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>> Xavier: EVERY ONCE IN A
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WORLD, THE BIG CHEESE LAYS A
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GRAND ONE ON THIS PLANET.
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I DISCOVERED I WAS THAT
5
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GLOBULAR GIFT AS A WEE LAD WHEN
6
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I WAS ENDOWED WITH A COSMIC
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VISIT FROM THE ENLIGHTENED ONE
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WHO REVEALED THIS MEATY
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PENDULOUS THING TO ME.
10
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BUT I CAN'T REMEMBER HOW IT WENT
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DOWN.
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SO, FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE I
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WAS A TEEN [MUMBLES] YEARS AGO,
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I'VE CHOSEN TO RETURN TO THE
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LOCATION OF MY CHILDHOOD
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HOME.
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I SUPPOSE IT'S CHANGED IN SOME
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WAYS.
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I STILL MEMBERIZE MY FIRST DAY
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IN THIS OLD HOUSE.
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>> MAMA! I FOUND YOU!
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YOU MUST HAVE BEEN WORRIED SICK
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WHEN YOU REALIZED YOU LEFT ME
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BACK IN CANADA.
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>> HONEY! HE FOUND US AGAIN!
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COME ON IN...
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DEMON CHILD.
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>> Xavier: IT WARMS THE LOINS OF
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MY HEART GROIN.
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THIS IS THE CRUCIBLE OF
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NOBILITY'S GUARDIAN, THE CRADLE
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OF HUMANITY'S HOLIEST HERO.
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>> COME ON, GUYS, LET ME HEAR
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YA HOOT FOR THE BELLY FRUIT.
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CELEBRATE THE LACTATE.
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A WOMAN'S NEVER HOTTER WHEN
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SHE'S JIGGLIN' THAT BABY BUMP,
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PLUMP WITH LIFE CORKIN' UP HER
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LADY PIPES.
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BIG PAPA DICK'S ON THE MIKE, THE
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HONKY-TONK DON'T STOP, AND THESE
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BULGIN' BABES ARE READY TO DROP.
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BEST BE TIPPIN' FOR TWO, 'CAUSE
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THEY BE STRIPPIN' FOR TWO, AND
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EVERY LAP DANCE IS A THREE-WAY.
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THAT TUMMY SQUIRREL TRYIN' TO
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GET A NUT?
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BEER NUTS AVAILABLE AT THE BAR.
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IF YOU LIKE OUR HOT THINGS, TRY
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OUR HOT WINGS.
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AT A PENNY A BITE, IT'S GOT TO
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GO RIGHT.
53
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TURTLING TARA'S IN HER THIRD
54
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TRIMESTER.
55
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AND TRY MUSTARD ON OUR SOFT
56
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PRETZELS, AVAILABLE AT THE BAR.
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>> Xavier: THAT'S WHERE MY
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KITCHEN TABLE WAS.
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>> THANKS, MOMMY.
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I MADE YOU ANOTHER DRAWING.
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>> AAH!
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DEMON CHILD.
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>> Xavier: I USED TO DRAW SWEET
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CUDDLECRUMBS TO RETREAT INTO MY
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HAPPY WITTLE WORLD.
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>> PEGGY PREGASAURUS -- SHE'S
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812 MONTHS PREGNANT.
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GET A LAP DANCE BEFORE HER BABY
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DIES OF OLD AGE IN UTERO.
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HER SUGAR WALLS ARE PACKED TO
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THE GILLS LIKE SEXY SARDINES IN
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THE HOT BRINE OF FATHER TIME.
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FISH STICKS AVAILABLE AT THE
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BAR.
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>> Xavier: THAT'S WHERE I TOOK
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MY BATHSSSSSSSSSSS.
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>> OH, MOMMY!
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SOMETHING HIT ME IN THE HEAD!
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>> YOU'RE JUST IMAGINING THINGS.
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>> WE GOT THE SIAMESE TWINS
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CONJOINED AT THE WOMB, PREGNANT
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WITH SIAMESE TRIPLETS CONJOINED
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AT THE BOOM.
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AND SEE THESE LUMPY LOVELIES
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THROW THEIR LUSCIOUS MORNIN'
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THICKNESS ON THE MECHANICAL
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BULL, THE MECHANICAL MAN, AND
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THE MECHANICAL CAT.
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THAT PAWS IS A REAL MOTHER
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BUCKER.
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>> Xavier: THAT'S WHERE MY
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MECHANICAL CAT WAS.
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>> XAVIER! GET OFF THE CAT!
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>> THESE CHICKS ARE CRAVIN'
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PICKLES, SO GET YOUR PECK, OR
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OFF A PILE OF OUR HOT PICKLED
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WING-THING PICKLE POPPERS,
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AVAILABLE AT THE BAR.
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>> Xavier: AND MY BEDROOM WAS
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OVER THERE.
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GET AWAY FROM MY DOLLHOUSE!
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YOU'RE STEPPING ALL OVER MY
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DOLLIES!
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>> FREAK!
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WE'S TRYIN' TO GET OUR FIGHT ON!
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>> LET'S SET ASIDE OUR
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DIFFERENCE AND POUND THIS CHUMP
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FOR BEIN' DIFFERENCE.
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TAKE THAT!
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>> TASTE THE PAIN!
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>> YOU ALL RIGHT.
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I FORGIVE YOU FOR STICKIN' IT IN
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MY WIFE.
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>> SHOOT, I ONLY DONE IT 'CAUSE
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I JEALOUS OF THE LOVE YOU SHARE.
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IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
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>> COME HERE.
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>> COULD YOU BE THE ONE?
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>> Xavier: WHAT'S WRONG, MY
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CHILD?
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YOU FEEL LIKE A MAN -- OOH --
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WHO NEEDS MY HELP.
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>> COME HERE FOR A SEC.
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>> IT'S MY BABY!
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>> THE BABY'S MINE!
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>> I PREGGOED HER!
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>> Xavier: OOH! PEEP SHOW!
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>> SHOOT, WHAT SAY WE SHARE THE
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BABY?
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LET'S ALL GET A BEER AND TALK
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ABOUT HOW WE'RE GONNA BREAK IT
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TO OUR UNBORNEDED THAT HE GOT
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EIGHT DADDIES WHO LOVE EACH
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OTHER VERY MUCH.
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>> EVERY ONCE IN A WORLD,
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SOMEONE COMES ALONG WHO'S SO
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INFURIATIN', NO ONE CAN BE
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VIOLENT TO ANYTHIN' ELSE AROUND
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HIM -- A COOLER.
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YOU GOT THE GIFT, FREAK.
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IF YOU STICK AROUND AND BE MY
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BOUNCER, YOU'D BE DOIN' ME A
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FINE FLAVOR.
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[ Amplified ] WE GOT 31 FLAVORS
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AVAILABLE AT THE BAR.
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>> Xavier: I'LL BE YOUR VIOLENCE
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ABSORBER, YOUR COSMIC SPONGE OF
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AGGRESSION, SUCKING OFF ALL THE
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MACHISMO YOU CAN SPLOOT MY WAY.
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I'LL LET THESE KIT SHICKERS KIT
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THE SHICK OUT OF ME AND THEN
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LET THEM SHOVE THE CACK OF THEIR
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HUMAN SHICK IN MY FACE.
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I'LL LET THEM ALL BEAT THE
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BEJESUS OUT OF ME AND THEN RUB
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THE BEJEEZ INTO MY HAIR.
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I'LL TAKE YOUR LICKS AND BOUNCE
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FOR YOU.
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>> SO YOU DON'T WANT TO DO IT?
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>> Xavier: NO! I'M IN!
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>> [ Amplified ] WE'RE GONNA
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STAY OPEN, FOLKS!
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[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
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I'M SO GLAD THIS PLACE AIN'T
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GONNA SHUT DOWN.
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NOW MY DREAM MIGHT COME TRUE.
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I ALWAYS KNEW THERE'S NOTHIN'
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MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN A WOMAN
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PLUMP WITH CHILD.
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I WANT TO GET A OPERATION TO
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BECOME BIG MAMA DICK AND
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EXPERIENCE THAT JOY.
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I SAVED MY SPERM, AND ONCE I
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IMPREGNATE MY WOMAN-SELF, I'LL
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GIVE BIRTH TO BABY PAPA DICK AND
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GIVE HIM A SEX-CHANGE OPERATION
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TO BECOME BABY MAMA DICK SO HE
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CAN GIVE BIRTH TO ME.
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IT'S A SIMPLE DREAM, AND I DO
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BELIEVE AMERICA -- THAT'S WHAT
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HE/SHE'S ABOUT.
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>> Xavier: GLAD I COULD BE OF
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[SNIFFS] CERVIX?
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>> WHY DON'T YOU GO HIT THE
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BREAK WOMB?
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>> I THINKIN' ABOUT GETTIN' MY
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BABY BUMP PIERCED.
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HEAR IT HEIGHTENS SOMETHIN'
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CALLED A ORGASM, IN THE BABY.
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>> Y'ALL HEAR SHIRELLE GOT
191
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FIRED?
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TURNS OUT SHE WASN'T REALLY
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PREGNANT.
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IT WAS ONE OF THEM PHANTOM
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PREGNANCIES, PSYCHOSOMATIC-LIKE.
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>> SHE WAS SO SURE SHE WAS
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PREGGER, SHE SWOLLED UP WITH A
198
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PHANTOM BELLY.
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I HEARD SHE EVEN GAVE BIRTH TO
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THE PHANTOM BABY.
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>> THEY SAY HER PHANTOM BABY
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STILL LURKS AMONG THESE WALLS,
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ANGRY ITS MAMA GOT FIRED JUST
204
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'CAUSE IT DON'T EXIST.
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00:04:49,293 --> 00:04:50,001
>> WHOA.
206
00:04:50,085 --> 00:04:51,210
[ THUMPING ]
207
00:04:51,043 --> 00:04:52,251
UH-OH. HE'S KICKING.
208
00:04:52,335 --> 00:04:54,126
>> Xavier: LADIES.
209
00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:55,626
THAT'S WHERE MOMMY'S BEDROOM
210
00:04:55,710 --> 00:04:57,251
USED TO BE.
211
00:04:57,085 --> 00:04:59,251
AWW, LOOK AT MY SWEET MOTHER --
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SO PEACEFUL WHEN SHE'S SLEEPING.
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00:05:01,251 --> 00:05:02,210
>> MOMMY!
214
00:05:02,043 --> 00:05:03,543
I MADE YOU ANOTHER DRAWING!
215
00:05:03,626 --> 00:05:04,751
>> MONSTER CHILD...
216
00:05:04,835 --> 00:05:05,918
>> WHAT'S...HAPPENING?
217
00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:06,835
>> MONSTER CHILD!
218
00:05:06,918 --> 00:05:07,876
>> IT'S SCARY, MOMMY.
219
00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:09,293
>> Xavier: GO ON -- CARESS HER
220
00:05:09,376 --> 00:05:10,085
FACE, BOY.
221
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STROKE HER TENDER, SUCCULENT
222
00:05:11,543 --> 00:05:12,376
SKIN, YOU IDIOT!
223
00:05:12,460 --> 00:05:13,501
THIS IS YOUR CHANCE!
224
00:05:13,585 --> 00:05:15,251
I WISH I COULD TALK TO MY YOUNG
225
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SELF.
226
00:05:16,126 --> 00:05:17,251
WAIT -- IF I SIMPLY REMEMBER
227
00:05:17,085 --> 00:05:18,626
THAT I DID TALK TO MY YOUNG
228
00:05:18,710 --> 00:05:20,126
SELF, THAT MEANS IT WILL HAVE
229
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HAD HAPPENED.
230
00:05:21,043 --> 00:05:22,043
HMM.
231
00:05:22,126 --> 00:05:23,210
I REMEMBER THAT I APPEARED IN
232
00:05:23,043 --> 00:05:24,876
FRONT OF MYSELF, AND I SAID, "GO
233
00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:26,293
ON -- TOUCH HER, TOUCH HER."
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>> [ GASPS ] WHO ARE YOU?!
235
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,460
>> Xavier: THIS MAY BE THE LAST
236
00:05:29,543 --> 00:05:31,210
TIME YOU GET TO TOUCH YOUR
237
00:05:31,043 --> 00:05:32,918
MOTHER, BECAUSE SHE'S GOING TO
238
00:05:33,001 --> 00:05:34,210
DIE!
239
00:05:34,085 --> 00:05:35,876
SHE'S OBVIOUSLY BEING PLAGUED BY
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SOME SORT OF DEMON.
241
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SHE'S VULNERABLE.
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SO YOU HAVE TO CONSTANTLY BE
243
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THERE WITH HER.
244
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SMOTHER YOUR MOTHER.
245
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SMOMMY OUR MOMMY WITH PERPETUAL
246
00:05:43,251 --> 00:05:44,960
PROTECTIONATING AND NEVER LET
247
00:05:45,043 --> 00:05:46,543
HER OOT FROM UNDER THE CRAB
248
00:05:46,626 --> 00:05:48,251
SHELL OF YOUR MUNIFICENT VICE
249
00:05:48,335 --> 00:05:50,168
GRIP FOR EVEN A NANO-TICOND OR A
250
00:05:50,251 --> 00:05:51,168
SUBTONK.
251
00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:52,168
>> BUT HOW CAN I DO THAT?
252
00:05:52,251 --> 00:05:53,043
I'M JUST A KID.
253
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>> Xavier: LET'S SCRAM OUT OF
254
00:05:54,793 --> 00:05:56,085
HERE, AND I'LL SHOW YOU.
255
00:05:56,168 --> 00:05:57,751
GUARDIANING ISN'T HERE.
256
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IT'S UP HERE AND HERE.
257
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YOU'RE JUST A DULL LUMP OF CLAY,
258
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AND I MUST SCULPT AND MOLD YOU
259
00:06:03,501 --> 00:06:06,043
INTO MY HOMAGE -- THE GREATEST
260
00:06:06,126 --> 00:06:07,793
MINDER KNOWN TO MAN.
261
00:06:07,876 --> 00:06:09,043
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON THE
262
00:06:09,126 --> 00:06:09,876
PUTT-PUTT?!
263
00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:10,793
>> Xavier: LET'S GET THE HELL
264
00:06:10,876 --> 00:06:11,543
OUT OF HERE!
265
00:06:11,626 --> 00:06:13,043
YOUR MIND AND BODY MUST BE
266
00:06:13,126 --> 00:06:13,876
QUICK.
267
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:15,293
KEEP TRYING TO PUNCH YOURSELF.
268
00:06:15,376 --> 00:06:17,251
SEE HOW QUICK I AM?
269
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:18,001
OH!
270
00:06:18,085 --> 00:06:20,126
DIDN'T EVEN SEE ME COMING.
271
00:06:20,210 --> 00:06:22,251
THIS JOURNEY IS DEVOTED TOWARDS
272
00:06:22,085 --> 00:06:24,210
UNTEACHING YOU TO UNLEARN ALL
273
00:06:24,043 --> 00:06:25,001
YOU KNOW.
274
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:26,293
RATHER, THIS NON-JOURNEY ISN'T
275
00:06:26,376 --> 00:06:27,710
REVOTED DISTOWARDS COMEGOING
276
00:06:27,793 --> 00:06:29,251
AWAY, FROM, TO, IN, OUT, OVER,
277
00:06:29,085 --> 00:06:30,168
UNDER FORMEMBERGETTING.
278
00:06:30,251 --> 00:06:31,251
WHOA!
279
00:06:31,085 --> 00:06:32,210
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU?
280
00:06:32,043 --> 00:06:33,376
>> HEY! GET OUT OF MY STORE!
281
00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:35,168
>> Xavier: YOU HAVE TO BE SO
282
00:06:35,251 --> 00:06:36,751
ZEN, YOU CAN MAKE WEAK MINDS
283
00:06:36,835 --> 00:06:38,543
CRUMBLE AT YOUR POTENT THOUGHTS.
284
00:06:38,626 --> 00:06:40,168
>> HOW WOULD SOMEONE DO THAT?
285
00:06:40,251 --> 00:06:42,210
>> Xavier: YOU'VE GOT THE GIFT.
286
00:06:42,043 --> 00:06:43,710
CONTEMPLATE EXISTENCE!
287
00:06:43,793 --> 00:06:45,001
PONDER INFINITY!
288
00:06:45,085 --> 00:06:46,168
PONDER HARDER!
289
00:06:46,251 --> 00:06:47,501
I'VE SEEN DEEPER REPOSE ON A
290
00:06:47,585 --> 00:06:48,376
DEAD DONKEY!
291
00:06:48,460 --> 00:06:49,918
I'M GOING TO WORK YOU TILL YOUR
292
00:06:50,001 --> 00:06:51,210
BODY IS CUT LIKE AN OX.
293
00:06:51,043 --> 00:06:52,251
GONNA BE MONTHS OF HARD,
294
00:06:52,335 --> 00:06:53,835
GRUELING -- I'M GETTING TIRED
295
00:06:53,918 --> 00:06:55,043
JUST THINKING ABOUT IT.
296
00:06:55,126 --> 00:06:56,210
TELL YOU WHAT -- I'LL JUST
297
00:06:56,293 --> 00:06:57,876
REMEMBER THAT I PUT YOU THROUGH
298
00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:58,460
THE WRINGER.
299
00:06:58,543 --> 00:06:59,126
>> IT HURTS!
300
00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:00,376
>> Xavier: ACUPUNCTURE.
301
00:07:00,460 --> 00:07:01,293
>> WHAT HAPPENED?
302
00:07:01,376 --> 00:07:02,960
>> Xavier: I STUCK IT IN YOU,
303
00:07:03,043 --> 00:07:04,126
AND YOU BECAME A MAN.
304
00:07:04,210 --> 00:07:05,710
>> SO THAT'S MY GUARDIAN ANIMAL?
305
00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:06,585
>> Xavier: YES.
306
00:07:06,668 --> 00:07:07,960
IT HAS A MESSAGE FOR US.
307
00:07:08,043 --> 00:07:09,126
I WILL READ ITS ENTRAILS.
308
00:07:09,210 --> 00:07:10,960
ACCORDING TO THESE ENTRAILS,
309
00:07:11,043 --> 00:07:12,626
THIS ANIMAL DIED NEEDLESSLY AT
310
00:07:12,710 --> 00:07:14,460
THE HANDS OF A DIM GOON.
311
00:07:14,543 --> 00:07:16,418
IT'S YOUR JOB TO STOP SUCH
312
00:07:16,501 --> 00:07:17,418
INJUSTICES.
313
00:07:17,501 --> 00:07:19,501
THE MARKINGS OF A WARRIOR SHALL
314
00:07:19,585 --> 00:07:21,168
SUMMON THE WARRIOR WHOOP.
315
00:07:21,251 --> 00:07:22,376
♪ TWEET, TWEET, NIGGA, DOT,
316
00:07:22,460 --> 00:07:24,085
HOOTY-HOO! ♪
317
00:07:24,168 --> 00:07:26,168
AND NOW WE BUY ICE-CREAM CONES.
318
00:07:26,251 --> 00:07:27,376
OF...DEEPER TRUTH.
319
00:07:27,460 --> 00:07:28,251
YEAH.
320
00:07:28,335 --> 00:07:30,210
YOU MUST LET GO OF LINEAR MODES
321
00:07:30,043 --> 00:07:31,460
OF RATIONAL THOUGHT.
322
00:07:31,543 --> 00:07:33,543
EXAMPLE -- THIS IS YOUR GRINDER,
323
00:07:33,626 --> 00:07:35,626
BUT I'M EATING IT.
324
00:07:35,710 --> 00:07:37,835
COULD USE MORE RATIONALAISE.
325
00:07:37,918 --> 00:07:39,501
NOW I'VE GOT TO TEACH YOU TO BE
326
00:07:39,585 --> 00:07:40,085
DEEP.
327
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:40,793
BUT HOW?
328
00:07:40,876 --> 00:07:41,626
HOW DID I LEARN?
329
00:07:41,710 --> 00:07:42,460
OH, YEAH.
330
00:07:42,543 --> 00:07:44,043
I HAVE A HAZY MEMORY THAT THIS
331
00:07:44,126 --> 00:07:45,626
REALLY CREEPY GUY CAME TO ME.
332
00:07:45,710 --> 00:07:46,710
>> [ Creepy voice ] YOU'RE
333
00:07:46,793 --> 00:07:47,668
SPECIAL!
334
00:07:47,751 --> 00:07:48,626
EW!
335
00:07:48,710 --> 00:07:49,918
>> YOU'RE SCARING ME.
336
00:07:50,001 --> 00:07:51,293
I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK TO
337
00:07:51,376 --> 00:07:52,293
STRANGERS.
338
00:07:52,376 --> 00:07:54,585
>> I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS A KID.
339
00:07:54,668 --> 00:07:57,835
A REALLY FREAKY STRANGER CAME TO
340
00:07:57,918 --> 00:08:01,293
ME.
341
00:08:01,376 --> 00:08:02,710
>> I CAN'T DO THIS!
342
00:08:02,793 --> 00:08:03,793
IT'S TOO HARD!
343
00:08:03,876 --> 00:08:05,251
>> Xavier: LET ME SHOW YOU HOW
344
00:08:05,335 --> 00:08:06,960
YOU WILL TURN OUT IF YOU DON'T
345
00:08:07,043 --> 00:08:09,043
FOLLOW MY TEACHINGS.
346
00:08:09,126 --> 00:08:10,376
>> [ GASPS ]
347
00:08:10,460 --> 00:08:12,085
I DON'T WANT TO BE THAT GUY.
348
00:08:12,168 --> 00:08:13,751
OKAY, I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU SAY.
349
00:08:13,835 --> 00:08:15,043
>> Xavier: BINGO, DOODLE,
350
00:08:15,126 --> 00:08:16,085
HOOTY-HOO!
351
00:08:16,168 --> 00:08:17,376
NOW, WHICH WAY OUT OF HERE?
352
00:08:17,460 --> 00:08:19,085
UH? HUH. UH? HUH.
353
00:08:19,168 --> 00:08:20,585
>> OKAY, I DON'T WANT TO END UP
354
00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:21,418
LIKE THAT GUY.
355
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:22,585
I'LL DO WHAT YOU SAY.
356
00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:24,751
>> Xavier: UH? HUH? UH...
357
00:08:24,835 --> 00:08:26,293
YOU'VE ABSORBED ALL OF MY
358
00:08:26,376 --> 00:08:28,043
KNOWLEDGE, AND THUS YOU HAVE
359
00:08:28,126 --> 00:08:29,168
EARNED MY SOUL.
360
00:08:29,251 --> 00:08:30,710
GO ON, BOY -- HOP IN!
361
00:08:30,793 --> 00:08:32,668
>> YOU'VE PUT YOUR MANHOOD IN
362
00:08:32,751 --> 00:08:33,418
ME.
363
00:08:33,501 --> 00:08:35,293
FROMST THIS HENCEFORTH, MY
364
00:08:35,376 --> 00:08:37,251
VOWULATION IS TOWARDST
365
00:08:37,335 --> 00:08:38,793
PROTECTORIZE MINE MOMMY.
366
00:08:38,876 --> 00:08:40,210
>> WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?
367
00:08:40,293 --> 00:08:42,126
>> THIS VISITOR -- RIGHT HERE.
368
00:08:42,210 --> 00:08:43,085
>> YOU SEE SOMEONE?
369
00:08:43,168 --> 00:08:44,626
IS THIS PLACE HAUNTED?!
370
00:08:44,710 --> 00:08:46,043
YOU BRING EVIL SPIRITS, BOY!
371
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:47,668
I NEED A -- I HAVEN'T HAD A
372
00:08:47,751 --> 00:08:49,210
DRINK SINCE THE NIGHT YOU WERE
373
00:08:49,293 --> 00:08:50,085
CONCEIVED.
374
00:08:50,168 --> 00:08:51,376
GO GET ME SOME WHISKEY AND SOME
375
00:08:51,460 --> 00:08:52,251
PILLS!
376
00:08:52,335 --> 00:08:53,168
>> Xavier: SAY "YES," THEN JUST
377
00:08:53,251 --> 00:08:54,626
GIVE HER APPLE JUICE AND SUGAR
378
00:08:54,710 --> 00:08:55,251
PILLS.
379
00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:56,251
PROTECT HER ALWAYS.
380
00:08:56,335 --> 00:08:57,210
>> YES, MAMA.
381
00:08:57,293 --> 00:08:58,335
>> SWEET NECTAR!
382
00:08:58,418 --> 00:08:59,585
ARGH! I HATE YOU!
383
00:08:59,668 --> 00:09:01,293
I WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN!
384
00:09:01,376 --> 00:09:02,293
YOU SCARE ME.
385
00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:04,001
>> Xavier: DON'T WORRY -- SHE'S
386
00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:05,043
NOT REALLY INTOXICATED.
387
00:09:05,126 --> 00:09:06,251
IT'S ALL IN HER MIND.
388
00:09:06,335 --> 00:09:07,585
>> WILL THIS SAVE MOMMY?
389
00:09:07,668 --> 00:09:09,126
>> Xavier: I THINK IT WORKED OUT
390
00:09:09,210 --> 00:09:10,085
WELL.
391
00:09:10,168 --> 00:09:11,960
I REMEMBER TIME WENT BY.
392
00:09:12,043 --> 00:09:13,710
>> LADY, GET ME MORE OF THESE
393
00:09:13,793 --> 00:09:15,335
PILLS AND WHISKEY, AND I'LL
394
00:09:15,418 --> 00:09:16,043
SUCK --
395
00:09:16,126 --> 00:09:17,085
YOU'RE ADDICTED!
396
00:09:17,168 --> 00:09:18,835
I WISH I WASN'T ADDICTED.
397
00:09:18,918 --> 00:09:20,210
>> Xavier: GO ON -- BREAK HER
398
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:21,918
THE GOOD NEWS ABOUT YOUR DECADE
399
00:09:22,001 --> 00:09:23,710
OF DECEPTION, YOUR BOUT OF
400
00:09:23,793 --> 00:09:25,835
EPOCOCK AND BULL, YOUR WORMHOLE
401
00:09:25,918 --> 00:09:26,751
WHOPPER.
402
00:09:26,835 --> 00:09:28,210
TELL HER ABOUT YOUR PERIOD!
403
00:09:28,293 --> 00:09:30,085
>> MOTHER, YOU HAVEN'T TAKEN
404
00:09:30,168 --> 00:09:31,376
ANY INEBRIANTS AT ALL.
405
00:09:31,460 --> 00:09:32,918
I'VE BEEN FEEDING YOU APPLE
406
00:09:33,001 --> 00:09:34,460
JUICE AND SUGAR PILLS ALL THESE
407
00:09:34,543 --> 00:09:35,335
YEARS.
408
00:09:35,418 --> 00:09:36,626
AREN'T YOU PROUD OF ME, MOTHER?
409
00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:38,126
>> SO IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD?
410
00:09:38,210 --> 00:09:39,335
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S REAL!
411
00:09:39,418 --> 00:09:40,668
I CAN'T TRUST ANYTHING!
412
00:09:40,751 --> 00:09:42,085
I'M LOSING MY MIND!
413
00:09:42,168 --> 00:09:43,126
>> Xavier: TELL HER, "DON'T
414
00:09:43,210 --> 00:09:44,043
WORRY."
415
00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:44,793
IT'S ALL IN HER MIND.
416
00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:45,918
>> WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?
417
00:09:46,001 --> 00:09:47,085
>> Xavier: I'M TALKING TO THIS
418
00:09:47,168 --> 00:09:47,835
CHILD HERE.
419
00:09:47,918 --> 00:09:48,793
HE'S RIGHT HERE.
420
00:09:48,876 --> 00:09:50,251
>> HE SEES THE PHANTOM CHILD!
421
00:09:50,335 --> 00:09:51,668
>> THE PHANTOM CHILD HAS
422
00:09:51,751 --> 00:09:52,918
RETURNED TO HAUNT US!
423
00:09:53,001 --> 00:09:54,543
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]
424
00:09:54,626 --> 00:09:56,626
>> THE STRIP CLUB IS HAIN-ED!
425
00:09:56,710 --> 00:09:58,960
HEY, NED, THIS PLACE IS HAUNTED!
426
00:09:59,043 --> 00:09:59,918
>> HAUNTED?
427
00:10:00,001 --> 00:10:01,710
>> I SAID, "THIS PLACE IS
428
00:10:01,793 --> 00:10:02,585
HAIN-ED!"
429
00:10:02,668 --> 00:10:04,251
>> NO, COME BACK! KEEP SPENDIN'!
430
00:10:04,335 --> 00:10:05,835
MY LADY DREAM IS SLIPPIN'
431
00:10:05,918 --> 00:10:07,501
THROUGH MY WOMANLY MAN-FINGERS.
432
00:10:07,585 --> 00:10:08,918
DREAM SLIPPING AWAY...
433
00:10:09,001 --> 00:10:10,126
FUTURE CHILD DYING.
434
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:11,335
DON'T JUST STAND THERE!
435
00:10:11,418 --> 00:10:12,210
DO SOMETHIN'!
436
00:10:12,293 --> 00:10:14,043
>> Xavier: I HAVE PRE-FORESWORN
437
00:10:14,126 --> 00:10:15,585
TO BOUNCE THESE GHOSTS.
438
00:10:15,668 --> 00:10:17,210
HOW DO YOU MAKE SOMETHING FLEE?
439
00:10:17,043 --> 00:10:18,460
EVERYONE FLEES WHEN THEY ARE
440
00:10:18,543 --> 00:10:19,085
SCARED.
441
00:10:19,168 --> 00:10:20,168
WHAT SCARES PEOPLE?
442
00:10:20,251 --> 00:10:21,251
EVERYONE AROUND HERE IS SCARED
443
00:10:21,335 --> 00:10:22,126
OF GHOSTS.
444
00:10:22,210 --> 00:10:23,168
I'LL MAKE THE GHOSTS THINK THIS
445
00:10:23,251 --> 00:10:24,210
PLACE IS HAUNTED.
446
00:10:24,043 --> 00:10:25,376
BUT HOW DO YOU DRESS UP LIKE A
447
00:10:25,460 --> 00:10:26,126
GHOST?
448
00:10:26,210 --> 00:10:27,251
WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME?
449
00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:28,043
SOME HELP YOU ARE, LADY.
450
00:10:28,126 --> 00:10:29,626
IF YOU WANT TO DRESS UP LIKE A
451
00:10:29,710 --> 00:10:31,251
GHOST, YOU NEED TO THROW A PIECE
452
00:10:31,085 --> 00:10:32,293
OF FABRIC OVER YOUR HEAD.
453
00:10:32,376 --> 00:10:33,918
WHERE CAN YOU GET YOUR HANDS ON
454
00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:35,501
SOME FABRIC QUICK?
455
00:10:35,585 --> 00:10:38,293
THE FABRIC OF TIME GONE BY.
456
00:10:38,376 --> 00:10:40,168
BOO-HOO, GHOSTS!
457
00:10:40,251 --> 00:10:41,793
I'M SCARING YOU!
458
00:10:41,876 --> 00:10:42,876
GET OOT!
459
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,126
THERE'S A GHOOST IN THE HOOSE!
460
00:10:45,210 --> 00:10:47,126
GET OOT OF THE HOOSE!
461
00:10:47,210 --> 00:10:49,085
OOOOST! OOOOOOOST!
462
00:10:49,168 --> 00:10:49,876
>> FIRE!
463
00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:50,918
HONEY, GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!
464
00:10:51,001 --> 00:10:52,418
GET OUT! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!
465
00:10:52,501 --> 00:10:53,835
>> THESE FLAMES AREN'T REAL.
466
00:10:53,918 --> 00:10:55,085
EVERYTHING IS JUST IN MY MIND.
467
00:10:55,168 --> 00:10:56,626
>> Xavier: I SCARED THE GHOSTS
468
00:10:56,710 --> 00:10:57,418
AWAY.
469
00:10:57,501 --> 00:10:58,293
I GOT THE CHUMPS ON THE RUN.
470
00:10:58,376 --> 00:11:00,085
OH, LOOK! IT'S THE CUDDLECRUMBS!
471
00:11:00,168 --> 00:11:01,751
THE CUDDLECRUMBS ARE HERE?
472
00:11:01,835 --> 00:11:03,335
I DON'T REMEMBER ANY OF THIS
473
00:11:03,418 --> 00:11:04,251
HAPPENING.
474
00:11:04,085 --> 00:11:05,501
HUH?
475
00:11:05,585 --> 00:11:06,793
HUH?
476
00:11:06,876 --> 00:11:07,793
DOTH...
477
00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:08,835
HAVE...
478
00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:09,793
LIFE.
479
00:11:09,876 --> 00:11:11,918
>> GRANDPAPAPAPA, ARE YOU DONE
480
00:11:12,001 --> 00:11:13,793
REMINISCING YET?
481
00:11:13,876 --> 00:11:15,793
>> [ Rasping ] AND THAT IS THE
482
00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:20,418
LEGEND OF OUR MESSIAH.