Previously on "The Real Housewives
of New York City"...
Are you nervous about this weekend?
No, I'm a little bit--
sleeping over is, like, a different thing
than having cocktails.
I've never been on a girls' trip.
I don't remember the last time I had a sleepover.
I mean, unless something else was going on.
Are you coming with us?
I don't know. I'm trying.
Tomorrow I'm gonna get a steroid injection
if I don't feel better.
When's the last time you had sex?
- Since I've had the kids. - Huh?
Can't you just have sex in the shower?
They haven't broken the seal yet.
We haven't broken the seal yet.
Well, go home and [BLEEP] your husband.
That one's for you, Jessel.
- Oh, oh! - That's very sexy.
Anyone that thinks that this is sexy is, like, crazy.
I feel like a Christmas tree.
I'm a----ing Christmas tree.
- You are gorgeous. - No, I hate--
I absolutely hate it.
[upbeat music]
The secret ingredient?
Darling, it's me.
My lashes may be fake,
but I definitely keep it real.
I'm a true New Yorker.
The only bull I'll take is by the horns.
I always bring the flavor.
It's not my fault you don't have any taste.
In New York, there's a lot of bad apples,
but I'm the baddest of the bunch.
I love to laugh, but make me mad,
and I'll date your dad.
[mellow music]
♪ Ba, ba, ba-da
♪ I wanna see the sun come up, up, up ♪
♪ We'll make it through
[light, playful music]
♪
I don't think I've ever been this cold,
and I live in England.
[groans] [BLEEP], I'm freezing.
Is Erin up?
Is anyone awake?
- Yes, I am. - Oh.
- Hi. - It is freezing.
I'm sorry. Oh, my God.
I don't know what to do.
This is, like, nice and warm down here.
You can sleep in here with me tonight.
No, I'm absolutely fine.
Was it comfortable at least?
Super comfortable. It's just literally
my nipples are like rocks.
It's so cold. - Oh, my God.
It's freezing.
If I had known I was gonna be
going to a cryogenic chamber,
I would've brought my NASA space suit.
Yeah, I was going to get this, and I just--
You have so much color right now.
- I know. - I love it.
- Early in the morning. - [laughs]
Wake up! [chuckles]
Just my luck, the heat is not working
in the guest rooms upstairs.
I knew that hosting these girls was gonna be, like, a thing,
but it's just really overwhelming.
Like, I wanna leave my own house.
Okay, we're gonna move into a hotel, Erin,
if it's not fixed, or I'm gonna go sleep with Jenna Lyons
in her house. - Wait a second.
- What? - Jenna leaving yesterday.
- Yeah, I know. - Whoo!
[overlapping chatter] - Where the [BLEEP] is Jenna?
- Oh, my God-- - Jenna!
- Why are you leaving?
- [BLEEP]. - You're not leaving.
I've got a 6:30 call.
I've gotta go sleep. You guys can play.
both: No!
Okay, okay, okay. You know what?
Wow.
I am really actually really upset.
- Me too. - Her house is by the ocean,
you guys. Your house is not.
[tense music]
- What does that mean? - Well, she probably wants
to wake up in her house and look at the views.
I don't know. - Are you saying, like,
my house is not good 'cause it's not on the ocean?
No. Did I leave last night?
No. - Hi.
Oh! - Oh, my God. Are you okay?
[both laugh]
Oh, my God. Are you still drunk?
I came in for the tea. Where's the--
- [laughs] - Are you okay?
Oh, my God, you came in like a wrecking ball right now.
Who has the tea for Sai?
I just want some tea. Where's the black tea?
It's her fault.
Like, obviously, her floors are too clean.
I think that's why Jenna left.
- Why? - She's like, "I do not
wanna be a liability for this."
I decided I'm giving Brynn Jenna's room.
- Yeah, why not? - Like, she doesn't deserve
a room. She didn't say bye.
- I wanna call her. - Fine. Call her.
Yeah, I think it was a little rude not to say bye.
It was rude.
I have no signal.
- Do you have Wi-Fi? - Yeah.
I literally cannot even connect
to any----ing thing here.
- Tough crowd. - You bitches complain
as soon as you wake up.
Your energy is so off.
I don't have time for everybody to be complaining.
- I have no-- - I like to wake up
to gratitude. - Oh, my God.
Jessel's too aloof to realize that her delivery
is a little bit abrasive sometimes.
Can we all just, like, chill for just five seconds
and be grateful that we are on a very free trip here?
It's free .99.
Oh, this coffee is good.
Oh, what a shock.
Something at your house is good.
So is she coming to work out or no?
Jenna? I have no idea.
I have not spoken to her.
She just snuck out in the middle of the night,
didn't let me make my shakshuka,
and now I have no idea. - [laughs]
I was gonna make shakshuka at like 8:30.
- The best. - What is that?
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Before we work out?
I don't wanna eat breakfast and then work out.
I will throw up.
Yeah, so I guess I'm not making you breakfast
before the workout.
Was so disgusted that I would make breakfast
before a workout.
She was disgusted with you.
She really was.
[bright percussive music]
♪
- Hello? - Hello.
[gasps] Jenna.
- I'm getting angrier. - Good morning.
Hi. both: Good morning.
How did you sleep?
Um. [sighs]
Not great. The storm was insane.
Did you guys sleep? - Oh, well...
- Slept like a rock. - There wasn't a storm here.
What time did you guys go to sleep?
Not late, like 12.
You killed the party. We went to sleep.
[both laugh]
- I killed it? - Yeah, when we caught you
sneaking out.
Why did you leave?
I had a 6:30 call this morning,
so I didn't wanna--
I didn't wanna disturb you guys.
It was also freezing cold in my room.
It was really cold.
I actually think it's so rude
because she gave you, like, the best room.
I mean, I'm sleeping in a children's room
with a crib. Like, I could've--
Let's back it up for one second.
Can we just have a moment of remembering?
Like, you guys were partying. I went up to my room.
The music is literally on top of my bed--
It was like 10:00.
- [laughs] - It wasn't late.
Jenna is acting like a geriatric.
It's not a senior citizen home.
Step out, Grandma. Step out.
I did not think you'd even notice.
I figured I'd come back early-- - We noticed.
Granny's sleepy, guys.
Lower the music. [laughs]
Also, she could've cooked this morning,
'cause you weren't here.
You didn't want her to cook shh--shh-shh--
shakshuka or whatever. - Wait a minute, hold on.
Yeah, and you didn't let me make shakshuka
'cause you said it was weird-- - At what point does like--
you guys, we're all adults. Like, you can do what you want.
If you wanted "shahshucka," you could have had "shahshucka."
Yeah, but you had--you had--
how do you say that word?
- "Shahshooka." - "Shasciutto"?
If you wanted it, you could have had--
do your thing.
Like, are you, like, shak-sh---ing me?
Like, who's gonna actually have shakshuka
before they work out?
Like, that would be shak-vomiting.
Like, no. - But here's the thing.
It's nice to wake up with the girls and be here.
Just because you have a house ten minutes
doesn't mean that, you know-- - It had nothing to do
with not wanting to wake up with you,
just I had a 6:30 call.
I needed to sleep.
I didn't wanna disturb your vibe.
And I was like, "I'm just gonna"--
My car was right there. My bedroom's right there.
The stairs-- - But that wasn't the deal.
[tense music]
That was not the deal. - What deal?
- We made a plan... - We all sleep together.
To come to my house and sleep at my house.
Was that you guys were gonna play music
so loud that I couldn't sleep, and I didn't care.
This is so stupid.
I'm gonna get ready to go work out.
I'm so over you guys. - Okay, I'm leaving too
because clearly you don't like my house at all.
- Oh, yeah, that's it. - So thanks for enjoying
my house so much.
I'm going to sleep at yours. - Oh, my God.
My glasses are gonna fog up from the cold.
[laughs]
Coming up...
Welcome to Brynn's Booty Camp,
you upper-middle-class bitches.
- Come on. What are you doing? - Watching Ubah jump
is like watching Kendall Jenner cut a cucumber.
[upbeat music]
♪
I have one hanger.
[knock at door] - Just pay him something
and then I can go back and deal with it later.
Hi. - Hi.
- I'm Jenna. - David.
- Hi. Nice to meet you, David. - Nice to meet you.
Yep, yep. - Just come on in. One second.
I'm just finishing up. Sorry. - Oh, thank you.
Say it again.
- David! - Hi, Erin.
- Oh. - Hi, cutie.
Oh, my God.
- Have you met Ubah? - David. Nice to meet you.
- Oh, we hug where I'm from. - Oh, okay. We do hug.
- Wow. - Good to see you.
- Very good to-- - So are you ready--
Isn't he cute?
- Am I? - Handsome. Very handsome.
I thought you just were on, like, a Polo commercial
or something. - Yeah.
Oh, I'll take that.
David is so hot.
He's gorgeous.
Gorgeous skin, beautiful smile, and he smelled great.
Oh, you're beautiful too.
But she doesn't work out. She never works out.
So you don't work out and you look like this?
She said it's about the food you eat.
80% is what you eat.
- And 20% is-- - 20% fitness, 100% mindset.
All right? That's the formula that I--
- That's African sh--. - Oh, you see?
We African. We brothers and sisters, huh?
So we're gonna get along, huh?
Oh. [laughs] - She's in love.
We have the connection already.
- Hi. - Hi. David. Nice to--
- Sai, so nice-- - Oh, we hug.
- Oh, okay. So nice-- - You don't shake.
both: Hi. - Hi, hi. How you doing?
I never wanted
to work out so hard in my life. [both laugh]
She's in love.
I was like, "Hmm,
"I don't remember the last time I work out,
but today, we're working out."
Wait, I should text Brynn to meet us out here.
- Oh, is she here? - She's coming, yeah.
You know-- - Oh, I knew her. Yeah, yeah.
I've seen her, yeah, a couple of times.
I love working out. I mean, that's a lie.
I hate working out.
I just like to not look terrible naked.
We're gonna do a partner workout.
I'm gonna put it right on your waistline.
You're gonna face that way.
[punchy percussive music]
♪
Happy we found it.
- Come on, come on. Let's-- - Whoo!
- All right. - I'm running away
from the hottest man in the world.
- Are you done? - I am.
The African queen.
He's like, "I can't work."
We're in an interesting part of the Hamptons.
South is kind of where it's at, but this is good too.
- Let's go! - You're walking.
You're not running. You're walking.
Come on! Let's go! Come on! - Beat 'em!
- I'm going! - Run faster!
- Whoo! - Come on. You see?
You're gonna fall. - Erin!
You got ten--oh, Erin!
Hello? [gasps]
Knock, knock. I arrive. No one's there to greet me.
I was expecting everyone to be standing outside,
the staff, like in "Downton Abbey."
Nobody's there, and I have to lug my bags.
I have to lug it all inside myself.
Okay.
Where are these bitches?
- I can't stop laughing. - Aah!
Three, two, one. Good.
[laughs]
Honey, I'm home.
What's up? both: Oh!
The party's here!
Brynn showed up in the Hamptons like a pimp.
Oh, my God. Hi.
From head to toe, fur jacket.
That's not the Hampton look.
That's Mississippi, like, down in the river.
- Hi, baby. How are you? - Hi, how you doing?
I've been sore for two years because of you.
Are you ready to work out?
- I've been sick. - You've gotta do it. Okay.
I mean, I want you
to give me a hard time, but not in that way.
Can you guys vouch for her, what she's saying?
- See? - I told you.
You're gonna have competition-- - Yeah, I am.
But we can just stay like this, though...
- No, no, no, no. - If you want.
Brynn, I think, was birthed flirting.
I'm sure the doctor, like, literally wanted to date her.
I mean, the girl can, like, turn on a paper bag.
- You look good. - You've been working out.
I need to take lessons, truthfully.
Oh, you be the trainer.
You wanna be the trainer? - Yeah.
- Oh, oh! - Train us.
[laughs] Okay, all right.
Let's work out. Let's do this sh--.
I'm freezing.
Brynn, step aside.
You have a strep throat. Don't give my man strep throat.
[laughs]
Welcome to Brynn's Booty Camp, bitches,
you upper-middle-class bitches.
Gimme more, Jenna. - [scoffs]
Give me more, Jenna!
Come on. Let's go.
We gotta improvise, right?
[laughs] Ubah.
This isn't the Rockettes, sweetie.
[both laugh] This is not the--
She's crazy.
Come on. Jump.
No, you gotta jump. Come on.
Watching Ubah jump is like
watching Kendall Jenner cut a cucumber.
This is pitiful.
Ubah is the most uncoordinated swan.
Come on.
Oh, that's good. Do you wanna do planks?
- Nah, I wanna do you. - Oh.
Just joking. I'm jok-- I'm joking, everybody.
That's how it should be in life.
You can't look that good
and then look good working out too.
That would just be unfair.
All right, ladies. That was fun.
- Thank you. - Put your hand.
- Okay, I will. Okay. - David's so hot.
You're gonna hang out with me in New York.
I will work out with David anytime he wants.
♪
[laughs] - We have 45 minutes,
and we'll have lunch inside.
Okay, I'm gonna go take a shower.
- Me too. - When you have a second,
I just--I do wanna talk about rooms.
- Ginger tea? - Oh, thank you.
If we don't have an-- her own room,
I can give her my room.
You just wanna go home, though.
- Okay, here's the thing. - You do.
I think it's unfair-- I honestly had
no intention of leaving last night.
I swear to God. I was in bed,
literally in bed, eyes closed, face washed--
But next time, be like, "Guys, turn it down."
I didn't want you to leave. - I--
I feel a little out of my element,
and I'm not that great being on someone else's terms
and someone else's schedule. It's your house.
Yeah, but I don't mind.
I want everyone to be comfortable.
I get it. I'm sorry if you're offended.
I literally did not wanna... - Thank you.
Bother you. It was not intentional.
I love you.
I just want you to be with us. - I know.
I'm here. I'm here. - You can't leave us.
I'm here.
Jenna has been opening up,
but we all just have to accept that she's a different person.
She doesn't know how to just, like, be free
and open and talk about life.
We need to give her time and clearly the space
to let us in.
- Thanks for the tea. - You welcome.
All right. both: Bye.
- See ya. - Ooh, he's gonna get more
than the tea later.
I'm gonna go shower.
So you know what happened last night?
- No, what's the sitch? - Jenna left.
She went home without saying bye.
You just don't leave. That's not polite.
Right, well, I got my ass chewed out
for choosing a place over people,
and I was told that I'm not being a good friend.
What's your probably with [BLEEP]?
It's not 2012.
"It's not 2012"?
Who the [BLEEP] cares where we go?
We were trying to all be together.
It doesn't matter where we are.
I'm actually mad.
So if that is the law of the land,
it's gotta apply to everybody.
This is kind of actually more of a bigger deal
'cause this is your house.
It's not some, like, restaurant in New York.
Me not going to one restaurant reservation
and then Jenna left someone's house
in the middle of the night to go back to her own house,
and it's just like all is forgiven the next day.
It's 1000%, like, double standard,
quadruple standard times ten.
So this is-- this is a big deal.
The punishment has to be bigger.
Coming up...
- You're not pleasable. - You're not pleasable.
I love that you think I was complaining.
My style. You came down, "I hate it.
I look like a Christmas tree!"
- [laughs] - Oh, my God, you guys.
[bright music]
[knock at door]
Are you ready?
- No, I'm not. - Oh, okay.
Come on, guys. Let's roll.
A bitch is starvin'.
Wow. I'm obsessed. Wait. I'm sorry.
Oh, my God, wait. Did you guys coordinate?
- No. - I'm used to being
pretty low-key in the Hamptons,
but everyone is dressed to the nines,
heels, and white, and khaki,
which they did not manage to manifest for my house.
Stand there, 'cause I'm dying.
Ubah, do you wanna get in? - Oh, my God, yes.
There we go. Okay, ladies.
Thank you.
- Thank you. - [laughs]
Oh, we did not even plan this.
- Did you know? - What is this?
I swear--
We look like we're going to, like, a--
are we part of a girl group?
I mean, clearly we are.
Oh, my God. Should I change?
Where do these girls think they're going?
They are way too dressed up for lunch in Sag.
We have to give fashions, baby.
- I mean, I see. - I don't try to be glam.
It just happens.
Slay all day, even on my off day.
I have two uniform.
I'm either, like, a supermodel queen
or not glam.
But in the Hamptons, you bring it.
All right, Sai, Ubah, you're coming with me.
Come. - Okay, let's go.
I am starving. - See you guys there.
- Bye. - Nice nipples.
Thanks, babe.
Come on, you hungry hippos.
Brisk.
[laughs]
♪
All right, we're goin' to Page.
- Hi. - How are you?
Good. We're so excited to be here.
- How are you? I love your-- - Thank you.
- How are you? - It's cute.
So cute. - I'm hungry.
I'm starving
because we didn't have breakfast.
- Oh, don't. - [laughs]
- You cannot. - I'm kidding.
Do not start with me.
Ladies, can I offer you something to drink?
They're not ladies.
Aww, to me they are.
I would like hot water with lemon, please.
Hot water and lemon for you.
Can I have a virgin Bloody Mary?
Can I have a Bloody with tequila, with Casamigos?
- I'll do the same. - Can I get
a glass of the Chablis?
- Just some water. - Okay.
Erin hasn't fed us all weekend.
She didn't even make the "shushooka,"
"shashooka," "shika-shika-shooka,"
whatever the dish that it was
that she was supposed to be making us.
I'm so happy to be at this restaurant right now
because I was about to eat my hand off.
- Cheers, guys. - Cheers.
- I'm so happy you're all here. - Cheers.
- Thank you, Erin. - Erin, thank you so much.
No problem. I love having you guys.
So were you flirting with [indistinct]?
- Him? The guy? - Yeah.
The trainer.
He's from Africa. He looks like that.
He's, like, everything I like. - [laughs]
- He's cute. - Great. Is he single?
I think he is, yeah.
Uh, dating hack:
so keep a album of nudes,
like, your best nudes,
and then when you go to a party, like,
and you see, like, someone hot, just go stand with him
and, like, mindlessly scroll through the nudes
and zoom in.
Within two minutes, they're like, "How are you?"
I think this is a bad idea,
because any guy who is looking at your phone
and you have nude picture, wanna talk to you,
he's a pervert, right there.
I mean, maybe that's why there's three engagement.
Brynn, did you get them that way?
You know how they say,
"You lose them how you find them"?
- What's your method? - What's your go-to--
What's your go-to?
I smile. I ask for direction.
If you're at the airport, I just ask them,
"Where is Gate D? Like, where?"
- Where's the D? - Where's the D? [laughs]
I ask him, "Where's the D?"
There's a really different way of dating men
than there is women,
and it's a totally different set of rules.
Women know women's tricks,
and you don't need to hide.
You can just be open and forward and honest.
"I'm looking for Gates B, D, or E.
Are you--could you point me in the right direction?"
[laughs]
There's, like, more of a game, I think,
that exists with men and women,
and so I feel a sense of relief
that, like, I don't have to deal with any of this.
- I'm gonna go pee. - I'm gonna go too then.
Does, like, does half the table always have to leave?
Like, everyone? - Bye.
Yeah. - I mean, clearly.
Um, I'm gonna let it go and yet not.
How is it just best friends?
It's less than 24 hours. - Who?
Since Jenna flew off.
But I'm just, like-- I'm seeing--
literally I'm seeing a double standard.
If I had pulled that sh-- last night...
- Oh. - My ass would be
on the----ing street. - On the street.
You'd be pitching a tent. You'd be, like, camping.
You'll be camping in the woods. - Yes.
No, I get it.
We're talking about Jenna going home.
- Oh. - Have a nice day, ladies.
It was rude.
I'm held to this unrealistic, absurd standard,
crucified, burned at the stake,
but Jenna over here just ups and leaves
in the middle of the night, and now 2.3 seconds later,
they're having a little kiki in the bathroom.
I'm out of gas
because we didn't eat after we worked out.
- Is that my fault? - If we had shakshuka.
- It's kind of your fault. - Blame the shakshuka on me.
No, nothing is your fault, Jenna.
Nothing can be Jenna's fault. It's probably my fault.
Jenna has a blank check.
Brynn has... - Great.
- None. - "None." [laughs]
Your bank account's empty?
[laughs] No.
But in the bank of Erin, it is. - Oh.
No, I have no issue with you.
What? I don't understand.
I'm actually hesitant to, like, bring it up
because I don't wanna rock the boat.
But I have to say, it does feel, like, a little bit/a lot
of a double standard.
You're more offended by someone not going
to one dinner reservation... - It's not about that.
Than you were at someone leaving your house
after you made them monogrammed pajamas?
Well, maybe I like her a little bit more.
But I have to say, it does feel like a little bit/a lot
of a double standard.
You're more offended by someone not going
to one dinner reservation--
Well, maybe I like her a little bit more.
I don't know. What do you want me to do?
It's just 'cause I'm cute.
Or because you're Jenna Lyons.
I don't have as much to offer as Jenna.
- That's definitely not true. - I don't care about
that at all. - That is definitely not true.
Maybe that's how you think. That's not how I think.
I was annoyed with her, and I didn't think it was nice
that she left and didn't say goodbye, and I--
we said it, she apologized, and we moved on.
What else could I have done? Like, you want me
to throw something at her?
Brynn still thinks that [BLEEP]
was not adequate enough for her to be seen at.
So I don't know. You tell me
who's more concerned with image.
I just think the principle's not consistent.
It's not about where you are.
It's about wanting to spend time, whether it be--
Right, but she was-- she was in bed.
We were blasting music. - I didn't expect that you
would see a little bit of-- - I don't see at all.
I know, and you're defending her.
I know, I know. That's what I'm saying.
Within a couple hours, she came up to me
and said, "I'm sorry I left. This is why."
And you didn't speak to me for weeks.
You're talking about, like, the equivalent of, like,
I stepped on your dog's paw versus shooting your dog.
- What? - That doesn't even make sense.
Why are you talking about dead dogs?
I can't follow it.
I'm watching a French movie right now.
[both laugh]
Erin thinks that me not wanting to go to a restaurant
in New York City is way worse...
- I can't. - Than when after
you open up someone's house.
It'll be easier for me to figure out quantum physics
than to understand what kind of point Brynn is making.
Maybe I don't understand because I'm starving.
My mind is just gone.
I did not wanna leave.
Honestly, I drove home in the dark, by myself,
and I was like, "Wah." - But then it, like,
makes me feel bad that we're being so loud--
Are you kidding me? No. It's like,
this was supposed to be a fun weekend,
like a girls' weekend, and I had to work.
You cannot please everyone, and the minute you try--
Definitely not you.
Oh, my God. [laughs] Here we go.
- You're not pleasable. - You're not pleasable.
I love that you think I was complaining.
We're not thinking. You were complaining.
Those two things: the heat and the Wi-Fi.
That was it. - What are you talking about?
You couldn't stand the gift that she gave you.
- Oh, my God. - What's the gift?
Jenna kindly gave everyone gifts.
It was lingerie.
Mine was green with black lace.
It's not my style. That was it. - Okay.
But you didn't say, "Oh, it's not my style."
You came down, "I hate it.
I look like a Christmas tree."
- [laughs] - Oh, my God, you guys.
I'm a [bleep] Christmas tree.
I would never wear this.
I absolutely hate this.
I was being funny about it.
Well, it wasn't nice.
I honestly think Jessel is crying for help.
Jessel just had a baby,
and she went through a lot of IVF,
and I think she still just have the trauma of it all.
That's just how I felt, and I voiced it.
Maybe I shouldn't have.
Maybe I should just zip, you know?
I brought pajamas from my very good friend.
If anybody ripped on it, I would be--
- I would be offended. - I would be livid.
- I would be so offended. - I would be pissed.
I mean, I actually think you're being nice.
It didn't feel great.
I would expect Jenna Lyons
to come to me directly and tell me how she's feeling.
Instead, I have Sai and Erin ambushing me.
You would think that I, like, kidnapped the pope
and was holding him hostage.
I felt a certain way about lingerie.
Listen, Jenna, I thank you for your thought.
I would very happily exchange it
for something that's more my style.
That's all. - [laughs]
How you doubled down on it.
Put on your big, old Christmas tree green lingerie,
and just say you're sorry, Jessel, which, by the way,
for a girl who hasn't had sex in two years,
she has a lot of opinions on lingerie.
If you had brought something
that a friend of yours had made...
- No. - To everyone, and the people
that tried it on were taking it down...
- No, I-- - How would you have felt?
Listen, I--now that you're pointing it out,
I see that I was insensitive to your g--
I see it now.
I do. You're not wrong.
You're not wrong. You're not wrong.
You obviously didn't mean it. You're not that kind of person.
No. Oh, hell no.
I was making fun of my--
I literally looked like a Christmas tree.
I mean, it was like I was green.
There's something that is not connecting for Jessel.
She can acknowledge like, "Oh,
Maybe that wasn't the nicest thing to do,"
but then turn around and actually do it again.
Like, babe, just say you're sorry and move on.
- What are we doing after this? - We'll go back,
we'll hang out, and then the chef's coming.
Is the chef gonna be as hot as the trainer?
- Maybe. - 'Cause I don't think
I can handle it.
When we go back to the house, Erin,
where am I going to sleepies? - You can sleep in my--
in the room that I've been sleeping in.
I will-- - Take your ass home?
Take my ass home.
Jessel, why don't you sleep with Erin
'cause it's freezing upstairs?
Honestly, I think one of the rudest things--
what I would never do-- do not touch
another homegirl's thermostat.
- That's right. - Don't do it, dude.
You know what? That's a really--
Don't do it. Don't do that sh--.
I would never walk in your house
and turn your sh--.
That is messed up. - I agree.
Take my Amex and then, like, buy something?
You want my sosh? - [laughs]
Do not touch my thermostat.
- I agree. - I'm lost.
I'm watching another French movie.
What's happening? - [laughs]
What are you guys talking about?
[laughs]
- Are we ready to bounce? - Let's go.
- Okay. - Wait, Ubah.
Can you take my photo real quick?
- Yes. - Influencers in the wild.
Sorry. Influencers in the wild.
Can you do-- actually do a slo-mo
after I walk towards you? - They're "creating."
[lively music]
♪
What are you gonna wear?
I have a green and a black dress.
I brought one dress, and it's blue.
Hang on. Let me show you.
- Let's see it, girl. - This one.
This-- - Oh, wow.
You know what, I can eat a lot in it.
Ugh, I'm jealous. I can't in mine.
I don't know what I'm wearing tonight.
I think I came with a suitcase and two bags,
and they're all full of jeans and sweaters.
No way you are wearing jeans.
Jenna's so cute, but she's so boring.
Jenna has the largest closet out of everyone,
but the whole closet is button-downs.
Ubah, do you have something for Jenna to wear?
I have the perfect dress for you.
I can't imagine anything that would look good on you
would work on me. - I--no, no, no, no.
Let me just-- - Go.
- Should I come? - Come here, please.
Please come to my room. - Oh, God.
Please come to my room. I am so happy.
Let me dress you. Let me dress you.
[moans]
I would love for Jenna to be more seductive.
Let's just have one night where you are beautiful,
you are confident, and you walk into the room,
and you make people's heads turn.
Jenna, you're not gonna believe.
Jenna can do that
if she lets the damn guard down.
Jenna, let's see.
- I can't look. - No, no, no.
I promise you.
Why don't you just try?
I think you should totally try it on.
Please let me help you with your socks.
- [laughs] - Okay. Let's take those off.
- Take the socks off. - Yeah.
Don't come out with the socks.
No, no. Okay, try, try. Oh, my God.
She's gonna look so cute.
Jenna is a boss.
Jenna, you are a legend.
Coming up...
Two truths and a lie.
I've had a Popsicle stuck up my--
[gasps] Your vagina?
That's some crazy sh--.
[ambient percussive music]
♪
I feel like I'm in, like, a chic magazine.
Should I light a fire? Not yet, right?
It's too hot. It's, like, hot.
But it's ambiance.
- Oh, she did it tonight. - Oh, my God.
Ladies and gentlemen, Jenna----ing Lyons.
- Is that Ubah's? - [laughs] Yes.
Immediately, I'm like,
"I need to flirt with that person."
She's lookin' damn fine.
- Beautiful. - Why don't you do this more?
- Yeah, this should be your-- - You look incredible.
Thank you. You look gorg.
Everyone says, "You should dress like that more often."
And that is the old me.
When I was a woman trying to attract a man,
I did everything through their lens.
I like the side boob. Thank you so--
There's always a little side. You gotta give 'em something.
Yes, please. It's fun for a night,
but tomorrow I'll be in jeans and a gray sweatshirt.
- You guys scrub up well. - Hi, babe.
You look nice. - Oh, my God, I love you.
Everybody's doing the red lip.
What? - Who is this bitch?
Who is this bitch and why is she here?
Why is she here?
[trills] Ay, ay!
Oh, my God, is that the-- what you had yesterday?
- Yes, it is. - Aww, I love that.
I mean, Sai is, like, a firebomb.
That girl is so hot.
I mean, she looks incredible in the lingerie,
and I love that she put it on.
Not only does she accept the gift,
she celebrates the gift.
Ladies, if you wanted to start,
we can start. all: Yes!
- Let's do it. - It's time.
- Can we light the candles? - Yeah.
I should not eat lunch.
This dress is a little too--
This looks so pretty.
You guys can all sit anywhere you want.
- Cheers. - Cheers.
Erin.
Ay. [speaking Spanish]
- [trills] - Cheers.
Cheers.
Erin, thank you for being the best host.
The host with the most.
Truly, from everything.
It's a lot to take us.
So we're gonna start with the salmon
and whitefish ceviche.
This is delicious.
Tuna with sesame miso.
Delicious.
Okay.
This is fugu sushi with celery salsa.
You wanna just put it right in there?
[laughs] - I won't even eat eggs--
No, there's other people here.
Yellowtail and chili garlic hand roll.
- This is so good. - I know. It's amazing.
- [mumbles] - [laughs]
People are pleased with the food for once.
Praise be.
Okay, two truths and a lie.
- Ooh! [vocalizing] - Sure.
Ay.
I had sex at a Knicks game, I had sex--
Oh, my God, who hasn't dated a Knicks player?
[spits]
[laughs]
I had sex in a car.
I had sex in a senator's office.
I think you-- the lie is Knicks game.
I say senator.
- I say Knicks game. - Senator.
I say the senator. Senator's a lie.
[drumroll]
Knicks game.
[all cheer]
Was it with a senator?
Not telling the story. Next.
Did I ever tell you that I had sex in a senator's office?
Yeah, you're on--the kids are in the car, so just FYI.
Abe.
- I have given... - Oh, here we go.
Multiple hand jobs at the same time.
Oh!
[laughs] I just--
but knowing Sai, she also has, like, a third hand,
like, on her, like, phone, you know, like--
she's like, "Swipe up to buy." [laughs]
- I have done threesomes. - Oh, my God.
- Okay. - Mm-hmm.
- I know that one's-- - I love to be choked out.
The lie is, uh, choked out.
My lie is to give multiple hand jobs at the same time.
Do you go all the way with the choked out,
or do you stop right before you pass out?
I feel like you like a light choking.
It's a light choke.
That's some crazy sh--.
Okay, I have reverse cowgirled
a professional athlete.
- Okay. - [buzzes lips]
I mean, yes, obviously.
I've reverse cowgirled a Saudi prince.
I see a recurring theme here.
She doesn't like to look at who she's screwing apparently,
um, but she wants to show everyone her ass,
which is very on-brand for Brynn.
I've reverse cowgirled a U.S. governor.
It's very easy. It's the governor.
- I say the governor. - [British accent] A governor.
- Was it governor? - Yeah.
Yeah. [all cheer]
Brynn loves to giddyap, doesn't she?
She is a big-time pony rider.
Giddyap, giddyap, giddyap, giddyap, giddyap.
I've had sex in a movie theater.
I once fell asleep during sex.
Jenna, I actually can believe that.
I once had a boyfriend who fell asleep on me
while we were having sex.
I think you fell asleep.
I have never fallen asleep on someone.
- Interesting. - So someone did it to me.
- God. - Ew.
[fake snores]
[laughs]
That might turn me into a lesbian.
I noticed he wasn't moving-- [laughing]
He was asleep.
Ugh, God, it was so embarrassing.
I had sex in a Virgin Airline.
I had sex in Central Park.
I had sex in a Zara store.
Ooh.
I don't think you had sex at Zara.
I wouldn't put it past her.
Yeah.
- That was it? - Yeah.
You had sex in Central Park?
Was it at night? They close at 2:00.
I live next to it.
Where in Central Park?
We're not gonna get into detail.
Oh, goodness.
Jessel, you're up.
I have made out with a well-known rapper.
I've had a Popsicle stuck up my--
[gasps] Your vagina?
Um, and I have had sex
in the elevator at Soho House.
You did not have sex in the elevator at Soho House.
It's a very short trip.
There are cameras in elevators.
I'm gonna go with no on that one.
The elevator.
I think the Popsicle is not--
is the lie. - I want the Popsicle
to be true so bad, but it's not.
Please let the Popsicle be true.
- It's not true. - If the Popsicle is true,
I'll take my clothes off,
and I'll do a hot lap around the whole house.
Oh! Did you hear that?
What's the answer?
It's the Soho House is a lie.
Whoo! [all cheer]
So the Popsicle is true!
Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
How did a Popsicle get stuck in your vagina?
It didn't get stuck.
[playful music]
Jessel... [whistles]
I just wanna know more.
I also wanna know less.
Ugh.
I was so stupid when I was younger.
There are some time Jessel say some things,
you're like, "Wait a second, this just came from Jessel?"
Out of all the things to do,
like, kind of not good for you,
and also, like, does that feel good?
I'm very disturbed, but yet intrigued.
I'm more impressed that she might be a freak.
That's what I'm into.
Jessel, please teach me your ways.
I am your humble servant.
Do you guys have Popsicles?
"Doctor are urging woman not to put Popsicle up--"
[laughter]
This is a while back, you guys.
I am not making this sh-- up.
"Cool down during summer."
I didn't realize this was, like, a thing that people did.
This is taken out of context, by the way.
I wasn't hot. This wasn't a solution to cool me down.
[overlapping chatter]
Oh, my God, did you see her nipple?
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
Was that, like, a kinky thing?
A little bit.
- With ice? - With ice.
[indistinct chanting]
Oh, my God!
[overlapping chatter]
- That's kind of hot. - Yeah.
- Was that with Pavit? - Uh, negative.
To Jessel...
- Whoo! - And the Popsicle.
- To Jessel. - Jessel and the Popsicle.
[overlapping chatter]
Jessel, we like to see the freaky you.
Coming up...
When you grow up poor, you don't like the dollar store.
- No, they're fun. - No, they're not.
- Why? - Because your whole house
is from the dollar store.
Where'd everybody go? This place really cleared out.
Let's go.
All right, I'm gonna go turn on the firepit.
You gotta get your titties out of my shot.
Why are you posting your nighttime ritual?
No.
[playful music]
Abe. - Hi.
I'm trying to do an outdoor fire, but it's not working.
You gotta hold the button in.
I am.
You have to hold the knob in.
I am.
Is the propane tank on?
Erin?
I need help. I really need help.
I don't [BLEEP] with that.
Wait, did you turn it on yet?
Yeah, it's on. It's open.
Yo, gonna blow up in your face.
Do we have a lighter?
No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.
- I'm doing-- - Is there a lighter?
- I--it-- - Give me a lighter.
Old-school style. - Your face is your thing.
Your face is your thing. - When my stove
used to go out--
You're playing with petrol.
Someone needs to go to the barbecue
and get the other propane tank.
- Okay, where's the barbecue? - Listen, I'm playing music
right now. - I know you're playing music.
Erin, where's the barbecue? Where's it?
I have Sai trying to throw a match
into a gas fireplace.
I grew up poor. That's what we did.
We threw it in the oven, the oven comes on.
Oh, was that Abe the babe?
He's not helping at all.
Abe the babe, we're here. Abe the babe.
- Talk to Abe. - How's my boy?
Were you getting turned up? Abe the babe.
Brynn was useless 'cause she was flirting
with Abe on the phone.
Are you DJ-ing?
Abe the babe.
He's my favorite. - Abe, Abe, I'm the person
who knows what the [BLEEP] they're doing here.
Why are you killing the vibe?
All I'm trying to do is turn this goddamn thing on.
We got the stash. We got the stash.
The stash is secured.
How many capable, competent New York women
does it take to light an electric fire?
Oh, my God.
It might be wet. Did it rain?
There we go. - So we're cool?
- We got it. - Bye, Abe!
Bye, Abe.
Yay!
Oh, we're so----ing stupid.
Jenna Lyons is just chilling out.
Thanks, Jenna...
- Jenna, you're not doing sh--. - For helping us, Jenna.
I'm sorry. I had no idea.
Oh, my God, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, okay.
I almost got my face blown off, okay?
There is a lot of hair,
fake hair, real hair, all of us,
so I think I'm smart
for not helping them light the fireplace.
Brynn, can you bring the drinks?
- Yes. - We're gonna
bring the blankets.
This is what happens.
You just--the propane tank and the drinks.
It's very DIY.
That is not warm.
Wait, we need sake. We need--
Brynn's getting it.
Where's the wine?
Siri, open the door.
Oh, sh--.
I----ing hate the Hamptons.
Um, Alexa...
[BLEEP]. How do you open this sh--?
God, white people are so weird.
How you doing?
Great. Why, are you worried?
- Yeah, a little. - Oh, really?
I just want you--I just want to make sure you're okay.
It's so nice. That was, like,
literally the most spectacular meal.
- Yes. - What's this?
Sake?
Why are you-- - Take a sip, baby.
- Is this the cup? - Out of the straw...
that your children have gnawed on.
I need sparkling water...
- Uh-huh. - With lemon.
Siri, open the fridge.
I don't think it works like that.
How--what is--I thought--
Jesus Christ.
Aren't they cute?
- I think it's perfect. - They were one dollar.
- I love the dollar store. - Oh, okay.
No, I--like, I really like the dollar store.
- Let's go together. Me too. - Like, I'm really
into the dollar store. - This is where I get these.
Do you like a dollar store?
I don't know why I like a dollar store so much.
It's so much fun.
I don't think you bitches grew up poor.
That's why.
When you grow up poor, you don't like a dollar store.
- No, they're fun. - No, they're not.
You know what my dad used to get from the dollar store?
He used to get this Christmas tree.
It was the one that was already decorated.
And then he took the Christmas tree
that was literally maybe about this big,
and then he put it on top of a speaker.
Remember the old speakers? [laughter]
This is getting funnier and funnier.
- And then he'd lean the - ing gifts on the speaker.
And then in the morning he would go,
"Santa was here! Merry Christmas!"
Do you have documentation of this?
- And I would be like... - That's cute.
"Oh, my God--" no, it's not cute when you're a kid.
When everybody has a Christmas tree,
and my Christmas tree's from the dollar store.
But you know what? It makes me look back
and really appreciate those moments of just having family.
You grew up in Brooklyn?
- I was originally born in LA. - Okay.
I moved to New York when I was two.
My dad lived in Florida at the time.
- Okay. - I spent a couple of years
in Florida.
I also lived in different places every seven months
until high school, when I stayed put.
Did you get any choice in where you were?
- I was too young. - How was that for you?
I was always the new girl.
I always changed schools all the time.
And I got bullied a lot,
but looking back on it, I'm like a chameleon.
I can adapt to any situation at any time.
After that I, like, moved out when I was 16.
You moved out when you were 16?
- Yeah. - Where'd you move to?
I moved to Brooklyn
in an apartment with my roommate from high school.
How did you afford it?
The rent was super cheap. I worked at Sears.
That's actually really amazing and impressive.
I made it work,
and, like, I've been on my own since I was, like, 16.
Where were your parents? Or did you just, like--
My parents didn't take care of me.
Like, my mother was around,
but she couldn't afford to take care of me.
My mom didn't have a very big place.
She was renting a bedroom out of an apartment,
so there really was no place for me to live.
So I had to find a place to live.
And what happened after high school?
Oh, I went to college. I went
to Long Island University, downtown Brooklyn.
How did you afford it?
I didn't. I had to drop out.
I was so broke in college. I snuck into college
because I couldn't afford tuition
and they wouldn't give me any more loans.
I had to drop out my junior year.
So I pretended that I was supposed to be there
for summer school, and I stayed with a friend in her dorm,
'cause I didn't have any place to live.
Every day I would go in there, and I would just be like,
"Yeah, yeah, oh, I forgot my ID upstairs" or something.
And I think after a while,
everyone was just probably like, "Look,
this bitch is homeless. Let's just let her live here."
Where do you think you get your strength, though?
I think I remember growing up very broke,
but always just daydreaming.
I think I used to just daydream--
Manifestation, babe.
And that I think was a form of manifestation.
I didn't know how I was gonna get it,
I just knew that I was not gonna settle for mediocrity.
When I was little, every week when the weekly
circular would come, I'd go through the thing,
and I would look and I would imagine, like,
if we just had, like, $899 or four easy payments,
we could have that living room.
[laughing] Four easy payments.
Of course we could never afford that, but each week
I would go through and look and pick, "Okay, if we could."
And then not only would I pick the one,
but then I'd probably spend hours just visualizing
where it would all go and how it would look
and how proud I'd be of my house.
And then my grandma and I would play a little game
where we would be like, "Okay, if we could get it this week,
what would we do to, like, redecorate the house?"
Sai's often judged, myself included,
for having this really tough exterior,
and now I understand why she had to be, like, that way.
My heart goes out to her, and at the same time,
kind of, like, holds hands and relates to her
because I know that feeling.
It makes you a little bit more appreciative.
For sure.
So wait, are you staying tonight?
[light dramatic music]
♪
Yes. I'm staying.
- Yeah, 'cause I'm here... - If it's okay.
- So Jen is staying. - I just felt badly that--
Uh, I actually feel some type of way.
- You do? - Yes.
[laughter]
No, she wants me to leave.
She didn't say what the way was.
Go to your ocean-view house.
I don't have an ocean view.
I have a tiny little house.
- I'm happy you're staying. - Thank you, babe.
I'll wake you up tomorrow morning.
- You'll wake me up-- - All right, come on, guys.
Everybody grab a plate. - Okay.
Let's go. Let's go.
Next time
on "The Real Housewives of New York City"...
All right, I'm going to make coffee before I do anything.
I need it desperately.
All right. I need a Plan B.
[laughs]
Your tone of voice sometimes is not the most--
So you're calling me a bitch?
You've done an amazing job
of being a very, very strong woman.
I just feel alone.
Ubah, you have so many friends here.
I know, but I, um...
I know.
I don't know.
Jessel called Sai and I "cackling hags."
How'd you say? "Cack-cackle?"
How--what? [indistinct speech]
What it means?
"Cackling" is a word for laughing,
but it's, like, kind of derogatory.
Like... [cackles] Like a witch.
Aww, Brynn.
It's a Brynns-giving.
I don't want to do it.
- Let it out, girl. - No, I don't want to do it.
- We're here. - It wasn't a good situation.
[dramatic music]
Just, like, super, super----ed up.
♪