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>> Xavier: IT'S WHAT SEPARATES

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THE WHEAT OF BEASTS FROM THE

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CHAFF OF CHAPS -- FREE WILL.

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MAN'S MOST POTENT MIRAGE.

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DO I HAVE THE FREE WILL TO TURN

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THIS DESERT INTO AN OCEAN?

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>> ALLOW THAT I SHOULD WEAVE

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THEE A TALE OF A LAND ANGEL, A

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SAND-SEEKER WHO PERCHANCED UPON

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A CROSSROADS.

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HE STOOD AT THE FORK, AWASH IN

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THE FECULENT KNOWLEDGE THAT

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WHICH PATH HE CHOSE WOULD BRAND

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HIS LIFE EVERMORE.

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HE OPENED THE EAR OF HIS SOUL'S

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EYE TO PROVIDENCE, UNWILLING TO

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MOVE UNTIL HE WAS SURE WHICH

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DIRECTION WAS HOLY MOST.

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FINALLY, HE FELT A COSMIC HAND

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GUIDING HIM TO THE PATH ON THE

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LEFT.

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>> HEY, FREAK.

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WE DON'T COTTON TO WEIRDOS IN

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OUR TOWN.

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SO SCRAM BEFORE I MAKE YOU TASTE

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PAIN.

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>> Xavier: DEAD?

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WHAT DO YOU SEE?

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WHAT'S THE AFTERLIFE LOOK LIKE?

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WHAT VISIONS?

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HE'S DEAD.

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COMPUTER, EXPLAIN.

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>> XAV-V-V-V-IER, ACCORDING TO

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MY RESEARCH, SOMETHING VERY

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WEIRD HAPPENED HERE.

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>> Xavier: IF I COULD JUST KNOW

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WHAT LED UP TO ALL OF THIS.

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>> CAN YOU GET AHOLD OF SOME

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BRAIN MATTER FOR A MEMORY

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EXTRACTION?

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>> Xavier: NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D

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ASK.

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>> BEFORE WE SING OUR GLORIOUS

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PRAISE TO THE LORD, IT IS MY SAD

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DUTY TO ANNOUNCE THAT OUR

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SIGN-LANGUAGE TRANSLATOR HAS

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DONATED HER HANDS TO THE NEEDY

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GROPER SOCIETY.

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IN HER PLACE, WE HAVE POPO, A

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VERY SPECIAL GORILLA FROM THE

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RESEARCH CENTER WHO HAS BEEN

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STUDYING SIGN LANGUAGE UNDER THE

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TUTELAGE OF MY WIFE, JUNE, FOR

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THREE YEARS.

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>> ♪ RISE AND SHINE AND GIVE

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GOD... ♪

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>> THIS GORILLA IS GOOD.

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SHE'S BLESSED WITH THE HOLY

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SPIRIT.

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>> THAT ANIMAL...SO BEAUTIFUL.

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WHAT ARE THESE FEELINGS COMING

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OVER ME?

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IS SHE CAPABLE OF FEELING THE

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SAME WAY OF ME?

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>> [ GRUNTING ]

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>> STRANGE.

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I FEEL LIKE SOMEONE IS RAPING ME

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WITH THEIR EYES.

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>> Xavier: OOH, THAT WOMAN.

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SO BEAUTIFUL.

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I JUST KNOW SHE FEELS THE SAME

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WAY ABOUT ME.

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SHE WAS TOTALLY CHECKING ME OUT.

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YEAH, WE'RE SOUL MATES.

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I SHALL NOW VOW TO MAKE HER MY

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BRIDE.

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THERE -- VOW LOCKED IN.

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>> YOU ARE MY SPIRITUAL GUIDE.

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WHAT SHOULD I DO?

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DARE I FOLLOW MY HEART DOWN THIS

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UNNATURAL PATH?

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>> LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT SHALL

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PASS UNTO THEE IF YOUR HEART YOU

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FOLLOW.

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I JUST NEED A QUARTER.

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>> WHAT HAVE I DONE?!

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>> I'M TOO OVERCOME TO SPEAK

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ABOUT MY HUSBAND'S MYSTERIOUS

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DEATH.

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BUT POPO HAS ASKED TO SAY A FEW

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WORDS.

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WHAT'S THAT, POPO?

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SHE'S SAYING THAT THIS TIME OF

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GREAT LOSS ILLUMINATES THE BONDS

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WE SHARE AS A COMMUNITY.

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AND FOR THAT, WE MUST GIVE

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PRAISE TO THE LORD.

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NOW SHE'S BEING VERY ELOQUENT,

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SAYING SOME VERY TOUCHING

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THINGS.

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SHE'S BEING MOVING.

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STILL BEING MOVING.

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>> IT'S SO MOVING!

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>> THIS GO-RILLA IS GO-ING

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PLACES!

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>> POPO IS GIVING THANKS FOR

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EVERYONE WHO COULD MAKE IT HERE.

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POPO IS OFFERING FAITH IN JESUS

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AS AN ALLEVIATION TO THE DEEP

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FEARS IN YOU...

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>> Xavier: I VOW THAT WHEN I

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MARRY HER, I'LL GIVE HER 100

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FLOWERS EVERY FIVE MINUTES.

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[ GRUNTS ]

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VOW LOCKED IN.

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>> ...SOCIETY DON'T ACKNOWLEDGE.

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IT'S VERY TOUCHING.

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>> OH, IT'S SO TOUCHING.

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>> SHE'S TUGGING DEEPLY

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INGRAINED HEARTSTRINGS NOW.

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>> PRAISE THE LORD!

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>> POPO IS URGING YOU TO DISMISS

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THE POWER OF YOUR RATIONAL MIND.

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SHE'S USING FEAR OF DEATH,

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PLAYING IN YOUR INSECURITIES.

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THERE'S A ROCK-SOLID ELEGANCE TO

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THE ARGUMENTS.

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>> SO ELEGANT.

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>> POPO IS SHATTERING YOUR

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SOULS.

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SHATTERING SOULS.

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POPO IS TAKING OBVIOUS METAPHORS

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TOO LITERALLY.

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NOW SHE'S DOING SIGN LANGUAGE.

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SHE'S MOVING HER HANDS.

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SHE'S SIGNING IN TONGUES.

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SHE'S LIFTING HER VOICE, SUCH AS

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IT WERE.

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SHE'S RAISING OUR SPIRITS.

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NOW SHE'S TOUCHING HER FECES AS

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THEY COME OUT OF HER BOTTOM.

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NOW SHE'S SNIFFING HER FINGER.

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OH, SHE OVEREXERTED HERSELF.

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>> DADDY!

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>> HONEY, I'VE BEEN MOVED BY A

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BEAST.

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COME, SIT.

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YOU'RE 16 NOW, AND I KNOW YOU'VE

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HAD SEX.

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>> OF COURSE.

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YOU KNOW THAT, DADDY.

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>> WELL, WE'RE CHRISTIANS, AND I

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WANT YOU TO SIGN A REVIRGINATION

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PLEDGE TO ME AND THE BIG MAN

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UPSTAIRS.

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>> Xavier: WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?

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WHERE DID JUNE GO?

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I VOW TO SEE HER AGAIN.

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[ GRUNTS ]

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VOW LOCKED IN!

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>> I GOT A CONTRACT AT CHURCH.

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>> OH, NEAT. LET ME SEE.

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>> NO NEED TO READ EVERY WORD,

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HONEY.

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IT'S ALL STANDARD LANGUAGE.

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BOILERPLATE.

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IT JUST SAYS YOU VOW TO BE A

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BORN-AGAIN VIRGIN AND NEVER HAVE

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SEX OUT OF WEDLOCK.

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>> SURE, DADDY.

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>> AND INITIAL HERE AND HERE.

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BITE DOWN ON THIS.

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AND WRITE YOUR MEASUREMENTS

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HERE.

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>> I'M A VIRGIN AGAIN.

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>> NOT YET.

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[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

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>> HYMEN GUY.

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>> OH, GOOD. HE'S HERE.

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>> HYMEN GUY.

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>> WHO'S THIS?

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>> YOU WANTED TO BE A VIRGIN

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AGAIN.

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HE'S GONNA MAKE THAT DREAM A

185
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REALITY FOR YOU.

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>> BUT I DON'T WANT A NEW HYMEN.

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I WANT TO GO OUT.

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>> YOU SHOULD HAVE READ THE

189
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CONTRACT.

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>> NOW, YOU GOT A BUNCH OF

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CHOICES.

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WE GOT THE TROPICAL BEACH.

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THAT'S PIÑA COLADA-CHERRY

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FLAVORED.

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WE GOT THE GROWLER, THE GOBBLER,

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FANGS FOR THE OVARIES.

197
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WE GOT THE APPLE DUMPLING GANG,

198
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SIGNED BY DON KNOTTS HIMSELF.

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THE FRENCH TICKLER FOR HER

200
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PLEASURE AND HIS AU BON PAIN.

201
00:05:48,418 --> 00:05:50,043
WE GOT THE NATURE'S CANDY, MADE

202
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FROM RECYCLED ELEPHANT HYMEN AND

203
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RAISINS.

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THE GRAY LADY.

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IT REALLY DELIVERS.

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THIS IS THE RICE ROCKET.

207
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YOU DON'T WANT IT.

208
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IT'S JAP CRAP.

209
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THE WE SHALL OVERCOME.

210
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THE MUD FLAPS.

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TURN IT INSIDE OUT.

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IT'S A DUVET.

213
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MOONS OVER MY H-OVARIES.

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THAT'S AN ANAL HYMEN.

215
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THE LOX BOX, FOR FRIGID JEWS.

216
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THEY ALL COME WITH THE FREE

217
00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:09,751
BANANA, EXCEPT FOR THE WE SHALL

218
00:06:09,835 --> 00:06:10,543
OVERCOME.

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00:06:10,626 --> 00:06:11,710
>> WE WANT THE BASIC MODEL.

220
00:06:11,793 --> 00:06:12,501
NOTHING FANCY.

221
00:06:12,585 --> 00:06:13,626
STANDARD DOUBLE-WIDE.

222
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>> DADDY, THIS ONE HAS AN MP3

223
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PLAYER.

224
00:06:15,668 --> 00:06:16,376
CAN I?

225
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:18,043
>> I COULD NEVER SAY NO TO A

226
00:06:18,126 --> 00:06:19,585
VIRGIN.

227
00:06:19,668 --> 00:06:20,710
>> TURN IT ON.

228
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>> WE'RE BACK.

229
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WCRST -- SUCCOTASH AND THE BIRD

230
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IN THE MORNING.

231
00:06:25,043 --> 00:06:26,293
THE CHRISTIAN ZOO RADIO

232
00:06:26,376 --> 00:06:27,960
HOOTY-HOO, FEATURING SUCCOTASH

233
00:06:28,043 --> 00:06:29,210
AND THE BIRD IN THE MORNING.

234
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ACCEPT THE SAVIOR, GET INTO THE

235
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GLORIOUS KINGDOM OF HEAVEN.

236
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SUCCOTASH, SUCCOTASH.

237
00:06:33,418 --> 00:06:34,751
CALL US UP, WIN SOME CASH!

238
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WE GOT CHRIST, WE GOT FAITH, WE

239
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GOT TRAFFIC ON THE 1s, WEATHER

240
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ON THE WHAT?

241
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WE GOT POPO THE PREACHIN'

242
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GORILLA IN THE STUDIO.

243
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HOW YOU DOING TODAY, POPO?

244
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KING OF MAKING A SPLASH IN THE

245
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PREACHING SCENE.

246
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MAKE A SPLASH, MAKE A SPLASH,

247
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SUCCOTASH.

248
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CALL US UP, WIN SOME CASH!

249
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WELL, IT'S 5:55.

250
00:06:46,168 --> 00:06:47,126
LET'S CHECK IN ON THE 5 W's.

251
00:06:47,210 --> 00:06:48,251
WE GOT WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE,

252
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WHY -- HOW'S THE WEATHER THIS

253
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MORNING?

254
00:06:50,001 --> 00:06:50,543
>> WEATHER'S ON THE TRAFFIC.

255
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TRAFFIC'S ON THE --

256
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>> NO TIME.

257
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SUCCOTASH, SUCCOTASH.

258
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WIN SOME CASH!

259
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ACCEPT CHRIST INTO YOUR HEART.

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LOOK DOWN ON US FROM THE

261
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GLORIOUS KINGDOM OF HEAVEN.

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POPO, I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE

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STARTING YOUR OWN 700 CLUB.

264
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SEVEN'S A PRIME NUMBER.

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YOU'RE IN THE PRIME OF YOUR

266
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LIFE.

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00:07:01,293 --> 00:07:02,126
LIFE COULD CHANGE.

268
00:07:02,210 --> 00:07:02,793
WIN A CHUNK OF CHANGE.

269
00:07:02,876 --> 00:07:03,543
SUCCO-CASH, SUCCOTASH.

270
00:07:03,626 --> 00:07:04,585
CALL US UP, WIN SOME CASH.

271
00:07:04,668 --> 00:07:05,501
GOT A CALLER ON LINE 7.

272
00:07:05,585 --> 00:07:06,335
ARE YOU THERE?

273
00:07:06,418 --> 00:07:07,376
>> YEAH. DID I WIN SOME CASH?

274
00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:08,168
>> OH! SO CLOSE...

275
00:07:08,251 --> 00:07:09,293
WAS THE PHRASE THAT PAYS.

276
00:07:09,376 --> 00:07:10,168
AND WE GIVE PRAISE.

277
00:07:10,251 --> 00:07:11,210
BOW YOUR HEADS.

278
00:07:11,043 --> 00:07:12,043
THANKS FOR COMING IN, POPO.

279
00:07:12,126 --> 00:07:13,501
COMING UP, WE GOT TRAFFIC ON THE

280
00:07:13,585 --> 00:07:14,376
1s.

281
00:07:14,460 --> 00:07:15,293
IT'S TRAFFIC EVERY ONE SECOND.

282
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THERE'S TRAFFIC!

283
00:07:16,251 --> 00:07:17,251
THERE'S TRAFFIC!

284
00:07:17,085 --> 00:07:18,501
NO TRAFFIC! THERE'S TRAFFIC!

285
00:07:18,585 --> 00:07:20,376
SIGALERT RAYBIRDS!

286
00:07:20,460 --> 00:07:22,293
[ APPLAUSE ]

287
00:07:22,376 --> 00:07:23,835
>> POPO IS BLESSING YOU ALL FOR

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00:07:23,918 --> 00:07:24,626
TUNING IN.

289
00:07:24,710 --> 00:07:25,668
AND SHE'S NOW WELCOMING HER

290
00:07:25,751 --> 00:07:26,501
FIRST GUEST.

291
00:07:26,585 --> 00:07:27,751
SEEMS TO BE A FAMOUS CHRISTIAN

292
00:07:27,835 --> 00:07:28,835
HOLLYWOOD ACTOR.

293
00:07:28,918 --> 00:07:30,418
>> THANKS SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME,

294
00:07:30,501 --> 00:07:31,210
POPO.

295
00:07:31,293 --> 00:07:32,335
YOU'RE QUITE AN INSPIRATION.

296
00:07:32,418 --> 00:07:35,251
>> Xavier: I HEREBY VOW TO NEVER

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DISAPPOINT YOU.

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HUH?

299
00:07:38,001 --> 00:07:39,626
[ GRUNTING ]

300
00:07:39,710 --> 00:07:43,043
HUH? HUH? IT'S NOT WORKING!

301
00:07:43,126 --> 00:07:45,501
[ GRUNTING ]

302
00:07:45,585 --> 00:07:47,168
>> THE AUTHOR IS LOBBING LOBBING

303
00:07:47,251 --> 00:07:48,085
HOLLOW PRAISE AT POPO.

304
00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:49,585
POPO SAYS SHE UNDERSTANDS THE

305
00:07:49,668 --> 00:07:51,210
ACTOR HAS A CLIP OF HIS UPCOMING

306
00:07:51,043 --> 00:07:51,543
MOVIE.

307
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>> YES.

308
00:07:52,460 --> 00:07:53,543
THIS IS A PASSION PROJECT FOR

309
00:07:53,626 --> 00:07:54,418
ME.

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IT'S ABOUT A GOOD CHRISTIAN WHO

311
00:07:55,460 --> 00:07:56,585
SACRIFICES EVERYTHING.

312
00:07:56,668 --> 00:07:58,043
AND IN THIS SCENE -- WELL, JUST

313
00:07:58,126 --> 00:07:59,085
TAKE A LOOK.

314
00:07:59,168 --> 00:08:01,418
>> WELCOME TO THE AFTERLIFE.

315
00:08:01,501 --> 00:08:03,501
YOU WILL EXPERIENCE AN ETERNITY

316
00:08:03,585 --> 00:08:05,543
OF INFINITE JOY IN THIS REALM.

317
00:08:05,626 --> 00:08:07,418
>> BUT MY SEXY WIFE IS STILL

318
00:08:07,501 --> 00:08:09,460
DOWN THERE, AND THOSE FILIPINO

319
00:08:09,543 --> 00:08:11,335
GATORS ARE ABOUT TO EAT HER!

320
00:08:11,418 --> 00:08:13,501
>> I'M SORRY. YOU CAN'T GO BACK.

321
00:08:13,585 --> 00:08:15,293
>> I'M NOT TAKING NO FOR AN

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ANSWER!

323
00:08:16,210 --> 00:08:20,126
GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HEAVEN.

324
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IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER, THE

325
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:25,251
SON, AND THE -- HOLY SH--

326
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>> LIFTING "SEVENTH HELLVEN"

327
00:08:26,918 --> 00:08:28,293
PART EIGHT TO NUMBER ONE AT THE

328
00:08:28,376 --> 00:08:29,626
BOX OFFICE FOR THE NINTH

329
00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:31,210
STRAIGHT WEEK, THANKS TO THE

330
00:08:31,043 --> 00:08:32,293
POPO-ULARITY OF POPO THE

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00:08:32,376 --> 00:08:34,085
GORILLA, WHO SOME BELIEVE IS THE

332
00:08:34,168 --> 00:08:35,501
SECOND OR EVEN THIRD COMING OF

333
00:08:35,585 --> 00:08:36,376
THE MESSIAH.

334
00:08:36,460 --> 00:08:38,210
>> MESSIAH OR NOT, POPO HAS

335
00:08:38,043 --> 00:08:40,085
LITERALLY CONVERTED EVERYONE ON

336
00:08:40,168 --> 00:08:41,668
THE PLANET TO CHRISTIANITY.

337
00:08:41,751 --> 00:08:44,168
THAT'S OVER 5 BILLION SERVED.

338
00:08:44,251 --> 00:08:45,126
>> POOR MONKEY.

339
00:08:45,210 --> 00:08:46,751
AND AS YOU MAY NOT KNOW, EVERY

340
00:08:46,835 --> 00:08:48,418
HUMAN ON THE EARTH IS RIGHT NOW

341
00:08:48,501 --> 00:08:50,210
GATHERING IN A CELEBRATION TO

342
00:08:50,043 --> 00:08:51,710
ACCEPT POPO AS OUR UNIVERSAL

343
00:08:51,793 --> 00:08:52,293
SAVIOR.

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00:08:52,376 --> 00:08:53,668
WE GO THERE LIVE.

345
00:08:53,751 --> 00:08:55,668
>> POPO IS SAYING THAT ONCE WE

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00:08:55,751 --> 00:08:57,626
ALL ACCEPT HER, WE WILL ASCEND

347
00:08:57,710 --> 00:08:58,501
INTO GLORY.

348
00:08:58,585 --> 00:08:59,501
POPO SAYS 10.

349
00:08:59,585 --> 00:09:00,543
POPO SAYS 9.

350
00:09:00,626 --> 00:09:02,001
>> Xavier: GLORY?

351
00:09:02,085 --> 00:09:04,168
I CAN'T LOSE MY LOVE TO GLORY.

352
00:09:04,251 --> 00:09:08,126
I'VE GOT TO GET HER.

353
00:09:08,210 --> 00:09:09,210
>> POPO SAYS 1.

354
00:09:09,293 --> 00:09:11,376
>> All: WE SURRENDER TO POPO!

355
00:09:11,460 --> 00:09:14,085
POPO!

356
00:09:14,168 --> 00:09:15,876
>> GOD HAS TAKEN HER!

357
00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:18,126
>> All: WHAT THE -- WEIRD!

358
00:09:18,210 --> 00:09:20,960
YOU KNOW, TO BE HONEST, I WAS A

359
00:09:21,043 --> 00:09:23,626
TINY BIT SKEPTICAL ABOUT THIS

360
00:09:23,710 --> 00:09:26,585
WHOLE "POPO'S THE MESSIAH" THING

361
00:09:26,668 --> 00:09:28,793
BEFORE THAT HAPPENED.

362
00:09:28,876 --> 00:09:31,585
BUT NOW I REALLY<i> DO</i> SURRENDER

363
00:09:31,668 --> 00:09:37,001
TO POPO!

364
00:09:37,085 --> 00:09:40,460
>> WE'RE ALL SPECIAL.

365
00:09:40,543 --> 00:09:42,960
>> SO IF I HAVE SEX WITH THAT

366
00:09:43,043 --> 00:09:45,293
GORILLA, THE ENTIRE WORLD WILL

367
00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:46,626
GO TO HEAVEN?

368
00:09:46,710 --> 00:09:48,251
>> BALLS NEVER LIE.

369
00:09:48,335 --> 00:09:50,501
THE WORLD'S HYMEN SHALL BE

370
00:09:50,585 --> 00:09:53,168
RESTORED -- INNOCENCE REGAINED.

371
00:09:53,251 --> 00:09:53,960
>> HOT DOG!

372
00:09:54,043 --> 00:09:55,043
I'M GETTING ME SOME

373
00:09:55,126 --> 00:09:56,501
WORLD-SOUL-SAVING APE

374
00:09:56,585 --> 00:09:57,335
SNOOCHIDOO!

375
00:09:57,418 --> 00:09:58,210
>> SUCKER.

376
00:09:58,293 --> 00:10:00,251
JUST TELL THEM WHAT THEY WANT TO

377
00:10:00,085 --> 00:10:04,043
HEAR -- "FOLLOW YOUR HEART."

378
00:10:04,126 --> 00:10:05,251
>> Xavier: COME ON.

379
00:10:05,085 --> 00:10:06,793
YOU'VE GOT TO ME ABLE TO OPEN

380
00:10:06,876 --> 00:10:08,210
YOUR MOUTH WIDER THAN THAT.

381
00:10:08,293 --> 00:10:09,126
>> XAVIER!

382
00:10:09,210 --> 00:10:10,293
I'VE ANALYZED THE BRAIN

383
00:10:10,376 --> 00:10:11,126
J-J-JUICE.

384
00:10:11,210 --> 00:10:12,793
THE THOUGHTS -- THEY'RE COMING

385
00:10:12,876 --> 00:10:14,168
FROM WITHIN YOUR HEAD!

386
00:10:14,251 --> 00:10:15,626
GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD!

387
00:10:15,710 --> 00:10:16,668
[ Echoing ] GET OUT OF YOUR

388
00:10:16,751 --> 00:10:19,710
HEAD!

389
00:10:26,085 --> 00:10:28,043
>> AND THAT'S WHEN HE REALIZED

390
00:10:28,126 --> 00:10:30,085
THAT TO STAND AND CONSIDER ALL

391
00:10:30,168 --> 00:10:32,168
POSSIBILITIES IS TO DROWN IN A

392
00:10:32,251 --> 00:10:34,085
TUNNELING SEA OF INFINITE

393
00:10:34,168 --> 00:10:35,085
POTENTIALITY.

394
00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:37,543
SO HE CHANGED HIS MIND AND TOOK

395
00:10:37,626 --> 00:10:39,251
THE PATH ON THE RIGHT.

396
00:10:39,335 --> 00:10:40,085
HIS RIGHT.

397
00:10:40,168 --> 00:10:42,210
IF YOU ARE FACING HIM, IT'S YOUR

398
00:10:42,293 --> 00:10:44,626
LEFT.

399
00:10:52,918 --> 00:10:55,585
>> PUSH! HONEY, PUSH!

400
00:10:55,668 --> 00:10:59,043
IT'S SOME KIND OF MONSTER!

401
00:11:05,376 --> 00:11:09,085
>> JUST TWO MORE XAVIERS LEFT.

402
00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:10,418
OUT THERE.

403
00:11:10,501 --> 00:11:13,126
[ Echoing ] SOMEWHERE.

404
00:11:17,668 --> 00:11:19,668
[ BELL TOLLING ]