♪♪
VODKA ROCKS.
♪♪
COMING RIGHT UP, MISTER...
KAWAKAMI?
IF YOU DON'T MIND MY SAYING,
I LIKED YOU BETTER WITH THE 'STACHE.
YEAH, THE OLD LADY HATED IT. SAID IT TICKLED. HA. WOMEN.
UM... SORRY.
THIS LOOKS LIKE MILK.
ACTUALLY, YOU JUST POURED IT OUT OF A CARTON. IT'S GOOD FOR YA.
IT'LL GIVE YOU STRONG BONES AND A ROCKIN' BUZZ.
NOW DRINK UP AND COME BACK IN SIX YEARS.
PLEASE DON'T THROW ME OUT. I-I NEED TO STAY.
I SET MY MOM UP ON A DATE WITH MY BOXING COACH.
HE'S PERFECT FOR HER. THIS DATE IS A YEAR IN THE MAKING. OKAY. YOU GOT MY ATTENTION.
I HAVE LIED. I HAVE USED INTERMEDIARIES AND DECEPTION.
I'VE KEPT EVERYONE IN THE DARK.
MY MOM WOULD KILL ME IF SHE KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING. SOLD.
I LIKE THE WAY YOU WORK, MR. KAWAKAMI.
LET'S SEE IF WE CAN FIND YOU A GOOD SEAT.
♪♪
SHE'S OFFERING HIM A BITE OF HER DINNER.
THAT'S--THAT'S A GOOD SIGN, RIGHT?
WHOSE FORK? HIS.
EH.
BUT SHE'S FEEDING HIM. KA-CHING!
TREVOR.
WHY IS THERE A TEENAGE BOY IN MY OFFICE?
I FIGURED YOU WOULDN'T WANT HIM SITTING AT THE BAR.
MY MOM'S ON A BLIND DATE. WE'RE SPYING ON 'EM. I SEE.
THINGS ARE PICKING UP. I NEED YOU BACK BEHIND THE BAR.
COME ON. CAN YOU COVER FOR ME? MARSHALL WENT TO A LOT OF EFFORT
TO FIND THE PERFECT GUY FOR HIS MOM. WHAT'S SO PERFECT ABOUT THIS GUY?
SHE MANAGES A PUBLIC TV STATION. HE COACHES BOXING.
REMIND ME AGAIN WHY THIS GUY'S SO PERFECT FOR YOUR MOM?
SHE PICKED HIM. THERE WAS A CATALOG.
THERE'S A GUY CATALOG?
I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS EVEN AN OPTION.
SPERM BANK CATALOG.
MY MOM DOESN'T KNOW IT, BUT DOWN THERE...
THAT'S MY DAD.
(chokes)
(thud)
ALL RIGHT, THEN.
♪♪
I'M A HACKER.
GETTING INTO THE SPERM BANK'S FILES WAS CAKE.
I GOT CLINT'S NAME, GOOGLED HIM, FOUND OUT HE OWNED A GYM.
I PRETENDED I WANTED TO LEARN HOW TO BOX
SO I COULD GET TO KNOW MY DAD. AND SHE HAS NO IDEA?
ARE YOU KIDDING? MY MOM'S A TOTAL PACIFIST. NO. THAT YOU TRACKED DOWN YOUR DAD.
NO. NO WAY, DUDE.
SHE'S REALLY SENSITIVE ABOUT HER ABILITY
TO RAISE ME ON HER OWN. WELL, WHEN DO YOU PLAN ON TELLING HER?
MY DEATHBED? HER DEATHBED? I STILL HAVEN'T DECIDED.
I GUESS IF IT WORKS OUT, I CAN MENTION IT IN THE WEDDING TOAST.
(speaking indistinctly) (Marshall) SOMETHING'S WRONG.
(indistinct conversations)
COME ON.
HEY. WHAT HAPPENED?
THE GUY SAID HE WAS A REPUBLICAN.
THE WOMAN STARTED TO LAUGH BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT
HE WAS JOKING, AND HE TOLD HER HE WASN'T. CLINT'S A REPUBLICAN?
THEN THEY GOT INTO THIS WHOLE THING ABOUT GITMO.
THEN SHE USES THIS EXPRESSION, WHICH I'M NOT GONNA USE
IN FRONT OF THE MINOR, BUT IT'S THE SAME THING THAT I SAY
TO FELIX EVERY TIME HE BUTTS INTO MY PERSONAL BUSINESS.
IF IT'S THE ONE I'M THINKING OF, IT'S NOT PARTICULARLY FRIENDLY. MM-HMM.
OKAY. PASSION IS GOOD. NO, YOU DON'T GET IT. MY MOM IS A HARD-CORE LEFTY.
ARE YOU SAYING YOUR MOM'S GONNA PASS UP DREAM GUY
BECAUSE OF POLITICS? IT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M SAYING.
THE MATCH IS DOOMED.
(scoffs)
(horns honk)
TREVOR, WHY DO YOU HAVE A TEENAGE BOY WITH YOU?
WHO, HIM? HE'S MY INNER CHILD.
I DON'T KNOW HOW HE GOT OUT. I'M A LITTLE FREAKED OUT. TREVOR--
CAN WE DISPENSE WITH THE FOREPLAY?
MARSHALL'S MOTHER IS A DEMOCRAT. SHE'S ON A DATE
WITH THIS GREAT GUY, OKAY? IT'S GOING LIKE GANGBUSTERS.
IT COMES OUT HE'S REPUBLICAN. BOOM--SHE'S OUT THE DOOR.
I DON'T GET IT. DEMOCRAT, REPUBLICAN, WHO CARES?
POLITICAL BELIEFS ARE CORE ISSUES FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE.
WHEN MAKING A RELATIONSHIP WORK IS SO HARD,
WHY START ONE WITH A GIGANTIC OBSTACLE? (man) BECAUSE YOU COULD END UP WITH SOMETHING WONDERFUL.
SORRY. AM I ALLOWED TO CUT IN LIKE THAT? OF COURSE. PLEASE.
MY PARENTS WERE ON OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE POLITICAL SPECTRUM.
FOR 40 YEARS, THEY CANCELED OUT EACH OTHER'S VOTES,
BUT THEY HAD A GREAT MARRIAGE. HOW'D THEY MANAGE THAT?
THEY FOUND SOMETHING THEY CARED ABOUT MORE PASSIONATELY
THAN POLITICS--THE YANKEES. (laughter)
WHAT ELSE ARE CLINT AND YOUR MOM PASSIONATE ABOUT?
SERIOUSLY, TREVOR, IT'S BAD ENOUGH WHEN YOU MESS AROUND
IN THE LIVES OF ADULTS WHEN YOU MAKE YOUR MATCHES,
BUT TO GET INVOLVED WITH A CHILD? A TEENAGER WHO WANTS HIS MOM TO BE HAPPY.
LOOK, THIS ISN'T JUST ABOUT ME MAKING MY MATCHES.
IT'S WHAT YOUR PEOPLE WOULD CALL A "MITZVAH." I'M NOT JEWISH.
MARSHALL'S THE ONE THAT GOT THE BALL ROLLING. SO HE SET UP THE DATE.
HE'S ADORABLE, ISN'T HE? I CALL HIM "MINI-CUPID."
I GOT IT. THEIR OTHER GREAT PASSION--IT'S WINE.
(doorbell rings)
MOM, I WASN'T EXPECTING YOU...
AND YOUR SUITCASES.
IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN, BOYS.
IT SEEMS LIKE JUST YESTERDAY. IT'S OVER WITH HECTOR.
THE FLAMENCO DANCER?
THAT WAS RONALDO.
HECTOR'S A PLAYWRIGHT,
A-AN UNDISCOVERED GENIUS.
THEY'RE ALWAYS UNDISCOVERED,
YET YOU ALWAYS MANAGE TO FIND THEM.
I DON'T THINK I CAN GO ON.
I KNOW IT FEELS LIKE YOUR WORLD IS GOING TO END RIGHT NOW,
BUT YOU ARE GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS.
I DON'T WANT TO GET THROUGH THIS.
MY BONES LOVE HIM.
I'LL GET YOUR SUITCASES.
(sighs)
HI. ARE YOU HALLIE?
YES.
I'M TREVOR PIERCE FROM WNYD. CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU'VE WON A PASS TO THE AMERICAN PREMIERE
OF THIS YEAR'S BEAUJOLAIS. SERIOUSLY? I MEAN, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN DYING TO GO TO--
BUT I DIDN'T ENTER A CONTEST, SO HOW DID I...
THERE WAS AN ESSAY COMPETITION. THE ENTRANTS WERE ASKED
TO WRITE ABOUT SOMEONE THEY THOUGHT WAS DESERVING.
YOUR SON WROTE ABOUT YOU. MARSHALL'S ESSAY WON?
IN ADDITION TO THE TASTING, YOU WILL ALSO RECEIVE THIS.
AH.
IS THAT YOUR SON?
FROM THE ESSAY, HE DIDN'T GIVE THE IMPRESSION
THAT HE WAS SO FULL... OF LIFE. HE'S ACTUALLY LOST A TON OF WEIGHT.
I NEED TO BRING IN A BETTER PICTURE. I WAS A BIT OF A CHUNKY KID MYSELF.
I MEAN, EVERYBODY SAID I WAS CHERUBIC,
BUT I KNEW THEY WEREN'T TALKING ABOUT MY SUNNY DEMEANOR. (laughs)
WHAT CAUSED THE TURNAROUND? HE FOUND A YOGA CLASS.
IT'S AMAZING. HE HAS COMPLETELY BLOSSOMED.
I MEAN, HE'S CONFIDENT NOW, OUTGOING.
HE'S EVEN BETTER AT SCHOOL, EXCEPT FOR CHEMISTRY. (laughs)
BUT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT GETTING HIM A TUTOR.
I'M SORRY. I MUST BE BORING YOU. NO, I-I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY.
NOTHING MAKES A PARENT HAPPIER THAN SEEING THEIR CHILD DO WELL.
DO I JUST SHOW UP AT THE CHASE REGENCY HOTEL
AT 8:00 ON THURSDAY? ACTUALLY, THE STATION'S GONNA NEED A PHOTO,
SO IF YOU CAN BE AT THIS ADDRESS
ONE HOUR BEFORE THE EVENT... (paper rustles)
OH.
(horn blares)
(laughter on TV)
(man speaking indistinctly)
DID YOU EVEN GET OUT OF YOUR PAJAMAS TODAY?
I GOT CAUGHT UP IN "I LOVE LUCY."
DO YOU KNOW WHY EVERYBODY LOVES LUCY?
BECAUSE EVERYTHING SHE DOES IS OUT OF LOVE.
NO, EVERYTHING LUCY DOES IS OUT OF EGO AND INSECURITY.
SHE HAS NO REGARD FOR RICKY'S PROFESSIONAL LIFE
OR THE HARD WORK AND TALENT IT TOOK TO GET THERE. WHY ARE YOU SO TENSE, CLAIRE?
I DON'T KNOW, MOM, BUT I HAVE A SNEAKING SUSPICION
IT MIGHT CHANGE WHEN YOU GO BACK HOME. I HAVE NO HOME.
WITHOUT HECTOR'S BONES, YES, I UNDERSTAND.
NO, I'M LETTING HECTOR STAY IN MY APARTMENT INDEFINITELY.
MOM, ADULTS DON'T JUST GIVE THEIR APARTMENTS
TO THEIR EX-BOYFRIENDS.
MAYBE YOU COULD TALK TO HIM.
HI. HEY.
WE'RE JUST WAITING FOR THE OTHER WINNERS
AND THE PHOTOGRAPHER. SHOULD BE HERE ANY MINUTE. OH, GREAT, I'M SO EXCITED.
WELL, TRUST ME,
THIS IS GONNA BE EVEN BETTER THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR. (laughs)
OH, MY GOD.
SOMETHING INTERESTING?
(punching, men grunting)
MOM?
YOU SURE IT WAS YOGA THAT MADE HIM BLOSSOM?
SO ALL THIS TIME I THOUGHT
YOU WERE TAKING A YOGA CLASS, YOU'VE BEEN COMING HERE?
I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D LET ME DO IT, YOU KNOW,
'CAUSE OF YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT VIOLENCE. IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE BOMBING CAMBODIA.
DO I LOVE BOXING? NO. BUT IT IS A SPORT.
BUT NO MORE LYING...
OR MATCHMAKING.
ALL I DID WAS SHOW GINNY CLINT'S PHOTO AND BIO
FROM THE GYM WEB SITE, AND THEN SHE MADE CAT NOISES
AND SAID THAT IF YOU DIDN'T GO OUT WITH HIM, SHE WOULD. AND THE WINE TASTING?
THAT WAS MOSTLY TREVOR.
HE DOESN'T WORK AT THE RADIO STATION.
HE'S MY TUTOR. HE ALSO WORKS AT THAT BAR YOU LIKE--TRES EQUIS.
HE CAN SEE HOW MUCH I WANT THINGS TO WORK
FOR YOU AND CLINT. SWEETIE, CLINT IS A WONDERFUL MAN, REALLY.
BUT WE HAVE SOME FUNDAMENTAL DISAGREEMENTS.
HE'S A REPUBLICAN. SO WHAT?
IT'S LIKE SOMEONE SAYING,
"HERE'S THE MOST AWESOME SLICE OF PIZZA EVER,
BUT I SNEEZED ON IT."
IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW OTHERWISE PERFECT IT IS
IF IT'S COVERED IN SNEEZE.
MARSHALL, CAN YOU GIVE US A MINUTE?
WHAT HAPPENED?
WE WERE SUPPOSED TO MEET UP AT THE WINE TASTING.
(scoffs) ROOKIE.
LOOK, YOU'RE ROCKY, I'M MICKEY.
(imitates Burgess Meredith) I WANT YOU TO CHASE THAT CHICKEN. WHAT?
JUST TRUST ME, KID. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M DOING.
I'M GUESSING THAT IF I HAD USED THE TICKET THAT MARSHALL GAVE ME
FOR THE WINE TASTING, WE WOULD HAVE RUN INTO EACH OTHER.
I'M SORRY ABOUT ALL OF THIS.
APPARENTLY, MY SON IS A SECRET YENTA. (chuckles)
SOMETIMES HE GETS A LITTLE...
OVERENTHUSIASTIC?
IT'S ONE OF HIS BETTER QUALITIES, THOUGH. TRUE.
MARSHALL'S A TERRIFIC KID.
I KNOW, WHATEVER HE DOES, IT COMES FROM A GOOD PLACE.
I WISH I COULD SAY THAT ABOUT MORE PEOPLE.
SO, UH...
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ABOUT THIS WINE TASTING?
(chuckles)
SO, CLINT, MARSHALL TELLS ME YOU GIVE FREE BOXING LESSONS
TO TROUBLED INNER-CITY KIDS.
I DID INDEED TELL YOU THAT VERY THING.
TO THINK WHAT THOSE KIDS' LIVES WOULD BE LIKE WITHOUT CLINT--
DRUGS, GUNS... DOGFIGHTING?
TOO MUCH.
WELL, THAT WAS QUITE A SHOW.
WELL, ALTHOUGH WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS ACTUALLY IMPRESSIVE. OH, IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL.
YOU KNOW, WE PRODUCE THESE SHORT "COMMUNITY HEROES" SEGMENTS
AT THE PSB STATION I WORK FOR.
YOUR WORK AT THE GYM WOULD MAKE A GREAT PIECE.
I'M VERY FLATTERED, BUT, UM, I REALLY DON'T THINK I MERIT ONE.
WILL YOU AT LEAST THINK ABOUT IT?
(indistinct conversations, jazz playing)
THEY WON'T LET ME IN.
APPARENTLY, I'M NOT OLD ENOUGH TO SPIT WINE IN A BUCKET.
OH, WELL, WE SHOULD PROBABLY HEAD HOME, ANYWAY.
(French accent) AND MISS TASTING
THE 2005 CHATEAU de COULAINE CHINON LES PICASSES?
I'D NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF.
(normal voice) GO SWISH AND SIP.
I'LL WAIT UP HERE WITH THE KID.
I COME FROM A LONG, DISTINGUISHED LINE
OF BEER-FROM-A-CAN ENTHUSIASTS.
YOU KNOW, I WASN'T EVEN INTO WINE AT ALL
WHEN I SAW THAT MOVIE "SIDEWAYS,"
AND ALL I COULD THINK WAS, "OH, MY GOD, PLEASE SHUT UP."
(laughs) AND THEN I HAD MY FIRST GLASS
OF RUSSIAN RIVER VALLEY BARBERA
AND FOUND MYSELF USING THE WORD "PLUMMY."
(chuckles) IT'S A SLIPPERY SLOPE. (chuckles)
WHY THE HECK DO THEY KEEP MOVING?
I'M GOING AROUND TO THE OTHER SIDE.
TREVOR, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
IS "VOYEURING" A WORD?
NO. WELL, THEN I'M NOT DOING THAT.
HELLO. I'M LIV. I'M CLAIRE'S MOTHER.
CLAIRE'S MOTHER?
REALLY?
HEH. YOU MUST HAVE A LOT OF STORIES. TREVOR.
IF YOU DON'T MIND MY SAYING,
YOUR DAUGHTER IS INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL,
BUT SHE'S A PAIN IN THE ASS. I SEE YOU KNOW HER WELL.
HEH. LIKE THE BACK OF HER SMART, SEXY, JUDGMENTAL HAND.
I THINK YOU FOUND A GOOD ONE HERE, CLAIRE. I DIDN'T FIND HIM. HE'S NOT MINE.
SHE NEVER INTRODUCES ME TO ANY OF HER BOYFRIENDS. HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND.
WE'RE ON A BREAK. OH...
WE'RE NOT ON A BREAK. REALLY? WHAT ARE YOU DOING LATER?
WELL, I CAN ALWAYS GET A ROOM, SWEETIE. THERE'S NOTHING GOING ON BETWEEN US, MOM.
I KNOW TREVOR FROM WORK. OH... OH, I SEE.
(whispers) YOUR SECRET'S SAFE WITH ME. (whispers) THANK YOU.
NO, THERE'S NO SECRET. IT'S FICTION. (normal voice) IT'S SO NICE
TO SEE YOU FINALLY HAVE CHEMISTRY WITH SOMEONE.
THERE'S NO CHEMISTRY. I'LL MEET YOU DOWNSTAIRS, CLAIRE,
AND IF YOU KIDS, UH, WIND UP OVER AT THE APARTMENT,
JUST LEAVE A SOCK ON THE DOOR.
(chuckles)
IT'S NOT MY FAULT WE HAVE CHEMISTRY.
I'M SURPRISED YOU EVEN AGREED TO GO OUT WITH ME
IN THE FIRST PLACE.
YOU DON'T SEEM LIKE THE BLIND-DATE TYPE.
OKAY, I-I HAVE A LITTLE WINE BUZZ,
SO I'LL BE HONEST.
I-I DID THIS COMPUTER DATING THING
A ZILLION YEARS AGO,
AND YOU KNOW HOW YOU FILL OUT THE FORM,
BASICALLY LISTING ALL THE QUALITIES
OF THE PERSON YOU'RE LOOKING FOR?
WELL, WHEN GINNY WAS DESCRIBING YOU,
IT WAS LIKE CHECKING OFF ALL OF MY ANSWERS. (chuckles)
EXCEPT FOR THE REPUBLICAN PART.
SURPRISINGLY...
POLITICS NEVER CAME UP. THAT IS SURPRISING.
I'M SURE IT WOULD'VE BEEN A DEAL BREAKER, THOUGH?
DEFINITELY. ON PAPER, ALL OF THOSE RIGHT ANSWERS
WOULD'VE BEEN IMMEDIATELY CANCELED OUT
BY THE WORD "REPUBLICAN."
YET, HERE YOU ARE,
AND I'M FINDING MYSELF THINKING ABOUT ALL THOSE...
RIGHT ANSWERS.
(chuckles)
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE STILL TRYING TO FIX THEM UP, TREVOR.
SHE ALREADY PICKED HIM ONCE,
OUT OF A WHOLE BINDER FULL OF DONORS.
WAIT, ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU'RE MATCHING HALLIE UP
WITH HER SON'S SPERM DONOR FATHER?
I KNOW. IT'S A NO-BRAINER.
SOMETIMES I DO FEEL LIKE I'M JUST DESTINY'S WINGMAN. (sighs)
TREVOR, YOU GOTTA SEE THIS.
(Felix) HEY, IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING,
THE SOUND OF YOU PACING BACK AND FORTH FOR THE LAST HOUR
IS, IN FACT, ANNOYING. THIS IS HOW I THINK.
CAN YOU TRY SITTING ON A SLAB OF MARBLE
AND LEANING YOUR CHIN ON YOUR HAND? MARSHALL SAYS HIS MOTHER AND CLINT
HAVE SEEN EACH OTHER EVERY NIGHT FOR TWO WEEKS.
EVERYTHING'S GREAT. SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
THE BEAD HASN'T MOVED. IT'S BEEN LIKE THAT FOR WEEKS.
NO HALLIE-CLINT BEAD. HMM. WAIT.
YEAH... I THINK I CAN SOLVE THIS FOR YOU.
HOW ABOUT WE JUST...
WHOOP!
(sighs) THE BEAD DOESN'T MOVE
UNTIL THE GODS DECIDE IT'S TRUE LOVE.
YOU UNDERSTAND I HAVE NO RESPONSE TO THAT.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE PROBLEM IS.
I MEAN, MARSHALL SAYS THAT POLITICS NEVER EVEN COME UP.
HAVE THEY MET EACH OTHER'S FRIENDS AND FAMILY YET?
I DON'T THINK SO.
THAT COULD BE IT. THEY'RE STILL IN THE COCOON.
FOR IT TO BE A MATCH, IT HAS TO LIVE IN THE REAL WORLD.
SO, YEAH, IF I DIDN'T HAVE THIS GYM, WHERE WOULD I BE?
I DON'T KNOW. THIS GYM IS HOME TO ME.
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S GREAT. THAT'LL DO IT.
THANKS. THANKS, JAMES.
ANYTHING ELSE YOU NEED, JUST LET ME KNOW. OKAY.
HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE LOVED? BY WHO--JAMES?
HE'D CUT MY THROAT IF I LOOKED AT HIM SIDEWAYS. THAT'S RIGHT, WHITEY.
HE SAID YOU LET HIM STAY WITH YOU
WHEN HIS DAD GOT OUT OF PRISON. AH, IT WAS JUST A COUPLE OF WEEKS.
HMM. ARE YOU READY TO GRAB SOME DINNER?
YEAH, WE HAVE TO STOP BY TRES EQUIS.
MARSHALL TEXTED ME. HE LEFT HIS GEOMETRY BOOK THERE.
SHOULD I WORRY THAT MY SON HANGS OUT AT A BAR?
HEY.
HALLIE! CLINT! WHAT CAN I GET YA?
I ACTUALLY JUST CAME BY TO GET MY SON'S MATH BOOK FROM A BAR.
BUT I GUESS IT IS QUIET ENOUGH IN HERE TO DO HOMEWORK, HUH?
IT'S PRETTY SLOW TONIGHT. PRIVATE PARTY.
SO... SURE YOU DON'T WANT SOMETHING TO DRINK?
NO.
WILL YOU DRINK FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
IT ISN'T MY BIRTHDAY FOR SIX WEEKS.
OH. OOH, THIS IS AWKWARD.
WHAT IS?
UM....
(cash register dings)
(all) SURPRISE!
OH, MY GOD.
IT'S EVERYONE I'VE EVER KNOWN AND...
A BUNCH OF PEOPLE I DON'T.
SO YOU DON'T KNOW MY NEIGHBOR PHIL...
MY DORM MATE FRESHMAN YEAR OF COLLEGE...
OR MY BROTHERS?
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK? SURPRISED?
YEAH, I THINK OUR BROTHER WAS RIGHT.
YOU'RE EXTREMELY COOL FOR A LIBERAL.
AND IF HE STARTS DRINKING SOY LATTES
AND DRIVING AROUND A CAR THAT RUNS ON EGGSHELLS AND DIRT,
WE MIGHT HAVE A PROBLEM.
YOU SEEM LIKE A REALLY SMART GUY. THANKS.
HOW CAN YOU BE A REPUBLICAN? I THINK WHAT SHE MEANS IS,
WHEN PEOPLE ARE EDUCATED ABOUT THE ISSUES,
THEY USUALLY END UP DEMOCRATS. TRAGIC STORY, ACTUALLY. I WAS A DEMOCRAT.
THEN I WAS IN A CAR ACCIDENT, SUSTAINED A HEAD INJURY.
SINCE THEN I'VE BEEN ALL ABOUT SMALL GOVERNMENT
AND STRONG MILITARY.
HMM.
JUST KIDDING, LADIES. EXCUSE ME.
CAN I BORROW YOU FOR A MINUTE?
UH, ABSOLUTELY. (chuckles)
THIS IS A DISASTER. OH, OKAY.
SERIOUSLY, I MEAN, WERE YOU RAISED IN A DIFFERENT HOME
THAN YOUR BROTHERS? HOW ARE YOU SO DIFFERENT?
I'M NOT THAT DIFFERENT. I MEANT IT AS A COMPLIMENT.
INSULTING MY BROTHERS IS A COMPLIMENT? LOOK, I AM SORRY, OKAY?
THEY JUST GOT ME ALL WORKED UP. WELL, THAT'S PART OF THEIR CHARM.
JUST ASK THEIR EX-WIVES. BUT HONESTLY...
NEARLY SIX YEARS AFTER "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED"?
HOW CAN THEY STILL BELIEVE THAT THE IRAQ WAR WAS A GOOD IDEA?
I DON'T KNOW.
MMM... BECAUSE IT WAS A GOOD IDEA?
YOU KNOW, YES, THERE WERE MISTAKES MADE--
YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT?
I BELIEVE THAT THERE ARE BAD PEOPLE OUT THERE,
AND THEY HAVE TO BE DEALT WITH. SO WE SHOULD JUST BOMB THE CRAP OUT OF EVERYONE
WHO DOES THINGS THAT WE DON'T LIKE?
WELL, YOU CAN'T REASON WITH MADMEN.
YOU HAVE TO BRING THE FIGHT TO THEM. OH, THAT'S RIGHT, I FORGET.
DIPLOMACY--THE BULWARK OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION--
IS GIRLY.
(scoffs)
YEAH, I'M NOT SO SURE THIS IS A GOOD IDEA.
IT HAD TO BE DONE.
WE GOTTA GET THEM OUT OF THEIR COCOON.
WE'RE BRINGING THE REAL WORLD TO THEM.
YEAH, WELL, THIS MIGHT BE TOO MUCH REAL WORLD.
(horn blares in distance)
(telephone buzzes)
(woman) Hallie? It's Marshall's school on line two.
HALLIE BUTLER.
HE DID WHAT?
WHAT POSSESSED YOU TO HIT ANOTHER BOY?
I GOT TIRED OF HIM GETTING IN MY FACE EVERY DAY.
A GUY CAN ONLY GET PICKED ON SO MUCH. WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS.
YOU TRY TO TALK IT OUT, OR YOU GET A TEACHER.
TALKING DIDN'T WORK, AND I GOTTA SAY,
CLINT'S WAY WAS A WHOLE LOT MORE SATISFYING. CLINT?
HE TOLD ME THAT IF THE KID KEPT IT UP,
TO PUT HIS ASS ON THE GROUND. THAT'S WHAT I DID.
(scoffs)
DID YOU TELL MY SON TO HIT ANOTHER CHILD?
CHILD? THE KID MARSHALL CLOCKED HAS A BEARD.
I WAS WILLING TO DEAL WITH THE BOXING,
BUT ATTACKING ANOTHER CHILD IS UNACCEPTABLE. MARSHALL WAS GETTING PICKED ON.
HE NEEDED TO LEARN TO DEFEND HIMSELF.
THAT'S NOT YOUR DECISION TO MAKE. I'M THE PARENT. YOU MAY BE THE PARENT,
BUT YOU'VE NEVER BEEN A 15-YEAR-OLD BOY.
I'M SORRY,
BUT "GET THE TEACHER" DOESN'T SOLVE THIS PARTICULAR PROBLEM.
SO YOU KNOW WHAT'S BETTER FOR MARSHALL THAN HIS MOTHER? IN THIS CASE, YEAH.
VIOLENCE AS A SOLUTION.
HOW VERY REPUBLICAN OF YOU.
MAYBE WE SHOULD ACT LIKE DEMOCRATS--
OFFER THE BULLY MILK AND COOKIES,
GET HIM TO TALK ABOUT HIS FEELINGS.
WE'RE THROUGH! YOU THINK?
LET'S GO. WE'RE DONE HERE.
(Hallie) COME ON, MARSHALL!
I THINK IT'S TIME TO CONSIDER THE NUCLEAR OPTION.
TELL MOM THAT CLINT'S MY DAD?
YOU WANNA BE THE ONE MOPPING UP THE MOM PUDDLE
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FLOOR? DON'T YOU GET IT?
THAT THING--THE THING THAT THEY CARE MORE PASSIONATELY ABOUT
THAN POLITICS-- IT AIN'T WINE, PAL.
IT'S YOU.
MARSHALL! LET'S GO.
(whispers) HEY.
(horns honking in distance)
HEY, MARSHALL.
HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
LITTLE, UH, POPCORN HOMEWORK BREAK?
DOES THE KID HAVE IT IN HIM?
ONLY A FEW HOURS TO COMPLETE
THE 24-HOUR, SILENT TREATMENT MARATHON.
CAN HE DO IT?
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THIS IS A RECORD POUT
FOR THE KID FROM HELL'S KITCHEN! (imitates crowd cheering)
(microwave beeps)
(closes microwave door)
TWO STICKS?
OKAY, I GET IT.
YOU'RE MAD AT ME BECAUSE I WON'T LET YOU GO BOX.
YOU KNOW, MAYBE YOU SHOULD'VE CONSIDERED PASSIVE AGGRESSION
INSTEAD OF PUNCHING THAT KID AT SCHOOL.
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE PRETTY GREAT AT IT, TOO.
MARSHALL, COME ON.
LET'S JUST TALK THIS OUT, OKAY?
JUST SAY SOMETHING.
ANYTHING?
I THINK DICK CHENEY GETS A BAD RAP.
(kicks door)
MR. ROBERTS, WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS.
YOU'RE BALD. YOU'RE NOT INVISIBLE.
NOW I KNOW YOU FEEL PEOPLE IGNORE YOU
BECAUSE OF YOUR BALDNESS, BUT THAT'S JUST-- (knock on door)
DR. McCRAE, YOUR MOM IS HERE.
SHE'S GOING TO HAVE TO WAIT. SHE REALLY NEEDS TO SEE YOU.
MOM, WHAT'S WRONG? I STOLE HIS UMBRELLA.
OH, GOOD, YOU'RE HERE.
APPARENTLY, BARTENDERS/BAR OWNERS
GIVING SAGE ADVICE--NOT SO TRUE. FELIX TOLD ME
I NEEDED TO BREAK HALLIE AND CLINT OUT OF THEIR COCOON.
TOTAL DISASTER. I NEED YOUR HELP.
LIV, WHAT'S WRONG?
WHAT DID CLAIRE DO? I WENT TO MY LOVER'S APARTMENT.
IT'S YOUR APARTMENT, MOM, AND HE'S YOUR EX-LOV--
DIDN'T WE AGREE TO USE THE TERM "BOYFRIEND"?
LET HER SPEAK, CLAIRE. THANK YOU, TREVOR.
I STOOD THERE, OUTSIDE OF HIS DOOR,
READY TO TELL HECTOR,
ALTHOUGH OUR LOVE HAD NOT DIMMED,
WE NEEDED TO MOVE ON. WHY? YOU GUYS SOUND PERFECT.
TREVOR-- HE'S A JUNKIE, TREVOR.
WELL, OKAY, THAT'S DIFFERENT. HE'S A JUNKIE,
AND I'M THE DRUG.
IF THAT'S A METAPHOR, I'M BACK TO "PLAY ON."
MOM, THE UMBRELLA. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA SAY--
THAT HE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO FINISH HIS MASTERPIECE
BECAUSE HE CAN'T KEEP HIS HANDS OFF OF HIS MUSE.
THAT'S NOT WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY...
AT ALL.
I SAW HIS UMBRELLA LYING THERE, LEANING BY THE DOOR,
STILL WET FROM HIS MORNING WALK.
I HAD TO HAVE IT. I THINK THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.
(clears throat)
MR. ROBERTS, I CAN SEE YOU.
PLEASE, WAIT FOR ME IN MY OFFICE.
I WILL BE RIGHT BACK IN THERE. PROMISE.
MR. ROBERTS IS HERE? WHERE?
WHEREVER YOU ARE, BUDDY,
I MISS YOU AND ALL THE OTHER BOYS IN THE "B" WING!
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT EVERYBODY IN HERE NEEDS?
A GOOD DOSE OF REALITY.
MR. ROBERTS, THE REASON DIANE SAWYER NEVER TOOK THE ROSE
YOU HELD OUT OVER THE "GMA" BARRICADE
WAS NOT BECAUSE SHE COULDN'T SEE YOU.
AND, MOM, WITH OR WITHOUT YOU, HECTOR IS NEVER
GOING TO COMPLETE A MASTERPIECE, AND, TREVOR,
YOUR MATCH WILL NEVER WORK OUT IF THEIR AFFECTION
CANNOT SURVIVE IN THE REAL WORLD.
EVERYONE CLEAR HERE? EXCELLENT.
MR. ROBERTS, LET'S GET BACK TO WORK.
TREVOR, WE WILL PICK THIS UP LATER, AND, MOM, I WILL HANDLE
THINGS WITH HECTOR JUST LIKE WE BOTH KNEW I EVENTUALLY WOULD.
YOU REALLY MAKE MY DAUGHTER CRAZY,
DO YOU KNOW THAT?
(video game playing on computer)
(sighs)
SO ON MY WAY HOME, I HAD ANOTHER IDEA I WANTED TO RUN BY YOU.
NOW, AS I UNDERSTAND IT, IN CANADA,
THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS OR DEMOCRATS.
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT RELOCATION?
YEAH, THAT-- THAT'S GONNA FLY.
MOM?
FIRST THE LYING, NOW THE OUTRIGHT DEFIANCE?
YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE.
YOU'RE NOT? I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T KNOW
MARSHALL WAS TOLD HE COULDN'T COME HERE.
COME ON, CLINT, LET'S GO. MARSHALL. HEY, BUDDY, COME ON.
MARSHALL, STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING. CLIMB DOWN OUT OF THERE.
WE ARE GOING HOME. YOU DON'T WANT TO DATE CLINT
OVER SOMETHING AS STUPID AS POLITICS,
THAT'S YOUR CHOICE, BUT YOU CAN'T KEEP ME FROM SEEING HIM.
OH, I MOST CERTAINLY CAN. I AM YOUR MOTHER.
YEAH.
WELL...
HE'S MY FATHER.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, DAD? CAN I KEEP BOXING?
WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY, MARSHALL?
I TRACKED HIM DOWN, OKAY?
I FOUND THE NAME OF THE AGENCY IN YOUR FILES,
AND I HACKED INTO THEIR DATABASE.
IT WASN'T THAT HARD.
CLINT...
IS THIS... POSSIBLE?
WERE YOU A...
I MEAN, DID YOU...
(scoffs)
I SUPPOSE YOU'RE GOING TO EXPECT AN ALLOWANCE.
I JUST WANTED TO MEET MY DAD.
I TOLD MYSELF WHEN I FIRST CAME IN HERE
THAT IF YOU'RE A MAJOR TOOL, I WAS JUST GONNA WALK OUT
AND FORGET I EVER TRACKED YOU DOWN.
BUT YOU WEREN'T.
YOU CHANGED MY LIFE.
MARSHALL, YOUR MOM.
MOM!
(chuckles softly)
(Trevor) How'd it go? She coping?
SHE'S CALMED DOWN, BUT IT WAS BAD.
I just spent the last three hours trying to convince her
THAT I DIDN'T TRACK DOWN MY FATHER BECAUSE SHE'D FAILED ME.
I should probably go.
DID YOU TALK TO HER ABOUT CLINT?
NOT THE TIME, TREVOR.
GOT IT. ALL RIGHT, LET'S TALK TOMORROW.
BYE.
(sighs) SOUNDS LIKE THE TRUTH HAS COME OUT?
TRUST ME. IT'S FOR THE BEST.
I KNOW, AND IT HASN'T HAD THE DESIRED EFFECT SO FAR.
I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO TAKE YOUR WORD.
HEY, BY THE WAY, I WAS VERY PLEASED
TO GET YOUR PHONE CALL TODAY. I MEAN, THAT'S A FIRST--
YOU ASKING ME FOR A FAVOR.
UH, JUST SO WE'RE CLEAR, WHEN THIS HECTOR ANSWERS THE DOOR,
YOU WANT ME TO POP HIM? NO, I JUST WANT TO PLAY IT SAFE.
I CALLED HIM YESTERDAY, AND HE WAS BRUSQUE
WHEN I SUGGESTED IT WAS TIME HE MOVED OUT.
JUST STAND NEXT TO ME AND TRY TO LOOK MORE LIKE THE GOD OF WAR
THAN THE GOD OF LOVE. SHOW HIM YOUR MEAN FACE.
(scoffs) AND BE CAREFUL.
IF MY MOTHER IS TO BE BELIEVED,
THIS HECTOR WAS A SAMURAI RONIN IN HIS LAST LIFE.
APPARENTLY, HE CAN ALSO SPEAK TO THE WIND.
UH, YOU'RE HAVING YOUR DELUSIONAL PATIENT
HELP YOU WITH YOUR DELUSIONAL MOM.
I KEEP THINKING THAT SHE'S GONNA...
I DON'T KNOW, GROW UP SOMEDAY,
SEE THE WORLD AS IT IS.
SHE SEES THE WORLD FILLED WITH LOVE AND BEAUTY.
SHE SEES THE BEST IN PEOPLE. WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?
IT'S SELFISH. SELFISH? HOW'S IT SELFISH?
SHE WEARS HER HEART ON HER SLEEVE,
AND IT GETS CRUSHED.
I MEAN, WHO DO YOU THINK PICKS UP THE PIECES? (door buzzes)
SHE LEAVES HER 16-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER TO TAKE CARE
OF HER LITTLE SISTER
WHILE SHE FOLLOWS SOME GLASSBLOWER TO PERU?
(imitates Liv) "HE'S A GRAND MASTER, CLAIRE."
I LOOKED IT UP, TREVOR.
THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A GRAND MASTER GLASSBLOWER.
THERE'S NO ANSWER.
MAYBE HE DID TAKE ME SERIOUSLY AND MOVED OUT ON HIS OWN.
(sniffles)
(music playing indistinctly on headphones)
(meows)
PRETTY MUCH AS ADVERTISED, HUH?
(door closes)
HECTOR, WHO BUZZED THE...
DOOR? (volume raises)
(music stops)
YOU'VE GOT TEN MINUTES TO GRAB YOUR THINGS.
AFTER THAT, I'M CALLING THE POLICE,
AND THEY DECIDE WHO'S TRESPASSING.
(scoffs)
HEY.
SO FOR THE PAST 19 HOURS,
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO SORT OUT MY FEELINGS,
AND THIS IS WHAT I KNOW FOR CERTAIN.
MOSTLY WHAT I'M FEELING IS JOY.
I HAVE FELT THIS CONNECTION TO MARSHALL
SINCE THE DAY HE WALKED INTO THE GYM.
SO ARE YOU ASKING ME IF YOU CAN CONTINUE SEEING MARSHALL?
YES.
BUT THERE'S THIS, TOO.
I THINK WE SHOULD GIVE US ANOTHER CHANCE.
WE'D BREAK MARSHALL'S HEART
IF WE TRIED AND IT DIDN'T WORK OUT.
YOU KNOW, I TRY TO INSTILL THIS MIND-SET IN THE KIDS
WHO TRAIN WITH ME--
NOTHING WORTH HAVING COMES EASY.
MARSHALL CAME INTO MY GYM
50 POUNDS OVERWEIGHT.
AND THERE WERE DAYS HE WOULD LEAVE SOAKED IN SWEAT
AND I'D PUSHED HIM SO HARD,
I THOUGHT HE MIGHT NOT SHOW UP THE NEXT DAY.
BUT HE KEPT COMING BACK.
WE GOT HIT, AND WE JUST THREW IN THE TOWEL.
WE OWE MARSHALL SOME REAL EFFORT.
DOES IT REALLY MATTER WHO WE VOTE FOR?
(telephone buzzes)
(woman) Hallie? It's Marshall's school again. Line three.
HALLIE BUTLER.
(sighs)
NO, I SEE. OF COURSE.
I'LL BE THERE AS SOON AS I CAN.
(sighs)
MARSHALL GOT INTO ANOTHER FIGHT.
APPARENTLY, THE OTHER BOY INVOLVED REQUIRED STITCHES
FOR THE GASH ABOVE HIS EYE.
YOU KNOW, THIS WAS NOT WHO MY SON WAS
BEFORE HE MET YOU, CLINT, SO LET ME BE VERY CLEAR.
THERE IS NO CHANCE THAT YOU AND I ARE GOING TO HAPPEN,
AND AS FAR AS YOU SEEING MARSHALL AGAIN,
I'M NOT SURE YOUR INFLUENCE HAS BEEN GOOD FOR HIM.
THIS STOPS, MARSHALL. IT STOPS NOW.
I MEAN, WHAT POSSESSED YOU TO GET INTO ANOTHER FIGHT? I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT.
THAT'S THE FAIRY WHO BEAT YOU UP?
(scoffs)
I SEE NOW WHERE YOUR SON ACQUIRED HIS WONDERFUL MANNERS.
MOM, LET'S JUST GO.
IF HE CAN DO THIS TO YOU, MAYBE HE'S NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO'S GAY.
YOU KNOW, NOT THAT IT EVEN MATTERS,
BUT MY SON ISN'T GAY.
(scoffs)
SORRY I DIDN'T TELL YOU ABOUT IT SOONER,
BUT COME ON, IT NEVER CROSSED YOUR MIND?
(sighs) YEAH, IT'S CROSSED MY MIND.
YOU KNOW THAT I WILL LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU
NO MATTER WHAT, RIGHT? MY LIBERAL MOM?
I PROBABLY, UH, SCORED SOME POINTS.
I'M A BADGE OF HONOR.
(groans and laughs nervously)
(closes locker)
I THINK I GET IT.
THE BOXING... THE FIGHTS...
I STILL DON'T LIKE IT, BUT I UNDERSTAND.
CLINT SAYS IT JUST TAKES A COUPLE FIGHTS,
AND THEY'LL STOP MESSING WITH ME.
I'M 2-0.
DID CLINT KNOW
THE REASON YOU WERE GETTING PICKED ON?
HE'S KNOWN FOR A LONG TIME.
HE'S BEEN GREAT ABOUT IT.
ARE YOU MAD?
YEAH. (sighs)
AT MYSELF.
I HAVE MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE.
(exhales deeply)
HOW COULD I LET A MAN LIKE CLINT GO?
HE KNEW MARSHALL WAS GAY. HE TREATED HIM LIKE A SON.
I MEAN, I DON'T--I DON'T CARE WHO HE VOTES FOR. I--
YOU KNOW, THAT'S THE KIND OF MAN I WANT IN MARSHALL'S LIFE.
IN MY LIFE. I MEAN, HE'S THE ONLY GUY-- BUP-BUP-BUP-BUP-BUP.
DON'T BLOW ALL THIS FIERY PASSION ON ME.
IT'S NOT LIKE THERE'S A LITTLE CLINT FLY ON THE WALL.
BUT HE WON'T TAKE MY CALLS.
HE'S EVERYTHING I REALLY WANT, AND I'VE LOST HIM.
MM, YOU MAY HAVE LOST HIM FOR NOW, BUT...
MARSHALL HASN'T.
YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO BE IN THE MOOD
TO PERFECTLY EXECUTE AN INGENIOUS PLAN, WOULD YOU?
WHERE IS HE? WHERE'S WHO?
MARSHALL. YOU SAID HE WANTED TO SEE ME. I'M SURE HE DOES.
(chuckles) YOU CALLED ME AND YOU SAID,
"MARSHALL REALLY WANTS TO SEE YOU.
CAN YOU COME DOWN TO THE BAR?" SEE WHAT I DID THERE?
I'M CRAFTY LIKE THAT. ALWAYS SOMETHING UP MY SLEEVE.
MAKES YOU WONDER WHAT I'M GONNA DO NEXT.
(man) ♪ I WALK THESE STREETS I WALKED BEFORE ♪
I THINK MARSHALL WANTED YOU HERE
TO SEE THE WORLD PREMIERE OF HIS MOM'S PIECE ON YOUR GYM.
MY SON SOLD DRUGS ON THE CORNER.
MY KID WAS IN A GANG.
BOXING PROVIDED AN OUTLET FOR MY SON'S ANGER.
THE TRINITY BOXING CLUB GAVE MY SON A PLACE TO GO.
CLINT WILSON IS MORE THAN JUST A COACH.
HE'S A MENTOR.
HE'S A FATHER FIGURE.
(man) CLINT IS OUR FAMILY'S WHITE KNIGHT.
I AM A SINGLE MOM,
AND AS MUCH AS I LIKE TO THINK I CAN DO IT ALL,
I CAN'T.
SO I THANK GOD THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE
LIKE CLINT WILSON TO FILL IN THE HOLES.
I CAN'T IMAGINE MY SON'S LIFE WITHOUT HIM.
I CAN'T IMAGINE MY LIFE WITHOUT HIM.
♪♪
(applause)
♪♪
(Trevor) IT'S STILL A WORK IN PROGRESS.
I THINK THEY RUSHED IT INTO PRODUCTION,
BUT I BELIEVE THAT'S WHAT ONE MIGHT CALL A "LOVING TRIBUTE."
(sighs) I GOTTA GO FIND HALLIE.
YOUR TAB'S COVERED.
♪♪
I'M SORRY, BUT WHERE I COME FROM,
MEN DON'T LET WOMEN BUY THEM DRINKS.
YOU COME FROM THE 1950s? YOU LOOK GOOD.
THANKS. ALL THAT BIBLE THUMPING AND GUN TOTING
KEEPS ME YOUTHFUL.
HMM. WHILE I AGE WORKING LONGER HOURS
AND BEING PAID LESS THAN A MAN DOING THE SAME JOB.
(sighs)
YOU ARE EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER WANTED IN A MAN...
AND ONE THING I DIDN'T.
ASK ME HOW MUCH I CARE ABOUT THAT ONE THING.
HOW MUCH DO YOU CARE ABOUT--
♪♪
(Trevor sighs)
WHAT DID I TELL YOU?
THEY'RE THE PERFECT MATCH.
YEAH. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU CAN TOAST WITH A ROY ROGERS, BUT...
SALUTé.
(clink)
SO YOU REALLY THINK YOU'RE CUPID, HUH?
I DO.
HOW NERVOUS DOES IT MAKE YOU
THAT I AM SO DAMN GOOD AT THIS?
THE PLUS SIDE OF YOU BEING SO REGIMENTED
IS I KNOW EXACTLY WHEN YOU'RE GONNA BE HOME.
YOU MADE DINNER? DON'T ACT LIKE THAT'S SO STRANGE.
NO, I JUST--I'M SURPRISED AND EXCITED
THAT IT REQUIRES UTENSILS, AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA MAKE ME
SIT ON THE FLOOR AND EAT LENTILS WITH MY FINGERS.
YOU KNOW, I CAME THIS CLOSE TO MAKING ETHIOPIAN.
(sighs) TREVOR WAS RIGHT, AGAIN.
TREVOR? (bottle cork pops)
PLEASE TELL ME THAT WAS A CORK JUST POPPING OUT
OF A WINE BOTTLE ALL ON ITS OWN.
WOW. SHE IS LIKE CLOCKWORK. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
CLASSING UP THE JOINT?
AFTER YOU WERE SO SHORT WITH ME OUTSIDE YOUR OFFICE,
TREVOR AND I GOT TO TALKING, AND I INVITED HIM TO DINNER.
HE'S BEEN CHEERING ME UP.
(chuckles) YOU MAY NOT KNOW THIS,
BUT I AM A BALL OF SUNSHINE.
YOU DON'T NEED TO BE UPSET, MOM,
BECAUSE I SPOKE TO HECTOR, AND HE'S GOING TO MOVE OUT.
OH, WELL, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO TROUBLE YOURSELF.
I WAS ON THE VERGE OF TALKING TO HIM MYSELF.
I KNOW, BUT I WAS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
AND FIGURED I'D TAKE CARE OF IT MYSELF.
OH, WELL, HOW--HOW WAS HE?
HE FEELS THINGS SO DEEPLY.
HE WAS... TORN UP.
AND IT'S OBVIOUS HE STILL LOVES YOU.
BUT HE DID SAY THAT THERE IS NOTHING HE WANTS MORE
THAN FOR YOU TO BE HAPPY.
SEE, CLAIRE?
THAT'S LOVE.
CLAIRE'S SLOW, BUT...
SHE CATCHES ON.
SHE KNOWS WHAT LOVE IS.
I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE SURE OF IT THAN RIGHT THIS INSTANT.
(cell phone rings)
OH, EXCUSE ME.
(ring)
(beep)
(Liv) OH... (giggles) HELLO THERE.
OH! ARE YOU KIDDING?
OF COURSE. I'LL BE THERE IN 20 MINUTES.
(laughs)
OH, STOP. YOU CAN WAIT THAT LONG.
(beep)
OH, UM, DEREK WOULD LIKE TO MEET FOR A DRINK.
YOU DON'T MIND, DO YOU? I MET HIM AT WHOLE FOODS TODAY.
HE'S LIKE A YOUNG RAúL JULIá
WITH THESE DARK, LIQUID EYES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL
LIKE YOU STARED INTO THEM IN ANOTHER LIFETIME.
IT WAS AN INSTANT CONNECTION.
MAYBE I'LL BRING HIM BACK FOR DESSERT.
WHAT HAPPENED TO WANTING YOUR MOM TO KNOW THE TRUTH?
I THINK IT'S TIME I ACCEPT THE FACT
THAT THIS IS THE TRUTH TO HER.
I MEAN, THIS IS WHO SHE IS.
DO YOU WANT WINE WITH DINNER OR--
OH... (laughs)
YOU'RE NOT STAYING.
YOU'RE A TERRIBLE HOSTESS.
GOOD NIGHT, TREVOR.
(sets bottle on table)
BUT YOU'RE A GREAT DAUGHTER.
THANK YOU.
SO, TREVOR...
HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
YEAH, IT'S, YOU KNOW, MY KIND OF DAY.
YOU KNOW, I GET EXCITED ABOUT...
(speaking indistinctly)