1 00:00:03,293 --> 00:00:04,710 >> HONEY, THERE'S AN ARTICLE IN 2 00:00:04,793 --> 00:00:05,543 HERE. 3 00:00:05,626 --> 00:00:07,626 IT SAYS IT WAS WRITTEN BY ME. 4 00:00:07,710 --> 00:00:08,293 LOOK. 5 00:00:08,376 --> 00:00:09,251 >> WHAT? HOW BIZARRE. 6 00:00:09,335 --> 00:00:10,293 WHAT DOES IT SAY? 7 00:00:10,376 --> 00:00:11,168 READ IT. 8 00:00:11,251 --> 00:00:14,210 >> IT SAYS, "RECENTLY, A STRANGE 9 00:00:14,293 --> 00:00:16,293 CREATURE WAS SPOTTED RAMBLING ON 10 00:00:16,376 --> 00:00:18,168 THE OUTSKIRTS OF TOWN..." 11 00:00:18,251 --> 00:00:19,835 >> Xavier: NOTHING WILL EVER 12 00:00:19,918 --> 00:00:21,710 INTERRUPT MY EPIC SEARCH FOR MY 13 00:00:21,793 --> 00:00:23,960 MOTHER, NO MATTER HOW -- OH, 14 00:00:24,043 --> 00:00:25,835 A POSSUM! 15 00:00:25,918 --> 00:00:26,626 AAH! 16 00:00:26,710 --> 00:00:28,085 PLAY DEAD! 17 00:00:28,168 --> 00:00:29,210 [ SNORING ] 18 00:00:29,043 --> 00:00:30,126 I'M DEAD. 19 00:00:30,210 --> 00:00:33,835 I'M DE-- STUPID IDIOT, I JUST 20 00:00:33,918 --> 00:00:35,585 OUTPLAYED YOU, POSSUM! 21 00:00:35,668 --> 00:00:37,210 OH, NO, IT'S DEAD! 22 00:00:37,043 --> 00:00:38,335 OI, MATE! 23 00:00:38,418 --> 00:00:39,126 CRIKEY! 24 00:00:39,210 --> 00:00:40,168 >> WE DON'T "MOHAIR" TO YOUR 25 00:00:40,251 --> 00:00:41,293 KIND AROUND HERE, BOY! 26 00:00:41,376 --> 00:00:42,918 >> Xavier: I'VE GOT TO WARN YOU. 27 00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,710 IF YOU BEAT ME UP, ONE DAY THAT 28 00:00:44,793 --> 00:00:46,126 PAIN WILL COME BACK TO ME 29 00:00:46,210 --> 00:00:47,168 "SEXFOLD." 30 00:00:47,251 --> 00:00:49,085 >> NOT YOU, FREAK -- THIS HERE 31 00:00:49,168 --> 00:00:50,626 TERRORISTIC SAND NEGROID! 32 00:00:50,710 --> 00:00:51,501 TAKE CRIME! 33 00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:52,626 TASTE THE HATE! 34 00:00:52,710 --> 00:00:54,585 >> Xavier: THEY "QUEEFER" TO BE 35 00:00:54,668 --> 00:00:56,376 CALLED SANDFRICAN-AMERICANS! 36 00:00:56,460 --> 00:00:58,126 >> I AM JUST VISITING MUSLIM 37 00:00:58,210 --> 00:01:00,126 WHO COME TO AMERICA TO LEARN OF 38 00:01:00,210 --> 00:01:01,293 YOUR ENCHANTING CULTURE. 39 00:01:01,376 --> 00:01:02,335 >> Xavier: [ SNIFFS ] 40 00:01:02,418 --> 00:01:03,710 THEN YOU'LL WANT TO BATHE... 41 00:01:03,793 --> 00:01:05,626 IN OUR WARM KINDNESS. 42 00:01:05,710 --> 00:01:07,085 BUT ANY DECENT AMERICAN IS 43 00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:09,168 GOING TO SMACK YOUR SACK OFF FOR 44 00:01:09,251 --> 00:01:10,168 BEING A DIRTY ARAB. 45 00:01:10,251 --> 00:01:12,043 IF YOU WANT TO EXPERIENCE THE 46 00:01:12,126 --> 00:01:13,543 REAL AMERICA, YOU'VE GOT TO 47 00:01:13,626 --> 00:01:15,210 BUILD AN ARTIFICIAL WORLD -- A 48 00:01:15,293 --> 00:01:17,126 ROBOTIC AMUSEMENT PARK FULL OF 49 00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:18,960 ANDROID AMERICANS PROGRAMMED TO 50 00:01:19,043 --> 00:01:20,460 BE GOOD TO YOU AND TO LET YOU 51 00:01:20,543 --> 00:01:21,918 INTO THEIR HUMBLE LIVES. 52 00:01:22,001 --> 00:01:23,293 >> THIS IS GREAT IDEA. 53 00:01:23,376 --> 00:01:24,876 THOUSANDS OF RICH ARABS WOULD 54 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,335 PAY BIG MONEY FOR IT IF WE JUST 55 00:01:26,418 --> 00:01:27,835 HAD HIGH-TECH-ENOUGH ROBOTS 56 00:01:27,918 --> 00:01:29,126 THAT WOULDN'T AT THE MOST 57 00:01:29,210 --> 00:01:33,001 INOPPORTUNE TIME BREAK DOWN... 58 00:01:33,085 --> 00:01:34,251 [ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ] 59 00:01:34,335 --> 00:01:35,293 >> DAMN IT, FREAK! 60 00:01:35,376 --> 00:01:37,085 YOU BLEW ITS CIRCUITS WITH YOUR 61 00:01:37,168 --> 00:01:38,126 CYLINDRICAL LOGIC. 62 00:01:38,210 --> 00:01:39,418 THESE DROIDS CAN'T HANDLE 63 00:01:39,501 --> 00:01:41,085 BAUDRILLARDIAN SELF-AWARENESS. 64 00:01:41,168 --> 00:01:42,460 >> Xavier: THIS IS A 65 00:01:42,543 --> 00:01:43,460 "SIMULACROCK"? 66 00:01:43,543 --> 00:01:45,335 >> WE PAID $1,000 A DAY TO BEAT 67 00:01:45,418 --> 00:01:47,251 UP MECHANIZED ARABS, BUT THIS IS 68 00:01:47,335 --> 00:01:49,085 THE WORST "TOURORISTORRISM" 69 00:01:49,168 --> 00:01:50,668 HATE-CRIME DREAM VACATION I 70 00:01:50,751 --> 00:01:52,251 THINK WE'VE EVER HAD! 71 00:01:52,085 --> 00:01:54,251 >> I CAN'T GIVE YOU YOUR MONEY 72 00:01:54,085 --> 00:01:55,960 BACK, BUT WHAT ABOUT THIS? 73 00:01:56,043 --> 00:01:57,585 >> Xavier: KARMA IS A BOOMERANG, 74 00:01:57,668 --> 00:01:59,626 MATE, SO THROW ANOTHER AUSSIE 75 00:01:59,710 --> 00:02:04,335 COSMIC SCRIMP ON FATE'S BARBIE. 76 00:02:04,418 --> 00:02:06,126 >> HE WAS OUR BELOVED TOWN 77 00:02:06,210 --> 00:02:07,585 LEADER, OUR SUPPLE SHIP'S 78 00:02:07,668 --> 00:02:08,543 CAPTAIN AND LO-- 79 00:02:08,626 --> 00:02:09,626 >> Xavier: PEOPLE! 80 00:02:09,710 --> 00:02:10,585 A MAN IS FALLEN! 81 00:02:10,668 --> 00:02:11,293 MAN DOWN! 82 00:02:11,376 --> 00:02:12,335 HE NEEDS HELP! 83 00:02:12,418 --> 00:02:13,501 YOU DARK, HEARTLESS 84 00:02:13,585 --> 00:02:15,210 RUBBERNECKERS SIT BACK IN BLACK, 85 00:02:15,293 --> 00:02:17,210 ASSES TO ASSES, BUTTS IN DUST, 86 00:02:17,043 --> 00:02:19,043 DOING NOTHING ALL OVER THE FACE 87 00:02:19,126 --> 00:02:20,001 OF THIS PLACE. 88 00:02:20,085 --> 00:02:21,126 >> WE'RE IN MOURNING! 89 00:02:21,210 --> 00:02:22,335 HAVE SOME RESPECT. 90 00:02:22,418 --> 00:02:23,793 >> Xavier: YOU SHOULD BE 91 00:02:23,876 --> 00:02:25,126 GRIEVING THE DEATH OF YOUR 92 00:02:25,210 --> 00:02:26,001 VIGILANCE! 93 00:02:26,085 --> 00:02:27,210 HE'S PLAYING POSSUM. 94 00:02:27,043 --> 00:02:27,918 I CAN TELL. 95 00:02:28,001 --> 00:02:29,168 I HAVE SOME BAD NEWS. 96 00:02:29,251 --> 00:02:30,626 HE'S PASSED ON, TO A BETTER, 97 00:02:30,710 --> 00:02:32,168 MORE EUPHEMISTIC PLACE. 98 00:02:32,251 --> 00:02:33,876 WELL, LET'S THROW TOGETHER AN 99 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:35,085 IMPROMPTU FUNERAL. 100 00:02:35,168 --> 00:02:37,126 >> YOU'VE DESECRATED HIS MEMORY! 101 00:02:37,210 --> 00:02:38,793 >> Xavier: YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT 102 00:02:38,876 --> 00:02:40,126 HE WANTS, BUT I CAN SPEAK FOR 103 00:02:40,210 --> 00:02:41,501 THE DEAD WHEN I SAY I CAN 104 00:02:41,585 --> 00:02:42,835 CHANNEL THE DEAD! 105 00:02:42,918 --> 00:02:44,876 I HATE TO BRAG MY BRITCHES, BUT 106 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:47,001 I'M A RATHER LARGE MEDIUM WHEN I 107 00:02:47,085 --> 00:02:49,085 PENETRATE THE GRAY VEIL. 108 00:02:49,168 --> 00:02:49,960 BLEED ME. 109 00:02:50,043 --> 00:02:51,126 ONCE I GET THIS DEAD MOTORMOUTH 110 00:02:51,210 --> 00:02:52,710 YAPPING THROUGH ME, HE WON'T 111 00:02:52,793 --> 00:02:54,210 STOP CHEWING MY LIPS OFF TILL I 112 00:02:54,293 --> 00:02:56,251 HAVE TO KNOCK HIS BLACK OFF AND 113 00:02:56,085 --> 00:02:57,251 JACK OUR MOUTHS OFF. 114 00:02:57,085 --> 00:02:58,626 >> I'D THROW THIS FREAK OUT, BUT 115 00:02:58,710 --> 00:03:00,210 I DON'T WANT TO GET TOOTH-GOO ON 116 00:03:00,043 --> 00:03:00,918 MY SUIT. 117 00:03:01,001 --> 00:03:01,626 >> Xavier: HE'S COMING. 118 00:03:01,710 --> 00:03:03,876 HE'S COMING...INSIDE ME. 119 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:06,043 "OH, HELLO, PEOPLE OF" -- 120 00:03:06,126 --> 00:03:08,085 What's this town called again? 121 00:03:08,168 --> 00:03:09,335 >> LOTION, NEW MEXICO. 122 00:03:09,418 --> 00:03:11,501 >> Xavier: "PEOPLE OF EARTH, I 123 00:03:11,585 --> 00:03:12,876 AM..." 124 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,168 What's the dead guy's name? 125 00:03:14,251 --> 00:03:15,626 >> ABRAHAM LOTION. 126 00:03:15,710 --> 00:03:17,168 >> Xavier: WHAT KIND OF NAME IS 127 00:03:17,251 --> 00:03:17,918 "LOTION"? 128 00:03:18,001 --> 00:03:18,876 >> HE INVENTED LOTION AND 129 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:21,001 FOUNDED THIS SLEEPY TOWN. 130 00:03:21,085 --> 00:03:23,251 WE PRODUCE 70% OF THE NATION'S 131 00:03:23,335 --> 00:03:24,126 LOTION. 132 00:03:24,210 --> 00:03:26,126 WE'RE A SIMPLE FOLK, BUT WE GET 133 00:03:26,210 --> 00:03:27,918 FREE HOT- AND COLD-RUNNING 134 00:03:28,001 --> 00:03:30,001 LOTION, SO WE LOOK GREAT. 135 00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:31,210 >> Xavier: WHAT IFS. 136 00:03:31,293 --> 00:03:33,168 "I AM ABE LOTION, AND I WANT 137 00:03:33,251 --> 00:03:35,126 THAT YOU TAINT SHAN'T NOT 138 00:03:35,210 --> 00:03:36,126 MOURN." 139 00:03:36,210 --> 00:03:37,960 >> THIS GUY'S BABBLING EXACTLY 140 00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:40,210 LIKE MR. LOTION ON HIS DEATHBED. 141 00:03:40,043 --> 00:03:40,918 IT'S HIM! 142 00:03:41,001 --> 00:03:42,126 I'D KNOW THAT GIBBERISH 143 00:03:42,210 --> 00:03:43,168 ANYWHERE! 144 00:03:43,251 --> 00:03:44,335 >> Xavier: "IS THERE SOMEONE 145 00:03:44,418 --> 00:03:48,251 HERE WEARING A BLACK SHIRT? 146 00:03:48,085 --> 00:03:49,585 >> I AM, BUT HOW COULD HE HAVE 147 00:03:49,668 --> 00:03:50,168 KNOWN THAT? 148 00:03:50,251 --> 00:03:51,043 HE'S DEAD. 149 00:03:51,126 --> 00:03:52,668 >> DO YOU HAVE A MESSAGE FOR US 150 00:03:52,751 --> 00:03:53,626 FROM THE BEYOND? 151 00:03:53,710 --> 00:03:54,793 >> Xavier: "COURSE I DO. 152 00:03:54,876 --> 00:03:56,168 WHAT DO YOU THINK, I'M BACK FROM 153 00:03:56,251 --> 00:03:57,293 THE DEAD FOR MY HEALTH? 154 00:03:57,376 --> 00:03:59,251 A MESSAGE -- IT'S AROUND HERE 155 00:03:59,085 --> 00:03:59,960 SOMEWHERE. 156 00:04:00,043 --> 00:04:01,126 HERE IT IS. 157 00:04:01,210 --> 00:04:03,126 'KEEP YOUR HANDS OUT OF MY 158 00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:05,001 POCKETS.'" 159 00:04:05,085 --> 00:04:07,126 I THINK WHAT HE MEANS IS THAT WE 160 00:04:07,210 --> 00:04:09,126 SHOULD FOLLOW THE GOLDEN RULE. 161 00:04:09,210 --> 00:04:09,751 HE'S GONE. 162 00:04:09,835 --> 00:04:11,001 Grab those lats, kid. 163 00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:11,835 HE'S BACK! 164 00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:13,126 HEY, LET'S GIVE THAT VESSEL A 165 00:04:13,210 --> 00:04:13,543 HAND! 166 00:04:13,626 --> 00:04:14,251 HE'S GONE. 167 00:04:14,085 --> 00:04:15,085 [ APPLAUSE ] 168 00:04:15,168 --> 00:04:16,376 PLEASE, I'M A HUMBLE SERVANT. 169 00:04:16,460 --> 00:04:18,043 I DON'T NEED THE CLAP FROM YOU 170 00:04:18,126 --> 00:04:18,543 PEOPLE. 171 00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:19,251 AND HE'S BACK! 172 00:04:19,335 --> 00:04:20,085 COME ON, FOLKS. 173 00:04:20,168 --> 00:04:21,085 GIVE IT UP. 174 00:04:21,168 --> 00:04:22,126 EVERYBODY WANTS APPLAUSE! 175 00:04:22,210 --> 00:04:23,751 AND HE'S GONE FOREVER! 176 00:04:23,835 --> 00:04:25,460 BUT WE MUST HONOR HIS DYING 177 00:04:25,543 --> 00:04:26,293 REQUEST. 178 00:04:26,376 --> 00:04:28,043 I MEAN, I WASN'T REALLY PAYING 179 00:04:28,126 --> 00:04:29,085 ATTENTION. 180 00:04:29,168 --> 00:04:30,251 I WAS BLUE-TOOTHING IT DURING 181 00:04:30,335 --> 00:04:31,835 HALF HIS BLATHER, BUT I THINK HE 182 00:04:31,918 --> 00:04:33,210 YAMMERED SOMETHING ABOUT HOW 183 00:04:33,043 --> 00:04:34,126 GOLD RULES. 184 00:04:34,210 --> 00:04:36,751 YOU MUST HONOR HIM WITH A GOLD 185 00:04:36,835 --> 00:04:38,168 STATUE IN THE CENTER OF TOWN. 186 00:04:38,251 --> 00:04:39,918 >> WE DON'T HAVE THE RESOURCES. 187 00:04:40,001 --> 00:04:41,376 >> Xavier: HAVE YOU NO RESPECT 188 00:04:41,460 --> 00:04:42,543 FOR THE DEAD? 189 00:04:42,626 --> 00:04:44,001 WHY DON'T YOU JUST PISS IN THE 190 00:04:44,085 --> 00:04:45,043 MAN'S FACE, LIKE THIS? 191 00:04:45,126 --> 00:04:46,168 >> GOLD IS JUST SOMETHING WE 192 00:04:46,251 --> 00:04:47,251 COULDN'T AFFORD. 193 00:04:47,085 --> 00:04:48,335 >> Xavier: WELL, WHAT'S THAT? 194 00:04:48,418 --> 00:04:50,210 IF YOU ALL CHIPPED IN, YOU COULD 195 00:04:50,293 --> 00:04:51,501 WIN YOUR OWN LOTTO. 196 00:04:51,585 --> 00:04:53,293 YOU'D EARN ENOUGH TO UNDO THE 197 00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:55,210 INDIGNITY OF THE PISSWICH, WHICH 198 00:04:55,293 --> 00:04:57,168 THAT MAN'S FACE JUST WOOFED, 199 00:04:57,251 --> 00:04:58,168 WOOFED DOWN, DOWN. 200 00:04:58,251 --> 00:04:59,293 OOH, OOH, HOLD THE MAYO. 201 00:04:59,376 --> 00:05:00,793 >> THE DEAD WANT US TO WIN! 202 00:05:00,876 --> 00:05:02,168 >> AND OUR SCHOOLS WIN, TOO! 203 00:05:02,251 --> 00:05:03,376 >> WE GOT TO WIN! 204 00:05:03,460 --> 00:05:04,376 >> I GUARANTEE! 205 00:05:04,460 --> 00:05:06,168 >> MISTER, I RUN THE LOTION 206 00:05:06,251 --> 00:05:07,251 WEEKLY CIRCULAR. 207 00:05:07,085 --> 00:05:09,001 I WANT TO FOLLOW YOU AROUND AND 208 00:05:09,085 --> 00:05:11,210 GET YOUR SCOOP, TELL YOUR STORY. 209 00:05:11,043 --> 00:05:13,001 >> Xavier: MINE IS THE STORY OF 210 00:05:13,085 --> 00:05:14,668 A MAN SEARCHING FAR AND WIDE, 211 00:05:14,751 --> 00:05:16,585 FAT AND THICK AND DEEP FOR HIS 212 00:05:16,668 --> 00:05:18,210 MOTHER, ONCE THOUGHT DEAD. 213 00:05:18,293 --> 00:05:19,501 HAVE YOU SEEN HER? 214 00:05:19,585 --> 00:05:21,376 SHE'S ABOUT YEA TALL AND ABOUT 215 00:05:21,460 --> 00:05:23,085 OOH BIG, AND ABOUT MMM NICE. 216 00:05:23,168 --> 00:05:24,876 I HAVE A SKETCH YOU COULD PRINT. 217 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:26,168 >> WOW, LOOK AT HIM GO. 218 00:05:26,251 --> 00:05:28,043 >> Xavier: DOES YOUR PAPER HAVE 219 00:05:28,126 --> 00:05:29,835 A MISSED CONNECTIONS SECTION? 220 00:05:29,918 --> 00:05:30,876 TAKE THIS DOWN. 221 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:31,668 "YOU? 222 00:05:31,751 --> 00:05:33,043 SANDY, 5-FOOT BLONDE, PRETTY 223 00:05:33,126 --> 00:05:34,085 DRUNK. 224 00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:35,460 WE MADE PASSING EYE CONTACT 225 00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:37,085 WHILST YOU WERE GIVING BIRTH TO 226 00:05:37,168 --> 00:05:37,376 ME. 227 00:05:37,460 --> 00:05:38,210 ME? 228 00:05:38,293 --> 00:05:39,210 SINGLE, WHITE MALE, THICK AND 229 00:05:39,043 --> 00:05:39,960 HUGE. 230 00:05:40,043 --> 00:05:41,210 I TORE YOU UP THAT NIGHT. 231 00:05:41,293 --> 00:05:41,960 COCOA?" 232 00:05:42,043 --> 00:05:42,960 >> I'M SORRY? 233 00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:44,793 >> Xavier: DO YOU WANT SOME HOT 234 00:05:44,876 --> 00:05:45,293 COCOA? 235 00:05:45,376 --> 00:05:46,418 GOOD AND FRUITY. 236 00:05:46,501 --> 00:05:47,251 >> SURE. 237 00:05:47,335 --> 00:05:48,376 >> Xavier: WELL, GET ME SOME, 238 00:05:48,460 --> 00:05:49,001 TOO. 239 00:05:49,085 --> 00:05:49,793 RUN IT. 240 00:05:49,876 --> 00:05:50,376 LEAVE IN THE PART ABOUT THE 241 00:05:50,460 --> 00:05:51,043 COCOA. 242 00:05:51,126 --> 00:05:53,168 SEX SELLS. 243 00:05:53,251 --> 00:05:54,710 >> SO DID ANY OF THIS HAPPEN? 244 00:05:54,793 --> 00:05:55,418 >> NO. 245 00:05:55,501 --> 00:05:56,585 I WOULD HAVE REMEMBERED 246 00:05:56,668 --> 00:05:57,876 SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 247 00:05:57,960 --> 00:05:58,793 I DON'T THI-- 248 00:05:58,876 --> 00:05:59,501 >> WE WON! 249 00:05:59,585 --> 00:06:00,876 >> WE WON THE LOTTO! 250 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:02,210 >> WE WON THE LOTTO! 251 00:06:02,043 --> 00:06:04,251 NOW WE CAN PAY TRIBUTE WITH THE 252 00:06:04,335 --> 00:06:05,918 GOLDEST STATUE EVER! 253 00:06:06,001 --> 00:06:06,751 >> YEAH! 254 00:06:06,835 --> 00:06:08,335 >> Xavier: YOU HAVEN'T WON! 255 00:06:08,418 --> 00:06:10,043 YOU ARE ONE! 256 00:06:10,126 --> 00:06:12,043 YOU HAVE ALL SHOWN NOBILITY IN 257 00:06:12,126 --> 00:06:13,751 YOUR SELFLESS SURRENDER TO THE 258 00:06:13,835 --> 00:06:14,626 GREATER GOOD. 259 00:06:14,710 --> 00:06:16,210 THERE CAN BE NO GLORIOUS 260 00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:17,418 COLLECTIVE WITHOUT THE 261 00:06:17,501 --> 00:06:18,251 INDIVIDUAL. 262 00:06:18,335 --> 00:06:20,043 THEREFORE, EACH ONE OF YOU IS 263 00:06:20,126 --> 00:06:21,626 BETTER THAN ANY OTHER ONE OF 264 00:06:21,710 --> 00:06:23,376 YOU -- OR THE GROUP. 265 00:06:23,460 --> 00:06:25,335 DON'T LET ANYONE PUT THEIR PARTS 266 00:06:25,418 --> 00:06:27,210 OVER YOUR WHOLE AND SQUEEZE OUT 267 00:06:27,293 --> 00:06:28,126 COMMUNISM. 268 00:06:28,210 --> 00:06:29,043 YOU SHOULD EACH REWARD 269 00:06:29,126 --> 00:06:30,751 YOURSELVES DECADENTLY FOR YOUR 270 00:06:30,835 --> 00:06:32,751 LACK OF GREED AND SELFLESSNESS. 271 00:06:32,835 --> 00:06:34,501 >> AW, COME ON, WHAT ARE WE 272 00:06:34,585 --> 00:06:35,293 GONNA DO? 273 00:06:35,376 --> 00:06:36,460 SOMETHING STUPID LIKE COVER 274 00:06:36,543 --> 00:06:37,293 OURSELVES IN... 275 00:06:37,376 --> 00:06:38,710 SO, THEN, WE COVERED OURSELVES 276 00:06:38,793 --> 00:06:39,293 IN GOLD. 277 00:06:39,376 --> 00:06:40,210 >> WE DESERVE IT. 278 00:06:40,043 --> 00:06:41,043 >> I DESERVE IT! 279 00:06:41,126 --> 00:06:41,918 >> ME TOO! 280 00:06:42,001 --> 00:06:43,126 >> YOU DON'T DRESS FOR THE JOB 281 00:06:43,210 --> 00:06:44,001 YOU WANT. 282 00:06:44,085 --> 00:06:45,126 YOU DRESS FOR THE JOB YOU DON'T 283 00:06:45,210 --> 00:06:46,293 HAVE ANYMORE BECAUSE YOU GOT 284 00:06:46,376 --> 00:06:47,168 GOLD-PLATED. 285 00:06:47,251 --> 00:06:48,793 >> YOU'RE ONLY AS RICH AS YOU -- 286 00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:49,626 LOOK. 287 00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:50,626 HERE COMES THE NICE BANKER MAN 288 00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:52,043 TO TELL YE HOW RICH I IS. 289 00:06:52,126 --> 00:06:53,293 >> Xavier: WHAT'S THIS? 290 00:06:53,376 --> 00:06:55,251 SEEMS TO BE SOME SORT OF WORDS 291 00:06:55,085 --> 00:06:56,043 ON PAPER. 292 00:06:56,126 --> 00:06:58,043 I CAN TOTALLY READ, BUT I DARE 293 00:06:58,126 --> 00:06:59,585 YOU TO READ WHAT IT SAYS ON 294 00:06:59,668 --> 00:07:00,335 HERE. 295 00:07:00,418 --> 00:07:01,918 OR WHAT ARE YOU, CHICKEN? 296 00:07:02,001 --> 00:07:03,043 MOO-CA-TOODLE! 297 00:07:03,126 --> 00:07:05,251 >> IT SAYS THE BANK IS GOING TO 298 00:07:05,085 --> 00:07:07,335 REPOSSESS THIS WHOLE TOWN AND 299 00:07:07,418 --> 00:07:09,668 TEAR IT DOWN TO BUILD CONDOS FOR 300 00:07:09,751 --> 00:07:11,043 I ASSUME "LATTE LIBERALS." 301 00:07:11,126 --> 00:07:12,418 >> Xavier: YEP, THAT'S CORRECT. 302 00:07:12,501 --> 00:07:13,876 GIVE UP YOUR GOLD OR GIVE UP 303 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:14,710 YOUR TOWN. 304 00:07:14,793 --> 00:07:16,251 >> I'M NOT GETTING RID OF MY 305 00:07:16,085 --> 00:07:16,751 GOLD! 306 00:07:16,835 --> 00:07:17,543 >> ME NEITHER. 307 00:07:17,626 --> 00:07:19,126 YOU CAN PRY IT FROM MY GOLD, 308 00:07:19,210 --> 00:07:20,210 DEAD, GOLD -- 309 00:07:20,043 --> 00:07:21,876 >> WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?! 310 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:23,168 >> Xavier: I KNOW SOME PEOPLE 311 00:07:23,251 --> 00:07:24,293 WHO WOULD BUY YOUR TOWN AND NOT 312 00:07:24,376 --> 00:07:25,085 CHANGE A THING. 313 00:07:25,168 --> 00:07:26,960 >> WE'LL DO ANYTHING TO STAY 314 00:07:27,043 --> 00:07:27,793 GILDED. 315 00:07:27,876 --> 00:07:29,335 >> Xavier: EVEN PRETEND TO BE 316 00:07:29,418 --> 00:07:30,460 ROBOTS? 317 00:07:30,543 --> 00:07:32,418 >> DOWN UNDA! 318 00:07:32,501 --> 00:07:34,335 >> Xavier: OKAY, LOOK UNALIVE, 319 00:07:34,418 --> 00:07:35,168 PEOPLE. 320 00:07:35,251 --> 00:07:36,043 HERE WE GO! 321 00:07:36,126 --> 00:07:37,126 LADIES AND GENTLEMUSLIMS, ARABS 322 00:07:37,210 --> 00:07:38,793 OF ALL STROKE, WE GOT A "GOOZUM" 323 00:07:38,876 --> 00:07:40,210 ON THE LOOSE, SO KEEP YOUR MUZZY 324 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,501 LIMBS INSIDE THE "TRAMBOATEL" AT 325 00:07:41,585 --> 00:07:42,793 ALL TIMES, LESS YOU WANT TO LOSE 326 00:07:42,876 --> 00:07:43,626 THEM ON A "GOOZUM." 327 00:07:43,710 --> 00:07:45,001 I'M YOUR TOUR GUIDE, YOUR PURE 328 00:07:45,085 --> 00:07:46,251 SNIDE WITH WHITE PRIDE, HERE TO 329 00:07:46,335 --> 00:07:47,085 KEEP YOU ALIVE. 330 00:07:47,168 --> 00:07:48,418 AND IF YOU LOOK TO YOUR LEFT, 331 00:07:48,501 --> 00:07:49,835 YOU'RE GONNA WANT TO TURN TO 332 00:07:49,918 --> 00:07:51,043 YOUR RIGHT, WHERE YOU'LL SEE A 333 00:07:51,126 --> 00:07:52,543 ROBOTIC DEPICTION OF A TYPICAL 334 00:07:52,626 --> 00:07:53,251 AMERICAN TOWN. 335 00:07:53,335 --> 00:07:54,501 ONLY DIFFERENCE IS THESE 336 00:07:54,585 --> 00:07:55,626 AMERIBOTS ARE DOUBLE-, 337 00:07:55,710 --> 00:07:57,126 DOUBLE-PROGRAMMED TO NOT HATE 338 00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:58,543 YOU, EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE MUSLIMS. 339 00:07:58,626 --> 00:08:00,210 COMING UP AHEAD IS THE PRIDE OF 340 00:08:00,043 --> 00:08:01,460 THE CITY, THE LOTION FACTORY, 341 00:08:01,543 --> 00:08:03,418 WITH ITS FAMED 2-MILLION-GALLON 342 00:08:03,501 --> 00:08:05,751 SILOS OF ANTI-AGING CREAM. 343 00:08:05,835 --> 00:08:07,043 >> AND ALL OF THESE PEOPLE HERE 344 00:08:07,126 --> 00:08:07,918 ARE ROBOTS? 345 00:08:08,001 --> 00:08:08,793 >> Xavier: YEP. 346 00:08:08,876 --> 00:08:09,751 >> SO LIFELIKE... 347 00:08:09,835 --> 00:08:11,168 IT EVEN LOOKED LIKE THAT ROBOT 348 00:08:11,251 --> 00:08:12,918 WINKED AT YOU CONSPIRATORIALLY. 349 00:08:13,001 --> 00:08:14,293 >> Xavier: YOU CAN TOUCH THEM 350 00:08:14,376 --> 00:08:15,793 ALL YOU WANT, HERE OR HERE. 351 00:08:15,876 --> 00:08:17,168 JUST DON'T PLAY GRAB-ASS. 352 00:08:17,251 --> 00:08:17,918 Psst. 353 00:08:18,001 --> 00:08:19,460 SHOW MY BUTT WHAT MY MOUTH 354 00:08:19,543 --> 00:08:21,168 MEANS, JUST TO BE SAFE. 355 00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:22,210 GO ON. 356 00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:23,210 MINGLE, DO WHATEVER YOU WANT 357 00:08:23,293 --> 00:08:24,043 WITH THEM. 358 00:08:24,126 --> 00:08:25,751 SNATCH THEIR GRUB, PUNCH THEIR 359 00:08:25,835 --> 00:08:26,626 BELLIES. 360 00:08:26,710 --> 00:08:28,293 EVERYTHING IS INCLUDED FOR YOUR 361 00:08:28,376 --> 00:08:30,210 $5,000 A DAY EXCEPT FOR THE 362 00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:31,501 PROP-PROP PLANE RIDE. 363 00:08:31,585 --> 00:08:32,626 THAT'S A QUARTER. 364 00:08:32,710 --> 00:08:34,043 NOW, WHO NEEDS CHANGE? 365 00:08:34,126 --> 00:08:35,751 >> SOMEONE ANSWERED YOUR AD 366 00:08:35,835 --> 00:08:36,793 FOR YOUR MOM. 367 00:08:36,876 --> 00:08:38,501 I TOLD HER TO MEET US HERE. 368 00:08:38,585 --> 00:08:39,418 SHE -- HONEY? 369 00:08:39,501 --> 00:08:41,085 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 370 00:08:41,168 --> 00:08:42,251 >> I ANSWERED AN AD. 371 00:08:42,335 --> 00:08:43,793 YEARS AGO I HAD A SON. 372 00:08:43,876 --> 00:08:45,001 I NEVER TOLD YOU. 373 00:08:45,085 --> 00:08:47,085 >> IS THIS YOUR SON? 374 00:08:47,168 --> 00:08:48,293 >> HIM?! 375 00:08:48,376 --> 00:08:49,168 NO! 376 00:08:49,251 --> 00:08:51,043 >> Xavier: MOTHER, IS THAT YOU? 377 00:08:51,126 --> 00:08:52,710 YOU LOOK SO DIFFERENT! 378 00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:53,501 GIVE ME A HUG. 379 00:08:53,585 --> 00:08:54,668 >> GET AWAY FROM ME. 380 00:08:54,751 --> 00:08:55,668 YOU MAKE ME SICK! 381 00:08:55,751 --> 00:08:57,210 >> Xavier: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID. 382 00:08:57,293 --> 00:08:58,210 IT IS MY MOM! 383 00:08:58,043 --> 00:08:59,418 >> IS THIS FEMALE AMERIBOT 384 00:08:59,501 --> 00:09:00,501 GIVING YOU TROUBLE? 385 00:09:00,585 --> 00:09:02,210 SHE'S TO OBEY YOUR ORDERS, YES? 386 00:09:02,043 --> 00:09:03,251 >> DON'T TOUCH ME! 387 00:09:03,085 --> 00:09:04,710 >> Xavier: SIR, WOMEN HERE HAVE 388 00:09:04,793 --> 00:09:06,251 THE FREEDOM TO DO WHAT THEY 389 00:09:06,085 --> 00:09:06,835 WANT. 390 00:09:06,918 --> 00:09:07,585 IT TOTALLY SUCKS. 391 00:09:07,668 --> 00:09:08,418 >> FASCINATING. 392 00:09:08,501 --> 00:09:09,710 WHERE ARE TIME-HONORED 393 00:09:09,793 --> 00:09:11,043 OPPRESSIONS TO WOMEN? 394 00:09:11,126 --> 00:09:12,210 >> GET OFF ME! 395 00:09:12,043 --> 00:09:14,210 >> THIS MACHINE IS DEFECTIVE. 396 00:09:14,043 --> 00:09:15,168 WE MUST DESTROY IT! 397 00:09:15,251 --> 00:09:16,418 >> Xavier: NOO! 398 00:09:16,501 --> 00:09:18,085 IT'S A SOFTWARE PROBLEM. 399 00:09:18,168 --> 00:09:19,918 WE'LL RE-REPROGRAM HER. 400 00:09:20,001 --> 00:09:21,168 >> I DON'T KNOW. 401 00:09:21,251 --> 00:09:22,793 WHAT IF IT IS SYSTEM-WIDE? 402 00:09:22,876 --> 00:09:24,626 NO HATE OF MUSLIMS IS ALL WE ASK 403 00:09:24,710 --> 00:09:25,418 FOR. 404 00:09:25,501 --> 00:09:26,710 >> Xavier: OKAY, JUST TO BE 405 00:09:26,793 --> 00:09:28,460 SAFE, I'LL RE-REPROGRAM ALL OF 406 00:09:28,543 --> 00:09:30,876 THE AMERIBOTS TO BECOME MUSLIMS. 407 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:33,251 >> THAT'S THE KIND OF TYPICAL 408 00:09:33,335 --> 00:09:35,293 AMERICAN I LIKE. 409 00:09:35,376 --> 00:09:36,751 >> Xavier: REPEAT AGAIN. 410 00:09:36,835 --> 00:09:40,418 MEKA LEKA HI ALA SHINEYHO ALLA! 411 00:09:40,501 --> 00:09:43,210 >> MEKA LEKA HI ALA SHINEYHO 412 00:09:43,043 --> 00:09:44,043 ALLA! 413 00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:45,293 >> Xavier: I EVEN GOLD-PLATED 414 00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:46,251 THE KORAN. 415 00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:47,543 >> CAN'T POLISH A TURD. 416 00:09:47,626 --> 00:09:49,168 THEY'RE DRAGGING US BACK TO THE 417 00:09:49,251 --> 00:09:49,960 STONE AGES. 418 00:09:50,043 --> 00:09:51,210 >> I THINK IT'S TIME FOR THE 419 00:09:51,293 --> 00:09:53,126 ROBOTS TO RISE UP AGAINST THEIR 420 00:09:53,210 --> 00:09:55,168 ALL-TOO-HUMAN MASTERS. 421 00:09:58,085 --> 00:10:00,085 [ TIRES SCREECH ] 422 00:10:04,501 --> 00:10:06,168 [ ALL ROARING ] 423 00:10:06,251 --> 00:10:06,835 >> MY WIFE! 424 00:10:06,918 --> 00:10:07,668 WHERE IS SHE?! 425 00:10:07,751 --> 00:10:09,126 >> Xavier: YOU'RE A REPORTER! 426 00:10:09,210 --> 00:10:10,251 STAY OBJECTIVE. 427 00:10:10,085 --> 00:10:11,501 SHE WOULD'VE WANTED TO BE 428 00:10:11,585 --> 00:10:12,210 OBJECTIFIED. 429 00:10:12,293 --> 00:10:13,210 DO YOUR JOB! 430 00:10:13,043 --> 00:10:14,626 TAKE THE CAMERA! 431 00:10:14,710 --> 00:10:15,460 >> YES. 432 00:10:15,543 --> 00:10:17,335 MUST REMAIN OBJECTIVE. 433 00:10:17,418 --> 00:10:18,335 >> Xavier: TAKE IT! 434 00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:19,168 >> IT'S WORKING! 435 00:10:19,251 --> 00:10:20,376 THE "ARABASAURUSES" ARE 436 00:10:20,460 --> 00:10:21,501 TURNING BACK INTO OIL! 437 00:10:21,585 --> 00:10:23,376 >> THE ARAB ASSAULT IS 438 00:10:23,460 --> 00:10:24,710 METAPHORICAL. 439 00:10:24,793 --> 00:10:26,043 >> OI! OI! OIL! 440 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:28,126 WE'RE RICH! 441 00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:30,251 >> THE AMERIBOTS OF LOTION, 442 00:10:30,335 --> 00:10:31,126 NEW -- 443 00:10:31,210 --> 00:10:32,585 [ COUGHS ] 444 00:10:32,668 --> 00:10:33,460 EXCUSE ME. 445 00:10:33,543 --> 00:10:34,168 NEW ME-- 446 00:10:34,043 --> 00:10:35,710 [ COUGHS ] 447 00:10:35,793 --> 00:10:36,876 EXCUSE ME. 448 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:39,460 NEW MEXICO, GOT SO RICH OFF -- 449 00:10:39,543 --> 00:10:40,751 >> DOWN UNDA!