1
00:00:46,130 --> 00:00:48,800
[Laughing]
2
00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:00,060
[Audience booing ]
3
00:01:02,310 --> 00:01:03,640
HIGGINS:
Enough already!
4
00:01:03,850 --> 00:01:04,980
Let's have Bert Grady!
5
00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:06,770
HIGGINS:
Yeah.
6
00:01:06,980 --> 00:01:08,770
- Boo!
- Oh, come on, Higgins.
7
00:01:08,980 --> 00:01:09,980
- Don't --
- Boo!
8
00:01:10,190 --> 00:01:12,610
[ Booing continues]
9
00:01:12,820 --> 00:01:14,280
- CRABTREE: Higgins!
- HIGGINS: [ Laughs]
10
00:01:14,490 --> 00:01:16,410
- Oh, here we go.
- MAN: People, please!
11
00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:20,240
Let's give a hand to this fine
young juggler, W.C. Fields!
12
00:01:20,450 --> 00:01:21,910
And now the funniest man
in vaudeville...
13
00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:24,660
- Bert Grady!
-...Bert Grady!
14
00:01:24,870 --> 00:01:27,170
[Cheers and applause]
15
00:01:29,250 --> 00:01:32,260
[ Laughter]
16
00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:33,880
- That was saucy.
- Bravo!
17
00:01:34,090 --> 00:01:36,300
Very saucy.
Very saucy.
18
00:01:36,510 --> 00:01:38,640
I sat down next to a guy
at the tavern.
19
00:01:38,850 --> 00:01:39,850
A chatty type-
20
00:01:40,050 --> 00:01:41,720
He told me that his
mother-in-law was an angel.
21
00:01:41,930 --> 00:01:44,560
I said, "Lucky you.
Mine's still alive."
22
00:01:46,190 --> 00:01:47,690
But that's not entirely true.
23
00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:50,020
I do have a soft spot
for my mother-in-law.
24
00:01:50,230 --> 00:01:51,980
It's right behind this theater,
in fact.
25
00:01:52,190 --> 00:01:54,280
[ Laughter]
26
00:01:54,490 --> 00:01:56,030
I missed her at first.
27
00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:58,200
So I reloaded and tried again.
28
00:01:58,410 --> 00:01:59,530
That did it.
29
00:01:59,740 --> 00:02:00,950
Now, you can't blame me.
30
00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:03,120
She told me she always wanted to
go down under.
31
00:02:03,330 --> 00:02:05,290
I just didn't realize
"down under" meant Australia
32
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:06,540
till it was too late.
33
00:02:06,750 --> 00:02:08,250
Now she's six feet under.
34
00:02:08,460 --> 00:02:09,330
[ Laughter]
35
00:02:09,540 --> 00:02:11,340
Not that she cared for me much
either, though.
36
00:02:11,540 --> 00:02:13,250
She said that she was gonna
dance on my grave.
37
00:02:13,460 --> 00:02:16,470
I said, "I hope you do, 'cause
I plan to be buried at sea."
38
00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:20,600
Thank you all very much.
39
00:02:21,260 --> 00:02:23,260
Thank you.
40
00:02:23,850 --> 00:02:25,020
Thank you.
41
00:02:25,220 --> 00:02:27,020
[Whistles]
42
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,190
Ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls.
43
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:33,820
A round of applause
if you think that -- hmm --
44
00:02:34,030 --> 00:02:38,450
W.C. Fields should win
the audience prize!
45
00:02:38,660 --> 00:02:41,120
- What are you doing?
- I don't even have to ask, do I?
46
00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:45,500
Once again the audience prize
goes to...
47
00:02:45,700 --> 00:02:46,830
Mr. Bert Grady!
48
00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:50,000
-[ Cheers and applause]
- HIGGINS: He deserves it.
49
00:02:50,210 --> 00:02:52,250
- Do, huh?
- Yes, he does.
50
00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:55,300
We should try to meet him
this time.
51
00:02:55,510 --> 00:02:57,920
Actually, I had a thought
about that, Henry.
52
00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:04,220
I noticed last time
that Bert Grady didn't leave
53
00:03:04,430 --> 00:03:06,020
by the front doors
with the rest of the performers.
54
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:08,520
He must have slipped out
this way to avoid the fanfare.
55
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:09,850
We should pitch him our jokes.
56
00:03:10,060 --> 00:03:12,150
No.
They're not ready yet, Henry.
57
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:13,980
What's this?
58
00:03:14,190 --> 00:03:16,980
I told you I don't want to be
pestered after shows.
59
00:03:17,190 --> 00:03:17,990
I'm sorry, sir.
60
00:03:18,190 --> 00:03:19,610
I'm sure if you sign
an autograph,
61
00:03:19,820 --> 00:03:20,660
you can be on your way.
62
00:03:20,860 --> 00:03:22,820
Well?
Pen and paper?
63
00:03:23,030 --> 00:03:24,580
Oh, no.
We're not like that.
64
00:03:24,780 --> 00:03:26,040
Uh, we're fans,
just not that kind.
65
00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:27,790
What the hell do you want, then?
66
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:31,870
- Hello.
-[ Sighs ]
67
00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:34,420
There'd better not be anyone
here to pester me
68
00:03:34,630 --> 00:03:35,710
tomorrow night, Lewis.
69
00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:37,260
We have to say something funny,
George.
70
00:03:37,460 --> 00:03:39,220
It's too late.
Just let him go.
71
00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:40,300
Uh, Mr. Grady?
72
00:03:40,510 --> 00:03:41,630
What now?
73
00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:43,090
CRABTREE:
We just wanted you to know
74
00:03:43,300 --> 00:03:44,930
how much we enjoyed
your monologue.
75
00:03:45,140 --> 00:03:48,140
And we've written some jokes
that we think you might like.
76
00:03:49,140 --> 00:03:51,440
Two constables are walking
the beat, and one of them --
77
00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:54,360
I write my own jokes.
78
00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:55,860
Thank you.
79
00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:58,030
Thank you.
80
00:03:59,860 --> 00:04:02,610
It's not easy being the star.
Don't take it personally.
81
00:04:02,820 --> 00:04:04,240
Oh, no.
Of course.
82
00:04:04,450 --> 00:04:06,330
Perhaps I can give you a tour
of the theater.
83
00:04:06,530 --> 00:04:08,160
Yes.
That would be terrific, Mr. --
84
00:04:08,370 --> 00:04:09,660
Lewis Hoffat.
85
00:04:09,870 --> 00:04:11,410
I'm the assistant manager
to Mr. Allen
86
00:04:11,620 --> 00:04:13,290
here at the Bradley Theatre.
87
00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:15,460
And I'd love to hear your jokes.
88
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:41,190
GRADY: What the hell
are you doing here?
89
00:04:42,650 --> 00:04:43,860
[Grunts]
90
00:04:44,070 --> 00:04:45,450
[ Weakly ]
Why?
91
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:47,120
[Grunts]
92
00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:49,330
[Gunshot]
93
00:04:58,250 --> 00:05:00,920
[ Indistinct conversations]
94
00:05:11,220 --> 00:05:12,850
Good evening, Dr. Grace.
95
00:05:13,060 --> 00:05:14,890
Detective.
96
00:05:15,730 --> 00:05:18,860
The deceased appears to be
someone of some notoriety.
97
00:05:19,070 --> 00:05:21,190
If you like that type of thing.
98
00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:24,610
He died about an hour ago --
approximately 11:00 p.m.
99
00:05:24,820 --> 00:05:26,990
Cause of death appears
obvious enough.
100
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:28,070
Following a postmortem,
101
00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:30,160
I hope to determine the caliber
of the bullet.
102
00:05:30,370 --> 00:05:32,950
I suspect you'll find
it was a .22.
103
00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:33,870
Mm.
104
00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:36,250
That's consistent
with what I'm seeing.
105
00:05:36,830 --> 00:05:39,130
MURDOCH:
Pockets are empty.
106
00:05:39,340 --> 00:05:42,670
No wallet, timepiece, keys.
107
00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:44,010
DR. GRACE:
A robbery.
108
00:05:44,220 --> 00:05:45,800
That's a rather violent one, no?
109
00:05:46,010 --> 00:05:47,680
- Were there any witnesses?
- Only one.
110
00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:50,430
A Miss Glenys Moore,
manager of the hotel.
111
00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:53,270
She overheard the deceased say
112
00:05:53,470 --> 00:05:55,020
"What the hell
are you doing here?"
113
00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:58,020
just prior to the gunshots,
but she didn't see the incident.
114
00:05:58,230 --> 00:05:59,770
Then he knew his killer.
115
00:05:59,980 --> 00:06:04,360
Perhaps he was relieved of his
valuables to imply a robbery.
116
00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:11,280
So, Henry, what do you do
if you miss your mother-in-law?
117
00:06:11,490 --> 00:06:13,830
Why, George, you reload
and you try again.
118
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,120
So I'm in a tavern
and a man next to me says,
119
00:06:16,330 --> 00:06:18,330
"My mother-in law is an angel,"
and I said to him...
120
00:06:18,540 --> 00:06:19,830
"You're lucky.
Mine is still alive."
121
00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:20,920
[ Both laugh ]
122
00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:22,590
Oi! Shh!
123
00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:24,550
How did that one
about the grave go?
124
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:26,510
Uh, "She never --
She never liked me either.
125
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,510
She said was gonna dance
on my grave.
126
00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:31,010
- And I said --"
- Henry, we should do our work.
127
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:35,520
"L said, 'I hope you do,
because I plan to be buried..."'
128
00:06:35,730 --> 00:06:37,310
"Buried at sea"!
[Laughs]
129
00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:39,400
What the hell are you two
cackling like schoolgirls for?
130
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,360
Sir, it was a terrific show last
night at the Bradley Theatre.
131
00:06:42,570 --> 00:06:43,400
You were there?
132
00:06:43,610 --> 00:06:44,980
Shame about Bert Grady.
133
00:06:45,570 --> 00:06:46,610
Uh, how do you mean, sir?
134
00:06:46,820 --> 00:06:48,240
He was gunned down
after the show.
135
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:51,370
I'm off to the theater
with Murdoch as we speak.
136
00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:54,040
CRABTREE:
I don't believe it.
137
00:07:00,370 --> 00:07:02,420
You know, I have soft spot
for my mother-in-law --
138
00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:03,750
Oh, Higgins, come on, man.
139
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:06,300
-It's just a joke, George.
- Well, he just died, Henry.
140
00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:07,670
It's too early for jokes.
141
00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:09,380
Too early.
142
00:07:10,050 --> 00:07:15,060
Oh, oh, oh.
143
00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:16,720
Oh...
144
00:07:16,930 --> 00:07:21,100
Oh, oh, oh...
145
00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:22,100
Oh.
146
00:07:22,310 --> 00:07:25,110
It's a moment of silence
for Mr. Grady.
147
00:07:31,570 --> 00:07:33,200
[Whoopee cushion blurts]
148
00:07:33,410 --> 00:07:34,990
[ Laughter]
149
00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:37,240
ALLEN:
Good!
150
00:07:37,450 --> 00:07:39,000
This some kind of a joke to you?
151
00:07:39,210 --> 00:07:40,710
Without Grady pulling in
the people,
152
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:43,130
we might all be out of a job.
153
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:44,500
Now, I know he was
a son of a bitch
154
00:07:44,710 --> 00:07:47,250
and some of you are glad to see
that he's gone.
155
00:07:47,460 --> 00:07:49,510
But you'd better start to pull
your weight.
156
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:50,760
One of you sad sacks
157
00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:53,470
might actually win
the audience prize now.
158
00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,010
So get back to work.
159
00:07:55,220 --> 00:07:56,430
You too, dummy.
160
00:07:58,350 --> 00:08:00,060
Excuse me.
Sir?
161
00:08:01,310 --> 00:08:03,190
Detective Murdoch,
Inspector Brackenreid
162
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:04,650
of the Toronto Constabulary.
163
00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:06,400
We'd like a word
about Mr. Grady.
164
00:08:06,610 --> 00:08:09,610
We gave him a minute of silence.
That's all that Grady deserved.
165
00:08:09,820 --> 00:08:10,700
We'll be investigating
166
00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:12,780
with or without
your cooperation, Mr. Allen.
167
00:08:12,990 --> 00:08:14,320
It's to your benefit
that we have it.
168
00:08:14,530 --> 00:08:16,280
Well, what's to investigate
here?
169
00:08:16,490 --> 00:08:17,790
The paper said it was a robbery.
170
00:08:17,990 --> 00:08:19,500
The robbery may have been staged
171
00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:21,370
to hide the killer's
true intentions.
172
00:08:21,580 --> 00:08:24,210
We have reason to believe that
Mr. Grady knew his attacker.
173
00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:26,670
We'll be speaking
with all your employees.
174
00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:28,800
Is there anything you care
to tell us before they do?
175
00:08:29,010 --> 00:08:30,130
Sure.
176
00:08:30,340 --> 00:08:32,340
Everybody hated him.
177
00:08:32,550 --> 00:08:34,220
Make yourselves at home,
gentlemen.
178
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:44,440
[Clears throat]
179
00:08:44,650 --> 00:08:46,940
Detective William Murdoch,
Toronto Constabulary.
180
00:08:47,150 --> 00:08:47,940
And you are?
181
00:08:48,150 --> 00:08:49,860
Uh, Ed Ward.
182
00:08:51,570 --> 00:08:52,570
And your surname?
183
00:08:52,780 --> 00:08:53,900
I just told you.
184
00:08:54,110 --> 00:08:55,450
You told me
your name was Edward.
185
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:57,530
That's right.
Ed Ward.
186
00:08:58,160 --> 00:08:59,240
Edward who?
187
00:08:59,450 --> 00:09:01,450
Ed Ward is my name.
188
00:09:01,660 --> 00:09:02,750
Sir, I need your surname.
189
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:04,920
Okay. You have it.
It's Ward.
190
00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:06,790
Ed Ward.
191
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,460
Ah.
192
00:09:08,670 --> 00:09:10,340
Hey.
Please, sit.
193
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,720
-[ Whoopee cushion blurts]
-[Laughs]
194
00:09:15,090 --> 00:09:16,470
Yeah.
Isn't that great?
195
00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:18,720
That is my flatulence sack, sir.
196
00:09:18,930 --> 00:09:20,180
Kids love this thing.
197
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:24,560
Mr. Grady performed
as a monologist,
198
00:09:24,770 --> 00:09:27,350
the most challenging
of disciplines in vaudeville.
199
00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:29,690
Was there jealousy
amongst the performers?
200
00:09:29,900 --> 00:09:32,190
Well, I mean, I suppose
we respected his talent,
201
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:34,200
just not the man himself.
202
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:35,860
Was he resented for his success?
203
00:09:36,070 --> 00:09:37,200
Well, not by me.
204
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:40,910
I'm considered the best
prop comedian in all of vaud.
205
00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:44,000
What do you think this is?
206
00:09:44,580 --> 00:09:45,540
A pole.
207
00:09:45,750 --> 00:09:46,710
Not just any pole.
208
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,250
It's my 11-foot pole.
209
00:09:48,460 --> 00:09:51,210
For everything I wouldn't touch
with my 10-foot pole.
210
00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:57,220
Anything else?
211
00:10:02,220 --> 00:10:03,640
Looks like you need
some practice.
212
00:10:03,850 --> 00:10:05,060
Catch.
213
00:10:06,140 --> 00:10:07,190
W.C. Fields, is it?
214
00:10:07,390 --> 00:10:08,190
Yeah.
215
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,650
And I'll be jumping the
first train back to the States
216
00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:12,020
once my contract's up.
217
00:10:12,230 --> 00:10:14,690
Audiences are more forgiving
there.
218
00:10:14,900 --> 00:10:17,530
Mr. Fields,
I believe that Mr. Grady
219
00:10:17,740 --> 00:10:20,280
pelted you with a tomato
onstage last night.
220
00:10:20,490 --> 00:10:22,280
Quite embarrassing,
I would have thought.
221
00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:25,750
Vaudevillians are supposed to
look out for one another,
222
00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:27,250
but not that man.
223
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:29,790
I don't suppose that compelled
you to seek retribution
224
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:30,790
after the show.
225
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:32,130
Retribution?
226
00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:33,590
For what?
227
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,920
Grady may have been a louse,
but he was right.
228
00:10:37,130 --> 00:10:39,340
I was horrible last night.
229
00:10:41,180 --> 00:10:42,720
- Yeah. Oop!
- Ooh.
230
00:10:43,350 --> 00:10:45,350
Not as easy as it looks.
231
00:10:53,730 --> 00:10:56,400
I understand Mr. Grady had been
winning the audience prize.
232
00:10:56,610 --> 00:10:59,990
Yes. Ever since he became
a monologist three months ago.
233
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:01,240
What did he do prior to that?
234
00:11:01,450 --> 00:11:03,950
He was in a prop-comic two-act
with Ed Ward.
235
00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:04,990
Oh.
They were partners?
236
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:07,200
Yes. Until he went off
to become a star.
237
00:11:07,410 --> 00:11:11,420
Mr. Ward has been unable
to match Grady's popularity.
238
00:11:22,220 --> 00:11:24,470
I'm glad to see you're putting
George's wedding present
239
00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:26,100
to good use.
240
00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:29,020
And I'm happy to have a wife
who's willing to accompany me
241
00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:30,270
on my investigations.
242
00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:32,350
I'm actually quite excited
about it.
243
00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:34,730
I haven't seen a vaudeville show
in ages.
244
00:11:34,940 --> 00:11:38,570
Oh, Julia, I'd be careful
to temper my expectations.
245
00:11:38,780 --> 00:11:40,530
I didn't find
any of the performers
246
00:11:40,740 --> 00:11:42,280
to be particularly amusing.
247
00:11:42,490 --> 00:11:43,870
You can hardly determine that
248
00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:46,200
from meeting them
in a murder investigation.
249
00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:51,460
What do you do
with an 11-foot pole?
250
00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:53,580
I couldn't be sure.
251
00:11:53,790 --> 00:11:56,800
You use it to touch the objects
you wouldn't otherwise touch
252
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,090
with a 10-foot pole.
253
00:12:01,550 --> 00:12:03,090
You see,
that's the sort of humor
254
00:12:03,300 --> 00:12:05,800
that will be on display
this evening.
255
00:12:06,010 --> 00:12:08,220
Well, I'm looking forward to it
all the same.
256
00:12:08,430 --> 00:12:11,640
Hopefully you'll glean something
for your investigation.
257
00:12:11,850 --> 00:12:13,190
Bert Grady, a monologist,
258
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,440
had been routinely winning
the audience prize.
259
00:12:15,650 --> 00:12:17,940
I wonder if one of
the performers murdered him
260
00:12:18,150 --> 00:12:20,400
to supplant him as the top act.
261
00:12:20,610 --> 00:12:22,240
It's possible.
262
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:25,120
The combination of professional
jealousy and monetary gain
263
00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:26,780
is reasonable motive.
264
00:12:28,450 --> 00:12:29,910
Shall we, Doctor?
265
00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:31,370
We shall.
266
00:12:31,580 --> 00:12:34,920
As long as you don't attempt
to tell any more jokes.
267
00:12:35,710 --> 00:12:38,050
CRABTREE: My mother-in-law
hates me so much
268
00:12:38,250 --> 00:12:40,130
she said she'd dance
on my grave.
269
00:12:40,340 --> 00:12:42,630
I said, "Good.
I plan to be buried at sea."
270
00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:45,220
[ Laughing ]
That's awful, George.
271
00:12:45,430 --> 00:12:46,930
You do know in that scenario,
272
00:12:47,140 --> 00:12:49,520
she'd end up beside you
for an eternity.
273
00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:51,930
Yes. I suppose you're right.
Good thinking, Edna.
274
00:12:52,140 --> 00:12:53,640
I guess Bert Grady
didn't think of that
275
00:12:53,850 --> 00:12:55,940
when he conceived the joke.
276
00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:58,270
You should let me take you
to a show sometime.
277
00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:00,030
Oh, I don't know, George.
278
00:13:00,230 --> 00:13:01,570
Well, there's all kinds of acts
there.
279
00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:03,070
Something for everybody.
280
00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:04,950
Do you want me to just call
a plumber?
281
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:06,990
No!
Heavens.
282
00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:10,080
Never pay for what you can do
yourself for free.
283
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:11,290
There we go.
284
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:13,620
That's all it was --
a clogged P trap.
285
00:13:13,830 --> 00:13:15,580
I'm most thankful, George.
286
00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:21,210
It was my pleasure.
287
00:13:32,930 --> 00:13:34,940
[ Light laughter]
288
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:38,860
[ Laughter]
289
00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:53,330
[ Off-key notes play ]
290
00:13:53,540 --> 00:13:54,710
[ Laughter]
291
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:06,380
[Grunts]
292
00:14:06,590 --> 00:14:09,180
[Audience murmuring]
293
00:14:09,930 --> 00:14:11,930
[Applause]
294
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:24,740
[Applause]
295
00:14:26,650 --> 00:14:28,320
So the lady says to me,
"You should stop
296
00:14:28,530 --> 00:14:29,870
and smell the roses."
297
00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:33,240
So I says to her,
"You're all wet!"
298
00:14:33,450 --> 00:14:35,540
[ Laughter]
299
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:39,880
Hey, there, folks.
Settle down.
300
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:42,040
I got a real treat for you.
301
00:14:42,250 --> 00:14:43,300
Ever seen one of these?
302
00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:44,960
This is my 11-foot pole --
303
00:14:45,170 --> 00:14:48,550
for everything I wouldn't touch
with my 10-foot pole.
304
00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:51,550
[ Laughter]
305
00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:55,560
Well, it's funny
when he says it.
306
00:14:55,770 --> 00:14:58,480
Thank you!
I've been Ed Ward!
307
00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:01,150
ALLEN:
All right, ladies and gentlemen!
308
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:02,730
It's up to you.
309
00:15:02,940 --> 00:15:06,360
Now, who should win
the audience prize?
310
00:15:06,570 --> 00:15:07,690
Hmm?
311
00:15:07,900 --> 00:15:10,110
Should it be...
312
00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:13,950
W.C. Fields,
the eccentric juggler?
313
00:15:14,740 --> 00:15:19,330
Or should it be...
314
00:15:19,540 --> 00:15:22,540
Toronto's strongest man?
315
00:15:22,750 --> 00:15:23,500
Hmm?
316
00:15:23,710 --> 00:15:25,670
Ohh-hoo-hoo!
317
00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:31,510
Or should it be...Mr. Ed Ward?
318
00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:33,390
[Cheers and applause]
319
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:34,930
There you are,
ladies and gentlemen.
320
00:15:35,140 --> 00:15:41,730
The audience prize goes to
the one, the only Mr. Ed Ward!
321
00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:44,020
There you go, boy.
322
00:15:44,820 --> 00:15:46,690
It seems Mr. Ward is profiting
323
00:15:46,900 --> 00:15:48,780
from his former partner's
demise.
324
00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:49,820
Indeed.
325
00:15:50,030 --> 00:15:53,160
Jealousy, bad blood,
and now financial gain.
326
00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:55,080
DR. OGDEN:
Motive for murder?
327
00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:58,500
Mr. Ward is becoming
less amusing all the time.
328
00:16:04,710 --> 00:16:07,000
[Hinges squeak]
329
00:16:07,210 --> 00:16:08,840
Congratulations, Mr. Ward.
330
00:16:09,050 --> 00:16:10,720
Did you enjoy the show,
Detective?
331
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:12,090
My wife certainly did.
332
00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:13,010
Mm-hmm.
333
00:16:13,220 --> 00:16:15,180
Mr. Ward,
you neglected to mention
334
00:16:15,390 --> 00:16:17,180
that you and Mr. Grady
used to be partners.
335
00:16:17,390 --> 00:16:18,680
I fail to see the relevance.
336
00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:21,440
You now have a substantial
amount of money in your pocket
337
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:24,770
that would have otherwise gone
to Mr. Grady were still with us.
338
00:16:24,980 --> 00:16:26,940
[ Exhales sharply]
339
00:16:27,150 --> 00:16:29,360
You think I'm wrapped up
in this?
340
00:16:29,570 --> 00:16:32,280
Now is your opportunity
to convince me otherwise.
341
00:16:32,490 --> 00:16:33,610
Oh, no.
342
00:16:33,820 --> 00:16:35,280
L...l feel faint.
343
00:16:35,490 --> 00:16:37,580
-[ Whoopee cushion blurts]
- Oh, my.
344
00:16:38,700 --> 00:16:41,620
Mr. Ward, where were you
last night at 11:00?
345
00:16:41,830 --> 00:16:44,170
Last night?
I, uh, I-l...
346
00:16:44,370 --> 00:16:45,710
Please collect yourself
347
00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:48,170
and recall your whereabouts
last night, Mr. Ward.
348
00:16:48,380 --> 00:16:50,510
Uh...the dump.
349
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:51,800
I was at the dump.
350
00:16:52,380 --> 00:16:53,840
- The refuse dump?
- Yes! Yes.
351
00:16:54,050 --> 00:16:56,550
That's...That's where I get
all my props.
352
00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:57,970
At 11:00 at night?
353
00:16:58,180 --> 00:17:00,350
Please, sir.
You have to believe me.
354
00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:02,850
That's when the fresh load
comes in.
355
00:17:12,610 --> 00:17:14,740
Sir, I've just been to --
356
00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:16,570
Oh, are you making rubber bands
again?
357
00:17:16,780 --> 00:17:18,410
What have you, George?
358
00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:21,160
Uh, sir, I've just been
to the refuse dump.
359
00:17:21,370 --> 00:17:23,540
Uh, while nobody could confirm
that Mr. Ward was there
360
00:17:23,750 --> 00:17:25,750
at the exact time in question,
I have been told
361
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:27,460
that he frequents the place
late at night.
362
00:17:27,670 --> 00:17:30,380
That's the time, apparently --
when all the fresh loads arrive.
363
00:17:30,590 --> 00:17:33,220
Oh, yes.
Mr. Ward mentioned that.
364
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:36,430
George, if he is innocent, we
have to consider the possibility
365
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:37,510
that Mr. Grady's murder
366
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:39,560
may have nothing to do
with his colleagues.
367
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:40,810
Sir, what I keep wondering
368
00:17:41,010 --> 00:17:43,180
is what's Mr. Grady,
a man of means,
369
00:17:43,390 --> 00:17:45,480
even doing in that part of town
to begin with?
370
00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:48,150
That's an excellent question.
371
00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:02,700
Mrs. Moore?
372
00:18:02,910 --> 00:18:04,160
Miss.
373
00:18:04,370 --> 00:18:08,040
Miss Moore,
you overheard Mr. Grady saying,
374
00:18:08,250 --> 00:18:09,790
"What the hell
are you doing here?"
375
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,170
just prior to the gunshots.
376
00:18:11,380 --> 00:18:14,130
Yes -- as if he was surprised
to see the man.
377
00:18:14,340 --> 00:18:17,090
Likely even more surprised
when he was shot by him.
378
00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:19,760
How can you be sure
it was Mr. Grady's voice?
379
00:18:19,970 --> 00:18:22,350
Oh, I knew his voice.
He was always here.
380
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:23,560
Kept a room.
381
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:25,020
For what purpose?
382
00:18:25,230 --> 00:18:27,640
I believe he wrote his jokes
here.
383
00:18:27,850 --> 00:18:30,230
Always a notebook in hand.
384
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:32,270
But that's not all
he used it for.
385
00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:34,110
He had female company.
386
00:18:34,690 --> 00:18:36,150
Always the same woman.
387
00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:37,490
Could you describe her for us?
388
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:38,740
Slender woman.
389
00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:42,530
Handsome except for the scar
on the side of her face.
390
00:18:43,830 --> 00:18:46,120
[Birds chirping]
391
00:18:47,910 --> 00:18:50,210
[ Door opens]
392
00:18:54,090 --> 00:18:55,960
Oh, my.
393
00:18:56,170 --> 00:18:59,180
I should have required
a larger deposit.
394
00:18:59,380 --> 00:19:01,600
Miss Moore, did you notice
anybody suspicious in the hotel
395
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:03,310
the night of the murder?
396
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:04,640
In this hotel?
397
00:19:04,850 --> 00:19:07,230
We don't exactly cater to
Toronto's finest.
398
00:19:07,430 --> 00:19:09,440
I believe what
Constable Crabtree is asking
399
00:19:09,650 --> 00:19:11,270
is could someone
have slipped past you
400
00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:13,820
and gained entry
into Mr. Grady's room?
401
00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:14,820
I wouldn't know.
402
00:19:15,030 --> 00:19:17,860
I left the front desk
to see what happened outside.
403
00:19:19,990 --> 00:19:22,410
Well, clearly someone
was looking for something.
404
00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:23,870
This desk has been emptied out.
405
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:25,870
Do you know what Mr. Grady kept
in here?
406
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:27,950
I wouldn't know.
407
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:31,960
Sir, do you think Mr. Grady
was murdered for his jokes?
408
00:19:32,170 --> 00:19:33,290
That's possible.
409
00:19:33,500 --> 00:19:35,090
If that's the case, sir,
it stands to reason
410
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:37,460
that somebody at the theater
might be responsible.
411
00:19:37,670 --> 00:19:39,130
And that makes me wonder, sir,
412
00:19:39,340 --> 00:19:42,220
if we should have
a couple of constables
413
00:19:42,430 --> 00:19:43,510
stationed there at the theater,
414
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:45,970
undercover,
posing as performers,
415
00:19:46,180 --> 00:19:48,100
to keep an eye out
for anything suspicious.
416
00:19:48,310 --> 00:19:49,890
Who did you have in mind
exactly?
417
00:19:50,100 --> 00:19:51,850
Well, I hadn't given it
a great deal of thought, sir.
418
00:19:52,060 --> 00:19:53,110
But I suppose --
419
00:19:53,310 --> 00:19:55,070
Jackson and Worsley could do.
420
00:19:55,270 --> 00:19:55,980
Excellent idea.
421
00:19:56,190 --> 00:19:59,360
Uh, well, sir,
nothing against Worsley, but...
422
00:19:59,570 --> 00:20:01,150
Would you like to do it, George?
423
00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:02,410
Perhaps you and Henry?
424
00:20:02,610 --> 00:20:03,740
Sir, that's an excellent idea.
425
00:20:03,950 --> 00:20:06,280
In fact, Henry and I have been
working out a little routine.
426
00:20:06,490 --> 00:20:07,490
Mm.
427
00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:09,330
Just clear it
with Mr. Allen first.
428
00:20:09,540 --> 00:20:12,000
And don't forget why
you're there in the first place.
429
00:20:12,210 --> 00:20:13,880
Sir, absolutely.
430
00:20:21,590 --> 00:20:24,470
Inspector, there's been
a robbery at the Toronto Bank.
431
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:25,930
[ British accent]
Oh! Bloody hell!
432
00:20:26,140 --> 00:20:27,850
I know, sir.
It's quite unfortunate.
433
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:29,980
CRABTREE:
What -- What -- What is?
434
00:20:30,180 --> 00:20:31,440
The robbery.
435
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:32,520
What robbery?
436
00:20:32,730 --> 00:20:33,650
The Toronto Bank!
437
00:20:33,850 --> 00:20:34,980
I just told you
it's been robbed.
438
00:20:35,190 --> 00:20:36,980
- Isn't that why you cursed?
- No, Murdoch!
439
00:20:37,190 --> 00:20:40,440
I cursed 'cause I'm out
of bloody scotch!
440
00:20:41,110 --> 00:20:42,450
Pass.
441
00:20:42,650 --> 00:20:43,700
We've only just started.
442
00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:44,700
Pass.
443
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:46,990
Uh, Mr. Allen,
if somebody in your employ
444
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:48,950
is indeed responsible
for Mr. Grady's death,
445
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:50,910
is it not in your best interest
to have us around
446
00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:52,120
in case something happens?
447
00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:54,040
Fine.
You can be ushers.
448
00:20:54,250 --> 00:20:57,130
Sir, I will point out
that we do not have a two-act
449
00:20:57,340 --> 00:20:58,670
in our lineup presently.
450
00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:00,130
You know what else
we don't have?
451
00:21:00,340 --> 00:21:01,340
A cat orchestra.
452
00:21:01,550 --> 00:21:02,970
That's what people
really want to see.
453
00:21:03,180 --> 00:21:05,260
I will remind you that those are
very difficult to book.
454
00:21:05,470 --> 00:21:07,010
It's a dying art form, it seems.
455
00:21:07,220 --> 00:21:09,470
Damn it, Hoffat. I don't pay you
to tell me what we can't do.
456
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:10,930
I pay you to get things done.
457
00:21:11,140 --> 00:21:12,100
Yes. Of course.
You're right, sir.
458
00:21:12,310 --> 00:21:14,600
But nonetheless, I believe
that if we brought on a two-act,
459
00:21:14,810 --> 00:21:15,770
it might be beneficial.
460
00:21:15,980 --> 00:21:18,610
You really want me to put
these two coppers on the stage?
461
00:21:18,820 --> 00:21:20,360
E-Even if they flop,
it'll be good for business.
462
00:21:20,570 --> 00:21:22,900
- Remember the Cherry Sisters?
-[ Chuckles ]
463
00:21:23,110 --> 00:21:25,950
That was my mother-in-law's
brilliant idea.
464
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:28,450
Women just aren't funny.
465
00:21:28,660 --> 00:21:30,160
I'll never put one on the stage
again.
466
00:21:30,370 --> 00:21:31,790
Yeah, but they were so bad
467
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,040
that people came to see
just how bad they were.
468
00:21:34,250 --> 00:21:35,250
Audiences relish it.
469
00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:36,500
Fine.
470
00:21:37,130 --> 00:21:39,420
But I don't want any of my boys
knowing they're real coppers.
471
00:21:39,630 --> 00:21:40,920
And I'm not paying you.
472
00:21:41,130 --> 00:21:42,510
Uh, what if we win
the audience prize?
473
00:21:42,710 --> 00:21:43,340
Henry.
474
00:21:43,550 --> 00:21:44,930
Mr. Allen,
you won't regret this.
475
00:21:45,130 --> 00:21:45,970
I already do.
476
00:21:46,180 --> 00:21:49,260
Now go find a place to rehearse.
You're on tonight.
477
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:54,600
[Grunts]
478
00:21:57,230 --> 00:21:58,730
CRABTREE:
Let's do it again, Henry.
479
00:21:58,940 --> 00:22:01,360
Be a little more Murdoch-like
if you could this time.
480
00:22:01,570 --> 00:22:02,440
HIGGINS:
Yes, sir.
481
00:22:02,650 --> 00:22:03,690
CRABTREE:
[ British accent] I told you --
482
00:22:03,900 --> 00:22:05,150
I'm out of bloody scotch!
483
00:22:05,360 --> 00:22:07,450
HIGGINS: I would like to
interview the witnesses, sir.
484
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:10,530
Are you sure that is
top priority, Murdoch?
485
00:22:10,740 --> 00:22:11,830
Perhaps you are right.
486
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,160
I shall start by checking
the bank for fingermarks.
487
00:22:14,370 --> 00:22:15,790
No, not fingermarks.
488
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,870
I'm out of bloody scotch!
489
00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:21,250
You would like for me to buy you
some more scotch first?
490
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:24,670
George, it's your line.
491
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:26,130
Higgins.
492
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:36,980
I think we've just found the key
to our case, me old mucker.
493
00:22:37,190 --> 00:22:38,600
Indeed, sir.
494
00:22:42,610 --> 00:22:43,900
Eleanor Hoffat.
495
00:22:44,110 --> 00:22:46,570
Wife of Lewis Hoffat,
the theater's assistant manager.
496
00:22:46,780 --> 00:22:50,280
Sir, she matches the description
of Mr. Grady's mistress exactly.
497
00:22:52,530 --> 00:22:54,160
DR. GRACE:
A robbery.
498
00:22:54,370 --> 00:22:55,450
That's a rather violent one, no?
499
00:22:55,660 --> 00:22:57,660
DR. GRACE:
Were there any witnesses?
500
00:23:01,250 --> 00:23:04,050
Why were you at the scene
of Mr. Grady's murder?
501
00:23:04,250 --> 00:23:05,920
I wasn't.
502
00:23:06,130 --> 00:23:08,010
I saw you there.
503
00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:10,260
He was already dead
by the time I arrived.
504
00:23:10,470 --> 00:23:12,220
Where were you at 11:00 p.m.,
then?
505
00:23:13,010 --> 00:23:13,850
In a hansom.
506
00:23:14,060 --> 00:23:17,640
On your way to the hotel
to meet Mr. Grady.
507
00:23:18,810 --> 00:23:21,350
You were carrying on relations
with him.
508
00:23:24,570 --> 00:23:26,610
I can bring in the hotel manager
to confirm
509
00:23:26,820 --> 00:23:29,280
that you were indeed
Mr. Grady's mistress.
510
00:23:29,490 --> 00:23:30,950
Yes, I was.
511
00:23:31,530 --> 00:23:34,200
How long had the affair
been going on?
512
00:23:34,410 --> 00:23:35,910
Two months.
513
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:39,500
Right, then.
514
00:23:39,710 --> 00:23:42,830
You're familiar with the room
that Mr. Grady kept?
515
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:45,460
Yes.
516
00:23:45,670 --> 00:23:47,460
What was in his desk?
517
00:23:47,670 --> 00:23:49,300
Notebooks.
518
00:23:49,420 --> 00:23:50,220
Notebooks.
519
00:23:50,430 --> 00:23:52,300
For his monologues.
520
00:23:52,510 --> 00:23:53,720
Yes.
521
00:23:53,930 --> 00:23:56,140
Do you know of anyone
who may have wanted to obtain
522
00:23:56,350 --> 00:23:57,390
those notebooks?
523
00:23:57,970 --> 00:23:58,930
No.
524
00:23:59,140 --> 00:24:00,190
Detective, I assure you,
525
00:24:00,390 --> 00:24:03,270
I know nothing
about poor Bert's murder.
526
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:06,110
In fact, I'd barely seen him
this past week.
527
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:07,690
Why is that?
528
00:24:08,940 --> 00:24:11,910
Because I didn't want to
carry on with him anymore.
529
00:24:12,990 --> 00:24:16,280
I was going there to end
our relationship.
530
00:24:16,990 --> 00:24:18,660
Why that night?
531
00:24:19,660 --> 00:24:22,460
I couldn't keep the secret
any longer.
532
00:24:23,420 --> 00:24:25,210
Lewis was devastated.
533
00:24:28,590 --> 00:24:32,470
Hurting my husband that way is
the worst thing I've ever done,
534
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:34,890
and I'll never forgive myself.
535
00:24:35,970 --> 00:24:37,810
When did your husband learn
of the affair?
536
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:41,270
A week ago.
537
00:24:51,150 --> 00:24:52,450
Thank you for bringing me lunch,
Edna.
538
00:24:52,650 --> 00:24:54,530
Well, thank you for fixing
my sink.
539
00:24:55,120 --> 00:24:56,830
Oh.
ls it leaking again?
540
00:24:57,030 --> 00:24:57,950
No.
541
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:01,040
You half sound
as though you expected it to.
542
00:25:01,250 --> 00:25:04,080
Well, I may have exaggerated
my plumbing prowess.
543
00:25:07,540 --> 00:25:09,630
That's a lovely sandwich, Edna.
544
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:11,090
It's nothing remarkable.
545
00:25:11,300 --> 00:25:13,260
It's just ham and cheese.
546
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:15,430
And butter.
547
00:25:17,890 --> 00:25:19,930
I have something for you.
548
00:25:22,140 --> 00:25:23,520
[Laughs]
549
00:25:23,730 --> 00:25:24,980
A vaudeville ticket?
550
00:25:25,190 --> 00:25:28,230
I have to work, but I hear
there's a new comedic sensation
551
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:29,820
making his debut this evening.
552
00:25:30,030 --> 00:25:31,230
Well, how can I resist?
553
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:32,440
Thank you, George.
554
00:25:33,030 --> 00:25:34,700
Well, thank you
for the sandwich.
555
00:25:34,900 --> 00:25:36,700
I won't use butter next time.
556
00:25:36,910 --> 00:25:38,530
You're even fussier
than Simon is.
557
00:25:38,740 --> 00:25:41,120
Well, butter has its place
in many things, Edna.
558
00:25:41,330 --> 00:25:43,200
But a friend of the sandwich
it is not.
559
00:25:43,410 --> 00:25:45,330
[ Chuckles ]
560
00:25:45,540 --> 00:25:48,840
Mr. Grady was a man of
considerable talent and charm.
561
00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:52,130
And Eleanor is quite,
um, impressionable.
562
00:25:52,340 --> 00:25:53,590
Where were you that night?
563
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:54,590
At work.
564
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:55,800
After the show.
565
00:25:56,010 --> 00:25:56,720
11:00 p.m.
566
00:25:56,930 --> 00:25:59,470
I'd work after the show.
First in, last out.
567
00:26:00,180 --> 00:26:02,140
Can anyone corroborate this,
Mr. Hoffat?
568
00:26:02,350 --> 00:26:03,810
Well, your constables.
569
00:26:04,020 --> 00:26:05,480
My constables?
570
00:26:05,690 --> 00:26:07,020
Certainly they told you.
571
00:26:07,230 --> 00:26:08,270
I was giving Mr. Crabtree
572
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:10,770
and Mr. Higgins a tour
of the theater until midnight.
573
00:26:11,730 --> 00:26:13,780
BRACKENREID: Hoffat's alibi
was Crabtree and Higgins?
574
00:26:13,990 --> 00:26:15,150
Now, there's a first.
575
00:26:15,360 --> 00:26:17,110
Something George neglected
to mention.
576
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:18,110
I'm sorry, sirs.
577
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:19,780
I'm am perhaps
slightly distracted
578
00:26:19,990 --> 00:26:21,660
with tonight's performance.
579
00:26:21,870 --> 00:26:24,450
At any rate, the killer
was after the contents
580
00:26:24,660 --> 00:26:27,040
of Mr. Grady's desk --
his monologues.
581
00:26:27,250 --> 00:26:30,090
Which would imply someone
with ties to the theater.
582
00:26:30,290 --> 00:26:32,550
Sounds like we'd better get back
to the Bradley tonight.
583
00:26:32,750 --> 00:26:35,260
Oh, and we fully expect you
to report all of your findings
584
00:26:35,470 --> 00:26:37,760
after this evening's
performance, George.
585
00:26:37,970 --> 00:26:40,640
If you're not too distracted,
buggerlugs.
586
00:26:41,220 --> 00:26:43,060
Sirs.
587
00:26:43,260 --> 00:26:46,270
[ Indistinct conversations]
588
00:26:49,150 --> 00:26:51,020
[Grunts]
589
00:26:51,230 --> 00:26:53,820
[Audience murmuring]
590
00:26:54,030 --> 00:26:56,610
[Cheers and applause]
591
00:27:03,740 --> 00:27:05,160
Oh, God.
Edna's here.
592
00:27:05,370 --> 00:27:08,080
Well, you did give her a ticket,
George.
593
00:27:08,290 --> 00:27:10,170
You're sure you know
all your lines, Henry?
594
00:27:10,380 --> 00:27:11,710
Don't worry.
I'll be great.
595
00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:13,460
I might even crack the case
while I'm at it.
596
00:27:13,670 --> 00:27:15,210
Tough crowd tonight, boys.
597
00:27:15,420 --> 00:27:17,010
Let's give a large round
of applause
598
00:27:17,220 --> 00:27:20,680
to the little but mighty
Toronto's strongest man!
599
00:27:20,890 --> 00:27:22,220
[Cheers and applause]
600
00:27:22,430 --> 00:27:23,050
Ah.
601
00:27:23,260 --> 00:27:25,060
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
602
00:27:25,270 --> 00:27:28,770
making their Bradley Theatre
debut, here they are --
603
00:27:28,980 --> 00:27:31,310
the Madcap Coppers!
604
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:32,520
Take it away, boys!
605
00:27:32,730 --> 00:27:34,820
[Applause]
606
00:27:40,660 --> 00:27:41,450
[ Chuckles ]
607
00:27:41,660 --> 00:27:44,490
Sir, I believe George
is meant to be you.
608
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,450
Then Higgins is surely meant
to be you, Murdoch.
609
00:27:47,660 --> 00:27:49,210
[Audience murmuring]
610
00:27:49,410 --> 00:27:52,000
Inspector, there's a been
a robbery at the Toronto Bank.
611
00:27:54,090 --> 00:27:56,460
[Audience murmuring, booing]
612
00:27:59,340 --> 00:28:02,590
I say -- Inspector, there's been
a robbery at the Toronto Bank.
613
00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:04,760
- L-l...
-[ Booing continues]
614
00:28:04,970 --> 00:28:06,560
George, it's your line.
615
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:08,310
L...W-What?
616
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:10,520
Just say "bloody hell."
617
00:28:10,730 --> 00:28:13,310
[ Booing continues]
618
00:28:15,060 --> 00:28:16,110
Just say "bloody hell."
619
00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:18,320
He's got to get started
sometime, folks,
620
00:28:18,530 --> 00:28:20,450
and some people
shouldn't get started at all.
621
00:28:20,650 --> 00:28:21,950
Get off the stage.
622
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:23,530
[Laughs]
623
00:28:23,740 --> 00:28:27,240
Well! Since there's nowhere else
to go but up, let's hear it...
624
00:28:27,450 --> 00:28:29,500
What happened, George?
625
00:28:29,700 --> 00:28:31,330
I don't -- Henry, I think
you stepped on my line.
626
00:28:31,540 --> 00:28:33,710
- It threw me.
- I did no such thing.
627
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:35,960
I don't know what happened,
Henry. I'm sorry.
628
00:28:36,170 --> 00:28:38,000
You caught a glimpse of
your sweetheart in the audience,
629
00:28:38,210 --> 00:28:39,010
and you froze up.
630
00:28:39,210 --> 00:28:41,470
If she even is my sweetheart
after this.
631
00:28:41,670 --> 00:28:42,470
[ Laughter]
632
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:46,100
And if you have a deep grudge
against yourself, marry a widow.
633
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:48,350
You married a widow.
634
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:50,810
FIELDS:
I did. Ugh.
635
00:28:51,020 --> 00:28:53,190
I told her I'd be her captain
in life.
636
00:28:53,390 --> 00:28:55,060
She said it was too late
to be her captain.
637
00:28:55,270 --> 00:28:58,270
So now I'm stuck
as her second mate.
638
00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:02,030
She's as fully large east and
west as she is north and south.
639
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:04,740
She was meant for twins
but was never divided.
640
00:29:04,950 --> 00:29:05,950
I didn't kiss the bride
641
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:08,330
for fear the guests would lose
their appetite.
642
00:29:12,750 --> 00:29:15,460
Sirs, Mr. Fields' monologue bore
a striking resemblance
643
00:29:15,670 --> 00:29:16,880
to Mr. Grady's routine.
644
00:29:17,090 --> 00:29:18,540
Fields was a juggler
as of yesterday.
645
00:29:18,750 --> 00:29:20,260
And tonight he delivers
a monologue
646
00:29:20,460 --> 00:29:21,550
that brings down the house.
647
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:23,630
There's no way he could've
written that overnight.
648
00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:25,550
It was a great bit of comedy.
649
00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:28,010
It's as if somebody wrote it
for him, sir.
650
00:29:28,220 --> 00:29:30,220
Perhaps he was the one
who stole it from Grady's desk.
651
00:29:30,430 --> 00:29:31,720
He stole the bit.
652
00:29:31,930 --> 00:29:33,270
Mm.
653
00:29:34,310 --> 00:29:36,480
The night that Hoffat
showed you around the theater,
654
00:29:36,690 --> 00:29:39,150
do you recall if Mr. Fields
was still here?
655
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:40,320
He had already left, sir.
656
00:29:40,530 --> 00:29:41,610
CRABTREE: I'm sure
he was feeling distraught
657
00:29:41,820 --> 00:29:43,530
because his performance flopped.
658
00:29:43,740 --> 00:29:45,320
Afeeling I know
from experience.
659
00:29:45,530 --> 00:29:46,700
MURDOCH
Right.
660
00:29:46,910 --> 00:29:48,910
Have a look
in Mr. Fields' dressing room.
661
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:50,330
See if there may be
anything there
662
00:29:50,540 --> 00:29:53,200
that could have been stolen
from Mr. Grady's hotel room.
663
00:29:53,410 --> 00:29:54,370
Sirs.
664
00:29:54,580 --> 00:29:56,170
I'll be with you in a moment,
Higgins.
665
00:29:56,370 --> 00:29:58,000
I have a small matter
to attend to.
666
00:29:58,210 --> 00:29:58,920
Oh.
667
00:29:59,130 --> 00:30:00,590
[ Inhales sharply]
668
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:02,260
That's better.
669
00:30:03,260 --> 00:30:05,510
I trust that it would have been
a flattering portrayal of us.
670
00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:07,050
Of course.
671
00:30:11,930 --> 00:30:13,310
Edna!
672
00:30:14,850 --> 00:30:16,520
Well, well.
George.
673
00:30:16,730 --> 00:30:18,270
I didn't know
you were a comedian.
674
00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:19,980
Not much of one, clearly.
675
00:30:20,190 --> 00:30:21,980
I enjoyed the show.
Thank you for the tickets.
676
00:30:22,190 --> 00:30:24,030
Henry and I were thinking about
the case, you see,
677
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:26,070
and that's --
that's a distraction.
678
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:28,320
I think that came at the cost
of our performance.
679
00:30:28,530 --> 00:30:29,870
Yes.
Of course.
680
00:30:30,070 --> 00:30:31,160
Come again tomorrow night.
681
00:30:31,370 --> 00:30:33,540
It will be...less awful.
682
00:30:33,750 --> 00:30:34,750
I promise.
683
00:30:34,950 --> 00:30:37,540
I don't think I can, George.
I'm otherwise engaged.
684
00:30:37,750 --> 00:30:41,170
And I found the whole thing a
bit mean-spirited for my liking.
685
00:30:41,750 --> 00:30:42,880
Good night, George.
686
00:30:43,090 --> 00:30:44,460
Good night.
687
00:30:45,130 --> 00:30:46,550
George!
688
00:30:47,930 --> 00:30:49,930
Look what I found
in Fields' dressing room.
689
00:30:50,510 --> 00:30:52,640
It's Bert Grady's monologues.
690
00:30:56,230 --> 00:30:57,480
Right.
691
00:31:00,060 --> 00:31:03,360
[Man murmuring]
692
00:31:10,070 --> 00:31:11,950
MURDOCH: Mr. Fields.
Might I have a word?
693
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:16,950
[ Drawling ] Would you excuse
us, my little chickadee?
694
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:18,710
[ Chuckles ]
695
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:20,080
[ Normal voice]
What are you breaking up
696
00:31:20,290 --> 00:31:22,380
-the party for, Detective?
- What were you planning to do
697
00:31:22,590 --> 00:31:25,460
once you ran out of Bert Grady's
material to perform?
698
00:31:25,670 --> 00:31:27,340
What are you talking about?
699
00:31:27,550 --> 00:31:29,130
This was Mr. Grady's notebook.
700
00:31:29,340 --> 00:31:30,640
Some of the pages are missing.
701
00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:34,350
Presumably they contain some
yet-to-be-performed monologues.
702
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:35,470
So what?
703
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:37,140
It was found
in your dressing room.
704
00:31:37,350 --> 00:31:38,520
What was it doing there?
705
00:31:38,730 --> 00:31:40,060
That was going to
be my next question.
706
00:31:40,270 --> 00:31:41,520
I've never seen it before.
707
00:31:41,730 --> 00:31:43,270
Mr. Fields,
I saw your performance tonight.
708
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:45,780
It was remarkably like that
of Mr. Grady's.
709
00:31:45,980 --> 00:31:46,780
What are you saying?
710
00:31:46,980 --> 00:31:48,490
I'm saying
that you killed the man
711
00:31:48,690 --> 00:31:50,490
and you stole his material.
712
00:31:50,700 --> 00:31:52,280
I certainly did not.
713
00:31:52,490 --> 00:31:54,990
Where were you at 11:00 the
night Mr. Grady was murdered?
714
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:58,250
I went straight to my hotel
to drink.
715
00:31:58,450 --> 00:31:59,750
I had a rotten show that night.
716
00:31:59,960 --> 00:32:03,170
Made worse by Mr. Grady
humiliating you onstage.
717
00:32:04,250 --> 00:32:06,550
If you want the truth,
here it is.
718
00:32:06,750 --> 00:32:09,130
I didn't write
tonight's material.
719
00:32:09,340 --> 00:32:10,430
I bought it.
720
00:32:11,010 --> 00:32:12,220
You bought it?
721
00:32:12,430 --> 00:32:14,050
- From whom?
- I don't know.
722
00:32:14,260 --> 00:32:15,930
I received an anonymous letter
under my door
723
00:32:16,140 --> 00:32:17,640
offering to sell me jokes.
724
00:32:17,850 --> 00:32:18,980
I was desperate.
725
00:32:19,180 --> 00:32:21,390
Juggling wasn't working out.
726
00:32:43,710 --> 00:32:44,920
You all right, me old mucker?
727
00:32:45,130 --> 00:32:48,000
I'm -- I-l wouldn't --
I'm -- I'm fine.
728
00:32:49,010 --> 00:32:50,340
So is Fields our man, Murdoch?
729
00:32:50,550 --> 00:32:51,420
I don't believe so, sir.
730
00:32:51,630 --> 00:32:52,550
The hotel confirmed
731
00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:54,760
that he arrived
shortly after the performance
732
00:32:54,970 --> 00:32:56,850
and promptly ordered
a bottle of whiskey
733
00:32:57,050 --> 00:32:59,430
and then a second one
an hour later.
734
00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:01,230
Dedicated chap.
735
00:33:01,430 --> 00:33:03,350
What about Grady's notebook
being in his dressing room?
736
00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:05,690
He claims he's never seen it
there before.
737
00:33:06,270 --> 00:33:07,570
So planted by the killer,
perhaps.
738
00:33:07,770 --> 00:33:09,900
It's entirely possible, sir.
739
00:33:10,110 --> 00:33:12,070
- CRABTREE: Sirs?
- What have you, George?
740
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:14,110
The monologue
that Bert Grady performed
741
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:16,370
the night he was killed
is not in his notebook.
742
00:33:16,570 --> 00:33:19,240
I don't know if the torn pages
could account for that.
743
00:33:19,450 --> 00:33:21,160
What could be so valuable
about bloody jokes
744
00:33:21,370 --> 00:33:23,160
that you would kill for them?
745
00:33:23,370 --> 00:33:25,960
George, how much
do you and Henry recall
746
00:33:26,170 --> 00:33:27,840
of Bert Grady's performance?
747
00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:29,050
[ Laughter]
748
00:33:29,250 --> 00:33:31,800
She told me she was gonna dance
on my grave.
749
00:33:32,010 --> 00:33:34,590
I said, "I hope you do.
I plan to be buried at sea."
750
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:36,390
Why are we standing around
listening to jokes?
751
00:33:36,590 --> 00:33:38,140
This is a bloody
murder investigation.
752
00:33:38,350 --> 00:33:39,220
Bear with me a moment, sir.
753
00:33:39,430 --> 00:33:40,770
What do you do if you miss
your mother-in-law?
754
00:33:40,970 --> 00:33:42,350
You reload and try again.
755
00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:43,770
[ Laughter]
756
00:33:43,980 --> 00:33:46,310
Now, now, now, I do have a
soft spot for my mother-in-law.
757
00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:48,110
It's right behind this theater,
in fact.
758
00:33:48,310 --> 00:33:49,360
[ Laughter]
759
00:33:49,570 --> 00:33:51,320
CRABTREE: I told my wife
her mother was down under.
760
00:33:51,530 --> 00:33:53,740
She thought I meant Australia.
At least she's six feet under.
761
00:33:53,950 --> 00:33:54,780
[ Laughter]
762
00:33:54,990 --> 00:33:56,700
HIGGINS: A man in a tavern said
to me that his mother-in-law --
763
00:33:56,910 --> 00:33:58,160
Stop.
764
00:33:58,370 --> 00:34:01,450
George, Henry, get the shovels.
765
00:34:01,660 --> 00:34:03,750
Yes, sir.
766
00:34:11,420 --> 00:34:12,880
What do you think, George?
767
00:34:13,460 --> 00:34:16,220
I think we've just found
somebody's mother-in-law.
768
00:34:22,970 --> 00:34:24,930
[ Footsteps approaching ]
769
00:34:25,140 --> 00:34:28,270
The deceased is indeed a female
of around 7O years.
770
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:29,980
Based on the rate
of decomposition,
771
00:34:30,190 --> 00:34:32,440
I would say she died
approximately six months ago.
772
00:34:32,650 --> 00:34:33,480
And the cause of death?
773
00:34:33,690 --> 00:34:36,820
Three bullets to the chest --
.22 caliber.
774
00:34:37,410 --> 00:34:39,200
Suggesting that
this woman's killer
775
00:34:39,410 --> 00:34:42,200
and Mr. Grady's
could be one and the same.
776
00:34:42,410 --> 00:34:43,450
CRABTREE:
Sir.
777
00:34:43,660 --> 00:34:45,290
Dr. Grace.
778
00:34:45,500 --> 00:34:47,120
Constable Crabtree.
779
00:34:47,330 --> 00:34:49,420
Sir, I think I know
who our victim is.
780
00:34:49,630 --> 00:34:50,960
A Mrs. Edith Bradley.
781
00:34:51,170 --> 00:34:52,210
The theater's namesake?
782
00:34:52,420 --> 00:34:53,500
That's right.
And rightful owner.
783
00:34:53,710 --> 00:34:57,720
She's said to have moved
six months ago to Australia.
784
00:34:57,930 --> 00:35:00,850
"Down under," just as Mr. Grady
said in his comedy routine.
785
00:35:01,050 --> 00:35:03,350
DR. GRACE: Six months does
coincide with the time of death.
786
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:06,350
And whose mother-in-law was she
unfortunate enough to be?
787
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:08,480
In all my years
in this business,
788
00:35:08,690 --> 00:35:10,440
this is the biggest joke
I've ever heard.
789
00:35:10,650 --> 00:35:12,690
Why would I kill
my star performer?
790
00:35:12,900 --> 00:35:14,820
Grady was a license
to print money.
791
00:35:15,030 --> 00:35:17,360
Mr. Grady knew you killed
your mother-in-law.
792
00:35:17,570 --> 00:35:20,360
His monologue reflected
the details of the murder.
793
00:35:20,570 --> 00:35:22,620
I believe he was planning
to blackmail you.
794
00:35:22,830 --> 00:35:24,790
You're saying
I killed Bert Grady
795
00:35:24,990 --> 00:35:26,410
and my own mother-in-law?
796
00:35:26,620 --> 00:35:28,160
With Mrs. Bradley
out of the way,
797
00:35:28,370 --> 00:35:30,420
you'd be able run the theater
as you see fit,
798
00:35:30,630 --> 00:35:33,630
and all of the proceeds
would go to you.
799
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:36,010
Well, you're mistaken,
Detective.
800
00:35:36,210 --> 00:35:40,260
Mrs. Bradley moved to Australia
six months ago.
801
00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:42,930
You waited outside of the hotel.
802
00:35:43,140 --> 00:35:45,720
When Mr. Grady arrived,
you shot him.
803
00:35:45,930 --> 00:35:46,890
You took his notebook
804
00:35:47,100 --> 00:35:48,770
and removed
the incriminating monologue.
805
00:35:48,980 --> 00:35:51,730
You then planted that notebook
in Mr. Fields' room.
806
00:35:51,940 --> 00:35:53,190
That's funny, Detective.
807
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:55,730
Have you ever thought about
going into comedy?
808
00:35:56,320 --> 00:36:00,070
Well, if you liked that,
you're going to love this one.
809
00:36:04,870 --> 00:36:07,580
Constable Crabtree found this
in your office.
810
00:36:08,330 --> 00:36:11,120
The ballistics evidence
is a match for both murders.
811
00:36:11,330 --> 00:36:13,630
You know,
what I still don't understand
812
00:36:13,830 --> 00:36:18,880
is how the hell did Grady know
I killed her?
813
00:36:23,010 --> 00:36:24,550
Two murders solved in one day.
814
00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:26,100
Good work, Murdoch.
815
00:36:26,310 --> 00:36:27,260
Thank you, sir.
816
00:36:27,470 --> 00:36:30,480
But Keith Allen did pose
an interesting question.
817
00:36:30,690 --> 00:36:31,730
Question about what?
818
00:36:31,940 --> 00:36:33,310
How did Mr. Grady know
819
00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:35,400
that Mr. Allen murdered
his mother-in-law?
820
00:36:35,610 --> 00:36:36,480
What's it matter?
821
00:36:36,690 --> 00:36:37,900
You got the confession,
didn't you?
822
00:36:38,110 --> 00:36:39,530
And regardless of all of that,
823
00:36:39,740 --> 00:36:42,820
why blackmail someone
through a comedy routine?
824
00:36:43,410 --> 00:36:46,240
And why was Mr. Grady surprised
to see Mr. Allen
825
00:36:46,450 --> 00:36:47,950
outside of his hotel that night?
826
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:50,290
There are more questions
than answers.
827
00:36:50,500 --> 00:36:51,750
Let it go, Murdoch.
828
00:36:52,580 --> 00:36:53,500
Hm.
829
00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:56,250
I suppose you're right.
830
00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:59,090
Are you coming to Crabtree
and Higgins' final show tonight?
831
00:36:59,300 --> 00:37:01,090
Oh, yes.
Julia insists.
832
00:37:01,300 --> 00:37:04,510
Well, here's hoping for a repeat
performance from our lads.
833
00:37:04,720 --> 00:37:07,180
I intend to get in on the action
this time.
834
00:37:10,100 --> 00:37:11,850
[Audience murmuring]
835
00:37:14,310 --> 00:37:16,440
[Cheers and applause]
836
00:37:17,570 --> 00:37:20,110
W.C. Fields,
ladies and gentlemen.
837
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:22,900
Now, our, uh, next performer
will be making her debut
838
00:37:23,110 --> 00:37:24,570
here at the Bradley Theatre.
839
00:37:24,780 --> 00:37:27,070
Please welcome Desperate Dora,
840
00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:31,410
here to regale you with stories
of her busted romances.
841
00:37:31,620 --> 00:37:33,040
[Applause]
842
00:37:36,130 --> 00:37:37,960
Sir, that's Eleanor Hoffat.
843
00:37:38,170 --> 00:37:40,250
I didn't know
she was a comedian.
844
00:37:40,460 --> 00:37:43,010
Pays to be married
to the new manager.
845
00:37:43,220 --> 00:37:46,180
MAN: Go on, Dora!
What are you waiting for?!
846
00:37:48,300 --> 00:37:51,100
-[ Clears throat ]
- WOMAN: Come on, love.
847
00:37:51,310 --> 00:37:52,680
Come on, dear.
848
00:37:53,980 --> 00:37:56,600
They tell me some foreign
countries find it difficult
849
00:37:56,810 --> 00:37:59,360
to recruit men for their armies.
850
00:37:59,570 --> 00:38:01,480
But they've got nothing on me.
851
00:38:01,690 --> 00:38:04,110
I've been trying for years
to recruit just one man
852
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:05,200
and can't do it.
853
00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:06,860
[ Laughter]
854
00:38:10,490 --> 00:38:12,700
Another monologist from nowhere.
855
00:38:12,910 --> 00:38:14,790
Just like W.C. Fields.
856
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:17,040
Perhaps she bought her routine
as well.
857
00:38:17,250 --> 00:38:19,080
I'm going to have a word
with her.
858
00:38:19,290 --> 00:38:20,130
[ Laughter]
859
00:38:20,340 --> 00:38:22,920
-I'm strong for conscription.
- Excuse me.
860
00:38:23,130 --> 00:38:25,840
But then what can I expect?
Look at me.
861
00:38:26,050 --> 00:38:26,880
I'm so thin,
862
00:38:27,090 --> 00:38:30,300
I have to drink muddy water
so you can't see through me.
863
00:38:30,510 --> 00:38:32,060
I'm hardly a catch.
864
00:38:32,260 --> 00:38:34,680
[ Laughter]
865
00:38:34,890 --> 00:38:37,600
Last summer,
I thought I had one landed --
866
00:38:37,810 --> 00:38:40,480
a traveling salesman.
867
00:38:40,690 --> 00:38:42,860
He suggested we go bathing.
868
00:38:43,070 --> 00:38:46,700
But the moment he got a flash,
he kept on traveling.
869
00:38:46,900 --> 00:38:49,490
A clinging wet bathing suit
is all right --
870
00:38:49,700 --> 00:38:52,330
if it has something to cling to.
871
00:38:52,540 --> 00:38:54,500
Mr. Hoffat, I need to speak
to your wife immediately.
872
00:38:54,700 --> 00:38:56,080
But she's in the middle
of a routine.
873
00:38:56,290 --> 00:38:57,920
Yes.
And who wrote this monologue?
874
00:38:58,120 --> 00:38:59,460
Well, she did, of course.
875
00:38:59,670 --> 00:39:01,840
Well, then I have to arrest her
for writing the monologue
876
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:04,000
that incited Mr. Allen
to kill Mr. Grady.
877
00:39:04,210 --> 00:39:05,210
Wait.
878
00:39:06,340 --> 00:39:07,800
It wasn't her.
879
00:39:08,010 --> 00:39:09,050
I wrote it,
880
00:39:09,260 --> 00:39:10,720
just as I had written
for Mr. Grady
881
00:39:10,930 --> 00:39:11,760
in exchange for money.
882
00:39:11,970 --> 00:39:15,270
As well as the one
Mr. Fields performed recently.
883
00:39:16,350 --> 00:39:17,770
Eleanor acted as my courier,
884
00:39:17,980 --> 00:39:20,520
delivering the monologues
to Mr. Grady in his hotel.
885
00:39:21,110 --> 00:39:23,110
That's how the affair began.
886
00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:26,990
It wasn't enough
that I was making him a star.
887
00:39:27,190 --> 00:39:29,280
He wanted my wife, too.
888
00:39:29,490 --> 00:39:31,990
I should never have put her
in that position.
889
00:39:32,870 --> 00:39:36,540
You provoked Mr. Allen
to do your murdering for you.
890
00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:38,620
How did you know his secret?
891
00:39:38,830 --> 00:39:40,580
I arrived early to the theater
one morning
892
00:39:40,790 --> 00:39:42,290
and saw him digging a pit.
893
00:39:42,500 --> 00:39:45,800
When Mrs. Bradley left
for Australia,
894
00:39:46,010 --> 00:39:47,720
I knew he had killed her.
895
00:39:48,590 --> 00:39:51,090
Mr. Hoffat, you realize
I must arrest you now.
896
00:39:51,300 --> 00:39:52,220
On what charges?
897
00:39:52,430 --> 00:39:55,930
Inciting a crime
is also a crime.
898
00:39:56,140 --> 00:39:57,980
The courts will have to decide
on your punishment.
899
00:39:58,180 --> 00:40:00,770
May I finish watching
Eleanor's performance?
900
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:03,110
This has long been an dream
of ours.
901
00:40:03,310 --> 00:40:04,570
ELEANOR:
Perhaps it's just as well
902
00:40:04,770 --> 00:40:06,360
that I cannot find a husband.
903
00:40:06,570 --> 00:40:10,530
After all, a man will spend
$3 a week on roses
904
00:40:10,740 --> 00:40:12,200
when he's courting a girl.
905
00:40:12,410 --> 00:40:13,530
But once married,
906
00:40:13,740 --> 00:40:17,290
he won't even take home
a nickel's worth of dandelions.
907
00:40:17,490 --> 00:40:19,660
-[ Laughter]
- Thank you.
908
00:40:19,870 --> 00:40:21,460
[Applause]
909
00:40:21,670 --> 00:40:24,880
Keith Allen didn't think
that women could be funny.
910
00:40:25,090 --> 00:40:26,500
[Laughs]
911
00:40:26,710 --> 00:40:29,590
[Applause continues]
912
00:40:31,050 --> 00:40:33,180
Thank you so much.
913
00:40:36,010 --> 00:40:37,220
You would like for me to buy you
914
00:40:37,430 --> 00:40:38,850
some more scotch first,
Inspector?
915
00:40:39,060 --> 00:40:40,680
[ British accent]
No, no, no, Murdoch!
916
00:40:40,890 --> 00:40:42,350
I'll pay for it.
917
00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:45,940
On the other hand,
you'll have to cover me!
918
00:40:46,150 --> 00:40:49,030
I'm afraid you still owe me
from the last bottle, sir.
919
00:40:49,230 --> 00:40:52,780
I think someone's been helping
themselves to my bloody scotch.
920
00:40:52,990 --> 00:40:54,200
I doubt that, sir.
921
00:40:54,410 --> 00:40:56,660
Well, then we'd best check
for fingermarks, Murdoch.
922
00:40:56,870 --> 00:40:58,910
Very well, Inspector.
I'll be at the bank.
923
00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:01,540
Not the bank, Murdoch!
The bottles!
924
00:41:01,750 --> 00:41:04,040
Check the bottles
for fingermarks!
925
00:41:04,250 --> 00:41:06,750
Oh, bloody hell!
926
00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:09,460
[ Laughter, applause]
927
00:41:17,180 --> 00:41:19,680
[ Laughter, applause continue]
928
00:41:19,890 --> 00:41:24,100
Inspector!
I thought they were quite good.
929
00:41:24,310 --> 00:41:26,650
Well, I didn't want to see it
go to waste.
930
00:41:26,860 --> 00:41:28,650
- We did it, George!
- Well done, Henry.
931
00:41:28,860 --> 00:41:30,990
- We're going out on a high note.
-[ Whistles]
932
00:41:31,190 --> 00:41:33,200
A woman's waiting for you
out back.
933
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:34,320
Waiting for me?
934
00:41:34,530 --> 00:41:35,990
Yeah, you.
935
00:41:39,450 --> 00:41:42,080
[ Drawling ] A woman drove me
to drink, you know.
936
00:41:42,290 --> 00:41:43,660
I should write to thank her.
937
00:41:43,870 --> 00:41:45,460
[ Chuckles ]
938
00:41:45,670 --> 00:41:48,130
Mr. Fields, you should be doing
your own jokes.
939
00:41:48,340 --> 00:41:50,590
Never mind
this juggling business.
940
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:52,460
I'm not sure about the voice,
though,huh?
941
00:41:59,510 --> 00:42:00,720
I didn't know you were here.
942
00:42:00,930 --> 00:42:02,350
May I have your autograph?
943
00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:04,230
Well, who's the comedian?
944
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:06,310
They let me watch
from backstage.
945
00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:09,230
- How'd you manage that?
- I said I was your sweetheart.
946
00:42:11,900 --> 00:42:13,650
I am, aren't I?
947
00:42:14,240 --> 00:42:15,610
I'd hope so.
948
00:42:15,820 --> 00:42:17,740
Then you'll take me out?
949
00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:21,660
For the finest dinner
a constable's salary can afford.
950
00:42:21,870 --> 00:42:23,660
Well, Simon is at his aunt's
for the night.
951
00:42:23,870 --> 00:42:28,710
So perhaps you would come over
for tea afterwards?
952
00:42:29,210 --> 00:42:30,210
I'd like that.
953
00:42:30,420 --> 00:42:31,710
I'd like that very much.
954
00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:33,130
Good.
955
00:42:34,470 --> 00:42:36,010
The pipes need fixing again.
956
00:42:36,220 --> 00:42:37,340
- Oh.
-[Laughs]
957
00:42:37,550 --> 00:42:39,970
Jake's on you, George Crabtree.
958
00:42:50,110 --> 00:42:51,070
Oh, Julia?
959
00:42:51,270 --> 00:42:53,650
Come and join me.
The tea is here.
960
00:42:53,860 --> 00:42:55,440
Brilliant.
961
00:42:57,360 --> 00:42:59,450
William.
How thoughtful.
962
00:42:59,660 --> 00:43:02,370
I promise
never to stop courting you.
963
00:43:02,580 --> 00:43:04,540
Oh.
964
00:43:04,750 --> 00:43:06,330
Please.
965
00:43:07,290 --> 00:43:08,920
[Whoopee cushion blurts,
squeaks]
966
00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:11,670
[ Snorts]
967
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:14,510
[Laughs]
968
00:43:14,710 --> 00:43:17,630
It worked so well!
[Laughs]
969
00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:19,840
[Laughing]