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>> Xavier: HOW DO YOU MAKE A

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MAN?

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A QUARTER-POUND OF DEBONED

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SPINE, A LITTLE SALT OF THE

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EARTH, AND FOR PUNCH, A PINCH OF

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PAPRIKA OF PROTECTION.

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IF I WAS A CAR, I'D BE A

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PROTECTO-RATI.

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IF A KANGAR ME BE, 'TIS TRUE,

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PROTECTO-ROO.

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SERVE WARM OVER PROTECTO-RONI --

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OH, NO!

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SIR, DON'T JUMP!

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YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR.

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>> EH, BLOW IT OUT YOUR RUMP!

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I'M TRYING TO WORK HERE, FREAK.

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>> Xavier: I KNOW THINGS LOOK

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BLEAK NOW.

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NO DISGUISING YOU HAVE THE WHIFF

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OF STENCH LIFE ABOUT YOU.

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>> I DO? [ SNIFFS ]

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>> Xavier: I KNOW IT IS TEMPTING

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TO ESCAPE THE MISERY OF YOUR

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DAILY GRIND.

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>> NO MORE PAIN EVER AGAIN?

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>> Xavier: SURE, JUMPING WOULD

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BE AN EXHILARATING AND GLORIOUS

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END -- SWEET, SUCCULENT, FULL

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RELEASE ALL OVER THE SIDEWALK.

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>> HE'S RIGHT.

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LIVE WITH THIS, REGINA-A-A-A-A!

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[ SMOOCH ]

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>> Xavier: WHY DID YOU SUICIDED?

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DON'T BE AN INDIAN GIVER.

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LIFE IS A GIFT.

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>> THE GIFT OF LIFE IS ITS

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PRESENCE.

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BUT, IN INJUN-GIVING PRESENCE,

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TRULY THE GIVER IS THE RECEIVER

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OF A RE-GIVE-ED GIFT.

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>> I...LOVE...IT.

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>> Xavier: [ GAGGING ]

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>> REDEEM MY LIFE.

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>> Xavier: I WILL CARRY ON YOUR

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LIFE LEGACY AS YOUR REDEEMER.

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I SHALL TAKE UP YOUR SQUEEGIE

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AND SQUEEGE ALL THAT YOU HAVE

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LEFT UNSQUOGE.

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MISTER...MISTER...SQUA?

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I SHALL REDEEM THIS ON YOUR

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BEHALF, ENSURE THAT YOUR WASTED

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LIFE WAS NOT SQUANDERED IN VAIN.

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YOUR LEGACY, MR. SQUA, SHALT

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LIVE ON IN MY BELLY.

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I CAN FEEL IT IN MY GUT.

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>> WHAT DO YOU WANT ON YOUR

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SANDWICH?

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>> Xavier: I WANT SOMETHING THAT

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WILL DO DUE DILIGENCE ON A MAN'S

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LIFE.

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>> DOO DOO?

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WE'VE GOT LUNCHEON LOAF.

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>> Xavier: THAT'LL DO, BRIAN.

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>> [ SIGHS ] FOR A DOLLAR EXTRA,

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YOU CAN GET THAT ON OUR FAMOUS

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CHICKEN BONE BREAD.

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CHICKEN BONE BREAD -- THE ONLY

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BREAD THAT'LL CHOKE YOU WITH

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FLAVOR.

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>> Xavier: WHAT WOULD SQUA DO?

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>> [ GAGGING ]

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>> HE'S CHOKING!

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DO THE HEIMLICH MANEUVER!

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>> Xavier: NO!

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>> SHE'S CHOKING!

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DO THE HEIMLICH MANEUVER!

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>> Xavier: NO.

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MOMMY, ARE YOU OKAY?

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[ CREAKING ]

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>> YEAH, THEY'RE JUST GIVING ME

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THE HEIMLICH MANEUVER.

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>> Xavier: ALL SIX OF THOSE

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GUYS?

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>> ITS NOT A VERY GOOD MANEUVER.

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[ GRUNTS ]

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>> Xavier: STOP THIS CYCLE OF

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CHOKE-ULENCE!

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THE HEIMLICH MANEUVER IS THE

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BARBARIC PRODUCT OF A BACKWARDS

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AND UPSIDE-DOWN MIND.

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WE'VE GOT TO ACT QUICK.

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TIME IS TICKING.

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TICK, TOCK.

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TICK. A TALKING TICK?

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WHAT WOULD A TALKING TICK SAY?

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[ VOICE DISTORTED ]

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AND THAT IS HOW I DEVELOPED MY

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OWN CHICKEN-CHOKING MANEUVER.

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AS A TRIBUTE TO MY MOTHER, I

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PRACTICE IT ON MYSELF AT NIGHT.

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BEHOLD.

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[ INHALES DEEPLY ]

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[ EXHALES DEEPLY ]

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>> [ GASPS ] THAT WAS CLOSE

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CALL.

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WHY YOU LIKEE DO THIS FAVOR FOR

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ME?

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>> Xavier: A GREAT MAN IN HIS

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FINAL MOMENTS REQUESTED "BLOW IT

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OUT YOUR RUMP."

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>> ME THINKEE ME SHOULD SUE THIS

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PLACE LONG TIME.

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>> Xavier: WHO WILL BE YOUR

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WITNESS?

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>> I'LL BE MY OWN WITNESS.

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>> Xavier: THEN YOU'RE A TARGET.

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THEY'RE GOING TO TRY TO STOP YOU

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FROM TESTIFYING.

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THEY'VE ALREADY TRIED TO KILL

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YOU ONCE.

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I'LL STAY ON AS YOUR PROTECTION,

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AND I WON'T REST UNTIL YOU

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AREN'T KILLED BY THOSE

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CHICKEN-CHOKERS WHO WON'T REST

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UNTIL YOU'VE BEEN WHACKED OFF.

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>> SOMEONE WANTS ME DEAD?

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>> Xavier: HELL, YOU MAY NOT

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LIVE TO HEAR THE END OF THIS

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SEN...

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TENSE, ISN'T IT?

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>> THIS KOOK IS SPOOKIN' ME.

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AM I NUTS?

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>> [ High-pitched voice ] HE DID

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SAVE YOUR LIFE, BOSS.

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AND HE SEEMS SWEET LIKE

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♪ YUMMY CANDY, WHOO ♪

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>> Xavier: THE CASE OF THE

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DETECTING CLUES BEGINS.

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FIRST -- WHAT DO YOU DO?

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>> I GUESS YOU COULD SAY

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PROTECTION BUSINESS.

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>> Xavier: PROTECTION.

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WE FELLOW PROTECTORATORS ARE

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cOMRADES CONJOINED AT THE COIN,

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CO-COINELS ON THE SAME CORNCOB.

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I THRUST MY TRUST INTO YOU, COME

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THICK OR THICKER THAN BLOOD,

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BROTHER.

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>> NOW I'M<i> REALLY</i> SPOOKED.

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>> Xavier: IS THERE ANYONE WHO

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WOULD LIKE TO SEE YOU DEAD?

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>> THERE IS A CERTAIN CLIENT

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WHO'S PAST DUE ON SOME PAYMENTS.

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YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO PAY ME 10 G's

155
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A MONTH.

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I'D HATE TO HAVE TO USE THIS ON

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YOU, PAVLOV.

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WE BOTH KNOW HOW IT ENDS UP.

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>> LOOK, I'M NO HAVING ANY

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MONEYS.

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>> HELLO?!

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IS THERE ANY MONEY IN THERE?

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>> Xavier: I'M HEADING UP THIS

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CASE.

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WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT

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CHICKEN-CHOKING?

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WHERE WERE YOU ON THE NIGHT IN

168
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QUESTION?

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YOU SEEM AWFULLY NERVOUS FOR A

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GUY WHO'S TOTALLY FREAKED OUT

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RIGHT NOW.

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DO THE WORDS...

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MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?

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ARE YOU THAT SLIPPERY

175
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THROAT-BONER I'M ITCHING TO

176
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SNATCH?

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>> WHO'S THE NEW GUY?

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>> Xavier: WITHOUT ME, HE'D BE

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DEAD.

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IMAGINE A CRAB WITHOUT ITS

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SHELL.

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IMAGINE A MAN WITHOUT HIS SKIN.

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>> OKAY, I WANT TO KEEP MY SKIN.

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I PAY! I PAY!

185
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>> THIS MONKEY ON MY BACK HAS

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GOT A TWISTED MIND.

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BUT I LIKE IT. THAT'S THE TWIST.

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SORRY I HAD TO HANG YOU

189
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UPSY-DAISY.

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>> LISTEN, BOSS, IT DOESN'T

191
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SOUND SO TOUGH SAYING,

192
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"UPSY-DAISY."

193
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SOUNDS LIKE SOME KIND

194
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OF SILLY SONG, LIKE --

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♪ UPSY-DAISY, UPSA-DOO ♪

196
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♪ LET ME HAVE SOME CANDY, AND

197
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LET ME LOVE YOU ♪

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>> SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

199
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YOU'RE A GOOD HENCHMAN,

200
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DISGRACIO, BUT YOU SHOULD SHUT

201
00:04:46,168 --> 00:04:47,376
YOUR TRENCHEON AND STICK TO YOUR

202
00:04:47,460 --> 00:04:48,210
HENCHIN'.

203
00:04:48,293 --> 00:04:49,251
>> AW, COME ON, BOSS, YOU GOT

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THE ONLY SINGING HENCHMAN IN THE

205
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BUSINESS.

206
00:04:51,335 --> 00:04:52,168
IT'S A TWOFER.

207
00:04:52,251 --> 00:04:53,460
♪ I'M YOUR TWOFER, GOT A SWEET

208
00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:54,835
TOOTH FOR CANDY-ANDY YUMMY

209
00:04:54,918 --> 00:04:55,626
SWEETS ♪

210
00:04:55,710 --> 00:04:56,751
♪ OH, CANDY, WHOO ♪

211
00:04:56,835 --> 00:04:57,626
>> SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

212
00:04:57,710 --> 00:04:58,876
>> HEY, BOSS, YOU'RE GETTING

213
00:04:58,960 --> 00:04:59,626
KIND OF RILED UP.

214
00:04:59,710 --> 00:05:00,668
HERE, HAVE A HOT TOWEL.

215
00:05:00,751 --> 00:05:01,960
♪ HOT TOWELS, HOT COCOA, AND

216
00:05:02,043 --> 00:05:02,751
MARSHMALL-OOH ♪

217
00:05:02,835 --> 00:05:03,793
[ Normal voice ] YOU'RE THE

218
00:05:03,876 --> 00:05:04,960
BACKUP I ASKED FOR, RIGHT?

219
00:05:05,043 --> 00:05:06,001
WHAT ARE YOU? CIA? FBI?

220
00:05:06,085 --> 00:05:07,168
>> Xavier: I'M INVESTIGATING FOR

221
00:05:07,251 --> 00:05:08,043
A HIGHER POWER.

222
00:05:08,126 --> 00:05:09,210
>> I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH YOU'VE

223
00:05:09,293 --> 00:05:10,543
BEEN BRIEFED, BUT I'VE BEEN ON

224
00:05:10,626 --> 00:05:11,710
THE INSIDE TRACKING DON HO

225
00:05:11,793 --> 00:05:12,460
UNDERCOVER 12 YEARS.

226
00:05:12,543 --> 00:05:13,418
I'M THIS CLOSE TO HIS BIG

227
00:05:13,501 --> 00:05:14,168
SECRET.

228
00:05:14,251 --> 00:05:15,251
OBVIOUSLY, I MADE SOME BAD

229
00:05:15,085 --> 00:05:16,043
DECISIONS ON MY FIRST DAY, AND

230
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I'VE JUST HAD TO STICK WITH

231
00:05:17,126 --> 00:05:17,918
THEM.

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I WAS A HOTSHOT KID JUST OUT OF

233
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THE ACADEMY, AND THEY DIDN'T

234
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GIVE US ENOUGH ON CHARACTER

235
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DEVELOPMENT, SO I WAS JUST

236
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FREE-BALLING IT.

237
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I STARTED THIS SINGING-HENCHMAN

238
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THING OUT OF NERVOUSNESS, AND

239
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THEN THE CANDY THING JUST

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HAPPENED.

241
00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:26,835
I SEE YOU'VE MADE SOME BAD

242
00:05:26,918 --> 00:05:27,626
CHOICES, TOO.

243
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YOU GOT THE FUR AND THE FAKE

244
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SNAKE HAND.

245
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WAIT. YOU'RE NOT A COP.

246
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[ High-pitched voice ] ♪ OOH,

247
00:05:32,585 --> 00:05:33,460
CANDY AND GOO ♪

248
00:05:33,543 --> 00:05:34,668
♪ LOVIN' CHOCO-MOO ♪

249
00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:36,126
♪ YUMMY-YUM-YUM COOKIE, WHOO ♪

250
00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:37,460
>> YOU STILL SINGING?

251
00:05:37,543 --> 00:05:39,043
>> NO, BOSS, I STOPPED SINGING

252
00:05:39,126 --> 00:05:40,210
SOME TIME AGO.

253
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♪ WHOA ♪

254
00:05:41,168 --> 00:05:42,043
>> Xavier: I JUST PUT THE PIECES

255
00:05:42,126 --> 00:05:43,501
TOGETHER ABOUT WHAT'S REALLY

256
00:05:43,585 --> 00:05:45,210
GOING ON HERE -- A "DON," THE

257
00:05:45,043 --> 00:05:47,418
"PROTECTION BUSINESS," "COPS."

258
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THE COPS MIGHT HAVE INFO ABOUT

259
00:05:49,001 --> 00:05:50,210
THE CASE OF THE CHICKEN-CHOKER.

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WE OUGHT TO SQUEEZE THE COPS AND

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00:05:51,876 --> 00:05:53,835
SEE WHAT GREASE SQUEEZES OUT.

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00:05:53,918 --> 00:05:54,918
>> I THINK I GET IT.

263
00:05:55,001 --> 00:05:56,376
WE PUT THE SQUEEZE ON THE COPS.

264
00:05:56,460 --> 00:05:58,001
YOU'RE SO SMART, I'M GETTING A

265
00:05:58,085 --> 00:05:59,168
SMARD-ON -- SZECHUAN BEEF!

266
00:05:59,251 --> 00:06:00,710
>> Xavier: YOU DISTRACT THEM,

267
00:06:00,793 --> 00:06:02,210
AND I'LL PEEP-PEEP THROUGH THEIR

268
00:06:02,293 --> 00:06:03,293
FILES.

269
00:06:03,376 --> 00:06:04,793
>> GOOD AFTERNOON, OFFICERS.

270
00:06:04,876 --> 00:06:06,210
>> HEY, LOOK, IT'S DALE FROM

271
00:06:06,043 --> 00:06:07,043
THAT UNDERCOVER THING.

272
00:06:07,126 --> 00:06:08,501
>> ♪ CANDY AND GOO AND DON'T

273
00:06:08,585 --> 00:06:09,293
TALK-A-LOO ♪

274
00:06:09,376 --> 00:06:10,710
>> DON'T CUT THEIR HEADS OFF

275
00:06:10,793 --> 00:06:11,501
JUST YET, GRACI.

276
00:06:11,585 --> 00:06:12,501
>> CHICKEN, CHICKEN.

277
00:06:12,585 --> 00:06:13,960
>> [ Lisping ] YOUSE GUYS GOTS

278
00:06:14,043 --> 00:06:15,210
YOURSELVES SOME REAL NICE

279
00:06:15,043 --> 00:06:16,918
LAW-ENFORCEMENT FACILITIES HERE.

280
00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:18,251
IT'D BE A SHAME IF SOMEONE

281
00:06:18,335 --> 00:06:19,585
SLOBBERED ALL OVER IT.

282
00:06:19,668 --> 00:06:21,085
MAYBE IF YOU GIVE TO MY FUND,

283
00:06:21,168 --> 00:06:22,751
THERE WON'T BE ANY CRIME OR

284
00:06:22,835 --> 00:06:24,085
EXTORTION RIGHT AROUND HERE.

285
00:06:24,168 --> 00:06:25,085
>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE

286
00:06:25,168 --> 00:06:26,543
TALKING ABOUT, BUT I'LL PAY YOU

287
00:06:26,626 --> 00:06:28,168
MONEY TO STOP SPITTING ON ME.

288
00:06:28,251 --> 00:06:29,501
>> Xavier: BINGO-DOODLE-DOO.

289
00:06:29,585 --> 00:06:31,085
NO QUESTION MY DETECTIVE WORK

290
00:06:31,168 --> 00:06:31,876
PAID OFF.

291
00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:33,085
>> [ Normal voice ] ME LIKEE

292
00:06:33,168 --> 00:06:33,960
YOUR STYLE.

293
00:06:34,043 --> 00:06:35,168
>> Xavier: WAIT -- THE FILE SAYS

294
00:06:35,251 --> 00:06:36,585
"CHICKEN" CHIKOWSKI IS DEAD.

295
00:06:36,668 --> 00:06:38,043
HE'S TRYING TO KILL YOU FROM THE

296
00:06:38,126 --> 00:06:39,126
AFTERLIFE.

297
00:06:39,210 --> 00:06:40,543
HOW DO YOU KILL A DEAD KILLER?

298
00:06:40,626 --> 00:06:41,460
YOU CAN'T.

299
00:06:41,543 --> 00:06:43,168
YOU HAVE TO CHANGE HIS MIND, GO

300
00:06:43,251 --> 00:06:44,835
TALK SOME SENSE INTO HIM ON THE

301
00:06:44,918 --> 00:06:45,668
OTHER SIDE.

302
00:06:45,751 --> 00:06:47,335
>> YEAH, TALKING SENSE INTO

303
00:06:47,418 --> 00:06:49,168
PEOPLE FROM ANOTHER REALM.

304
00:06:49,251 --> 00:06:50,835
THAT'S SOME REAL UNEXPLORED

305
00:06:50,918 --> 00:06:51,710
TURF.

306
00:06:51,793 --> 00:06:52,585
>> Xavier: OKAY, SHOVE THE BONE

307
00:06:52,668 --> 00:06:53,835
IN YOUR THROAT, AND WHEN YOU SAY

308
00:06:53,918 --> 00:06:55,960
THE SIX CODE WORDS, I'LL BLOW.

309
00:06:56,043 --> 00:06:58,418
>> [ GASPING ]

310
00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:00,043
THIS IS A GLORIOUS AND LOVING

311
00:07:00,126 --> 00:07:01,876
LIGHT YOU GOT UP IN HERE.

312
00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:03,668
IT SURE WOULD BE A SHAME IF THIS

313
00:07:03,751 --> 00:07:05,501
HEAVENLY LIGHT WERE TO BE SHAMED

314
00:07:05,585 --> 00:07:07,168
RIGHT UP YOUR GENITALIA.

315
00:07:07,251 --> 00:07:08,918
SO YOU JUST SIT TIGHT WHILE I

316
00:07:09,001 --> 00:07:10,001
TAKE MY CUT.

317
00:07:10,085 --> 00:07:11,501
THE SIX CODE WORDS!

318
00:07:11,585 --> 00:07:13,835
THIS IS JUST THE FIRST CHAPTER

319
00:07:13,918 --> 00:07:15,460
IN NEAR-DEATH EXTORTIONISM.

320
00:07:15,543 --> 00:07:17,168
I'M GONNA BE THE GUY BEHIND THE

321
00:07:17,251 --> 00:07:18,293
GUY BEYOND THE GRAVE.

322
00:07:18,376 --> 00:07:20,085
BEST PART IS, THE COPS CAN'T

323
00:07:20,168 --> 00:07:21,668
TOUCH ME -- NO JURISDICTION.

324
00:07:21,751 --> 00:07:23,668
YOU'RE A REAL WISE GUY.

325
00:07:23,751 --> 00:07:24,918
>> Xavier: SO DISGRACIO CAN'T

326
00:07:25,001 --> 00:07:26,126
GO, 'CAUSE HE'S A COP?

327
00:07:26,210 --> 00:07:27,585
>> WHAT ARE YOU REVEALING TO ME?

328
00:07:27,668 --> 00:07:29,168
HE'S A RAT? BREAKS MY HEART.

329
00:07:29,251 --> 00:07:30,418
HEY, DISGRACIO, I GOT YOU A

330
00:07:30,501 --> 00:07:32,168
NICE, BIG PIECE OF CANDY, RIGHT

331
00:07:32,251 --> 00:07:33,043
THROUGH THERE.

332
00:07:33,126 --> 00:07:34,210
>> ♪ CANDY IS YUMMY, ALL IN

333
00:07:34,293 --> 00:07:35,793
MY TUMMY, YES, CANDY IS -- ♪

334
00:07:35,876 --> 00:07:37,210
[ Normal voice ] OH, FUDGE.

335
00:07:37,043 --> 00:07:38,418
>> Xavier: DISCRACI-- NO!

336
00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:40,501
WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DIED TO

337
00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:41,251
HIM?

338
00:07:41,085 --> 00:07:42,376
WHO IS THOSE?

339
00:07:42,460 --> 00:07:44,126
>> MY ANCIENT CHITALIANESE

340
00:07:44,210 --> 00:07:44,960
SECRET.

341
00:07:45,043 --> 00:07:46,376
I'VE BEEN RAISING THE ULTIMATE

342
00:07:46,460 --> 00:07:48,085
HIT MAN FROM THE TIME HE WAS A

343
00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:49,126
BABY.

344
00:07:49,210 --> 00:07:50,460
I TAUGHT HIM TO KILL WITHOUT

345
00:07:50,543 --> 00:07:52,376
CONSCIENCE -- RAISED ON HATE IN

346
00:07:52,460 --> 00:07:53,710
FILTH AND DARKNESS.

347
00:07:53,793 --> 00:07:55,376
AND I FED HIM ONLY LIZARDS,

348
00:07:55,460 --> 00:07:57,418
PARAMECIUM, AND STARFISH LIVERS,

349
00:07:57,501 --> 00:07:59,376
ALL REGENERATIVE ANIMALS, SO HE

350
00:07:59,460 --> 00:08:00,626
CAN HEAL HIMSELF.

351
00:08:00,710 --> 00:08:01,376
LOOK.

352
00:08:01,460 --> 00:08:03,085
THERE'S ONLY ONE PROBLEM.

353
00:08:03,168 --> 00:08:05,418
HE DOESN'T LIKE HIS LIFE.

354
00:08:05,501 --> 00:08:07,168
BUT I DON'T CARE, SEEING AS HOW

355
00:08:07,251 --> 00:08:08,293
I'M IN THE MAFIA.

356
00:08:08,376 --> 00:08:10,251
>> Xavier: YOU'RE IN THE MOB?!

357
00:08:10,085 --> 00:08:11,835
NO WONDER I DIDN'T SUSPECT A

358
00:08:11,918 --> 00:08:12,710
THING.

359
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:14,668
WELL, YOUR BUTT HOLE CAN KISS MY

360
00:08:14,751 --> 00:08:15,501
LIPS GOODBYE.

361
00:08:15,585 --> 00:08:16,918
>> I CAN GET ANYONE TO TAKE ME

362
00:08:17,001 --> 00:08:17,835
TO THE OTHER SIDE.

363
00:08:17,918 --> 00:08:19,085
AND WITH ALL THIS AFTERLIGHT,

364
00:08:19,168 --> 00:08:21,210
I'M GONNA BE THE DON OF DEATH.

365
00:08:21,085 --> 00:08:22,876
>> Xavier: IF YOU DOUGHNUT STAY

366
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:24,501
AWAY FROM DEATH, THEN I'LL MAKE

367
00:08:24,585 --> 00:08:27,043
YOU CHOKE ON THE HOLE.

368
00:08:27,126 --> 00:08:28,751
>> I SEE THE LIGHT FLASHING

369
00:08:28,835 --> 00:08:30,168
BEFORE MY EYES -- ALL THE

370
00:08:30,251 --> 00:08:32,210
KILLING I DONE, ALL THE PAIN I

371
00:08:32,043 --> 00:08:33,085
CAUSED.

372
00:08:33,168 --> 00:08:34,543
I'VE DISRESPECTED THE UNIVERSAL

373
00:08:34,626 --> 00:08:35,335
LAW OF LOVE.

374
00:08:35,418 --> 00:08:36,918
>> Xavier: TO WIN THE GAME.

375
00:08:37,001 --> 00:08:38,376
>> I'M GONNA GIVE AWAY ALL MY

376
00:08:38,460 --> 00:08:40,043
THINGS AND DEVOTE MY LIFE TO

377
00:08:40,126 --> 00:08:40,918
SPREADING JOY.

378
00:08:41,001 --> 00:08:42,335
>> Xavier: JUST BLOW, HOSER.

379
00:08:42,418 --> 00:08:44,043
I'VE GOT TO REHABILITATE THIS

380
00:08:44,126 --> 00:08:45,043
BEASTLET.

381
00:08:45,126 --> 00:08:46,126
ENCHANTé.

382
00:08:46,210 --> 00:08:47,918
I AM YOUR MENTAL MENTOR, YOUR

383
00:08:48,001 --> 00:08:49,835
SENSEI OF THE SENSES, HERE TO

384
00:08:49,918 --> 00:08:51,626
TEACH YOU THE WAYS OF LIFE,

385
00:08:51,710 --> 00:08:52,501
LOVE, CULTURE.

386
00:08:52,585 --> 00:08:54,126
LET'S START WITH EARLY MATISSE.

387
00:08:54,210 --> 00:08:56,043
DO YOU FIND THE GAR MANGE OF HIS

388
00:08:56,126 --> 00:08:57,543
LINES TO BE DERIVATIVE OF THE

389
00:08:57,626 --> 00:08:59,043
NEOCLASSICISTS IN THEIR PASTEL

390
00:08:59,126 --> 00:08:59,835
INSOUCIANCE?

391
00:08:59,918 --> 00:09:00,710
>> UGH!

392
00:09:00,793 --> 00:09:01,585
>> Xavier: I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

393
00:09:01,668 --> 00:09:02,751
YOU MEAN, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU

394
00:09:02,835 --> 00:09:03,543
MEAN."

395
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:04,626
I SHALL TEACH YOU TO SPEAK.

396
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:06,168
I'M A GREAT ENGLISH TEACHULATOR.

397
00:09:06,251 --> 00:09:07,460
YOU WANT ME TO TIT YOU?

398
00:09:07,543 --> 00:09:08,585
ONE GRUNT FOR "YES."

399
00:09:08,668 --> 00:09:09,376
>> UGH! UGH!

400
00:09:09,460 --> 00:09:10,751
>> Xavier: OOH, YOU WANT IT

401
00:09:10,835 --> 00:09:11,626
DOUBLE BAD, HUH?

402
00:09:11,710 --> 00:09:13,710
OKAY, TWO GRUNTS WILL MEAN "NO."

403
00:09:13,793 --> 00:09:15,085
THREE GRUNTS MEANS "CHEESE."

404
00:09:15,168 --> 00:09:16,001
CAN YOU SAY CHEESE?

405
00:09:16,085 --> 00:09:16,835
>> UGH! UGH! UGH!

406
00:09:16,918 --> 00:09:17,918
>> Xavier: I'VE GOT TO

407
00:09:18,001 --> 00:09:19,460
PRIORITIZE THESE WORDS RIGHT.

408
00:09:19,543 --> 00:09:21,210
LET'S SEE -- FOUR GRUNTS WILL

409
00:09:21,043 --> 00:09:22,001
MEAN "PRIORITIZE."

410
00:09:22,085 --> 00:09:23,001
>> UGH! UGH! UGH! UGH!

411
00:09:23,085 --> 00:09:24,085
>> Xavier: AND THAT'S HOW YOU

412
00:09:24,168 --> 00:09:25,043
SAY "CLOCK."

413
00:09:25,126 --> 00:09:27,126
WELL, I THINK I TAUGHT YOU EVERY

414
00:09:27,210 --> 00:09:29,460
WORD AND STRETCH THERE IS.

415
00:09:29,543 --> 00:09:30,043
SAY CHEESE.

416
00:09:30,126 --> 00:09:31,168
>> UGH! UGH! UGH!

417
00:09:31,251 --> 00:09:32,001
>> Xavier: SO, WHAT DO YOU WANT

418
00:09:32,085 --> 00:09:32,793
TO DO NOW?

419
00:09:32,876 --> 00:09:33,668
>> UGH! UGH! UGH! UGH! UGH!

420
00:09:33,751 --> 00:09:34,710
>> Xavier: WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO

421
00:09:34,793 --> 00:09:37,085
COMMIT SUICIDE?!

422
00:09:37,168 --> 00:09:38,460
I KNOW YOU CRAVE RELEASE FROM

423
00:09:38,543 --> 00:09:40,043
YOUR MISERY, BUT YOU'VE JUST

424
00:09:40,126 --> 00:09:41,168
DOUBLED YOUR DEPRESSION.

425
00:09:41,251 --> 00:09:43,001
[ CHAIN SAW BUZZES ]

426
00:09:43,085 --> 00:09:44,668
YOU'VE JUST QUADRUPLED YOUR

427
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:45,418
SQUAGMIRE.

428
00:09:45,501 --> 00:09:47,001
[ MACHINE HUMMING ]

429
00:09:47,085 --> 00:09:49,043
YOUR IMMORTALITY IS A CURSED

430
00:09:49,126 --> 00:09:49,835
CAGE.

431
00:09:49,918 --> 00:09:51,585
DEATH IS THE GIFT YOU SHAN'T

432
00:09:51,668 --> 00:09:52,085
RECEIVE.

433
00:09:52,168 --> 00:09:53,043
[ ALL GRUNTING ]

434
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:54,418
>> Xavier: WHAT'S THAT?

435
00:09:54,501 --> 00:09:56,168
YOU WANT TO KILL THE ARCHITECT

436
00:09:56,251 --> 00:09:58,001
OF YOUR INESQUAPABLE DESPAIR?

437
00:09:58,085 --> 00:09:59,251
HE ALREADY APOLO-JIZZED.

438
00:09:59,335 --> 00:10:01,043
I VOWED TO PROTECT THAT MAFIOSO,

439
00:10:01,126 --> 00:10:02,126
HELP ME.

440
00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:03,751
HELP IS ON MY WAY, AND I'LL BE

441
00:10:03,835 --> 00:10:06,001
RIGHT BEHIND ME.

442
00:10:06,085 --> 00:10:08,918
[ GRUNTING CONTINUES ]

443
00:10:16,085 --> 00:10:18,085
OOH, I CAME AS SOON AS I COULD.

444
00:10:18,168 --> 00:10:19,876
>> WHY AM I HITTING MYSELF?

445
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:21,460
WHY AM I HITTING MYSELF?

446
00:10:21,543 --> 00:10:22,876
>> Xavier: OH, NO.

447
00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:26,085
IT'S AN INSIDE JOB.

448
00:10:26,168 --> 00:10:27,918
I TOLD YOU SOMEONE WAS OUT TO

449
00:10:28,001 --> 00:10:28,793
KILL YOU.

450
00:10:28,876 --> 00:10:30,626
THIS IS WHAT THE TANDEM CYCLE OF

451
00:10:30,710 --> 00:10:32,335
RANDOM VIOLENCE BREEDS -- A

452
00:10:32,418 --> 00:10:34,376
VENGEFUL BLACK HIT SLUDGE WITH A

453
00:10:34,460 --> 00:10:36,293
GRUDGE HATH WROUGHT THE REAPER

454
00:10:36,376 --> 00:10:38,168
YOU'VE SEWN IN THE GOO OF YOUR

455
00:10:38,251 --> 00:10:40,043
GUILT, AS THE CRèME DE YOUR

456
00:10:40,126 --> 00:10:41,960
KHARMA IS ROOSTING HOME TO HARM

457
00:10:42,043 --> 00:10:42,751
YA.

458
00:10:42,835 --> 00:10:43,918
IT ALWAYS ENDS UP BONING THE

459
00:10:44,001 --> 00:10:44,710
POOR.

460
00:10:44,793 --> 00:10:45,918
>> HE'S PULLING ME BACK IN.

461
00:10:46,001 --> 00:10:47,376
I WANT TO MAKE YOU AN OFFER.

462
00:10:47,460 --> 00:10:49,501
WITH YOUR GOO POWER AND MY CRIME

463
00:10:49,585 --> 00:10:51,501
SMARTS, WE COULD MUSCLE ALL OF

464
00:10:51,585 --> 00:10:53,543
COSMIC CONSCIOUSNESS TO MAKE US

465
00:10:53,626 --> 00:10:55,126
RICH BEYOND BELIEFS.

466
00:10:55,210 --> 00:10:58,043
WHAT DO YOU SAY? PARTNERS?

467
00:11:03,085 --> 00:11:05,168
>> Xavier: YOU GOT YOUR GIFT

468
00:11:05,251 --> 00:11:06,460
AFTER ALL, KID.

469
00:11:06,543 --> 00:11:08,418
HAPPY DEATH DAY.

470
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:09,960
I'VE GOT YOUR GIFT. IT'S MINE.

471
00:11:10,043 --> 00:11:11,210
I'LL NEVER LET GO.

472
00:11:11,043 --> 00:11:12,293
I'LL NEVER LET GO.

473
00:11:12,376 --> 00:11:15,668
I'LL NEVER LET GO.

474
00:11:15,751 --> 00:11:17,335
>> [ SIGHS ]