(gentle christmas music)
- That's all you are, you know. You're a cheap, lousy maggot!
- Oh, and you're better? - I surely am.
- You'd best watch it.
We get outta here, I'm going to wring your neck.
(cackling)
- That's a laugh. You don't have the strength.
You never did and you never will.
- Evening, officers.
And the blessing of the season to the pair of you.
- Are you two ready to behave yourselves?
- Oh, like god's own angels. Isn't that right, shane?
- Truly 'tis.
- Enjoy christmas.
- Very magnanimous of you, sir.
- It's christmas eve.
What better time for magnanimity?
(keys jingling)
(upbeat christmas music)
(beatrice): Well, this is dull.
(amanda): Shh. She invited us.
- Please. They're family. Go be entertaining!
- I've allowed all your sisters into my home.
That's entertaining enough.
(snaps fingers) - go!
(sighs)
- Could I get you ladies a drink?
- I don't drink. - I would love one.
- What would you like?
- Oh, thomas, you know very well what I like.
It just doesn't suit polite company.
(sighs)
- So, margaret, where is this surprise you promised?
We came all the way to this cesspool of a city
On your insistence.
- Well, patience, camilla.
It will be worth the wait.
- Psst!
- What?
- Is this just for christmas eve?
- Oh! And christmas day. - Ah, bloody hell.
- Oh, language! I heard that.
- Oh, of course she bloody did.
- Heard that, too!
(sighs)
(kisses)
(sighs)
- So we fill out one of these for each,
In order to keep track.
- Can I help you, gentlemen?
- Us? - Gentlemen? Us.
(laughing boisterously)
Oh, that's rich.
- What can we do for you?
- Heard you were holding a shane mccowan?
We're here to post bail. - Hm.
- Oh! That won't be necessary.
We released him and his companion.
- What? When? - Oh, less than an hour ago.
- Thank you. - A slippery fish.
- Shh.
- They didn't seem happy about that.
- Mm.
- Thomas, amanda, is in charge
Of all of the police officers in toronto now.
- Oh, I couldn't think of a better choice.
A strong powerful man for a strong powerful job.
- Strange. I thought it was cream
That was supposed to rise to the top.
But I suppose in the police department,
Things are different. (knocking at door)
(margaret laughs uncomfortably) - I'll get that!
- Well, who else would? It is your home.
- Right you are. - Mm-hm. We're here.
- Oh! - Stating the bloody obvious
As always, higgins. - Language.
- It is my home.
- Yes, that's right, a home.
Not a beer parlour or a gin mill.
- No. Yes! - Henry, henry.
- Oh, yes, of course. Sorry. Ah, may I present the
Star of the silver screen,
The portrayer of the amazing agnes.
I give you all miss ruth newsome.
- Ooh! - Oh!
- Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you.
- Such an admirer. - Oh, it's all right.
It's all right. I'm a normal person,
Just like you. Just a...
More glamorous version of such, I suppose.
And, uh, so you must be the-- - oh!
- Three... - Yes, yes, three.
- Oh! Ooh.
The thr-- the three sisters that I have heard
So much about. - Oh, this is just beautiful.
- Don't touch that.
- Isn't she something, sir?
This is going to be a jolly evening.
- Ho. Ho. Ho...
(theme music)
(indistinct chatter)
(chuckling) - cheers!
- You must be missing your family.
- I am. - Hm.
Well, at least we have the brackenreids' party.
- Along with all of mrs. Brackenreid's family.
(sighs)
- You know, I never minded spending christmas alone.
- Right. But we were invited.
- Where is he?!
- Pardon? - Shane.
He deserted me minutes after you let us go.
Did he come back here? - Why would he do that?
- Well, I've long since stopped trying to reckon
What shane gets up to,
But you have to help me find him.
- Perhaps he went off with those two men
Who were just here looking for him.
- What two men?
- Two men came in offering to post his bail.
- Did one of them have an eye patch?
- Yes. - Oh, good lord.
- You know them?
- The murphys.
Shane's got himself in trouble with them.
- What kind of trouble?
- Well, if the murphys set foot in a police station,
Big trouble. Yeah, you have
To help me find him. Come on, boys.
- Perhaps the brackenreids' party can wait?
- Mm.
- Don't get me started on lillian gish.
- Ooh! - She just stole a role
That I... I deserve to play.
- Oh. - And wouldn't you like
To know how she did that? (women chuckling)
Uh-huh. Oh, oh! And the way
Th-th-that mabel norman and mary pickford
Fight behind the scenes. - Oh!
- A term that we use in my business,
You would not think they were ladies.
(chuckling) - oh.
- Like wild animals. - Oh. Hm.
- Excuse me.
Margaret.
(chuckling)
I thought you promised us a fun party.
So far, all I've heard are stories
About the goings-on of souls that are on the road...
To eternal damnation.
- I thought you would like it.
- Well, I do. Up to a point,
If only to know that they're going to get what they deserve.
(chuckling)
- Excellent. Um, attention everyone, please.
Uh, it's time for a parlour game.
Uh, does anyone have a favourite--
- Oh, oh! Squeal, piggy, squeal! - Oh!
- I want to play squeal, piggy, squeal.
- I would love to play.
As long as the two handsome gentlemen will join in.
- Do you hear that, sir? Handsome.
- Don't get excited, higgins.
That one would take a run at anyone in a pair of trousers.
And I mean anyone.
(laughing, chattering)
(jazzy music)
(man): That's on the house. Merry christmas.
(overlapping chatter)
- Do you mind if I join you a moment?
- Oh! Be my guest.
You look like a man with something on his mind.
- More like someone.
- Mm. Ah, must be nice.
- But I had a question for you.
- Question? - Well, advice actually.
- On your feet, lazybones.
(chuckling)
(soft music)
(hushed chatter)
- Toronto constabulary. - Ah, evening gentlemen.
I know my licence isn't yet renewed,
But these folks have nowhere else to go
And they deserve a little christmas cheer.
- We don't care about that. - Oh! You in for a drink?
- No. - We're looking for shane.
Has he been by?
Oh, ah, you can tell 'em.
- Shane was by. But I had to throw him out.
- Why?
- Well, he was pestering everyone
Trying to cadge a free drink.
- Well, if you threw him out every time he did that,
He'd never be in. - Yeah, yeah, I know.
But this night, I was fed up.
So I threw him out on his arse.
- Any idea where he might have gone?
- Oh, this time of the night? Try sally mclennane's.
- No, not, not her-- no.
- Don't worry yourself, kristy.
He's not going there for loving.
Sally's been selling poitín out the back of her store.
- Poitín?
- Uh, raw liquor.
Dirt cheap, but shane's got a taste for it.
- Well, there isn't a liquor made that shane
Doesn't have a taste for. Come on, I know where she is.
- Hey! Shane in any trouble?
- No more than normal.
- Ah, so, plenty, then.
Hey, coppers.
Best of the season to you.
(bright christmas music)
(laughing)
- Where's that little piggy?
(chuckling) whoo!
(sighs)
- This is so silly!
- Oh! - Squeal, piggy, squeal.
- Oink, oink, oink.
- Oh! Well, that is most definitely thomas.
Remind you of old times?
Me on your lap and you getting fresh.
- There were no old times, and I'm not getting fresh.
- Hm. You can believe what you want.
- All right, amanda, that's enough.
Get off my husband's lap. Go! Off.
- I'll go look for the mistletoe.
- Oh! You will not!
- You never like to share, margaret.
(indistinct chatter)
- Isn't this exciting? - Oh, it's a barrel of monkeys.
- The star of the adventures of agnes
In our very home.
That should certainly show my sisters
The circle in which I now travel.
- I'm all of aflutter.
Where's my flask? - Your what?
- My regimental flask.
Sterling silver. I keep it by the bar.
Have you moved it?
- I certainly did not. - Hm.
- Another game. Another game!
- Yes, as long as I get to sit on thomas' lap.
- You know, sir, sometimes ruth just throws away my things
If she doesn't like them.
- Margaret wouldn't do that.
Oh, and higgins,
You shouldn't let your wife ride roughshod over you.
- Sometimes it's just easier, sir.
- I know. I know.
- I gave him some. He practically begged me for it.
- I'll see he repays you for it.
- Doubt that.
What sort of mess he gets himself into this time?
- He's on the run from the murphys.
- Ah, then he'll be grand. The murphys won't do much more
Than give shane a beating and he's had plenty of those
In his time.
There must be something else.
- Ah, damn.
- What is it?
- Shane told me he had a sure thing,
18-to-one odds. He placed a bet.
- How did the horse do?
- Pulled up lame. Never finished the race.
- So he owes these murphys money?
- Ah, the murphys don't touch the ponies.
- Then why are these murphys after him?
- He must owe them money for something else.
- Might he have left the city?
- Shane's no runner.
This dirty old town's the only place he knows.
- You there.
I think it's safe to say shane's got himself
Into a proper mess this time.
Shortly after you left, mcbride showed up.
- Listen up!
Ten dollars for whoever can bring me shane mccowan.
(glass shattering)
(shouting)
- He didn't say anything about alive or dead,
But I'll wager the former. - Is that so?
- Doubt he'd deny himself the pleasure.
- If mcbride's after shane, you have to help me find him.
(sighs)
- We'll do our best.
In for a dime, in for a dollar, I'd say.
- I have an idea where to look.
(overlapping chatter)
(jazzy music)
- Ah, llewellyn.
- Château haut-brion. Oh, no, violet, I cannot accept.
- Well, it's not from me.
- Then who?
- A secret admirer, I suppose.
- Oh!
Oh! That's the stuff.
(chuckling) - enjoy it.
And if you're lucky, enjoy what's to come.
- Ah. (hart laughs)
(♪♪)
- Why would he come here?
- Shane often ends up down here when he hits hard times.
- Oh, no. Blood.
- Don't go any further, miss.
(sighs)
- Good lord. That's shane's.
(higgins): A crystal chandelier?
(amanda): Um, a, a, a broom?
(camilla): A christmas ornament?
(beatrice): A, a lampshade?
(higgins): A candy cane?
(amanda): A, a, a bell. A bell?
- Mm-mm. - Oh, ooh! A statue? Mm-hm.
- A tree?
- A different sort of tree?
- No, no, no!
- Uh, a, a beautiful giraffe?
- Oh, henry, I'm not trying to be a giraffe.
Don't be silly.
If I was trying to be a giraffe, I would just do this.
See? - Hm.
- Are you sure you're not a tree?
- Oh... - So your flask is missing
And you think one of my sisters took it?
- Well, someone did.
- Well, it wasn't my relatives.
You likely just misplaced it. - I didn't misplace it!
- And mind yourself around amanda.
She's told me all about you. - All about?
There is nothing "all about."
- Well, that's not what she said.
Look, I know she's an attractive woman
And she probably reminds you of me, but--
- I'm not interested in your sister.
I just want my bloody flask back.
You're a cactus. - Yes! Thank you.
A cactus! It's plain as day.
- Ha, ha. A cactus. How clever, dear.
(amanda): And you're telling me that's not some sort of tree?
- It is not a tree. It is a succulent.
- A what? - Thank you!
- I don't know what that is. Do you?
- Shane lost his cross. It doesn't mean anything.
- Well, the pool of blood is somewhat concerning.
- Was he wearing it when you were arrested?
- Ah, I can't remember. Look, truth be told,
Both shane and I had a thirst like the devil today.
But I, I think he had it on.
- Where else might he have gone?
- Well, this was my best guess.
(sighs) - well, I'm afraid
There's not much more we can do for you.
- So you're going to abandon me and let a good man die?
On christmas eve?
- A good man?
He sounds like a drunkard, a gambler, and a thief,
Who owes money all over town.
- That makes him no less a good man.
Some of us are plagued by demons, sir.
There's not much to do about it.
- Don't worry, kristy. We're here.
- Thank you, frank.
Now you two go back to your cozy homes
And a merry christmas to the both of youse.
- Well, what do you think?
- If these murphys and this mr. Mcbride
Are as dangerous as they all say,
They're going to need our help.
- You really don't want to go to the brackenreids' party, do you?
- Just protecting and serving, sir.
- Yeah.
- For many, acting is not as easy as it looks.
Myself, it seems, ah, it's just in my blood.
I hardly have to give any thought to bringing life
Into my performances. I just empty my head
Of all thoughts and do.
- Hm. That must be a struggle for you.
- It is. It is! Thank you.
I have so many thoughts rattling around in this brain of mine.
- I thought I heard something when you shook your head.
I thought it was marbles.
(chuckling)
- Did that cal whitman fellow really try and kill you?
- Oh, he did. He did.
But, in truth, who could blame him?
He was consumed with jealousy and envy,
Aware that his talents really couldn't compete with...
Oh, henry, where's my drink?
- Oh! Right away, ruthie poo.
- No, no, no. Not in public. Not in public.
Uh, but, yes. Oh! Cal whitman
Is a bounder, and a cad, and a phony.
- He must have fit in well in your business.
- Oh, bea!
- You seem troubled, sir.
- One of margaret's sisters stole my flask. I'm sure of it.
- Which one?
- Well, they all have their reasons.
Beatrice is a teetotal,
So she doesn't like me drinking.
Camilla hates the police and me in particular,
So she would do it just to spite me.
- And amanda, sir? - Ooh, amanda. Huh.
She would do it just to tease me.
She has the hots for me, always has.
(chuckling) - the hots for you, sir?
- Yes. Is that strange to contemplate?
- Well, I mean, it's...
No, sir, it's not strange at all.
- Just see what you can find out, higgins.
♪ good tidings we bring ♪
♪ to you and your kin ♪
♪ we wish you a merry christmas... ♪
- I need to step inside for a moment.
- You buying me and the lads a drink for our assistance?
- Ah, no.
- Never hurts to try, does it, chief?
- I suppose not.
So, what's a fellow like you doing working on christmas eve?
- Well, christmas is for everyone, sir.
Even the lost souls.
I keep my place open on the eve
For their comfort and camaraderie.
My family understands that I'll be there for them
On christmas day.
- That's very generous of you.
- Oh, can be a lonely time, christmas, for some, sir.
(overlapping chatter)
- Miss hart. - Detective!
Well, I must say this is a surprise.
Wha-what are you doing here on christmas eve?
- I'm looking for an irish man named shane.
- Oh. The man with the rotten mouth and the powerful thirst?
- That sounds like him.
- Well, I haven't seen him in months,
Not since I banned him.
- Let me guess: He owes you money?
- Indeed. I've also caught him here after hours
More than once.
He's a colourful character, always hoping
He could pay his bill with stories.
What did he do?
- I have no idea, but some very dangerous people are after him.
- And you're trying to save him.
That's a noble pursuit on christmas eve.
Hm.
Could I offer you a drink?
It's quite lively in here tonight.
- Thank you, but it is lively enough for me out there.
(roaring) (ruth): Oh! A lion?
(margaret): No. Oh.
- Oh! - Oh, oh! The chief constable.
You're trying to be the chief constable.
- No, she's bloody not.
- Ooh! Hello. Aren't you the saucy one.
(chuckling) - excuse me. I'm sorry.
- No, no need for apologies.
I know you've been eyeing me up since you got here.
Don't think I haven't noticed.
- Oh, the wind! The wind! You're trying to be the wind!
- No. - I will confess,
I've always been attracted to a man in uniform.
- Well, I'm... Not in uniform.
- In or out, doesn't matter much to me.
(chuckling)
- Well, I think I've had just about enough.
I'm leaving. No need for you to come along.
- But ruth! Higgins, please! - Ruth!
- Don't, don't, don't touch me. Two-timer.
- I didn't do anything. - Well, it certainly
Didn't look like that.
- She made a play for me.
- You?
- I think she's a sex maniac.
The chief constable told me as much.
She even made a pass at him. - Him?
- Well, that's what I thought, but I think it's true.
- But... You're mine?
- Forever and ever, love dove.
- And you don't have eyes for anybody else?
- I would rather be blind
If I couldn't look at you every morning.
- Oh...
I have a new game.
- Oh! - Who wants to play?
♪ joy to the world ♪
♪ the lord is come ♪
♪ let earth receive her king ♪
♪ let every heart ♪
♪ prepare him room ♪
♪ and heaven and nature sing ♪
♪ and heaven and heaven ♪
♪ and nature sing ♪♪
- Bravo! (applause)
(chuckling) that was lovely.
- Oh, thank you. And if you need a place
To celebrate christmas, we can offer shelter.
- Wow. Thanks, chief,
But we got, uh, plenty of places to celebrate.
- Right. You know where else he could be?
- Well,
If we haven't found him by now, he's long gone.
Sorry, kristy, but I'm sure
He'll fare well.
When has he not?
- I suppose.
- Well, that's that, then.
Thanks for your help, coppers.
You done right by us. It's appreciated.
♪ so come fill up your glasses ♪
- That's shane.
♪ of brandy and wine ♪
♪ whatever it costs ♪
♪ I will pay ♪
♪ so be easy and free ♪
♪ when you're drinking with me ♪
♪ I'm a man you don't meet every day ♪♪
(ominous music)
(scattered clapping)
- Now that was lovely.
- Brings a tear. It does.
- So what now?
- Get outta here.
- The debt's paid, is it?
- Far from that.
- But the lord's mercy's with you on this holy night.
Now skedaddle.
- You know I'm good for it.
- Well, you'd best be! Or we'll fetch you again.
- Well, seems we've done our good deed for the year.
- Ma'd be proud.
- Would she now?
Huh? Where is he?
- Who?
- Don't be playing daft with me, boy.
I heard him caterwauling a mile away.
- It's almost christmas day,
The eve of the birth of our lord and saviour.
- Aye.
- We opted for mercy.
- Oh.
(inhales sharply)
Not a wise move.
- Who did this to you?
- Someone a bit more skilled
In the art of fisticuffs than ourselves.
- You were messing with mcbride?
- More like he was messing with us.
- Seems we're not the only ones shane's in debt to.
- Did he take shane? - No.
Shane scarpered before mcbride showed up.
- Where? - Down mccaul.
- Did you tell this mcbride fellow where he went?
- We did not. We sent mcbride off in the wrong direction.
- Oh.
Do you two require medical assistance?
- Why?
- Ain't nothing ailing us.
- Well, this could go on all night.
- Hm.
You think he's safe and sound, then?
- He appears to have avoided trouble so far.
Thank you, gentlemen, for your help,
But I think we've gone as far as we can go.
- Ah, he's probably long gone.
- You all have some place to spend christmas, I take it?
- Oh, the city's our home.
That's good enough for us.
But thanks for helping us out with shane.
Merry christmas, sirs.
(soft unsettling music)
- All right, the coppers are gone.
Where did shane get off to?
- Don't know about that,
But I know where he was heading when we caught up with him.
(exhales)
- Some assistance would be appreciated.
- I didn't think you invited us here to work.
- Oh! Well, I-I'll help, mrs. Brackenreid.
- Oh, no, you mustn't. You're the guest of honour!
- Oh, no. I'd be delighted.
Henry, go get some apples.
You... You do have apples, don't you?
- Oh! Indeed, we do. - Henry, those apples, now.
- Just this way.
- The rest of us should choose a partner.
- I choose henry. - Oh, no, no, no.
Sorry, you can't. Henry is allergic to water.
- Allergic to water? - Mm.
- Oh, how does he bathe?
- Infrequently, unfortunately. - Oh.
- But I'll be your partner.
Given the size of your mouth, I'm sure you'll have no trouble
Snagging an apple.
And I mean that in the nicest way possible,
Of course.
For some, a-a big mouth is a sign of beauty.
- This is bollocks!
- You don't want to play, sir?
- Margaret's christmas present has gone missing.
You keep an eye on this lot.
I'm going to get to the bottom of this.
- Sir.
- Mr. Higgins-- - oh, it's, ah, higgins-newsome.
- Oh! Of course. - Hm.
- I'm sorry to hear about your affliction.
It must be terrible.
- My what? - Oh, no. Henry doesn't like
To talk about it. Do you, dear?
- Uh, quite right. - Mm.
Well, I think we'll begin with beatrice and... Margaret.
- Oh!
(both): Wonderful.
(upbeat music)
- Whoo! Ah!
(jazzy music)
(crowd cheering)
- Hey, do you mind?
- Oh, ooh. Not at all. Be my guest. Not at all.
- I'm so glad you came.
I know this isn't a normal christmas celebration.
- No, no. It's better.
- Well, you know, violet isn't fond of many people,
But she does like you. - And I like her as well.
- Yeah, but you have to admit, the woman is a mystery.
- Which makes her all the more interesting.
- I agree. I agree.
She's also a mystery I, uh, intend to solve.
- Mm. Good luck.
- With, uh...
This. - Oh!
(choking)
- I intend to marry her.
- Uh, well, she could do much worse. Ha.
- Do you think she'll say yes?
- Not something I can answer.
Like you say, she is a mystery.
- Oh, well...
I suppose there's only one way to find out.
- Uh-huh.
(upbeat jazzy music)
(distant chatter)
- What do you think you're doing?
Are you thieving?
- Quite the opposite.
I'm actually looking for a thief.
- You coppers are all alike,
Suspicious of anyone that isn't your own kind.
Look in my valise if you want.
- One of you lot stole my wife's christmas present.
- You think one of her loving sisters stole it?
(huffs)
You know, I feel sorry for margaret.
Living with you must be a trial.
(amanda screaming) - who's squealing now, piggy?
Oh, that's it! You can do it! Just try harder.
(gasping)
- You trying to kill me?
- I am not! I am just trying to help us win.
- No, you're not. You're a lunatic.
You were trying to drown me.
- Maybe that's what you get for putting hands on my henny penny!
- Your what?
There is no need for such filth.
- Please, ladies, we're just trying
To have a nice christmas!
- A nice christmas?
That's a rich one. Your husband is a thief.
- What? - A thief?
- He was going through our belongings in the bedroom.
- Thomas!
- Well, if you wanted to see my unmentionables,
You just had to ask.
- I do not want to look at your...
(sighs) margaret,
One of your sisters stole your christmas present.
- That's an outrageous accusation!
- One of you lot stole my silver flask
And the necklace that I got for margaret.
- Oh, you got me that necklace.
- Oh, I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't lose them both
In one of your drunken stupors.
- I don't know what you ever saw in that man!
- Well, I do.
But if you want proof that I didn't take it,
I'd be happy to have you search me.
- Oh, be quiet, amanda!
- Margaret, when you were kids,
You said that beatrice always was sticky-fingered.
- Ah! You told him that? How could you?
- No-- - the doctor said
That it was just a condition!
(gasping) ah, y-y-you're awful!
(crying)
- Excuse me, excuse me!
We really should finish the game.
It's not christmas until we finish the game.
(beatrice crying)
- It's not christmas.
Get out.
- Camilla, beatrice, amanda, get out!
- Margaret! - Get out!
(overlapping shouting) henry higgins! Out!
- Where's my coat? - All of you! Out!
Out of my house! Not you, thomas!
- Merry christmas, sir. - Merry christmas, higgins.
(breathing heavily) - my christmas!
♪ la-la-la-la ♪
♪ la-la-la-la ♪♪
- Thank you, both. Every holiday,
Some families gotta make an impossible choice,
Celebrate or put food on the table.
- You do good work on this and every night.
Well, it's far too late to head to the brackenreid's now,
Wouldn't you say? - Far too late.
(sighs)
- What do you say, murdoch?
A drink with the boss on christmas eve?
- I could certainly do worse.
(chuckling)
(indistinct chatter)
- I heard the trumpet player left.
I wanted to thank him-- - oh!
- ...For the wine. - You thought it was leonard.
- Is that his name?
- Indeed. - Mm-hm.
- Don't worry. This is going to be fun.
- Oh.
Henry...
- Ah, ladies and gentlemen,
Allow me to introduce star of the silver screen,
Ruth newsome!
(faint chatter)
- Well, isn't this nice?
- Um, nice, dear?
- Yes, they've, they've decided to respect my privacy. Oh.
- Huh.
- Did you enjoy the wine?
- Oh!
Very much so.
- Surprised to see me?
- Ah, uh...
Mm... Pleased is more like it.
I thought you were attending to your studies.
- I came back to toronto for the holidays.
- Oh. Well, I'm happy to see you
And the, the wine was, was delicious.
- Well, I just happen to have another bottle.
I just need a place to drink it.
- It's quite noisy here.
- And crowded. - Much, much too crowded.
- I'll grab my coat. - Uh-huh.
(jazzy music)
- Be good lads and don't tell a soul.
I just need a place to rest.
- We won't if you don't. - Deal.
- I know another way.
- Margaret.
- Don't, thomas. Just don't.
No children, no visitors.
This is the worst christmas ever.
- Doesn't need to be. - Well, it is.
- It hasn't even started yet.
- Thomas, just--
Wha--? (laughing)
What are you doing?
- Let's go dancing.
(scoffs) - now? On christmas eve.
- Miss hart is holding a soirée at the starbright club.
I think that you should go and put on your dancing shoes.
- You don't even like dancing.
- No. But I know you do.
- Well, I'll need a moment.
- 'course.
(sighs)
- Now I remember why I don't spend time with my sisters.
- Aye.
- Oh! (laughing)
- Spruce beer? You don't drink, detective?
- Only on the rarest of occasions.
- Hm.
- Violet, uh, could I have a moment?
- Isaiah, I thought we agreed no presents.
- Well, this isn't exactly a present.
Violet hart...
(stomping)
- Nobody moves.
Show yourself, shane.
Or your life is going to forever change.
(grunting)
- Let me go! - Shut your gob.
You. Sit down.
- Toronto constabulary. Put down the weapon.
- I don't want any trouble.
- A curious way of showing that.
- I'm simply here to see a debt is properly settled.
I want to see shane mccowan.
- Well, shane most certainly is not here.
- You're the only boozer in town still open.
- I'd hardly call my club a boozer.
- Let the young lady go,
And there'll be no further trouble.
- There'll be no further trouble
If you deliver me mccowan.
- And I will. Let the woman go,
I'll find shane mccowan and see that your debt is repaid.
- My truck is with shane.
I don't need any coppers involved,
And I surely don't need your help.
Show yourself, shane!
Or I swear, this christmas'll be your last.
What are you lot doing?
It's christmas eve. Give us a song.
(jazzy music resumes)
- What do we do, sirs?
- We could rush him.
There's no way he could get all of us.
- Sir, the detective and I both have children at home.
Wouldn't be much of a christmas if their fathers were to perish.
- Detective? - I have to agree with henry.
- Thank you, sir.
- Regardless of what we do,
One of us is liable to get shot.
(gunshot)
(screaming) - that's enough of the music!
Now shane, I got kristy here,
So get on out so these good people
Can enjoy their christmas.
Say something, uh?
(kristy): Shane. If you're here...
Run!
- Not that!
- We have no choice. We're going to have to rush him.
- You're right. - Shane!
Get out here and face the music
Or I'm taking miss kristy here with me,
And you won't be seeing her again.
- I'll go for the gun.
You go low, you go high. Ready?
- You leave her be, mcbride!
- Ah, I thought that would get your attention.
My money. - I don't have it.
But I can pay with my life if you let her go.
- No. Run, shane. - I will not!
- Well, if mcbride shoots me,
The coppers will surely get him, then you won't have to
.Worry about him any longer!
- No. I won't leave. Kristy.
I loves ya.
I bless the day I found you.
I got no life without ya. You're the measure of my dreams.
- Shane.
- Mrs. Brackenreid. - Oh.
(chuckling)
- Can't hear any music.
- Not much of a soirée. I suppose we've missed it?
- Strange.
Miss hart assured me that the party would go 'til dawn.
Look, you stay here with the driver,
And I'll go take a look. Oh, uh...
Something to remember me by. (chuckling)
- In case I never see you again. Ha, ha, ha.
- Take me, mcbride.
I'm ready to go.
Ready to go to the place where the streams of whisky
Are flowing.
- Where is this place?
- I believe he's referring to his version of heaven.
- Let's go, shane.
And let these good people enjoy their party.
- Oi, big fella.
- Oh!
(people gasping)
- I'll take that, mr. Mccowan.
- Just being of assistance, sir. - Hm.
- Merry christmas, sir.
- I suppose you lot were all just waiting for me
To show up and do something.
- Oh, shane.
(indistinct chatter)
- Terribly sorry for the interruption,
Ladies and gentlemen. But let's not let a little thing
Like hostage-taking ruin our evening.
(chuckling)
Gentlemen.
(jazzy music resumes)
- That's a nice necklace.
- Oh, this old thing? I, I've had it for ages.
(laughing)
- Ruth?!
- Ah, we really should leave, henry.
- It was you? - I don't know why.
I, I, I saw it and I took it. Sometimes when I see something
I want I can't help, I just-- we really have to leave, henry.
Please, please, please, please. - Oh, ruth. Hello!
- Ha! - Quite the soirée
For a christmas eve, isn't it higgins?
- Uh-huh. - Definitely a step up
From bobbing for bloody apples.
- Oh, oh. Right you are, sir.
- Henry, let's go. - Yes, let's.
- Oh! Young love.
- Oh, it's definitely overrated, darling.
- Oh! (laughing)
Ooh!
- Uh, begging your pardon, uh, ladies and gentlemen, but, uh,
I need a word with our hostess.
She's been so busy making sure this party is a success
That I haven't had a chance to, uh,
Say a word to her, so...
I thought this was the only way to get her attention.
Miss hart, thank you for this party
And the, uh, rather unexpected floor show.
(chuckling)
But I am left with a question.
(gasping)
And I need an answer.
- The man's got stones, I'll give him that.
- Oh, indeed he does.
- Miss violet hart,
On this most auspicious evening...
(chuckling)
Will you do me the honour of being my wife?
- Yes.
(applause)
- Ladies and gentlemen, the bar is open.
(cheering)
Yes, that includes you.
(laughing)
- Well, that all worked out, didn't it?
- Well, yes, sir. It certainly did.
(soft christmas music)
- Merry christmas.
I got enough to cover your debts.
- Thanks, love.
- That was the bravest thing I ever saw.
- I'd never let ill come to you, kristy.
Ah!
- Looks like you've gotten a chance at a fresh start.
Perhaps you should take it.
- I surely will, sir. I surely will.
- We'll keep our noses clean.
- Merry christmas.
- You sure you got enough to cover it all?
- More than enough.
- So would you say no to another drink, then?
- I thought you'd never ask.
But first!
- Right. - We have to make this right.
- Higgins, that was quick. - Ha.
Well, ruth has something that she would like to say.
Isn't that right, ruth?
- Somehow these ended up with my things.
Not quite sure how.
- Ended up? - That's what I said.
Just ended up there.
- And ruth would like to say she is very sorry,
Wouldn't you, ruth?
- I'm... Very sorry.
It's just sometimes I see something that I want
And something just comes over me!
- She's my little magpie. - Hm.
- Well, huh, we'd best be off.
Merry christmas, brackenreids.
- Merry christmas, higgins. - Newsome.
- Come along, dear.
(sighs) - it's the exact one.
- I see you admiring it every time we walk past russell's.
- Oh.
- I believe I owe your sisters an apology.
(sighs) - yes, you do.
- If I may,
You people opened your hearts and your purse to me,
And I can't give you much but a song.
(soft music)
♪ it was christmas eve, babe ♪
♪ in the drunk tank ♪
♪ an old man said to me ♪
(chuckling)
♪ won't see another one ♪
♪ and then he sang a song ♪
♪ the rare old mountain dew ♪
♪ I turned my face away ♪
♪ and dreamed about you ♪
♪ got on a lucky one ♪
♪ came in eighteen to one ♪
♪ I've got a feeling ♪
♪ this year's for me and you ♪
♪ so happy christmas ♪
♪ I love you baby ♪
♪ I can see a better time ♪
- There you go. Let me take a look at ya.
♪ when all our dreams come true ♪
- I've brought the mistletoe.
- Merry christmas. (chuckling)
- Mm.
- Ruth.
Take the long way home, driver.
(horse neighing)
(laughing)
♪ you were handsome ♪
♪ you were pretty ♪
♪ queen of new york city ♪
♪ when the band finished playing ♪
♪ they howled out for more ♪
♪ caruso was swinging ♪
♪ all the drunks they were singing ♪
♪ we kissed on the corner ♪
♪ then danced through the night ♪
♪ the boys of the toronto pd choir ♪
♪ were singing galway bay ♪
(laughing)
♪ and the bells were ringing out for... ♪
- I miss you, too.
But I'll be seeing you soon.
(theme music)