Previously on Nurse Jackie...
Then where are we at?
The don't tell anyone at work part.
I'd like to break up with you.
Please, leave me alone.
- Can I ask a question? - Shoot.
Are you guys having sex?
Okay, so you were just studying and taking drugs
with a boy you lied about not seeing anymore?
Yeah, Mom.
I took something and I still did everything I was supposed to do.
You know what that's like, right?
Actually, I've got to go. Kevin is here and...
It's after midnight and Kevin's there?
I love you.
Yeah, I got to go.
I think the girls should live with you.
Grace is using drugs.
I don't think she should be with me.
We're not there yet.
I think we are.
Car's all packed.
One for the road?
Been cooking all morning.
Yeah.
So we're all going to your thing later today.
I'm not. I have Model UN.
I have invited some friends from work, just so you know.
Like Eddie?
Grace, enough with the attitude.
You're going to your mother's ceremony and that's it.
No, that's okay. Grace can do what she wants.
- It's her choice. - If it's my choice, then I'm not going.
Officer Verelli.
Your phone broken?
What are you doing here?
I don't know. I figure you get to visit me at work, I thought maybe...
Yeah, not a good time.
Look, you know this is an important day for me.
Can I not have this hanging over my head?
Yeah, God forbid.
You just turn it off, just like that?
I'm the one that said, "I love you," took a big step forward.
Now I've got to take a step back.
Why are you making this so difficult?
You're the one that's making it difficult, believe me.
It's a lot easier dating 23-year-olds.
- Fuck you. - That's good.
That's beautiful, honey.
Thank you so much for coming all the way down here to tell me that.
Look, I've got work to do.
What did you think of the gift I sent over?
Loved it.
You know what? We're done here.
Normal respiration. BP's okay.
Sir, why are you here?
I'm dying.
Do we have a history?
I'm a gay man in New York City
who managed to get old.
How's that for a history?
Intake says advanced liver cancer.
This guy doesn't need an ER. He needs a hospice.
You know that. We can't justify keeping him here to Akalitus.
Sir, do you have any nausea? Do you have a rash? Anything?
No.
But I've got pain.
How much on a scale of one to 10?
It only goes to 10?
Okay, let's get the patient comfortable.
Start IV hydration. I'll write a script for morphine.
You look very familiar to me, Wally.
So do you.
Oh, my God. Don't Tell Mama.
It's a piano bar in Hell's Kitchen.
You always sing Cole Porter.
And you're Bill in Show Boat.
You remember my song.
I remember your head
getting tangled in the overhead lights.
That was... Oh, God.
All right, I'll be right back with your morphine.
No morphine.
It'll really help the pain.
No painkillers. I'm...
I'm in recovery.
- Lidocaine. - Right away, Doctor.
- Scalpel. - Scalpel.
Butterflies?
A few.
Who wouldn't?
Wait. Okay.
You want to tell me what's going on?
Your butterfly flirtation.
- Not appreciated. - Okay, I got it.
Here's the thing, okay?
One sure way of letting everybody know what's going on between us
is to start acting all formal.
All right? Now, I'm just saying,
I don't want you acting like somebody else.
'Cause that would be a bad thing.
Fine.
Just be cool.
I'm walking away first.
Can you believe this?
No comment.
Really?
Bread in the shape of a horseshoe and you have no comment?
I understand after yesterday
if you want to take back your invitation to your one-year celebration.
No, I don't want that.
Then you need to apologize to me.
Zoey, I had just found out that my kid is using drugs.
You will excuse me if I was a little fucked up.
You still have to apologize.
One day you're gonna have a kid,
and if you're really lucky, you're gonna have someone like you
who gets really close to your kid.
I am sorry.
You have to be there this afternoon.
Don't cry, we're at work.
Just heard I've got a peer review today
with Prentiss and Akalitus.
And me.
Is that a good thing?
Since we're no longer together,
I have a much clearer perspective on your performance.
Okay. Is that a good thing?
Peer reviews can be life changing.
Every doctor here went through it as a resident.
- And? - Some got to stay.
Shit.
I so would not have worn this outfit
if I'd known I'd be standing in front of you guys today.
Grace's blood shows minimal trace amounts of Adderall.
Basic teenage starter kit stuff.
You must be so proud.
I'm just trying to lighten things up.
Yeah, comedy's about timing.
This timing's not so good.
Yeah.
About this afternoon.
If it's all the same to you, I'm not gonna make it.
All right. Do what you like.
Yeah, maybe a little less 'tude.
When a 14-year-old asks me if I'm screwing her mom,
I kind of need a minute.
Can any part of you be nice to any part of me today?
It's not my job to make things nice for you.
I give you work advice, relationship advice, do homework with your kid.
Exactly when did I become your girlfriend?
Hey, Frank. It's Jackie.
I guess you're taking a bite out of crime, huh?
Can you do me a favor and call me, please?
Thanks.
- How's Wally? - Only in pure agony.
You know what I'm gonna ask, right?
He's dying. Everybody in his life is gone.
Would you like me to take time off? I could do hospice at his apartment.
Absolutely not, but he can't be taking up space in the ER.
There's room in ICU.
And privacy.
Let's make him comfortable there.
Anyone ever tell you that you have a beautiful singing voice?
When it's last call at Don't Tell Mama,
everyone has a beautiful singing voice.
Now, you know we could make you more comfortable?
Twenty-two years sober.
That may not mean anything to you,
but I'm not giving in now.
No, I sort of get it.
But if you change your mind.
I won't.
So don't ask.
The Infant Jesus of Prague.
Know your saints, do you?
May even be meeting them soon.
I used to wear a St. Christopher
till they kicked him out of the Hall of Fame.
Things change.
I think of all the Big Macs I could have eaten on Friday instead of fish sticks.
You still go to mass?
No, not so much.
You leave the church.
It never leaves you.
Commonly, when reviewing first-year residents,
the first months bring both good and not so good experiences.
Thank you.
Before we vote if your residency
will continue at All Saints, we'd like to hear from one more voice.
Jackie?
I worry every time you get near a patient.
You worry? You know how I feel?
Scared.
All the time.
I'm totally freaked that the teeniest procedure I perform,
I'm gonna kill someone.
You did almost kill someone.
I know what to do.
I'm trained. lam.
But I need confidence.
And I'm trying to get better at it.
I'm learning.
I need a chance.
Would you mind?
I couldn't. We're in a meeting.
Off!
Can we just do this?
- All in favor? - Wait.
Who here first time touching a patient wasn't scared shitless?
Except you, Ike.
The worst you can say about Dr. Roman is that she almost killed a patient.
I did kill a patient and we never talk about it.
Look around. Dr. Prentiss, you did time for dealing.
Gloria, you recently had memory issues.
Jackie, you were a drug addict treating patients.
We all make mistakes.
- I vote she stays. - Opposed?
I'm sorry, Dr. Roman. We are dismissing you from All Saints.
Hi, sweetie. How are you feeling?
It's weird. I actually started feeling better.
Thor!
Against his wishes, you administered morphine to an addict?
And what, he's gonna be hooked the rest of his life?
Don't you be fucking smart.
Excuse me, Jackie. Not everybody is getting a cake today.
Some people need relief from suffering.
You don't get to make that choice.
Dr. Roman.
Big of you to come say goodbye.
I've had some time to think about the conditions that I've had to work under.
On reflection, I believe that I've been asked to perform in a
hostile work environment.
My immediate supervisor, Dr. Cooper,
groped my breast in a public area,
then had sex with me in my workplace.
And, as I understand,
you yourself hid a mental incapacity that prevented my adequate supervision.
- Who the hell are you? - Brandon Hall.
Stern, Goodman, and Kearns.
Are you her attorney?
Not yet.
Should he be?
Are you shitting me?
Please, I came here for privacy. A little decorum.
Jesus Christ...
So you're keeping her?
Our choice is to keep her or have our laundry hung out in court.
No, I'm clean, so I say we go to court.
Shit.
Blame Dr. Cooper. This is what happens when doctors have sexual relations at work.
Remember your car accident?
I do. I prescribed oxy for you, and you're a drug addict.
You didn't tell me.
I would never have filled it.
Take it. I wouldn't want your conscience keeping you up at night.
Jackie.
I just want you to like me.
Do better.
It's been feeling a little weird over here.
Later, at your meeting, more of this.
From me, Fiona, Grace.
Grace is not coming.
He's in a lot of pain.
Time to increase the morphine.
Did he say
I'm on morphine?
I'd like more, please.
Is there anything else we can do for you, Wally?
Yes. I'd like last rites.
Okay. I'll get the chaplain.
I'd prefer it
if you would do the honors.
Me? I'm not a priest.
The church
never leaves you, Jackie.
Get in. Now.
You don't drive.
I know.
This is going to make your mom so happy.
I know I sort of had to kidnap you,
but someday you'll look back and be proud of doing this for her.
Why are we always talking about her? It's always about her.
I want to go home.
Okay.
Hold on. I'll pull over,
so you can freak out
and have my full attention.
Okay.
No,don't.
Do we have to go to my mom's thing?
Not if you don't want to.
Thank you.
That's as high as we go.
You're gonna start to get all floaty.
Feel really good
and probably sleep.
May I say something?
We only just met, formally anyway,
but I want you to know what an example you are to me.
You are not just a survivor,
you have survived it all so elegantly.
The closet.
Stonewall. The plague.
Disco.
I am honored to be with you now.
Sing one for me
at Mama's.
"Lord, we call upon you to accept the soul of Wallace into your kingdom.
"Through this holy unction and the goodness of his mercy,
"may God pardon thee whatever sins thou hast committed by evil use of sight,
"of hearing,
"of touch,
"of speech,
"and of taste.
"I call upon thee as...
"As a servant of Jesus Christ to
"sanctify our actions in the fulfillment of the will of God."
- Amen. - Amen.
Amen.
It's been a year today.
But nothing changes.
Everything I did, all of it.
It never goes away, does it?
I'm gonna have to ask you to pull over, so I can pat you down.
You can save your "yokes.
And by the way, I'm not 23,
so you don't have to break up with me in person.
Jackie.
Jackie, come on.
I never should have said that.
Never should have said it, okay?
About the 23-year-olds.
Look, all I said was it's easier, okay?
It sure as hell ain't better,
it ain't what I want, and it ain't what I'm doing.
So this is you apologizing?
No, why does everything got to be a fucking mea culpa with you?
It's always like a goddamn opera.
Why can't we have a conversation like normal fucking people?
Normal? I'm a drug addict who just gave up custody of her two kids.
You gave up the girls?
Grace is using drugs.
Shit.
- Jack, I didn't know. - Yeah, answer your fucking phone.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're right.
I'm sorry.
So that was an apology?
You know I can be pissed at you and still love you, right?
It's quarter to 3:00
There's no one in the place Except you and me
So set 'em up, Joe
I got a little story you ought to know
We're drinking, my friend
To the end of a brief episode
Make it one for my baby
And one more for the road
I've never had to take off a man's bulletproof vest before.
That's the beauty of Velcro.
- All right, so. - Yeah?
What was with the bread?
You finally fucking opened it, huh?
Okay, was that the dumbest gift you've ever gotten?
That is a family tradition.
When something good happens to us,
we make horseshoe bread.
See, that way, our luck doesn't run out.
Who are you?
I'm a guy who's done some stuff right
and some stuff wrong.
Trust me, right's a lot better.
And you...
You are what's right, Jackie Peyton.
I love you.
Yeah?
Well...
How could you not?
Okay.
I'm gonna see you at your thing later, all right?
You know, I'm very proud of you.
Okay.
So thanks for the cheer
I hope you didn't mind me
Bending your ear
This torch that I've found
Has got to be drowned
For it soon will explode
Make it one for my baby
And one more for the road
The long
Long
Road
Happy anniversary to you
Happy anniversary, dear Jackie
Happy anniversary to you
Hi, my name is Jackie and I am...
I am an addict and...
Today I am sober for one year.