Y ON "HEARTLAND":
WHAT ARE YOU WORKIN' ON?
LET ME SEE!
"I AM A FINANCIAL ANALYST, BUT I AM ALSO A MOM 24-7 -
A SLEEP DEPRIVED, GUILT-RIDDEN MOM."
YEAH, I READ YOUR LATEST BLOG POST.
AS SOON AS I PUT IT UP I GOT, LIKE, 76 REPLIES.
I CAN'T BE BOTHERED TEACHING SOME CITY GIRL
HOW TO SIT ON A HORSE.
LOU: EVERYONE, TRICIA.
JACK: HI, AGAIN.
TIM: TRICIA, IS IT? TRICIA: YEAH.
TIM: TIM FLEMING. TRICIA: HI.
I'M THE FATHER OF THE GIRLS. I'LL BE TEACHING YOU TO RIDE.
♪♪
OKAY, BOY, LET'S GIVE THIS A TRY.
(HORSE WHINNIES AND SNORTS)
HEY!
WHAT'S UP?
WHAT'S GOING ON, BUD?
LOOK, THERE YOU GO.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S TRY THE OTHER ONE.
HEY!
WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?
TY: HEY, HOW'S IT GOIN'?
AMY: NOT GREAT.
I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON
WITH CALEB'S BARREL HORSE.
SINCE WHEN IS CALEB INTO BARREL RACING?
(CHUCKLES) HE'S NOT.
HE BOUGHT HIM OFF A GAL WHO JUST RETIRED.
HIS NAME'S HOTSHOT
AND HE'S GOTTA LOT OF MILES AND A LOTTA WINS,
BUT, SO FAR, I DON'T KNOW.
CALEB'S TRYING TO FLIP HIM, MAKE A GOOD BUCK.
SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
(SIGHS) WELL...
EVERYTIME I BRING HIM UP TO A BARREL,
HE JUST BLOWS OFF THE SIDE AND FREAKS OUT.
I GUESS IT'S BACK TO SQUARE ONE.
SOMEONE'S GONNA HAVE TO TAKE HIM
AROUND THE PATTERN AGAIN AND AGAIN
UNTIL HE GETS THE HANG OF IT.
AND YOU'RE THAT SOMEONE?
WELL, ACTUALLY, NOW THAT YOU'RE HERE,
MAYBE YOU COULD TRY?
AMY, I JUST PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER AT THE CLINIC.
YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?
TY, COME ON, PLEASE?
IT WOULD JUST REALLY HELP ME IF I COULD SEE HOW HE PERFORMS
FOR SOMEONE ELSE.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. WHERE'S CALEB ANYWAYS?
WHY ISN'T HE HERE HELPING YA?
AMY: WELL, HE'S IN TOWN... WORKING.
TY: FOR NICOLE?
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER, MUSIC PLAYING)
SALESWOMAN: WE MAKE THEM OURSELVES AND WE'RE SELLING...
WOMAN: HI!
CALEB: WELL, THAT WAS REAL GOOD.
WHY DON'T YOU HOP DOWN OFF OF THERE, CHAMP?
OH, LOOK AT YOU!
ALL RIGHT, BUCKAROOS, WHO'S NEXT FOR A RIDE
ON A REAL, LIVE, WORKIN' COW PONY?
BOY: IT'S ME! CALEB: LET'S DO IT.
LET'S JUMP ON UP. (GRUNTS)
YEAH, ALL RIGHT! (CHUCKLES)
(INSECTS BUZZ, FISHING LINE WHIPS)
JACK: OH, NOT BAD, NOT BAD. OKAY, LET ONE GO!
(FISHING LINE WHIRS)
PRETTY DARN GOOD FOR A FIRST TIME!
HERE, LET ME GIVE YA A HAND. OOH, NOT TOO FAR NOW!
GEORGIE: SO WHEN DO WE GET TO GO UP TO YOUR CABIN
TO CATCH SOME REAL FISH?
JACK: WELL, HOW ABOUT SOON AS YOU GET BACK FROM BANFF?
GEORGIE: (SIGHS) I WISH I DIDN'T HAVE TO GO.
I JUST DON'T GET IT.
WE ALREADY LIVE IN THE COUNTRY
AND I SEE THE MOUNTAINS EVERY DAY.
JACK: COME ON NOW, THAT'S BEAUTIFUL SCENERY,
YOU GET ENOUGH OF THAT. IT'S A NICE FAMILY VACATION.
YOU'LL PROBABLY SEE SOME ELK, MOUNTAIN GOATS,
MAYBE EVEN A BEAR OR TWO.
GEORGIE: IT SOUNDS OKAY, I GUESS.
YOU KNOW, SEEING THE BEAR PART, BUT...
IT'S JUST... I'D RATHER BE FISHING.
JACK: WELL, SPOKEN LIKE A TRUE FISHERMAN!
(CHUCKLING, FISHING LINE WHIPS)
GEORGIE: IMPRESSIVE!
JACK: THANK YOU.
TRICIA: SO HOW AM I DOING? I THINK I'M PRETTY GOOD, HUH?
TIM: WELL, YOU'RE A LITTLE TIGHT ON THE REINS STILL.
YOU'RE PULLING ON HIS MOUTH.
YOU KNOW, THEY HAVE SENSITIVE MOUTHS.
AND YOU DON'T NEED TO KICK HIM, JUST GIVE HIM A LITTLE SQUEEZE.
TRICIA: OKAY, COWBOY, EVERYTHING ELSE?
WELL, I'D SAY C-PLUS, DOCTOR.
I MADE IT THROUGH MED SCHOOL, TIM.
I'M USED TO STRAIGHT A'S.
(CHUCKLES)
CHEEKY.
OH, THIS IS BEAUTIFUL!
YEAH.
YOU THINK THIS IS NICE,
YOU OUGHTA SEE THE FISHING CABIN.
YOU HAVE A FISHING CABIN?
FEW HOURS NORTH IN THE MOUNTAINS.
YOU NEVER TOLD ME THAT.
RIVER'S FULL OF RAINBOW, BROWNS,
GOT A MOUNTAIN VIEW.
IT'S KIND OF A FAMILY SECRET.
OH, IT SOUNDS WONDERFUL!
YOU KNOW, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO LEARN HOW TO FLY FISH.
REALLY?
YEAH.
IF YOU'RE EVER HEADING OUT THERE
AND YOU FEEL LIKE GIVING ME SOME FISHING LESSONS,
I'D BE HAPPY TO TAG ALONG.
WELL, YOU CHECK YOUR SCHEDULE, I'LL CHECK MY SCHEDULE,
NEXT TIME WE RUN INTO EACH OTHER
WE'LL, UH, MAKE A PLAN.
HOW ABOUT TOMORROW?
WELL, I GOTTA CHECK A FEW THINGS,
YOU KNOW, CLEAR THE DECKS, BUT, UH, YEAH, TOMORROW...
TOMORROW'LL BE GOOD.
OKAY.
SO YOU GOT JUICE BOXES, RICE CAKES?
PETER: I'VE GOT MORE HEALTHY TREATS THAN ANYONE COULD POSSIBLY EAT
BETWEEN HERE AND BANFF.
LOU: IT'S NOT JUST THE DRIVE,
WE'VE GOT A WHOLE TWO DAYS THERE.
PETER: YEAH, YOU KNOW, I HEARD THEY ACTUALLY HAVE STORES THERE,
SO WE SHOULD BE OKAY.
LOU: WE DON'T WANT TO SPEND OUR TIME SHOPPING,
WE WANT TO SPEND OUR TIME (CELL PHONE RINGS)
HAVING THE BEST FAMILY VACATION EVER!
PETER: YES. OH, HOLD ON. (BEEPS PHONE ON)
THAT'S WORK, I GOTTA TAKE THIS.
LOU: OH, COME ON.
KATIE: MAMA...
PETER: (INTO PHONE) HEY, BUDDY, WHAT'S UP?
(TO LOU) THANKS.
YEAH, I KNOW. WE'RE HEADIN' UP TO BANFF,
JUST ME, LOU, AND THE KIDS.
THREE DAYS AND TWO NIGHTS. IT'S GONNA BE GREAT.
NO, NO, NO, WHAT DO YOU MEAN CHANGE OF PLANS?
I CAN'T, MAN, I...
(SIGHS) LOU'S GOT HER HEART SET ON IT,
THAT'S WHY, I...
OKAY, WHAT KIND OF SWEETENER?
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER, MUSIC PLAYING)
WOMAN: GREAT! WHAT ARE YOU GONNA GET?
SALESMAN: HI.
WOMAN: SIR, HOW MUCH?
SALESWOMAN: WOULD YOU LIKE THIS?
WOMAN 2: SO HOW WOULD I WASH THIS?
MAN SINGS ON RADIO: ♪ OH YEAH! COME AND SEE! LOOK AT MY SHINING SUN! ♪
(BELT CLANKS DOWN)
GIRL: HEY, MOM, CAN I GET ONE OF THESE?
MAN SINGS ON RADIO: ♪ OH, YEAH, EVERYONE, LOOK AT MY SHINING SON! ♪
NICOLE: WHAT DO YOU THINK? SHOULD I GET IT?
DO I LIKE THIS?
NICOLE: EXCUSE ME!
HEY! HEY, STOP! HEY! HEY YOU!
BRING THAT BACK!
CALEB: SORRY, KID, RIDE'S OVER!
(TIRES SCREECH)
DON'T WORRY, I GOT THIS!
HYAH! HYAH!
(HOOVES CLOP)
HYAH! HYAH!
(HOOVES CLOP)
(CLUCKS TONGUE)
HYAH! LET'S GO! (HOOVES CLOP)
WHOA.
HYAH! COME ON! (HOOVES THUNDER)
(THIEF PANTS, BELT CLINKS)
(BELT CLINKS)
♪♪
♪ And at the break of day ♪
♪ You sank into your dream ♪
♪ You dreamer ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh... ♪
♪ You dreamer ♪
LOU: SO WHAT WAS ALL THAT ABOUT?
PETER: UH... THAT WAS, UH, WORK, TO BE HONEST,
AND THERE'S GONNA BE A LITTLE CHANGE OF PLAN THIS WEEKEND.
CHANGE OF PLANS?
PETER: YEAH.
UM, REMEMBER MIKE DERMAY?
HIS WIFE WENT INTO LABOUR A MONTH EARLY.
OH!
PETER: YEAH, WHICH MEANS, WITH HIM OUT OF COMMISSION,
THEY'RE GONNA HAVE TO SEND SOMEONE ELSE
TO THE ALBERTA OIL & GAS PRODUCT & PROCESS DEVELOPMENT
MANAGERS CONFERENCE.
OH?
PETER: AND GUESS WHAT,
APPARENTLY I'M THE PERFECT CANDIDATE.
OH.
SO AN OIL GUYS' CONFERENCE. LET ME GUESS:
YOU'LL BE WORKING THE ENTIRE TIME WE'RE IN BANFF?
WELL, UH, THAT'S JUST IT.
ACTUALLY, UM... THE CONFERENCE IS NOT IN BANFF.
IT'S ACTUALLY IN FORT MCMURRAY.
I KNOW, I KNOW, IT SOUNDS HORRIBLE,
BUT, UM, THERE IS A SWEETENER.
OKAY, I'LL BITE. WHAT'S THE SWEETENER?
THEY WANT YOU TO GIVE THE TALK TO THE PETROLEUM WIVES CLUB.
WH! I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S THE ONLY REASON
THEY'RE ASKING ME TO GO, SWEETHEART.
HONESTLY, I MEAN, PRODUCT AND PROCESS DEVELOPMENT?
IT'S NOT EVEN MY DEPARTMENT, SO IT'S BECAUSE OF YOUR BLOG.
REALLY?! LIKE DID THEY SAY THAT?
YEAH.
AND, YOU KNOW, I KNOW THAT WE'VE BEEN
LOOKING FORWARD TO BANFF FOR A REALLY LONG TIME,
AND I CAN GET OUT OF IT, BUT I JUST-
UH, NO, NO, NO, I... WE SHOULD GO.
IT'S YOUR JOB AND YOUR RESPONSIBILITY
AND IT WOULD BE MY FIRST PUBLIC SPEAKING ENGAGEMENT.
OKAY, WELL, SO WE'RE SETTLED THEN, RIGHT?
OH, HOW ARE WE GONNA TELL GEORGIE?
(INHALES SHARPLY)
(SIGHS)
TY: COME ON, BOY, COME ON.
AMY: SEE WHAT THE PROBLEM IS?
TY: YEAH, HE'S FIGHTING ME EVERY INCH OF THE WAY.
YOU WANT TO HELP ME OUT AND HOLD HIM FOR A SECOND?
I JUST WANT TO CHECK HIS TEETH.
AMY: YEAH, SURE.
(HORSE HUFFS AND SNORTS) EASY, BUD, EASY. HEY.
AMY: YOU KNOW, I DON'T THINK IT'S HIS TEETH THOUGH.
I REALLY THINK IT'S HIS ATTITUDE.
(TRUCK RUMBLES UP AND SHUTS OFF)
COME HERE, BUDDY.
TY: WELL, IF THEY HAVEN'T BEEN DONE RECENTLY,
THE BIT MIGHT BE HURTING HIM.
THEY SEEM OKAY TO ME.
AMY: HMM. HOW ABOUT YOU HOP ON HIM
AND JUST WALK HIM AROUND, LET HIM CHILL?
TY: ALL RIGHT.
TIM: HEY! AMY: HEY, DAD, WHAT'S UP?
TIM: OH, YOU KNOW, JUST DROPPED BY TO SEE HOW YOU'RE DOING.
I'M GOOD. I'M BUSY.
GOOD!
WELL, THERE'S JACK'S TRUCK, HUH? LAST TIME I WAS HERE,
HE SAID WAS GONNA GO FLY FISHING WITH GEORGIE
UP AT THE CABIN.
UH, THEY WERE, BUT NOW GEORGIE'S
GOING UP TO BANFF WITH LOU AND PETER.
SO THE CABIN'S EMPTY... AS USUAL.
YEAH. WHY THE SUDDEN INTEREST?
HEY, UH, IS HE TAKING UP BARREL RACING OR-?
ARE YOU TAKING UP BARREL RACING?
(CHUCKLES)
SO WE'RE NOT GOING TO BANFF?
PETER: NO, AND WE KNOW THAT IT'S A HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT TO YOU, HONEY,
BUT THINGS CHANGE ALL THE TIME IN THE OIL BUSINESS
AND WE HAVE TO LEARN TO BE FLEXIBLE, OKAY?
LOU: AND WHEN WE DO GO TO BANFF, WE WANT TO GO AS A FAMILY.
SO NO ELK, NO BEARS, NO HIKING UP MOUNTAINS?
NO, NOT FOR NOW - NOT THIS WEEKEND -
BUT WE PROMISE WE ARE GONNA GO ANOTHER TIME, OKAY?
PETER: AND, HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT'S ACTUALLY PEAK TOURIST SEASON RIGHT NOW ANYWAY,
SO IT'LL BE WAY MORE FUN IF WE WAIT A FEW WEEKS.
LOU: YEAH.
DO YOU THINK MAYBE, WHILE YOU'RE GONE,
JACK COULD TAKE ME FISHING OR SOMETHING,
JUST SO THAT I'M NOT SO DISAPPOINTED?
LOU: YES, THAT IS A GREAT IDEA.
YOU KNOW, I'M SURE GRAMPA WOULD BE HAPPY TO TAKE YOU,
ESPECIALLY IF YOU ASK HIM NICELY.
OKAY, I'LL SEE WHAT HE SAYS.
JACK! JACK! GUESS WHAT! WE'RE NOT GOING TO BANFF!
THAT WENT WELL.
YEAH.
THE PETROLEUM WIVES CLUB? WAIT, YOU'RE KIDDING ME.
IS THIS THE 1950S?
I KNOW, IT SOUNDS A LITTLE OLD FASHIONED,
BUT, I MEAN, LOOK AT THE ACTIVITIES.
MINDFULNESS, PILATES, WINE TASTING...
ROCK CLIMBING, YOGA...
AND TALKIN' BABIES, WHICH IS WHERE I COME IN.
SO YOU'RE REALLY GOING?
PETER AND I FLY OUT TO FORT MCMURRAY
FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.
OKAY, AND WHAT ABOUT GEORGIE?
GRAMPA'S TAKING HER TO THE FISHING CABIN.
AND KATIE?
LOU, NO.
I HAVE WORK PILING UP AROUND THE RANCH!
I CAN'T SPEND MY WHOLE WEEKEND BABYSITTING!
SO GET TY TO HELP YOU OUT.
COME ON, AMY, THINK OF IT LIKE A TRIAL RUN.
PARENTING 101.
NOW YOU'RE REALLY SOUNDING LIKE A PETROLEUM WIFE.
COME ON, AMY, DON'T BE LIKE THAT.
IT'S PROBABLY GONNA BE SO MUCH FUN.
(SIGHS)
LOU: (CAR STARTS UP) DON'T WORRY, KITTY KAT,
MOMMY'S GONNA BE BACK SOON, OKAY?
PETER: YEAH, DADDY TOO, OKAY? BYE!
LOU: BYE, SWEETHEART, HAVE FUN WITH GRANDPA!
GEORGIE: I'M SURE I WILL.
LOU: OKAY, BYE! AMY: BYE, GUYS.
LOU: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WAIT! BACK UP, BACK UP, BACK UP!
AMY, DON'T FORGET KATIE IS OFF GRANOLA.
IT HAS TO BE OATMEAL WITH A TEASPOON OF MAPLE SYRUP.
AMY: OKAY, LOU. LOU: OKAY.
OH, AND NO MATTER WHAT SHE SAYS, TWO STORIES AND LIGHTS OUT!
AMY: OKAY! LOU: OKAY, BYE!
PETER: OKAY. LOU: OKAY. BYE!
LOU: OH, OH, AND NO ICE CREAM BEFORE BED! BYE!
GEORGIE: SAY BYE TO MOMMY AND DADDY! BYE!
ALL RIGHT, JACK, LET'S GO FISHIN'!
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
JACK: WELL, BREAKFAST FOR STARTERS.
YOU DON'T WANT TO SCARE THE FISH AWAY
WITH A GRUMBLING STOMACH.
AMY: (CHUCKLING) COME ON, YOU TWO.
GEORGIE: ALRIGHTY!
AMY: COME ON, KATIE, LET'S GO!
GEORGIE: (LAUGHS)
(TRUCK RUMBLES)
TIM: BETTER LATE THAN NEVER.
TRICIA: YEAH, TIM, I'M SORRY, THERE'S BEEN A COMPLICATION.
JADE: I'M NOT A COMPLICATION, MOM, I'M A HUMAN BEING!
(QUIETLY) DID SHE SAY MOM?
TRICIA: YEAH, THAT'S THE COMPLICATION.
MY DAUGHTER, JADE, SHE JUST- SHE TURNED UP UNEXPECTEDLY.
JADE: AND TELL YOUR COWBOY FRIEND THAT I'M NOT GOING FISHING!
YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!
IF THIS ISN'T THE BEST TIME...
NO, SHE'S JUST TESTING BOUNDARIES.
IF I CAVED EVERY TIME SHE GAVE ME LIP,
WHERE WOULD I BE?
JADE: BACK IN TORONTO
AND NOT HOOKING UP WITH SOME LAME ROY ROGERS WANNABE!
TRICIA: OKAY, COME ON, JADE, PLEASE!
WOULD YOU JUST- JUST GET OUT OF THERE?
YOU GET INTO HIS TRUCK,
OR I'M CALLING YOUR FATHER AND SENDING YOU BACK!
MAY I SPEAK WITH HER?
HELLO. JADE, IS IT? I'M TIM.
(QUIETLY MENACING) GET IN MY TRUCK - NOW!
JADE: OKAY, OKAY!
DON'T STROKE OUT, ROY! (TRUCK DOOR SLAMS SHUT)
TIM: HERE WE GO - LIMITS SET, BOUNDARIES ESTABLISHED.
I'VE ALWAYS BEEN VERY GOOD WITH CHILDREN.
SO TIMES WASTING, WHAT ARE WE WAITIN' FOR?
I'LL GET THE BAGS.
AMY: SAY GOODBYE TO GEORGIE! BYE, GEORGIE! BYE, GRAMPA!
KATIE: (WHIMPERS)
AMY: WELL, KATIE, WHAT DO YOU SAY?
YOU WANT TO GO BACK TO THE HOUSE?
KATIE: MMM-HMM. AMY: YEAH?
KATIE: NO.
AMY: NO? WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANNA DO?
GO BACK TO THE HOUSE JUST LIKE I SAID.
I GUESS YOU JUST DON'T WANT TO BE TOLD WHAT DO, HUH?
MAYBE YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE.
(DIALING PHONE)
TY, HEY, CAN YOU COME OVER RIGHT NOW?
YEAH, THANKS. OKAY.
LOU: REMEMBER THAT POST I DID ON CHILD PSYCHOLOGY?
MAYBE I COULD START WITH THAT.
PETER: YEAH, IT MIGHT FEEL A LITTLE TOO MUCH LIKE SCHOOL, BUT...
OKAY, WHAT ABOUT THE POST ON OUR STAY-CATION
AT THE DUDE RANCH?
PETER: MMM. A LITTLE PERSONAL, I THINK. (ELEVATOR CHIMES)
I DO WORK WITH THESE GUYS, YOU KNOW?
LOU: OKAY, NOT TOO PERSONAL, NOT TOO SERIOUS...
WHAT ARE YOU SMILING AT?
PETER: NOTHIN'. IT'S JUST BEEN A LONG TIME
SINCE WE'VE BEEN ANYWHERE WITHOUT THE KIDS, THAT'S ALL.
LOU: I KNOW. I MISS THEM ALREADY.
PETER: YEAH, BUT NOTHING WRONG WITH A LITTLE ALONE TIME.
(CLICKS ELEVATOR BUTTON)
LOU: OH, I GET IT - ALONE, LIKE YOU AND ME ALONE.
AMY: KATIE, HERE'S TY! LET'S GO SEE HIM!
LET'S GO SEE UNCLE TY, HUH?
HEY.
TY: OKAY, THIS BETTER BE GOOD.
AMY: IT IS. I THINK I'VE FIGURED OUT WHAT'S GOING ON WITH HOTSHOT.
YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT THE BARRELS OR HIS TEETH
OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
HE JUST HAS A MIND OF HIS OWN!
HE DOESN'T WANT ME TELLING HIM WHAT TO DO!
TY: OKAY, SO WHAT'S YOUR NEXT MOVE?
AMY: WELL, I NEED YOU TO LOOK AFTER KATIE.
TY: YOU CALLED ME ALL THE WAY OUT HERE TO BABYSIT?
AMY: COME ON, TY, JUST THINK OF IT AS PRACTICE.
YOU KNOW, PARENTING 101. I'M GONNA GO WORK HOTSHOT!
TY: (SIGHS) KATIE: (BABBLES)
LOU: WE ARE OIL WIVES,
BOUND TO THE OIL INDUSTRY TILL DEATH DO US PART.
FEW WOMEN: (CHUCKLE)
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU,
BUT I NEVER THOUGHT THINGS WOULD TURN OUT THIS WAY.
IN FACT, WHEN I FIRST MET MY HUSBAND
I WAS SORT OF PROTESTING HIS SEISMIC TESTING SITE.
(NERVOUS LAUGH)
WOMEN: (LAUGH) OH MY!
LOU: BUT, UH, LUCKILY WE WERE ABLE TO GET PAST OUR DIFFERENCES
AND I FELL IN LOVE.
WOMAN: AW.
LOU: I REALIZED HE WAS ONE OF THE GOOD GUYS.
NOT THAT IT'S EASY FOR AN OIL GUY TO BE A GOOD GUY,
AT LEAST NOT TO HIS WIFE.
YOU ALL KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, RIGHT?
CRAZY SCHEDULES, RIDICULOUS HOURS AND DEADLINES,
ALL THAT STRESS AND FATIGUE.
IT DOESN'T EXACTLY SET THE MOOD FOR ROMANCE, DOES IT?
WOMEN: (LAUGH)
ALL RIGHT, HOTSHOT, YOU READY TO HAVE SOME FUN?
COME ON! (CLUCKS TONGUE)
(HOTSHOT SNORTS)
THERE HE GOES! SEE THAT, KATIE?
AMY: (CLUCKS TONGUE)
COME ON! LOOK AT HIM! HE KNOWS THE PATTERN!
HE JUST DOESN'T WANT TO BE TOLD!
KATIE: (GIGGLES)
TY: OH, HE'S PICKING UP SPEED!
(LAUGHS)
NICE WORK!
AMY: (LAUGHING)
LOU: DON'T GET ME WRONG, I LOVE MY HUSBAND,
AND ALTHOUGH I MAY NOT LOVE EVERYTHING
ABOUT THE OIL INDUSTRY...
PETER: UH, I'LL CATCH UP WITH YOU GUYS.
LOU: ...I RESPECT THE NEED FOR IT. BECAUSE, I MEAN,
IT CAN BE TOUGH ON OUR HUSBANDS,
DON'T YOU THINK,
ALWAYS BEING DUBBED THE BAD GUY?
'CAUSE IT'S ONE THING IF YOU DO SOMETHING OBVIOUSLY GOOD,
LIKE BEING A DOCTOR, A TEACHER,
A FIREFIGHTER, A YOGA INSTRUCTOR.
WOMEN: (LAUGH)
LOU: BUT WHEN YOU'RE AN OIL GUY,
IT'S LIKE YOU'RE PERSONALLY RESPONSIBLE
FOR THE DESTRUCTION OF LIFE ON EARTH AS WE KNOW IT.
WOMEN: (LAUGH)
LOU: AND I MEAN, LET'S FACE IT, YOU CAN ONLY BE IN DENIAL
ABOUT THE WHOLE TOXIC EMISSIONS AND GLOBAL WARMING THING
FOR SO LONG, RIGHT?
BUT, IN MY EXPERIENCE, WHEN AN OIL GUY
GETS PAST THAT DENIAL STAGE
AND ACTUALLY STARTS FACING THESE BIG OIL ISSUES HEAD ON,
THEY CAN QUICKLY MOVE FROM BEING PART OF THE PROBLEM
TO BEING PART OF THE SOLUTION.
SO, I MEAN, MAYBE THE OIL INDUSTRY
IS A LITTLE LIKE A MARRIAGE.
FIRST YOU ADMIT THERE'S A PROBLEM, RIGHT?
AND THEN, YOU KNOW, MAYBE SHOW A LITTLE LOVE,
SPEND A LITTLE MONEY,
TAKE YOUR WIFE ON AN ALL-EXPENSES-PAID VACATION
TO FORT MCMURRAY?
WOMEN: (LAUGH)
SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH THAT PICTURE.
(TRUCK RUMBLES)
JACK: OKAY, HERE WE ARE!
AWESOME! (DOOR SLAMS SHUT)
COME ON, JACK, HURRY UP! THIS IS PERFECT!
JACK: (CHUCKLES) YEAH.
I BET WE'LL CATCH LOTS OF FISH!
JACK?
JACK: YEAH?
GEORGIE: IS SOMEONE ALREADY HERE?
JACK: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WELL, THE DOOR'S OPEN AND THERE'S A BAG ON THE PORCH.
(BAG THUMPS)
YOU STAY THERE!
WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE?
WHAT AM I DOING HERE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I'M JACK BARTLETT. THIS IS MY FISHING CABIN.
NOW IT'S YOUR TURN AND YOU BETTER MAKE IT GOOD!
I'M JADE. JADE VIRANI. I'M HERE WITH MY MOM.
VIRANI?
DOCTOR VIRANI? WELL, WHERE'S SHE?
JADE: SHE'S FISHING WITH HER STUPID NEW BOYFRIEND!
JACK: BOYFRIEND?
JADE: YEAH, TONY... TOM...
JACK: TIM?
JADE: YEAH, THAT'S IT.
JACK: BOTH OF YOU, YOU STAY PUT!
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKIN' AT?
TY: (QUIETLY) NOTHING BEATS A MIDDAY NAP.
THAT'S RIGHT, KATIE.
(EXAGERRATED YAWN) WE'RE ALL GOING TO SLEEP NOW, JUST CLOSING OUR EYES...
(DOOR SQUEAKS SHUT)
(WHISPERING) FINALLY.
AMY?
I'M IN HERE.
HEY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
I'M GONNA GO WORK WITH HOTSHOT SOME MORE.
(WHISPERING) WE JUST GOT KATIE TO SLEEP.
WE GOT THE WHOLE PLACE TO OURSELVES.
OKAY... I THINK YOS
ARE A LITTLE OUT OF WHACK?
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
WELL... KATIE: TY!
I THINK YOU SHOULD PROBABLY GO CHECK ON HER.
WHY DON'T YOU GO CHECK ON HER THIS TIME?
KATIE: TY!
NO, SHE REALLY WANTS YOU,
AND I'VE GOT WORK TO DO, OKAY?
OKAY.
HEY, THANK YOU.
KATIE: TY!
TY: ALL RIGHT, KATIE, HERE I COME!
(LIGHT TAP)
TIM: OKAY, IT'S ALL ABOUT RHYTHM. JUST TAKE IT BACK...
TRICIA: OKAY...
TIM: WAIT, THEN TAKE IT THROUGH... (FISHING LINE WHIPS)
NOT BAD, NOT BAD.
JADE: WHAT ARE YOU GUYS EVEN DOING OUT HERE?
GEORGIE: YOU KNOW, FISHING.
JADE: FISHING WITH YOUR GRANDFATHER? KILL ME NOW!
MAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M STUCK OUT HERE!
NO TV, NO INTERNET, NO NOTHING!
GEORGIE: WELL, JACK SAID THERE WAS SOME BOARD GAMES IN THE CABIN.
JADE: BOARD GAMES? I'M BORED ENOUGH AS IT IS.
THE LAST THING I NEED IS BOARD GAMES!
(FISHING LINE WHIPS)
TIM: THAT'S PERFECT!
TRICIA: WOO!
TIM: AND THAT'S RIGHT WHERE THE BIG FISH ARE,
SO YOU HANG ONTO THAT. I'M GONNA GET MY ROD.
TRICIA: (LAUGHING)
TIM: LOOKIN' GOOD!
TRICIA: THE THING THAT WORRIES ME
IS WHAT HAPPENS IF I CATCH A FISH?
TIM: (LAUGHING)
JACK: THE WAY HE'S TEACHING YOU TO CAST,
THAT'S THE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES.
TRICIA: JACK!
I DIDN'T EXPECT TO SEE YOU HERE!
WHY NOT? IT'S MY CABIN.
TRICIA: OH, I THOUGHT THIS WAS YOUR PLACE?
I'D, I'D HEARD THAT GEORGIE WAS GOING UP TO BANFF,
SO I JUST ASSUMED-
JACK: WELL, YOU ASSUMED WRONG
AND SHE'S BEEN COUNTIN' ON THIS TRIP!
YEAH, WELL, IT'S A BIG RIVER, JACK.
IT'S NOT BIG ENOUGH!
TRICIA: OKAY, JACK, LOOK, THIS IS ALL MY FAULT.
I PRESSURED TIM INTO IT.
(QUIETLY TO TIM) I THINK WE SHOULD GO.
TIM: YEAH, OKAY, FINE.
YEAH, WE'LL GO.
YOU CAN HAVE THE RIVER ALL TO YOURSELF.
MAKE YOU HAPPY?
JACK, I'M SORRY ABOUT THIS.
NO, I- REALLY I AM.
(SIGHS)
LISA: (LAUGHTER ECHOES)
I DIDN'T KNOW FISHING WAS A TEAM SPORT.
JACK: ME NEITHER. (GASPS)
STICK IT IN,
FOLLOW THE LINE DOWN WITH THE TIP OF YOUR ROD...
YOU JUST CAUGHT YOURSELF A FISH!
LISA: OH REALLY?! DID I?!
JACK: (LAUGHING) YES, YOU DID!
LISA: AHH! (LAUGHS)
JACK IN PAST: OKAY, THERE YOU GO!
(SIGHS)
DID YOU GUYS EVEN BRING ANYTHING TO EAT?
GEORGIE: WELL, THERE'S SOME STUFF IN THE BACK OF TRUCK -
A COOLER, DRINKS.
JADE: ALL RIGHT.
AH, LIFE IN THE BOONIES!
GRAMPS LEFT HIS KEYS IN THE IGNITION!
(TRUCK STARTS UP) HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
GOING FOR A RIDE. YOU WANNA COME?
NO! YOU CAN'T! JACK WOULD NEVER LET YOU!
GIVE ME THE KEYS!
JADE: I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T WANNA COME.
GEORGIE: I DON'T! (TIRES SPIN)
GEORGIE: HEY! STOP! STOP! JADE: HOLD ON!
(TRUCK ROARS)
TIM: WELL, MAYBE WHEN WE GET BACK TO TOWN,
WE CAN GO OUT FOR A BITE.
THAT WAY THE DAY WON'T BE A TOTAL WRITE OFF.
JACK: TIM! TRICIA!
TRICIA: HOW BOUT FISH AND CHIPS? TIM: OH, THAT'S FUNNY.
JACK: HOLD UP THERE! HOLD UP!
YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN THINKING AND YOU'RE RIGHT;
IT IS A BIG RIVER,
THERE'S PLENTY OF ROOM FOR EVERYBODY.
SO, GEORGIE AND I, WE'LL JUST...
WHERE ARE THOSE KIDS?
AND WHERE IS MY TRUCK?! GEORGIE!
TRICIA: OH MY GOD, JADE!
(TRUCK ROARS AND THUMPS)
GEORGIE: DON'T! STOP!
(TIRES SLIDE AND SCREECH) NO!
JACK: GEORGIE!
TRICIA: SHE SORTA... SHE SOMETIMES... SHE DOES THINGS LIKE THIS!
JACK: GIVE ME YOUR KEYS!
I'LL SEE IF I CAN TRACK 'EM DOWN!
TIM: OKAY, GOOD IDEA. (KEYS CLINK)
WE'LL WAIT HERE IN CASE THEY COME BACK!
JACK: OKAY!
GEORGIE: PLEASE! STOP!
(TRUCK ROARS AND SKIDS)
TIM: JUST TAKE IT EASY ON THE GRAVEL, JACK!
IT'S A VERY POWERFUL TRUCK!
NICOLE: HEY, UH, CALEB,
IF YOU WANNA TAKE OFF, I DON'T MIND.
CALEB: ARE YOU SURE? 'CAUSE, I MEAN,
I REALLY DON'T MIND STICKING AROUND.
NICOLE: NO, NO, IT'S OKAY, REALLY. I MEAN...
BUT THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING, IT'S UH...
IT WAS GREAT HAVING YOU HERE.
SO I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND IF I CAN PAY YOU IN CASH?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT PAYING ME?
COME ON, CALEB,
I WASN'T GONNA HAVE YOU WORK FOR NOTHING.
YOU THINK I DID THIS FOR THE MONEY, NICOLE?
YOU THINK I'M THAT HARD UP?
OKAY, LOOK, NO. SORRY, I JUST...
I FEEL BAD ABOUT TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOU LIKE THIS.
AND I FEEL BAD TAKING YOUR MONEY.
I'M A PROFESSIONAL RODEO COWBOY.
I GOT A DRAWER FULL OF BUCKLES, A SWEET SET OF WHEELS.
ON A GOOD DAY, I MAKE A WHOLE LOT MORE
THAN YOU GOT THERE.
NAH, YOU JUST FORGET IT.
HEY! CALEB, WAIT!
TRICIA: I GUESS YOU MUST BE WONDERING
WHY I NEVER TOLD ANYONE ABOUT JADE?
TIM: WELL, I GUESS YOU HAD YOUR REASONS.
I WASN'T EXACTLY STRAIGHT UP WITH YOU
WHEN I SAID THIS WAS MY FISHING CABIN.
IT'S NOT. IT'S JACK'S FISHING CABIN.
TRICIA: YEAH, WELL, I DIDN'T EXPECT HER TO SHOW UP SO SOON.
I GUESS MY HUSBAND HAD ENOUGH
AND THE NEXT THING I KNEW THERE WAS A KNOCK ON MY DOOR.
WAIT A SECOND, BACK UP. YOU HAVE A HUSBAND TOO?
EX-HUSBAND.
MY MARRIAGE ENDED A FEW MONTHS BACK.
ACTUALLY, IT WAS OVER LONG BEFORE THAT.
IT WAS MY FAULT. I WAS...
I WAS NEVER HOME, I WAS ALWAYS WORKING.
I SLEPT AT THE HOSPITAL, ATE AT THE HOSPITAL...
YOU ATE AT THE HOSPITAL? YOU MUST HAVE BEEN DESPERATE.
(CHUCKLES)
YEAH, WELL, MY MARRIAGE WASN'T THE ONLY CASUALTY.
I MEAN, JADIE WAS ALWAYS A DIFFICULT CHILD.
IT GOT WORSE AFTER THE DIVORCE.
TIM: IT ALWAYS DOES.
TRUST ME, I KNOW ALL ABOUT IT.
TRICIA: I GUESS I THOUGHT I COULD LEAVE IT ALL BEHIND
BY MOVING OUT HERE. (EMOTIONAL INHALE)
(TEARFUL LAUGH)
MUST RUN IN THE FAMILY.
JADE, I MEAN, WHAT, SHE'S ONLY BEEN HERE A DAY
AND ALREADY SHE'S TRYING TO GET AWAY?
(TEARFUL EXHALE)
CATCH IT!
(GIGGLES)
GOOD JOB!
(GRUNTS)
OKAY, AMY, I THINK WE NEED TO SLOW DOWN NOW.
KATIE: (GIGGLES)
AMY: NO, I THINK WE SHOULD JUST LET HER WEAR HERSELF OUT
UNTIL SHE WANTS TO GO TO BED.
TY: I DON'T THINK SHE'S WEARING HERSELF OUT.
I THINK SHE'S WINDING HERSELF UP
AND SHE'S NEVER GONNA SLEEP IF SHE KEEPS GOING.
KATIE: (GIGGLES)
OKAY, HOW ABOUT THIS?
YOU KEEP AN EYE ON HER,
AND I'LL GO DO NIGHT CHECK ON THE HORSES.
WAIT A SECOND.
WHAT?
YOU SEE WHAT YOU JUST DID THERE?
NO.
EVERY TIME YOU GET TIRED OR BORED,
YOU THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE YOU CAN BE DOING
AND YOU HAND KATIE OFF TO ME
EXPECTING ME TO DEAL WITH HER.
IS THIS GONNA WORK WHEN WE HAVE KIDS?
WE'LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.
I'M SURE WE WILL,
BUT I KNOW I'M GONNA BE A VET
AND I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO PICK UP THE SLACK
WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE WALKING AWAY.
AMY: TY, IT'S NOT LIKE THAT.
ALL RIGHT.
HOW ABOUT WE CHANGE THINGS UP A BIT?
I'LL GO CHECK ON THE HORSES, YOU WATCH KATIE.
NO, THAT'S NOT FAIR!
YOU'RE DOING IT RIGHT NOW, AMY.
(SIGHS) OH...
TY...
KATIE: (GIGGLES)
OKAY, KATIE, BEDTIME?
KATIE: (WHINES)
AMY: YOU'RE SLEEPY.
TY: HEY, AMY! COME CHECK THIS OUT!
I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T DITCH ME.
TY: WHAT HE'S DOING?
DOING WHAT HE DOES.
HIS JOB.
GEORGIE: PLEASE, STOP!
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO DRIVE!
JADE: (TRUCK REVS) I'VE BEEN DRIVING FOR YEARS!
GRAND THEFT AUTO, TOXIC TAXI, GRAN TURISMO...
GEORGIE: THOSE ARE ALL VIDEO GAMES!
JADE: SO?! THE BASIC PRINCIPLE'S STILL THE SAME!
GEORGIE: NO, IT ISN'T!
(ELEVATOR CHIMES)
PETER: LOU! LOU: OH, HEY!
HOW'D THE TALK GO?
IT WENT OKAY.
MMM-HMM. JUST OKAY?
WELL, MAYBE A LITTLE BETTER THAN OKAY.
THEY SEEMED TO LIKE THE PART ABOUT OIL GUYS
BEING IN DENIAL THOUGH, HUH?
OKAY, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE LISTENING.
I WAS JUST PASSING BY IN THE CORRIDOR.
WELL, YOU KNOW, I CAN'T TALK
ABOUT BEING MARRIED TO AN OIL GUY
WITHOUT TAKING A COUPLE JABS AT THE INDUSTRY.
WHAT? WHY NOT? HO-
WHY NOT, LOU?! WE'RE IN FORT MCMURRAY,
IN A HOTEL FULL OF PEOPLE I WORK WITH -
PEOPLE I WORK FOR!
YEAH, GREAT TIME TO DISS THE OIL INDUSTRY!
I DID NOT DISS ANYTHING!
I RAISED SOME INTERESTING TALKING POINTS
AND THE DISCUSSION AFTERWARDS WAS VERY POSITIVE!
IF- YOU KNOW WHAT? THEY INVITED ME HERE
'CAUSE THEY THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA TELL
SOME FUNNY STORIES ABOUT BABIES!
THAT'S WHAT YOU REALLY THINK MY BLOG IS ABOUT, DON'T YOU?
YOU KNOW WHAT? IF YOU WANT TO POST STORIES
ABOUT OUR LIFE ON THE INTERNET THAT'S FINE, OKAY?
BUT WHEN YOU PUT ME DOWN IN FRONT OF MY COLLEAGUES?
THEY WEREN'T YOUR COLLEAGUES,
THEY WERE YOUR COLLEAGUES' WIVES!
THIS IS NOT A JOKE, LOU! THIS IS MY JOB!
OH, TRUST ME, I KNOW!
WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
IT MEANS EVER SINCE WE MET,
IT HAS BEEN WORK FIRST, LIFE SECOND!
WOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE SAYING THAT.
YOU KNOW, I GO TO WORK SO I CAN SUPPORT THIS FAMILY!
OH, SO NOW WE'RE TALKING ABOUT MONEY?!
WELL, WE AREN'T TALKING ABOUT BABIES, ARE WE?
YOU KNOW WHAT? DON'T YOU DARE SAY ONE-
(ELEVATOR HUMS AND RUMBLES, THUMPS LOUDLY)
LOU: WHAT HAPPENED?
PETER: BLEW A FUSE OF SOMETHING.
THAT'S GREAT.
(TRUCK ROARS AND SKIDS)
GEORGIE: STOP THE TRUCK! YOU'RE GOING OFF THE ROAD!
(LOUD THUMP) LOOK OUT!
(TRUCK ROARS AND SKIDS, GEORGIE SCREAMS)
(TRUCK GRINDS TO A HALT)
(ENGINE HISSES)
GEORGIE: (EXHALES TENSELY)
JADE: YOU OKAY?
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
JADE: WELL, THAT WAS FUN... WHILE IT LASTED.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? FUN?! JACK IS GOING TO KILL YOU!
THAT WOULD MAKE MY MOM REALLY FREAK OUT.
WHAT?
WELL, YOU KNOW, SHE'S ALWAYS BUSY.
YOU KNOW, SHE'S ALWAYS GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO.
AND, YOU KNOW, I WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE BEEN HERE
IF MY DAD'S NEW GIRLFRIEND WASN'T SO UNBEARABLE!
SO WHAT HAPPENED?
I FLY HALFWAY ACROSS THE COUNTRY
AND SHE WON'T EVEN CHANGE HER PLANS!
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M OUTTA HERE.
GEORGIE: WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
JADE: ANYWHERE! ANYWHERE'S BETTER THAN HERE!
GEORGIE: WELL, YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE! WE HAVE TO GO BACK!
TRUST ME, WHEN STUFF LIKE THIS HAPPENS,
LEAVING IS THE ONLY WAY TO GO!
(SIGHS HEAVILY)
PETER: THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS.
LOU: (SIGHS) OH REALLY? YOU THINK SO?
PETER: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
LOU: I'M LOOKING FOR THE INTERCOM. HELLO? HELLO?
FRONT DESK GUY: FRONT DESK, HOW CAN I HELP YOU?
LOU: CAN YOU HELP US?
WE ARE STUCK IN YOUR DAMN ELEVATOR!
YOU CAN TURN ON THE LIGHTS AND GET US OUTTA HERE!
FRONT DESK GUY: PLEASE CALM DOWN, MA'AM.
YOU'RE NOT IN ANY IMMEDIATE DANGER.
OUR MAINTENANCE STAFF ARE ALREADY ON SCENE
TO ASSESS THE PROBLEM.
PETER: OH, YEAH, THAT'S GREAT. WHEN DO YOU THINK THAT'LL BE?
FRONT DESK GUY: BASED ON LAST WEEK,
IT SHOULDN'T BE MORE THAN TWO OR THREE HOURS.
MAY I HAVE YOUR NAME PLEASE, SIR?
PETER: YEAH, IT'S PETER MORRIS. I'M IN ROOM SEVEN SIXTEEN.
FRONT DESK GUY: WELL, GOOD NEWS, MR. MORRIS,
I SEE YOUR ROOM IS ALREADY TAKEN CARE OF,
SO HOW ABOUT WE COMP YOU A BREAKFAST BUFFET FOR TWO?
PETER: OH, FANTASTIC!
YOU THINK WE'LL BE OUTTA HERE BY THEN?
FRONT DESK GUY: I'M SORRY, IS THAT A JOKE, MR. MORRIS?
PETER: (SIGHS HEAVILY)
DO YOU BELIEVE THIS GUY? WE'RE STUCK IN AN ELEVATOR
AND HE'S OFFERING US A BREAKFAST BUFFET?
LOU: ACTUALLY, I HEARD THE BREAKFAST BUFFET'S IS QUITE GOOD.
(TRUCK RUMBLES)
GEORGIE: JACK!
JACK: WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?!
I AM SO SORRY!
THAT GIRL, JADE, SHE SAW YOUR KEYS
AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!
THAT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY. I'M JUST GLAD I FOUND YOU.
YOU'RE NOT HURT, ARE YA?
OKAY. SO WHERE IS SHE AND HOW DID MY TRUCK
END UP IN THE DITCH?
GEORGIE: I DON'T KNOW, SHE WAS GOING TOO FAST!
I SHOULD NEVER HAVE GOTTEN IN THE TRUCK!
WELL, YEAH, THAT IS FOR SURE,
BUT AT LEAST YOU'RE SAFE.
BUT I LET HER DO IT AND THAT MEANS IT'S MY FAULT!
JADE: OKAY, COME ON, LET'S GET REAL, THIS WAS COMPLETELY MY FAULT.
SHE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT,
AND WHEN YOU SEE MY MOM MAKE SURE YOU TELL HER THAT.
GEORGIE, GET IN THE TRUCK.
THIS ONE AND I NEED TO HAVE A CHAT.
LOOK, I'M SORRY ABOUT BORROWING YOUR TRUCK.
BORROWING? IS THAT WHAT YOU CALL IT?
AND TAKING GEORGIE WITH YA?
WHAT'S GOING ON IN YOUR HEAD?!
I DIDN'T- I... I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT, THAT'S THE BEST YOU GOT?
WELL, YOU GOT A BETTER THEORY?!
I GOT PLENTY, AND THE FIRST ONE SAYS
YOU'D DO JUST ABOUT ANYTHING
TO GET UNDER YOUR MOTHER'S SKIN!
WOW! YOU GOT IT FIRST TRY!
WELL, GUESS WHAT? IT WORKS EVERY TIME.
SO LOOK, AGAIN, I'M SORRY ABOUT YOUR TRUCK.
SORRY? I'VE BEEN HEARIN' THAT A LOT.
WELL, YOU'RE GONNA APOLOGIZE YOUR WAY THROUGH LIFE?!
NO!
I DON'T KNOW, I GUESS NOT.
WHAT ELSE DO I SAY?
WELL, IT AIN'T THE SAYIN' THAT COUNTS,
IT'S THE DOIN'
AND YOU KEEP DOIN' STUFF LIKE THIS,
PRETTY SOON PEOPLE WON'T GIVE A DAMN
HOW SORRY YOU SAY YOU ARE!
WHAT IS THIS?
SOME SORT OF BACKWOODS TEACHING MOMENT?!
YOU CALL IT WHATEVER YOU WANT!
AND WE'RE NOT DONE, SO YOU GET IN THE TRUCK NOW!
(DOOR SLAMS SHUT)
(CELL PHONE BEEPS)
OKAY, MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT. I GOT A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY.
(CELL PHONE BEEPS)
AND I OVERREACTED A LITTLE BIT.
BUT, HONEY, IF YOU HAD HEARD THE REST OF MY SPEECH,
YOU WOULD KNOW IT WASN'T REALLY ABOUT YOU AT ALL.
PETER: OH, I KNOW, I KNOW, I JUST... YOU KNOW, I GOT MAD
AND I JUST SAID THE FIRST THING THAT CAME INTO MIND.
KINDA LIKE ME AND MY SPEECH.
YEAH, EXCEPT THAT WHEN YOU SAY THE FIRST THING
THAT COMES INTO YOUR MIND, IT'S...
YOU'RE A VERY INTELLIGENT WOMAN, LOU,
AND ALTHOUGH I MAY NOT ALWAYS LIKE WHAT YOU SAY,
I DO LIKE THE WAY YOU SAY IT.
YOU KNOW, AND YOU BEING INCREDIBLY HOT
DOES NOT EXACTLY LEAVE ME COLD.
MR. MORRIS, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A COME ON LINE.
(WHISPERING) AH, GUESS WHAT, IT IS.
REALLY? WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?
HMM... HMM? WHAT?
PETER: WE GOT A COUPLE HOURS,
LET'S MAKE THE MOST OF OUR ALONE TIME.
LOU: (CHUCKLES)
(CELL PHONE CLATTERS)
(HORSE WHINNIES ON VIDEO, GATE CLANKS OPEN)
(HORSE WHINNIES ON VIDEO)
ANNOUNCER ON VIDEO: LOOKIN' REAL GOOD! A SOLID RUN! CALEB ODELL!
GOIN' THE EIGHT SECONDS RIGHT THERE!
AND THAT'S HIM DOWN!
THE JUDGES SAY 78 POINTS FOR CALEB ODELL!
(TRUCK RUMBLES)
TRICIA: OH, THANK GOD!
JADE: HI, MOM. ROY. CATCH ANY FISH?
HOW YOU DOIN', KID? EVERYTHING OKAY?
GEORGIE: YEAH, I'M OKAY.
TRICIA: WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, HUH?!
YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE, YOUNG LADY!
I'M REALLY SORRY, MOM.
NO, I'M NOT SORRY, ACTUALLY, I...
I'M GONNA STOP STAYING THAT.
I JUST, I DON'T KNOW, I GUESS...
I'LL TRY HARDER, MOM.
OH BABY, I WAS SO WORRIED!
TIM: SO IT'S ALL GOOD EXCEPT WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR TRUCK?
JACK: WELL, IT'S IN A DITCH FIVE MILES UP,
SO I'M GONNA NEED A TOW. (KEYS CLINK)
TIM: OKAY.
JADE: IT WAS A REALLY DUMB THING TO DO.
TIM: WHAT DO YOU SAY, GIRLS?
I'M GONNA HELP JACK GET HIS TRUCK OUTTA THE DITCH
AND THEN WE'LL HIT THE ROAD,
GET BACK IN TOWN IN TIME FOR ME TO TAKE YOU UP
ON THAT DINNER YOU PROMISED ME.
THAT'D BE GREAT.
WE WON'T OVERSTAY OUR WELCOME.
CAN I DRIVE?
AMY: ALL RIGHT, HOTSHOT,
WHY DON'T YOU JUST TAKE ME FOR A NICE WALK, HUH?
TY: ALL RIGHT, NO PRESSURE. LET'S SEE WHAT HE CAN DO.
AMY: GOOD BOY. (LAUGHS)
GOOD BOY! LOOK AT THAT!
HE'D DOING IT ALL ON HIS OWN!
HE DOESN'T NEED ME TO TELL HIM WHAT TO DO!
AMY AND TY: (LAUGHING)
YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD BOY!
YOU JUST WANT TO DO THAT ALL ON YOUR OWN!
AMY AND TY: (LAUGHING)
ALL RIGHT, NOW HE KNOWS HIS JOB, HOW ABOUT YOU?
IT'S STILL YOUR TURN TO PUT KATIE TO BED.
OKAY.
OKAY, KATIE, TIME FOR BED.
KATIE: (UNHAPPY WHIMPER)
AMY: (LAUGHING)
FRONT DESK GUY: MR. MORRIS? GOOD NEWS, SIR, PROBLEM SOLVED.
WE SHOULD HAVE THINGS MOVING ANY MOMENT NOW.
LOU: WHAT?!
PETER: UH, THAT'S PERFECT! FANTASTIC! THANK YOU!
FRONT DESK GUY: HAVE A GOOD DAY!
LOU: THAT WAS NOT TWO OR THREE HOURS! IT WASN'T EVEN CLOSE!
PETER: (LAUGHING) I KNOW!
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?
LOU: HONEY! (LIGHTS BUZZ, ELEVATOR CLANKS)
OH, WE ARE MOVING DOWN! WE'RE GOING- WE'RE GOING DOWN!
PETER: I KNOW! (LAUGHING)
LOU: IT'S NOT FUNNY!
PETER: IT'S OKAY! CALM DOWN!
(ELEVATOR CHIMES)
WOMEN: (CHATTING)
PETER: (CHUCKLES) SORRY, LADIES,
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO TAKE THE NEXT CAR.
WOMEN: (GIGGLING)
(ELEVATOR BUTTON CLICKS)
PETER: THERE WE GO. WOMEN: (GIGGLING)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
LISA: THE MYSTERY OF JACK BARTLETT UNFOLDING BEFORE MY VERY EYES.
JACK: (CHUCKLING)
OH, I'M NO MYSTERY REALLY.
I'VE NEVER BEEN ON AN ALL-INCLUSIVE VACATION
AND YOU COULDN'T PAY ME TO GET ON A CRUISE SHIP.
CAN I SAY THE REST?
SURE.
(CLEARS THROAT) YOU LIKE HORSES,
SOMETIMES MORE THAN THE PEOPLE THAT RIDE THEM.
(LAUGHS)
GEORGIE: JACK?!
(DOOR CLATTERS OPEN)
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
WHY DIDN'T YOU WAKE ME UP? LET'S GET FISHING!
NOPE. JUST LIKE I TOLD YOU YESTERDAY,
BREAKFAST FIRST!
YOUR GRUMBLIN' STOMACH...
WILL SCARE THE FISH AWAY.
THAT'S RIGHT. (DOOR CLATTERS OPEN)
(DOOR BANGS SHUT)
AMY: HERE THEY ARE, KATIE!
(SUV RUMBLES UP AND STOPS)
LOU: IS THAT MY BIG GIRL?! IS THAT MY BIG GIRL?!
COME HERE! COME HERE! OH, I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!
OH! OH! LOOK AT YOU! YOU GOT BIGGER!
PETER: HI, PUMPKIN!
LOU: SO YOU TWO, HOW WAS IT?
TY: GREAT, YEAH. IT WAS NEVER A DULL MOMENT.
AMY: YEAH, SHE WAS PERFECT.
AMAZING HOW LITTLE SLEEP SHE NEEDS.
TY: HOW WAS FORT MAC?
LOU: IT WAS MUCH BETTER THAN EXPECTED.
PETER: YEAH, THEY EVEN COMPED US A BREAKFAST BUFFET.
LOU: WERE YOU GOOD? WERE YOU GOOD?
PETER: YES, OF COURSE YOU WERE.
JADE: EXCUSE ME?
YOU.
DON'T WORRY, I'M NOT HERE TO CAUSE ANY TROUBLE
OR ANYTHING.
SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I KNOW YOU SAW ME TAKE THIS THE OTHER DAY AND...
I KNOW IT WAS REALLY STUPID.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING.
ANYWAY, I CAN PAY FOR IT, OR YOU CAN LET IT GO,
OR YOU CAN CALL THE COPS, WHATEVER YOU WANT.
I DON'T REALLY CARE.
JUST DON'T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN.
OKAY, JUST DON'T EXPECT TOO MUCH!
I SWITCHED OUT HIS TACK, GOT RID OF THE BRIDLE,
AND I'M GONNA RIDE HIM IN A HALTER,
BUT I STILL HAVEN'T GONE AT ANY SPEED YET.
CALEB: OKAY, ENOUGH WITH THE EXCUSES! LET'S JUST SEE WHAT YOU GOT!
AMY: ALL RIGHT!
TY: YEAH, COME ON, AMY, YOU CAN DO IT!
(HOOVES THUNDER)
YEAH, COME ON, AMY!
CALEB: (LAUGHING)
TY: WOW! LOOK AT THAT!
(DIRT SWISHES, HOOVES THUNDER)
COME ON!
CALEB: PEDAL TO THE METAL!
HEY, HE'S GOT SOME SPEED!
(HOOVES THUNDER)
ALL RIGHT, BRING HER HOME!
COME ON, COME ON!
TY: ALL RIGHT! WAY TO GO, AMY!
CALEB: THAT A GIRL! WELL DONE!
GEORGIE: JACK!
JACK, I THINK I GOT SOMETHING! (FISHING ROD WHIRS)
JACK: OH! OH, I THINK YOU DO!
OKAY, HOLD THAT LINE LIKE I SHOWED YOU NOW!
RIGHT THERE. YEAH, GOOD GIRL!
OKAY, HERE WE GO, I GOT THE LINE.
YOU REEL IT IN JUST A LITTLE BIT NOW.
KEEP SOME TENSION ON HIM! I THINK HE'S A BIG ONE!
GEORGIE: OKAY, OKAY.
GEORGIE: HE'S REALLY PULLING! JACK: EASY NOW.
GEORGIE: CAN YOU SEE HIM? ééé(Empty Line)ééé JACK: LOOK AT THAT! HE'S A BEAUT!
GEORGIE: HOW BIG IS HE?! JACK: HE MUST BE SIX POUNDS!