1 00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:17,418 YOU OWE ME TEN BUCKS. FOR WHAT? 2 00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:19,253 "BARETTA." PROP GUN, SEASON ONE. 3 00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:20,721 I WAS RIGHT, PAY UP. 4 00:00:20,821 --> 00:00:22,623 THIS DOESN'T PROVE ANYTHING. 5 00:00:22,723 --> 00:00:24,592 THEY CALLED HIM "BARETTA" BECAUSE HE WAS ITALIAN, 6 00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:26,660 HIS NAME WAS BARETTA NOT 'CAUSE HE HAD A BERETTA. 7 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:27,695 WHERE DID YOU GET THIS? 8 00:00:27,795 --> 00:00:29,097 SOUVENIR. 9 00:00:29,197 --> 00:00:31,965 I HAD A LINE ON THE SHOW. 10 00:00:32,066 --> 00:00:33,434 "LOOKING'S FREE. 11 00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,969 TOUCHIN'LL COST YA." 12 00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:37,238 YOU PLAYED A HOOKER ON BARETTA? 13 00:00:37,338 --> 00:00:38,972 I PLAYED AN ASPIRING MUSICIAN. 14 00:00:39,073 --> 00:00:40,541 WHO SAYS "TOUCHIN'LL COST YOU? " 15 00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:41,975 SOUNDS LIKE A HOOKER. 16 00:00:42,076 --> 00:00:44,145 SHE WAS A YOUNG MUSICIAN WHO TURNING TRICKS 17 00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:46,380 TO PAY HER BILLS BECAUSE HER ABUSIVE BOYFRIEND 18 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:47,548 HAD TAKEN HER LIFE SAVINGS. 19 00:00:47,648 --> 00:00:48,982 I THOUGHT YOU SAID IT WAS A LINE? 20 00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:50,251 YOU SEE THAT'S THE CHALLENGE, 21 00:00:50,351 --> 00:00:51,519 TO CREATE THIS COMPLEX CHARACTER 22 00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:53,187 WITH A SINGLE LINE. 23 00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:54,388 OH SNAP. 24 00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:55,623 WHAT'S WITH THE GUN? 25 00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:58,492 IT'S BLAKE'S PROP GUN FROM BARETTA. 26 00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:00,361 CONSTANCE, WHAT WAS YOUR CHARACTER'S NAME. 27 00:01:00,461 --> 00:01:02,663 "HOOKER." HOOKER, WELL HOOKER-- 28 00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:05,133 SO THAT'S WHY HE WAS CALLED BARETTA, HUH? 29 00:01:05,233 --> 00:01:07,000 NO! HE WAS JUST ITALIAN 30 00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:09,637 AND NO ONE EVER HOLDS A GUN LIKE THAT. 31 00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:13,006 IF HER NAME'S "HOOKER" CONSTANCE, SHE WAS A HOOKER. 32 00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:14,275 NO IT'S, LIKE I'M A WAITER. 33 00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:15,676 YOU ARE A WAITER. 34 00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:17,278 NO, I'M AN ACTOR. 35 00:01:17,378 --> 00:01:19,012 WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU ACTED? 36 00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:20,448 WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WERE A WRITER? 37 00:01:20,548 --> 00:01:22,483 FUCK YOU, I'VE WRITTEN, THREE SCRIPTS, 38 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,418 I'VE WRITTEN TWO NOVELS-- 39 00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:26,454 UH, YOU HAVEN'T WRITE TWO NOVELS. 40 00:01:26,554 --> 00:01:28,289 I'M HALFWAY THROUGH FOUR NOVELS, 41 00:01:28,389 --> 00:01:29,790 SO THAT'S TWO NOVELS. 42 00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:31,459 YOU'RE A WAITER. I AM NOT! 43 00:01:31,559 --> 00:01:32,560 YEAH, YOU ARE. 44 00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:35,196 I'M A WAITER LIKE EINSTEIN WAS A PATENT CLERK, 45 00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:36,197 YOU ASSHOLE! 46 00:01:36,297 --> 00:01:37,765 EINSTEIN WASN'T IN THE ARMY. 47 00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:39,800 COME ON, NONE OF US ARE WAITERS. 48 00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:42,136 OH MY GOD! WELL, EXCEPT FOR HENRY. 49 00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:52,580 [ beeping ] 50 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:53,781 GOTCHA. 51 00:01:53,881 --> 00:01:55,216 THAT WAS REALLY FUNNY. 52 00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:57,218 LOOK AT YOU SAD FACE, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY 53 00:01:57,318 --> 00:01:58,819 TO GET YOUR BALLS WAXED. 54 00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:00,188 I WISH. 55 00:02:00,288 --> 00:02:01,822 NOPE, THIS IS THE FACE OF A MAN 56 00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:05,125 WHO HAS TO WAIT THREE DAYS FOR HIS VICODIN REFILL. 57 00:02:05,226 --> 00:02:06,227 YOU GOTTA BAD BACK OR SOMETHING? 58 00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:09,397 I DO, UM-- 59 00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:11,131 YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENED. 60 00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:13,434 BUT THE OTHER NIGHT 61 00:02:13,534 --> 00:02:16,804 AT WORK, A COLLEAGUE-- 62 00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:20,341 THREW ME DOWN ON A COUCH AND RAVISHED ME. 63 00:02:20,441 --> 00:02:22,443 WEIRD. IT WAS VERY SURPRISING. 64 00:02:22,543 --> 00:02:26,714 YEAH, I THINK MAYBE UM... 65 00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:28,516 I NEED TO APOLOGIZE. 66 00:02:28,616 --> 00:02:30,251 YOU NEW TO APOLO-- SEE THIS IS NEW FOR ME, 67 00:02:30,351 --> 00:02:32,186 CAUSE USUALLY I'M THE ONE APOLOGIZING 68 00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:34,355 AFTER SEX. YEAH. NO, NO, NO, 69 00:02:34,455 --> 00:02:36,824 IT'S JUST, I DON'T KNOW, I NEEDED LIKE 70 00:02:36,924 --> 00:02:39,260 UM-- A CLEAN BREAK FROM I GUESS 71 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:42,663 FROM THE HUSBAND AND THE DIVORCE AND ALL THAT SO-- 72 00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:46,300 I THINK MAYBE I WAS PERHAPS A TINY BIT IRRESPONSIBLE. 73 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,102 AND I JUST WANTED TO SAY SOMETHING AND YOU KNOW. 74 00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:53,441 APOLOGIZE SO YOU DON'T FEEL USED OR WHATEVER. 75 00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:54,742 WELL, I DO NOW. 76 00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:56,877 YOU DO FEEL USED NOW, OKAY. 77 00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:04,485 THIS MEAN YOU DON'T WANT TO READ THE SONNETS I COMPOSED? 78 00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:06,153 SONNETS? YEAH. 79 00:03:06,254 --> 00:03:08,155 IT WAS THAT GOOD FOR YA, HUH? 80 00:03:08,256 --> 00:03:10,558 WELL-- WELL THE SEX WAS ADEQUATE, 81 00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:14,762 BUT THE CONNECTION TO ANOTHER LIVING SOUL 82 00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:18,198 IN MY ABYSS OF LONELINESS AND DESPAIR THAT-- 83 00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:20,401 THAT WAS PROFOUNDLY MOVING. 84 00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:22,670 SEX WAS ADEQUATE? 85 00:03:22,770 --> 00:03:25,205 NO SORRY, IT WAS FINE, YOU WERE PROBABLY DISTRACTED, 86 00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:26,807 OR SOMETHING. 87 00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:28,276 RIGHT. 88 00:03:45,393 --> 00:03:46,560 SORRY. 89 00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:48,228 IT'S ALL RIGHT. 90 00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:49,697 YOU GUYS SEE THIS PLACE? 91 00:03:49,797 --> 00:03:51,465 THIS IS EXACTLY THE KINDA PLACE I'M GONNA HAVE. 92 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,801 THIS-- THIS IS A REAL PORSCHE, 93 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:56,169 WE'RE DEFINITELY PUTTING OUT THE TIP JAR TONIGHT. 94 00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:59,172 WHAT THE HELL? I LEFT MESSAGES, KHAKIS, 95 00:03:59,273 --> 00:04:00,641 THE HOST WANTS US TO WEAR KHAKIS, 96 00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,643 WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH GUYS? 97 00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:06,547 MR. COROLLA. EVERYONE I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET 98 00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:08,582 MR. TONY COROLLA, OUR HOST. 99 00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:09,617 I THOUGHT I SAID KHAKIS. 100 00:04:09,717 --> 00:04:11,452 YOU DID. I DON'T KNOW WHAT-- 101 00:04:11,552 --> 00:04:14,955 OKAY, WELL, I'M PRESENTING A BUSINESS VENTURE TONIGHT, 102 00:04:15,055 --> 00:04:17,257 SO THIS'LL BE MORE WORK THAN PLEASURE. 103 00:04:17,358 --> 00:04:19,627 "MORE WORK THAN PLEASURE," THAT IS OUR MOTTO. 104 00:04:19,727 --> 00:04:22,763 UM OKAY, I JUST WANT TO GO OVER THE GROUND RULES. 105 00:04:22,863 --> 00:04:26,367 THESE'LL BE PEOPLE FROM MY CLUB, BUSINESS ASSOCIATES, 106 00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:27,568 WEALTHY INVESTORS, 107 00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:29,537 HEY, HEY, HEY. PEOPLE LIKE THAT. 108 00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:31,972 IF YOU SAW "CADDYSHACK" YOU KNOW THE TYPE. 109 00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:34,308 THE ELITE. 110 00:04:34,408 --> 00:04:36,510 SO BE ACCOMMODATING, 111 00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:39,347 AND PLEASE CONFINE YOURSELVES TO WORK AREAS. 112 00:04:39,447 --> 00:04:40,614 AND I KNOW RECEPTION'S BAD HERE, 113 00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:42,883 BUT PLEASE DON'T USE HOUSE PHONES. 114 00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:44,852 I WON'T WORRY THAT, MR. COROLLA. 115 00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:46,219 I'M ALL OVER IT. 116 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:47,621 UM-HMM, EXCEPT THE PANTS. 117 00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:49,657 NOTHING I COULD-- 118 00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:52,225 SO, ONE OF YOU KNOWS POWER POINT? 119 00:04:52,326 --> 00:04:53,661 "GUMPTION AND GUTS. 120 00:04:53,761 --> 00:04:56,296 THE RISE OF TONY COROLLA, SELF-MADE MAN." 121 00:04:56,397 --> 00:04:58,265 AH, "LAND HO, 122 00:04:58,366 --> 00:05:00,834 SAVVY PLUS PERSEVERANCE MAKES VISION A REALITY." 123 00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:02,370 HEY ROMAN, GOOGLE ME IN TEN YEARS, 124 00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:03,437 THAT'S GOING TO BE ME. 125 00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:05,606 ONLY WAY I'M GOOGLING YOU IN TEN YEARS, 126 00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:07,575 IF YOU GET VERY CREATIVE IN THE WAY 127 00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:08,776 THAT YOU KILL YOURSELF. 128 00:05:08,876 --> 00:05:10,277 WELL THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN. 129 00:05:10,378 --> 00:05:11,979 THEN I WON'T BE GOOGLING YOU. 130 00:05:12,079 --> 00:05:13,881 AHH, LOOK AT THIS PLACE? 131 00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:16,584 HENRY, HENRY, HOW MUCH YOU THINK OUR HOST PULLS IN 132 00:05:16,684 --> 00:05:18,419 PER ANNUM? BEST GUESS. 133 00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:20,754 I DON'T KNOW...A 100 THOUSAND DOLLARS? 134 00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:23,524 COME ON STOP PULLING MY LEG, SERIOUSLY.. 135 00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:24,925 TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS? 136 00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:27,595 SQUARED, MAYBE. 137 00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:29,262 FOUR BILLION? 138 00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:30,931 AH... 139 00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:32,265 HEY HENRY, 140 00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:34,267 YOU'RE AWARE SOUP R'CRACKERS IS THE FASTEST GROWING 141 00:05:34,368 --> 00:05:35,703 NON-POULTRY, NON-COFFEE, FRANCHISE. 142 00:05:35,803 --> 00:05:37,270 IN ALL OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA, RIGHT? 143 00:05:37,371 --> 00:05:39,006 YOU MAY HAVE MENTIONED IT-- 144 00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:42,776 WELL I HAVE TEN G'S PULLING FOUR PERCENT OF B OF A, 145 00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:45,379 I GOT A BUSINESS PLAN AND I GOT ALAN DUK IN AS PARTNER 146 00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:46,514 FOR FRANCHISE FEES. 147 00:05:46,614 --> 00:05:48,348 OKAY SO I'M GET ONE, I'M GO ANOTHER, 148 00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:50,350 I'M GONNA GET ONE, TWO BOOM I'M GONNA MOVE SLOW, 149 00:05:50,451 --> 00:05:51,752 BUT BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, 150 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,654 UNTIL-- 151 00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:54,688 FOUR BILLION DOLLARS. 152 00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:57,558 YE-HEH! I MEAN I THINK IT'S GREAT 153 00:05:57,658 --> 00:05:59,326 THAT YOU GUYS ARE SEEING THIS, I REALLY DO. 154 00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:01,962 BECAUSE SUCCESS ISN'T BEING DISCOVERED. 155 00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:03,697 NO OFFENSE, ALL RIGHT? 156 00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:06,634 TO SUCCEED, YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT MR. COROLLA DOES, 157 00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:08,636 YOU HAVE TO DO IT THROUGH HARD WORK AND VISION. 158 00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:11,872 I BELIEVE HENRY HAD VISION AND HE WORKED HARD, 159 00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:13,441 AND THEN HE FAILED MISERABLY. 160 00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:15,976 WELL, 161 00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:18,011 EXCEPTION PROVES THE RULE. 162 00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:21,081 SO LIKE, HAVE YOU EVERY MADE OUT WITH TWO CHICKS? 163 00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:23,517 KYLE, KYLE, FOR THE TENTH TIME 164 00:06:23,617 --> 00:06:25,919 I'M NOT ANSWERING THIS QUESTION. 165 00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:27,788 JUST THINK OF ONE QUESTION-- I WAS JUST WONDERING. 166 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:28,989 FREEZE! 167 00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:31,459 WHAT THE FUCK, ROMAN?! 168 00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:32,760 IT'S A FAKE GUN. 169 00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:33,794 [ everyone yelling ] 170 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:37,064 DON'T DO IT NOT TODAY. YOU FAT FUCK! 171 00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:38,666 IT'S A FAKE...FUCKIN' GUN 172 00:06:38,766 --> 00:06:39,733 GIVE ME A BREAK. 173 00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:41,802 RON, IT'S BARETTA'S PROP GUN. 174 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,837 FROM THE SHOW, IT'S WHY THEY CALLED HIM BARETTA. 175 00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:45,839 NO, HE WAS ITALIAN THAT'S-- 176 00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:47,040 HEY, EVERYONE OKAY IN HERE? 177 00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:49,877 OH, MR. COROLLA. 178 00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:52,345 IT'S A SMALL MISUNDERSTANDING. 179 00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:53,346 WHAT THE HELL? 180 00:06:53,447 --> 00:06:55,749 AH, A PROP GUN. 181 00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:57,951 THEATER PEOPLE. 182 00:06:58,051 --> 00:07:02,490 SO OKAY, I'M PUTTING THIS GUN IN A BAG HERE 183 00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:04,758 AND IT STAYS IN HERE AND NOBODY TOUCHES IT 184 00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:06,026 FOR THE REST OF THE EVENING. 185 00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:07,127 WELL YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT A GUN 186 00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:09,429 IN THE FIRST ACT, RON? 187 00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:11,098 FIRST ACT OF WHAT? 188 00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:33,153 HERE YOU ARE. 189 00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:36,456 AND-- 190 00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:38,826 DID A LITTLE SURVEYING. YEP. 191 00:07:38,926 --> 00:07:42,129 LOCKED EYES WITH THREE THONGS, OH MY GOD. 192 00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:44,632 BEST THING ABOUT MONEY, HAS GOTTA BE, TROPHY WIVES. 193 00:07:44,732 --> 00:07:48,435 YOU'RE 80, WIFE'S LIKE 25 IN A THONG AND SHAVED. 194 00:07:48,536 --> 00:07:49,837 I CAN'T WAIT. 195 00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:51,104 I THINK THAT'S WHAT CASEY DID WRONG. 196 00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:52,873 SHE GOT MARRIED BEFORE SHE HIT IT BIG. 197 00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,675 YEAH HER EX-HUSBAND 198 00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:56,476 BARELY EVER SHAVED HIS PUBIC HAIR. 199 00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:57,511 HI, WELCOME. 200 00:07:57,611 --> 00:07:58,512 CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING? 201 00:07:58,612 --> 00:07:59,713 HANG THIS UP ON A WOOD HANGER. 202 00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:02,683 MAKE SOME SANDWICHES FOR MY DRIVER, 203 00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:03,817 HE'LL EAT THEM IN BACK. 204 00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:05,418 HAM, I DON'T CARE. 205 00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:08,822 AND I'LL HAVE A BOXCAR, OKAY? 206 00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:11,692 YOU'D LOOK A LOT PRETTIER IF YOU SMILED, SWEETHEART. 207 00:08:13,794 --> 00:08:17,464 WHAT A DICK. 208 00:08:17,565 --> 00:08:19,667 AWESOME SPEAKERS, RIGHT? 209 00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:20,701 VON SCHWEIKERTS. 210 00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:21,935 YEAH, I KNOW. 211 00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:23,804 THOSE THINGS MUST KICK ASS. 212 00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:24,938 MY DAD SAID HE'D GET ME A PAIR 213 00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:26,907 IF I MADE DEAN'S LIST AT TUFTS. 214 00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,610 WOW DUDE, HOPE YOU MADE IT. 215 00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:33,581 NOPE, BUT I GUILTED HIM INTO IT AFTER HE DIVORCED MY MOM. 216 00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:36,850 NICE. DUDE! 217 00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,686 YOU WERE ON GREEK, RIGHT? 218 00:08:38,786 --> 00:08:41,989 THE PI SIG WHO MADE RANDY BEER BONG A SIXER. 219 00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:43,624 THAT'S ME. 220 00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:45,058 I SAID SOYBEANS, YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME. 221 00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:46,594 CORN, CORN IS WHERE IT'S AT. 222 00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:47,961 RON! YES, MR. COROLLA? 223 00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:50,931 THIS IS MRS. BERSTEN, ONE OF OUR POTENTIAL INVESTORS-- 224 00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,465 AH, WELL, LET ME ASSURE YOU, 225 00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:54,602 THAT TONY KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT HE'S DOING-- 226 00:08:54,702 --> 00:08:56,570 ACTUALLY RON, JASPER HAD A BIT 227 00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:57,771 OF AN ACCIDENT IN THE FOYER, 228 00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:58,872 I NEED YOU TAKE CARE OF THAT? 229 00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:00,140 OH NO I WAS JUST IN THE FOYER, 230 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,009 I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING. 231 00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:11,051 I'LL HAVE ONE OF MY PEOPLE TAKE CARE OF IT. 232 00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:12,552 EXCELLENT. 233 00:09:16,824 --> 00:09:17,991 NOTHING 234 00:09:26,867 --> 00:09:28,769 HEY, WHAT'D MR. COROLLA SAY ABOUT THE PHONE? 235 00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:30,904 WHAT IS THAT ON YOUR SHOE? 236 00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:32,973 THERE'S A TRAIL OF DOG SHIT BY THE FRONT DOOR, HANDLE IT. 237 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:35,508 NO, CAN'T DO THAT. 238 00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:36,944 I'M YOUR BOSS AND THAT'S AN ORDER . 239 00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:39,179 OKAY WELL, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO PHYSICALLY OVERPOWER ME, 240 00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:40,748 IF YOU WANT ME TO DO THAT, SO. 241 00:09:40,848 --> 00:09:43,550 I MEAN, I GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE, RON, SERIOUSLY, 242 00:09:43,651 --> 00:09:46,053 SHIT? I MEAN, COME ON, IT'S CRAZY. 243 00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:48,188 OKAY HOW ABOUT THIS, IF YOU DON'T, YOU'RE FIRED. 244 00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:50,624 OKAY IF YOU FIRE ME, THEN I'M GONNA CALL ALAN DUK, 245 00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:54,194 AND TELL HIM YOU CLEANED OF YOUR SHIT SHOE IN THE CLIENT'S SINK. 246 00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:56,930 AND USED A COMPANY FORK TO SCRAP OFF THE REST OF IT. 247 00:09:57,030 --> 00:10:01,669 ALL RIGHT AND I'LL DENY IT. 248 00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:04,137 NO. YEAH. 249 00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:06,606 OH. 250 00:10:07,775 --> 00:10:10,077 THIS DOG SHIT KNOWS WHO'S BOSS. 251 00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:13,947 YEAH I FIGURED I'D EITHER GO M3 OR CLK, RIGHT? 252 00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:15,716 M3, MAN, THAT'S THE WAY TO GO. 253 00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:16,984 MERCEDES IS NICE, 254 00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:18,618 BUT 88 YOU WANT THOSE EXTRA HORSES 255 00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:19,753 WHEN YOU RIPPIN' THROUGH THE CANYONS 256 00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:20,954 ABSOLUTELY. WOW. 257 00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:22,856 MARTINI, "VERY DRY." 258 00:10:27,194 --> 00:10:28,561 DAMN, 259 00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:30,864 YOU MUST BE ONE SHITTY BARTENDER. 260 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,632 RECESSION. 261 00:10:33,901 --> 00:10:35,335 IT IS, TRUE. 262 00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:45,112 IT'S AN AWKWARD SILENCE. 263 00:10:45,212 --> 00:10:47,681 IT'S PRETTY AWKWARD, YEAH. 264 00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:49,216 WOW. 265 00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:50,951 DID YOU MEAN WHAT YOU SAID EARLIER? 266 00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:54,021 WHAT ABOUT LIKE A-- 267 00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:57,257 CONNECTING AND SOULS? 268 00:10:57,357 --> 00:11:01,862 NO, ABOUT THE SEX BEING ADEQUATE. 269 00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:04,998 LOOK, NO I JUST-- 270 00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:06,366 NO, NO IT'S FINE. 271 00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:08,301 I JUST-- 272 00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:11,905 I JUST NEED YOU TO KNOW THAT I'M NOT THE PANCAKE LADY. 273 00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,673 THE PANCAKE LADY? 274 00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:15,608 THE PANCAKE LADY, SHE MAKES THE BEST PANCAKES 275 00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:16,744 IN ALL OF THE KINGDOM, 276 00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:18,879 BUT SHE'LL ONLY MAKES ONE PANCAKE FOR EVERY PERSON. 277 00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:20,147 I'VE NEVER HEARD THIS FABLE 278 00:11:20,247 --> 00:11:21,681 ARE YOU SERIOUS-- AH OKAY 279 00:11:21,782 --> 00:11:24,752 SO, STRANGER RIDES IN TO TOWN 280 00:11:24,852 --> 00:11:26,954 AND HE SAY'S HEY CAN I GET ONE OF THESE PANCAKES 281 00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:28,922 EVERYBODY'S RAVING ABOUT? 282 00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:31,224 SO SHE MAKES HIM ONE AND HE EATS IT. 283 00:11:31,324 --> 00:11:34,762 HE SAYS, "THAT'S GOOD, A DECENT PANCAKE 284 00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:37,364 NOT LIKE THE BEST I'VE EVER HAD OR ANYTHING. 285 00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:40,033 I DON'T KNOW MAYBE YOU WERE DISTRACTED." RIGHT. 286 00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:41,368 SO SHE MAKES HIM ANOTHER ONE 287 00:11:41,468 --> 00:11:42,635 AND THEN ANOTHER, AND ANOTHER, 288 00:11:42,736 --> 00:11:44,337 SHE MAKES HIM LIKE A WHOLE BUNCH OF PANCAKES 289 00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:46,039 AND HE'S FULL AND HE SAYS TO HER, 290 00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:47,808 "LISTEN I HAVE TO ADMIT, 291 00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:52,780 THAT ACTUALLY WAS ONE EPIC PANCAKE." 292 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:54,147 SO SHE CUTS HIM OFF. 293 00:11:54,247 --> 00:11:57,250 SEE THE THING IS THE FIRST PANCAKE 294 00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:59,652 SHE MADE FOR HIM WAS EPIC. 295 00:11:59,753 --> 00:12:01,188 HE WAS JUST MESSING WITH HER MIND, MAN. 296 00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:05,658 HE WAS TRICKING HER INTO PUTTING OUT, PANCAKES. 297 00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:07,895 WHICH IS HILARIOUS I THINK BECAUSE, 298 00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:11,098 REALLY THE PANCAKE LADY, SHE WAS JUST TOSSING HIM THAT FIRST ONE 299 00:12:11,198 --> 00:12:15,668 AS A SYMPATHY PANCAKE ANYWAY SO. 300 00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:17,905 WELL, THE PANCAKE LADY SOUNDS LIKE A WHORE. 301 00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:20,273 AH, BOURBON AND COKE. 302 00:12:24,044 --> 00:12:27,014 UH TED? 303 00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:28,081 NO. 304 00:12:28,181 --> 00:12:29,749 NOT TED. 305 00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:31,018 SORRY. OKAY. 306 00:12:31,118 --> 00:12:33,954 SORRY, YOU LOOKED LIKE SOMEONE. 307 00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:35,455 AH, ALL LOOK ALIKE, RIGHT? 308 00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:38,859 NO, NO, MY MISTAKE, SORRY. 309 00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:41,962 GOOD LUCK OUT THERE. 310 00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:43,763 GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE. 311 00:12:43,864 --> 00:12:46,099 WHEN WE'VE TALKED, AT THE CLUB, OR ON THE LINKS, 312 00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:47,300 OR OVER DINNER, 313 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,437 I'VE ALWAYS SAID, "MY BUSINESS IS MAKING MONEY." 314 00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:52,139 IT'S THE ONLY THING I'M GOOD AT. 315 00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:54,007 [ chuckling ] THOSE OF YOU WHO'VE PLAYED GOLF WITH ME 316 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,008 CAN VOUCH FOR THAT. 317 00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:56,709 I'LL VOUCH FOR THAT! 318 00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:57,878 THANKS GERALD. 319 00:12:57,978 --> 00:13:00,080 WELL, I HAVEN'T BEEN PLAYING MUCH GOLF LATELY. 320 00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:02,715 LIKE A LOT OF YOU, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FIGURE OUT, 321 00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:05,252 IN THESE TOUGH TIMES, WHEN EVERYTHING'S GOING DOWN, 322 00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:06,920 WHAT'S GOING UP. 323 00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:08,788 WELL, I FOUND IT, 324 00:13:08,889 --> 00:13:11,358 AND I WANTED TO GIVE YOU ALL THE CHANCE TO JOIN IN. 325 00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:15,328 MR. COROLLA, I CLEANED UP THE DOG SHIT. 326 00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:18,231 THIS IS A SEASIDE VILLAGE IN BAJA. 327 00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:21,801 IT'S BARELY EVEN A TOWN, IT'S A GOLD MINE. 328 00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:23,770 AND I NEED YOUR HELP TO BUY IT. 329 00:13:23,871 --> 00:13:25,205 AN ASSOCIATE OF MINE WORKS FOR A COMPANY 330 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,908 THAT BUILDS SOME OF THE WORLD'S MOST BEAUTIFUL RESORTS. 331 00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:29,009 TAKE A LOOK AT 'EM. 332 00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:31,144 I CAN TOTALLY GET US IN CLUB MILK. 333 00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:32,279 THE BOUNCER'S MY BOY. 334 00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:33,480 DUDE, I MET SOME SMOKIN' MODELS 335 00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:34,882 WHO WERE HEADED THERE LATER. 336 00:13:34,982 --> 00:13:35,883 NOT CATALOG, RIGHT? 337 00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:37,117 DUDE? NO, RUNWAY 338 00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:38,118 NICE, HIGH-END. 339 00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:39,219 WHAT TIME YOU GET OFF, MAN? 340 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,487 YOU WANNA HOOK UP WHEN WE'RE DONE MAKIN' MONEY? 341 00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:41,889 YEAH DUDE, MIDNIGHT? 342 00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:43,356 LET'S DO IT, BLOOD UP. 343 00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:45,525 MIDNIGHT, HUH? 344 00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:47,527 GONNA DO SOME NIGHTCLUBIN' SOME AFTER PARTY ACTION. 345 00:13:47,627 --> 00:13:49,329 TOTALLY UP FOR THAT, THAT'D BE COOL. 346 00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:50,898 WHERE WE GOING? WHAT CLUB? 347 00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:53,300 OH YEAH, WE HAVEN'T-- NOT REALLY SURE YET. 348 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,402 WORKING OUT THE DEETS? YEAH. 349 00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:56,503 WELL, I'M A GREAT WINGMAN, 350 00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:59,172 SO IF YOU GUYS ARE LOOKING TO NAIL SOME BABES. 351 00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:03,310 FOR SURE. 352 00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:06,846 IT'S COOL THOUGH. YEAH. 353 00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:09,249 I BETTER GO SLING SOME DEUVERS. 354 00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,884 DOWN LOW. RIGHT HERE. 355 00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:12,552 ALL RIGHT. GET IT. 356 00:14:15,655 --> 00:14:17,057 DUDE, IS SHE FOR REAL? 357 00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:18,926 SHE USED TO BE. 358 00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:20,460 NOT SO MUCH ANYMORE. 359 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:23,163 THIS VILLAGE IS WHAT HE WILL RECOMMEND 360 00:14:23,263 --> 00:14:24,531 NEXT WEEK. 361 00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:27,467 SO WITH YOUR HELP, I'D LIKE TO BUY THE WHOLE TOWN. 362 00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:32,039 LET'S LOOK AT SOME FIGURES. 363 00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:35,142 UH, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO CONFINE OURSELVES TO OUR WORK AREAS. 364 00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:36,276 YEAH, I KNOW THAT. 365 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:37,544 SO WHAT'RE YOU DOING? 366 00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:39,446 I'M LOOKING FOR A PHONE THAT WORKS SO I CAN CHECK MESSAGES. 367 00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:41,048 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 368 00:14:41,148 --> 00:14:43,350 WELL, USUALLY THE WEALTHY 369 00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:47,587 HAVE A LOT OF PRESCRIPTION MEDICATIONS. 370 00:14:47,687 --> 00:14:50,357 BY THE WAY, YOU DID MESS UP MY BACK. 371 00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:52,292 SORRY. SORRY. 372 00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:55,862 NOT WORTH IT. 373 00:14:55,963 --> 00:14:57,164 KINDA OF. 374 00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:06,006 AND YOU KNOW THERE ARE WORSE WAYS TO PASS TIME. 375 00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:08,241 THERE ARE WORSE WAYS TO PASS THE TIME. 376 00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:09,442 YEAH. 377 00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:11,111 I AGREE WITH THAT. 378 00:15:11,211 --> 00:15:14,982 ME TOO. 379 00:15:15,082 --> 00:15:16,916 I SHIT, I'M SORRY, I ALMOST FORGOT, 380 00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:20,587 YOU'RE NOT THE PANCAKE LADY. 381 00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:25,558 HEH, WHERE WE GO. 382 00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:30,964 HUH. 383 00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:33,100 WHAT? 384 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:36,236 WELL, NONE OF THE PHONES WORK? 385 00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:38,871 THIS MY PROMISE IS TO YOU. 386 00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:42,275 DOUBLE YOUR INVESTMENT IN 120 DAYS, 387 00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:44,177 EVEN AFTER I TAKE MY CUT. 388 00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,446 NOW, IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS? 389 00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:48,615 WHO DO I MAKE THE CHECK OUT TO? 390 00:15:56,023 --> 00:15:58,025 THIS IS SO GROSS. 391 00:15:58,125 --> 00:16:02,029 IT'S LIKE PEOPLE LINING UP TO SCREW OVER MEXICAN FAMILIES. 392 00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:04,064 AHH, YOU REALLY CAN'T TRUST WHITEY. 393 00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:06,599 WELL, DOUBLY TRUE. 394 00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:09,302 I THINK OUR HOST IS FLEECING THESE PEOPLE. 395 00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:10,903 GET OUTTA HERE. I'M SERIOUS. 396 00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:12,005 WHO'S FLEECING WHO? 397 00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:13,973 MR. COROLLA. 398 00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:16,143 I THINK THIS WHOLE THING IS A FUCKIN' SCAM. 399 00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:18,045 OH COME ON. 400 00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:19,446 YOU KNOW WHAT I DO KNOW THAT ASIAN GUY, 401 00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:20,680 I HAD AN ACTING CLASS WITH HIM. 402 00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:22,449 HIS NAME'S TED YANG. 403 00:16:22,549 --> 00:16:24,317 HE PRETENDED NOT TO KNOW ME. 404 00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:25,985 AND THE PHONES ARE DISCONNECTED. 405 00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:27,554 AND THE BATHROOM DRAWERS ARE EMPTY, EXCEPT 406 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:31,058 EXCEPT FOR A USED PILL BOTTLE FOR LIKE KIDNEY MEDS 407 00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:33,326 FOR DAWN SPANGLER, WHO THE FUCK IS DAWN SPANGLER? 408 00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:36,529 I DON'T THINK THIS IS HIS HOUSE. 409 00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:40,133 THIS IS ALL STARTING TO FEEL LIKE BULLSHIT. 410 00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:41,601 ARE YOU SHERLOCK HOLMES? 411 00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:43,470 I'M A HARDY BOY. 412 00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:46,406 THAT'S INCREDIBLE MAN, THAT'S GOOD. 413 00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:48,108 OKAY, SO WHAT DO WE DO? 414 00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:49,509 WIRE TRANSFER'S THE EASIEST, 415 00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:51,978 SO WE JUST PROVIDE ROUTING AND ACCOUNT NUMBERS. 416 00:16:52,079 --> 00:16:54,681 YEAH, GOOD, GOOD. 417 00:16:54,781 --> 00:16:57,484 SIR, AH YOU KNOW WHAT THIS DEAL MIGHT-- 418 00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:59,952 NEXT TIME, YOU MAKE ME A DRY MARTINI, 419 00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:04,224 MAKE ME A DRY MARTINI, OKAY? 420 00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:07,094 OKAY, AND WHEN YOU TWO FINISH EYE- FUCKING, 421 00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:10,297 GET ME A PEN. 422 00:17:10,397 --> 00:17:11,398 OF COURSE. THANK YOU. 423 00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:14,067 HERE YOU GO. 424 00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:16,002 BEST OF LUCK WITH YOUR BUSINESS VENTURE. 425 00:17:16,103 --> 00:17:20,006 UM, LOOKS LIKE A WINNER. 426 00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:21,574 FEEL FREE TO TIP. 427 00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:26,479 MEAN, MEAN MAN. 428 00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:30,483 ARE YOU TRYING TO MILK ME FOR INFORMATION, OLD MCDONALD. 429 00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:35,054 I'M NOT IN THE MOOOOOOOOOD. 430 00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:36,189 IT'S BRILLIANT. 431 00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:37,257 THANK YOU IT FELT REALLY GOOD. 432 00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:38,491 IT WAS FANTASTIC. HI GUYS. 433 00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:39,659 HEY, DID HERE ABOUT KELLUM'S DAD? 434 00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:41,128 HE HAS A PRODUCTION COMPANY? 435 00:17:41,228 --> 00:17:43,630 AND THEY'RE THINKING OF DOING A LIVE-ACTION OLD MCDONALD, 436 00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:45,265 FOR KIDS. 437 00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:46,733 AND HE THINKS I HAVE A QUALITY. 438 00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:48,468 SHE'S KINDA RUNNING THROUGH THE WHOLE BARNYARD, HERE, 439 00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,002 YOU KNOW, TRYING TO FIND THE RIGHT ANIMAL. 440 00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:51,271 OH OKAY. 441 00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:53,273 HOW 'BOUT YOUR PIG? YOU GOT A PIG IN THE REPERTOIRE? 442 00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:55,208 THIS LITTLE PIGGY'S GOING TO MARKET. 443 00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:56,509 FIND SOME OF THE PHYSICALITY... CONSTANCE, ACTUALLY WE-- 444 00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:58,445 [ snorting ] 445 00:17:58,545 --> 00:18:00,447 ACTUALLY-- THIS LITTLE PIGGY'S GOING TO MARKET. 446 00:18:00,547 --> 00:18:02,549 OKAY DO IT AGAIN, BUT THINK LIKE A PIG. 447 00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:05,118 OKAY, [ snorting ] 448 00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:07,654 THIS LITTLE PIGGY'S GOING TO MARKET. INCREDIBLE! 449 00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:09,622 YEAH CONSTANCE, ACTUALLY RON REALLY WANTED YOU 450 00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:11,158 TO DO THE VEGGIE PLATTER, NOW SO-- 451 00:18:11,258 --> 00:18:13,426 OKAY, OKAY STAY RIGHT HERE. 452 00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:14,427 OKAY I'M RIGHT HERE. 453 00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:15,462 DON'T GO ANYWHERE. HURRY BACK. 454 00:18:15,562 --> 00:18:16,629 I WILL, I WILL. 455 00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:17,630 YOU GOTTA A GIFT! 456 00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:20,133 ALL RIGHT. 457 00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:23,636 DUDE, THIS SHIT'S HILARIOUS. 458 00:18:23,736 --> 00:18:26,573 THIS PIGGY'S COMIN' TO MARKET. 459 00:18:26,673 --> 00:18:27,774 GERALD APPRECIATE YOUR TRUST. 460 00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:29,642 THAT'S FOR THE OPPORTUNITY. 461 00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:30,810 JAY LESLEY! 462 00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:32,445 AH HI. 463 00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:35,047 I'VE PUT AWAY SOME MONEY 464 00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:38,585 AND I WAS HOPING THAT MAYBE YOU'D CONSIDER 465 00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:40,587 LETTING ME BUY INTO THE PLAN. 466 00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:42,355 OH RON, I DON'T KNOW, THESE PEOPLE 467 00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,191 ARE PROFESSIONAL INVESTORS. 468 00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:45,825 I'VE RUN CREDIT CHECKS ON ALL OF THEM. 469 00:18:45,925 --> 00:18:47,727 MR. COROLLA, PLEASE, 470 00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:53,433 IT'S TAKEN ME FOUR YEARS OF LIVING IN MY PARENTS GARAGE, 471 00:18:55,202 --> 00:18:58,571 SAVING TIPS, QUITTING WEED, BOOZE, 472 00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:00,207 ALMOST EVERYTHING. 473 00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:02,575 I JUST I DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE ANOTHER FOUR YEARS LEFT IN ME. 474 00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:04,444 THIS-- 475 00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:06,379 THIS IS MY WAY OUT. 476 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:09,649 I PUT AWAY TEN GRAND AND TO THINK, IN FOUR MONTHS 477 00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:12,619 I COULD OPEN UP MY OWN SOUP R' CRACKERS, 478 00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:16,088 THE FASTEST GROWING NON-COFFEE, NON-POULTRY FRANCHISE 479 00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:19,359 IN ALL OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA. 480 00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:22,529 YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT WOULD MEAN TO ME. 481 00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:26,866 SO, TONY PLEASE, 482 00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:29,836 WELL, I'D NEED WIRE INFO, 483 00:19:29,936 --> 00:19:32,104 ROUTING AND ACCOUNT NUMBERS. 484 00:19:32,205 --> 00:19:33,640 RIGHT. 485 00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:35,608 WILL YOU TAKE A CHECK? YES. 486 00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:39,512 MOO. 487 00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:41,881 YOU CAN MILK ME IF YOU LIKE. 488 00:19:41,981 --> 00:19:46,253 MY TITS ARE FUULLLLL. 489 00:19:46,353 --> 00:19:48,421 MOO. 490 00:19:54,994 --> 00:19:56,529 HEY DID ROMAN TAKE THE GUN BACK? 491 00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:57,530 I DON'T KNOW. 492 00:19:57,630 --> 00:19:59,599 THAT LITTLE SON-- 493 00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:00,867 HE'S ON PROBATION. 494 00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:03,870 HERE WE GO, HERE WE GO. HA-AH. 495 00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:05,137 WHAT'RE YOU DOING? 496 00:20:05,238 --> 00:20:08,308 CASEY, GOTTA SPEND MONEY TO MAKE MONEY. 497 00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:14,914 OH MY GOD. 498 00:20:15,515 --> 00:20:17,550 AHH, YEAH SO RON JUST GOT HIS CHECKBOOK. 499 00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:20,687 OH, SHIT... 500 00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:21,921 MR. COROLLA, I'LL NEVER FORGET THIS. 501 00:20:22,021 --> 00:20:23,290 YOU ARE A TRUE GENTLEMAN. 502 00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:24,291 WELL, I TRY TO BE, RON. 503 00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:25,492 RON! DON'T. 504 00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:26,793 AH HENRY, I'M CONDUCTING BUSINESS. 505 00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:28,495 RON, IT'S A SCAM, 506 00:20:28,595 --> 00:20:29,729 THEY'RE MEXICANS, HENRY. 507 00:20:29,829 --> 00:20:31,598 THEY'RE JUST HAPPY TO BE ALIVE. 508 00:20:31,698 --> 00:20:34,434 OH JESUS, NO, YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET ANY MONEY BACK. 509 00:20:34,534 --> 00:20:35,568 THAT'S WHAT HE'S TRYING TO TELL YOU. 510 00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:37,437 THIS WHOLE THING IS FAKE. 511 00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:40,840 MR. COROLLA, COULD YOU PLEASE-- 512 00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:43,776 ASK HIM, THAT'S TED YANG. 513 00:20:43,876 --> 00:20:45,712 I WAS IN AN ACTING CLASS WITH HIM. 514 00:20:45,812 --> 00:20:47,447 HE'S FROM VAN NUYS. 515 00:20:47,547 --> 00:20:48,915 CALIFORNIA. THAT'S RIGHT. 516 00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:50,650 WHY DON'T YOU TELL EVERYBODY HERE TED, 517 00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:51,951 WHAT YOU'RE GETTING PAID FOR THIS EVENT? 518 00:20:52,051 --> 00:20:54,921 WHAT YOU'RE GETTING PAID SCALE, WHAT'S THE DEAL? 519 00:20:55,021 --> 00:20:59,459 SPEAK UP TED. COME ON TED. 520 00:20:59,559 --> 00:21:00,893 YOU'RE A DICK, POLLARD! 521 00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:03,630 I'M A DICK? OKAY. 522 00:21:03,730 --> 00:21:05,665 WHAT THE FUCK? MR. COROLLA? 523 00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:07,600 WHAT DO YOU WANT RON, YOU WANT YOU'RE MONEY BACK? 524 00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:09,602 FINE HERE, ALL RIGHT? 525 00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:12,505 THERE'S YOUR MONEY TAKE IT, IT'S YOURS. 526 00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:13,906 OKAY, I WANT MY MONEY BACK, TOO. 527 00:21:14,006 --> 00:21:15,342 GERALD, YOU KNOW ME. 528 00:21:15,442 --> 00:21:16,376 FROM THE CLUB. 529 00:21:16,476 --> 00:21:18,210 YEAH, YOU'RE NEW TO THE CLUB. 530 00:21:18,311 --> 00:21:20,313 YOU WANT TO PASS ON THE INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY 531 00:21:20,413 --> 00:21:21,981 OF A LIFETIME? 532 00:21:22,081 --> 00:21:25,985 A BARTENDER RUNS HIS MOUTH AND YOU GET SCARED? 533 00:21:26,085 --> 00:21:28,688 NOT WHAT I'D CALL GUTS, BUT FINE. 534 00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:30,990 I'LL HOLD OFF ON ALL THE WIRE TRANSFERS 535 00:21:31,090 --> 00:21:32,258 UNTIL YOU'VE ALL HAD A CHANCE 536 00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:33,726 TO LOOK THINGS OVER, OKAY? 537 00:21:33,826 --> 00:21:36,629 THANK YOU FOR COMING, GOOD EVENING. 538 00:21:36,729 --> 00:21:38,331 GERALD, WHEN YOU COME TO YOUR SENSES, 539 00:21:38,431 --> 00:21:39,332 YOU KNOW HOW TO REACH ME. 540 00:21:39,432 --> 00:21:41,233 [ chuckling ] 541 00:21:41,334 --> 00:21:42,602 THIS WAS MY SOUP R' CRACKERS 542 00:21:42,702 --> 00:21:43,770 IT'S GOOD THAT IT'S RIPPED UP. 543 00:21:43,870 --> 00:21:45,972 WAIT...THIS ISN'T MY CHECK. 544 00:21:46,072 --> 00:21:48,541 HEY! HEY! I WANT MY CHECK BACK. 545 00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:49,742 I RIPPED IT UP RON. 546 00:21:49,842 --> 00:21:51,478 NO YOU DIDN'T, YOU'RE STEALING FROM ME. 547 00:21:51,578 --> 00:21:53,913 NOBODY IS STEALING ANYTHING. 548 00:21:54,013 --> 00:21:56,649 JUST HOLD ON A SECOND, MR. COROLLA, IF YOU DON'T MIND? 549 00:21:56,749 --> 00:21:58,317 ACTUALLY, I DO. 550 00:21:58,418 --> 00:22:00,487 DUANE, DUANE, DON'T LET HIM LEAVE THE ROOM. 551 00:22:00,587 --> 00:22:01,988 I'M GONNA CALL THE POLICE. 552 00:22:02,088 --> 00:22:03,255 ALL RIGHT, OKAY. 553 00:22:03,356 --> 00:22:06,726 OKAY-- 554 00:22:06,826 --> 00:22:11,698 EVERYBODY JUST SHUT-UP AND BACK AWAY, HMM? 555 00:22:11,798 --> 00:22:12,999 BACK AWAY. 556 00:22:15,468 --> 00:22:17,504 I WANT MY MONEY BACK, YOU FAKE FUCK. 557 00:22:17,604 --> 00:22:19,406 RON, BACK AWAY. 558 00:22:19,506 --> 00:22:20,673 I MEAN IT. 559 00:22:20,773 --> 00:22:22,875 OH YEAH, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? 560 00:22:22,975 --> 00:22:24,677 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, YOU GONNA SHOT ME? 561 00:22:24,777 --> 00:22:25,678 HEY, I'LL HELP YOU OUT. 562 00:22:25,778 --> 00:22:28,915 I DON'T WANT YOU TO WASTE A BULLET. 563 00:22:29,015 --> 00:22:32,284 AH, WHAT? 564 00:22:32,385 --> 00:22:35,488 OKAY, OKAY, SEE, YOU CAN'T, 565 00:22:35,588 --> 00:22:36,856 BECAUSE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU, 566 00:22:36,956 --> 00:22:39,892 RIGHT DOWN TO THE GUN, IS FAKE, ALL RIGHT. 567 00:22:39,992 --> 00:22:42,028 I WANT-- WE WANT OUR MONEY BACK 568 00:22:42,128 --> 00:22:44,431 OTHERWISE I'M GONNA GO FUCKIN' MEDIEVAL 569 00:22:44,531 --> 00:22:48,568 ON YOUR FUCKING ASS, HOLE! RON. 570 00:22:48,668 --> 00:22:49,869 FAKE GUN. 571 00:22:58,478 --> 00:22:59,646 OKAY, 572 00:22:59,746 --> 00:23:03,082 OKAY, NO, NO, NO, NO 573 00:23:03,182 --> 00:23:04,917 OKAY, [ peeing himself ] 574 00:23:05,017 --> 00:23:08,354 AH, OOOH, 575 00:23:08,455 --> 00:23:10,590 OKAY. 576 00:23:10,690 --> 00:23:13,092 OH OKAY...I...YOU-- 577 00:23:13,192 --> 00:23:15,528 YOU CAN'T SHOOT ME IN FRONT OF ALL THESE PEOPLE, 578 00:23:15,628 --> 00:23:16,863 BECAUSE IT'S LIKE "WITNESS," 579 00:23:16,963 --> 00:23:18,397 WHERE'S THERE'S ALL THE AMISH PEOPLE STANDING AROUND 580 00:23:18,498 --> 00:23:19,532 AND THEY CAN'T SHOOT THE LITTLE BOY, 581 00:23:19,632 --> 00:23:20,800 BECAUSE THEN THEY HAVE TO SHOOT ALL THE PEOPLE, 582 00:23:20,900 --> 00:23:22,068 AND I'M THE LITTLE BOY, 583 00:23:22,168 --> 00:23:24,804 SO EVERYBODY-- 584 00:23:24,904 --> 00:23:28,007 G--GO GET HIM, RUSH HIM! 585 00:23:28,107 --> 00:23:30,342 HE'S-- 586 00:23:30,443 --> 00:23:31,911 RUSH THIS GUY! 587 00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:41,721 YOU'RE AN IDIOT. 588 00:23:41,821 --> 00:23:43,856 [ laughing ] 589 00:23:47,994 --> 00:23:50,062 [ whimpering ] 590 00:23:55,134 --> 00:23:57,770 RON: OH MY GOD, AHH. 591 00:23:57,870 --> 00:24:00,640 HE FUCKIN' PEED HIMSELF. 592 00:24:00,740 --> 00:24:02,509 IN CASE WE DON'T REMEMBER. 593 00:24:05,912 --> 00:24:08,047 DUDE, WEIRD NIGHT, HUH? 594 00:24:08,147 --> 00:24:09,982 YEAH, MAN, SO WEIRD. 595 00:24:10,082 --> 00:24:11,117 STILL ON TO CLUB MILK? 596 00:24:11,217 --> 00:24:13,085 OH FOR SURE, 597 00:24:13,185 --> 00:24:14,821 MIGHT BE KIND OF TRICKY ME GETTING OUT ON TIME, 598 00:24:14,921 --> 00:24:16,789 BUT WAIT FOR ME, OKAY? 599 00:24:16,889 --> 00:24:18,925 ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU THERE. OKAY. 600 00:24:23,029 --> 00:24:25,698 UH, I HOPE RON GOT OUR CHECK UP FRONT. 601 00:24:36,175 --> 00:24:37,577 OKAY, WHAT IF WE MADE RULES? 602 00:24:37,677 --> 00:24:38,611 RULES? YEAH. 603 00:24:38,711 --> 00:24:41,514 LIKE I DON'T OWE YOU ANYTHING 604 00:24:41,614 --> 00:24:42,982 AND YOU DON'T OWE ME ANYTHING. 605 00:24:43,082 --> 00:24:46,152 AND IT'S JUST VERY CASUAL, RELAXED, YOU KNOW 606 00:24:46,252 --> 00:24:48,621 LIKE WE'RE FRIENDS AND COLLEAGUES, 607 00:24:48,721 --> 00:24:51,658 AND WE JUST HAPPENED TO "F" EACH OTHER. 608 00:24:51,758 --> 00:24:52,692 JUST CASUAL. 609 00:24:52,792 --> 00:24:54,861 JUST LIKE REALLY PASSING TIME, 610 00:24:54,961 --> 00:24:55,962 THAT'S HOW I'M THINKING ABOUT IT. 611 00:24:56,062 --> 00:24:57,730 SURE. 612 00:24:57,830 --> 00:24:59,899 AH CHRIST, JUST GET ME MY COAT. 613 00:25:03,002 --> 00:25:04,503 FUCK OFF, DICKHEAD. 614 00:25:11,010 --> 00:25:11,944 YOU WANT TO HEAR SOME SONNETS? 615 00:25:12,044 --> 00:25:13,212 I DON'T NO. 616 00:25:13,312 --> 00:25:15,582 OKAY GOOD, CAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY. 617 00:25:15,682 --> 00:25:16,916 I LOOKED IT UP ON LINE, 618 00:25:17,016 --> 00:25:18,117 HIS DAD'S NAME WAS LOUIE BARETTA. 619 00:25:18,217 --> 00:25:19,719 SO IT'S A FAMILY NAME. 620 00:25:19,819 --> 00:25:22,021 THAT'S WEIRD, WHY WOULD THAT CALL HIS DAD THAT? 621 00:25:22,121 --> 00:25:23,756 I DON'T GET IT. 622 00:25:23,856 --> 00:25:26,826 SO UM, ARE YOU STILL HOOKIN' UP WITH KELLUM TONIGHT OR WHAT? 623 00:25:26,926 --> 00:25:29,796 OH UM, NAH, HE'S KIND OF A DOUCHE. 624 00:25:29,896 --> 00:25:31,731 HEY I WAS THINKIN' ABOUT STOPPIN' BY 625 00:25:31,831 --> 00:25:33,465 THE OKKIE DOG ON THE WAY HOME, 626 00:25:33,566 --> 00:25:34,667 I DON'T KNOW, YOU WANNA COME? 627 00:25:34,767 --> 00:25:35,768 REALLY? YEAH. 628 00:25:35,868 --> 00:25:37,904 YEAH, AWESOME, I'D LOVE TO. SWEET. 629 00:25:38,004 --> 00:25:39,205 YOU COULD GIVE ME SOME NOTES ON MY COW. 630 00:25:39,305 --> 00:25:40,506 YEAH, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT SO FAR? 631 00:25:40,607 --> 00:25:41,874 WELL I'M GOING WITH REAL LOW TONES, 632 00:25:41,974 --> 00:25:45,878 BUT I DON'T WANNA SOUND LIKE A GUY COW. 633 00:25:45,978 --> 00:25:49,015 * 634 00:25:54,821 --> 00:25:56,923 YOU LIKE THIS PANCAKE? YEAH. 635 00:25:57,023 --> 00:26:00,026 I KNEW IT, I KNEW YOU WERE ALL ABOUT THE FUCKIN' FLAPJACKS. 636 00:26:00,126 --> 00:26:03,896 PLEASE STOP. 637 00:26:03,996 --> 00:26:04,931 DON'T STOP THAT, 638 00:26:05,031 --> 00:26:06,766 JUST STOP TALKIN' ABOUT FUCKIN' PANCAKES. 639 00:26:06,866 --> 00:26:08,901 OH RIGHT, OKAY, SORRY. 640 00:26:13,272 --> 00:26:16,242 JUST CALL ME MRS. BUTTERWORTH, BITCH. OH CHRIST. 641 00:26:17,243 --> 00:26:20,279 * 642 00:26:27,286 --> 00:26:30,356 * 643 00:26:37,363 --> 00:26:40,599 * 644 00:26:47,306 --> 00:26:50,376 * 645 00:26:57,383 --> 00:27:00,619 * 646 00:27:04,056 --> 00:27:05,858 TREE.