[ Laughter ]
-Yeah. -[ Laughing ]
-Hey! -Jenna!
-Okay, so you're probably thinking,
"Is this a Lancome commercial or what?"
-Let's play tennis!
-But I actually have a way normal life for a New York girl.
[ Wind whooshing ] -[ Yells ]
-Are you looking at her wrist? This girl has money, okay?
-She always wears diamonds to breakfast.
-The only problem is
my friend group a total Monet.
[ Laughter ]
-From afar we're fabulous.
-Cheers!
-But up close... -Ah!
And you're throwing up in my sink!
-...it's a total mad.
-Her condescending tone is very frustrating.
[Bleep] you. You are a snake.
Nobody sees you coming.
-I want to get the [bleep] out of here.
I'm not happy with this [bleep].
-It's worse than the Pismo Beach disaster.
[ Dramatic music plays ]
**
-I need, like, gum or something.
That coffee, I feel like it, like, sticks to your --
to your tongue or whatever.
-Yeah, but always after coffee you need gum.
**
-Oh, look at this. -[ Gasps ] We need lettuce.
-Yes. -Lots of it.
Oh, my God, this is so exciting.
Look at all this stuff that we need.
Wait, so what's the plan?
-The garden is essentially 4x8.
-If I go to Whole Foods one more time
and spend $400 on three bags of groceries
that look like nothing is in my fridge,
I'm gonna go crazy.
But for whatever reason,
Whole Foods has me in a choke hold.
These tomatoes are aggressive, I feel like.
-What are they called? Are they called Sai De Silva's?
What is this? -I'm not a fighter.
I am more of a zen person now.
-You're the zen tomato?
-Organic is expensive.
So I'm gonna grow my own garden.
-Cilantro is here, no?
Right here. Boom!
-Parsley. Okay.
Do we just get one, or should we get two?
-I would get two, but they grow pretty --
-Pretty quickly? -Yeah.
-I really hope this turns out the way we,
like, I'm envisioning in my in my head.
-It's not going to cause you're leaving it all on me.
But what is the key here for us to use it for food
or for you to take pretty pictures of it?
-Both. -Well, see, that's the problem.
-I got a new house upstate two years ago.
I think we have enough stuff.
We're there in the summer and on the weekends.
-Total is 193. -Amazing. Thank you so much.
If it was up to my husband,
all of us would end up living
upstate and starting a farm.
Honey, I would never move.
I'm a New Yorker forever.
Listen, if I don't hear sirens and people saying [bleep] you
early in the morning, I don't feel safe.
I do not do quiet, quiet. It's not for me.
Do you think I look like Michael Jackson?
-You do look sort of like Michael Jackson.
-It's my vibe for today.
Okay, so listen, Aunt Sophia's coming in.
-Amazing. -This week.
hich I'm very excited to see her.
Her birthday just passed.
-She's the only one who drinks beer with me.
-She really likes beer...
-She loves beer. -...which is so interesting.
-It's a Brazilian thing. Women drinking beer.
That's her Brazilian side. -It is a very big beer culture.
Aunt Sufia is my mom's sister
and she is like a mom to me.
Can you help with this rice?
-You mean can I make the rice, don't you?
-Yeah. Of course.
She's so helpful.
She cooks all the time. She watches the kids.
And by all means, I'm not asking her to do any of these things,
but she genuinely just enjoys being with family.
She's the best.
I decided that it's time to get my mom out of her box.
My mother's ashes are in a shopping bag
in my closet,
in a shopping bag. [ Laughs ]
-I think she likes your closet.
-Well, she fell on my foot.
So I was just like, "Okay, mom, I get it."
In therapy, I've been doing a lot
of dealing with my feelings,
and I think now is finally the time
to take my mom out of the closet and just honor her in a way
that I'm ready to.
I had my mom in a box for two years.
It's so messed up.
-I don't think it's messed up at all.
Everybody grieves differently. -I know.
-So this is obviously the right time for you.
-Grief comes in waves,
but time makes things a little bit easier.
I've accepted that she's in a better place.
In a peaceful place. -Yeah.
-And she wasn't very peaceful when she was here, so.
-No, she was definitely struggling at the end, but.
-I think I've just come to grips with that.
And she should be in like nature.
-I agree. -In the woods.
And that's what she really loves.
So I think that we should put her in an urn,
take her upstate and like, she could hang out there.
-Yeah, but should we have that urn in the house, right,
and then take a bit of her ashes in a smaller urn
and plant that with a tree outside?
I think it would be amazing. -That would be so nice.
My mom did get a chance to visit us upstate,
and she just loved it.
And I could just picture her coming up on the weekends,
painting outside under the trees with my kids.
And I think it would just be such a beautiful experience.
-I feel like I have something. Is that a nose hair?
-Yeah, like tuck it in. -[ Laughing ]
-You know the problem is when you get old --
-It's like white. -I know. The problem --
You get gray nose hairs when you get old.
Oh, my God, that's the longest nose hair
I've ever seen. [ Gagging ]
[ Sai and David laughing ]
**
-Are you ever going to take these off?
-I am not taking these things off.
-Pavit, you have like, dents on your nose.
-Yeah.
**
It's my newest toy.
Ask me a question that I can ask my AI.
-What is your IQ?
-What is my IQ?
-...personal information. -Seriously?
-Meta said astronomical. [ Voice continues indistinctly ]
-Astronomical? -Astronomical?
Yeah, I don't know about that. -[ Chuckles ]
-I think she said "personal information."
What are you up to? -Just working.
-I have so much to do.
I have to plan this birthday. -How's that coming along?
-Um, well, you have been useless.
-I'm -- -As per usual.
-I think that's for the better for the both of us.
-You could help me a little bit.
-Sure. How can I help? -I don't know.
I have -- I have, like, so many things to do.
You know my theme.
-You know I've never seen it, right?
-You've never seen "Clueless"? -No.
The boy grew up in LA.
How have you never seen "Clueless"?
-It seems like it was a really old movie.
-It's 1995. Okay.
Yeah. -Yeah.
-Ages ago.
-"Clueless" is my all time favorite movie.
Pavit's more "Star Wars" and, like, "Star Trek."
Like, he's not cool.
It's so cute. It's like about high school,
like drama and dating.
And the fashion is ridiculous.
And it's about this girl who lives in Beverly Hills.
-Oh, I know Beverly Hills. Yeah. -Yeah, she's outrageous.
And she's like a daddy's girl. Sound familiar?
I mean, I always wanted to, like,
be the rich bitch in California, Beverly Hills.
Like, that life seems very glamorous.
I'm going to be Cher.
Who's this girl.
-What's your costume going to be?
-Oh, this is what she's known for.
This is an Alaia.
This is like a very, very famous line.
And I'm going to switch my outfit.
-You're going to switch your outfits
in the middle of the party?
-Yeah.
-Why?
-So, like, I'm giving different looks.
-Why don't you just wear one?
-Because that's boring.
The opening scene of "Clueless" was Cher with this,
like, revolving closet.
Now, how are you going to throw a "Clueless" themed party
and stick with one outfit?
No no no no, there's gonna be multiple looks.
So I'm probably going to like, do a spin on three.
It's kind of cool, right?
-That makes no sense. I would just wear one outfit.
-Too bad it's not your birthday.
Um, so that's going to be the fashion.
I have to do my birthday cake.
I have to find a photographer.
I have to do the food and beverage.
-What do I have to do for this party?
-Well, at this point, you're just going to show up.
-Okay. -You're like a guest.
-I'm a guest. Excellent. -Yeah.
You're not hosting anything?
-I have to get you a gift. Right?
-100%. -Yeah.
-It better be like diamonds
and like Chanel handbags. -I just need --
-And it better not come from Chinatown.
-I can't promise anything. -Oh, my God, stop.
-Coming up...
-Are you okay?
-Do I think that I feel differently
about us being friends? Yes.
I don't really want to be close to you.
**
-How'd your lashes hold up?
-Remember last time I was here?
I feel like I was crying a lot.
-Brynn, I told you. No crying.
**
[ Cellphone ringing ]
-Well, I never.
If it isn't the most beautiful lady in the world
who clearly is in the process
of making herself even more beautiful.
-Yes, it's called girl magic.
-I'm really upset, however, that Sugar
is not in the chair next to you.
I really am. -Aww!
Sugar doesn't get pampered enough I think.
-Clem doesn't want to put eyelashes on a dog.
She's already putting a eyelashes on this bitch.
[ Laughs ]
**
-Levi has basketball and soccer.
Someone has to pick him up at 5:15.
And I'm really hoping that someone is you.
I did the Central Park Zoo this morning.
I think you can go for a ride... -Fair.
That's fair. -...for about two minutes.
-What do you think I'm gonna do?
Hang out and watch TV?
[ Indistinct conversations ]
**
Are you kidding?
-I'm sorry. -I can't take you anywhere.
**
-Hi, Jenna.
-Hey. How you doing?
Good. How are you?
-Mm. I'm good. Except for it's raining.
Where are we going? Where's our meeting happening?
-Meetings in that room. -Do we have coffee?
-Yes, we have coffee.
-Oh, thank God.
Beckett is leaving the nest soon.
And I think knowing he's not going to be close to me,
I'm trying to, like, stay very busy.
And so I've recently taken on
a new position with the Coveteur,
which is an online fashion magazine,
as the editor-in-chief "at large." [ Laughs ]
The "at large" meaning I'm not in the office every day.
I said, I have another job, two other jobs.
-Hi there. -Hello.
-Hello, hello, hello, hello. -Hello.
I'm a partner in a startup and I also still run LoveSeen.
I know that you guys sent out an agenda.
My favorite thing.
-[ Laughs ] -Where are we starting?
-We're going to start with the roundtable discussion.
-What excited me is I haven't really been close
to photo shoots in a long time, and I love that part of it.
And also this whole process of sitting with these women,
you get this opportunity to have like a brain share.
-Each of the editors has prepared a couple of pitches.
-Okay. Who's starting? -Okay.
So beauty, there's women who are traveling to Turkey
to get eyebrow transplants.
[ Laughter ] And it's like --
-[ Laughing ] I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm like booking my flight. [ Laughter ]
-So it's like a similar method
as the male hair loss transplants.
-Great. Love. -Perfect. Done.
-So perhaps we should move on to print.
-I personally think we should as a group
make an effort to consider every month --
Are we including people?
And I feel the same way
with anything around Black History Month.
It's like we shouldn't have to think about including.
You know -- -Just in February.
-Yeah. -The shortest month of the year.
[ Laughter ]
-In June no one's paying attention.
-Right! -They're all like on vacations.
Okay, Andie.
-Alright, so I have four culture pitches.
So there's kind of a burgeoning
clown community in Los Angeles.
[ Circus tune playing ]
-No, I'm just kidding.
[ Laughter ]
Oh, my God.
You guys are really gullible.
That was fun.
**
[ Doorbell rings ]
-[ Squealing ]
-Oh, my God. -Hey!
-How are you? -Good. How are you?
-Mashallah. You look so beautiful.
-Oh. Thank you. -Welcome to my home.
I used to tell them you're gonna need, like, 30,
40 minutes to go round, but maybe it's like 30 seconds.
[ Laughter ]
So I invited Racquel to come over.
Speaking of art, you come to my house and I'll show you.
-Oh, my. Wow.
Are these all yours? -Yeah.
You know, get to know her a little bit better.
But most important, after the Hamptons,
I don't want that to be an impression of me,
because that's not me.
-I'm so excited to see the work.
-I did it for me because I'm so passionate about color.
Everything in my home, It has to come from so much joy.
-Joy. -I want to paint like
when I'm, like, laughing and dancing.
I'm sorry that actually nothing is hung.
I had the worst water damage.
That's why everything is in the floor.
Keep in mind,
I'm painting for my heart. -Right.
-It's not really for commercial purposes.
-Well, I mean, maybe one day. -Maybe one day.
-This is something that's coming out of you.
-Yeah. -Be very proud of it.
-This, I use my finger.
So some I use brush. -Right.
-Some I use my finger. -I love this.
You're painting. You are an artist.
Own that. I want you to do it right.
-[ Sing song voice ] Hearing it from you.
You know? [ Laughs ]
In my opinion, there's no bad art
because it's all coming from someone
and their experiences.
So I actually think they're great
and I love that she's doing this.
It's a great way for her
to just sit with her thoughts
and let something out into the world.
When did you first start painting?
-2021.
Oh, and is this flag yours as well?
-[ Exhales heavily ]
I'm gonna to cry if I talk about this painting.
-Oh, no. -When Americans,
they see American flag,
they just see blue, white and red.
-Yeah. -When I see American flag,
I see gold.
-Right. -You know?
They see black and white. -Mm-hmm.
-Right. The whole culture like whatever they're fighting.
-And the extreme views that the country holds right now.
-This country is so... -Beautiful.
-We don't have a bodyguard. -Right.
Nobody stop us to ask us where are you going.
Where's your money. Where's your passport.
-The freedom. -Right. The freedom.
The freedom this country has, for the longest time,
I pray what I have now.
This is a land of opportunity.
A Muslim single black Somalian girl could come here
and get a job and start a company.
Personally, I have a beef to take with American citizen.
Like don't [bleep] it up for us immigrant.
Like, we're very grateful to be here.
-You immigrated to Canada, right? -Yes, yes, yes.
-Well, how old were you when you went to Canada?
-15, 16. That's how I start modeling.
-Okay. -Started in Vancouver.
Started doing little jobs here and there.
And then eventually I moved to Richard's Models.
-Okay. -And then from Richard,
I came to New York through him. -Ah.
-Also, it was really hard for him to place me in New York.
You know, before, every agent had only one black girl.
-One -- Yes, of course. I was that one black girl.
-There you go. There you go. -For a period of time.
I was coming in as the younger version of someone
that they were already -- And mind you,
she was just a few years older than me.
It's good when you go through it,
because you also build a tougher skin.
And you need that tough skin in the modeling industry.
-You know how they say "ignorance is a bliss."
I really didn't know they were not hiring black girls.
I just thought it was competitive because New York,
like, you gotta be on your, like, A-game.
I walked in like, very gullible, smiling and...
Yeah, it was rough. It was very rough.
-Oh, beautiful. -Yeah, I'm always cold.
-Are you anemic?
-I can't be because I eat lamb every day.
-Right, which, by the way, your lamb was incredible.
-You loved it. -It was so good.
-Thank you for saving the day, too
with the barbecue. -Oh, my goodness.
-You really helped us. -Oh!
-It was a lot of lamb. -So much lamb.
-Speak of the Hampton. Mm-hmm.
-Oh, that breakfast just kind of took,
like, a different turn. -Yeah.
-I never told you this thing
until you come to my space.
-No no no no no. -Calling someone snake a liar,
It's not a good thing. -Right.
-But you are not called that
until you are condescending.
The night before, you guys were sleeping.
Even then, Brynn was talking to me condescending.
-Right. -Like, Oh, boo boo.
You're so beautiful.
But you know what? The way you act,
they gonna edit you like an angry black woman.
-I don't know what Brynn is thinking.
You're the one who triggered her into behaving a way
where she could be painted as an angry black woman.
So -- Ooh!
It all feels very manipulative to me.
So you felt like she was manipulating you?
-It's just like she wanted to set me up.
-Right. Yeah. -To be upset, you know?
-So then when you let us
all know how you were feeling. -Yeah.
-And then Brynn wanted to respond.
You felt she was going to just --
-No, I-I-I had zero interest... -Interest. Okay.
-...what she was going to say. -Right.
-Sometimes you have to have
that conversation with each other.
-Absolutely not.
-To say -- No, you don't want to.
-Not for someone who does things intentionally.
-Come on. Really? We're all friends here.
Like you can't let [bleep] just hang in the air,
and then you're, like, stewing and brewing.
You're going to explode. Get it out.
-Whatever she has towards me,
she's having it alone. -Right, right.
-Because for me, my fridge is full of fish.
There's no beef. -Right.
-Zero beef. -Yeah.
-Coming up...
I genuinely now think Sai is actually a miserable person.
She wants to make other people miserable.
She's a miserable troll
that lives under the Brooklyn Bridge.
End of story.
-[ Laughing ] Oh, my God.
**
-So, Sai, this house is amazing.
-We got a lot of work to do.
It needs a lot of reno. -Including this entire kitchen.
-The hood is so gross. -It's hideous.
-It's a beautiful house but I want it to be brand new.
I have a photo that I can show you.
This is all custom. -Oh, yeah, that's --
-That would be -- -Oh, yeah.
-The fridge is inside of there.
I bought my house upstate two years ago,
and I've started the renovation process a year
after we purchased it.
And the reason why is I really wanted
to start buying pieces that tell a story.
Pieces that I've found on my travels.
It took me one year to decide on this stone.
It is a labor of love
and I don't mind buying one piece at a time.
-Oh, I love this. -Not in your day clothes.
-Oh, leave me alone.
-I don't need anybody in my house [bleep] my sh-- up. Okay?
Don't come in here with your bad vibes,
your dirty shoes, your day clothes.
I worked hard for this home,
so I'm going to keep it that way.
Alright!
I'm ready to take my mom outside.
-Rio, where's your shovel? You're gonna dig?
-What shovel. -You gotta plant Grandma's tree.
-My plan is to bury some of the ashes in our tree.
-This is the first time I've ever had to deal with
this kind of grief.
And this is just really, really hard for me.
-Oh, this is nice. -Bench, tree.
-Like it'll be beautifully landscaped this area.
-Carefully remove the plant.
Okay, I'm actually freaking out.
I'm just having an issue with... -Putting her in?
-I'm having an issue with opening the bag right now.
-Okay. -You want me to do it?
-Yeah. I c-- I don't think I can do it.
-You're not ready?
-I'm so happy my aunt is here.
-Oh, my God, is that it? -It fell.
-She -- Look -- She had some heavy bones.
-But she was so thin.
I knew this was going to be hard.
I just didn't know how hard.
[ Somber music plays ]
[ Breathing shakily, exhales heavily ]
I've known this person my entire life.
She gave birth to me.
And now all of a sudden...
their body is burnt and shoved into a bag.
It's just really hard for me to face, to be honest.
-Barbara was totally into the whole sage and palo santo thing
and we should say a few words, right?
-I'm just sad that she died.
-Yeah? Okay.
-Using my hands feels a little weird.
Or should I use the shovel?
[Bleep] it. I love Barbara.
Barbara, I love you, I love you, I swear I do.
[ Tearfully ] I always did, and I always will.
And... [ Sniffles ]
what we're going to do right now is all about you.
Because you love nature and you love plants,
and you're going to be a tree,
and you're going to grow so big,
and you're going to blossom,
and you're going to be the woman
you was meant to be. [Sniffles]
Barbara, I love you, and I miss you and --
Say something. Go ahead.
It's okay. -Mom knows I love her.
-I know she knows that. [ Sniffles ]
-I'm good.
-What do you want this tree to mean to you?
-New life, this tree is going to be new life.
-Amen.
-I want her to be a part of nature.
She's still with me, just in a different way.
It's a place where I can go and just feel...
like I'm with my mom, and it's...
It's a happy place.
It's okay, Rio. -Aww, he remembers his grandma.
You gonna help me with the tree?
-And it's just me and my mom. We're hanging out.
**
[ Shovel scraping ]
-It's a good spot. What do you think?
We got to keep this tree alive.
-[ Crying ]
-Have you noticed that she's actually
wiping my mother all over everyone?
-That's true. -[ Laughter ]
-Oh, my God, I love you so much.
She's like, "You poor thing."
-Oh, she did that to London. -"Oh, my God."
-I didn't notice it was London. -"Are you sad?
You can't be that sad."
-[ Laughing ]
-My mother is here to stay, obviously.
-Oh, my God, this is such a comfortable shirt.
[ Laughter ]
**
-Hi. -Hi. How are you?
-I'm having a "Clueless" themed birthday.
This is amazing.
-How many of you guys are stopping in?
Should I pop some champagne?
-Yeah. For sure. Let's do it.
-Hello?
-Hi. You look very summery? -Hi, honey.
**
-For you. -Thank you
-For you. -Both: Cheers!
-They're shoplifting. -Ah!
-Hi! -Ladies
-[ Laughs ] Okay.
-Like the flesh -- -Hi.
-You look gorgeous. -Yeah, you do look good.
-You guys look hot. - We have champagne for you.
Very summer here.
Here, do you want a glass of champagne?
-Yeah, yeah, I need champagne.
-Cheers! -Cheers, babes.
-They have so many good things here.
-They really do. -I'm so excited.
-Yeah, it's gonna be -- -Also, the pure genius
of you hosting a "Clueless" party.
-It's the best. -Do you know why?
-Cause, duh.
-Cause, duh. Yeah, okay.
Let's try some stuff.
-Yeah. This is cute. This is cute.
-This is kind of hot.
-But it's an Alaia. -It's an Alaia.
-I think it's so cute.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah. -First thing --
-Okay. You -- [ Laughing ]
-Erin is an 80-year-old
trapped in a 30-year-old body.
-Sorry, it's not Balenciaga.
-You can be a farmer in those clothes.
-So I think the medium is fine. -Hey, sailors.
I'm going to take it. -Alright. Let's do it.
-Oh, my God, you guys. -No.
-Guys, I love it. -No, you're hot, babe.
-Are you wearing a curtain? -[ Laughing ]
-By the way. -We can actually make this chic.
-It's actually cute. -So chic.
-It's kind of cute. -This should be like --
-It's actually adorable. -It's kind of amazing.
-A girl always has to have options.
Cher was light years ahead of us.
She had a computer that put her outfits together.
Like, where is that computer?
Apple?
-Can we sit down? My feet hurt.
-Yeah. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I saw on Instagram that Sai and Jenna were together.
-Oh. -Now they're like best friends?
-My mom's ashes have been
-In the closet? -In the same box,
in the same bag.
-You know, I haven't done anything with my Mom's either.
-We decided to bury just a few of her ashes
in a beautiful cherry blossom tree.
-Now her and Jenna are our friends.
I'm glad to help with that relationship.
-It's so bizarre. -She's trying so --
I can't stand the fakeness. I'm sorry, I can't.
-They're doing what online? -I can't do it.
I actually don't want to be friends with Jenna now.
I'm going through such a hard time.
She knows that.
She has not reached out to me once.
She's not asked how I'm doing once.
Yet, she has time to go out
with someone who, according to her,
has told all of New York City that she can't stand her.
If that's the kind of friend she is, I'm good.
That's how - That's literally how I feel.
-Jenna is going to get an earful from me.
-I cannot stand that.
I will literally march over to Jenna's right now.
[ Indistinct ] Are you [bleep] kidding me?
-So how do you feel going in too, like,
You're going to see everyone tomorrow?
-I don't care, I love you guys.
I love Jenna.
But, like, Ubah's been crazy and I'm sick of, like,
[ Imitating Ubah ] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no. No!
Like we are grown women living in New York City.
We don't act like that.
And Sai she needs to apologize to me.
I want a [bleep] written apology.
-I wrote the group a message.
You know, apologizing. -Yeah, I saw that.
Then I wrote her separately.
-Yeah. -She doesn't write me back.
but she read it 'cause she has her read receipts on now.
-I'm trying to give her grace.
I want to hear people's feelings and emotions.
It's 2024. I watch Gen Z, TikTok.
I will honor your emotions and apologize.
Do not look at my face and call me Satan
and tell me to shut the [bleep] up.
Do not, do not. And I'm done.
I'm done playing nice.
I genuinely now think Sai is actually a miserable person.
She wants to make other people miserable.
I think she hates that I'm a happy, nice person.
She's a miserable troll
that lives under the Brooklyn Bridge.
End of story.
-[ Laughing ] Oh, my God.
-You said that the couch, like,
opens up and swallows you?
Is that where we're trying to go right now?
-No. Your birthday is gonna be great.
-Uh... [ Laughing ]
I -- I can't wait.
-Coming up...
-Who is Jenna on the phone with? -I don't know.
She annoys the [bleep] out of me.
-What's going on between you two?
-I just realize that she's not an actual friend.
**
-Oh, my God, look at this. This is so adorable.
Everything is exactly how I envisioned it --
Pink balloons, there's alcohol flowing,
candy, candy, candy, great vibes.
It's phat with a "P."
-It is, right? -That is so fun.
He doesn't know what that means. He hasn't seen the movie yet.
[ Laughter ]
**
-"I can't talk to anybody.
No. If anything happens to my daughter,
if anything happens to my daughter!"
-Oh, my God! She came as the dad!
[ Laughing ] -"I've got a .45 and a shovel.
And no one's going to miss you."
-Oh, my God.
-I'd never seen "Clueless." And so I had to watch the film.
And I realized all the girls were going to be
in these short little skirts.
-This is one of four,
so you're going to get a full situation.
-And I was like, I don't think I want to do that.
And then I saw Mel.
And I loved him. [ Laughing ]
I love the way he talked to his daughter.
Here you go, Jessel. This is for you.
His authority. I just was really into it.
-Jessel Taank, you're being sued by JFL.
Defamation of Christmas."
Jenna [bleep] Lyons.
I look like a Christmas tree.
I'm a [bleep] Christmas tree.
Never gonna let it go.
Whatever, Zaddy.
**
-Hi. Oh, my God! -You look so cute.
-Oh, this is perfect. "May I, please, remind you
that it does not say RSVP
on the Statue of Liberty." -[ Laughing ]
-I love everyone's coming up with a line.
-How are you? -You look so beautiful.
-Thank you so much. Well, I'm changing.
But this is like, one of, like, three.
-"Everything in the valley takes 20 minutes."
**
-Ms. Lichy you've been serving.
-"Destruction of property. Pavlova."
-Oh, my God!
[ All screaming ]
-Oh, my God, this is amazing.
-Ah! Oh, my God!
It's perfect. -I told you.
-Mwah! -Nailed it.
-It's so good. Hi, boo-boo baby.
-Hi, baby. -Mwah!
-You've been served. -Wait. This is so funny.
"JFL intends to file a lawsuit against you.
Indecent exposure."
-I mean... -What's my penalty?
"Start OnlyFans with private access code for Jenna."
That's just her. Your Honor.
Guilty. [ Laughing ]
-Happy birthday! You look amazing.
Oh, my God.
-Rebecca's going to Cher's funeral.
She's not going to Cher's birthday party.
-I was like, who are you? He goes, "I'm Abe."
-No. -You're Josh.
-Am I Josh? -You're very much Josh.
-You're like a dorky, weird Jew.
-It's perfect. -Exactly.
-I don't even need to pretend.
-He almost did. I told him no.
I suggested wearing the flannel
-[ Scoffs ]
I pick my battles, man. -[ Laughing ]
-So, wait, what are you doing tomorrow
on your actual birthday?
-So I was hoping that he would have
my gifts ready and a plan.
Yesterday I got a text saying,
"What do you want for your birthday?"
-Oh, no.
-I mean, Saks delivery
is at least five days.
Bergdorf is at least a week.
I mean, Net-A-Porter is same day.
But it's $25. He's not going to spend that.
-What if he's doing a really good job of pretending?
Yet, it's all happening. -Yeah, maybe he'll surprise you.
-But I doubt that he would.
-My philosophy on holidays in general,
they are all BS created by the greeting card industry.
Don't get me started on Valentine's Day.
With all these damn days you got there,
how many gifts you have to buy?
It's a waste of money. [ Cash register dings ]
**
-Hi! -Oh, there's Ubah.
-Ah!
Only you would wear leopard print with tweed.
And get over here. -Why is your voice so sexy?
-Because my voice decided to disappear.
-You gotta serve her with her papers.
-Be careful though.
She doesn't like jokes. [ Laughing ]
-Can you believe I'm going to be 41?
-But, you look like 20. What is the other outfit?
-Um, oh my God, I have, like, so many.
-I had no idea what I was going to wear
five minutes before I left my house.
And she has four outfits.
I should have called her and asked to give me one.
-Wait, where's the birthday girl?
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
I heard she's gonna change outfits three times.
-She said four times. -Four times?
It just feels like a lot.
Are you a bride? Why are we doing outfit changes?
It just feels like a production.
There's nobody that loves to glam more than Jessel.
-What is this? It's a toothpick?
**
-Alright! -Hi!
-Gorgeous!
-If anything happens to you, I'll come for them.
-[ Laughs ] You look Calvin Klein.
-Go put something else on.
**
-Oh, it's so cute in here.
Hello!
-I love the blue eyeshadow.
-Ooh. That's good, Dionne.
-Alright. Shall we migrate from the bar?
-Who's Jenna on the phone with? -I don't know.
-What's going on between you two?
-Nothing, I just realized that
she's not an actual friend.
-She stuck that in her mouth before and she choked.
-[ Laughing ] I just need to not go in all at once.
I could throw back six of those.
-Like, my friendships are about an authentic connection.
I was such a good friend to her, I --
-You two were very close. -I don't know.
I'm not interested in having a friendship with her.
[ Dramatic music plays ]
**
-I was such a good friend to her, I --
-You two were very close. -I don't know.
I'm not interested in having a friendship with her.
[ Dramatic music plays ]
My kids drive me crazy...
-You should stay here with Dad.
I'm gonna take the kids somewhere.
...and then seeing my mom sick...
You feel good? Nauseous?
...and then not being able to rely on
my husband during this time...
Finding out that you sold our Bitcoin
when we needed that --
...it really messed with my head.
And this is why I need my friends to band together for me.
And I need just some grace which I don't get.
-I'm going to break this party.
-Oh, that makes me sad to hear.
-There's nothing sad about it
'cause we're really not close anymore.
-It's about...Jenna.
**
-So what happened? Are you -- Are you okay?
-No, nothing. I'm totally fine.
-Totally? -I swear I'm great.
I have great friends in my life.
I'm good. And now I'm just like,
I don't even want to invest time in trying to be friends.
I just -- I don't want to go -- -But does she know that though?
Does she know that? -No, I don't know.
-Oh, you don't care. -She probably doesn't realize.
-She probably has no clue.
The friend that Jenna was to me when we were close
is the friend that I need right now.
I feel like I was that friend to her.
It's not reciprocated.
-I heard something very interesting.
We don't need to like --
Yesterday when I was with Jessel and Erin.
Erin was like, Sai and Jenna are friends now.
All I said was I will talk to Jenna.
So now I'm talking to Jenna.
-Hi!
-If you become buddy buddy,
with people that are mean-mean,
I will not be happy-happy.
And there will be no more sex-sex.
-[ Laughing ]
-I appreciate that Brynn had a direct conversation with me.
I don't love the fact that
Erin backdoored it and didn't say it to me.
-It's fine. I don't want you to become in the middle of anyone.
Just be careful.
-I am cautious. As I am always.
It's hard to understand why someone would say,
"Hey, be careful."
I don't know what to do with that.
I'd much rather form a relationship
with Sai on my own and then decide.
-You're a smart woman. -Hello, ladies!
-Daddy, make me a deal. Oh, there you are.
Oh. -Yeah. Hello, Daddy.
-You gotta get on my schedule.
-Oh, this is a nice little foursome.
-When is the outfit change happening?
Because I'm excited. -Oh, soon.
-I want to hate the outfits so bad,
but I [bleep] love it
because you're out of your goddamn mind.
All of Jessel's looks are quite camp.
She's like the head camp counselor.
-I'm getting a drink, Daddy.
-Are you getting a real drink?
-You're gonna try and get me to drink --
It's your goal.
-I'm not one of these -- I'm not a frat guy.
I'm not being like, "Drink, drink!"
She's pressuring me to --
But if want to have like a half a glass Chard
And get like a little freak-a-deak, just do it.
-You're a little freaky. -I don't like when people
hold out on me. -Freaky-deaky.
I think it's weird that she's constantly upset
that I'm not drinking.
Wow. Do you feel the need to drink all the time?
'Cause I don't, I'm really comfortable not drinking.
-I've just heard from everyone that you actually drink.
You just don't drink with us. -Ooh, okay.
-I'll drink with you. But not tonight.
-You know what? Buzzkill, boner killer.
-Bye.
-Everything is always, like, "womp-womp-womp."
It's, like, kind of where fun goes to die.
-You know, I have a little pigeon toe, I do.
You need, um, local honey.
I was worried that this headband
makes my nose look bigger.
-She's so boring.
She's so boring. I can't do it.
-Alright, I'm gonna go pee.
-Look at this sex monster. -Ah.
-She's like my new Jenna, basically. Sorry.
-She's not your new Jenna. She's your new Abe.
-She's my new Abe? -She's your new Abe.
-I'm gonna totally flirt with her.
-And I'm cool with it.
-[ Maniacal laughter ]
-Are you surprised?
[ Camera shutter clicking ]
**
-Does this get the Jenna Lyons seal of approval?
-What? You call this an outfit?
-[ Laughing ] -Where's the rest of it?
-Uh, I'm married to her husband.
-Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I gotta go.
-[ Gasps ] I didn't even do my cake yet.
-Yeah, but you have, like, a lot of people here for your cake.
-And it's just a cake.
-I mean, I didn't know you -- -It's not a big deal.
And I literally have a spray tan booked.
I'll show you sugar and bronze.
The latest appointment is 9:40, which I took.
I have things to do.
-I can't stay around for Jessel's, like,
15,000,000th outfit change.
Not everything has to be perfect photo op.
Including your 5th birthday.
I mean, you're 41st. Sorry.
Love you. Mwah!
[ Indistinct chatter ]
-No forewarning of the spray tan.
No heads up. I'm [bleep] pissed.
-Irish exit. -Wait. Are you leaving?
-Yeah, I have to go get a spray tan.
-Oh, my God.
-Let's roll that track. What's it called?
Oh, "You're So Vain."
-No deal, no deal. No.
-Right? -Right, no.
-Yeah, [bleep] you. No deal. -Exactly.
-That's the way. -That's what I'm saying.
-That's the way the deal's done. What he said!
[ Laughter ]
-Look, I want everybody to be friends.
-We're good. But not best friends.
-Whatever you do do not be a preacher.
-Who's not friends?
-I-I just feel differently about Jenna.
It has nothing to do with we're not --
You feel differently about Jenna?
Yeah. I'll sit.
[ Indistinct chatter ] I was like --
Oh, here we go. There we go.
-Oh, here's my girlfriend. -Yes, yes.
-Oh, my God. I have, like, hairy legs.
So this is not attractive. Oh!
-Oh my God, I'm bleeding.
[ Laughter ] I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
-I feel like you and Erin,
there's just an unresolved tension.
-God, I'm great. I'm like, so not.
-I'm sure you are, but...
-Does she feel tense? -No.
-But where's the tension then?
If I don't feel it, and she doesn't feel it...
-I wasn't going to get involved either.
I don't like to do that, but... [chuckles]
...I wasn't really thinking, and it just came out.
-I should -- -You're a lawyer.
-I really should keep my mouth shut.
-You're gonna lose this case.
-I have so many great friends.
I don't need to have one that doesn't feel authentic.
-Okay. Alright. -I don't want to do that.
I just don't feel close to her.
-Okay. -And that's okay.
-I'm gonna shut my mouth. -You're gonna get yourself --
-I'm gonna go pee. -You pee.
And drink more mescal. -Alright.
-Erin has a phone, a voice.
She can tell me if something is wrong.
I think it would be fair to say that I was clueless
about what was going on.
-Oh. -No, no!
-Hi. I haven't seen you.
Mm. There you go.
-Are you proposing, Jenna? -Yes.
-No, I'm actually serving you.
-I'm an immigrant.
Sh-- like this scares me. -[ Laughing ]
-It's fine. It's not a big deal.
We can be friends and cordial and happy.
It's just not going to be the same.
-You can't just be upset about it
and upset with her without actually asking her.
Ask the person that you're hurt by
and say, like, "Why.
We had a friendship? What happened?"
-I don't know, this is weird.
It's getting, like, really intense.
-[ Scoffs ] It is? -Yeah.
-Are you okay?
**
-Are you okay?
-I'm fine. I'm great.
-Are you really? -I'm honestly perfectly fine.
Do I think that I feel differently
about us being friends?
Yes.
-And when you say you feel differently
about that, what is that feeling?
-Like, I don't really want to be close to you.
[ Dramatic music plays ]
-Are you trying to stir me up?
Are you trying to get a rise out of me?
I'm not going to go in for it.
And I actually don't want to do this
at a birthday party.
-It was a rough year,
and I felt like, here I was, like,
bonding with someone and I on a deep way.
I'm an emotional person.
When I get close to someone, I do it for real.
-Of course.
-I felt very close to you.
When everybody was a certain way with you,
I always was steadfast and like,
I really love her. I think she's great.
And I would have been there for you, like, to the end.
-How did this end up being my fault?
-At the end of the day,
I think you believe what Brynn told you.
And you've said it to me.
There's some truth to it.
-Yeah, yeah, there has to be some part of it.
-Well, the truth was that we got in a car
that wasn't working, and then we had to order Uber.
-Right. -That was the truth part.
And Brynn and I had
a 4-hour conversation in her apartment.
And she said, "I went to Jenna's."
And you said, "Oh, so you forgave Erin?"
About the Jeff Lewis thing.
And Brynn said,
"Yeah, I forgave her. She felt so bad."
And that's when you responded, "Oh, that was fast."
-If anything, the ego part of that conversation was,
I think I felt of Jenna being like, "Really? You forgave her?"
I think I felt embarrassed that I forgave you so quick.
-So she did it to spite me?
-No. She did it to spite me. -To hurt you.
-She wanted to get back at me. And then she did.
Brynn has embellished so many stories.
It's very frustrating that Jenna kind of believes it,
and I don't know why she can look at my past actions.
I've been nothing but honest about anything that I've said,
and it's just disappointing.
Then what hurt was that, like, the subsequent months,
it was like you and Brynn, like,
and it felt very fake and very manufactured.
What do you mean, me and Brynn?
Come on, she's writing,
"Jenna is my closest one in the group."
To me it felt so inauthentic. -I didn't do it.
-I know, but it started to shift.
-This is not the case. Like, I barely talked to anyone.
I'm in the middle of doing three jobs
and trying to be in a relationship.
I'm on [bleep] full tilt. -Me too.
But there are certain people in the group
that it's a message, it's a text.
And with you, I felt like I could just be like,
"That was crazy," or blah, blah, blah.
Whatever, It doesn't matter.
-I think it matters though, because I think --
-Because you're hurt. -You're feeling -- You're --
-Yeah. -I'm not hurt. I'm good.
-It feels like -- -I just felt [bleep].
-Feels like you're making assumptions.
-Like now you're gonna be best friends with this one.
-You're making assumptions... -Maybe.
-...Erin, that are not even on the table.
-It's just not. -Okay, fine. Fine.
I sensed that Brynn started to become jealous
of my friendship with Jenna at the reunion.
She saw us getting our hair and makeup done,
which we were doing a lot.
I just don't want to go through angry again.
-Maybe we should just do improv again.
[ Laughing ]
She kept coming into the room
and trying to insert herself in our conversation.
-Do you like it, Jenna?
Whenever you like my outfit,
then it makes me feel better. -Oh, look at that. Wow.
-Oh, fresh off the Mayflower. [ Laughter ]
-All of a sudden she was using my makeup artist
that I referred to Jenna.
-You as the benefit of sharing. -Mwah, mwah.
-The sharing. -[ Chuckles ] Yeah.
- Sharing is caring. -Sharing is caring.
She noticed that Jenna was gaining a lot of popularity.
Therefore, when she saw an opportunity
to break up a close friendship, she took it.
I'm a cancer. I have like a hard shell.
-Oh, I'm a cancer, too.
-You are? -I am.
-Now, you guys can be best friends.
-[ Laughing ]
-No, but, you know, we have a hard shell.
So, like, when I let someone in. -Yes. Yes. No. I know.
-It's -- It's like, so, I don't always let people in.
-I get it. I -- I know. -I feel like I did with you.
-I want to say this. I am a bad communicator.
I struggle with, like, little text and, like, catching up.
I just want you to know. -No, I get it.
-It's not like I tried to find attention or love elsewhere.
It truly is not.
And I can see that maybe
you need me to reach out to more.
And I will. -I appreciate that.
-It wasn't that I believed Brynn over her.
It has nothing to do with Brynn.
I think what it comes down to
is she wants more for me.
and I'm not always that good
at constant communication, so.
So what I have to do is just like,
initiate the text, pick up the phone.
[ Sighs ] I guess I'm just a bad friend.
[ Laughing ] I don't know.
I'm gonna get you on my calendar.
We're gonna have a meeting and we're gonna work it out.
[ Laughter ] And I'm going to get
some contracts drawn up. -Speed meeting.
And I'm going to say, Erin is my friend.
-And we're contractually bound.
And you're going to get back together.
-I just miss you. -And that's gonna be that.
-Get Erin on my calendar immediately.
[ Laughter ]
**
-He's the only black person here.
I'm helping him. -[ Laughing ]
-Thank you.
**
[ Record scratches ] -Eww.
-Okay, this is it. -Ooh!
-Oh, my God. Ladies and gentlemen!
-Outfit number three. -Number 3 outfit change!
-Outfit number three!
-How embarrassing. -I love you.
-Okay, we got a "Clueless" outfit.
-Turn around for me, darling.
-Whoo! -Yeah!
-Happy birthday, Jessel!
-Whoo-whoo!
[ Guests cheering ]
-It's your birthday! -Whoo!
-Next time on "The Real Housewives of New York City"...
-You don't like to be in bed all day?
-With you, yes. -[ Laughs ]
-Eww, they're still talking.
-There's a glass here.
-Ubah!
-I've never been called a snake in my life.
I've never really had people, like [bleep] hate me.
-I think we should probably see a professional therapist
to help us figure this out.
**