>> Xavier: FATE.
DESTINY.
FATESTINATY.
PEOPLE TOSS THOSE WORDS AROUND
LIKE TENNIS BALLS.
WELL, I EAT BALLS FOR BREAKFAST.
I KNOW MY PURPOSE IS RIGHTING
WRONGS.
I'M THE WRONG-RIGHTER, BUT I
DON'T NEED YOU TO CALL ME THAT.
I HAVE SPECIAL NEEDS.
JUST CALL ME...
SNAKE HAND, THIS SIGN -- IT'S
SOME SORT OF...SIGN.
MAYHAPS THIS STRANGE TOWN SHALL
HOUSE MY REBIRTHENING, AND I'LL
FINALLY FIND THE SAD SOUL I'M
FATESTINATED TO SALVE.
>> [ MUMBLES ]
>> THE SNAKE HAS JUST INSULTED
XAVIER.
>> Xavier: SNAKE HAND, YOU DON'T
KNOW YOUR ASS FROM YOUR ELBOW.
>> [ MUMBLES ]
>> THE SNAKE JUST SAID, "BUT MY
ASS IS YOUR ELBOW."
[ BABIES CRYING ]
>> EACH OF MY LITTLE PUMPKINS
GONNA GET A TURN WITH MOMMY ON
THE SLIDE, STARTING WITH MY
MO-O-O-O-ST FAVORITE.
>> Xavier: MY GOD.
WHAT BRAND OF MONSTER WOULD
ABANDON A CHILDLING?
>> GO ON, SON.
YOUR BRAND-NEW BIKE IS JUST
BEHIND THAT TREE.
GO ON.
>> Xavier: REALLY?
>> SO LONG, WEIRDO!
>> Xavier: DAD!
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
NO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O!
HEY.
HE WAS TELLING THE TRUTH.
YUMMY!
POPCORN!
[ DOG BARKS ]
IF THAT KIND OF THING HAD
ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO ME, I DON'T
KNOW WHAT I'D DO.
I'D SAVE THESE POOR KIDS IS
WHAT.
>> WHERE'S MY BABIES?
MY BABI-I-I-I-I-I-I-E-E-E-E-ES!
>> Xavier: A-A-A-A-A-ALL RIGHT,
KIDS.
WE CAN BUILD OUR NEW LIFE
TOGETHER DOWN THIS GLORIOUS
HOLE.
WELCOME HOME, KIDS.
IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE MUCH, BUT
THESE SEWER WALLS WERE BUILT
WITH LOVE.
YOU CAN TASTE IT.
I'LL HAVE TO BE BOTH MOTHER AND
FATHER TO YOU KIDS, WHICH MEANS
I'M GONNA BE DOING SOME THINGS
TO MYSELF YOU'RE NOT GONNA WANT
TO SEE.
AND ONE DAY, YOU'RE GONNA WALK
IN ON ME DOING IT.
>> THE SNAKE SAYS, "OH, BROTHER.
THE THINGS HE MAKES ME RUB."
JETS LAUGH.
>> Xavier: CHIEF MASTER GURU, I
FOUND THESE ABANDONED BIRDLINGS.
>> YOUR RESCUE IS NOBLE, YOUNG
ONE, BUT NOW YOU ARE TO PUT THEM
TO THE FIRE.
ALLOW THEM TO BE REBIRTHED LIKE
THE PHOENIX FROM THE FLAME.
WHILE YOU'RE DOING THAT, I GOT
TO GRAB A BITE.
ME NEED-UM EAT-UM.
>> Xavier: REALLY?
TO THE FLAME?
OKAY.
[ BIRDS CHIRP ]
>> YOUR DESTINY IS DEMISE!
>> Xavier: NO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O!
KIDS, I SWEAR I'M GONNA LOVE ALL
OF YOU, AND EQUALLY.
I'LL BE DIVIDING MY LOVE INTO
SEVEN EQUAL SECTIONS, OR LOVE
QUADRANTS.
EACH QUADRANT WILL BE WORTH 15
LOVE UNITS REPRESENTED BY THESE
SMALL BRASS MARBLES.
YOU MAY USE THESE MARBLES AS
CURRENCY AMONGST YOURSELVES.
COLLECT 35 LOVE UNITS, YOU CAN
TRADE THOSE IN FOR A BEACH TOWEL
WITH MY FACE ON IT.
COLLECT MORE THAN THREE TOWE--
>> WHERE ARE MY BABIES?!
>> Xavier: WHAT IS THAT RACKET?
>> WHERE ARE MY BABIES?
WHERE ARE MY BABIES?
>> Xavier: KEEP IT DOWN, LADY.
WE GOT FAMILIES AROUND HERE.
>> AAH!
HAVE YOU SEEN MY BABIES?
>> Xavier: I'M POPPING A PEEK AT
A SMOKIN' BABE RIGHT NOW.
>> I LOST SEVEN OF MY BABIES.
>> Xavier: TRAGIC.
I'VE GOT SEPTUPLETS MYSELF.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'D DO IF I
LOST THEM.
GOOD THING I'M A RESPONSIBLE
PARENT.
[ SMACK ]
YOU SHOULD TRY IT SOMETIME.
>> WHERE ARE MY BABIES?
WHERE ARE MY BABIES?
>> Xavier: OH, THE WAILS OF A
VICTIM -- ALMOST AS
HEARTBREAKING AS THE VICTIM OF A
WHALE.
SOMETIMES I THINK YOU KIDS ARE
THE ONLY THING KEEPING ME SANE.
NOW, WHO WANTS LUNCH?
GO ON, YOUNG'UNS.
SUCKLE AT THE TEAT OF MY GOOD
INTENTIONS.
DEMANG! I'M ONE NIP SHORT.
>> "I'LL TAKE CARE OF THAT,"
SNAKE HAND QUIPPED.
>> Xavier: SNAKE HAND!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>> "YOU'RE RIGHT.
IT COULD HAVE USED SOME HONEY
MUSTARD," SNAKE COUNTERS.
>> Xavier: SPIT IT OUT, YOU
ANIMAL!
>> [ GROANS ]
[ BABY CRIES ]
>> Xavier: [ GROANS ]
I'LL GET YOU TO PUKE.
OKAY.
ONE TIME, THERE WAS THIS REALLY
WRINKLY OLD LADY, AND -- AND SHE
WAS REALLY WEIRD.
>> SNAKE SAYS, "YOU'RE JUST
MAKING ME HORNY."
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Xavier: AND SHE PULLED A BIG
SCAB FROM HER FACE, AND SHE --
SHE ATE IT.
WHOA. SICK.
LISTEN.
YOU STAY AWAY FROM THE
REST OF MY KIDS.
>> [ MUMBLES ]
>> SNAKE SWEARS THAT HE COULDN'T
HELP HIMSELF AND ASSURES XAVIER,
HIS NOBLE MASTER, THAT IT WON'T
HAPPEN AGAIN.
>> Xavier: WELL, IT EVENS OUT
THE TEAT FIGHT, AND I HAVE TO
SAY, I FEEL THE CHILD'S SPIRIT
PERCOLATING IN MY VEINS.
LOOKING PRETTY BUFF, TOO.
[ SIGHS, SNIFFS ]
YOU KNOW, LOSING THAT KID BACK
THERE HAS MADE ME SYMPATHIZE
WITH THAT HORNY OLD LADY WHO
LOST SEVEN.
YOU KIDS, STAY PUT.
THOSE SICK BASTARDS.
THOSE SICKOS WHO STOLE YOUR BABY
LEFT A RANSOM NOTE, BUT YOUR
FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD WANDERING
SPIRT MASTER IS ON THE CASE.
>> THEY TOLD ME YOU WEREN'T
REAL.
THEY SAID YOU WERE A NIGHTMARE.
>> Xavier: NOT REAL, HUH?
IS THIS A NIGHTMARE?
WHERE'S YOUR HUSBAND -- THE
SO-CALLED "FATHER"?
>> HE DIED DURING CHILDBIRTH.
>> Xavier: HE WOULD HAVE WANTED
YOU TO MOVE ON.
HE CRAVED YOUR MOVEMENT.
NOW TRY TO REMEMBER WHERE YOU
WERE WHEN YOU FIRST DECIDED TO
BE A TERRIBLE PARENT AND LET
YOUR POOR BABIES OUT OF YOUR
SIGHT.
>> THE PARK.
>> Xavier: THIS IS FROM HIM.
I SENSE IT.
[ SNIFFS ]
UGH.
THE SICK BASTARD SMELLS LIKE MY
ASS.
[ SNIFFS ]
UGH. SMELLS EXACTLY LIKE MY ASS.
LUCKILY, MY LAKOTA YOGI TAUGHT
ME THE PROUD WAYS OF THE INJUN
TRACKER.
>> WHEN YOU ARE TRACKING MIGHTY
BUFFALO, YOU MUST BECOME
BUFFALO.
>> Xavier: [ GRUNTS ]
>> [ GROANS ]
>> Xavier: BECOME THE KIDNAPPER.
BE THE CRIMINAL.
BINGO.
THE MIND-SCRAWL OF A MADMAN.
MY GOD.
HE KNOWS WHO I AM.
KNOWS MY EVERY FANTASY.
BUT I AM HOT ON YOUR TRAIL,
SICKO.
YOU CAN FEEL MY HOT BREATH ON
YOUR NECK.
>> [ BREATHING ]
>> Xavier: THIS IS NO LONGER A
CLUE.
IT'S A GAME.
YOU MAY HAVE JUST GOTTEN
CHECKMATE, BUT WE'RE PLAYING
CHINESE CHECKERS, AND AS MY OLD
FRIEND CONFUCIUS SAY, "THE
HUNTER HAS BECOME THE HUNTER-ED.
THE CHASER HAS BECOME THE
CHOSTE.
DAME FORTUNA HAS HAD HER
FRANKING PRIVILEGES REVOKED.
IT SEEMS THE PORTRAIT HAS
PAINTED THE ARTIST, SKETCHING
THE REVERSER, WHO HAS BECOME THE
REVERSED.
BUT THIS TIME, THE SUFFIXED WILL
BECOME THE SUFFERER, AND IT
APPEARS THE BABY KILLER IS ABOUT
TO KILL A BABY.
[ VOMITS ]
WHICH REMINDS ME.
I GOT TO GO FEED MY BABIES.
YOO-HOO!
DADDY'S HOME.
WHO'S HUNGRY?
>> [ MUMBLES ]
>> "I NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D ASK,"
SNAKE HAND SAYS, WOLFING DOWN A
BABY.
>> Xavier: SNAKE HAND, YOU
PROMISED!
>> "LOOK, SOMEONE LEFT YOU A
'WORLD'S GREATEST DAD' TROPHY,"
SNAKE TRICKS.
>> Xavier: WOW. REALLY?
SNAKE HAND, GET THOSE BABIES OUT
RIGHT NOW!
GIVE ME BACK MY SONS!
AHA! GOT IT.
EW!
>> "GOES DOWN EASIER BONELESS,"
THINKS THE SNAKE.
>> Xavier: OH! MY SON.
AND MY OTHER SON!
I'M OVER IT.
I FEEL LIKE A MILLION LOVE
UNITS.
WHOO!
WHAT DO THEY PUT IN THOSE
THINGS?
I'M FILLED WITH A YOUTHFUL
SPUNK.
GALLONS OF IT.
>> SNAKE SAYS, "I JUST WANTED TO
GIVE YOU ENERGY TO HELP SNIFF
OUT THOSE POOR MISSING BABIES."
>> Xavier: SNIFF OUT, EH?
[ DOGS SNIFFING ]
I BROUGHT BLOODHOUNDS.
WE'RE GONNA TRACK DOWN THE
'NAPPER.
WE JUST GOT TO LET THEM GET THE
SCENT OF YOUR REMAINING BABY.
GET THE SCENT, BOYS.
THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE GOING FOR.
GOT THE SCENT?
[ DOG GROWLS ]
>> AAH!
>> Xavier: NOW GO GET 'EM, BOYS.
>> [ GASPING ]
>> MA'AM, SOMEONE STOLE OUR
BLOODHOUNDS, BUT WE GOT THE
BACKUP BLOODHOUNDS TO CHASE THE
FIRST-STRING BLOODHOUNDS.
THEIR SCENT TOOK US HERE.
>> THEY WERE JUST HERE.
THEY ATE MY BABY!
>> I KNEW WE SHOULDN'T HAVE LEFT
YOU ALONE.
YOU'RE TWISTED, AND YOU HAVE THE
GALL TO BLAME IT ON POLICE DOGS?
THOSE DOGS WERE DECORATED.
LOOK AT THIS PLACE.
WHAT HAVE YOU EVER DECORATED?
>> HEY, SARGE, WE GOT THE SCENT.
THE BACKUP BLOODHOUNDS HAVE
FOUND THE TRAIL OF THE ORIGINAL
FIRST-TIER BLOODHOUNDS.
>> Xavier: MY GOD.
THE DOGS ARE GOING RIGHT INTO MY
HIDDEN LAIR.
THAT MEANS THE BABY-NAPPER MUST
BE IN THERE NOW.
I'VE GOT HIM CORNERED.
AND IT LOOKS LIKE THIS TIME, THE
CORONER HAS BECOME THE
CORNHOLER.
I GOT YOU NOW.
[ Echoing ] GOT YOU NOW.
HE DOESN'T HAVE ME.
I GOT HIM TRAPPED.
LISTEN. YOU'RE TRAPPED.
[ Echoing ] YOU'RE TRAPPED.
[ BABIES CRYING ]
>> POLICE!
WHO'S IN THERE?
IS IT A BABY KILLER?
>> Xavier: OOH, FRITTATA.
THE COPS ARE GONNA THINK THAT
THESE ARE THE MISSING BABIES --
THAT I'M A KIDNAPPER.
IT'S THE PERFECT FRAME-UP -- THE
PERFECT CRIME.
>> THE SNAKE OFFERS TO GET RID
OF THE EVIDENCE.
>> Xavier: DAMN IT.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
I CAN'T SEND AN INNOCENT MAN TO
JAIL, EVEN IF IT IS ME.
DO WHAT YOU GOT TO DO.
I DON'T WANT TO LOOK.
>> NO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O!
MY BABI-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-E-E-ES!
>> YOU WEIRDO.
WE DON'T COTTON TO THAT BEHAVIOR
AROUND THESE PARTS.
>> THERE GOES THAT SNAKE AGAIN.
>> [ GASPING ]
>> IT'S BEAUTIFUL, SARGE.
>> YOU FOUND ME -- THE
EVER-CHILD.
BASK IN THE BLISS ENERGY OF MY
GLORIOUS LOVE BEAM.
DON'T YOU SEE?
THE MISSING CHILD YOU EACH SEEK
TO RECONNECT WITH IS STILL
INSIDE YOU ALL, BUT YOU BURIED
IT.
YOU, PAUL, WHEN YOU WERE 6 AND
YOU KILLED THAT SPIDER MONKEY
WITH THAT CLAW HAMMER, YOU
REALLY JUST SQUASHED YOUR HEART
WITH THAT HAMMER, AND THAT'S WHY
YOU BECAME A DIRTY PIG COP.
>> HE'S RIGHT!
[ GUNSHOT ]
>> AND YOU, YOU'LL HAVE CHILDREN
AGAIN.
YOU JUST NEED TO GET SOME
FACE WORK.
MAYBE GET YOUR BUTT DID.
>> HE'S SO HONEST.
>> AND YOU, THAT TIME YOU MADE
OUT WITH YOUR MOM AND SU--
>> BOOK 'EM, BOYS.
>> YOU'RE GOING AWAY FOR A LONG
TIME, BLISS BABY!
>> I FORGIVE YOU.
YOU CAN PUT ME TO DEATH, BUT YOU
CAN'T PUT ME TO LIFE, FOR WE ARE
ALL...
♪ BROTHERS ♪
♪ BROTHERS, BROTHERS, BROTHERS,
BROTHERS ♪
♪ BROTHERS -- WHAT? ♪
>> JUST HIT THE SWITCH, RODNEY.
>> YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO SAY
MY NAME!
I'M WEARING THE HOOD!
YOU PROMISED! [ SOBS ]
>> I GOT TO DO EVERYTHING AROUND
HERE.
>> [ GASPING ]
>> Xavier: UNH.
THANK FATE THAT BIG GLOWING
GALOOT WON'T BE BOTHERING US NO
MORE.
I THINK WE ALL NOW REALIZE THAT
OUR SOCIETY NEEDS TO STOP ITS
SELFISH SEARCH FOR MISSING
CHILDREN AND START SEARCHING FOR
THE CHILD WITHIN -- THE ONLY
CHILD THAT MATTERS.
I GUESS I'LL BE MOSEYING ON.
SORRY, BABE.
I'M A RAMBLER.
I'LL PUT SOME BABIES IN YOUR
BUTT SOMEDAY.
CLOSE YOUR MOUTH, DEAR.
YOU CATCH MORE FLIES WITH HONEY
THAN WITH BAD BREATH.
[ SNIFFS ]
AND THEN I WAS GONE.