AMY: PREVIOUSLY ON "HEARTLAND":
TIM: I JUST CAN'T HELP BUT WONDER
WHAT I DID TO DESERVE SUCH AN EXTRAVAGANT GIFT.
AMY, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?
I TOLD YOU, MY DAD WANTS ME TO WORK WITH THIS HORSE,
AND SO FAR,
YOU'VE IGNORED EVERYTHING I'VE SAID.
WHEN SHANE LEFT THE LAST TIME
HE WAS CONVINCED THAT MY DAD AND HIS MOM
HAVE A THING FOR EACH OTHER,
AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN
SHANE AND MIRANDA JUST DISAPPEAR?
YOU STILL HAVEN'T TOLD YOUR GIRLS?
I HAVEN'T TOLD ANYONE, EXCEPT FOR YOU AND JACK.
LET ME OUTTA THE TRUCK, JACK!
JACK: JUST THINK OF IT AS A FRIENDLY INTERVENTION,
AND AN OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU TO SETTLE THIS SHANE THING
ONCE AND FOR ALL.
IF YOU LET TIM INTO YOUR LIFE,
SHANE WON'T JUST BE GAINING A FATHER,
HE'LL BE GAINING A WHOLE FAMILY.
I CAN'T COMPETE WITH YOU GUYS.
(BABY WAILS)
OH MY GOD, THAT WAS SO GROSS.
I HAD TO HOLD MY BREATH
THE ENTIRE TIME I WAS IN THERE.
MAX, MOVE.
CAN YOU GIVE ME THAT PACIFIER?
MM-HM. SORRY.
I'LL PUT HIM IN THE BACK.
YOU KNOW WHAT? FORGET IT. WE GOTTA GET GOING!
HONEY, WE HAVE TO HURRY
SO WE CAN GET HOME BEFORE THEY DO.
WHAT, AM I DRIVING A GETAWAY CAR?
LOU: NO, I JUST WANNA MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION.
PETER: YOU MADE A GOOD IMPRESSION ALREADY, HONEY.
GOD. LOOK AT ME.
I AM SO GONNA HAVE TO CHANGE.
PETER: HONEY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO CHANGE.
YOU LOOK FINE.
LOU: MAYBE TO YOU, BUT TO YOUR MOM?
PETER: (EXASPERATED SIGH)
LOU, I TOLD YOU. THEY'RE NOT LIKE THAT, OKAY?
AND IF YOU DIDN'T WANT THEM TO COME IN THE FIRST PLACE...
YEAH. NOT INVITE YOUR PARENTS
TO THEIR GRANDDAUGHTER'S BABY NAMING CEREMONY?
CAN YOU HAND ME THAT CELL PHONE?
I HAVE TO GIVE EVERYONE OUR ETA.
OH... SHOOT!
MAX... SORRY.
OH, YEAH, DOG DROOL. LEAST OF MY WORRIES.
(THUNDERING HOOFBEATS)
TIM: YEAH!
AMY: WHAT A GOOD BOY!
HE SEEMED TO HANDLE THAT DISTANCE REALLY WELL.
YOU KNOW, HE'D RIDE ALL DAY IF I LET HIM.
SO WHAT DO YOU SAY,
SHOULD WE TRY HIM OUT OF THE GATE A FEW TIMES?
YEAH, IT'S ABOUT TIME.
JUST AS LONG AS YOU GIVE HIM A COUPLE OF DAYS OFF.
ALL RIGHT? HE NEEDS TO RECOVER.
RIGHT, RIGHT. 'CAUSE YOU KNOW THE SAYING?
SLOW AND STEADY...
COMES IN DEAD LAST.
HE'S A RACE HORSE, TIM.
WHO NEEDS A DAY OFF...
'CAUSE HE DESERVES IT.
WELL, I GOTTA RUN.
DO YOU MIND COOLING HIM OUT FOR ME?
YEAH. SURE, HONEY. THANKS.
AMY: I'LL SEE YOU LATER TONIGHT.
TIM: OKAY, HONEY.
LOU'S COMING HOME TODAY.
GREAT. (CLEARS THROAT)
GIVE HER A BIG HUG FOR ME.
THAT WAS LOU. THEY'LL BE HERE SOON.
DID YOU KNOW THAT THE YOU-KNOW-WHO'S ARE COMING?
LAST MINUTE THING.
HOW'D SHE SOUND?
SHE SOUNDS LIKE SHE COULD USE A WEEK AT THE SPA.
AND THIS BARTLETT NAMING CEREMONY
SEEMS TO BE GIVING HER JUST A LITTLE BIT OF STRESS.
NOT SURE WHY. COULDN'T BE MUCH SIMPLER.
MY GREAT GRANDFATHER BUILT THIS FIREPLACE
USING STONE HE FOUND RIGHT HERE ON HEARTLAND.
AND WHEN THERE'S A NEW ARRIVAL,
WELL, THE FIRE GETS LIT
AND WE GIVE HIM OR HER A NAME
AND A STONE TO GO WITH IT.
THAT SOUNDS LOVELY.
WHERE'S YOUR STONE?
JACK: THIS ONE RIGHT HERE.
LISA: UH-OH! LOOSE!
OH, NOTHING A LITTLE MORTAR WON'T FIX.
AND WHILE I'M AT IT...
YOU KNOW, I CAN'T QUITE REMEMBER THE LAST TIME
I HAD A GOOD LOOK UP INSIDE HERE.
OH...
BOY, THAT IS FILTHY.
BUT WE'RE GONNA CALL A PROFESSIONAL, RIGHT?
WHAT WAS I THINKING?
(SNORTED CHUCKLE)
LOU!
LOU! PETER! HEY!
LOU: AMY, SHHH!
SHE FUSSED ALL THE WAY ACROSS SASKATCHEWAN.
AND TRUST ME,
THAT DRIVE COULD PUT ANYONE INTO A COMA.
LOU! GOOD TO SEE YOU!
(LOU SHUSHES MALLORY, BABY CRIES)
SORRY.
NEVERMIND.
NOBODY EVER DIED FROM A LACK OF SLEEP.
I SHOULD KNOW.
CAN I HOLD HER? CAN I TAKE HER?
NO, MALLROY.
SHE'S CRANKY WHEN SHE WAKES UP.
SHE'S CRANKY?
LISTEN. THE BABY BARFED ON MY JEANS.
I'VE JUST SPENT A MONTH WITH A WOMAN
WHO MAKES ME FEEL LIKE THE WORLD'S WORST MOTHER,
AND I DON'T EVEN WANNA KNOW
WHAT THIS STAIN ON MY SHIRT IS.
PETER: HERE THEY COME!
HEY! QUIET YOU. (MAX BARKS)
(BABY CRIES, MAX BARKS)
LOU: ARCHIE! GRACE!
WELCOME TO HEARTLAND!
(BABY WAILS, MAX BARKS)
♪♪♪
♪ And at the break of day you sank into your dream ♪
♪ You dreamer ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh... ♪
♪ You dreamer ♪
OH, DID YOU GET MY MESSAGE ABOUT THE PIES?
I TEXTED YOU THIS MORNING.
WELL, YEAH, BUT I WAS AT THE TRACK.
LISA: LOU?!
WHERE IS SHE?
OH, WHERE'S MY LITTLE GODDAUGHTER!
NOW, SEE, THIS IS WHAT DRIVES ME CRAZY.
BECAUSE I PHONED IN THE ORDER
AND ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS PICK IT UP.
OKAY, OKAY, I'M GOING.
I'LL GET THE PIES. JUST DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
WHAT? I CAN GO AND GRAB SOMETHING.
LET ME GO AND GET SOMETHING.
OR I CAN MAKE A TRIFLE.
PETER'S PARENTS ARE PIE PEOPLE.
I NEED AT LEAST TWO PIE...
OKAY... PIES.
OKAY, DON'T PANIC.
IT'S NOT AS BAD AS IT LOOKS.
(HAMMER TAPS)
LISA: AND HE SWEARS IT'S GOING TO BE READY BY THE NAMING CEREMONY.
JACK: ALMOST DONE!
PETER: HOME IMPROVEMENTS OR WHAT?
JACK: WELL...
NOW I KNOW HOW SANTA CLAUS MUST FEEL.
I DON'T KNOW HOW HE DOES IT.
WELCOME HOME, KIDS.
AW, AND THERE'S MY GIRL.
OH, SHOOT, SORRY. YOU REMEMBER MY FOLKS?
AH, ARCHIE AND GRACE.
LISA, AND YOU REMEMBER JACK, OF COURSE.
WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU TWO SHOWED UP FOR A VISIT.
ON SUCH A WONDERFUL OCCASION,
WE WOULDN'T HAVE MISSED IT.
MM. SUCH A CHARMING HOME.
SO, GRAMPA, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
JACK: OH. A COUPLE LOOSE STONES.
SOME BAD MORTAR IN THE CHIMNEY,
AND A GOOD CLEANING.
SO FOR THE RECORD,
I DID TRY TO GET HIM TO HIRE SOMEONE.
LISA...
YOU KNOW, JACK, I'M PRETTY GOOD WITH A TROWEL.
DON'T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, ARCHIE.
YOU'RE A GUEST HERE.
LISTEN, YOU MUST BE EXHAUSTED.
WHY DON'T WE, UH...
I'LL TAKE THEM DOWN TO THE DUDE RANCH,
YEAH. YOU FOLLOW ME, WE'LL GET YOU SETTLED IN?
PETER: YEAH, WAIT 'TIL YOU SEE THE FIREPLACE IN THE CABIN, DAD.
REAL RUNDLE STONE DRY STACK.
WOW, GRAMPA! HUH!
PERFECT TIMING TO LAUNCH INTO A MAJOR PROJECT.
MINOR REPAIR IS MORE LIKE IT.
A LITTLE SPIT AND POLISH,
AND IT'LL BE DONE BEFORE YOU KNOW IT.
WELL, AT LEAST THIS'LL GIVE THE IN-LAWS
SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT.
NOT THAT THEY SAY MUCH - NOT TO YOUR FACE.
ALANINE, GLYCINE, TRYPTOPHAN,
AND...
SERINE GLUTAMATE. DAMMIT!
(TRUCK RUMBLES)
TY: HEY, SCOTT.
HOW'S THE STUDYING GOING?
COME ON, BIO-CHEMISTRY?
YEAH, IT'S A NO-BRAINER.
LOOK, I WAS JUST IN THE NEIGHBOURHOOD
AND I THOUGHT I'D COME BY
AND DROP OFF YOUR PAY CHEQUE.
OH. THANK YOU. ALWAYS WELCOME.
ESPECIALLY NOW WITH THE RENT TO COVER.
I HEAR YOU.
UM, YOU UP FOR A MOMENTARY DISTRACTION?
FROM HITTING THE BOOKS? ALWAYS.
WHAT YOU GOT?
(LATCH CLUNKS, DOOR SQUEAKS OPEN)
WHOA! ARE YOU SERIOUS?
YEAH. A 1970 TRIUMPH BONNEVILLE 650.
OH!
THIS LOOKS LIKE A '71. YEAH.
SCOTT: WHATEVER IT IS, IT'S SEEN BETTER DAYS.
MY COUSIN WANTS ME TO TAKE IT TO THE REPAIR SHOP IN CALGARY.
HE LAID IT OVER AND NOW IT WON'T START.
WELL, WHY TAKE IT ALL THE WAY INTO THE CITY?
I CAN GET IT DONE.
FOR SURE, I CAN DO IT CHEAPER THAN CALGARY PRICES.
I DON'T KNOW. WHAT ABOUT YOUR STUDYING?
IT'S LIKE YOU SAID,
BIO-CHEMISTRY? IT'S A NO-BRAINER.
SO, I'LL TALK TO THE GATE CREW,
SEE WHEN WE CAN START SCHOOLING.
WELL, WE CAN WAIT A FEW DAYS, RIGHT?
YEAH. SURE. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, THERE'S NO RUSH.
I MEAN, I'VE GOT A GOOD FEELING ABOUT THIS HORSE.
I'M GLAD YOU TALKED ME INTO THE DEAL.
WELL, CAN I TALK YOU INTO BUYING ME DINNER?
UH, TONIGHT?
OH, RIGHT, YOU GOT THAT FAMILY THING.
YEAH, I HAVE A FAMILY THING. YEAH.
BUT WHY DON'T YOU COME?
TO DINNER AT HEARTLAND?
YEAH. YEAH, YOU CAN MEET LOU'S IN-LAWS,
AND YEAH, WHY NOT?
BECAUSE THE LAST FAMILY DINNER WAS A TOTAL CATASTROPHE.
NO, AN EARTHQUAKE IS A CATASTROPHE.
I MEAN, THE CHICKEN MIGHT BE OVERDONE,
THE PEAS MIGHT BE MUSHY,
BUT OTHER THAN THAT WHAT COULD GO WRONG?
SHANE: HEY! HEY, AMY!
SHANE! WHAT'RE YOU DOING HERE?
UH, ME AND MY MOM CAME IN FOR A PIECE OF PIE.
YEAH, ALL THE WAY FROM MOOSE JAW
FOR SOME SASKATOON BERRY PIE.
WELL, I'M SORRY,
BUT I JUST GRABBED THE LAST TWO.
WHAT'RE YOU REALLY DOING HERE?
WELL, ACTUALLY, I HAD A COUPLE OF DAYS OFF WORK,
SO... YEAH, SO MOM SAID WE COULD VISIT.
YOU KNOW, I GET TO SEE PAL,
AND WE MIGHT EVEN STAY AT THE DUDE RANCH.
YEAH, IF THERE'S ROOM.
I'M SURE THERE IS.
THINK YOU CAN SAVE ME A PIECE OF THAT PIE?
(LAUGHS) TELL YOU WHAT, I'LL DO BETTER THAN THAT.
HOW ABOUT YOU COME FOR DINNER?
OH, I DON'T KNOW...
COME ON, YOU HAVEN'T EVEN MET LOU'S BABY.
YEAH, COME ON, MOM.
LOU: YEAH. PETER'S DAD BASICALLY NEVER SAID A WORD TO ME
THE ENTIRE TIME I WAS THERE,
AND HIS MOTHER DIDN'T LIFT A FINGER
TO HELP ME WITH THE BABY.
IT'S LIKE SHE FIGURED SHE RAISED SIX KIDS,
SO WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL WITH ONLY ONE?
PETER: MY MOM HAD SIX KIDS, RIGHT?
SO YOU CAN BET SHE KNOWS HER WAY AROUND BABIES,
AND... SORRY.
SHE'S GOT TWO DAUGHTERS AND FOUR DAUGHTERS-IN-LAW,
SO I BET SHE KNOWS
HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM TOO, YOU KNOW?
JACK: YEAH.
LOU: SHE HAS NO PEOPLE SKILLS WHATSOEVER.
I FELT LIKE SHE WAS JUDGING ME EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY.
THAT'S UNBELIEVABLE. PETER'S SUCH A NICE GUY.
WHO KNEW HE WAS THE SPAWN FROM IN-LAWS FROM HELL?
I'M JUST GLAD I'LL GET A CHANCE
TO KNOW YOUR FOLKS A LITTLE BETTER.
THEY'RE GOOD PEOPLE.
YEAH.
YEAH, PROBABLY A LITTLE MORE CONSERVATIVE
THAN YOU'RE USED TO, RIGHT?
ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO THINGS LIKE...
NAMING A BABY.
OBVIOUSLY PETER AND I DECIDED ON THE FIRST NAME TOGETHER,
AND HE KNOWS THAT I WANT MARION AS THE MIDDLE NAME,
BUT HE...
NO, SHE WANTS HIS GRANDMOTHER'S NAME:
MINNIE.
MINNIE?
EXACTLY. WHO NAMES THEIR KID MINNIE?
WELL, THERE'S MINNIE DRIVER.
MINNIE MOUSE. MINNIE PEARL.
MINNIE ME.
MINNIE MORRIS.
(SIGHS) YEAH.
LOU THINKS IT SOUNDS LIKE A CAR.
WELL, THAT'S 'CAUSE IT IS.
IT'S A CLASSIC FROM A BYGONE ERA.
SORTA LIKE MY FOLKS, RIGHT?
(SIGHS HEAVILY)
YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT THAT THEY'RE CLOSE-MINDED, JACK.
IT'S JUST...
WHEN IT COMES TO THINGS LIKE CHRISTENINGS,
THEY'RE JUST USED TO THINGS A LITTLE MORE TRADITIONAL.
YOU KNOW, LIKE IN A CHURCH, WITH A MINISTER.
MOTHER MORRIS'S SOLE CONTRIBUTION.
PETER WORE IT AT HIS CHRISTENING.
WELL, AT LEAST IT'S GENDER NEUTRAL.
SORT OF.
LOU: OH... CAN YOU JUST, UH...
GRAMPA, GET DRESSED.
I WILL!
OH, HI!
SOMETHING BURNING?
PETER: (LAUGHS) NO!
UM, DINNER WILL BE JUST A FEW MINUTE.
BUT WHY DON'T WE GO SIT IN HERE,
GET SOMETHING TO DRINK?
HEY! JACK.
HI, TIM.
LOU. HI.
LISTEN, I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND,
BUT I INVITED...
JANICE. GREAT.
HEY, LOU. HI.
UH, CONGRATULATIONS.
ON THE BIRTH OF YOUR BABY.
OH, RIGHT. YEAH.
THAT WAS, YOU KNOW, SIX MONTHS AGO,
BUT, HEY, WHO'S COUNTING, RIGHT?
SO, UH...
WHAT CAN WE DO TO HELP?
LOU: NOTHING, DAD. NOTHING.
I'LL JUST SET AN EXTRA PLACE.
AMY: GOT THE PIES. TIM: HEY! AMY!
AND, UH, LOOK WHO I PICKED UP AT MAGGIE'S.
LOU: GREAT! TIM: HEY!
I HOPE WE'RE NOT IMPOSING.
NO. NO. NOT AT ALL.
THIS IS PERFECT TIMING.
I'LL JUST SET AN EXTRA... THREE PLACES?
YEAH, GO ON IN.
SHANE: YOUR DAD'S GONNA TEACH ME HOW TO ROPE.
AMY: YEAH?
I THINK YOU'D PICK THAT UP PRETTY FAST.
SHANE: YEAH, I DON'T KNOW.
THOUGHT A LOT ABOUT WHAT JACK SAID.
WHAT? WHAT? YOU...
JACK? YOU TALKED TO JACK?
YEAH. AND HE MADE A LOT OF SENSE.
WHY WOULD YOU TALK TO JACK?
OH, TIM, LET IT GO.
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
WHAT DOES MATTER IS THAT
I NEED TO DO WHAT'S BEST FOR MY SON.
AND IF THAT MEANS TELLING HIM THE TRUTH ABOUT US,
ABOUT YOU,
THEN THAT'S WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN.
OKAY, SO, WHAT DO YOU WANNA DO?
WHAT'S THE NEXT STEP?
I DON'T KNOW.
I CAN'T JUST DROP A BOMB ON HIM.
NO.
WELL, WE COULD TELL HIM TOGETHER.
YEAH, WE COULD DO THAT.
OKAY, WELL THEN, THAT'S WHAT WE'LL DO,
TELL HIM TOGETHER. OKAY.
OKAY, I'VE GOT THIS THEORY.
FIRST, I FIND OUT THAT YOUR DAD CAME ALL THE WAY
TO MOOSE JAW TO SEE MY MOM.
MY DAD WAS IN MOOSE JAW?
AND NOBODY JUST GOES TO MOOSE JAW.
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN,
MY MOM DECIDES IT'S TIME TO PICK UP
AND COME BACK HERE.
OKAY. SO, WHAT'S YOUR THEORY?
YOUR DAD'S GONNA ASK MY MOM TO MARRY HIM.
I'M ALMOST A 100 PERCENT SURE SHE'S DECIDED TO SAY YES!
ISN'T THAT AWESOME?
IT'S, LIKE, WE'RE GONNA BE A REAL FAMILY.
AMY: SHANE...
MY DAD HAS A GIRLFRIEND.
YEAH, MAYBE, BUT NOT FOR LONG.
ARCHIE: SO, JACK, HOW GOES IT WITH THE MORTAR?
JACK: OH, GOOD.
WELL, I FOUND A FEW LOOSE BRICKS IN THE FLUE,
BUT NO BIG DEAL.
ARCHIE: IF I WERE YOU, I'D REPOINT THE WHOLE THING.
NOW DON'T GO TELLING JACK HOW TO DO THINGS
IN HIS OWN HOME.
COME ON, MOM. IT'S JUST DAD'S WAY OF SAYING
HE WANTS TO GET HIS HANDS DIRTY, RIGHT?
WELL, A MAN GETS A COUPLE OF DAYS VACATION,
YOU'D THINK HE'D RATHER GO FISHING INSTEAD.
ARCHIE: WELL, YOU COULD TWIST HIS ARM.
(POLITE LAUGHTER AROUND THE TABLE)
GRACE: SPEAKING OF VACATION,
HOW'S YOUR VACATION GOING, SHANE?
SHANE: WELL, WE'RE NOT REALLY HERE ON VACATION,
ARE WE, MOM?
I THINK HE'S GONNA TAKE YOU UP ON THOSE ROPING LESSONS, DAD.
OH YEAH, SAW THAT COMING.
SHANE: I DON'T THINK YOU CAME ALL THE WAY TO MOOSE JAW
TO GIVE ME ROPING LESSONS.
YOU CAME TO SEE MY MOM.
YOU... YOU TOLD HIM?
I DIDN'T.
I THOUGHT YOU AND I WOULD...
I DIDN'T TELL HIM.
SHANE: SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO. I FIGURED IT OUT MYSELF,
AND AMY KNOWS TOO.
WELL, I KNOW WHAT YOU TOLD ME, SHANE,
BUT I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
OKAY, BUT IF IT ISN'T TRUE, THEN WHY ARE WE HERE?
HEY, SHANE, YOU'VE SAID ENOUGH.
NO, NO, OBVIOUSLY, HE KNOWS.
KNOWS WHAT, DAD?
BUT RIGHT NOW IS REALLY NOT THE TIME OR THE PLACE.
I THINK THAT YOU AND I AND OUR SON
SHOULD TAKE A WALK.
LOU: WHAT?! YOUR SON?
TIM: WHO SAID... LOU: OH MY GOD, DAD!
WAIT.
SH-SHANE...
SHANE!
THANK YOU FOR THIS.
NO, NO, I WILL HANDLE THIS.
NO. NO! I'M GONNA TALK TO MY SON.
NOT YOU.
LOU: THIS IS... THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE.
I...
(KNOCK AT THE DOOR)
HEY. HEY.
CHECK THIS OUT. TY...
THIS IS AN ORIGINAL SPARKPLUG
FROM THE 1971 TRIUMPH BONNEVILLE.
TY...
WHAT? WHAT'S WRONG?
SHANE'S MY BROTHER.
WHAT?
HE'S MY DAD'S SON.
YOU'RE KIDDING ME.
NO. IT'S TRUE.
WOW! YOU HAVE A BROTHER.
YOU'RE RIGHT, THERE WAS SOMETHING GOING ON.
YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN SHANE'S FACE
WHEN HE FOUND OUT.
HE WAS TOTALLY SHOCKED.
WELL, WHAT ABOUT YOU?
YOU MUST'VE BEEN PRETTY SHOCKED TOO, RIGHT?
I DON'T KNOW. I'M...
I'M PRETTY OKAY WITH IT.
LOU: OH MY GOD! I HAVE A BROTHER.
HOW LONG DO YOU THINK MY DAD HAS KNOWN ABOUT THIS?
DO YOU THINK HE KNEW
THE FIRST TIME THEY CAME TO THE DUDE RANCH?
I DON'T KNOW, HONEY, YOU'D HAVE TO ASK HIM.
LIKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM?
HE HAS A SECRET LOVE CHILD
AND HE WAITS UNTIL NOW TO REVEAL ALL.
OH MY GOD...
YOUR PARENTS.
WHAT THEY MUST BE THINKING.
OH, THEY'LL BE FINE.
COME HERE.
IT'S GONNA BE FINE.
IT'S JUST...
THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT OUR BABY.
I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST SAID THAT!
YOU'RE NOT A TERRIBLE PERSON, LOU.
AND AS FAR AS MY PARENTS GO,
JUST DON'T WORRY ABOUT THEM, OKAY?
THEY UNDERSTAND THAT THINGS HAPPEN IN FAMILIES.
YEAH, IN OTHER FAMILIES. (SIGHS)
(FIRE CRACKLES)
SHANE, I...
I KNOW YOU'RE MAD AT ME,
AND YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE.
LOOK, I'M THE ONE WHO DECIDED NOT TO TELL HIM ABOUT YOU.
I WANTED...
I WAS DETERMINED TO RAISE YOU ON MY OWN.
YOU WERE MY BABY.
YOU STILL ARE.
YOU ARE SO, SO PRECIOUS TO ME.
PLEASE,
PLEASE SAY SOMETHING.
YOU LIED TO ME.
(DUCKS QUACK, BIRDS SING)
LOU: DAD, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?
I'M NOT PROUD OF THAT TIME IN MY LIFE, OKAY?
IF I HAD HAD A CLUE-
OH PLEASE, YOU'VE KNOWN ABOUT THIS FOR MONTHS
AND YOU NEVER SAID A WORD TO US.
YEAH, SHANE KEPT TELLING ME THERE WAS SOMETHING GOING ON.
HAVE YOU TALKED TO HIM?
NO, NOT YET I HAVEN'T. NO.
WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD.
HE THOUGHT THAT YOU AND HIS MOM WERE GETTING MARRIED.
OH PLEASE!
I-I WILL... I'M GOING TO TALK TO HIM
AS SOON AS HIS MOTHER LETS ME NEAR HIM.
COME ON, DAD.
WHAT? I'M NOT MAKING EXCUSES.
FOR THAT TIME IN MY LIFE, I MADE SOME BAD CHOICES.
IT WAS A LOT TO PROCESS.
YOU KNOW, YOUR GRANDFATHER COULD TELL YOU.
WAIT, YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS, GRAMPA?
TIM: JACK.
LOU: AND YOU NEVER TOLD ANYONE?
TIM: JACK?
IT WASN'T MY PLACE TO TELL.
AND YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS TOO!
WELL, NOT REALLY.
I MEAN, I SUSPECTED SOMETHING.
YOU SUSPECTED, BUT YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING?
I MEAN, SOMEBODY COULD'VE HAD THE DECENCY
TO FILL ME IN HERE.
LOU, YOU WERE OUT OF TOWN.
WELL, THERE'S TELEPHONES, E-MAIL, TEXT MESSAGING.
I MEAN, HAVE YOU GUYS NEVER HEARD OF SOCIAL NETWORKING?
I MEAN, WHY WAS I THE LAST ONE TO KNOW?
OKAY, WHOA. I GET THAT THIS THING WITH SHANE
COULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED AT A WORSE TIME,
BUT IT HAPPENED,
AND YOU'VE GOTTA GET OVER YOURSELF!
GET OVER MYSELF?
LOU, YOU ARE BEING SO SELF-CENTERED.
JACK: COME ON, GIRLS! LOU: OKAY, I'M SORRY,
BUT THERE'S A LOT GOING ON IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW
SO EXCUSE ME IF IT'S TAKING ME A WHILE
TO GET USED TO THE IDEA.
WHAT IDEA?
(OBJECT CLATTERS, LOU GASPS)
(DEBRIS CRUMBLES AND CLATTERS)
(SIGHS)
(BRICK CLANKS)
LOU: WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?
I MEAN, WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO MY OWN FAMILY IS ANYMORE.
LET'S JUST GET IN THE CAR AND GO BACK TO ESTEVAN
FOR A PROPER CHRISTENING.
NO. H-HONEY... LOU, SERIOUSLY...
LOU: NO, I AM SERIOUS.
MAYBE YOUR FAMILY CAN GET THEIR ACT TOGETHER,
BECAUSE MINE OBVIOUSLY CAN'T.
LOU...
I DON'T CARE IF THE BABY HAS TO WEAR
AN ANCIENT CHRISTENING DRESS
AND WALK AROUND THE REST OF HER LIFE
WITH AN ARCHAIC NAME LIKE MINNIE.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT? BY THE WAY,
THERE ARE AT LEAST 12 MORRIS GRANDCHILDREN.
BUT ONLY MY DAUGHTER GETS STUCK
WITH A RIDICULOUS NAME. HONEY, HONEY...
HI, GUYS.
YEAH.
HI.
(KNOCK AT THE DOOR)
JANICE. HI.
I THINK WE NEED TO TALK.
LOOK, I HOPE YOU DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY,
BUT TIM AND ME...
IT HASN'T EXACTLY BEEN THE SMOOTHEST RIDE.
YEAH, I DON'T DOUBT IT.
LOOK, I HAVE REAL FEELINGS FOR HIM,
BUT IF THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON BETWEEN YOU AND TIM,
I DON'T REALLY WANNA STAND IN THE WAY.
I DON'T WANT TO BE IN COMPETITION WITH YOU
BECAUSE I WOULD LOSE.
I MEAN, YOU GUYS HAVE A KID TOGETHER
AND I JUST...
I KNOW THERE'S A LOT OF HISTORY THERE,
SO...
ANCIENT HISTORY,
SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY.
THERE'S NOTHING GOING ON BETWEEN TIM AND I.
IT'S ALL ABOUT SHANE.
(PAL SNUFFLES, TRUCK ENGINE RUMBLES)
WHAT'RE YOU DOING HERE?
UH... I, UM...
I JUST HAD A FEW THINGS I HAD TO CLEAR UP WITH MIRANDA.
WHAT?
WAIT A SECOND. WHOA, WAIT. HOLD IT!
COME ON! YOU DON'T THINK THAT...
I HAD TO HEAR IT FROM HER, TIM.
BECAUSE IF THERE IS SOMETHING GOING ON,
I DON'T WANNA BE THE LAST PERSON TO KNOW.
THERE'S NOTHING'S GOING ON WITH ME AND ANYONE.
EXCEPT MAYBE WITH YOU.
I WANNA BELIEVE YOU, TIM. I JUST... (SIGHS)
NO, BELIEVE ME.
BELIEVE ME.
BELIEVE ME NOW?
OKAY.
THAT WAS A PRETTY PERSUASIVE ARGUMENT.
I GOTTA TALK TO SHANE.
HIS MOM SAYS HE'S FEEDING THE HORSES.
SHANE: (URGES HORSE ONWARD)
TIM: SHANE! WAIT. WAIT, SHANE!
SHANE: GET UP, GET UP!
GRACE: I LOOKED THROUGH YOUR PANTRY
BUT I COULDN'T FIND THE HOT MUSTARD.
ARCHIE ONLY LIKES HOT MUSTARD ON HIS SANDWICH.
OH. UH... OKAY.
I'LL GO INTO TOWN AND PICK SOME UP.
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. HE'LL, HE'LL SURVIVE.
OKAY.
GRACE, YOU KNOW, UM...
I GUESS NOTHING ABOUT THIS WEEKEND
HAS REALLY TURNED OUT THE WAY WE ALL PLANNED.
MY ONLY PLAN WAS TO GET TO KNOW YOUR FAMILY BETTER,
AND BELIEVE ME, I HAVEN'T BEEN DISAPPOINTED.
YEAH, NEVER A DULL MOMENT.
BUT, UM...
YOU KNOW, WITH THE WAY IT'S ALL TURNED OUT,
I JUST DON'T THINK THIS NAMING CEREMONY
IS IN THE CARDS, SO...
LOOK, LOU,
YOU DON'T HAVE TO CALL THE BABY MINNIE,
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO.
OH, GRACE, I WAS JUST...
GRACE: NEVERMIND.
IT WAS JUST SOMETHING I MENTIONED IN PASSING TO PETER.
NOW, CAN WE NOT OVER-THINK EVERY LITTLE DETAIL?
TIM: HEY, LOU.
LOU: HI.
TIM: HI...
LOU: GRACE. TIM: HI, GRACE.
HELLO.
SO, HAVE YOU SEEN SHANE? I... WE'RE...
WHAT? NO. NOT LATELY.
TIM: WELL, THANKS.
MIRANDA: THIS IS YOUR FAULT.
TIM: LET'S JUST GO, OKAY?
IT'S NOT LIKE THE FIRST TIME HE'S EVER RUN AWAY.
YOU'VE GOTTA BE USED TO IT BY NOW.
(EXASPERATED EXHALE)
BECAUSE OF THE HEAT CYCLES,
YOU HAVE TO EXPECT A LITTLE LOOSE MORTAR
BETWEEN THE BRICKS.
JACK: YEAH, I GET THAT.
ARCHIE: YOU HAVE TO REPOINT WITH MORTAR
OF THE SAME THERMAL EXPANSION COEFFICIENCY
AS THE BRICK YOU REPAIRED.
SEE, NOW I DON'T GET THAT.
WELL THEN, LET ME HELP YOU.
BECAUSE IF WE DON'T DO IT, IT WON'T GET DONE.
AT LEAST NOT BEFORE THE CHRISTENING...
OR AS YOU FOLKS CALL IT, THE, UH, "NAMING CEREMONY."
OKAY THEN, ARCHIE, LET'S GET AT IT.
(HORSE SNUFFLES)
AMY: WELL, LOOK WHO I FOUND OUT ON THE TRAIL.
SHANE: IT'S A COOL BIKE.
ARE YOU GONNA RIDE IT?
TY: WELL, I GOTTA GET IT TO START FIRST.
SHANE: HOW DO YOU DO THAT?
WELL, YOU GOTTA MAKE SURE THERE'S GAS IN THE TANK,
AND THEN A CHARGE IN THE BATTERY,
AND THEN JUST KIND OF TROUBLESHOOT YOUR WAY
FROM THERE.
YOU WANNA TOSS ME THAT RAG?
YEAH, SURE.
TY: THANKS.
IT'S MY DAD.
GREAT.
AMY: HELLO!
YEAH, I'M LOOKING RIGHT AT HIM.
YEAH, OKAY.
YEAH.
HE'S WITH YOUR MOM. I GUESS SHE'S PRETTY UPSET.
YEAH, SHE'S UPSET.
AMY: WELL, YOU DID RUN OFF, SHANE.
YEAH, WELL, I HAD MY REASONS.
AMY: SUCH AS?
YOU WERE RIGHT.
YOUR DAD DOES HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.
I WAS STUPID TO THINK HE WAS GONNA MARRY MY MOM.
AMY: HEY.
MY DAD MAY HAVE A GIRLFRIEND,
BUT HE'S STILL YOUR FATHER.
I GUESS I JUST WANTED US TO BE A FAMILY.
TY: JUST BECAUSE YOUR PARENTS AREN'T TOGETHER, SHANE,
DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE NOT A FAMILY.
IT'S TRUE.
I MEAN, YOU'VE GOT A MOM AND A DAD,
AND YOU'RE THEIR SON.
YEAH, BUT NOT A REAL SON.
I WISH I'D NEVER MET HIM.
WELL, WE SHOULD HEAD BACK.
COME ON.
SEE YA, SHANE.
SHANE: SEE YA.
THERE SHE IS. LOU: SHHH!
SO, IT'S OFFICIAL. YOUR MOM CAN'T STAND ME.
NO, THAT'S NOT TRUE.
OH, IT IS TRUE.
PETER: NO, IT ISN'T.
IT'S GONNA BE FINE.
WE'RE GONNA NAME THE BABY JUST LIKE WE SAID WE WOULD.
IT'S ALL GONNA WORK OUT.
ARE WE THOUGH?
BECAUSE WE SAID WANTED A SMALL FAMILY THING,
AND NOW LOOK AT IT.
YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW MIRANDA.
I BARELY KNOW SHANE.
YEAH, HE PROBABLY FEELS JUST THE WAY I FELT
WHEN WE FIRST STARTED DATING.
WHAT'RE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
NOTHING, HONEY. IT'S JUST THAT...
I KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE AN OUTSIDER
IN YOUR FAMILY, OKAY?
OKAY, IT IS HARDLY THE SAME THING.
OH REALLY?
YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE FIRST GOT TOGETHER
AND YOU HAD TO KEEP ME UNDER WRAPS ALL THE TIME?
HUH? REMEMBER?
YOU PHYSICALLY HID ME FROM JACK, LOU.
OKAY. I WAS THE ENEMY - THE EVIL OIL GUY.
YEAH, AND THAT DIDN'T LAST.
YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT, IT DIDN'T.
AND YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE YOU MADE SURE OF IT.
YOU JUST DRAGGED ME ALONG FOR THE RIDE
NOW LOOK AT US.
LOOK AT HOW FAR WE'VE COME.
SHOOT, EVEN MY DAMN DOG'S A PART OF THE FAMILY NOW!
HUH? (LAUGHS)
MIRANDA: ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO IT. LET'S TALK TO HIM.
WAIT.
I WANNA TALK TO OUR SON.
I DON'T KNOW.
ON MY OWN.
(PEBBLE SPLASHES IN POND)
YOUR MOTHER WAS PRETTY DISAPPOINTED
I JUMPED THE GUN AT DINNER LAST NIGHT.
WE WERE SUPPOSED TO TELL YOU TOGETHER.
(PEBBLE SPLASHES)
PROBABLY NOT THE FIRST TIME
I HAVEN'T MADE GOOD ON A PROMISE TO HER.
I FEEL LUCKY THAT SHE GAVE ME A SECOND CHANCE
TO GET TO KNOW YOU.
(PEBBLE SPLASHES)
ACTUALLY, SHE GAVE ME A THIRD CHANCE.
I WAS KINDA HOPING THAT YOU MIGHT GIVE ME
ANOTHER CHANCE TOO, SON.
SON?
GIMME A BREAK.
TIM: HEY, WAIT A SECOND. WE'RE STILL TALKING.
DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME.
SHANE: YEAH, WELL, YOU WALKED AWAY FROM ME.
AMY: SHE'S REALLY SO ADORABLE.
LOU: YEAH, SHE IS.
LOOK, I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT WHAT I SAID.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
I'M WORKING ON GETTING OVER MYSELF.
I JUST...
I KNOW THIS IS A LOT TO TAKE IN
AND...
I KNOW HOW MUCH THIS CEREMONY MEANS TO YOU.
TYPICAL DAD.
PICKED THE PERFECT TIME, AS USUAL.
LOU, SHANE... SHANE IS A GREAT KID.
I THINK YOU'D REALLY LIKE HIM IF YOU GAVE HIM A CHANCE.
IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT.
HE SEEMS LIKE A REALLY GREAT KID.
IT'S...
JUST HASN'T REALLY SUNK IN YET, YOU KNOW?
WE HAVE A BROTHER.
I KNOW.
YOU KNOW, IT'S PRETTY AMAZING WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT.
DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE LITTLE
AND WE ALWAYS WISHED THAT WE HAD A LITTLE BROTHER
THAT WE COULD BOSS AROUND
AND DO THE DISHES AFTER DINNER.
BLAME HIM FOR EVERYTHING THAT WENT WRONG.
EXACTLY, YEAH.
YOU HAVE A BROTHER?
SHANE IS YOUR BROTHER? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
LOU: (SIGHS)
MALLORY, YOU CAN PULL THE PLUG ON THE SANDWICHES.
YOU'VE GOT ENOUGH THERE TO FEED AN ARMY.
WELL, BOYS ARE BIG EATERS.
A GROWING BOY IN A GROWING FAMILY,
BELIEVE ME,
THE GROCERY BILL IS GONNA SKYROCKET.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.
YOU KNOW HE LIVES IN A DIFFERENT PROVINCE
WITH HIS MOM.
YOU JUST YOU WAIT.
I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS HIS AGE.
I PRACTICALLY LIVED HERE.
YEAH. IT'S LIKE YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN A PART OF THE FAMILY.
YEAH, BUT HE IS FAMILY, AND BLOOD IS THICK -
THICKER THAN FRIENDS OR NEIGHBOURS,
OR NOT TO MENTION A LOYAL EMPLOYEE
FOR YEARS AND YEARS.
MALLORY...
DON'T WORRY, THIS'LL BE THE LAST SANDWICH
I'LL BE MAKING AT THIS HOUSE.
I SEE. OKAY.
GRACE: ARE YOU MY LITTLE SWEETHEART GIRL?
YES YOU ARE.
I SEE YOU'RE MY GIRL.
YES I DO.
THERE. THAT'S MY GIRL.
GRACE?
OH. I, I WAS JUST, UM...
I DIDN'T WANT HER TO GET A CHILL.
IT'S THE CUTEST BABY I'VE EVER SEEN.
I JUST LOVE HER TO BITS.
ME TOO.
GRACE: LOOK AT THAT. SHE'S GOT THE MORRIS MOUTH.
AND THAT DETERMINED LITTLE LOOK SHE GETS ON HER FACE
REMINDS ME OF SOMEONE.
YOUR MOM?
NO, YOU.
GRACE, UH, I HAVE A BIG FAVOUR TO ASK.
THERE'S SOMETHING I REALLY NEED TO TAKE CARE OF
AND I WAS HOPING MAYBE YOU COULD WATCH HER
FOR A LITTLE WHILE?
OH, I'D LOVE TO!
I'VE BEEN DYING TO GET MY HANDS ON THAT BABY.
YOU HAVE?
OF COURSE!
OKAY, GRACE, IF THAT'S TRUE,
WHY DID YOU NEVER SAY ANYTHING?
(SIGHING) LOU,
THE LAST THING A NEW MOM NEEDS IS UNWANTED ADVICE.
WHEN MY KIDS WERE LITTLE, ARCHIE'S MOM WAS INSUFFERABLE.
I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT.
AND RIGHT THERE AND THEN I DECIDED
THAT I WAS NOT GONNA BE ONE OF THOSE PUSHY MOTHER-IN-LAWS,
AND THAT WHEN I BECAME A GRANDMOTHER,
I WOULD NEVER GIVE AN OPINION UNLESS IT WAS ASKED.
AND I WAS BEGINNING TO THINK YOU WOULD NEVER ASK.
OH... (SNIFFLING)
MIRANDA: LOOK, I'M SORRY.
I WANTED TO GIVE IT SOME MORE TIME,
BUT ONCE HE GOT IT INTO HIS HEAD TO LEAVE,
THAT WAS THAT.
IT'S OKAY. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
SHANE,
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT THAT OFFER
FOR THOSE ROPING LESSONS STILL STANDS.
AND I WAS FIGURING THAT, WELL, IF YOU GOT GOOD ENOUGH,
THERE'S A LITTLE BRITCHES RODEO
IN HIGH RIVER IN JUNE.
I KNOW THAT MIGHT SOUND KIND OF LAME TO YOU,
BUT, WELL, THE KIDS THAT COMPETE IN THOSE
ARE PRETTY FIERCE,
AND AFTER THAT, YOU HAVE HIGH SCHOOL RODEOS.
YOU KNOW, EVENTUALLY THEY HAVE FATHER-SON TEAMS-
YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER! NOT LIKE THAT.
TIM: I AM YOUR FATHER.
NOW, LISTEN,
I'M GONNA KEEP THIS PONY HERE FOR YOU
AND YOU CAN COME AND VISIT HIM
ANYTIME YOU WANT,
IN CASE YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND.
MIRANDA: HEY, SHANE.
IF YOU STILL WANNA GO, WE HAVE TO HIT THE ROAD.
LOU: WHAT? YOU'RE GOING?
NO, NO, YOU GUYS CAN'T GO YET.
THERE IS AN INSANE MESS BACK AT THE HOUSE -
THEY COULD OFFICIALLY DECLARE THE LIVING ROOM
A DISASTER AREA -
AND IF MY BABY'S GONNA HAVE A PROPER NAMING CEREMONY
THEN I NEED EVERYBODY IN THE FAMILY -
AND I MEAN EVERYBODY - TO PITCH IN.
YOU ANY GOOD WITH A BROOM?
UH... YEAH.
YEAH, GOOD. ALL RIGHT, YOU CAN SWEEP.
OR WOULD YOU RATHER MOP?
YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU CAN DO BOTH.
AND I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, IF WE GET IN DONE IN TIME,
YOU CAN GET TO KNOW YOUR NEW NIECE.
(EXHALES FORCEFULY)
(SIGHS, EXHAUSTED)
GRACE: I FOUND THIS IN THE WELCOMING BASKET,
BUT I FIGURED YOU NEEDED IT MORE THAN WE DO.
OH, UM, THANKS, BUT...
GRACE: NO? OH.
HOW 'BOUT ONE OF THESE?
WELL, I WOULDN'T SAY NO TO THAT.
(SIGHS)
DID PETER EVER TELL YOU ABOUT HIS GREAT UNCLE BURT?
THANK YOU. UM, THE ONE IN VICTORIA?
MM-HM. LIFELONG BACHELOR.
WELL, THAT'S HOW MY MOTHER
USED TO DESCRIBE HER BROTHER ANYWAY.
YEAH, HE OPENED A LITTLE B&B
WITH HIS BEST FRIEND, ALAN.
MMM. ANOTHER LIFELONG BACHELOR?
MM-HMM.
SEE, THOSE THINGS WEREN'T TALKED ABOUT IN THOSE DAYS.
UH... AND THEN THERE'S HIS AUNT ENID.
MM.
HE NEVER TOLD YOU ABOUT HER?
NO.
WELL, SHE HAD A BABY BOY WHEN SHE WAS FIFTEEN,
AND THEY BROUGHT HIM UP AS ENID'S BROTHER,
NOT HER SON.
SEE, LOU, I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT...
THAT EVERY FAMILY HAS A SKELETON OR TWO.
YEAH, I THINK MY DAD HAS A WHOLE GRAVEYARD.
BOTH: (LAUGH)
(MATCH FIZZLES)
JACK: HERE GOES NOTHING.
FAMILY: (CHUCKLES)
SO FAR, SO GOOD.
IT'S AN AUSPICIOUS BEGINNING.
JACK: SO WELCOME, EVERYONE.
FAMILY AND OLD FRIENDS,
NEW FRIENDS,
AND NEW FAMILY.
SO WE'RE GATHERED HERE TODAY
TO WELCOME LOU AND PETER'S DAUGHTER.
AND JUST AS FAMILY CHANGES
WITH THE ADDITION OF EACH NEW MEMBER,
SO DO TRADITIONS.
MY GREAT GRANDFATHER, SAMUEL BARTLETT,
WAS BORN DURING THE STORM OF THE CENTURY.
HIS PARENTS COULDN'T GET TO A CHURCH,
SO THEY HELD THEIR OWN CHRISTENING
RIGHT IN FRONT OF THIS FIREPLACE.
THIS, THIS IS SAMUEL BARTLETT'S STONE RIGHT HERE.
SO, I GUESS YOU COULD SAY THAT WHAT STARTED OUT
AS A BARTLETT TRADITION
HAS BECOME A BARLETT-FLEMING MORRIS TRADITION,
AS UNIQUE AS THE BABY HERSELF.
YEAH.
JACK: SO NOW, LET'S WELCOME THIS BEAUTIFUL BABY
AND BLESS HER WITH A NAME OF HER OWN.
YES. HELLO.
MALLORY. WOULD YOU HOLD HER PLEASE?
NO, NO, YOU'RE THE GODMOTHER.
COME HERE,
I KNOW YOU'RE NOT GONNA DROP HER.
ALL RIGHT.
(CLEARS THROAT)
CATHERINE MARION MINNIE FLEMING MORRIS,
MAY YOUR LIFE BE FILLED WITH FORTUNE AND JOY
AND YOUR HEART FILLED WITH LOVE.
AND BEAR THAT NAME AND HONOUR IT
AND GROW TO BE A MOST WISE AND UNDERSTANDING PERSON!
MUAH!
THIS IS YOUR STONE RIGHT HERE.
YAY! (FAMILY APPLAUDS)
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU, EVERYONE, FOR BEING HERE.
BUT, UM, OUR LITTLE CATHERINE ISN'T THE ONLY NEW MEMBER
OF THE FAMILY.
SO COME HERE, SHANE.
UH, NO. NO, IT'S OKAY, REALLY.
TY: IF I WERE YOU, SHANE, I'D DO AS SHE SAYS.
ALL: (LAUGH)
LOU: COME ON, IT'S OKAY.
OKAY. SO, UH...
AMY, WHAT DO YOU THINK? THIS ONE?
I THINK IT'S PERFECT.
THIS IS MY STONE.
AMY: AND THIS ONE OVER HERE IS MINE.
LOU: THIS WILL BE YOUR STONE, RIGHT BETWEEN OURS.
THE SHANE STONE.
ALL: (APPLAUDING)
WELCOME TO THE FAMILY, SHANE.
(CATHERINE COOS)
THANKS.
HEY. WHEN THESE SISTERS INVITE YOU INTO THIS FAMILY,
WATCH OUT, IT'S A GAME CHANGER.
ALL: (LAUGH WARMLY)
CATHERINE WOULD LIKE SOME CAKE.
YOU KNOW, THAT WAS PRETTY DAMN SPECIAL
WHAT LOU DID FOR SHANE.
YEAH.
YOU STILL HAVE ISSUES WITH HER?
I'M NOT EXACTLY FEELING THE LOVE FROM YOUR FAMILY, TIM.
I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU ALWAYS INSIST
ON DRAGGING ME ALONG.
BECAUSE WE'RE TOGETHER.
OH, ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?
'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW, I JUST CAN'T HELP FEELING
LIKE MAYBE WE RUSHED INTO A RELATIONSHIP
A LITTLE TOO QUICKLY.
OKAY. ALL RIGHT, FINE.
YOU WANNA BREAK UP AGAIN?
NO, I JUST...
YOU KNOW, LIKE YOU SAID, "SLOW AND STEADY."
SLOW AND STEADY, THAT'S IT.
(ENGINE ROARS)
SCOTT: MY COUSIN'S GONNA BE VERY HAPPY TO SEE THIS.
TY: YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO HAVE ANY MORE COUSINS
IN NEED OF A MOTORCYCLE MECHANIC, WOULD YOU?
'CAUSE BETWEEN PAYING RENT AND GOING TO SCHOOL,
I COULD USE A LITTLE EXTRA CASH.
SCOTT: WELL, IF YOU CAN HANDLE THE WORKLOAD,
I CAN DEFINITELY PUT THE WORD OUT.
TY: ALL RIGHT.
SCOTT: GOOD JOB. TY: THANK YOU.
(REVS MOTOR LOUDLY)
PETER: WELL, WE'LL SEE YOU, DAD.
THANKS FOR COMING TO THE RESCUE.
I FIGURE THAT FIREPLACE WILL LAST ANOTHER HUNDRED YEARS.
OH, YOU BET.
THAT'S WHY NEXT TIME YOU'RE DOWN THIS WAY,
I'M TAKING YOU FISHING.
ARCHIE: PETER SAYS YOU KNOW SOME GOOD SPOTS
UP IN THE HIGH COUNTRY.
GRACE: OH, I'M GONNA MISS YOUR SWEET LITTLE FACE.
YES, I AM.
OKAY...
TIME TO GO BACK TO MOMMA.
YOU COULDN'T ASK FOR A BETTER ONE.
WELL, SHE'S GOT A PRETTY FABULOUS GRANDMOTHER TOO.
LOU: OH... IT'S OKAY.
SHE'S GONNA MISS YOU.
PETER: SAFE TRIP, GUYS. ARCHIE: BYE NOW.
HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON? YOU OKAY?
I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SAYING THIS, BUT...
I'M ACTUALLY GONNA MISS GRANDMA GRACE.
(SNIFFLES)
TIM: WE'LL TALK. MIRANDA: YEAH, WE'LL TALK.
SEE YA.
SOON, I HOPE.
I GUESS.
HEY.
TIM: HEY.
SHANE.
YOU CAN CALL ME ANYTIME, HM?
YOU THINK ABOUT THE SUMMER.
IT'S WIDE OPEN.
(IGNITION TURNS, ENGINE RUMBLES)
HE HATES ME.
NO HE DOESN'T.
HE'S JUST GOT A LOT OF STUFF TO WORK OUT RIGHT NOW -
WE ALL DO -
BUT HE'LL GET OVER IT.
THAT FIREPLACE LOOKS GOOD.
AT LEAST AS GOOD AS BEFORE.
HOW 'BOUT THAT NAMING CEREMONY?
PROBABLY THE BEST ONE EVER.
WE DID ALL RIGHT.
(GLASSES CLINK)
♪ Is it worth every minute of it? ♪
THANKS.
♪ Are you worth every minute of love? ♪
WHAT IF I NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN?
WHO? SHANE?
♪ Is it worth every minute of it? ♪
YOU'LL SEE HIM AGAIN.
YOU'RE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE YOU JUST KEEP COMING BACK TO.
I SHOULD KNOW.
♪ Baby, I don't care ♪
♪ I just wanna be in touch ♪