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>> Xavier: WEAK FROM DRIFTING ON
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THE LONGEST MOSEY EVER RAMBLED.
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WEEKS WITH NO MEAL OR BEVERAGE.
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BLISTERING DESERT POUNDING ME TO
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THE CROSINE-TIPPED BRINK OF
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INSANITY.
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YET PERHAPS THERE IS TRUTH IN
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SAND MADNESS.
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>> [ Raspily ] SAND MADNESS.
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[ BIRDS SCREECH ]
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>> FEED ME.
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>> [ SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE ]
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>> [ Raspily ] SAND MADNESS.
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>> YOU HATH RAMBLED WELL.
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THUS I SHALL ANSWER QUESTIONS
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THREE.
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>> Xavier: WHO AM I?
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>> I CANNOT TELL YOU THAT, SIRE.
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>> Xavier: WHERE DID I COME
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FROM?
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>> I CANNOT TELL YOU THAT.
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COR BLIMEY.
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YOU HATH ONE QUESTION LEFT.
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>> Xavier: WHY ARE YOU
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PRETENDING TO BE BRITISH?
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>> I HAVE ALWAYS ADMIRED THE
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BRITISH.
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YOU ARE OUT OF QUESTIONS.
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BUT YOUR QUEST HAS JUST BEGUN.
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>> Xavier: WHO ARE YOU?
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[ CAMEL GRUNTS ]
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I GUESS IT'S TRUE WHAT THEY SAY
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ABOUT A CAMEL'S ASS.
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I AM HUNGRY.
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COMPUTER. COMPUTER, COME IN.
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>> Y-Y-YES, XAV-V-VIER.
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>> Xavier: COMPUTER, I NEED
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SUSTENANCE TO EAT.
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>> T-T-TURN -- TURN TO YOUR
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LEFT.
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>> LET ME GET, UH, TWO PACKS OF
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CIGARETTES BEFORE I GO.
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>> I GOT TO WARN YOU -- THEY SAY
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EVERY CIGARETTE TAKES 17 MINUTES
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OFF YOUR LIFE.
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>> WELL, HEY, IF I KEEP SMOKIN'
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'EM FAST ENOUGH, I'LL GET
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YOUNGER.
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>> SHOOT.
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YOU'RE A BAD LITTLE BOY.
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>> BESIDES, THEY SAY EVERY SLICE
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OF BACON TAKES NINE MINUTES OFF
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YOUR LIFE.
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I JUST CHOWED ME DOWN A YEAR'S
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WORTH.
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>> SHOOT.
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YOU'RE A NAUGHTY BOY.
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I'D LIKE TO PUT YOU OVER MY KNEE
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AND SPANK YOU SOME.
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>> Xavier: YOU KEEP YOUR HANDS
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OFF HIM.
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HIS BOTTOM IS HIS PERSONAL,
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PRIVATE PLACE.
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>> HOW LONG YOU BEEN STANDING
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THERE, YOU FREAK?
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>> WHAT ARE YOU, A CHINAMAN?
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>> Xavier: I WISH I KNEW MYSELF.
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>> WE DON'T COTTON TO STRANGE
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CHINAMEN WITH NO SENSE OF SELF
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WHO STAND SECRETLY BY FOR
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INDETERMINATE AMOUNTS OF TIME.
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GONNA PUT YOU IN A WORLD OF
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HURT.
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TAKE THAT!
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>> TASTE THE PAIN!
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>> TAKE THAT!
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>> TASTE THE PAIN!
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>> TAKE -- TAKE -- TAKE --
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>> WHOO, BOY!
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SEE THAT BASKET OF FRIES OVER
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THERE?
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WELL, LOOKS LIKE THIS WEEK
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XAVIER'S GOT HISSELF A BASKET OF
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PAIN.
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>> STOP THE TALKIN'!
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>> WHOO, BOY!
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>> LOOK!
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THERE'S BEEN A SIGNIFICANT
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DISCOVERY AT AN ARCHEOLOGICAL
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DIG.
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>> HERE TO ANNOUNCE THAT WE HAVE
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DISCOVERED THE OLDEST CAVE
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DRAWING KNOWN TO MAN.
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THE FIGURE IS A RATHER UGLY
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CREATURE, POSSIBLY A CHINAMAN OF
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SOME SORT.
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>> Xavier: IS THIS FINALLY THE
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CLUE TO MY MYSTERIOUS ORIGINS?
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>> YES.
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WE'RE GOING TO LOOK CLOSER, TO
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LOOK DEEPER FOR HIDDEN MEANING.
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>> Xavier: GENTLEMEN, I'VE GOT
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TO TAKE THIS, GENTLE MEN.
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>> LOOKS LIKE YOU AND ME IS ALL
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ALONE.
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>> NOW WHO'S BEING NAUGHTY?
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>> Xavier: FRITTATA.
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BARRICADE!
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EASY.
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EASY.
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EASY...
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E.
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COMPUTER! ANALYSIS.
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>> MY COMPUTER IS DOWN.
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ALL I CAN TELL YOU IS ANALYZING
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THE BRUSHSTROKES ON IT, I-I-IT'S
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46,939 YEARS AND 82 DAYS OLD.
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>> Xavier: I'M GOING TO HAVE
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TO...
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[ Thinking ] ...GO BACK IN
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TIME...
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AND FIND WHO DID THIS
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PAINTING...
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AND...
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WHAT...
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IT...
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MEANS.
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BUT HOW?!
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>> EVERY CIGARETTE TAKES 17
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MINUTES OFF YOUR LIFE.
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>> EVERY SLICE OF BACON TAKES
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NINE MINUTES OFF YOUR LIFE.
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>> EVERY CIGARETTE TAKES 17
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MINUTES OFF YOUR LIFE.
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>> EVERY SLICE OF BACON TAKES
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NINE MINUTES OFF YOUR LIFE.
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>> Xavier: CAN YOU DUMB IT DOWN
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A NOTCH?
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>> IF YOU SMOKE AND EAT BACON
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FAST ENOUGH, YOU CAN GO BACK IN
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TIME.
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>> OOH.
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YOU ARE A BAD, BAD BOY.
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>> Xavier: SAYONARA, PRESENT
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DAY.
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>> OOH! OOGA-BOOGA!
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NIMGOK LOOK GOOD.
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>> Xavier: YOU LEAVE THAT BICEP
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ALONE.
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THAT'S YOUR PERSONAL, PRIVATE
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PLACE.
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>> OOGA-BOOGA.
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HOW LONG YOU STAND THERE, FREAK?
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YOU SOME KIND OF OOGA-BOOGA
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CHINAMAN?
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ME PUT YOU IN WORLD OF HURT.
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TAKE THAT.
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OOGA-BOOGA.
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TASTE PAIN.
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>> WHOO, BOY!
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ORDER UP!
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OL' XAVIER'S GOT ANOTHER BASKET
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OF PAIN FRIES ON HIS PLATE.
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AND THE EMOTIONAL KETCHUP IS A
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BLUBBERING WHALE OF TEARS.
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>> Xavier: I'M NOT CRYING.
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I'VE GOT SOMETHING IN MY EYE.
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JUST TEARS.
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[ WOMAN SOBBING ]
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WHY ARE YOU CRYING?
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>> WHY YOU CRYING?
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>> Xavier: WHAT'S THAT BRUISE ON
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YOUR FACE?
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>> OOGA-BOOGA.
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WHAT BRUISE ON YOUR FACE?
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>> Xavier: I JUST FELL DOWN THE
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CAVE STAIRS.
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>> OOGA-BOOGA.
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ME FELL DOWN CAVE STAIRS.
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>> Xavier: I MAY STINK LIKE
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COCK...
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[ ROOSTER CROWS ]
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...BUT I'M NO SPRING CHICKEN.
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IS IT A HUSBAND? BOYFRIEND?
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GAL PAL?
186
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WHAT'S THE MATTER?
187
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PUSSY GOT YOUR TONGUE?
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[ CAT MEOWS ]
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>> MAYBE.
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MY HUSBAND, HE ONLY DOES 'CAUSE
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HE LOVE ME.
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>> Xavier: NO.
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THAT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I
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EVER HEARD.
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MAYBE HE DOES IT BECAUSE YOU'RE
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STUPID.
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>> MAYBE.
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>> Xavier: WELL, IF THAT'S LOVE,
199
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THEN I'D LIKE TO MAKE SOME LOVE
200
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TO HIS MOUTH.
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>> MAYBE.
202
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DON'T GET HIM ANGRY.
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>> Xavier: FROM NOW ON, I'M YOUR
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GUARDIAN.
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I'LL BE STANDING RIGHT BEHIND
206
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YOU.
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AND IF HE WANTS TO GET TO ME,
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HE'S GONNA HAVE TO PUNCH HIS WAY
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THROUGH YOU FIRST.
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>> MAYBE.
211
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HE DO NOT MEAN TO DO IT.
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>> Xavier: LOOKS LIKE HE'S DONE
213
00:05:41,793 --> 00:05:43,835
OVER $1,200 WORTH OF DAMAGE.
214
00:05:43,918 --> 00:05:46,085
FAR AS I KNOW, YOU WERE PRETTY
215
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BEFORE ALL THIS STARTED.
216
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>> MAYBE.
217
00:05:51,626 --> 00:05:53,043
>> YOUR QUEST IS NEARLY
218
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COMPLETE.
219
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THE ANSWER OF YOUR ORIGIN IS
220
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NIGH!
221
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>> [ Raspily ] SAND MADNESS.
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>> BUT CAN MADNESS HOLD THE
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TRUTH?
224
00:06:03,251 --> 00:06:03,960
COME.
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ENTER INTO THE WORLD OF HER.
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>> Xavier: WHAT IS THIS PLACE?
227
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>> THIS LAND IS THE PHYSICAL
228
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MANIFESTATION OF BRUTE,
229
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INARTICULATE RAGE.
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>> Xavier: YEAH. NO DOY.
231
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>> THAT IS THE PEAK OF
232
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DISAPPOINTMENT.
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00:06:20,043 --> 00:06:22,126
AND THOSE ARE THE NERVE WORMS.
234
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THEY'RE CONSUMING THE CARCASS OF
235
00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:25,710
YOUR CONTENTMENT.
236
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>> YOU DID THIS TO ME.
237
00:06:27,793 --> 00:06:29,876
>> THIS IS THE BEACH OF
238
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UNBEARABLE FACTS.
239
00:06:31,543 --> 00:06:35,585
>> YOUR BODY STINK LIKE EGG.
240
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>> AND THIS IS THE FOREST OF
241
00:06:38,043 --> 00:06:39,043
DADDY'S FIST.
242
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>> Xavier: OW! DADDY!
243
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NO, DADDY.
244
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>> YOU WANTED TO KNOW FROM
245
00:06:43,835 --> 00:06:45,043
WHENCE YOU CAME.
246
00:06:45,126 --> 00:06:47,168
IF YOU DARE, GAZE INTO THE LAKE
247
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OF TORTUROUS TRUTH.
248
00:06:48,501 --> 00:06:50,418
THIS IS YOUR MOTHER THE NIGHT
249
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YOU WERE CONCEIVED.
250
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>> HEY, EVERYBODY!
251
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LET'S GET WASTED TONIGHT AND
252
00:06:57,168 --> 00:06:58,085
PARTY!
253
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WHO WANTS MORE CHERRY WINE?
254
00:07:00,210 --> 00:07:02,293
>> Xavier: NO. YOU'RE LYING.
255
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THIS IS A LIE!
256
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LET ME OUT OF HERE!
257
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YOO-HOO! LET ME OUT OF HERE!
258
00:07:07,751 --> 00:07:09,293
>> OUCH.
259
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>> OOGA-BOOGA.
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ME THINK ME HEAR WIFE IN ME CAVE
261
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WITH NOTHER MAN.
262
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YOU GET OUT NIMGOK WIFE.
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>> Xavier: GO ON.
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I NO LONGER FEAR YOUR PAIN
265
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FRIES.
266
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>> WHOO, BOY.
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>> Xavier: FOR IN PAIN, I'VE
268
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FOUND THE TRUTH.
269
00:07:27,376 --> 00:07:29,626
AND EVEN THOUGH PAIN HURTS, YOU
270
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NEED TO CONFRONT PAIN IF YOU
271
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WANT TO TRANSCEND THE CRUSHING
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PAIN OF YOUR INNER PAIN.
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>> NIMGOK WANT ESCAPE CRUSHING
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INNER PAIN.
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OOGA-BOOGA.
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>> Xavier: WELL, LOOK INSIDE
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YOURSELF.
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WHY DO YOU HURT PEOPLE?
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>> 'CAUSE NIMGOK STRONG.
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OOGA-BOOGA! NIMGOK TOUGH!
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>> Xavier: BUT WHY DO YOU FEEL
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THE NEED TO BE TOUGH?
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>> 'CAUSE IF ME LET ME GUARD
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DOWN, OOGA-BOOGA, I GUESS ME
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VULNERABLE TO GET HURT MESELF.
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>> Xavier: GO ON.
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>> OOGA-BOOGA.
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00:08:00,085 --> 00:08:02,085
MAYBE NIMGOK FIGHT BECAUSE WHEN
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NIMGOK PUNCH SOMEONE,
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OOGA-BOOGA, NIMGOK GET TO TOUCH
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SOMEONE.
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ME ONLY HIT YOU 'CAUSE NIMGOK
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LOVE YOU.
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>> Xavier: NOW, THAT'S THE
295
00:08:14,043 --> 00:08:17,043
SMARTEST THING I EVER HEARD.
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IF YOU'RE SO TOUGH, TAKE UP THIS
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FEATHER AND WRITE WHAT YOU FEEL.
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THAT'S RIGHT.
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KEEP GOING.
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THREE...TWO...ONE!
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NOW, WHAT DO YOU HAVE?
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>> ME USED TO USE VIOLENCE,
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OOGA-BOOGA, AS ME PROTECTIVE
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SHELL.
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OOGA-BOOGA.
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BUT NOW ME STOW ME FISTS FOR
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FLIGHT OF LIFE, OOGA-BOOGA, AND
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LET ME HEART SCREAM AND YELL.
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[ DOWN-TEMPO JAZZ PLAYING ]
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ME LET ME SPIRIT SOAR.
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ME LET ME SOUL GLIDE AND SHINE.
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00:08:52,918 --> 00:08:54,918
>> Xavier: YOU JUST GOT IN TOUCH
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WITH SOMEONE VERY SPECIAL.
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>> WHO? WHO?!
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ME KILL HIM!
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>> Xavier: YOURSELF.
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00:09:00,085 --> 00:09:02,251
>> BOO-YA.
318
00:09:02,085 --> 00:09:04,460
YOU DONE SO MUCH FOR NIMGOK.
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00:09:04,543 --> 00:09:07,168
YOU GIVE NIMGOK PSYCHOSPIRITUAL
320
00:09:07,251 --> 00:09:08,251
BREAKTHROUGH.
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00:09:08,335 --> 00:09:10,626
WHAT CAN NIMGOK DO FOR YOU?
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>> Xavier: I'M LOOKING FOR A
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00:09:12,543 --> 00:09:14,251
PAINTING ON THE CAVE WALLS.
324
00:09:14,335 --> 00:09:15,543
HAVE YOU SEEN IT?
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00:09:15,626 --> 00:09:17,001
IT LOOKS LIKE THIS.
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>> YEAH. YOU JUST MAKE PAINTING.
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00:09:20,335 --> 00:09:21,376
>> Xavier: OOGA-BOOGA.
328
00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:23,876
[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]
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>> XAVIER, MY DATAS SHOW THAT
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00:09:26,085 --> 00:09:27,251
Y-Y-YOU DID THE DRAWING
331
00:09:27,085 --> 00:09:28,043
YOURSELF.
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00:09:28,126 --> 00:09:29,251
>> Xavier: YOU FIGURED THAT
333
00:09:29,085 --> 00:09:30,585
OUT -- RIGHT AFTER NUMB-NUTTED
334
00:09:30,668 --> 00:09:31,335
NEANDER-BALLS.
335
00:09:31,418 --> 00:09:32,668
NOW GET ME BACK HOME.
336
00:09:32,751 --> 00:09:34,251
>> THE BACON IS STILL IN YOUR
337
00:09:34,335 --> 00:09:35,126
SYSTEM!
338
00:09:35,210 --> 00:09:36,710
IF YOU GET IT OUT, Y-Y-YOU MIGHT
339
00:09:36,793 --> 00:09:37,918
BE ABLE TO GO BACK.
340
00:09:38,001 --> 00:09:41,210
>> Xavier: [ GAGS ]
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>> HE'S A WITCH!
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00:09:42,876 --> 00:09:43,501
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
343
00:09:43,585 --> 00:09:44,543
GET HIM.
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00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:45,960
>> Xavier: I'D BETTER GET THE
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00:09:46,043 --> 00:09:46,793
HELL OUT OF HERE!
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00:09:46,876 --> 00:09:48,710
[ GAGS ]
347
00:09:48,793 --> 00:09:50,585
>> I JUST SPENT AMERICAN MONEY
348
00:09:50,668 --> 00:09:51,876
ON A NAGEL PRINT.
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00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:53,543
>> PATRICK NAGEL JUST DIED.
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>> Xavier: [ GAGS ]
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00:09:56,210 --> 00:09:58,751
>> [ SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE ]
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00:09:58,835 --> 00:09:59,960
>> Xavier: OH, NO.
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00:10:00,043 --> 00:10:01,710
IT LOOKS LIKE I WENT A LITTLE
354
00:10:01,793 --> 00:10:02,293
TOO FAR.
355
00:10:02,376 --> 00:10:07,251
[ SLURPING ]
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00:10:07,085 --> 00:10:09,710
PERHAPS THERE IS TRUTH IN SAND
357
00:10:09,793 --> 00:10:10,668
MADNESS.
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00:10:10,751 --> 00:10:12,626
>> [ Raspily ] SAND MADNESS.
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00:10:12,710 --> 00:10:14,085
[ BIRDS SCREECH ]
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00:10:14,168 --> 00:10:16,585
>> FEED ME.
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00:10:16,668 --> 00:10:18,126
>> Xavier: I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE
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00:10:18,210 --> 00:10:20,126
THAT MISTAKE AGAIN.
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00:10:20,210 --> 00:10:24,751
>> WILL YOU FEED ME?
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00:10:24,835 --> 00:10:28,710
[ STATIC ]
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00:10:28,793 --> 00:10:32,001
>> LOOK CLOSER.
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00:10:32,085 --> 00:10:35,293
LOOK CLOSER.
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BYE!