1 00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:19,220 "HAPPY SWEET 16, TAYLOR," IN THAT EDIBLE GOLD SHIT. 2 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,355 HE FUCKS IT UP,I'M COMING DOWN TO HIS GAY FUCKING BAKERY 3 00:00:21,455 --> 00:00:24,625 AND TAKE A GIANT SHIT DOWN HIS HOLE! 4 00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:25,693 HIS MOUTH HOLE! 5 00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:27,495 JESUS FUCKIN' CHRIST. YOU GOT KIDS? 6 00:00:27,595 --> 00:00:28,962 HAVEN'T MET THAT SPECIAL LADY, YET. 7 00:00:29,063 --> 00:00:30,331 YEAH WELL DON'T. 8 00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:31,465 NOTHING BUT BITCHING. 9 00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:33,601 HUNDRED BOTTLES OF CUSTOM NONALCOHOLIC CRISTAL, 10 00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:35,035 A FOUR THOUSAND DOLLAR HOOKER DRESS, 11 00:00:35,136 --> 00:00:37,671 AND 40 GRAND FOR THIS ASSHOLE RAPPER "DROGRIZZLE" 12 00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:39,307 TO MUMBLE HIS BULLSHIT FOR AN HOUR. 13 00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:40,974 YOU KNOW THIS RAP SHIT? 14 00:00:41,075 --> 00:00:42,243 MORE OF A "STING" MAN, MYSELF 15 00:00:42,343 --> 00:00:44,445 ALL TO TRY AND GET ONE FUCKING SMILE OUTTA THAT KID. 16 00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:46,080 AH WELL NOT TO WORRY, AT PARTY DOWN 17 00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:48,182 WE HAVE EXTRA SMILES TO PASS AROUND. 18 00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:49,717 I HOPE THE JACKETS FIT. 19 00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:51,119 WE HAD VALHALLA CATERING, 20 00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:52,120 BUT THOSE COCKSUCKERS DOUBLE-BOOKED US. 21 00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:54,655 WHAT? 22 00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:56,590 TELL THAT MOTHERFUCKER I'M GONNA RIP HIS DICK OFF 23 00:00:56,690 --> 00:01:00,194 AND USE IT TO FUCK HIS FUCKING DOG IN THE ASS! 24 00:01:00,294 --> 00:01:01,295 TO DEATH! 25 00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,397 GOD IT IS SO WEIRD, 26 00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:05,333 I LOOK LIKE A PLAYAH IN THIS OUTFIT. 27 00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:06,600 YOU LOOK LIKE A VAUDEVILLE CLOWN. 28 00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:08,169 THAT'S THE IDEA. 29 00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:09,470 OH SHIT. 30 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,272 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 31 00:01:11,372 --> 00:01:12,506 MY AGENT MADE ME GET MY TEETH BLEACHED, 32 00:01:12,606 --> 00:01:14,542 BUT HE DIDN'T SAY IT'D HURT THIS MUCH. 33 00:01:14,642 --> 00:01:17,044 YOU HAVE GOT TO BE THE BIGGEST FUCKING PUSSY 34 00:01:17,145 --> 00:01:18,379 ON THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE. 35 00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:20,581 FUCK YOU, IT KILLS. 36 00:01:20,681 --> 00:01:23,551 OH, WAIT, WAIT I THINK, THEY MISSED ONE. 37 00:01:23,651 --> 00:01:25,186 ARE YOU SERIOUS, WHERE? 38 00:01:25,286 --> 00:01:26,187 RIGHT THERE. 39 00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:28,389 OW, DUDE, SHIT. 40 00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:30,358 OH YES, YOU ARE THE BIGGEST FUCKIN' PUSSY! 41 00:01:30,458 --> 00:01:31,425 OW! 42 00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:32,760 KYLE, GET UP. 43 00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:34,195 GET UP PLEASE. 44 00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:36,497 OUR CLIENT, LEONARD STILTSKIN, PRODUCER, 45 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,266 HE'S THROWING A SIXTEENTH BIRTHDAY 46 00:01:38,366 --> 00:01:39,700 FOR HIS LOVELY DAUGHTER TAYLOR. 47 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,369 OKAY AND THERE'S A THEME. 48 00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:43,671 "DA CLUB BOAT." 49 00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:46,440 NOW FYI WE TOOK OVER FOR VALHALLA CATERING. 50 00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:49,510 THEY DOUBLE-BOOKED, THEIR LOSS, OUR GAIN. 51 00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,745 BECAUSE I WANNA SHOW MR. STILTSKIN, 52 00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:54,148 WHAT TRUE PROFESSIONALISM LOOKS LIKE. 53 00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:56,284 LIKE FUCKING ASS-CLOWN. 54 00:01:56,384 --> 00:01:58,452 I FEEL LIKE LOU FERRIGNO IN THIS MOTHERFUCKER. 55 00:01:58,552 --> 00:02:01,322 YEAH WE LOOK LIKE WE'RE IN THE GAY SECRET SERVICE OR SOMETHING. 56 00:02:01,422 --> 00:02:02,656 DO WE SERIOUSLY HAVE TO WEAR THIS SHIT? 57 00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:04,124 YES. 58 00:02:04,225 --> 00:02:06,594 BECAUSE TODAY, WE'RE NOT JUST SERVING FOOD AND BEVERAGES. 59 00:02:06,694 --> 00:02:08,196 WE ARE ALSO DREAM WEAVERS. 60 00:02:08,296 --> 00:02:10,564 WEAVING A DREAM FOR TAYLOR, OKAY? 61 00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:12,666 THERE ARE TWO HUNDRED OF THE COOLEST PEOPLE 62 00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:15,836 ON A LUXURY BOAT, A REAL RAPPER, AND US. 63 00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:17,805 IN COSTUME, PLAYING THE PART, 64 00:02:17,905 --> 00:02:20,274 BECAUSE TODAY THIS BOAT ISN'T JUST A BOAT, 65 00:02:20,374 --> 00:02:22,243 IT'S A FAIRY-TALE FANTASYLAND, 66 00:02:22,343 --> 00:02:23,444 WHERE EVERY BOY IS A "PLAYAH" 67 00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:26,580 AND EVERY GIRL A "BITCH!" 68 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,817 * 69 00:02:37,725 --> 00:02:41,529 [ music playing ] 70 00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:54,107 CAN YOU IMAGINE INVITING 200 PEOPLE TO YOUR PARTY 71 00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:55,643 AND TEN LOSERS SHOW UP? 72 00:02:55,743 --> 00:02:58,512 THIS POOR GIRL, I MEAN IT'S HER SWEET SIXTEEN. 73 00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:00,113 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 74 00:03:00,214 --> 00:03:01,515 YOU CAN'T JUST STAND THERE DO SOMETHING. 75 00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:03,384 WHAT SHOULD WE DO? THIS PARTY'S A BUST. 76 00:03:03,484 --> 00:03:05,453 IT'S UNPROFESSIONAL TO JUST STAND AROUND. 77 00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:07,588 OKAY SO WIPE SOME COUNTERS, CLEAN SOME GLASSES. KEEP BUSY. 78 00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,523 WE ALREADY FINISHED DOING ALL THAT STUFF. 79 00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:10,791 WELL DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. 80 00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:13,160 I TAKE A SHIT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DANCE FLOOR 81 00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:14,595 AND KYLE COULD CLEAN IT UP? 82 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,330 BE PROFESSIONAL! GO. 83 00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:22,570 DUDE, IT STINGS. 84 00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:25,406 HEY WHERE IS YOUR FUCKIN' KID? 85 00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:26,874 WELL, FIND OUT AND GET 'EM HERE! 86 00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:28,242 SIRLOIN SLIDER? 87 00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:29,710 NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS. WHERE IS SHE NOW? 88 00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,412 SHE'S LOCKED IN HER FUCKING STATEROOM 89 00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:32,713 AND WON'T COME OUT. 90 00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:33,747 I'M TELLIN' YOU, THE SHIT I GO THROUGH 91 00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:34,815 TO MAKE THAT KID HAPPY. 92 00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:36,284 WHAT DO I GET? A SMILE? 93 00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:37,418 OR MAYBE A "THANK YOU DADDY?" 94 00:03:37,518 --> 00:03:39,887 BUPCUSS, JUST SIX FIGURES DOWN THE FUCKIN' TOILET. 95 00:03:39,987 --> 00:03:41,422 I'LL GO TALK TO HER. SIRLOIN SLIDERS? 96 00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:44,392 WOULD YOU FUCK-OFF WITH THE GODDAMN SLIDERS, PLEASE. 97 00:03:44,492 --> 00:03:45,926 LEANN, IF SHE WON'T TALK TO HER REAL MOTHER. 98 00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:47,428 SHE SHE IS NOT GONNA TALK TO YOU. 99 00:03:47,528 --> 00:03:48,729 SHE'S NOT GOING TO TALK TO YOU, EITHER. 100 00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:50,298 THESE ARE GIRL ISSUES. 101 00:03:50,398 --> 00:03:52,433 SHE'S RIGHT. 102 00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:54,535 YOU'RE A GIRL, RIGHT? 103 00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:56,870 GO GET MY DAUGHTER OUT OF THE FUCKIN' STATEROOM, WILL YA? 104 00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:58,372 I'M ON IT. 105 00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:09,417 WHOA. 106 00:04:09,517 --> 00:04:10,718 AM I EARLY? 107 00:04:10,818 --> 00:04:12,420 NOPE. 108 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:15,423 OH, SHIT. 109 00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:19,527 JACK AND GINGER, THEN. 110 00:04:19,627 --> 00:04:20,528 HENRY POLLARD? 111 00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:22,663 MICHAEL? YEAH. 112 00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:23,864 SHIT, MAN, IT'S BEEN YEARS 113 00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:25,265 YEAH, YEAH. HOW YOU DOING? 114 00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:26,767 I'M, I'M GOOD, HOW ARE YOU? 115 00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:28,201 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 116 00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:29,470 I'M IN LEONARD'S NEW MOVIE. 117 00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:31,705 YOU KNOW BIG BREAKOUT OF THE INDIE WORLD, 118 00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:32,940 SO I HAD TO COME BY, YOU KNOW, 119 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,742 MAKE AN APPEARANCE, KISS THE RING. 120 00:04:34,842 --> 00:04:36,477 SURE, SURE, THAT IS SO GREAT. 121 00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:37,545 YEAH, WHAT ABOUT YOU? 122 00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:38,612 I'M AH, 123 00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:41,749 I'M WORKING. YOU KNOW AND MAKING MONEY. 124 00:04:42,450 --> 00:04:43,917 ALL RIGHT. 125 00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:45,719 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, IT'S GREAT, IT'S GREAT. 126 00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:46,754 OKAY. 127 00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:49,723 HI HONEY, HI, TAYLOR? 128 00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:52,693 I'M CONSTANCE, FROM PARTY DOWN CATERING. [ crying ] 129 00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:56,530 I'M HERE TO SEE IF YOU WANTED SOMETHING. 130 00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:57,965 I WANNA DIE. 131 00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:07,575 "DA CLUB BOAT." GOOD TIMES, HUH? 132 00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:09,377 YOU HAVING FUN? MM-HMM. 133 00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:11,712 GREAT, ENJOY, IT'S FREE. YUM. 134 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:12,813 WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? 135 00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:14,247 NO ONE'S COVERING THE BUFFET. 136 00:05:14,348 --> 00:05:16,316 THIS KID'S EATEN PRACTICALLY HALF OF IT. 137 00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:18,318 OKAY WHERE'S YOUR SUNGLASSES? 138 00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:20,253 I FUCKING WALKED INTO A WALL ON THE WAY TO THE BATHROOM. 139 00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:21,389 I'M NOT WEARING THOSE THINGS. 140 00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:22,690 I CAN'T SEE SHIT. 141 00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:25,659 OH AND SOME GUY SAID THAT "GRUZZLE" NEEDS SOMETHING? 142 00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:28,261 OH DEGENERATE RAPPERS. 143 00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:30,531 THEY PROBABLY WANT HO'S, I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT. 144 00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:32,366 WATCH THE BUFFET, BE PROFESSIONAL. 145 00:05:32,466 --> 00:05:33,667 PROFESSIONAL. 146 00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:34,968 MY MIDDLE NAME. 147 00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:46,447 COME ON, COME ON. 148 00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:48,348 [ coughing ] 149 00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:55,689 THEY SAID YOU NEEDED SOMETHING? 150 00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:57,425 I'M ON THE PHONE, GIVE ME A SECOND. 151 00:05:57,525 --> 00:05:58,959 HOWARD, WAIT. 152 00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:00,794 HOLD ON FOR A SECOND HOWARD. 153 00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:02,596 HEY CAN YOU DO ME A FAVOR? 154 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,665 CAN YOU CHECK AND SEE WHAT TIME WE GO ON STAGE? 155 00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:05,966 OF COURSE. 156 00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:08,702 'CAUSE WE'RE DUE IN NEWPORT FOR ANOTHER KID'S BASH. 157 00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:10,037 IT'S IN OUR CONTRACT. I'LL GO FIND OUT. 158 00:06:10,137 --> 00:06:11,839 YOU GOT THE NUMBER, OF COURSE I WANNA SEE UM. 159 00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:13,441 HOLD ON, HOLD ON, LAST TIME HOWARD. 160 00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:14,708 AH ONE MORE THING, MAN? 161 00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:15,976 I WANT YOU TO LOOK AT SOMETHING. 162 00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:17,578 IT'S A BUNCH OF CANDY ON THE TABLE, MAN. 163 00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:20,714 LIKE WE NOT KIDS, CAN WE GET SOME FOOD, REAL FOOD? PLEASE? 164 00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:22,916 RIGHT, YES VERY GOOD, I WILL GET ON THAT. 165 00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:23,917 THANK YOU MAN. 166 00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:25,419 [ coughing ] 167 00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:27,320 HEY MATTER OF FACT, WHAT THE FUCK YOU GOT UP IN THERE? 168 00:06:27,421 --> 00:06:28,456 I'M SORRY? 169 00:06:28,556 --> 00:06:30,524 WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO EAT, MAN? 170 00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:34,862 WELL WE HAVE UM, CURLY FRIES, WE HAVE CHICKEN FINGERS, 171 00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:36,664 WE HAVE SIRLOIN SLIDERS. 172 00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:37,798 [ coughing ] 173 00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,366 THAT IS VERY STRONG SMOKE. 174 00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:41,569 AWE YEAH THAT'S THE GOOD, MAN YOU WANT SOME OF THIS SHIT, MAN? 175 00:06:41,669 --> 00:06:42,936 WE GOT TONS OF IT. NO, NO, I'M GOOD. 176 00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:46,440 TAKE A HIT. OH, NO, THANK YOU THOSE DAYS ARE BEHIND ME. 177 00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:47,741 STRICTLY BUSINESS NOW. 178 00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,843 ALL RIGHT SUIT YOURSELF. 179 00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:53,481 SO AH ASPARAGUS SPEARS-- 180 00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:56,784 AND...CURLY FRIES, 181 00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:58,652 CHICKEN FINGERS AND AH-- 182 00:06:58,752 --> 00:06:59,920 SAID THAT ALREADY. 183 00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:01,555 HOWARD, THIS IS WHERE YOU'RE MESSIN' UP AT 184 00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:02,890 YOU GOTTA SPELL IT OUT TO 'EM. 185 00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:04,357 IF THIS IS A FRANCHISE YOU GOTTA LET HIM KNOW 186 00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:05,626 THE THINGS THAT HE SHOULD KNOW. 187 00:07:05,726 --> 00:07:08,496 LOOK, HOLD ON HOWARD, SO YOU SAID YOU GOT CHICKEN WHAT? 188 00:07:08,596 --> 00:07:10,731 FINGERS. CHICKEN FINGERS, SHIT. 189 00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:12,032 DID YOU SAY "FRANCHISE?" 190 00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:13,767 YEAH, BUSINESS TERM. 191 00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:16,136 YES, I KNOW, BECAUSE ACTUALLY HAVE MY OWN-- 192 00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:18,606 HEY MAN, WE REALLY THANK YOU FOR THE FOOD, MAN. 193 00:07:18,706 --> 00:07:20,541 THAT'S WHY I'M HERE. 194 00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:21,775 ONE MORE THING, MAN, 195 00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:23,911 CAN YOU PLEASE FIND OUT WHAT TIME WE'RE GOING ON? 196 00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:25,646 I'M SITTING' HERE RIGHT NOW, I'M NOT DOING NOTHING. 197 00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:27,014 IT'S NOT PROFESSIONAL. 198 00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:29,116 YOU'RE PREACHIN' TO THE CHOIR ON THAT ONE. 199 00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:31,451 PROFESSIONALISM. 200 00:07:31,552 --> 00:07:32,820 CAN I GET A WITNESS? 201 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:33,987 IS HE STILL HERE? 202 00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:36,089 I HEAR THAT. 203 00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:37,625 YOU'RE EDGAR ALLEN POE? 204 00:07:37,725 --> 00:07:39,026 YEAH, A GRAPHIC NOVEL, 205 00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,529 IT'S THE WRITER, BUT HE'S KILLING VAMPIRES. 206 00:07:41,629 --> 00:07:42,763 IT'S LEONARD'S NEXT MOVIE. 207 00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:46,099 WOW, YOU'RE EDGAR ALLEN POE? 208 00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:48,168 FUCKIN' UP VAMPIRES IN OLD BALTIMORE. 209 00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:50,838 WOW. 210 00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:53,006 THAT'S-- THAT'S GREAT MAN, THAT'S GREAT. 211 00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:55,142 WHAT ABOUT YOU, LAST TIME I SAW YOU YOU WERE DOING GOOD, 212 00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:57,444 YOU WERE DOING THOSE COMMERCIALS 213 00:07:57,545 --> 00:08:00,080 WITH THE "ARE WE HAVING FUN YET?" 214 00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:03,851 YEAH, NO, THAT ACTUALLY KINDA KILLED MY CAREER. 215 00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:05,719 SHIT. YEAH. 216 00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,054 THAT FREAKS ME OUT. 217 00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:10,257 I MEAN THIS GUY ALL THE TALENT IN THE WORLD TENDING BAR? 218 00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:14,427 I SHOULD TALK TO LEONARD. 219 00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:16,029 NO, MICHAEL, NO. 220 00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:20,701 REALLY, I ACTUALLY READ FOR HIM ONCE AND THINK THAT WAS ENOUGH. 221 00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:23,904 AND I'M DONE THE TOWEL HAS BEEN THROWN. 222 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,773 LEONARD AND I ARE TIGHT. 223 00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:28,842 HE LISTENS TO ME. 224 00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:33,513 YOU WOULD BE PERFECT FOR YOUNG LINCOLN. 225 00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:34,648 ABRAHAM LINCOLN? 226 00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:36,717 YEAH, WHEN HE WAS A CONGRESSMAN, HE MEETS POE 227 00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:38,752 HELPS HIM STEAL HIS AMULET FROM THE SMITHSONIAN. 228 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:42,055 NOW IT SOUNDS DUMB, BUT IT'S A GREAT ROLE. 229 00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:43,691 ALL YOU NEED IS ONE GREAT ROLE AND BOOM 230 00:08:43,791 --> 00:08:44,792 YOU'RE BACK! YEAH? 231 00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:46,594 OKAY? 232 00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:47,928 YEAH IT DOES SOME KIND OF GREAT. 233 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,930 SHIT YEAH, I'M TELLING YOU, ME PLAYING EDGAR ALLEN POE 234 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,099 YOU TENDING BAR, IT'S LIKE OH! YEAH. 235 00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:53,601 THE UNIVERSE IS CRAZY AM I RIGHT? 236 00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:54,868 YEAH! 237 00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:56,003 OKAY WHAT, YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH FAMOUS PEOPLE NOW, 238 00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:57,170 YOU DON'T INTRODUCE ME. 239 00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:59,840 YEAH CASEY THIS IS MICHAEL, MICHAEL, CASEY. 240 00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:02,042 MICHAEL'S PLAYING EDGAR ALLEN POE. 241 00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:04,144 IN LIKE THE COMIC VERSION WITH THE VAMPIRES? 242 00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:06,013 I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEY WERE MAKING THAT MOVIE 243 00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:07,247 THAT'S AMAZING. 244 00:09:07,347 --> 00:09:08,582 HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS ONE? 245 00:09:08,682 --> 00:09:10,784 ACTING SCHOOL, HE WAS THE NEXT PACINO. 246 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,252 I SHIT YOU NOT. 247 00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:14,121 WOW, YOU NEVER SAY THAT YOU HAD ANY TALENT. 248 00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:15,555 AH HE'S EXAGGERATING. 249 00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:17,825 NO I'M NOT, HE WAS GREAT. 250 00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:19,927 AND I'M GONNA GET HIM BACK ON HIS FEET, RIGHT? 251 00:09:20,027 --> 00:09:23,631 HENRY COME ON, YOU, ME, HERE, WHAT? 252 00:09:23,731 --> 00:09:24,998 IT'S FATE. 253 00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:26,133 IT IS KIND OF FATE. 254 00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:28,836 IT'S FATE. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 255 00:09:28,936 --> 00:09:30,170 CASEY. YES. 256 00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:31,872 WHAT'D I SAY ABOUT PROFESSIONALISM? 257 00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:33,073 I DON'T REMEMBER. 258 00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:37,711 I SAID...UH... 259 00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:41,782 CIRCULATE...AND... 260 00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:43,617 WELL LET'S GET CONSTANCE TO DO IT. 261 00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:45,886 NO I CAN'T DO THAT BECAUSE SHE'S IN THE STATEROOM 262 00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:48,588 OFFERING SUPPORT TO THE BIRTHDAY GIRL. 263 00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:51,024 SHE IS, CONSTANCE IS? YES SHE IS. 264 00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:53,160 OH, SHIT...OKAY, I'M GONNA-- 265 00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:55,028 NICE TO MEET YOU. AND YOU. 266 00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:02,970 THERE HE IS. 267 00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:19,552 I'M SUPPOSED TO BE DOING SOMETHING. 268 00:10:19,653 --> 00:10:21,822 RON, YOU REEK OF POT. WHAT? 269 00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:23,757 YOU SMELL LIKE-- I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T SMOKE-- 270 00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:24,925 I DON'T SMOKE POT. 271 00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:26,259 WELL YOU SMELL LIKE POT. 272 00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:30,097 AHH, THOSE RAPPERS. 273 00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:31,699 I THINK I HAVE A PRETTY GOOD IDEA 274 00:10:31,799 --> 00:10:33,300 OF WHAT "DRO GRIZZLE" STAND FOR. 275 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:37,337 IT'S SLANG FOR "STRONG HYDROPONIC MARIJUANA." 276 00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:40,107 KINDA WHAT I WAS GONNA GUESS. 277 00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:41,709 OH I GOTTA TO BRING THEM FOOD. 278 00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:45,578 HEY RON, RON LOOK, 279 00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:47,147 ARE YOU HIGH? WHAT? 280 00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:49,983 I CAN TAKE CARE OF IT, IF YOU DON'T WANNA BE AROUND ALL THAT. 281 00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:52,786 NO, I HAVE STUFF THAT I HAVE TO TALK TO THEM ABOUT. 282 00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:57,057 YOU JUST LOOK BUSY. 283 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,359 UH, OKAY. 284 00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:03,196 HE'S SO FUCKIN' HIGH. YEAH. 285 00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:04,664 NO, NO, NO, NO, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. 286 00:11:04,765 --> 00:11:06,666 I WAS MEDIUM POPULAR IN MIDDLE SCHOOL, 287 00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:11,204 BUT BY THE TIME I GOT TO BE A JUNIOR, I WAS FULLY POPULAR. 288 00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:14,607 PEOPLE JUST DON'T APPRECIATE THE RESPONSIBILITY YOU HAVE, 289 00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:16,209 SETTING AN EXAMPLE, HEY. 290 00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:17,711 HOW'S IT GOING? 291 00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:20,848 HEY CASEY, WE HAVE A SIT'CHIATION HERE, MY SISTER. 292 00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:26,186 SO, TAYLOR IS DATING CHAD. 293 00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:28,756 WHO'S MAYBE NUMBER FIVE IN THE CLASS HOTTIE'S LIST. 294 00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:30,924 BUT CHAD HAS BEEN A BIT OF A DOUCHE BAG LATELY 295 00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:34,127 SO TRISTAN, PROBABLY THE TOP GUY AT SCHOOL, 296 00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:36,897 HE FLIRTS WITH HER AT A PARTY AND THEY FOOL AROUND, 297 00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:39,833 TRISTAN'S GIRLFRIEND FINDS OUT, TELLS CHAD-- 298 00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:42,035 (IN MISERY) AND NOW THEY BOYCOTTED MY PARTY. 299 00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:45,172 AND THERE'S NO ONE HERE BUT THE LOSERS. 300 00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:51,411 OH OH. 301 00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:55,983 VODKA REDBULL. 302 00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:59,286 HEY, CLUB DRINK OF CHOICE. 303 00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:00,320 DON'T SAY THAT. 304 00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:01,421 I USED TO GO CLUBBING ALL THE TIME, 305 00:12:01,521 --> 00:12:03,857 BEFORE I MARRIED THAT THING. 306 00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:06,126 I LOVE CLUBBING, YOU KNOW I LOVE IT. 307 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,095 HOW DO YOU DEAL? 308 00:12:08,195 --> 00:12:09,997 BOOZE, FACEBOOK, SHOPPING. 309 00:12:10,097 --> 00:12:12,399 RANDOM FLINGS WITH HOT GUYS. 310 00:12:15,102 --> 00:12:17,337 HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE YOUNG LINCOLN 311 00:12:17,437 --> 00:12:21,241 IN AN EDGAR ALLEN POE FILM? 312 00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:22,976 YEAH. 313 00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,813 NO, I KNOW IT'S ROUGH, BUT THERE'S FRIENDS HERE 314 00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:26,814 WHO CAME TO SEE YOU. 315 00:12:26,914 --> 00:12:28,348 THOSE AREN'T MY FRIENDS, 316 00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:29,950 THOSE'RE JUST THE LOSERS I HUNG OUT WITH 317 00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:31,684 BEFORE I GOT COOL FRIENDS. 318 00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:34,321 THE COOL FRIENDS DIDN'T COME. OKAY. 319 00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:36,223 OKAY BUT WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY 320 00:12:36,323 --> 00:12:39,426 IS THAT THOSE KIDS ARE KIND OF COOL FOR SHOWING UP. 321 00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:41,461 OR THEY'RE JUST TRYING TO HITCH A RIDE ON YOUR POPULARITY. 322 00:12:41,561 --> 00:12:42,796 CONSTANCE-- 323 00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:44,364 HEY IT USE TO HAPPENED TO ME ALL THE TIME. 324 00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:47,167 IT'S ONE OF THE DRAWBACKS OF BEING REALLY, REALLY POPULAR, 325 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:50,838 OH MY GOD. PEOPLE TRY TO USE YOUR POPULARITY 326 00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:53,006 CONSTANCE. TO MAKE THEMSELVES SEEM MORE 327 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:56,209 POPULAR THAN THEY REALLY ARE. CONSTANCE! 328 00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:57,845 CAN I TALK TO YOU OUTSIDE FOR A SECOND? 329 00:12:57,945 --> 00:12:59,412 LISTEN, WE'RE TRYING TO GET THAT GIRL TO COME OUT TO HER PARTY, 330 00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:01,448 AND I JUST DON'T THINK ANYTHING YOU'RE SAYING IS HELPING 331 00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:02,816 LIKE, AT ALL. 332 00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:04,751 CASEY, I KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THESE ISSUES. 333 00:13:04,852 --> 00:13:06,053 I WAS VERY POPULAR. 334 00:13:06,153 --> 00:13:08,788 YEAH, WELL, OKAY CONSTANCE, I WAS PRETTY POPULAR TOO. 335 00:13:08,889 --> 00:13:09,857 NOT LIKE I WAS POPULAR. 336 00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:11,791 YOU DON'T KNOW-- NOT FOR A FACT. 337 00:13:11,892 --> 00:13:12,860 IS THIS TAYLOR'S PARTY? 338 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:14,427 YEAH WHAT CLIQUE ARE YOU IN? YES! 339 00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:17,030 THIS IS TAYLOR'S PARTY, BUT SHE'S NOT SO FEELING WELL. 340 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,065 WHAT'S YOUR NAME? 341 00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:19,166 MEGAN LINDERMAN. 342 00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:22,202 MEGAN, HI, I CAN GIVE THAT TO HER FOR YOU. 343 00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,304 AND EVERYONE'S JUST IN THE BALLROOM. 344 00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:25,839 YEAH BACK THAT WAY. YEAH. 345 00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:28,108 BYE. SEE YA. 346 00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:29,209 SO CAN I PLEASE JUST TALK TO HER ALONE 347 00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:30,743 FOR A MINUTE, PLEASE? 348 00:13:30,844 --> 00:13:32,512 TELL HER TO HOLD OUT FOR TRISTAN. 349 00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:37,750 YOU KNOW WHAT A GREAT STORY THIS IS GONNA MAKE? 350 00:13:37,851 --> 00:13:40,888 I WAS AT A KIDS PARTY ON A BOAT-- YEAH. 351 00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:42,522 HENRY WE'RE GOOD. I KNOW. 352 00:13:42,622 --> 00:13:44,091 ALL RIGHT WATCH. 353 00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:47,760 OKAY, IF HE WON'T SIGN I'LL FIRE A BAZOOKA UP HIS ASS. 354 00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:50,998 AND TAKE A GIANT SHIT DOWN THE BAZOOKA HOLE! 355 00:13:51,098 --> 00:13:52,532 I'VE GOT ENOUGH SHIT WITH YOUR FUCKING KID 356 00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:54,101 BLOWING OFF MY KID'S THING. 357 00:13:54,201 --> 00:13:57,070 HE FUCKING BETTER, OR YOU'LL NEVER SEE THE LAKERS AGAIN. 358 00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,405 FUCK YOU. 359 00:13:59,406 --> 00:14:01,942 MICHAEL, I'M SORRY, I'M DEALING WITH A REAL SHITSTORM, HERE. 360 00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:02,943 NO PROBLEM, NO PROBLEM. 361 00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:04,244 THANK YOU FOR COMING. 362 00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:05,245 GOOD TO BE HERE, LARRY THIS IS HENRY. [ phone ringing ] 363 00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:06,313 YEAH NO I'M GOOD. OKAY. 364 00:14:06,413 --> 00:14:08,248 NO, ACTUALLY LEONARD-- 365 00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:11,151 WELL FUCK HIM! 366 00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:12,452 FUCK HIS FACE OFF, 367 00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:13,987 AND WHEN HE PICK IT UP OFF THE FLOOR, 368 00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:17,457 FUCK HIM IN THE ASS! 369 00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:18,959 LEONARD I WANTED YOU TO MEET HENRY, 370 00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:20,827 BECAUSE HE IS THE BEST ACTOR I KNOW. 371 00:14:20,928 --> 00:14:22,896 THIS WAITER, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT? 372 00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:26,099 HE IS A GOOD WAITER, HE'S IS A FANTASTIC ACTOR. 373 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:29,202 WHOA, WA--WAIT A SECOND. 374 00:14:29,302 --> 00:14:31,371 YEAH, THERE IT IS, HE READ FOR YOU A FEW YEARS BACK? 375 00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:32,472 I DID. 376 00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:34,507 ALL RIGHT, YOU COME WITH ME. 377 00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:35,508 HARRY, RIGHT? 378 00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:37,244 AH, HENRY. DOESN'T MATTER. 379 00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:40,513 I DON'T KNOW, I THOUGHT IT'D BE SO GREAT BEING POPULAR, 380 00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:44,017 BUT IT'S SO CONFUSING. 381 00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:48,521 I KNOW, I WAS POPULAR FOR LIKE, I DUNNO, TWO YEARS 382 00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:50,257 BEFORE I FIGURED THAT SHIT OUT. 383 00:14:50,357 --> 00:14:52,459 YOU TRY SO HARD TO BE COOL, RIGHT? 384 00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:56,096 BUT THEN IF YOU'RE TRYING TO BE COOL THEN THAT'S NOT COOL. 385 00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:57,430 AND THE KIDS WHO AREN'T TRYING 386 00:14:57,530 --> 00:15:01,068 THEIR THE ONES THAT SEEM TO HAVING ALL THE FUN, SO... 387 00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:04,271 I DON'T KNOW, DON'T YOU WANNA LIKE FORGET ABOUT BEING "COOL" 388 00:15:04,371 --> 00:15:08,976 FOR A SECOND AND JUST HAVE FUN? 389 00:15:09,076 --> 00:15:10,377 YOUR FRIEND MEGAN'S HERE. 390 00:15:10,477 --> 00:15:14,114 SHE BROUGHT YOU THIS. 391 00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:17,017 OH MY GOD. 392 00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:18,385 WE USED TO PLAY THIS AT SLUMBER PARTIES 393 00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:19,419 LIKE ALL THE TIME. SEE? 394 00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:21,121 HEY, SWEETIE? 395 00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:23,223 GOD DAD! WILL YOU GET OUT OF HERE! 396 00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:25,225 HEY, HEY, LOOK WHO'S HERE TO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY. 397 00:15:25,325 --> 00:15:26,960 IT'S MICHAEL. HEY, TAYLOR. 398 00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:29,596 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SWEETHEART. 399 00:15:29,696 --> 00:15:33,333 AND LOOK WHO'S HERE WITH A QUESTION FOR YOU? 400 00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:44,144 "ARE WE HAVING FUN YET?" 401 00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:52,885 RIGHT, FROM THOSE COMMERCIALS? 402 00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:54,087 BEER COMMERCIALS. RIGHT. 403 00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:56,156 SHE USED TO RUN AROUND THE HOUSE SAYING IT 404 00:15:56,256 --> 00:15:57,457 ALL THE TIME. REALLY? 405 00:15:57,557 --> 00:15:59,492 OH YEAH, YEAH. 406 00:15:59,592 --> 00:16:01,894 JESUS, NOT EVEN A GODDAMN SMILE? 407 00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:04,897 GOD, DAD, I WAS, LIKE, NINE. 408 00:16:04,998 --> 00:16:06,233 YEAH WHEN SHE WAS NINE SHE WASN'T A FUCKIN' COMPLETE 409 00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:08,001 FUCKIN' SPOILED FUCKIN' BRAT! 410 00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:13,140 OKAY WE WILL GET THIS AT A DIFFERENT MOMENT. 411 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:14,407 OKAY. 412 00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:23,916 SO DO YOU NORMALLY DO THE CASTING DECISIONS AND STUFF? 413 00:16:24,017 --> 00:16:25,318 DID YOU SEE "BLOB, EXTREME? " 414 00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:27,287 THE GUY WHO PLAYED THE FIREMAN IN THAT 415 00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:28,621 HE WAS ONE OF MINE, 416 00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:32,692 BUT HE WASN'T HALF AS CUTE AS YOU ARE. 417 00:16:32,792 --> 00:16:36,629 I'LL GET YOU SOMETHING MUCH BETTER IN POE. 418 00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:39,532 YOU'RE GONNA MAKE A GREAT YOUNG LINCOLN. 419 00:16:42,569 --> 00:16:45,072 MAYBE THIS ISN'T LIKE THE BEST TIME TO LIKE DO THIS. 420 00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:47,274 DON'T WORRY ABOUT ABOUT LEONARD. 421 00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:48,341 I NEVER WOULD'VE MARRIED HIM 422 00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:51,278 IF WE DIDN'T HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING. 423 00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:55,215 YOU'RE SO HOT. 424 00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:56,216 THANK YOU. 425 00:16:56,316 --> 00:17:03,556 YOU'RE VERY HOT YOURSELF. 426 00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:13,966 OH GOD, YEAH, UM-HMM. 427 00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:15,335 IT'S NICE ON THE EAR. 428 00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:18,338 SO THE "DRO GRIZZLE" IS A FRANCHISE 429 00:17:18,438 --> 00:17:20,006 THAT PEOPLE CAN BUY INTO? 430 00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:21,308 RIGHT, RIGHT. 431 00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:22,642 YOU BUY IN, DO YOUR THING 432 00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:24,477 UNDER THE UMBRELLA OF THE BRAND. 433 00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:26,613 YOU HELP US GROW, WE SUPPORT YOU. 434 00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:27,747 RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT. 435 00:17:27,847 --> 00:17:29,216 LIKE THAT SOUP THING YOU WERE TELLING US ABOUT. 436 00:17:29,316 --> 00:17:30,683 SOUP R' CRACKERS. 437 00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:33,120 FASTEST GROWING NON-POULTRY, NON-COFFEE FRANCHISE 438 00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:35,122 IN ALL OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA. 439 00:17:35,222 --> 00:17:38,525 ALL YOU CAN EAT SOUP, SALAD, BREAD. 440 00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:39,992 I AIN'T NEVER HEARD OF THAT. 441 00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:41,661 YOU FOR REAL, LIKE ALL YOU CAN EAT. 442 00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:43,663 THE ONLY LIMIT IS YOUR DIGESTIVE SYSTEM. 443 00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:46,133 HEY AH, YOU FIND OUT WHEN WE'RE GOING ON, MAN? 444 00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:49,236 [ making weird noises ] RON? 445 00:17:49,336 --> 00:17:50,537 YOU FIND OUT WHAT TIME WE GOING ON? 446 00:17:50,637 --> 00:17:53,072 OH, RIGHT, IT'S NUTS OUT THERE. 447 00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:56,276 HEY BEFORE I GO, SINCE YOU GUYS NEVER HEARD OF IT 448 00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:57,677 I'M WONDERING IF THERE'S AN OPPORTUNITY 449 00:17:57,777 --> 00:18:00,547 TO OPEN UP A FRANCHISE TO SOUTH CENTRAL, 450 00:18:00,647 --> 00:18:03,550 FOR GUYS LIKE YOU WHO NEVER HAD ALL YOU CAN EAT SOUP? 451 00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:06,453 I MIGHT BE ON THE GROUND FLOOR OF A SENSATION, HERE. 452 00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:10,022 NO, NO, NO YOU GOTTA CHECK YOUR DEMOGRAPHICS, MAN. 453 00:18:10,123 --> 00:18:12,292 IF YOU DO, YOU'LL FIND SOUTH CENTRAL LOS ANGELES 454 00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:14,494 IS INCREASINGLY HOME TO A MAJORITY LATINO POPULATION. 455 00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:15,528 IS THAT RIGHT? 456 00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:17,029 DEAD SERIOUS. 457 00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:19,031 AIN'T A LOT OF BROTHERS HANKERIN' AROUND FOR NO SOUP. 458 00:18:19,132 --> 00:18:21,168 SO, IT'S, LIKE, A WHITE THING? 459 00:18:21,268 --> 00:18:23,236 WELL PUT IT LIKE THIS, WHEN I THINK ABOUT SOUP, 460 00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:24,371 I THINK ABOUT LIKE-- 461 00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:25,772 REESE WITHERSPOON EATING THAT SHIT. 462 00:18:25,872 --> 00:18:27,374 MATT DAMON, I THINK MATT DAMON. 463 00:18:27,474 --> 00:18:30,210 WHAT ABOUT THOSE BITCHES OFF THE HILLS 464 00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:32,645 NANCY REAGAN, OLD SOUP EATIN' ASS. 465 00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:35,615 HANNAH MONTANA FUCKIN' ASS. 466 00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:37,317 THAT BITCH PROBABLY EATIN' SOME RICH SOUP. 467 00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:40,119 TIGER WOODS, HE PROBABLY WOULD I CAN SEE HIM EATIN' THAT SHIT. 468 00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:41,788 UH-UH, UH-UH THE GUY'S PART THAI, 469 00:18:41,888 --> 00:18:45,057 NO HE COME FROM A LONG CULINARY TRADITION OF EXOTIC SOUPS. 470 00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:46,092 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING'? 471 00:18:46,193 --> 00:18:47,594 I DON'T IMAGINE IT'S THAT EXOTIC. 472 00:18:47,694 --> 00:18:49,162 NO IT'S MORE HEARTY SOUP, 473 00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:50,430 LIKE CHICKEN, RICE. 474 00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:53,132 NOW SEE MY DILEMMA IS, I DON'T SEE NO BLACK PEOPLE 475 00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:55,134 GOING NOWHERE THAT SAY "CRACKER" ANYTHING. 476 00:18:55,235 --> 00:18:56,403 THAT'S TRUE, I KNOW I'M NOT. 477 00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:59,472 HOLD ON, HOLD ON, THAT'S INTERESTING TO ME, 478 00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:00,473 WHY IS THAT? 479 00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:02,409 SHOW HIM WHY GREG. 480 00:19:02,509 --> 00:19:03,610 SOUPER CRACKERS. 481 00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:05,478 YOU DON'T GET WHAT HE SAYIN', ALL RIGHT, 482 00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:06,646 IMAGINE YOUR GRANDMA GOIN' INTO A PLACE 483 00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:10,217 TO BUY SOUP AND IT'S CALLED SOUPER ANGRY BLACKMAN. 484 00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:11,784 HISTORY OF THE SOUTH, MAN. 485 00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:13,119 ALL THAT RACIST SHIT. 486 00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:14,454 MAN IT'S JUST ALL BAD. 487 00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:16,223 YOU MIGHT AS WELL CALL IT "SLAVE WHIPPIN' SOUP." 488 00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:17,724 OH NO! 489 00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:21,194 "ALL YOU CAN EAT SLAVE N' SALAD AND SHIT." 490 00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:23,162 OHH-- 491 00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:25,465 AH, "LYNCH AND SOUP." 492 00:19:25,565 --> 00:19:27,600 WHAT ABOUT "SOUP R' OPPRESSION" 493 00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:30,237 HEY THE "JIM CROW SOUP AND SALAD ." 494 00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:31,771 "NO NIGGER SOUP." 495 00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:37,577 RIGHT? 496 00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:41,381 NO YOU LOOK AWESOME. 497 00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:43,383 GO OUT THERE AND HAVE FUN, YOU KNOW. BE YOURSELF. 498 00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:44,651 ARE THE REAL FRIENDS COMING? CONSTANCE! 499 00:19:44,751 --> 00:19:46,453 JUST KEEP WALKING, OKAY. 500 00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:48,521 WHAT THE FUCK MAN, THAT WAS THE BEST PART OF THE COMICS 501 00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:51,558 EDGAR ALLEN POE, TOTAL ALCOHOLIC FIGHTS VAMPIRES. 502 00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:53,760 WELL IN THE SCRIPT HE'S NOT AN ALCOHOLIC. 503 00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:56,195 SO HE'S NOT REALLY EDGAR ALLEN POE. NO. 504 00:19:56,296 --> 00:19:57,730 NOW EDGAR ALLEN POE DIDN'T REALLY KILL VAMPIRES, 505 00:19:57,830 --> 00:19:59,165 NOW DID HE, SWEETHEART. 506 00:19:59,266 --> 00:20:00,667 IS THE LOVE INTEREST STILL HIS 13 YEAR OLD COUSIN? 507 00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:02,669 WELL THEY'RE LOOKIN' AT NATALIE PORTMAN. 508 00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:05,838 WHO'S LIKE 40. FUCK. 509 00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:07,540 THESE ASSHOLES ALWAYS FUCKIN' UP THE COMICS. 510 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:08,908 YOU GUYS SEE "DARK KNIGHT? " 511 00:20:09,008 --> 00:20:11,278 MY DAD SAID IT WAS TOO VIOLENT, HE WOULDN'T LET ME GO. 512 00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:13,646 SHIT, WE SHOULD GO. 513 00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:15,548 GIVE ME YOU NUMBER, THIS WEEKEND MAYBE, OR-- 514 00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:17,417 I'LL COME PICK YOU UP OR-- 515 00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:24,491 [ clapping ] 516 00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:26,393 I'LL BE OVER HERE. 517 00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:31,664 WE GOTTA PLAY THIS. 518 00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:33,500 FINALLY, SHE'S OUT. 519 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:37,904 HEY YOU I OWE YOU BIG TIME, YOU'RE MARY TODD LINCOLN. 520 00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:39,506 YEAH WHATEVER, WHERE ARE THOSE RAP GUYS? 521 00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:41,474 THEY'RE IN BACK. 522 00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:44,844 FYI, I WON'T PAY TO SEE EDGAR ALLEN POE FIGHT VAMPIRES SOBER. 523 00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:47,447 NOBODY GIVES A SHIT WHAT YOU THINK, DINK. 524 00:20:47,547 --> 00:20:49,248 PEOPLE CARE WHAT I THINK. 525 00:20:49,349 --> 00:20:53,185 I HAVE A PRESTIGIOUS BLOG, SIR. 526 00:20:53,286 --> 00:20:54,587 NICE WORK, KLEIN. 527 00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:56,689 I FEEL LIKE AN EXTRA IN AN AFTER-SCHOOL SPECIAL. 528 00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:58,190 I DO TOO, KIND OF. 529 00:20:58,291 --> 00:21:00,293 SO WHAT HAPPENED WITH LEONARD? 530 00:21:00,393 --> 00:21:02,295 WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT HAPPENED, WITH LEONARD, YOU WERE THERE. 531 00:21:02,395 --> 00:21:03,796 I KNOW BUT DID MICHAEL GO AND TALK TO HIM 532 00:21:03,896 --> 00:21:04,897 IS HE GONNA GIVE YOU A PART? 533 00:21:04,997 --> 00:21:06,899 HE'S NOT GONNA GIVE ME A PART, CASEY. 534 00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:08,801 WHY? 535 00:21:08,901 --> 00:21:09,902 SOMETIMES THEY GIVE YOU A PART. 536 00:21:10,002 --> 00:21:11,203 COME ON! 537 00:21:11,304 --> 00:21:12,204 IT HAS TO HAPPEN SOMETIME. 538 00:21:12,305 --> 00:21:13,840 LOOK I REMEMBER THIS FEELING, OKAY, 539 00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:16,476 AND IT'S LIKE BEATING MY HEAD AGAINST THAT WALL, 540 00:21:16,576 --> 00:21:18,778 OH GOD I'M SO SORRY, I DIDN'T KNOW. WHAT? 541 00:21:18,878 --> 00:21:21,681 I DIDN'T KNOW, THAT YOU LOVED THIS LOSER 542 00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,950 MINIMUM WAGE LIFE-STYLE SO MUCH 543 00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:25,284 THAT YOU DIDN'T WANT TO PART WITH IT. 544 00:21:25,385 --> 00:21:26,653 WELL I DO. I WASN'T AWARE. 545 00:21:26,753 --> 00:21:29,288 I DO. I'M SORRY. 546 00:21:29,389 --> 00:21:32,492 WHAT I SHOULD GO TALK TO HIM BECAUSE WHAT IT'S FATE? 547 00:21:32,592 --> 00:21:35,227 YOU SHOULD JUST NOT BE A TOTAL IDIOT 548 00:21:35,328 --> 00:21:37,564 FOR ONE SECOND OF YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. 549 00:21:37,664 --> 00:21:41,668 AND JUST DO IT. 550 00:21:41,768 --> 00:21:42,835 JUST DO IT. 551 00:21:42,935 --> 00:21:44,236 JUST DO IT, WHAT THE FUCK? 552 00:21:44,337 --> 00:21:45,805 ALL RIGHT PARTY'S ON, LEONARD'S HAPPY, 553 00:21:45,905 --> 00:21:47,273 IT'S THE PERFECT MOMENT, YOU WANNA DO IT? 554 00:21:47,374 --> 00:21:48,575 I DON'T-- 555 00:21:48,675 --> 00:21:50,677 COME ON, THIS IS HOW THESE MOVIES END. 556 00:21:50,777 --> 00:21:51,744 OKAY, EVERYONE'S HAPPY AT THE END. 557 00:21:51,844 --> 00:21:52,812 OKAY! YEAH. 558 00:21:52,912 --> 00:21:55,515 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 559 00:21:55,615 --> 00:21:57,750 [ music playing ] 560 00:21:57,850 --> 00:21:58,785 OH OH. 561 00:21:58,885 --> 00:22:01,320 YOU DON'T WANNA BE THE YOUNG ABE LINCOLN? 562 00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:03,723 NO I REALLY WANNA BE, I REALLY WANNA BE LINCOLN. 563 00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:06,258 [ in pain ] 564 00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:08,561 OH GOD THAT'S GOOD! YOU LIKE THAT? 565 00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:10,463 [ grunting ] 566 00:22:15,034 --> 00:22:16,836 OH YOU LOVE THAT? 567 00:22:16,936 --> 00:22:18,538 [ laughing in pain ] 568 00:22:18,638 --> 00:22:21,674 OH GOD! SHIT! 569 00:22:21,774 --> 00:22:23,009 WHAT THE FUCK? 570 00:22:23,109 --> 00:22:26,278 NO BULLSHIT, HE'D BE PERFECT FOR THE ROLE OF YOUNG LINCOLN. 571 00:22:26,379 --> 00:22:29,449 MIKEY, IF YOU SAY SO? AH HE LOOKS A LITTLE BIT LIKE LINCOLN. 572 00:22:29,549 --> 00:22:31,283 WHERE ARE THOSE FUCKIN' RAPPERS? 573 00:22:31,384 --> 00:22:32,619 NO BULLSHITTING HE'S PERFECT FOR IT. 574 00:22:32,719 --> 00:22:33,786 MAYBE WE GET THE SCRIPT-- 575 00:22:33,886 --> 00:22:35,822 WAIT A MINUTE NOW, IF HE'S THE NEXT PACINO, 576 00:22:35,922 --> 00:22:36,823 WHAT DOES THAT MAKE YOU THEN? 577 00:22:36,923 --> 00:22:39,826 WELL, THE NEXT COSTNER. 578 00:22:39,926 --> 00:22:41,961 ALL RIGHT LISTEN MAN CAN YOU COME IN TO READ? 579 00:22:42,061 --> 00:22:43,396 YES. YOU MIND AH-- 580 00:22:44,597 --> 00:22:46,799 OH YOU GOTTA BE FUCKIN' KIDDING ME NOW IT'S FUCKIN' WAITERS, 581 00:22:46,899 --> 00:22:47,967 HE'S AN ACTOR. 582 00:22:48,067 --> 00:22:49,936 AH BEAUTIFUL AND ACTOR, SO NOW I GET TO PUT 583 00:22:50,036 --> 00:22:51,303 THIS FUCKIN' GUY IN A MOVIE. 584 00:22:51,404 --> 00:22:52,605 DON'T GET YOUR DICK IN A WAD, 585 00:22:52,705 --> 00:22:55,575 IT DIDN'T GET THAT FAR, I THINK HE'S FUCKIN' GAY. 586 00:22:55,675 --> 00:22:56,909 I'M NOT GAY! 587 00:22:57,009 --> 00:22:57,910 MY TEETH! 588 00:22:58,010 --> 00:22:59,812 [ moaning ] 589 00:22:59,912 --> 00:23:01,581 SO, MAYBE WE'LL HAVE HIM CALL THE OFFICE ON MONDAY. 590 00:23:01,681 --> 00:23:02,982 YEAH, YEAH SURE-- 591 00:23:03,082 --> 00:23:04,484 OH HERE WE ARE, FUCK, ABOUT TIME. 592 00:23:04,584 --> 00:23:05,485 LET'S GO MAN, YOU'RE ON. 593 00:23:05,585 --> 00:23:07,319 OH, NAH, DUDE, I'M DONE, THAT'S IT. 594 00:23:07,420 --> 00:23:08,621 IT SAYS IT IN MY CONTRACT, I'M OUT. 595 00:23:08,721 --> 00:23:09,689 YOU CAN'T FUCKING WALK OUT NOW! 596 00:23:09,789 --> 00:23:11,090 WE JUST GOT HER OUT OF THE STATEROOM. 597 00:23:11,190 --> 00:23:12,725 HEY MAN, WHAT THE FUCK IS A STATEROOM? 598 00:23:12,825 --> 00:23:14,093 IT'S WHAT THEY CALL A ROOM ON A BOAT. 599 00:23:14,193 --> 00:23:15,995 SO WHY DON'T THEY JUST CALL IT A ROOM THAT'S ON A BOAT? 600 00:23:16,095 --> 00:23:16,996 WHY DON'T THEY JUST CALL THE FRONT THE FRONT 601 00:23:17,096 --> 00:23:18,565 BECAUSE IT'S A FUCKIN' BOAT! 602 00:23:18,665 --> 00:23:20,600 TELL YOU WHAT LEONARD WE'LL STEPHANIE FAX OVER A SCRIPT-- 603 00:23:20,700 --> 00:23:21,734 YOU FUCKIN' WALK OUT ON ME NOW, 604 00:23:21,834 --> 00:23:23,335 I WILL KILL YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY 605 00:23:23,436 --> 00:23:25,004 CHOP THEM UP INTO LITTLE PIECES EAT THEM! 606 00:23:25,104 --> 00:23:26,506 COME OVER TO YOUR HOUSE THE NEXT DAY 607 00:23:26,606 --> 00:23:28,741 AND SHIT THEM OUT ON YOUR FACE. 608 00:23:28,841 --> 00:23:30,677 DON'T DO THAT, THAT'S A LOT OF SHIT. 609 00:23:30,777 --> 00:23:32,011 JUST CALL OUR LAWYER, MAN. 610 00:23:32,111 --> 00:23:34,714 HEY RON, DUDE, GOOD SHIT, MAN. 611 00:23:34,814 --> 00:23:37,016 AND I MEAN THAT, GOOD LUCK WITH THE SOUP SHIT TOO. 612 00:23:37,116 --> 00:23:39,752 WHEN IT COME OUT, I'MA EAT SOME MY NIGGA, REAL. 613 00:23:39,852 --> 00:23:41,754 OH YO YO YO, DRO. 614 00:23:41,854 --> 00:23:43,956 I APPRECIATE THE ADVICE. 615 00:23:44,056 --> 00:23:46,793 AH, DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM, YOU FUCKIN' FUCK YOU 616 00:23:46,893 --> 00:23:48,495 YOU FUCKIN'-- 617 00:23:48,595 --> 00:23:49,496 FUCK! 618 00:23:49,596 --> 00:23:50,630 THAT'S ORIGINAL. 619 00:23:50,730 --> 00:23:52,431 TELL YOU WHAT LEONARD, 620 00:23:52,532 --> 00:23:53,500 I SEE YOU'RE DEALIN' WITH A LOT OF STUFF 621 00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:55,001 LET ME TAKE ONE THING OFF YOUR PLATE, 622 00:23:55,101 --> 00:23:56,368 YOUNG LINCOLN, LOOK AT THAT PROFILE 623 00:23:56,469 --> 00:23:57,870 THAT'S A PENNY, THAT'S A LUCKY PENNY. 624 00:23:57,970 --> 00:23:59,506 I FUCKIN' HATE PACINO. 625 00:23:59,606 --> 00:24:01,407 IS THAT RIGHT, 626 00:24:01,508 --> 00:24:03,610 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 627 00:24:22,829 --> 00:24:23,963 SO? 628 00:24:24,063 --> 00:24:26,132 MY FATE IS WITH THE LOSERS. 629 00:24:30,169 --> 00:24:31,638 FEEL LIKE DANCING? 630 00:24:31,738 --> 00:24:32,905 YEAH. 631 00:25:01,534 --> 00:25:02,569 I THINK THIS WENT MUCH BETTER 632 00:25:02,669 --> 00:25:05,705 THAN IT WOULD'VE WENT WITH VALHALLA CATERING. 633 00:25:11,778 --> 00:25:12,945 FUCK OFF. 634 00:25:36,002 --> 00:25:37,203 CHAD? 635 00:25:39,238 --> 00:25:40,607 CHAD. 636 00:25:45,177 --> 00:25:47,213 CHAD BABY, I'M SO SORRY. 637 00:25:55,254 --> 00:25:56,623 LET'S GO. 638 00:26:06,132 --> 00:26:07,333 FUCK THIS. 639 00:26:09,268 --> 00:26:11,671 IT'S LIKE A FAIRY TALE! 640 00:26:15,141 --> 00:26:18,210 * 641 00:26:25,217 --> 00:26:28,254 * 642 00:26:35,294 --> 00:26:38,330 * 643 00:26:44,637 --> 00:26:46,873 YOU STILL LIKE ME, RIGHT? 644 00:26:46,973 --> 00:26:50,309 I DO, BUT. 645 00:26:50,409 --> 00:26:51,944 I PROBABLY WOULD LIKE YOU MORE 646 00:26:52,044 --> 00:26:53,212 IF YOU WERE HELPING EDGAR ALLEN POE 647 00:26:53,312 --> 00:26:55,081 FIGHT VAMPIRES. 648 00:26:59,151 --> 00:27:00,319 OW. 649 00:27:01,287 --> 00:27:03,756 RON, WHAT DID STILTSKIN WRITE ON THE COMMENT CARD? 650 00:27:03,856 --> 00:27:04,824 I DON'T WANNA SAY-- I DON'T WANNA TELL YOU. 651 00:27:04,924 --> 00:27:07,093 LET ME GUESS, HE WROTE, 652 00:27:07,193 --> 00:27:08,895 "YOU FUCKIN' SUCK AT CATERING 653 00:27:08,995 --> 00:27:12,098 YOU FUCKIN' FAT FUCKIN' PIECES OF FUCKIN' SHIT, 654 00:27:12,198 --> 00:27:15,167 YOU FUCKIN' STUPID FUCKERS, FUCK YOU." 655 00:27:15,267 --> 00:27:17,704 ALL RIGHT YOU FREAKIN' ME OUT, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HE SAID. 656 00:27:17,804 --> 00:27:18,971 WORD FOR WORD? LOOK. 657 00:27:19,071 --> 00:27:22,108 * 658 00:27:29,115 --> 00:27:32,184 * 659 00:27:39,191 --> 00:27:42,228 * 660 00:27:49,135 --> 00:27:52,204 * 661 00:27:59,211 --> 00:28:02,248 * 662 00:28:07,854 --> 00:28:08,855 * T-R-E-E, TREE