILL. 324 00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:18,345 HEY KYLE. 325 00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:19,379 HEY MAN WHAT'S UP. 326 00:11:19,479 --> 00:11:20,380 LADY IN THE PANTSUIT 327 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:21,381 SAID SHE'D GIVE YOU A BLOW-J 328 00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:23,016 IN THE BACK OF HER BUICK SKYLARK. 329 00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:24,284 EVEN TAKE OUT HER TEETH. 330 00:11:24,384 --> 00:11:25,719 GIVE ME A GINGER ALE. 331 00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:26,754 I'M PARCHED. 332 00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:28,055 IT'S ROUGH OUT THERE, 333 00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:31,624 I WAS JUST TRYING TO GET SOME BARTENDER ADVISE. 334 00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:32,760 GEEZ MISTER, I DUNNO. 335 00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:34,895 IT'S NOT EXACTLY OUR SCENE, IS IT FELLAS? 336 00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:35,963 MY ADVISE, MATLOCK. 337 00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:36,964 I DID A MATLOCK. 338 00:11:37,064 --> 00:11:38,298 YOU EVER PLAY A CORPSE? 339 00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:39,299 NO. 340 00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:40,400 CHARACTER WITH NO LIFE? 341 00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:42,169 NOT ALLOWED TO BREATHE, CAN'T EVEN MOVE? 342 00:11:42,269 --> 00:11:43,170 THAT'S A CHALLENGE. 343 00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:44,171 AMAZING. 344 00:11:44,271 --> 00:11:45,906 SO YOU'RE AN ACTRESS. 345 00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:47,207 WIPE YOUR MOUTH. 346 00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:52,645 [sighs] 347 00:11:52,746 --> 00:11:54,915 LISTEN, MY ADVISE TO YOU WOULD BE LEAVE US ALONE. 348 00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:56,183 OKAY? 349 00:11:56,283 --> 00:11:57,450 LEAVE US ALONE. 350 00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:02,155 DON'T WORRY ABOUT HER. 351 00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:04,792 WHERE THE FUCK IS MY GINGER ALE? 352 00:12:04,892 --> 00:12:05,893 HERE YOU GO, SORRY ABOUT THAT. 353 00:12:05,993 --> 00:12:06,927 SWEET, REAL SPEEDY. 354 00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:08,195 DICK. 355 00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:11,731 [laughs] 356 00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:21,474 [sighs] 357 00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:28,782 BAD BACK. 358 00:12:28,882 --> 00:12:30,417 ROLLED MY HORSE ON THE BEACH IN PHUKET. 359 00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:31,919 SCOTCH. 360 00:12:32,019 --> 00:12:35,022 SOUNDS A LOT MORE FUN THAN HOW I SCREWED UP MY BACK. 361 00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:39,292 I'D SHARE BUT IT WAS MY LAST ONE. 362 00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:42,429 UNLESS YOU GO FOR THE ALL NATURAL STUFF. 363 00:12:43,463 --> 00:12:44,965 WHY YES I DO. 364 00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:48,435 HEY HENRY, WHAT'S UP? 365 00:12:48,535 --> 00:12:50,403 UH NOT MUCH, JUST HEADED TO THE JOHN. 366 00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:52,172 DROP A DEUCE. 367 00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:59,246 JUST UH, ACTUALLY MEETING A MAN WHO OFFERED ME SOME POT. 368 00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:01,048 OH HEY, I COULD REALLY USE A MELLOW. 369 00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:02,382 YEAH? LET ME GET RID OF THIS 370 00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:03,917 AND I'LL MEET YOU IN THE LITTLE BOY'S IN A COUPLE. 371 00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:05,853 I DUNNO, YOU KNOW, I DON'T REALLY-- 372 00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:08,922 O-- OKAY. 373 00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,390 SO YOU FLAMED OUT HUH? 374 00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:13,426 ACTING THING WAS A BUST. 375 00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:16,129 TOTAL BUST, YEAH YEAH. 376 00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:17,730 TOTAL... 377 00:13:17,831 --> 00:13:19,799 COMPLETE FUCKIN' BUST. 378 00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:21,835 MONEY, CELEBRITY, WHO WANTS THE TROUBLE? 379 00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:23,937 WHY DO YOU THINK YOU DON'T SEE OLD DUDES LIKE ME 380 00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:26,239 TRYING TO BE FAMOUS? 381 00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:27,374 WE KNOW BETTER. 382 00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:28,909 OKAY. 383 00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:31,244 THERE'S REALLY ONLY FOUR THINGS IN LIFE THAT ARE IMPORTANT. 384 00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:34,114 YOU GOT FRIENDSHIP, MMM? 385 00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:35,115 UH-HUH. 386 00:13:35,215 --> 00:13:36,516 LOVE. 387 00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:38,218 SEX, BADA BING, 388 00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:39,887 THAT'S WHY I COME TO THESE THINGS. 389 00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:41,855 THAT'S ONLY THREE THINGS. 390 00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:44,024 OH YEAH, SHIT. 391 00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:46,293 I FORGOT THE OTHER ONE. 392 00:13:46,393 --> 00:13:48,095 IS IT WORK? 393 00:13:48,195 --> 00:13:51,298 LIKE UH, CAREER? 394 00:13:51,398 --> 00:13:54,234 NO, IT'S A REALLY BIG ONE. 395 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:55,502 LET'S GET HIGH! 396 00:14:05,578 --> 00:14:08,248 HEY UH, RON WANTS YOU TO TUCK YOUR SHIRT IN. 397 00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,350 WHAT, YOU DON'T WANNA TUCK IT IN? 398 00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:11,919 WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? 399 00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:13,786 TUCK IT IN. 400 00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:14,988 HAPPY? 401 00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:21,194 QUEERBOT, WHAT THE-- 402 00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:22,195 IT IS EXCITING. 403 00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:23,230 RIGHT? 404 00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:24,397 YEAH! OH, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 405 00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:25,865 I GET TO TRAVEL, 406 00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:27,400 I MEET NEW PEOPLE, 407 00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:29,436 EVERYDAY IS NEW. 408 00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:30,837 WOW. 409 00:14:30,938 --> 00:14:32,539 I FINALLY, WITHOUT A MAN, 410 00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:35,808 LIVING THE LIFE I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO LIVE. 411 00:14:35,909 --> 00:14:37,344 AND IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE JUST SOME PIECE OF FURNITURE 412 00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:39,913 THAT HE MOVES FROM THE OLD HOUSE TO THE NEW HOUSE. 413 00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:41,214 RIGHT. YEAH. 414 00:14:41,314 --> 00:14:42,315 RIGHT. I MEAN IT SHOULD BE LIKE THAT. 415 00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:43,917 YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD LIVE YOUR LIFE. 416 00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:47,054 YOU SHOULD WRITE YOUR NAME ON THE EARTH IN GASOLINE 417 00:14:47,154 --> 00:14:49,322 AND JUST LIKE LIGHT THAT SHIT ON FIRE. 418 00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:50,323 YES, YES! 419 00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:51,992 IT'S OUR RIGHT! IT IS OUR RIGHT! 420 00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:53,526 WE SHOULD GRAB IT, WE SHOULD SEIZE IT, 421 00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:56,429 IT'S OURS. 422 00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:58,598 HAVE YOU EVER GIVEN THIS SPEECH TO SOMEBODY BEFORE 423 00:14:58,698 --> 00:15:00,567 AND THEY LIKE DID EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE SAYING 424 00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:04,104 AND THEN IT TOTALLY RUINED THEIR WHOLE LIFE? 425 00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:05,405 HMMM. 426 00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:10,510 SHOOT, I'M ON! 427 00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:12,245 OH, ALRIGHT. 428 00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:14,147 UM, OKAY BYE. 429 00:15:17,985 --> 00:15:19,219 I-- OKAY. 430 00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:20,587 OH, OH, OH! 431 00:15:20,687 --> 00:15:22,522 REMEMBER THE WRAP PARTY FOR HOOPER WHERE THE STUNT GUY 432 00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:24,124 OH YES. 433 00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:25,258 JUMPED OFF THE ROOF INTO THE POOL. 434 00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:27,260 [laughing] 435 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:28,461 YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? 436 00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:30,097 YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? 437 00:15:30,197 --> 00:15:33,967 UH, YEAH HE JUMPED IN THE POOL. 438 00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:36,936 [laughing too hard to speak] 439 00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:40,107 FRACTURED HIS SKULL. 440 00:15:40,207 --> 00:15:42,375 THAT SOUNDS HORRIBLE. 441 00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:44,011 DID WE MENTION HE WAS NAKED? 442 00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:45,378 HE WAS COMPLETELY NAKED. 443 00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:50,150 THAT SOUNDS-- THAT STILL SOUNDS HORRIBLE. 444 00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:52,019 OH MY GOD IT WAS SO HILARIOUS. 445 00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:53,586 OH AND THE COKE WAS SO GOOD BACK THEN. 446 00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:54,988 OH YEAH. REMEMBER? 447 00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:56,356 I MEAN THE SHIT THEY'RE SNORTING TODAY, MY GOD. 448 00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:57,357 IT'S LIKE BABY FORMULA. 449 00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:58,891 COME ON, WHY BOTHER? 450 00:15:58,992 --> 00:16:01,028 IT'S LIKE HAVING A STRONG CUP OF COFFEE OR SOMETHING. 451 00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:02,095 YOU KNOW? 452 00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:03,263 BIG FREAKIN' DEAL. 453 00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:04,431 YEAH. 454 00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:06,666 DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE DID IT IN THE PHONE BOOTH? 455 00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:07,900 UH-HUH. 456 00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:09,669 DO YOU REMEMBER THAT WE REALIZED 457 00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:13,906 THAT EVERYBODY COULD SEE IN. 458 00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:15,075 OR THE TIME WE DID IT IN THE YARD 459 00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:16,209 WHEN I BROKE MY HAND? 460 00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:17,310 YOU BROKE YOUR HAND! 461 00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:18,911 IT WAS CRAZY! PLASTER ALL OVER BOTH OF US. 462 00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:21,914 WE DID-- WE HAD SEX IN SOME INSANE PLACES. 463 00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:22,915 INSANE. 464 00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:23,916 AND IT WAS SO MUCH FUN. 465 00:16:24,017 --> 00:16:25,085 IT WAS SO MUCH FUN. 466 00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:26,119 I HAD A GOOD TIME. 467 00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:27,187 IT WAS A GOOD TIME. 468 00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:28,555 HENRY, WHAT IS THE CRAZIEST PLACE 469 00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:32,659 THAT YOU EVER MADE LOVE? 470 00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:35,628 A BED. 471 00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:36,696 WHAT'D HE SAY? WOW. 472 00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:37,930 WHAT'D HE SAY? BED. 473 00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:39,032 WHAT-- WHAT'D WE ASK HIM? 474 00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:40,533 I DON'T KNOW. 475 00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:42,935 WHAT DO YOU SAY CONNIE, 476 00:16:43,036 --> 00:16:46,005 WHEN YOU GET OFF LET'S SAY WE TAKE THIS PARTY 477 00:16:46,106 --> 00:16:47,307 BACK TO MY PLACE. 478 00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:48,575 I DUNNO. 479 00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:55,515 I DON'T THINK I WANT TO. 480 00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:57,417 I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. 481 00:17:01,054 --> 00:17:02,255 HARSH. 482 00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:04,324 HARSH. 483 00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:13,666 I DIDN'T REALLY GO. 484 00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:15,102 I KNOW. 485 00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:22,709 SCOTCH. 486 00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:25,044 MAN, I DO NOT GET WOMEN. 487 00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:28,281 DUDE, YOU SAID THAT PILL GIVES YOU AN INSTANT BONER. 488 00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,483 IT'S NOT LIKE PUSHING A BUTTON. 489 00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:32,285 STILL NEED THE RIGHT MOOD AND EVERYTHING. 490 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,254 OR IS THAT GAY? 491 00:17:34,354 --> 00:17:37,023 TO YOU KIDS, EVERYTHING'S GAY NOW. 492 00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:39,025 SHIT, I AM HIGH AS A KITE. 493 00:17:39,126 --> 00:17:43,630 GIVE ME THAT, I GOTTA EVEN MY KEEL. 494 00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:45,232 YEAH. 495 00:17:45,332 --> 00:17:46,533 I DON'T SEE WHY YOU COULDN'T AT LEAST 496 00:17:46,633 --> 00:17:47,600 GIVE HIM YOUR NUMBER. 497 00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:49,202 HE'S OLD. 498 00:17:49,302 --> 00:17:52,305 WELL, HOW OLD ARE YOU? 499 00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:55,408 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 500 00:17:55,508 --> 00:17:57,076 IN YEARS. 501 00:17:57,177 --> 00:18:00,012 YOU'RE AS YOUNG AS YOU FEEL HENRY 502 00:18:00,113 --> 00:18:03,416 AND I FEEL SUPER. 503 00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:04,584 WHAT ARE YOU, LIKE 48? 504 00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:06,286 WOW. 505 00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:09,289 OKAY, WELL YOU DID IT ON THE SET OF HOOPER. 506 00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:11,258 THAT WAS 30 YEARS AGO. 507 00:18:11,358 --> 00:18:12,425 DON'T REMIND ME. 508 00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:13,693 YUGH. 509 00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:15,662 BUT IF YOU'RE AS YOUNG AS YOU FEEL 510 00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:17,564 AND SO IS HE, 511 00:18:17,664 --> 00:18:23,170 AND YOU GUYS BOTH FEEL THE WAY YOU DID 30 YEARS AGO 512 00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:25,372 WHEN YOU HAD A GREAT TIME TOGETHER, 513 00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:30,643 THEN AREN'T YOU BOTH STILL LIKE... 514 00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:32,212 THE SAME PERSON? 515 00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:33,346 WAIT, WHAT? 516 00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:34,681 WHAT? 517 00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:36,316 I DON'T KNOW, I'M SORRY. 518 00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:41,053 I-- I'M SO FUCKIN' HIGH. 519 00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:42,589 IT'S JUST-- 520 00:18:42,689 --> 00:18:46,226 I WISH I HAD SOMEONE THAT... 521 00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:53,466 I GOT ALONG WITH THE WAY YOU GUYS GET ALONG. 522 00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:55,735 THERE ARE FOUR THINGS THAT ARE IMPORTANT IN LIFE. 523 00:18:55,835 --> 00:18:58,838 FRIENDSHIP, LOVE, AND SEX. 524 00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:00,173 WHAT'S THE FOURTH ONE? 525 00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:01,241 WHAT? 526 00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:09,148 WHAT'S THE FOURTH ONE, YOU SAID THERE WAS-- 527 00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:11,184 WHAT ARE YOU-- CONSTANCE, 528 00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:12,752 WHAT ARE YOU DO-- 529 00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:13,853 [sniffs] 530 00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:14,854 IS THAT POT? 531 00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:16,256 MY GOD IT STINKS LIKE POT IN HERE, 532 00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:17,257 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 533 00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:18,558 POT. 534 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:21,628 SMOKING POT. 535 00:19:21,728 --> 00:19:23,563 GOD DAMMIT WHAT HAPPENED TO THE NEW HENRY? 536 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,832 I-- NOW MY-- 537 00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:27,700 SHIRT SMELLS LIKE POT. 538 00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:36,676 OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT? 539 00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:38,345 I'M NOT GONNA BUST YOU GUYS 540 00:19:38,445 --> 00:19:40,513 FOR SMOKING POT ON THE JOB. 541 00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:41,514 EVEN THOUGH I SHOULD, 542 00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:43,182 BECAUSE IT'S REALLY WRONG. 543 00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:45,252 OKAY, THIS IS ME, RON. 544 00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:47,787 GIVING YOU TWO A LITTLE STRAIGHT TALK. 545 00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:51,123 YOU-- YOU'RE AWARE THAT I USED TO PARTY PRETTY HARD, RIGHT? 546 00:19:51,224 --> 00:19:52,259 OH, YEAH. 547 00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:53,660 YEAH YOU MADE A BONG OUT OF CHEESE. 548 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:54,761 OH MY GOSH. 549 00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:56,263 I WANNA SHOW YOU SOMETHING. 550 00:19:56,363 --> 00:19:57,897 FOUR YEARS AGO I VOWED TO GET STRAIGHT. 551 00:19:57,997 --> 00:19:59,532 I PUT THIS IN MY WALLET 552 00:19:59,632 --> 00:20:06,673 AS A CONSTANT REMINDER. 553 00:20:06,773 --> 00:20:08,207 I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M LOOKING AT HERE RON. 554 00:20:08,308 --> 00:20:09,208 YOU DON'T-- 555 00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:10,677 DO YOU REMEMBER MY PARTY BUDDY 556 00:20:10,777 --> 00:20:12,178 KEVIN CATHCART? 557 00:20:12,279 --> 00:20:13,246 NO. 558 00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:16,716 THAT'S WHERE HIS FOOT USED TO BE. 559 00:20:16,816 --> 00:20:19,252 SO POT MADE HIS FOOT FALL OFF? 560 00:20:19,352 --> 00:20:20,520 NO. 561 00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:21,888 HE BECAME AN ALCOHOLIC, 562 00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:23,756 MIXED GIN AND PERCOSET ON HIS WAY TO WORK, 563 00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:27,360 HE CRASHED THE COMPANY VAN INTO A TREE AND LOST HIS FOOT. 564 00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:29,562 GOD. WHERE DOES POT FIT IN? 565 00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:31,798 HE SMOKED A LOT OF POT! 566 00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:33,800 THAT'S A LEG? 567 00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:34,801 MADE FOOTLESS. 568 00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:36,736 BY POT. 569 00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:38,805 [laughing] 570 00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:40,273 GET IT? 571 00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:43,943 GIVE ME THIS. 572 00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:47,814 STRAIGHT TALK. 573 00:20:54,387 --> 00:20:55,555 THANKS RON. 574 00:20:56,356 --> 00:20:57,524 THANKS RON. 575 00:21:02,995 --> 00:21:04,664 OH, HELLO. 576 00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:05,765 HEY. 577 00:21:05,865 --> 00:21:06,899 UH, ARE YOU HERE FOR SOMETHING? 578 00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:08,501 WORKING THE EVENT, LIKE YOU. 579 00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:09,502 THAT THE MEN'S ROOM? 580 00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:10,503 UH, WHY? 581 00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:13,205 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHY? 582 00:21:13,306 --> 00:21:15,408 WHY-- I WOULDN'T GO IN THERE IF I WERE YOU. 583 00:21:15,508 --> 00:21:16,776 I MEAN I DIDN'T STINK UP THE PLACE 584 00:21:16,876 --> 00:21:18,978 YA KNOW, NOT MY THING WHEN I'M WORKING 585 00:21:19,078 --> 00:21:20,547 BUT THERE'S AN OLD GUY IN THERE 586 00:21:20,647 --> 00:21:23,583 AND UH...HE HAS SOME BOWEL PROBLEMS 587 00:21:23,683 --> 00:21:25,618 AND HE CAN'T SEE SO IT'S-- 588 00:21:25,718 --> 00:21:28,388 QUITE FRANKLY IT'S A LITTLE MESSY IN THERE. 589 00:21:28,488 --> 00:21:30,523 I'D USE THE BATHROOM DOWN THE HALLWAY. 590 00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:32,224 IT'S NOT FAR. 591 00:21:32,325 --> 00:21:33,526 SO. 592 00:21:38,865 --> 00:21:41,868 SENIORS, GOD WHAT A WORD, HUH? 593 00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:43,503 YUCK. 594 00:21:43,603 --> 00:21:48,741 BUT MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE WE'RE JUST NOT LOOKING AT IT RIGHT. 595 00:21:48,841 --> 00:21:49,942 SEXY! 596 00:21:50,042 --> 00:21:51,978 [laughter and applause] 597 00:21:52,078 --> 00:21:53,580 THAT'S RIGHT, THAT'S RIGHT! 598 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:54,647 OKAY THAT'S GOOD. 599 00:21:54,747 --> 00:21:56,416 BUT YOU KNOW, YOU GUYS WON'T ADMIT IT 600 00:21:56,516 --> 00:21:58,651 BECAUSE YOU THINK THAT ONCE YOU GET OLDER 601 00:21:58,751 --> 00:22:01,654 YOU HAVE TO ACT ALL DIGNIFIED. 602 00:22:01,754 --> 00:22:02,655 YES SIR. 603 00:22:02,755 --> 00:22:04,357 HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE SEXY? 604 00:22:04,457 --> 00:22:05,892 IF I CAN'T EVEN STAND UP! 605 00:22:05,992 --> 00:22:07,293 I'M GLAD YOU ASKED. 606 00:22:07,394 --> 00:22:09,462 IF YOU READ CHAPTER NINE, 607 00:22:09,562 --> 00:22:10,663 "SEXY TIME", 608 00:22:10,763 --> 00:22:13,633 YOU'D KNOW THAT YOUR BIGGEST SEX ORGAN, 609 00:22:13,733 --> 00:22:15,968 AND I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE, 610 00:22:16,068 --> 00:22:17,737 IS YOUR BRAIN. 611 00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:19,806 THAT'S WHERE IT STARTS. 612 00:22:19,906 --> 00:22:23,676 [talking continues in background] 613 00:22:27,747 --> 00:22:29,882 [Pepper] RESPECT YOURSELF, RESPECT YOUR BODY, 614 00:22:29,982 --> 00:22:31,951 AND THEN OTHER PEOPLE WILL RESPECT YOU. 615 00:22:32,051 --> 00:22:34,487 DON'T BE AFRAID TO SEIZE THE MOMENT. 616 00:22:34,587 --> 00:22:40,059 [talking continues] 617 00:22:40,159 --> 00:22:42,629 [phone clicking] 618 00:22:42,729 --> 00:22:44,464 THINK OF HOW EXCITING IT WAS TO BE IN HIGH SCHOOL 619 00:22:44,564 --> 00:22:45,698 AND HAVE ALL THOSE NERVOUS FEELINGS, 620 00:22:45,798 --> 00:22:47,934 AND WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO GO BACK TO HIGH SCHOOL! 621 00:22:48,034 --> 00:22:50,570 YES, ARE THERE ANY QUESTIONS? 622 00:22:50,670 --> 00:22:52,405 UH... 623 00:22:52,505 --> 00:22:53,773 OKAY, OH YOU AGAIN. 624 00:22:53,873 --> 00:22:55,408 OKAY, YES SIR? 625 00:22:55,508 --> 00:22:58,445 ISN'T THIS WHOLE THING KINDA UNDIGNIFIED? 626 00:22:58,545 --> 00:22:59,879 YOU KNOW WHAT FRED? 627 00:22:59,979 --> 00:23:02,515 WHAT I REALLY THINK YOU NEED TO DO IS LOOSEN UP. 628 00:23:02,615 --> 00:23:03,516 HUH? 629 00:23:03,616 --> 00:23:04,517 YEAH SHE'S RIGHT FRED. 630 00:23:04,617 --> 00:23:05,718 YOU NEED TO LOOSEN UP A LITTLE. 631 00:23:05,818 --> 00:23:06,819 YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO YOUR NURSE. 632 00:23:06,919 --> 00:23:08,087 YEAH. 633 00:23:08,187 --> 00:23:10,523 [music starts] 634 00:23:10,623 --> 00:23:11,658 OH MY GOD! 635 00:23:11,758 --> 00:23:14,894 I TOLD YOU THERE WOULD BE SURPRISES! 636 00:23:14,994 --> 00:23:16,496 WHOO! 637 00:23:16,596 --> 00:23:18,998 BET YOU'RE ALL WISHING YOU HAD A NURSE LIKE THIS. 638 00:23:19,098 --> 00:23:22,134 [cheering] 639 00:23:24,103 --> 00:23:25,905 WHOO! 640 00:23:34,180 --> 00:23:39,085 WHOO! 641 00:23:39,185 --> 00:23:40,352 WHOA! 642 00:23:40,453 --> 00:23:41,654 OKAY! 643 00:23:44,223 --> 00:23:45,124 OH HEY. 644 00:23:45,224 --> 00:23:47,560 SO I JUST GOT REALLY HIGH, 645 00:23:47,660 --> 00:23:49,629 AND I HAD THE WEIRDEST FUCKING THING HAPPEN. 646 00:23:49,729 --> 00:23:51,063 I'M GETTING A DIVORCE. 647 00:23:51,163 --> 00:23:52,565 OH MY GOSH. 648 00:24:04,811 --> 00:24:07,847 [cheering] 649 00:24:17,256 --> 00:24:18,157 OH SHIT. 650 00:24:18,257 --> 00:24:19,158 OH MY GOSH. 651 00:24:19,258 --> 00:24:20,459 CUT THE MUSIC! 652 00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:21,528 OH MY GOSH. 653 00:24:21,628 --> 00:24:22,662 CUT THE MUSIC! 654 00:24:22,762 --> 00:24:23,963 OH. 655 00:24:24,063 --> 00:24:25,532 OH YEAH. NURSE. 656 00:24:25,632 --> 00:24:26,566 NURSE! 657 00:24:26,666 --> 00:24:28,067 WHAT ARE YOU-- WHAT'S HAPPENING? 658 00:24:28,167 --> 00:24:29,068 SHE'S NOT A NURSE. 659 00:24:29,168 --> 00:24:30,136 NOW DO SOMETHING! 660 00:24:30,236 --> 00:24:31,437 UH... 661 00:24:31,538 --> 00:24:32,939 OKAY, OKAY, WHAT'S ALL THE COMMOTION? 662 00:24:33,039 --> 00:24:33,940 OH, OFFICER. 663 00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:34,941 WE GOT A MAN DOWN, 664 00:24:35,041 --> 00:24:36,809 AND THIS WOMAN IS NOT A NURSE. 665 00:24:36,909 --> 00:24:37,910 YEAH, UH... 666 00:24:38,010 --> 00:24:39,946 I TOOK A CLASS! 667 00:24:40,046 --> 00:24:41,180 I TOOK A CLASS, WE'LL DO A TWO MAN VERSION 668 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:42,615 YOU'RE GONNA DO THE BACK, 669 00:24:42,715 --> 00:24:43,816 YOU'RE GONNA BREATHE-- AND WHATEVER THAT ENTAILS, 670 00:24:43,916 --> 00:24:46,118 AND I'M GONNA-- AND I'M GONNA SMUSH THE HEART. 671 00:24:46,218 --> 00:24:47,419 OH SHIT! 672 00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:48,420 IS HE DEAD? 673 00:24:48,521 --> 00:24:49,421 WHAT? 674 00:24:49,522 --> 00:24:51,090 LISTEN, LISTEN TO ME! 675 00:24:51,190 --> 00:24:55,427 THIS IS WHAT YOU WERE TRAINED FOR! 676 00:24:55,528 --> 00:24:56,495 HE'S A STRIPPER. 677 00:24:56,596 --> 00:24:57,496 THEY'RE BOTH STRIPPERS. 678 00:24:57,597 --> 00:24:58,531 DO SOMETHING! 679 00:24:58,631 --> 00:24:59,532 DOCTOR?! 680 00:24:59,632 --> 00:25:01,668 IS SOMEONE HERE A DOCTOR? 681 00:25:01,768 --> 00:25:02,969 IS ANYBODY A DOCTOR? 682 00:25:03,069 --> 00:25:04,003 THERE'S NO DOCTOR! 683 00:25:04,103 --> 00:25:05,672 OKAY, YOU TOOK THE CLASS. 684 00:25:05,772 --> 00:25:06,673 COME ON, DO IT, DO IT, DO IT. 685 00:25:06,773 --> 00:25:07,840 IT'S A SERIES-- 686 00:25:07,940 --> 00:25:09,742 IT'S A SERIES OF BREATHS AND COMPRESSIONS-- 687 00:25:09,842 --> 00:25:12,178 OH! 15 TO TWO RATIO. 688 00:25:12,278 --> 00:25:13,946 THAT'S RIGHT, 15 TO TWO RATIO. 689 00:25:14,046 --> 00:25:15,047 HERE WE GO. I WAS A GIRL SCOUT. 690 00:25:15,147 --> 00:25:16,048 COME ON. 691 00:25:16,148 --> 00:25:17,950 IT'S OKAY, COME ON. 692 00:25:18,050 --> 00:25:23,756 COME ON. 693 00:25:23,856 --> 00:25:24,924 TWO. 694 00:25:25,024 --> 00:25:26,826 THREE. 695 00:25:26,926 --> 00:25:29,028 OH NO, IT'S THE OTHER WAY AROUND! 696 00:25:29,128 --> 00:25:30,029 JUST TWO BREATHS. 697 00:25:30,129 --> 00:25:31,163 NO, YOU CAN'T TELL ME THAT NOW! 698 00:25:31,263 --> 00:25:32,665 TWO BREATHS, TWO BREATHS, TWO BREATHS. 699 00:25:32,765 --> 00:25:33,733 BRUCE, NO DON'T BE DEAD! 700 00:25:33,833 --> 00:25:34,934 DON'T BE DEAD, 701 00:25:35,034 --> 00:25:36,235 OH GOD BRUCE, PLEASE DON'T BE DEAD. 702 00:25:36,335 --> 00:25:37,870 OH PLEASE BRUCE! 703 00:25:37,970 --> 00:25:39,538 BRUCE, PLEASE LIVE! 704 00:25:39,639 --> 00:25:40,707 I'M TOO YOUNG! 705 00:25:40,807 --> 00:25:42,008 YOU CAN'T DIE! 706 00:25:42,108 --> 00:25:44,243 BRUCE, PLEASE, PLEASE. 707 00:25:44,343 --> 00:25:46,813 LIVE, DAMMIT, YOU BASTARD! 708 00:25:46,913 --> 00:25:53,219 OKAY, THAT'S ONE. 709 00:25:53,319 --> 00:25:54,220 WHOO! 710 00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:58,725 [clapping] 711 00:25:58,825 --> 00:26:00,092 IS THIS PART OF THE SEMINAR? 712 00:26:00,192 --> 00:26:01,694 YES! 713 00:26:01,794 --> 00:26:03,029 YES IT IS. 714 00:26:03,129 --> 00:26:05,031 YES IT'S PART OF THE SEMINAR. 715 00:26:05,131 --> 00:26:07,233 YOU SEE, YOU GOTTA BE PREPARED, 716 00:26:07,333 --> 00:26:08,768 YOU GOTTA BE SEXY! 717 00:26:08,868 --> 00:26:10,737 [cheers] 718 00:26:10,837 --> 00:26:12,905 SENIORLICIOUS! 719 00:26:13,005 --> 00:26:14,040 WHOO! 720 00:26:14,140 --> 00:26:17,176 TELL YOUR FRIENDS! 721 00:26:17,276 --> 00:26:18,711 SORRY, I THOUGHT THIS WAS THE MEN'S ROOM. 722 00:26:18,811 --> 00:26:19,712 JESUS! 723 00:26:19,812 --> 00:26:20,980 IT'S NOT. 724 00:26:23,950 --> 00:26:26,986 * 725 00:26:31,924 --> 00:26:33,726 AND AGAIN SERVICE-- 726 00:26:33,826 --> 00:26:35,061 KNOCK IT OFF! 727 00:26:35,161 --> 00:26:36,062 EXCELLENT. 728 00:26:36,162 --> 00:26:37,196 CAN'T GET ANY HIGHER THAN THAT. 729 00:26:37,296 --> 00:26:39,632 OH HENRY, WHERE'VE YOU BEEN? 730 00:26:39,732 --> 00:26:40,767 GUESS WHAT? 731 00:26:40,867 --> 00:26:42,301 THE BAR'S NOT GONNA PACK ITSELF. 732 00:26:42,401 --> 00:26:46,038 WHERE'S CONSTANCE? 733 00:26:46,138 --> 00:26:47,840 SO UH, SEE YOU LATER THEN. 734 00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:50,009 SEE YOU LATER. OKAY. 735 00:26:53,646 --> 00:26:55,081 HEY CASEY, GRAB THOSE BOXES FOR ME. 736 00:26:55,181 --> 00:26:56,082 YEP. 737 00:26:56,182 --> 00:26:58,184 NO, CALM DOWN. 738 00:26:58,284 --> 00:27:02,689 HEY UM, CASEY I JUST WANTED TO SAY 739 00:27:02,789 --> 00:27:04,991 THAT WE HEARD WHAT'S HAPPENING IN YOUR PERSONAL LIFE 740 00:27:05,091 --> 00:27:06,092 WITH YOUR MARRIAGE AND STUFF, 741 00:27:06,192 --> 00:27:08,060 I WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW 742 00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,029 THAT IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, 743 00:27:10,129 --> 00:27:12,064 SOMEONE TO TALK TO, YOU KNOW, 744 00:27:12,164 --> 00:27:13,099 MAYBE YOU JUST NEED A HUG. 745 00:27:13,199 --> 00:27:19,706 SO NI-- OH THANKS ROMAN. 746 00:27:19,806 --> 00:27:20,940 WHAT THE FUCK? 747 00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:24,343 OH FUCK LOOK, I-- THAT-- 748 00:27:24,443 --> 00:27:26,245 IS THAT-- REAL-- OKAY, SURE. 749 00:27:26,345 --> 00:27:29,081 IN MY POCKET. 750 00:27:29,181 --> 00:27:30,917 FUCK. 751 00:27:31,017 --> 00:27:32,985 SNAP, MOTHERFUCKER! 752 00:27:33,085 --> 00:27:33,986 OW! 753 00:27:34,086 --> 00:27:35,054 [laughs] 754 00:27:35,154 --> 00:27:38,190 * 755 00:27:45,231 --> 00:27:48,267 * 756 00:28:05,251 --> 00:28:08,287 * 757 00:28:16,763 --> 00:28:19,031 ** 758 00:28:19,131 --> 00:28:22,168 T-R-E-E, TREE.