AMY: PREVIOUSLY ON "HEARTLAND":
JACK: SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT THE SPLIT.
WELL, NEWS SURE DOES TRAVEL FAST AROUND HERE.
BUT UH... IT'S JUST A BREAK.
ALMOST MAKES ME WANNA WORK AT MAGGIE'S AGAIN.
NO WAY. I NEED YOU HERE
TO HELP ME WITH THE BABY.
NICE TO FEEL APPRECIATED. WHO KNEW?
I WAS KINDA HOPING THAT YOU MIGHT GIVE ME
ANOTHER CHANCE, TOO, SON.
SON?
WAIT. WAIT A SECOND, WE'RE STILL TALKING.
DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME!
SHANE: YEAH, WELL, YOU WALKED AWAY FROM ME.
SHANE.
YOU CAN CALL ME ANYTIME.
AND THINK ABOUT THE SUMMER -
IT'S WIDE OPEN.
HE HATES ME.
TIM: WELL, BET YOU'RE HAPPY TO BE FINISHED SCHOOL.
LEAVE ANY GIRLFRIENDS BEHIND?
NOPE.
WELL, I AM REALLY,
REALLY GLAD YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND
AND DECIDED TO SPEND THE SUMMER,
BECAUSE WE ARE GONNA HAVE SOME FUN.
THEY CLOSED THAT ROAD.
THERE WAS A ROCK SLIDE.
WIPED IT RIGHT OUT A FEW WEEKS AGO.
SHANE: OH YEAH?
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
THERE'S AN OLD MOVIE SET UP THERE.
IT'S LIKE AN OLD WESTERN TOWN.
REALLY? YEAH, REALLY.
SOME OF THOSE OLD WESTERNS ARE PRETTY COOL.
OH, YEAH. OH YEAH, I LOVE 'EM.
I THINK "STAGECOACH," - REMEMBER "STAGECOACH"? -
"MY DARLING CLEMENTINE,"
AND "SHANE."
YOU MIGHT'VE BEEN NAMED AFTER "SHANE."
I DON'T THINK SO.
I'VE NEVER HEARD OF THOSE ONES.
I LIKE, YOU KNOW, "YOUNG GUNS,"
"DESPERADO,"
"SHANGHAI NOON."
YEAH, WELL, THOSE MOVIES WERE MADE IN THE NINETIES.
YEAH. LIKE I SAID, YOU KNOW, THEY'RE OLD.
YEAH.
(TRUCK RUMBLES)
(HOOF STRIKES THE GROUND LOUDLY)
(BULL GRUNTS)
(SNORTED BREATH)
CHAD: WHEN I NOD...
GIMME A FAST GATE.
(BULL GRUNTS AND SNORTS)
(GATE RATTLES)
(BULL GRUNTS WILDLY)
WAYLON: HEY!
(BULL GRUNTS AND SNORTS)
WAYLON: HEY! WHOA!
HEY, BULL! BULL!
CHAD: WOOO!
WAYLON: GOT 'EM!
CHAD: (TRIUMPHANT LAUGH) WOO!
MEN: HEY! ALL RIGHT! YOU LOOKED GREAT, KID!
CHAD: NOT BAD, HEY BUDDY?
CHAD'S RIDING GREAT!
YEAH, HE'S GOT DAD'S TALENT.
ALL I GOT ARE HIS FLAT FEET AND LADY HANDS.
YOU SHOULD GET CHAD TO GIVE ME SOME POINTERS.
I WANNA TRY BULLS.
WELL, NOW, I GUESS LIGHT REALLY DOES TRAVEL
FASTER THAN SOUND.
YOU ALWAYS SEEM SO BRIGHT,
UNTIL YOU SPEAK.
I'M SERIOUS.
COME ON NOW, CALEB.
A BULL'D SHAKE YOU FASTER THAN MS. PONAKA DID
A FEW YEARS BACK. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM TODAY?
I'M IN A BAD MOOD, ALL RIGHT?
IT'S MY RIDE.
I'M HAVING SERIOUS ENGINE TROUBLE.
TELL YOU WHAT.
GET YOUR BROTHER TO GIVE ME LESSONS,
AND I GOT A GUY WHO CAN FIX YOUR RIDE.
THINK ABOUT IT.
(TRUCK RUMBLES)
SHANE: HEY, PAL! HEY, AMY! AMY: WELCOME HOME, SHANE.
SHANE: CAN WE GO FOR A RIDE?
AMY: WHAT, ALREADY? SHANE: YEAH, YEAH.
SHANE: COME ON, LET'S GET PAL AND SPARTAN TACKED UP.
AMY: WELL, DON'T YOU WANNA GET SETTLED AT BIG RIVER FIRST?
YOU KNOW, I KINDA WISH
I WAS STAYING HERE WITH YOU GUYS.
TIM: SHANE!
TIM: HEY!
GOT YOU A WELCOME HOME GIFT. (LAUGHS)
UH... THANKS.
YEAH, YOU CAN PRACTICE ROPING HIM.
COWBOYS ROPE STEERS.
WELL, YOU GOTTA START SOMEWHERE.
MY DAD GOT ME ONE OF THESE LITTLE GUYS
WHEN I WAS SEVEN.
DAD, HE'S NOT SEVEN.
COULD WE JUST GO FOR A RIDE?
YEAH. LET'S GO GRAB THE SADDLES.
WHAT'RE YOU LOOKIN' AT?
♪♪♪
♪ And at the break of day you sank into your dream ♪
♪ You dreamer ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh... ♪
♪ You dreamer ♪
LOU: KATIE'S LEAKED THROUGH AGAIN.
WHY'RE YOU LOOKING AT ME?
BECAUSE YOU NEVER PULL OUT THE BACK PROPERLY
AND YOU GIVE HER A DIAPER WEDGIE.
SHE JUST SQUIRMS WHEN I CHANGE HER.
I DON'T NEED EXCUSES,
I NEED YOU TO GIVE HER A BATH NOW.
FINE. THANK YOU.
AND PLEASE REMEMBER TO WASH UNDER HER NECK THIS TIME.
(EXASPERATED SIGH)
I KNOW IT'S TOUGH WHEN PETER'S AWAY,
BUT SHE'S HELPING THE BEST SHE CAN.
LOU: WELL, SHE BETTER BE;
WE'RE PAYING HER DOUBLE HER USUAL FEE.
(CHUCKLES)
HEY, TIM, WHERE'S SHANE?
WENT FOR A RIDE WITH AMY.
COULDN'T WAIT TO GET AWAY FROM ME.
CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT FOR THE KID.
HE HATES ME.
SERIOUSLY, HE HATES ME.
JACK: YOU GOTTA STOP SAYING THAT.
HE JUST NEEDS A LITTLE TIME.
YEAH, WELL, TIMES UP, HE'S HERE,
AND IT'S GONNA BE A LONG SUMMER IF THIS KEEPS UP.
WELL, WHAT DOES HE LIKE TO DO?
WELL, HE LIKES TO...
GET AS FAR WAY FROM ME AS POSSIBLE,
AND OLD WESTERNS, APPARENTLY.
JACK: OH, ANOTHER JOHN WAYNE FAN?
NO, MORE LIKE JACKIE CHAN.
HMM.
I GOT HIS ATTENTION FOR FIVE SECONDS
WHEN I TOLD HIM ABOUT THAT OLD MOVIE SET
UP AT COOK'S PASS.
LOU: WELL, THAT'S SOMETHING. YOU COULD TAKE HIM UP THERE.
CAN'T; THAT ROAD'S STILL CLOSED.
YOU CAN'T GET UP THERE.
NOT BY CAR.
OKAY.
HEY, TY. UH, THIS IS...
I GOTTA GO.
THIS IS WAYLON ROGERS.
HE'S BEEN ON THE CIRCUIT SINCE I STARTED.
GOOD TO MEET YOU.
CALEB AND I GOT TO TALKING OVER AT THE BULL PENS.
HE SAYS YOU CAN, UH, SUPER-CHARGE MY RIDE.
WELL, I CAN TAKE A LOOK AT IT.
WHAT KIND OF BIKE YOU GOT?
NOT A BIKE.
(ENGINE RUMBLES)
CALEB: (LAUGHS)
WHAT IS THAT?
IT'S A BATHTUB ON WHEELS.
WHAT, ARE YOU BLIND OR SOMETHING?
CALEB: HE'S A RODEO CLOWN.
I NEED TO JUMP THIS SUCKER OFF A THREE-FOOT RAMP,
OVER A TANK FULL OF PIRANHAS.
PIRANHAS?
WELL, ACTUALLY, IT'S GOLD FISH,
BUT THE CROWD'S TOO FAR AWAY TO NOTICE.
YOU MOUNTED A BATHTUB ON AN ATV CHASSIS.
AND HOW FAST DO YOU WANT THIS TO GO?
FAST ENOUGH TO JUMP SIX FEET.
YOU WANT THIS TO JUMP SIX FEET? (CELL PHONE RINGS)
YEAH. ARE YOU CRAZY?
THAT'S WHAT MY PSYCHIATRIST SAID,
SO I TOLD HIM I WANTED A SECOND OPINION.
HE SAYS, "OKAY, YOU'RE UGLY TOO." HEH.
TOUGH CROWD.
THINK YOU CAN DO IT?
UH, YEAH, I'LL GIVE IT A SHOT.
AWESOME! HEY, DOUGIE,
THE BOXERS WERE S'POSED TO HAVE THE POLKA DOTS, NOT MY CAPE.
THANKS FOR THE REFERRAL, MAN,
BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE TALKING BIKES,
NOT BATHTUBS.
FIGURED YOU'D JUST LIKE THE CHALLENGE.
SO WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT THE BULL PENS ANYWAY?
YOU'RE NOT THINKING OF UH...
AGH! WHY NOT, MAN?
TALK TO ANY BULL RIDER,
THEY'LL TELL YA IT'S THE BEST RUSH THERE IS.
WHAT ABOUT BRONCS?
MM. I'VE BEEN DOING IT FOR A LONG TIME.
TIME FOR A NEW CHALLENGE, YOU KNOW?
TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL.
WAYLON: WHAT PART OF "CARRIE UNDERWOOD LOOK-ALIKE"
DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?
DINNER WAS AMAZING.
SURPRISED YOU CAN TASTE IT YOU ATE IT SO FAST.
I HAVE TO ASK... UH, WHAT'S UP WITH THE GOAT?
WHAT?
HE GOT ME A GOAT.
TO PRACTICE HIS ROPING.
A GOAT FOR ROPING?
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I STARTED ON - A GOAT.
(LAUGHS)
TIM: AND I GOT BUCKLES FOR ROPING AT EVERY MAJOR RODEO,
SO... TRY BEATING THAT, BUDDY.
WELL, MAYBE I COULD,
BUT I'M GONNA STICK WITH JUST ONE EVENT.
WELL, I'VE GOT A PRETTY GOOD TRACK RECORD IN BRONCS TOO.
CALEB: AH. WELL, I'M ACTUALLY SWITCHING TO BULLS.
WHOA.
YOU KNOW, BULL RIDERS ARE LIKE THE TOUGHEST GUYS OUT THERE.
MALLORY: YEAH. NOTHING SAYS TOUGH LIKE A FULL BODY CAST.
SHANE: HEY, DID YOU EVER RIDE BULLS?
TIM: YUP. ONCE, AND ONE TIME WAS ENOUGH.
ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WAS A LITTLE MORE STUPID THAN TOUGH.
CALEB, HAVE YOU ACTUALLY RIDDEN A BULL YET?
NO. BUT, UH, MAYBE TOMORROW.
REALLY? CAN I COME WATCH?
TIM: ACTUALLY, I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU.
NOT A GOAT.
IT'S A TRIP, ON HORSEBACK.
REALLY.
LIKE... JUST THE TWO OF US?
AND ALSO, I HAVE A GOOD IDEA.
AMY AND LOU SHOULD COME.
UM...
A FAMILY TRIP - ALL THREE OF MY KIDS -
FIRST TIME.
REALLY, REALLY FUN.
LOU.
LOU, NOW IT WAS YOUR IDEA TO VISIT THE MOVIE SET
IN THE FIRST PLACE. YEAH, DAD,
I SAID YOU SHOULD TAKE SHANE.
YOU KNOW, THIS TRIP SHOULD BE THE TWO OF YOU
SO YOU CAN GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER.
WHAT'S SO WRONG WITH ME
WANTING TO TAKE MY DAUGHTERS TOO?
YOU JUST WANT US THERE AS A BUFFER
BECAUSE YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH HIM.
I DON'T WANNA GO, WITH HIM, ALONE.
YOU HAVE TO COME. PLEASE?
I CAN'T.
YOU KNOW, PETER'S AWAY AT A JOB INTERVIEW
AND I HAVE TO WATCH KATIE.
LOU, THAT'S WHAT YOU PAY ME FOR.
SERIOUSLY, GO HAVE SOME FUN.
PLEASE.
COVERED.
AMY'S COMING!
TIM: REALLY? GREAT.
OKAY, SO, EVERYBODY IN?
OKAY. I'M IN.
(LAUGHS HAPPILY) OKAY, THIS...
THIS IS GONNA BE SO MUCH FUN.
IT'LL BE LIKE OUR OLD FAMILY VACATIONS.
GREAT... JUST LIKE ONE OF THOSE.
(ROOSTER CROWS)
(HORSES SNORT AND NICKER)
SHANE: OH, OH, AMY.
UM, CAN YOU SHOW ME WHERE TO TIE OFF MY ROPE?
OH, WHY DON'T YOU ASK DAD? HE'S THE ROPING EXPERT.
TIM: OH, YEAH. LET YOUR DAD HELP YA.
OKAY, WHAT WERE YOU GONNA DO THERE?
HERE, I'LL SHOW YA.
YOU NEVER WANNA PUT THIS AT THE BACK
'CAUSE YOU MIGHT GET YOUR FOOT CAUGHT IN IT.
HERE, MOVE OUT OF THE WAY. I'M GONNA SHOW YOU.
YOU JUST WANNA KEEP IT UP IN FRONT, LIKE THIS.
WRAP IT A COUPLE TIMES OVER THE HORN,
THEN IT'S OUTTA YOUR WAY.
NOW, IF YOU'RE IN ROPING COMPETITION,
YOU'LL PROBABLY WANNA DALLY IT
AROUND THE HORN A COUPLE TIMES.
OKAY, I'VE LINED UP ALL THE PRE-PUMPED MILK
ON THE SECOND SHELF.
AND DO NOT, I REPEAT,
DO NOT WARM THEM UP IN THE MICROWAVE.
OKAY, I DID THAT LIKE ONE TIME.
AND REMEMBER TO CHECK THE TEMPERATURE ON THE...
INSIDE OF MY WRIST. I'VE DONE THIS BEFORE.
OKAY, WHAT ELSE?
LOTION.
KATIE: (COOING)
HELLO!
HI! LOOK WHO'S AWAKE.
LOOK WHO'S AWAKE. MUAH!
OKAY.
I JUST BOUGHT THIS.
YOU NEED TO USE IT EVERY TIME YOU CHANGE HER.
OKAY? GOT IT.
REALLY? WHAT?
OKAY, I FORGET SOMETIMES.
WELL, DON'T. SHE COULD GET A RASH.
UH, WHAT ELSE? OH! HERE.
KEEP THIS STUFFY RIGHT HERE,
WHERE SHE CAN SEE IT ALL THE TIME.
OKAY?
SHE JUST LOVES IT.
THEY'RE READY TO GO.
OH MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M LEAVING HER.
MALLORY: COME ON, LOU, YOU'VE LEFT HER A WHOLE NIGHT BEFORE.
YEAH, BUT THAT WAS JUST AT THE DUDE RANCH.
THIS TIME I'M GONNA BE AWAY.
LIKE HOURS AWAY.
JACK: SHE'LL BE IN GREAT HANDS WITH MALLORY,
AND I'LL BE HERE TO HELP HER OUT.
SO GO HAVE SOME FUN.
IT'S JUST A RIDE.
OKAY.
HERE YOU GO.
(MOANS, RELUCTANT)
(SIGHS)
TIM: ALL RIGHT! LET'S HIT THE HAPPY TRAIL!
AMY: (LAUGHS) SEE YA, GUYS.
MALLORY: BYE.
LOU: MALLORY, REMEMBER, BEFORE YOU GIVE HER A NAP-
READ TWO BOOKS.
RIGHT. AND THEN YOU HAVE TO SING-
"TWINKLE, TWINKLE" AND "BAH BAH BLACK SHEEP."
I KNOW.
LOU: EXACTLY. BUT REMEMBER TO PUT HER IN THE CRIB
BEFORE YOU START SINGING,
BECAUSE OTHERWISE SHE'S JUST GONNA WAKE UP-
YOU'RE TOO FAR AWAY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
JUST NOD YOUR HEAD, MALLORY.
JUST KEEP NODDING.
LOU: OH-OH-OH! AND GIVE HER THE PINK SOOTHER,
AND HER BLUE KITTY BLANKET.
IT'S IN THE BASKET... (VOICE TRAILS OFF)
SORAYA: SO WHAT IS THIS, LIKE THE FIFTH DAY IN A ROW?
AMY TOLD ME YOU CAN COOK.
YEAH, BUT I LIKE BEING COOKED FOR EVEN BETTER.
SORAYA, I NEED A COFFEE, QUICK, AND STRONG.
LIKE ROCKETFUEL STRONG.
SPECIAL OCCASION?
YEAH, I MIGHT BE RIDING MY FIRST BULL TODAY.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
YES, I AM.
YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD COME OUT AND WATCH.
SHOULDN'T YOU BE WORKING ON THE BATHTUB?
I'M ON IT, MAN. I GOT IT.
THANKS A LOT.
(DINER DOORS OPEN)
LONG STORY. DON'T ASK.
SO BULLS... THAT'S PRETTY CRAZY.
YEAH, THAT'S 'CAUSE CALEB IS CRAZY.
YEAH, AND RECKLESS, EVEN FOR A COWBOY.
I MEAN, EVERYTHING IS FULL THROTTLE WITH THAT GUY.
HE COULD REALLY GET HURT OUT THERE.
SO, MAYBE YOU SHOULD, YOU KNOW, TALK TO HIM.
WELL, WHY DON'T YOU TALK TO HIM?
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT HIM TO GET THE WRONG IDEA.
I CARE ABOUT CALEB.
I JUST DON'T... "CARE" ABOUT CALEB,
AND... ANYWAY, I THOUGHT HE'D LISTEN
TO AN EX-BULL RIDER.
(SNORTS) MORE LIKE A ONE TIME,
THREE SECOND EX-BULL-RIDING FOOL.
AUSTIN: (YELLING LOUDLY) SORAYA!
TOILET'S OVERFLOWING AGAIN
AND THE FLOOR'S LIKE TOTALLY COVERED IN-
THANK YOU, AUSTIN. COME HERE!
COME HERE FASTER.
NEXT TIME THAT HAPPENS, USE YOUR INDOOR VOICE.
10-4.
SORRY.
(CLEARS THROAT)
(STREAM BABBLES LOUDLY, BIRDS CHIRP)
(HORSES WHINNY)
(WATER SPLASHES)
(HORSE NICKERS AND WHINNIES)
AMY: HEY, SHANE, YOU OKAY?
SHANE: YEAH.
LOU: WHOA! EASY, BOY.
TIM: GREAT VIEW, HUH?
WAYLON: YOU'RE UP, CALEB.
CHAD: LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT.
WAYLON: COME ON.
COME ON, STAY OVER TOP OF THE ROPE!
WAYLON: LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT!
CHAD: YOU GOT TO HANG ON WITH YOUR FEET!
(GRUNTS)
WOW. IMPRESSIVE.
ALMOST FOUR SECONDS THAT TIME.
CALEB: YEAH, WELL, I'VE NEVER BEEN MUCH FOR BARRELS.
I'D RATHER JUST TRY THE REAL THING.
SORRY, MAN, NOT YET.
ALL RIGHT.
YOU NEED TO QUIT SPURRING LIKE YOU'RE ON A BRONC.
OKAY, NO SPURRING.
SO HAS TY FIGURED IT OUT YET?
YOU JUST BROUGHT IT TO HIM YESTERDAY.
YEAH, WELL, I LEAVE FOR THE RODEO TOMORROW.
WE BETTER DO A DROP-BY.
SURE. BUT YOU GOTTA BUCK ME OFF FIRST.
WAYLON: DEAL.
(BARREL CLANKS LOUDLY) COWBOYS: WHOA!
(CALEB GRUNTS, COWBOYS LAUGH)
YEAH, PRETTY FUNNY.
LOU: THANK GOD WE MADE IT OVER THAT RIDGE.
TIM: OH, COME ON,
WE USED TO COME UP HERE ALL THE TIME.
FAMILY RIDES, REMEMBER?
LOU: THAT'S WHY I WAS HAVING SERIOUS DEJA VU.
THAT'S WHERE YOU TOLD ME THAT CRAZY STORY
ABOUT A GUY GETTING MAULED BY A BEAR.
THAT'S A TRUE STORY.
YEAH, IT SCARED ME OUT OF MY WITS.
YOU REMEMBER THAT, AMY?
AMY: WHAT? NO. I... I DON'T THINK SO.
(STAMMERS) DO YOU REMEMBER THAT VIEW?
WELL, THAT WOULD'VE BEEN A PRETTY DANGEROUS RIDGE
FOR A FIVE-YEAR-OLD, DAD.
YEAH.
YEAH, I GUESS IT PROBABLY WAS BEFORE YOUR TIME.
LOU: OKAY, WE'RE WAY BEHIND SCHEDULE.
MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST START HEADING BACK
BEFORE WE START LOSING LIGHT.
NO, WE'RE ALMOST THERE.
IT'S JUST UP OVER THE RISE.
THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID THE LAST 10 TIMES WE CAME OVER A RIDGE,
OR AROUND A BEND, OR-
ADMIT IT, WE'RE LOST. I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN.
YOU KNOW, JUST LIKE ALL OF THOSE FAMILY TRIPS.
WE WOULD SPEND THE WHOLE DAY
LOOKING FOR SOME STUPID ARMY FORT,
OR A GOPHER MUSEUM,
OR THAT TOWN STATUE OF TWO GIANT POTATOES
DRESSED UP LIKE FARMERS.
HEY! LOOK AT THIS!
OH, JUST OVER THE RISE?
NOW THIS IS COOL. (CLUCKS TONGUE)
TIM: "COOL." HA!
(GALLOPING HOOFBEATS)
TIM: (CHUCKLES)
SHANE: COME ON, AMY! LET'S GO.
AMY: (LAUGHS)
TIM: YEAH, YOU GUYS GO AHEAD.
I'LL GET THE HORSES.
HEY, THERE'S A JAIL IN THERE.
(HALF LAUGHS)
DAMMIT. THERE'S NO RECEPTION, DAD.
IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO KATIE...
OKAY, CALM DOWN. YOU CAN USE MY PHONE.
THAT ARCHAIC FLIP PHONE YOU REFUSE TO UPGRADE.
I'M SURE IT WORKS JUST GREAT OUT HERE
IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.
IT MAY NOT LOOK PRETTY, BUT I HAVE BARS...
I HAVE... A BAR.
(PHONE BEEPS)
OKAY, COME ON, BE QUICK.
OKAY, THIS IS LIKE A FAMILY TRIP...
YES. ONE SECOND.
OKAY.
MALLORY.
ARE YOU THERE?
I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
OKAY, NOW I CAN HEAR YOU.
HOW'S KATIE?
MALLORY? HELLO?
DAMMIT.
(MOANS)
(DOOR CREAKS OPEN)
YES! BARS.
(SIGHS)
MALLORY! OH! THANK GOD.
OKAY, HOW'S KATIE? (LOST CALL TONE BEEPS)
MALLORY?
(EXASPERATED SIGH)
(WRENCH CRANKS)
TY: JUST PUTTING ON SOME NEW SPARK PLUGS.
I FOUND A WAY TO GET RAM AIR THROUGH THE CARB.
WAYLON: WILL SHE MAKE THE JUMP?
TY: (SIGHS, RELUCTANT) I DON'T KNOW, MAN.
I DON'T THINK IT'S GONNA HAPPEN.
IT'S NOT REALLY BUILT FOR THAT KIND OF THING,
YOU KNOW. YEAH, WELL PEOPLE SAY PIGS CAN'T FLY,
BUT I USED TO DO THIS BIT WITH A CANNON
AND A VIETNAMESE POT BELLY
THAT PROVES, WITH SUFFICIENT THRUST,
PIG'LL FLY JUST FINE.
(LAUGHS) YOU KNOW, I COULD PUT A STRAIGHT PIPE
ON THE EXHAUST,
BUT THEN YOUR ENGINE'S GONNA SOUND LIKE A CHAINSAW.
HANG ON. ARE YOU TELLING ME
THAT YOU CAN MAKE THIS FASTER AND LOUDER?
SLAP ON THE DAMN PIPE.
(WAYLON'S PHONE RINGS)
I GOTTA TAKE THIS.
HEY, DOUGIE.
YEAH, I'M WORKING ON A NEW GAG.
HERE'S WHAT I NEED:
A SPEEDO, TAR, FEATHERS,
AN EXPLODING CIGAR AND A TRAINED CHIMP -
ONE THAT DON'T SCARE EASY.
(HALF LAUGHS) IS THIS GUY FOR REAL?
HE'S A RODEO CLOWN, MAN.
THEY'RE A... THEY'RE A SPECIAL BREED,
BUT THEY'RE A BULL RIDER'S BEST FRIEND, SO...
HEY, I GOTTA ASK, MAN,
THIS SUDDEN INTEREST IN BULLS...
HAS IT GOT ANYTHING TO DO WITH ASHLEY?
YEAH, 'CAUSE I'M THE FIRST IDIOT TO JUMP ON A BULL
TO IMPRESS A GIRL.
YEAH.
BUT, YES, ASHLEY WOULD HATE THE IDEA.
IT'D MAKE HER CRAZY. HELL, IF SHE FOUND OUT,
SHE'D PROBABLY DRIVE ALL THE WAY BACK
JUST TO WRING MY NECK. SO TRUST ME,
THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ASHLEY.
OKAY.
OH MY GOSH, SHE'S DRIVING ME NUTS.
THE BABY?
NO. LOU.
SHE CAN'T EVEN GET RECEPTION
AND SHE'S STILL TRYING TO CALL ME.
I MEAN, WHERE'S THE TRUST?
SHE WOULDN'T HAVE GONE IF SHE DIDN'T TRUST YOU.
AND THAT'S WHY SHE'S ON ME FOR EVERY LITTLE MISTAKE?
NOT THAT I'M MAKING ANY.
EVEN IF I WAS, WHICH I'M TOTALLY NOT,
HOW WOULD SHE EVEN KNOW THAT I'M MESSING UP?
(PHONE RINGS)
WELL, WHY DON'T YOU ASK HER YOURSELF.
HEY, LOU.
STILL NO RECEPTION.
OKAY. LOU?
IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, EVERYTHING'S GOOD HERE.
KATIE'S JUST WAKING UP.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
SHE'S THROWING UP?
KATIE'S SICK?
MALLORY?
MALLORY!
I'M LOSING YOU AGAIN.
REALLY, REALLY BAD CONNECTION.
WHAT'S REALLY BAD?
DOES SHE HAVE A FEVER?
OH MY GOD, SHE HAS A FEVER DOESN'T SHE?
OKAY, MALLORY,
YOU NEED TO RUN A LUKEWARM BATH.
OKAY? MALLORY!
(LOST CALL TONE BEEPS) UGH! MALLORY?
(SIGHS)
WHAT, IS THAT OLD BACK INJURY ACTING UP, DAD?
TIM: NO. NO, NO, I'M JUST A LITTLE STIFF.
WELL, NO WONDER, AFTER THAT RIDE TODAY.
SHANE: WHOA!
THE BARS ON THIS WINDOW'S REALLY MADE OF IRON.
THEY SURE ARE.
I BET YOU WISH YOU HADN'T ROBBED THAT STAGECOACH NOW,
HUH, FELLA?
NOT MY JURISDICTION. SO, COOL YOUR HEELS.
UH... THAT SOUNDED LIKE IT ACTUALLY LOCKED.
SURE DID. HE'S BEEN INCARCERATED.
(DOOR RATTLES)
NO, NO, I THINK IT IS.
TRUST ME, IT'S NOT LOCKED, YOU GUYS.
AMY: DAD.
(DOOR RATTLES)
DAD.
IT'S ACTUALLY LOCKED.
IT'S PROBABLY JUST STUCK. GET OUTTA THE WAY.
(AMY SIGHS, ANNOYED)
(GRUNTS OF EFFORT)
UNGH!
AGH!
(GRUNTS AND GROANS IN PAIN)
DAD, WHAT DID YOU DO?
DAD: OH! MY BAD SHOULDER.
HE LOCKED ME IN HERE.
YOU DID WHAT?
I DIDN'T DO IT ON PURPOSE.
OKAY, KEYS. LET'S LOOK FOR THE KEYS.
THEY MUST BE AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE
HANGING FROM A HOOK.
TIM: OH YEAH, I'M SURE THERE'S AN EXTRA SET OF KEYS
LYING AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.
WELL, GREAT.
HOW'RE WE SUPPOSED TO GET HIM OUT THEN?
MY GOD, DAD, WHAT DID YOU DO?
I WAS TRYING TO HAVE A LITTLE FUN.
JUST CALM DOWN.
I'M REALLY STUCK IN HERE?
NOT FOR LONG.
LOU: DAD, COME ON. THIS IS CRAZY.
YEAH. SO CRAZY IT JUST MIGHT WORK.
AMY: OR IT JUST MIGHT NOT.
OH, IT'S BEEN DONE IN DOZENS OF WESTERNS.
LOU: YEAH, WITH STUNT GUYS AND FAKE BARS,
AND, DAD, WE HAVE TO GET HOME.
TIM: IT'S GONNA WORK.
TIM: HERE WE GO. SHANE: WAIT! DON'T DO IT.
DON'T WORRY, I'M GONNA GET YOU OUTTA THERE, LITTLE BUDDY.
NO. SERIOUSLY, STOP!
SHANE, STAND BACK FROM THE WINDOW.
H'YAH! HA!
(HORSE WHINNES, TIM GROANS IN PAIN)
AMY: DAD! LOU: ARE YOU OKAY?
LOU: ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? TIM: YES, I'M FINE.
TWEAKED THE KNEE A BIT THERE.
SHANE, HOW DID YOU GET OUT?
THE KEYS.
THEY WERE UNDER THE MATTRESS IN THE CELL.
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?
I DID. I SAID STOP, TWICE.
OH...
SO IT SOUNDS LIKE CALEB'S GOING THROUGH WITH IT,
AND HE MADE A SPECIAL POINT OF TELLING ME
IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ASHLEY.
SO IN OTHER WORDS...
IT HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH ASHLEY.
AUSTIN: EXCUSE US.
(TOILET THUDS ONTO FLOOR)
YOUR TOILET'S INSTALLED.
WHERE DO YOU WANT THE OLD ONE?
UH, NOT HERE.
TAKE IT OUT BACK, NOW!
(COOING)
MALLORY: HERE YOU GO, KATIE. A NICE CLEAN DIAPER.
NO WEDGIE, LOTS OF LOTION.
YOUR AUNTIE MALLORY LEARNS QUICK, DOESN'T SHE?
CAN YOU SAY "AUNTIE"?
(COOING)
YOU'RE A TICKLISH LITTLE ONE, AREN'T YOU?
YOU GOT TICKLISH FEET?
(KATIE GIGGLES)
DO YOU WANT YOUR DOGGY?
ARE YOU SURE WANT HIM?
HE MIGHT WANNA TICKLE YOU TOO.
WHAT'S THE MATTER? IS IT KATIE?
NO, SHE'S FINE. IT'S THIS.
YOU STILL THINK LOU TRUSTS ME?
I DON'T GET WHAT A MUTT IN COVERALLS
HAS TO DO WITH TRUST? THIS A LENS.
THIS IS A CAMERA.
THIS IS A VIDEO CARD. IT'S A NANNY-CAM.
A NANNY-WHAT?
IT'S FOR SPYING, JACK, ON ME!
OKAY, THAT SHOULD HOLD.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
COME ON. LOU, WHERE'S SHANE?
DAMMIT! SOMEONE'S GOTTA FIND HIM.
I GOTTA GET HOME. KATIE'S SICK, I THINK.
WELL, WE ARE LOSING THE LIGHT.
COME ON, DAD.
BUT YOU CAN'T EVEN GET UP.
DAD, HOW ARE YOU GONNA RIDE?
I'LL SUCK IT UP. YEAH, HE'LL SUCK IT UP.
EVEN IF YOU MANAGE TO GET ON THE HORSE,
IT'S GONNA TAKE US TWICE AS LONG TO RIDE BACK.
AND ON THAT TRAIL? COME ON.
AMY, PLEASE DON'T TELL ME...
LOU, WE'RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT HOME BEFORE SUNSET.
WE'RE STUCK HERE FOR THE NIGHT.
UGH! DAMN!
YEAH.
WOULD YOU JUST PUT MALLORY ON THE PHONE PLEASE?
SHE WON'T COME TO THE PHONE? WHY?
(LOST CALL TONE BEEPS) GRAMPA?
HELLO?
(LOU SIGHS, FRUSTRATED)
SHANE: WOULDN'T IT JUST BE EASIER TO TEXT THEM?
LOU: YEAH, YOU'D THINK,
EXCEPT MY DAD'S TOO CHEAP TO PAY FOR TEXT.
SHANE: SO WERE ALL YOUR FAMILY TRIPS THIS LAME?
YOU REALLY DON'T GET IT, DO YOU?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WHY DO YOU THINK WE CAME OUT HERE?
I DON'T KNOW.
HEY, I DIDN'T ASK FOR ANY OF THIS.
MY DAD JUST WANTS TO IMPRESS YOU, OKAY?
SO MAYBE YOU COULD LOSE THE WHOLE
TOO-COOL-FOR-SCHOOL ATTITUDE
AND GIVE HIM A CHANCE.
I MEAN, IF YOU DIDN'T WANNA BE AROUND HIM,
WHY DID YOU COME OUT HERE FOR THE SUMMER?
BECAUSE MY MOM WORKS ALL THE TIME,
AND WE MOVE AROUND A LOT, SO...
I GUESS I THOUGHT IT'D BE BETTER
THAN SPENDING IT BY MYSELF.
(GROANS IN PAIN)
OH, GOOD, YOU FOUND SOME.
(WOOD CLATTERS)
SO WHAT'S YOUR SECRET?
WHAT SECRET?
WHY DO YOU GET ALONG WITH SHANE
SO MUCH BETTER THAN I DO?
WELL, THERE IS NO SECRET, DAD.
IT'S NOT AS COMPLICATED FOR US.
HE WAS SURPRISED TO FIND OUT
THAT HE HAD A SISTER,
BUT HE'S KNOWN HIS WHOLE LIFE
THAT HIS DAD WAS OUT THERE SOMEWHERE.
WELL, YOU'D THINK HE'D BE HAPPY WHEN HE FINALLY FOUND HIM.
HE'S HAD A LONG TIME TO DREAM UP
WHAT HIS DAD WAS REALLY GONNA BE LIKE.
HE PROBABLY HAD A LOT OF EXPECTATIONS.
(WOUNDED) OH.
SO THE REALITY DOESN'T STACK UP TO THE FANTASY.
NO.
DAD, IT'S NOT LIKE THAT.
IT'S JUST...
IT'S GONNA TAKE SOME TIME TO ADJUST,
AND I GUESS I CAN RELATE
'CAUSE I DON'T HAVE LOU'S MEMORIES OF YOU
WHEN I WAS GROWING UP,
AND...
WHEN I WAS SHANE'S AGE, I WAS STILL DREAMING
ABOUT WHAT MY DAD WAS REALLY LIKE.
HEY, CALEB, YOU WANNA GIVE ME A HAND?
CALEB: (SIGHS) OKAY.
I GOT A TUB IN MY TRUCK.
IS WAYLON GONNA BE HAPPY?
HOW FAST DOES IT GO?
FAST ENOUGH.
ALL RIGHT.
CALEB AND TY: (EXCITED) WOO-HOO! WOO-HOO!
(TUB RUMBLES, CALEB AND TY LAUGH)
CALEB: WOO-HOO!
YEAH!
TY: WOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!
(LAUGHING)
SO, WHAT'D YOU THINK?
I THINK IT'S AWESOME. I KNOW, EH?
AND I THINK IT'S MY TURN.
OH, I DON'T KNOW, MAN.
THE STEERING'S PRETTY TOUGH ON THIS GUY, SO...
OH YEAH, 'CAUSE YOU'RE SOME KINDA
BATHTUB DRIVING PROFESSIONAL.
COME ON...
TY: I DON'T KNOW.
CALEB AND TY: (EXCITED WHOOPS AND LAUGHTER)
WOOOO-HOO-HOO!
HERE WE GO!
WOO-HOO-WOO! YEAH!
(LAUGHTER)
EASY, EASY! THE BRAKE! THE BRAKE!
CALEB: WHAT? TY: THE BRAKE! PULL THE BRAKE!
CALEB: I KNOW! I'M DOING GREAT!
TY: NO! AGGGGHHHHH!
(LOUD CRASH)
CALEB AND TY: (GRUNTING AND GROANING)
CALEB: (GRUNTS AND MOANS)
(TUB HISSES)
WAYLON'S GONNA KILL YOU.
(FIRE CRACKLES)
YOU GONNA BE OKAY
LOOKING AFTER THE BABY ALL NIGHT?
MALLORY: YEAH. BUT THIS IS THE LAST TIME.
I'M NOT BABYSITTING FOR LOU ANYMORE.
KATIE'S SURE GONNA MISS YOU.
I'LL COME VISIT HER, BUT NOT WHEN LOU'S AROUND.
MAYBE YOU OUGHTA JUST TALK TO LOU
BEFORE YOU MAKE ANY RASH DECISIONS.
YOU TWO HAVE HAD YOUR MOMENTS,
BUT YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN VERY CLOSE.
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.
(COYOTE HOWLS, OWL HOOTS, CRICKETS CHIRP)
LOU: I HAD RECEPTION LIKE TWO MINUTES AGO.
THIS IS MADDENING!
YEAH, TELL ME ABOUT IT. CAN I TRY?
LOU: YEAH. GOOD LUCK.
LOU: AMY, WHAT'RE YOU DOING?
AMY: OH, JUST CONSIDER THIS AN INTERVENTION.
LOU: GIVE IT BACK.
AMY: NO, LOU. YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T GET THROUGH.
LOU: AMY, GIVE IT BACK.
AMY: KATIE IS FINE.
SHE IS WITH MALLORY AND GRAMPA.
LOU: GIVE IT BACK.
AMY: LOU, I WILL PUT IT IN THE FIRE.
YOU TWO, PLEASE STOP!
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A FUN FAMILY OUTING!
LOU: OH YEAH, DAD? WHAT PART WAS THAT?
OH, OH, PARDON ME
FOR WANTING TO GO ON A TRIP WITH MY THREE KIDS
FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER.
YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A BIG DEAL,
BUT I GUESS...
GUESS I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO THOUGHT THAT.
(COYOTE CRIES IN THE DISTANCE)
WHAT WAS THAT?
COYOTE. THEY RARELY EAT PEOPLE.
NO, I THINK JUST SAW SOMETHING OUTSIDE.
TIM: IT'S THE LIGHT FROM THE FIRE,
IT'S PLAYING TRICKS WITH YOUR EYES.
I HEARD SOMETHING.
(HORSES WHINNY OUTSIDE)
I THINK THE HORSES...
(HORSES WHINNY)
OH YES, OF COURSE,
BECAUSE HORSES DETECT A PRESENCE...
LIKE THE GHOST OF DIGGER MCKEE.
WHO'S DIGGER MCKEE?
THE GUY WHO GOT MAULED BY A BEAR.
HERE WE GO.
YOU KNOW, THEY SAY THAT JUST BEFORE HE DIED,
HE SHOT THE BEAR,
AND THEY BOTH BIT THE DUST AT EXACTLY THE SAME MOMENT.
(FOOTSTEPS THUMP ON THE VERANDAH)
AMY: DAD...
AND THEIR SOULS BECAME INTERTWINED.
LOU: DAD...
TIM: SO AMONGST US WALKS A SPIRIT WHO IS HALF MAN,
HALF BEAST...
DAD! AW, YOU JUST CALLED ME-
AGGHHHH!
(GROANS IN PAIN)
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?
THIS IS PRIVATE PROPERTY.
ARE YOU OKAY, BUDDY?
NO.
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU GUYS?
YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'VE SEEN A GHOST OR SOMETHING.
TIM: THAT WOULD BE YOU.
WHAT? I'M THE CARETAKER OF THIS SET.
I SAW THE SALOON LIT UP FROM MY PLACE UP ON THE HILL.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE A BUNCH OF TEENAGERS
HAVING ANOTHER PARTY DOWN HERE.
I'M SORRY, WE'RE TRESPASSING.
WE'RE GONNA BE OUTTA HERE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.
BEARDED MAN: THIS AIN'T A CAMPGROUND.
WELL, I'M A LITTLE RACKED UP HERE.
YEAH, AND WE ONLY HAD A COUPLE OF HOURS
UNTIL SUNSET.
AND WE LIVE ALL THE WAY IN HUDSON.
HUDSON? IT'S ONLY AN HOUR AND A HALF FROM HERE.
TRUST ME, IT'S NOT.
WELL, IT IS IF YOU TAKE THE FLATS.
YOU DIDN'T COME BY...
(LAUGHS)
YOU CAME BY COOK'S PASS? (LAUGHING HARD)
IT'S LUCKY YOU GOT HERE IN ONE PIECE.
(LAUGHING)
THANKS FOR CHECKING IN.
(LAUGHING)
(FORCED CHUCKLE, SIGHS, DEFEATED)
LOU: 'MORNING!
OKAY, SLEEPYHEADS, SUN'S UP! COME ON!
(CLANKS CAN)
LET'S HIT THE ROAD.
(GROANS)
HOW'S YOUR KNEE?
(GROANS)
IT'S PRETTY SWOLLEN.
CAN YOU RIDE?
I DON'T KNOW.
SO WHAT, WE HAVE TO GET YOU AIRLIFTED OUT OF HERE?
NO, I'M NOT CALLING IN SOME RESCUE TEAM
FOR A BUM KNEE.
SO WHAT, YOU GONNA HOP HOME ON ONE LEG?
(GROANING)
HEY, I'VE GOT AN IDEA.
THERE'S THIS WHOLE PILE OF WOOD
OVER BY THE BLACKSMITH'S.
I'M GONNA NEED SOME HELP.
(GROANS)
WILL YOU SIT DOWN? YOU'RE MAKING ME NERVOUS.
I'M GOING OVER EVERYTHING I HAVE TO SAY TO LOU.
I'M AFRAID I'M GONNA CLAM UP WHEN WE'RE FACE-TO-FACE.
SINCE WHEN DO YOU HAVE TROUBLE EXPRESSING YOURSELF?
WHEN I'M THIS UPSET.
MAYBE I SHOULD JUST SEND AN EMAIL.
NO. NO, THAT'S NOT THE WAY
TO DEAL WITH SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
WHATEVER WORDS YOU CHOOSE,
LOU NEEDS TO HEAR 'EM COME OUTTA YOUR MOUTH.
TY: HEY, GUYS.
UM, SORRY, TO BREAK UP YOUR BREAKFAST THERE, JACK,
BUT I COULD REALLY USE YOUR HELP.
EVERYTHING OKAY?
YEAH, I JUST NEED TO REBUILD SOMETHING REALLY QUICKLY,
AND I COULD USE AN EXTRA PAIR OF HANDS.
OH, SURE. I CAN GIVE YOU A COUPLE OF HOURS.
WHAT'RE WE REBUILDING?
(GATE CRASHES OPEN)
(BULL SNORTS)
CHAD: ALL RIGHT, CALEB, YOU READY?
YOU GOT THAT?
ALL RIGHT?
GUY: HEY, CALEB, EASY...
(ROPE RASPS LOUDLY)
(BULL SNORTS HEAVILY)
(ROPE WHIPS THROUGH THE AIR)
CHAD: IT'S TIED DOWN. OKAY, WE'RE ALL SET.
(GATE BURSTS OPEN, BULL GRUNTS LOUDLY)
WAYLON: (UNCLEAR) IN YOUR FEET! (UNCLEAR) IN YOUR FEET!
COWBOYS: (ENCOURAGING SHOUTS)
WAYLON: STAY OVER YOUR ROPE! STAY OVER YOUR ROPE!
HEY, BULL!
(BULL GRUNTS WILDLY)
WAYLON: HEY, BULL! HEY, BULL! HEY, BULL! HEY, BULL!
H'YAH! I GOT HIM!
SEE YOU, BULL! GET OUTTA HERE.
(LAUGHS) THAT WAS AWESOME!
ARE YOU OKAY?
YEAH!
YOU KNOW HOW PEOPLE SAY YOUR CRAZY?
WELL, YOU'RE NOT. YOU'RE-
FEARLESS? NO, THAT'S NOT IT.
SUPER TALENTED. I WAS GONNA SAY-
AMAZING. PATHETIC.
CALEB, YOU ARE DOING THIS
FOR THE ATTENTION OF SOMEONE
WHO'S SO WRAPPED UP IN HERSELF,
SHE'S NOT EVEN GONNA NOTICE.
THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ASHLEY.
OKAY. JUST... JUST DON'T HURT YOURSELF.
DON'T GO BREAKING ANYTHING,
ESPECIALLY THAT BIG HEART OF YOURS.
NOT BAD FOR A BRONC RIDER.
THANKS.
OKAY, SO, UH,
I HELD UP MY END OF THE BARGAIN.
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH MY RIDE?
YEAH, WELL, UH...
THING IS...
CALEB: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
I'LL KILL HIM. YEAH, WELL, IT'S NOT ALL HIS FAULT.
HE WAS THE ONE DRIVING IT, RIGHT?
YOU KNOW, THAT'S NOT EXACTLY IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW.
WAYLON: YOU SMASHED UP MY RIDE?
EASY, NOW.
YOU THINK THAT TUB IS A JOKE?
THAT'S MY LIVELIHOOD.
LOOK, I'M REALLY SORRY, OKAY?
BUT I THINK I FIXED IT.
SO, JUST WAIT RIGHT HERE FOR A SECOND, OKAY?
TY FIND A NEW TUB?
NOT EXACTLY...
OH BOY.
(VEHICLE RUMBLES LOUDLY)
A TOILET.
YOU REPLACED MY TUB WITH A TOILET?
YOU BRILLIANT SON OF A GUN!
THAT IS AWESOME!
TY: YEAH!
CALEB: IMPRESSIVE.
WAYLON: YEAH!
(RECORD BUTTON CLICKS)
(SIGHS)
HEY, LOU.
I GUESS THIS IS LIKE MY RESIGNATION.
I JUST WANTED TO SAY THANK YOU FOR THE OPPORTUNITY
TO WORK FOR SUCH AN OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE,
MICRO-MANAGING, ANAL-RETENTIVE BOSS
WITH THE MOST INSANE EXPECTATIONS
AND STANDARDS.
NOW I KNOW, NO MATTER WHAT LIFE THROWS AT ME,
I CAN HANDLE IT,
BECAUSE I SURVIVED WORKING FOR LOU FLEMING-MORRIS.
(ON THE VERGE OF TEARS) ACTUALLY,
I SHOULD ALSO SAY,
NO MATTER HOW CRAZY IT'S BEEN WORKING FOR YOU,
I'VE ALWAYS RESPECTED YOU.
ALWAYS FELT LIKE YOU WERE A FRIEND,
LIKE WE WERE FAMILY.
BUT I GUESS I WAS JUST KIDDING MYSELF.
HOW COULD YOU SPY ON ME, LOU?
THAT'S SO NOT FAIR.
SO I WENT BACK TO MAGGIE'S
AND LUCKILY THE TOILET WAS STILL SITTING OUT BACK.
DID YOU CLEAN IT? NO.
LOU: GRAMPA!
DAD HURT HIS KNEE REALLY BAD.
WE NEED TO GET HIM TO A HOSPITAL.
SERIOUSLY? A TRAVOIS?
COULD THIS DAY GET ANY CRAZIER?
WAYLON: THIS IS AWESOME!
WHOA! SWEET!
WAYLON: WOO!
(LAUGHS EXCITEDLY)
GET ME OFF THIS THING!
WHERE IS SHE?
UH, IN THE NURSERY.
(NURSERY DOOR CREAKS OPEN)
(DOOR SHUTS)
SHE LOOKS FINE.
WHAT'RE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
(SIGHS)
STUPID PHONE CONNECTION.
HEY, SHE'S GONNA WANNA SEE HIM
WHEN SHE WAKES UP.
I KNOW HE LOOKS CREEPY, BUT SHE LOVES THIS GUY.
YEAH, WELL, YOU DIDN'T BUY IT FOR ITS LOOKS NOW, DID YOU?
NO. IT WAS A GIFT.
IT'S ONE OF THOSE STUPID NANNY-CAMS.
GOD, PEOPLE ARE SO PARANOID.
I WOULD NEVER USE ONE OF THESE,
BUT KATIE JUST LOVES HIM.
A NANNY-CAM, HUH?
GEE, I WONDER HOW IT WORKS?
THERE'S A RECORD BUTTON ON THE BACK HERE.
YOU KNOW, THIS WOULD BE REALLY EASY TO PRESS.
(GASPS) KATIE IS ALWAYS CUDDLING WITH THIS.
I WONDER IF SHE EVER ACCIDENTALLY RECORDED HERSELF.
WE SHOULD SEE IF THERE'S ANYTHING
ON THIS VIDEO RECORDER.
NO! I MEAN... LET ME.
I CAN JUST DOWNLOAD IT ON YOUR LAPTOP.
WHY DON'T WE JUST WATCH IT NOW?
YOU'VE HAD A LONG TRIP.
SERIOUSLY, I CAN JUST EDIT ALL THE GOOD BITS TOGETHER,
IF THERE'S EVEN ANYTHING ON HERE.
YOU'RE RIGHT. I SHOULD JUST CHILL,
HAVE A SHOWER WHILE KATIE'S STILL NAPPING.
(SIGHS)
OH.
AND, UH, THANK YOU, YOU KNOW, FOR EVERYTHING.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO WITHOUT YOU.
AMY: AND THEN THIS LIKE GIANT MAN-BEAR
COMES OUTTA THE DARKNESS.
A MAN-BEAR. WHAT IS A MAN-BEAR?
OKAY, HE WAS MORE LIKE...
A REALLY HAIRY FAT GUY.
TY: (LAUGHS)
YOU FLEMING'S ARE CRAZY.
I FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT.
I SHOULD PROBABLY GET GOING. (LAUGHS)
TY: I'LL SEE YOU LATER. AMY: YEAH.
HEY, DAD. WHAT'D THE DOC SAY?
AGH...
STRAINED A FEW LIGAMENTS.
NO TEARS THIS TIME.
SO I'M GUESSING THIS IS ANOTHER SURPRISE?
YEAH, WELL...
LET'S HOPE SHANE LIKES THIS ONE.
(STEER MOOS)
(TIM CHUCKLES AND GRUNTS IN PAIN)
HONEY,
I'M REAL SORRY ABOUT MISSING ALL THOSE YEARS
WHEN YOU WERE A KID.
DAD, THAT'S WATER WAY UNDER THE BRIDGE.
WE'RE IN A GOOD SPOT NOW, RIGHT?
WELL, YOU HAVE TO REMIND ME HOW WE GOT HERE AGAIN?
HOW DID I MANAGE TO MAKE UP FOR ALL THOSE YEARS?
YOU NEVER GAVE UP.
I LOVE YOU.
LOVE YOU, TOO.
SHANE: WHOA! YOU GOT A STEER!
HEY.
THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANNA PRACTICE YOUR ROPING
ON THAT GUY.
WAIT. REALLY?
(CHUCKLES)
WHAT ABOUT THE GOAT?
AH, YOU CAN KEEP HIM AS A PET.
YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH FOR THE REAL DEAL.
SO I'LL BET YOUR KNEE'S REALLY SORE.
NAH.
NOT AS BAD AS THE FIRST TIME I WRECKED IT BACK IN '83.
IT WAS '84.
WHAT?
YOU HURT IT BULLDOGGING AT GRANDE PRAIRIE IN '84.
I READ ABOUT IT ONLINE.
AND YOUR BACK INJURY
WAS FROM A NASTY BRONC NAMED NIGHT TRAIN
AT THE STAMPEDE IN '88.
(CHUCKLES)
I'M IMPRESSED.
BUT I NEVER READ ANYTHING ABOUT A SHOULDER INJURY.
YEAH, WELL, THAT'S 'CAUSE IT DIDN'T HAPPEN AT A RODEO.
GUNSHOT.
WAIT. REALLY?
YEAH. YEAH, REAL STANDOFF.
SOME OF THE MEANEST, ORNERIEST CATTLE RUSTLERS
YOU EVER MET IN THE WEST.
I DON'T TALK ABOUT IT MUCH...
THERE WERE A LOT OF RIFLES. AMY WAS SURROUNDED BY THEM;
THEY WERE ALL AIMED AT HER.
I HAD TO. AND THEN I DOVE.
DOVE IN FRONT OF A BULLET.
I HAD TO RUN 100 TO 150 YARDS - A SPRINT.
YEAH, I WON'T FORGET IT. (VOICE TRAILS OFF)