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>> Xavier: IT IS SCRIBBLED IN
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THE STARS -- MY INFINITE OATH TO
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HELP...
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[ Echoing ] HELP.
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YOU HEAR THAT?
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SOUNDS LIKE A WEAK FEEBLING'S
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SAD YOWL FOR HELP...
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[ Echoing ] HELP.
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IT'S COMING FROM OVER THERE.
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OH, NO.
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THESE MEAGER VICTIM-CICLES NEED
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THE HEAT OF MY RELEASE.
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MY CHANCE TO FRENCH-TOUCH A
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WOMAN.
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[ SLURPS ]
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[ GASPS ]
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DON'T PANIC!
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I'LL SAVE YOU!
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>> [ GAGS ]
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WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
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>> Xavier: I RESCUED YOU FROM
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ICY DEMISE!
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ALL YOUR LIFE ARE BELONG TO ME.
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>> WE AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE
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THAWED TILL SCIENCE CAN CURE US.
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WE ALL HAVE TERMINAL DISEASES.
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>> Xavier: EW!
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IF YOU CAN'T STAND THE BODY
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HEAT, THEN STAY OUT OF THE
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FREEZER OF FATE.
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>> YOU CAN'T REFREEZE MEAT.
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WE'VE ONLY GOT HOURS TO LIVE.
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>> Xavier: THEN I'LL MAKE YE
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LIVE A THOUSAND LIFETIMES IN
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YOUR FINAL MOMENTS.
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THAT'S THE SPIRIT!
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>> YOU'VE RUINED EVERYTHING!
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>> Xavier: YOU JIVE TURKEYS
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WOULDN'T KNOW GRATITUDE IF IT
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BROKE INTO THIS ROOM AND
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CAUSED YOUR DEATH.
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NOT SAYING "THANK YOU" IS
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"DE-FROSTING" ON "DE-CAKE."
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>> NOW I'LL NEVER GET TO MEET MY
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GREAT-GREAT-GRANDDAUGHTER AND
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FALL IN LOVE, YOU SICKO!
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>> Xavier: YOU KNOW, IT TAKES
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FEWER MUSCLES TO SAY "THANK YOU"
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THAN IT DOES TO DIE.
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>> All: FREAK! FREAK! FREAK!
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>> I PLEDGE TO DEVOTE MY EVERY
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ATOM TO SERVING ICE-COLD
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VENGEANCE.
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>> Xavier: [ WHIMPERING ]
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>> YOUNG ONE, IF I TOLD YOU IT'S
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TIME FOR YOU TO FOLLOW YOUR
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LIFEQUEST AWAY FROM ME FOREVER,
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WOULD YOU LEAVE FOR GOOD?
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>> Young Xavier: OF COURSE!
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>> CONGRATULATIONS.
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THIS WILL HELP YOU WIPE AWAY ALL
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SUFFERING.
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>> Young Xavier: I PLEDGE TO
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DEVOTE MY EVERY ATOM TO SERVING
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ICE-HOT JUSTICE.
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>> Xavier: THAT'S IT! I GIVE UP!
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I SACRIFICED EVERYTHING, EVEN
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YOUR LIVES, FOR YOU PEOPLE, AND
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WHAT DO I GET?
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I NEVER WANTED TO BE AN
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OUTSIDER.
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[ Echoing ] I'M GOING NORMAL!
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NO GOING BACK NOW.
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I'LL JUST FIT IN, TAKE ON A
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NORMAL LIFE, MEET A NICE JOB,
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HOLD DOWN A WELL-PAYING FAMILY!
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GOODBYE FOREVER, OLD SELF.
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OKAY, YOU LOOK NORMAL.
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NOW JUST ACT NORMAL.
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CLUTCH THE DARK PURPLE HAIRS OF
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THE GALLOPING ORANGUTAN OF
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NORMALICY AND RIDE, NIGGA, RIDE!
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I'M READY. INTERVIEW AWAY.
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>> WELL, YOUR RéSUMé IS PRETTY
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PERSUASIVE.
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HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE
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CORPORATE CULTURE IN GENERAL?
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>> Xavier: NORMAL -- MY FEELINGS
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ON THAT ARE JUST NORMAL AND
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TYPICAL, BECAUSE I'M WHAT YOU
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PEOPLE CALL A NORMAL.
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>> HUH, IMPRESSIVE.
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YOU GOT A FRESH APPROACH TO
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BEING NORMAL.
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YOU THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX.
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>> Xavier: WHAT BOX?!
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>> MAN OF ACTION.
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LET ME GUESS.
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YOU WERE A LINEBACKER IN COLLEGE
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LIKE ME.
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I THINK WE GOT OUR BOY TO
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REPLACE...
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MEET THE NEW RYAN.
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IT'S HIS FIRST DAY.
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>> GOOD TO KNOW YOU, NEW RY.
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ME AND THE GUYS WERE JUST
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CRACKING WISE ABOUT FREAKS.
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WHAT'S YOUR OPINION ON THE
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SUBJECT?
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>> Xavier: OH, I FEEL EXACTLY
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HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT IT.
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>> OOH, LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S
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GUNNING FOR YOUR JOB, PETERSON.
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>> A NEW BIG DICK JUST SWUNG
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INTO TOWN.
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>> YEAH?
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LET'S SEE HOW HE HANGS IN THE
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BIG MEETING.
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>> WE'RE UP POOP CREEK IN A TURD
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CANOE WITH A DOOKIE PADDLE
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THAT'S GOT FECES SMEARED ON THE
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PART WHERE YOU PUT YOUR HAND.
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[ LAUGHTER ]
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SHUT UP!
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OUR MAIN FACTORY IS SPEWING
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ILLEGAL AMOUNTS OF POLLUTION.
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SHOULD WE PAY TO UPGRADE OR
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MOVE THE PLANT OVERSEAS?
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NEW RYAN, YOU'VE BEEN AWFULLY
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QUIET.
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>> Xavier: WELL, THAT'S 'CAUSE
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I'M SO NORMAL.
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YEAH, WHEN I SEE FREAKS, I JUST
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WANT TO SHOOT 'EM AND DUMP 'EM
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IN A FILTHY DITCH.
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>> I LIKE IT.
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WE JUST HOOK CHUTES UP TO OUR
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SMOKESTACKS AND DUMP IT OFF,
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DITCH OUR FILTH IN CHINA.
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OUTSOURCE OUR POLLUTION, JOBS
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STAY HERE.
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I BET WE CAN EVEN CHARGE THE
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CHINGS FOR THE SLUDGE.
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THEY'LL MAKE SOMETHING OUT OF
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IT.
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GOOD WORK, NEW RYAN, BUT WE'VE
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GOT A NEW PROBLEM.
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THE THEFT OF OFFICE SUPPLIES IS
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MAKING US HEMORRHAGE MONEY.
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WE LOST $3.8 MILLION IN STOLEN
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STAPLERS THIS MONTH ALONE!
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WHAT DO WE DO?
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>> Xavier: I'M JUST A NORMAL.
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NO STRANGE SECRETS HIDDEN
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BENEATH MY FACADE, OKAY?
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>> HE'S RIGHT.
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WE NEED TO SEE BENEATH.
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YOU'RE SAYING WE SHOULD REPLACE
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OUR FLORESCENT BULBS WITH X-RAY
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BULBS, AND WE'LL FIND THE
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STICKY-FINGERED CULPRITS IN A
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JIM-JAM-JIF.
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[ GUNSHOTS ]
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[ CLICKING ]
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OUR HOME-APPLIANCE DIVISION IS
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ON THE VERGE OF BANKRUPTCY.
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WORK YOUR MAGIC!
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WHAT DO YOU GOT?
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>> Xavier: I KEEP TRYING TO TELL
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YOU I'M JUST A NORMAL.
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QUIT SINGLING ME OUT LIKE A
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FREAK.
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>> I THINK I GET WHAT HE'S
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SAYING.
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HE MEANS WE JUST GOT TO TAKE
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WILD LEAPS IN INTERPRETING HIS
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MUNDANE STATEMENTS, THEN COME UP
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WITH OUR OWN IDEAS.
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LIKE, UM...
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>> PUTTING PHEROMONES ON OUR
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APPLIANCES?
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>> BRILLIANT, NEW RYAN.
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YES, IF WE EXTRACT THE SAME
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GLANDULAR EXCRETIONS THAT
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STIMULATE AFFECTION IN OUR
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DESIGNER-FRAGRANCE DIVISION AND
187
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APPLY IT TO OUR APPLIANCES, OUR
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PRODUCTS WILL BE IRRESISTIBLE --
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SMELL-BLIMINAL SCENT-VERTISING.
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>> THANKS FOR TURNING THIS PLACE
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AROUND, NEW RYAN.
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>> Xavier: YOU'VE THUNKED ME!
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>> SO, WHO YOU HEADED HOME TO --
194
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WIFE, KIDS?
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>> Xavier: A PEPPERBIRD CAME
196
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AND TOOK AWAY ALL I CARE ABOUT.
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>> SINGLE, HUH?
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THAT'S ABNORMAL.
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>> Xavier: ABNORMAL?
200
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NO!
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>> OLD RYAN LEFT A WIFE AND TWO
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KIDS BEHIND.
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SHE'S LONELY, TOO.
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YOU SHOULD MEET HER.
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I'LL SET IT UP.
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>> HI. THESE ARE LOVELY.
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>> Xavier: LISTEN, BEFORE WE GO
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OUT TO DINNER, I THINK IT'S TIME
209
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LITTLE TARA AND I HAD THE TALK.
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HER BODY IS GOING THROUGH SOME
211
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CONFUSING CHANGES.
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>> BUT HER NAME IS CINDY.
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I DON'T THINK THA--
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>> CINDY LOOKS UP TO ME SO MUCH.
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SWEETIE, I KNOW THIS IS A SCARY
216
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TIME.
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HAVE YOU NOTICED BLOOD IN YOUR
218
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PANTIES?
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>> [ CRYING ]
220
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>> Xavier: DON'T WORRY.
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YOUR PANTIES WILL BE BLOODY SOON
222
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ENOUGH.
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OUR LITTLE ONE'S GOT THE BIG
224
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D-JEALOUSY.
225
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>> THIS IS ALL HAPPENING SO FAST
226
00:05:08,126 --> 00:05:09,126
AND SO INACCURATELY.
227
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>> Xavier: I DON'T THINK IT'S
228
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TOO MUCH TO ASK TO HAVE DINNER
229
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READY FOR ME WHEN I GET HOME
230
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FROM WORK.
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>> BUT I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING
232
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OUT.
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WELL, I SUPPOSE I COULD MAKE A
234
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POT ROAST.
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>> Xavier: I THINK YOU'LL FIND
236
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THAT WEDNESDAY IS MEATLOAF
237
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NIGHT.
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SO, WHERE SHOULD WE GO FOR
239
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VACATION THIS YEAR -- THE
240
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REGULAR THING OR SOMETHING MORE
241
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NORMAL?
242
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>> I DON'T KNOW.
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THIS IS ALL SO SUDDEN.
244
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I HAVEN'T EVEN HAD TIME TO
245
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GRIEVE FOR RYAN.
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>> Xavier: DON'T WORRY.
247
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YOU CAN GRIEVE TONIGHT -- IN
248
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BED.
249
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YEP, HAD THE OLD LADY PRETTY WET
250
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LAST NIGHT.
251
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UP TO HER CANKLES IN TEARS.
252
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[ LAUGHTER ]
253
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>> OKAY, FOR SOME REASON, WE GOT
254
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A HUGE SURPLUS OF CHEAP
255
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CHING CHONG HOT DOGS.
256
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WE'D MAKE A KILLING IF WE COULD
257
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SELL THESE CHING DOGS.
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>> I KNOW!
259
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LET'S DO SOMETHING NORMAL.
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>> COME ON, PETERSON.
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THAT'S OLD PARADIGM.
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>> IT WAS NEW RYAN'S IDEA.
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HE SAID HE HAD A SOLUTION THAT
264
00:05:58,293 --> 00:05:59,876
WOULD BLOW YOU AWAY.
265
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:00,918
>> OH, YEAH?
266
00:06:01,001 --> 00:06:01,835
COME ON, GOLDEN BOY.
267
00:06:01,918 --> 00:06:03,126
WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MOVING
268
00:06:03,210 --> 00:06:03,960
HOT DOGS?
269
00:06:04,043 --> 00:06:05,710
>> Xavier: I KNOW I WAS MOVING
270
00:06:05,793 --> 00:06:07,168
MY HOT DOG IN AND OUT OF
271
00:06:07,251 --> 00:06:09,210
PETERSON'S WIFE'S BUNS LAST
272
00:06:09,043 --> 00:06:09,793
NIGHT.
273
00:06:09,876 --> 00:06:11,168
>> MY WIFE IS DEAD.
274
00:06:11,251 --> 00:06:13,126
>> Xavier: I NEVER SAID IT WAS
275
00:06:13,210 --> 00:06:13,876
CONSENSUAL.
276
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:14,918
DON'T WORRY.
277
00:06:15,001 --> 00:06:16,168
I USED "CONDIMENTS."
278
00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:18,543
SHE ENJOYED IT WITH "RELISH."
279
00:06:18,626 --> 00:06:21,210
HER MOUTH PASSED "MUSTARD."
280
00:06:21,043 --> 00:06:24,001
I COULD HARDLY "KETCHUP" TO HER
281
00:06:24,085 --> 00:06:24,835
VAGINA!
282
00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:25,876
>> I STAYED UP ALL NIGHT DOING
283
00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:26,751
RESEARCH.
284
00:06:26,835 --> 00:06:27,960
EVERY YEAR, AMERICANS EAT ENOUGH
285
00:06:28,043 --> 00:06:29,210
HOT DOGS TO GO TO THE MOON AND
286
00:06:29,293 --> 00:06:29,793
BACK.
287
00:06:29,876 --> 00:06:30,460
AND --
288
00:06:30,543 --> 00:06:31,085
>> Xavier: [ SCOFFS ]
289
00:06:31,168 --> 00:06:32,085
PROVE IT.
290
00:06:32,168 --> 00:06:33,918
>> WAIT. PETERSON, SHUT UP!
291
00:06:34,001 --> 00:06:35,793
NEW RYAN, SAY THAT AGAIN.
292
00:06:35,876 --> 00:06:37,043
>> Xavier: PETERSON, SHUT UP.
293
00:06:37,126 --> 00:06:37,835
>> IT'S BRILLIANT!
294
00:06:37,918 --> 00:06:39,085
WE'LL PROVE IT.
295
00:06:39,168 --> 00:06:40,543
WE'LL MAKE A HOT-DOG CHAIN TO
296
00:06:40,626 --> 00:06:41,460
THE MOON.
297
00:06:41,543 --> 00:06:42,460
IT'LL BE THE GREATEST MARKETING
298
00:06:42,543 --> 00:06:43,793
STUNT OF ALL TIME.
299
00:06:43,876 --> 00:06:45,501
YOU DID IT AGAIN, NEW RYAN.
300
00:06:45,585 --> 00:06:47,418
PACK YOUR BAGS, PETERSON.
301
00:06:49,293 --> 00:06:52,751
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
302
00:06:52,835 --> 00:06:53,835
>> Xavier: ME HOME!
303
00:06:53,918 --> 00:06:55,168
I BROUGHT YOU HOT DOGS FROM
304
00:06:55,251 --> 00:06:55,793
WORK!
305
00:06:55,876 --> 00:06:56,293
>> YAY!
306
00:06:56,376 --> 00:06:57,043
>> YAY!
307
00:06:57,126 --> 00:06:58,710
>> HONEY, WE NEED TO TALK.
308
00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:00,085
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD A THING
309
00:07:00,168 --> 00:07:00,751
FOR BLONDES.
310
00:07:00,835 --> 00:07:01,835
>> Xavier: WHAT?! NO!
311
00:07:01,918 --> 00:07:03,251
PETERSON MUST BE BEHIND THIS.
312
00:07:03,335 --> 00:07:05,168
THOSE PHOTOS ARE DOCTORED!
313
00:07:05,251 --> 00:07:06,001
>> DOCTORED?
314
00:07:06,085 --> 00:07:07,210
WHAT KIND OF MEDICAL PROCEDURE
315
00:07:07,043 --> 00:07:08,043
IS THIS?
316
00:07:08,126 --> 00:07:09,418
>> Xavier: OPEN-HEART TEA BAG?
317
00:07:09,501 --> 00:07:11,168
>> WELL I REGRET OPENING MY
318
00:07:11,251 --> 00:07:13,668
HEART TO YOUR TEA BAG OF LIES.
319
00:07:13,751 --> 00:07:14,543
I WANT YOU OUT!
320
00:07:14,626 --> 00:07:15,793
>> Xavier: LET ME AT LEAST SAY
321
00:07:15,876 --> 00:07:16,751
GOODBYE TO THE KIDS.
322
00:07:16,835 --> 00:07:18,251
>> YOU'LL NEVER TALK TO THE KIDS
323
00:07:18,085 --> 00:07:19,043
AGAIN!
324
00:07:19,126 --> 00:07:19,710
>> Xavier: YOU SHOULD KNOW I
325
00:07:19,793 --> 00:07:20,751
FAKED ALL THE IMPOTENCE.
326
00:07:20,835 --> 00:07:22,126
I COULD'VE CONSUMMATED THE
327
00:07:22,210 --> 00:07:24,085
MARRIAGE, AND I STILL INTEND TO.
328
00:07:24,168 --> 00:07:25,251
SLEEP TIGHT TONIGHT.
329
00:07:25,085 --> 00:07:26,126
PLEASE TAKE ME BACK.
330
00:07:26,210 --> 00:07:27,335
I HAVE NOWHERE TO GO.
331
00:07:27,418 --> 00:07:28,835
>> SAY, BUB, YOU LOOKING FOR AN
332
00:07:28,918 --> 00:07:29,335
APARTMENT?
333
00:07:29,418 --> 00:07:30,168
DON'T BOTHER.
334
00:07:30,251 --> 00:07:32,543
IT'S A WOMEN'S-ONLY BUILDING.
335
00:07:32,626 --> 00:07:33,251
>> Xavier: WELL --
336
00:07:33,335 --> 00:07:34,043
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
337
00:07:34,126 --> 00:07:35,210
[ High-pitched voice ] WELL,
338
00:07:35,043 --> 00:07:36,251
IT'S THE ONLY PLACE AVAILABLE IN
339
00:07:36,335 --> 00:07:37,293
THE CITY, SO WE'LL TAKE IT.
340
00:07:37,376 --> 00:07:38,335
>> WELCOME!
341
00:07:38,418 --> 00:07:40,085
AND TONIGHT A BUNCH OF US GIRLS
342
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:41,501
ARE GETTING TOGETHER.
343
00:07:41,585 --> 00:07:42,835
TURNS OUT THE LOCAL
344
00:07:42,918 --> 00:07:44,460
MEN'S ONLY CLUB CLUB DOESN'T
345
00:07:44,543 --> 00:07:45,960
ALLOW WOMEN, SO WE'RE ALL GONNA
346
00:07:46,043 --> 00:07:48,001
INFILTRATE UNDERCOVER -- SEE
347
00:07:48,085 --> 00:07:49,751
WHAT THEY'RE HIDING.
348
00:07:49,835 --> 00:07:50,793
>> ON BEHALF OF THE
349
00:07:50,876 --> 00:07:52,210
MEN'S ONLY CLUB CLUB, I'D LIKE
350
00:07:52,293 --> 00:07:53,668
TO WELCOME OUR NEW MEMBERS.
351
00:07:53,751 --> 00:07:54,501
>> HEY.
352
00:07:54,585 --> 00:07:55,626
>> TONIGHT, IN OUR COMMITMENT
353
00:07:55,710 --> 00:07:57,126
TO UNDERSTAND AND HONOR ALL
354
00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:58,501
POINTS OF VIEW, WE'RE GOING TO
355
00:07:58,585 --> 00:07:59,751
DISGUISE OURSELVES LIKE
356
00:07:59,835 --> 00:08:01,251
OVERWEIGHT BLACK WOMEN TO EXPAND
357
00:08:01,335 --> 00:08:03,001
OUR PERSPECTIVE AND GIVE DIGNITY
358
00:08:03,085 --> 00:08:04,126
TO ALL HERITAGES.
359
00:08:04,210 --> 00:08:05,085
>> GIVE ME SOME LEMONADE.
360
00:08:05,168 --> 00:08:06,751
>> GIVE ME SOME LEMONADE.
361
00:08:06,835 --> 00:08:10,043
[ INDISTINCT TALKING ]
362
00:08:10,126 --> 00:08:12,043
>> Xavier: GET ME SOME TOE PIE!
363
00:08:12,126 --> 00:08:14,210
EXCUSE ME, GIRLFRIENDS.
364
00:08:14,043 --> 00:08:16,168
SAY, SUGAR CHILD, YOU LOOK LIKE
365
00:08:16,251 --> 00:08:17,793
Y'ALL HAD A BAD DAY.
366
00:08:17,876 --> 00:08:20,251
>> I LOST MY JOB, AND MY WIFE IS
367
00:08:20,335 --> 00:08:22,043
DEAD, AND I JUST --
368
00:08:22,126 --> 00:08:23,251
>> Xavier: HONEY, BIG
369
00:08:23,085 --> 00:08:24,751
JAWANAMAMAFIRE -- SHE GONNA MAKE
370
00:08:24,835 --> 00:08:25,710
IT ALL OKAY.
371
00:08:25,793 --> 00:08:26,501
[ SLURPS ]
372
00:08:26,585 --> 00:08:28,001
>> THAT WAS AMAZING.
373
00:08:28,085 --> 00:08:29,626
I THINK WE ACTUALLY MADE CHEESE.
374
00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:31,251
>> Xavier: WELL, GUESS WHAT.
375
00:08:31,085 --> 00:08:32,293
THAT WASN'T CHEESE!
376
00:08:32,376 --> 00:08:33,335
YOU'RE GAY NOW.
377
00:08:33,418 --> 00:08:34,710
YOU'RE TOTALLY NOT NORMAL.
378
00:08:34,793 --> 00:08:35,960
>> THIS NEVER WOULD HAVE
379
00:08:36,043 --> 00:08:37,126
HAPPENED IF WASN'T FOR
380
00:08:37,210 --> 00:08:38,001
NEW RY-RY.
381
00:08:38,085 --> 00:08:39,043
>> Xavier: THAT REMINDS ME, I'M
382
00:08:39,126 --> 00:08:40,585
LATE FOR WORK.
383
00:08:40,668 --> 00:08:42,293
GOOD THING I HAVE MY MAKEUP
384
00:08:42,376 --> 00:08:44,376
CASE.
385
00:08:47,001 --> 00:08:48,085
>> Xavier: SORRY I'M LATE,
386
00:08:48,168 --> 00:08:49,168
EVERYBODY.
387
00:08:49,251 --> 00:08:50,210
THIS BLACK LADY MADE ME EAT A
388
00:08:50,293 --> 00:08:51,085
BUNCH OF CHEESE.
389
00:08:51,168 --> 00:08:52,585
>> NEW RYAN, GET IN MY OFFICE
390
00:08:52,668 --> 00:08:54,043
TO -- HEY, YOU LOOK RIPPED.
391
00:08:54,126 --> 00:08:55,210
>> Xavier: NO, I JUST LOST
392
00:08:55,293 --> 00:08:57,668
300 POUNDS -- MY VIRGINITY.
393
00:08:57,751 --> 00:08:58,918
>> I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT
394
00:08:59,001 --> 00:08:59,960
THIS PLAN YOU DROPPED OFF.
395
00:09:00,043 --> 00:09:00,835
I LOVE IT!
396
00:09:00,918 --> 00:09:02,335
DEVIL DOGMIER'S THE BEST MASCOT
397
00:09:02,418 --> 00:09:04,126
A HOT-DOG COMPANY COULD ASK FOR.
398
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,085
IT'S BIZARRE. IT'S MEMORABLE.
399
00:09:06,168 --> 00:09:07,626
AND I LOVE THAT YOU VOLUNTEERED
400
00:09:07,710 --> 00:09:09,043
TO WEAR THE COSTUME YOURSELF.
401
00:09:09,126 --> 00:09:10,501
>> Xavier: BUT HOW DID YOU KNOW
402
00:09:10,585 --> 00:09:11,960
THAT -- WHO COULD HAVE --
403
00:09:12,043 --> 00:09:12,960
>> PUT ON THE COSTUME AND GET
404
00:09:13,043 --> 00:09:13,793
OUT THERE FOR THE LINKING.
405
00:09:13,876 --> 00:09:14,376
>> Xavier: NO.
406
00:09:14,460 --> 00:09:16,001
IT SEEMS ABNORMAL.
407
00:09:16,085 --> 00:09:17,126
I MIGHT GET CALLED A FREAK.
408
00:09:17,210 --> 00:09:18,710
>> THERE'S A WHOLE CROWD OF KIDS
409
00:09:18,793 --> 00:09:19,501
WAITING.
410
00:09:19,585 --> 00:09:20,543
I COULD GET PETERSON TO TAKE
411
00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:21,418
THE GLORY.
412
00:09:21,501 --> 00:09:22,585
>> Xavier: I'LL DO IT, BUT ONLY
413
00:09:22,668 --> 00:09:24,418
TO SEE MY KIDS AGAIN.
414
00:09:24,501 --> 00:09:25,335
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
415
00:09:25,418 --> 00:09:28,085
>> INTRODUCING THE HOTTIEST
416
00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:30,710
DOGGIEST MASCOT OF ALL TIME,
417
00:09:30,793 --> 00:09:31,751
DEVIL DOGMIER!
418
00:09:31,835 --> 00:09:33,001
>> Xavier: KIDS, IT'S
419
00:09:33,085 --> 00:09:34,168
NEW NEW DADDY, KIDS!
420
00:09:34,251 --> 00:09:34,960
REMEMBER?
421
00:09:35,043 --> 00:09:36,251
>> YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH
422
00:09:36,335 --> 00:09:37,626
DEVIL DOGMIER, KIDS.
423
00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:39,835
PUNCH HIM AND CALL HIM "FREAK"!
424
00:09:39,918 --> 00:09:41,251
>> All: FREAK! FREAK! FREAK!
425
00:09:41,335 --> 00:09:42,085
FREAK! FREAK! FREAK!
426
00:09:42,168 --> 00:09:43,918
>> Xavier: WHO IS THIS SHADOWY
427
00:09:44,001 --> 00:09:46,210
FIGURE SHOVING MY OLD SAD FATE
428
00:09:46,043 --> 00:09:47,210
INTO MY NEW FACE?
429
00:09:47,293 --> 00:09:49,043
>> I TOLD YOU I'D COMMIT EVERY
430
00:09:49,126 --> 00:09:51,085
ATOM TO MY VENGEANCE.
431
00:09:51,168 --> 00:09:53,168
>> Xavier: PETERSON, YOU NO
432
00:09:53,251 --> 00:09:55,043
LONGER WIELD POWER OVER ME IF I
433
00:09:55,126 --> 00:09:56,376
ACCEPT MYSELF.
434
00:09:56,460 --> 00:09:58,918
PEOPLE, I'M NOT REALLY A FREAK!
435
00:09:59,001 --> 00:10:00,168
YOU SEE, I AM...
436
00:10:00,251 --> 00:10:02,210
>> HE'S A BIG HOT WHITE MAN!
437
00:10:02,043 --> 00:10:03,126
>> Xavier: NO.
438
00:10:03,210 --> 00:10:05,168
>> HE'S A FAT BLACK WOMAN!
439
00:10:05,251 --> 00:10:06,043
>> Xavier: NO, HONEY CHILD!
440
00:10:06,126 --> 00:10:08,085
>> HE'S A WOMAN PRETENDING TO BE
441
00:10:08,168 --> 00:10:08,835
A MAN!
442
00:10:08,918 --> 00:10:09,710
>> Xavier: NO.
443
00:10:09,793 --> 00:10:11,376
>> HE'S A MAN PRETENDING TO BE A
444
00:10:11,460 --> 00:10:12,126
WOMAN!
445
00:10:12,210 --> 00:10:12,960
>> Xavier: NO.
446
00:10:13,043 --> 00:10:14,293
>> HE'S A MAN! HE'S A MAN!
447
00:10:14,376 --> 00:10:15,210
>> Xavier: NO.
448
00:10:15,293 --> 00:10:17,251
>> I AM A WOMAN!
449
00:10:17,085 --> 00:10:18,085
>> Xavier: OOH.
450
00:10:18,168 --> 00:10:19,543
>> HE'S A FREAK! HE'S A FREAK!
451
00:10:19,626 --> 00:10:22,251
>> Xavier: NO, I'M YOUR FREAK.
452
00:10:22,085 --> 00:10:24,043
I SHALL NEVER AGAIN BE UNTRUE
453
00:10:24,126 --> 00:10:25,918
TO MYSELF AGAIN, AS I'VE
454
00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:26,793
LEARNED --
455
00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:28,210
>> HEY, THEY'RE LINKING THE
456
00:10:28,043 --> 00:10:30,251
HOT-DOG CHAIN TO THE MOON!
457
00:10:30,085 --> 00:10:31,710
>> Xavier: MUCH LIKE A CHAIN OF
458
00:10:31,793 --> 00:10:33,126
HOT DOGS LINKS TO THE EARTH, I
459
00:10:33,210 --> 00:10:35,626
RECONNECT MY VOW TO HELP ALL IN
460
00:10:35,710 --> 00:10:36,210
NEED.
461
00:10:36,293 --> 00:10:37,293
>> THEY LINKED IT!
462
00:10:37,376 --> 00:10:38,168
OH!
463
00:10:38,251 --> 00:10:39,960
IT MADE THE EARTH STOP ROTATING
464
00:10:40,043 --> 00:10:41,168
AROUND THE SUN!
465
00:10:41,251 --> 00:10:42,876
WE CAN NO LONGER RELY ON THE
466
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:44,543
SUN'S LIFE-SUSTAINING HEAT!
467
00:10:44,626 --> 00:10:46,293
>> Xavier: IT MAY NOT BE WHAT
468
00:10:46,376 --> 00:10:48,251
YOU NORMALS CALL "NORMAL" OR
469
00:10:48,085 --> 00:10:49,126
"COOL"...
470
00:10:49,210 --> 00:10:51,251
>> NOW ICE IS CREEPING DOWN THE
471
00:10:51,085 --> 00:10:52,251
HOT-DOG CHAIN!
472
00:10:52,335 --> 00:10:54,543
THE CRUEL TIDE OF FROST IS UPON
473
00:10:54,626 --> 00:10:55,376
US!
474
00:10:55,460 --> 00:10:56,668
>> Xavier: I'LL BE VIGILANT IN
475
00:10:56,751 --> 00:10:59,043
MY FIERY PURSUIT OF AWARENESS OF
476
00:10:59,126 --> 00:11:00,460
ALL IMBRUING TROUBLE.
477
00:11:00,543 --> 00:11:02,585
I WILL NOTICE CALAMITY AND TAKE
478
00:11:02,668 --> 00:11:04,626
DRASTIC ACTION, EVEN IN TIMES
479
00:11:04,710 --> 00:11:06,043
WHEN IT WOULD BE DELIGHTFULLY
480
00:11:06,126 --> 00:11:07,751
IRONIC OR COINCIDENTAL TO NOT
481
00:11:07,835 --> 00:11:09,960
TAKE ANY ACTION AT ALL!
482
00:11:10,043 --> 00:11:10,751
OH, NO!
483
00:11:10,835 --> 00:11:11,918
IT'S THE OPPOSITE OF GLOBAL
484
00:11:12,001 --> 00:11:14,126
WARMING -- MOONULAR FREEZING!
485
00:11:14,210 --> 00:11:16,210
WELL, EVERYTHING'S PERFECTLY
486
00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:17,001
PRESERVED.
487
00:11:17,085 --> 00:11:18,210
SCIENCE WILL FIND A CURE FOR
488
00:11:18,293 --> 00:11:19,418
THIS IN 1,000 YEARS.
489
00:11:19,501 --> 00:11:21,168
I'LL BE NEEDING THAT BACK.
490
00:11:21,251 --> 00:11:22,876
OH, A PEPPERBIRD!
491
00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:23,793
[ SNEEZES ]
492
00:11:23,876 --> 00:11:27,210
OH, MAYBE GIVE IT 2,000 YEARS.
493
00:11:27,043 --> 00:11:30,085
YOUR TELEVISION JUST SHATTERED!