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00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:03,836
♪ My name is Cleveland Brown
2
00:00:03,838 --> 00:00:06,138
♪ And I am proud to be
3
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♪ Right back in my hometown
4
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♪ With my new family
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♪ There's old friends
and new friends ♪
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♪ And even a bear
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♪ Through good times
and bad times ♪
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♪ It's true love we share ♪
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♪ And so I found a place
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♪ Where everyone will know
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♪ My happy mustached face
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♪ This is
The Cleveland Show. ♪
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(chuckles)
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Dinner!
15
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What's on tap, baby?
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Your favorite.
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I usually have my "favorite"
as a midnight snack.
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Your bib's on
the nightstand.
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(moaning)
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Uhp.
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00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:54,219
Oh, I know I'm not looking
at another plate of scallops.
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Scallops?! Hooray!
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It's his favorite.
I figured that out
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since we've had it
ten times this month.
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I'm gonna go toast
up my favorite:
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fish sticks
and Tater Tots.
27
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Honey, we're out of them.
28
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We had some
this morning.
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What happened to 'em?
Guilty!
30
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♪ Fish sticks and Tater Tots
and Strawberry Quik. ♪
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DONNA: Dinner!
32
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CLEVELAND:
What's on tap, baby?
33
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So, Cleveland Jr.,
are you all packed
34
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for your school trip to D.C.?
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I'm not going on that trip.
36
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Not going?
37
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This is your chance to
visit our nation's capital
38
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and see how white people
created our country
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with no help from
anybody else.
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I'm not going.
41
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Bye, Shamu.
42
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It's just that
Junior's never spent
43
00:01:41,168 --> 00:01:42,534
a night away
from his parents.
44
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Roberta, you going on
that trip, aren't you?
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No way I'm babysitting.
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Roberta, let me introduce you
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to some gentlemen of influence.
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Mr. Andrew Jackson
and his twin brother
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Mr. Andrew Jackson.
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And a hemp-growing slave owner--
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you know him as "The General"--
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Mr. George Washington.
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Forty-one dollars?
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$41 for keeping
an eye on my boy.
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Forty-one dollars.
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Hey, Junior, you ready
to have a good time
57
00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:19,338
in Washington
with your big sister
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00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:20,639
looking out for you?
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CLEVELAND JR.: Okay.
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00:02:21,509 --> 00:02:23,408
All right.
Come on up here, Junior.
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00:02:23,410 --> 00:02:25,477
Daddy, watch out!
Somebody put a lot of boogers
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00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:28,614
under your part
of the table.
(clearing throat)
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Let's go, people.
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I want fannies
on the bus!
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Come on, fannies
on the bus!
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(sighs)
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Come on, little brother.
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00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:47,833
Hey, Cleveland Jr.
What?
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00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:50,102
Get bitches, man.
70
00:02:50,104 --> 00:02:52,704
(indistinct shouting)
Okay, zip it, lock it,
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00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:54,039
put it in your pocket.
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00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:55,941
This is Tim and Arianna,
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00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:57,376
Raymond's mom and dad.
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00:02:57,378 --> 00:03:00,579
That's, uh, that's Raymond,
right back there.
75
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Hello?
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00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:03,382
Eh, you watch out,
pretty girls.
77
00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:06,718
He's, he's going to try
to kiss your face.
78
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:09,087
Oh, that's a wonderful
message, Tim.
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00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:11,190
Because kissing girls
is certainly
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00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:13,392
going to get him
into Princeton University.
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They'll be your chaperones.
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They have the power
to give you demerits.
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I will take back that power
at the end of the trip.
84
00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:24,069
But until then, you will
treat them with respect.
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Remember, no iPods,
no carbonated beverages,
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and one last rule.
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Have...
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fun!
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(bouncy jingle plays on TV)
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ANNOUNCER (on TV):
The Barf Family
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00:03:40,688 --> 00:03:43,889
will return on Fox
after these messages.
92
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Um, fast-forward.
93
00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:47,092
What?
Fast-forward
through the commercial.
94
00:03:47,094 --> 00:03:49,661
I'm not gonna fast-forward
through the commercial.
95
00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,730
Why not? That's why
we got a DVR.
96
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:54,066
We got a DVR so
we could record
97
00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:56,101
the programs we
want to watch
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00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:57,603
with he commercials.
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Your generation
needs to calm down.
100
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:01,974
Look, these ad
men are doing
101
00:04:01,976 --> 00:04:04,676
all sorts of research
on what we want to buy.
102
00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:06,712
Then they're putting
descriptions of the products
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00:04:06,714 --> 00:04:09,681
on during the shows they
know we're gonna watch.
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They're going
shopping for us.
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00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:13,819
"Fast-forward through
the commercials."
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00:04:13,821 --> 00:04:16,755
Fast-forward to
your bedtime.
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00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:19,524
ANNOUNCER:
Cascade, your husband...
108
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Wow!
109
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(indistinct shouting)
Tim, why aren't
you doing anything?
110
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,100
They're going crazy back there.
111
00:04:28,102 --> 00:04:31,503
It's like American Pie Four:
Band Camp.
112
00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:32,137
(sighs)
113
00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:33,939
May I have your
attention, please...
114
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(bus thuds, Tim grunts)
115
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(screams)
116
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Oh, so sorry about that.
117
00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:40,746
But hey, you know,
now, now you look like
118
00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:43,949
a, a very pretty
Edward James Olmos, ha.
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00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,751
Yes, you see what
you made me do?
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00:04:45,753 --> 00:04:47,886
You made me make
a freak out of that girl.
121
00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:50,989
I brought Daniel Boone hats
to wear for the bus ride.
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00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:52,491
Sounds like fun.
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It is fun.
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(funk music plays)
125
00:05:01,534 --> 00:05:03,368
(whispering):
There's Oliver Wilkerson.
126
00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:05,904
They say there ain't a
sport he hasn't lettered in
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00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:07,939
or a girl who
hasn't let him in.
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Give me your seats.
129
00:05:09,576 --> 00:05:11,777
Why was I whispering?
He's deaf.
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But I want to sit
close to my sister.
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It's not right
to separate a family.
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Tell him, Roberta.
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He's not my real brother.
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His dad married my mom.
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Nobody asked my permission.
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Well, well, well--
the plot thickens.
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(laughter)
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Out of my
chair, fatso.
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Rallo, be nice.
140
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Well, I'm tired of him
picking the menu,
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eating my fish sticks,
142
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sitting where
I used to sit,
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running around like
he owns the place.
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Oh, I'm sorry.
145
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Is your name on the mortgage
of this house?
146
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No. Is yours?
147
00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:55,187
No, but that's just
a matter of paperwork.
148
00:05:55,189 --> 00:05:58,657
I have an appointment
with Len Stein later this week.
149
00:05:58,659 --> 00:05:59,524
Oh, he called back?
150
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:01,326
Yeah, I made us
an appointment
151
00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:03,028
at 10:30 on Thursday.
152
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:04,496
I got to work
on Thursday.
153
00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:05,964
Oh. You know
what I'll do?
154
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:09,067
I'll get Len to overnight
us the signature copies.
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Hold on.
156
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Len? Hey, Cleveland
Brown here.
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00:06:14,341 --> 00:06:15,474
Cleveland Brown?
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00:06:15,476 --> 00:06:17,809
Donna Tubbs'
new husband.
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00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:19,244
Yeah. How you doing?
160
00:06:19,246 --> 00:06:21,947
Listen, Donna won't be able
to make it on Thursday,
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so we were hoping you could
send us the signature pages
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of the inter-spousal
transfer of title form.
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00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:31,223
I'm assuming they
need a real signature
and not a faxed copy?
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00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:34,159
Right, yeah. Um, could
you just send them
165
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to us here
at the house?
166
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Yeah, that way
we'll sign them
167
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and I'll just make our
file copies at Kinkos.
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Hey, and while I'm there,
169
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I'll just overnight it
right back to you.
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00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:45,170
Great!
Thanks, Len!
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Ask me Thursday at noon
if my name's on the mortgage.
172
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So I'm getting undressed,
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thinking he's running
the bath for me,
174
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only to walk in
and see his big ol' butt
175
00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:58,450
stepping into the tub.
176
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And believe me,
it was not a good angle.
177
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:02,521
(grunts)
178
00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:04,489
Did you even get a bath?
179
00:07:04,491 --> 00:07:05,624
Hell, no.
180
00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:06,691
We was out of hot water.
181
00:07:06,693 --> 00:07:09,027
I had to take a whore's
bath at the sink.
182
00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:11,696
Oh, but I am clean,
m-most definitely clean.
183
00:07:11,698 --> 00:07:15,500
Sounds like he's not respecting
your position in the family.
184
00:07:15,502 --> 00:07:17,269
I'm the man of that house.
185
00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:18,804
So what are you
gonna do, Rallo?
186
00:07:18,806 --> 00:07:21,540
I'm gonna hit him
where it hurts: the dong.
187
00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:25,410
(vocalizing dramatic sting):
♪ Dong, dong, dong.
188
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:33,452
(buzzing)
189
00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:45,230
Oh, there it is.
190
00:07:45,232 --> 00:07:47,032
Mm.
191
00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:50,368
Move your
black crack, Jack.
192
00:07:50,370 --> 00:07:51,503
Cleveland!
193
00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:52,671
Rallo had a nightmare.
194
00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:55,574
I'm far too scared
to sleep alone.
195
00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:57,242
You can sleep
with us tonight.
196
00:07:57,244 --> 00:07:59,010
CLEVELAND:
There's no room.
197
00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:01,780
Trust me, there's room
for three in this bed.
198
00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:03,081
- What?!
- Uh, uh,
199
00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:05,484
I said there's room
for "Clee" in this bed.
200
00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:07,285
You don't call me "Clee."
201
00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:08,620
Sure, I do.
202
00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:10,155
I love you, Clee.
203
00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:13,592
Oh, I love you, too, Dahn.
204
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,127
Mm, mm, mm,
205
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:17,162
mm, mm--
206
00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:20,232
(grumbling):
'Nuff of this damn...
207
00:08:21,601 --> 00:08:22,767
Ha!
208
00:08:22,769 --> 00:08:25,337
Good night, chump.
209
00:08:30,042 --> 00:08:30,742
(yawning)
210
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:33,278
Oh, look who's
sitting at his spot
211
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,680
at the head of the table.
(grumbling)
212
00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:37,148
Sleep well? I did.
213
00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:38,316
Like a baby.
214
00:08:38,318 --> 00:08:42,120
Like a baby nestled
against his mother's bosom.
215
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:44,723
I should be the bosom-nestler.
216
00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:48,660
Mmm! This Danish is good.
217
00:08:52,131 --> 00:08:54,699
Check out
my tower of power!
218
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:57,135
DEREK:
Your junk is monumental.
219
00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:59,070
(all laughing)
Look at him.
220
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:01,573
Tim, they're using
the Washington Monument
221
00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:03,308
now as their wang.
222
00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:06,311
Go stop them.
Okay, okay.
223
00:09:09,348 --> 00:09:10,348
No.
What?
224
00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:13,385
No, I-I'm not going
to tell them to stop.
225
00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:16,855
They're just kids having fun
like we used to have.
226
00:09:16,857 --> 00:09:18,290
Oh, what happened to us?
227
00:09:18,292 --> 00:09:21,326
What happened to the free spirit
I fell in love with
228
00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:24,629
who, who used to zip
around town on her Vespa
229
00:09:24,631 --> 00:09:27,432
like a giant Audrey Hepburn?
230
00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:29,601
You're right.
231
00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:31,336
I've become a nag.
232
00:09:31,338 --> 00:09:34,639
A horrible, whining,
repetitive nag.
233
00:09:34,641 --> 00:09:36,575
Th-Th-That's
all I'm saying.
234
00:09:36,577 --> 00:09:39,210
W-We, we, we need
to do something crazy.
235
00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:40,845
We need
a game-changer tonight!
236
00:09:40,847 --> 00:09:44,783
Yes, yes, let's get
tattoos and eat falafel.
237
00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:47,852
Oh, Arianna,
where have you been?
238
00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:49,721
Right in front of you.
239
00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:50,655
(pleasurable moaning)
240
00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:55,060
OLIVER:
Wow, everybody's
hooking up on this trip.
241
00:09:57,797 --> 00:09:59,764
Oh, is this yours?
242
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:02,233
I'm gonna need
a closer look.
243
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:03,201
Oh, man.
244
00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:05,503
You wouldn't believe
the horrifying
245
00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:07,806
and terrifying
nightmare I had.
246
00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:11,076
Another nightmare?
Mm-hmm.
247
00:10:11,078 --> 00:10:12,110
Oh, you poor thing.
248
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:15,580
Don't you see he's just
tricking you into babying him?
249
00:10:15,582 --> 00:10:17,515
Cleveland, he's
a little boy.
250
00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:19,250
Let him get used
to our new family.
251
00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:21,586
But he doesn't need
to sleep in our bed.
252
00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:24,289
That's where we do things
to each other.
253
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:25,690
Dirty things.
254
00:10:25,692 --> 00:10:27,492
Disrespectful things.
255
00:10:27,494 --> 00:10:28,827
Things that make it
hard for me
256
00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:31,429
to look you in the eye
the next day.
257
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:35,200
Your sweet talk is not
going to work on me tonight.
258
00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:36,901
RALLO:
Mama, I'm cold.
259
00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:38,837
Come back to bed.
260
00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:40,438
Cleveland, he's five.
261
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,807
Exactly.
Let's just go for it.
262
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:43,875
He won't know
what we're doing.
263
00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:45,844
He'll think
we're wrestling.
264
00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:48,446
Doggy wrestling.
265
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:51,249
(Ernie snoring,
muffled bass beats)
266
00:10:53,786 --> 00:10:56,254
(hiphop playing)
267
00:10:56,922 --> 00:10:59,658
(laughter)
268
00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:01,793
(laughing):
Sweet jammies.
269
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:04,796
Thanks, they're also
flame retardant.
270
00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:06,398
Excuse me, Roberta?
271
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:07,565
What do you want?
272
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:09,534
I need you
to do me a favor.
273
00:11:09,536 --> 00:11:11,503
Um, check
under my bed for...
274
00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:12,671
(clearing throat):
...monsters.
275
00:11:12,673 --> 00:11:14,706
Cleveland Jr., get out of here.
276
00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:17,142
You're too old to be
believing in monsters.
277
00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:18,843
Well, I know that
intellectually,
278
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:21,613
but phobias are not
always rational.
279
00:11:21,615 --> 00:11:23,281
That's what makes them so--
280
00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:24,783
(roaring)
(screaming)
281
00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:27,252
(all laughing)
282
00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:34,192
Cleveland, can you
dry this for me?
283
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:37,162
Why don't you have
your boyfriend Rallo do it?
284
00:11:37,164 --> 00:11:38,396
Please, Cleveland.
285
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:41,232
He's my son and he's
adjusting as best he can.
286
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:42,967
But we promised
in our wedding vows
287
00:11:42,969 --> 00:11:45,537
that we would have sex
every night.
288
00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:48,206
What?
No-no, we didn't.
289
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,941
It was implied.
290
00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:51,609
Look, I'm serious.
291
00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:54,846
Donna, this has been
going on too long.
292
00:11:54,848 --> 00:11:56,414
I'm your husband.
293
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:58,950
All right, all
right, fine.
294
00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:00,852
I'll talk to
him tonight.
295
00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:01,419
Good.
296
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:05,390
Oh, to be a fly on the wall
for that conversation.
297
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:07,959
Oh, this is gonna be good.
298
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:10,061
Hey, what's that awful smell?
299
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:11,996
Oh, it's on my little
hand-things.
300
00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:13,064
Is that--?
301
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,599
(sniffs)
Oh, gross.
302
00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:18,737
Oh, now why would I land
on a steaming pile of--?
303
00:12:22,341 --> 00:12:24,509
All right, here's your pizza,
your banana split
304
00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:27,278
and your milkshake,
served with a crazy straw
305
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,646
and crazy napkin--
306
00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:31,850
designed by our crazy chef
Nick Nolte.
307
00:12:31,852 --> 00:12:35,854
(muttering)
308
00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:36,855
You know what, Mama?
309
00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:39,758
The more time I spend with you,
the more I like you.
310
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,693
You can't say that
about most women.
311
00:12:41,695 --> 00:12:45,497
Rallo, baby, there's something
we need to talk about.
312
00:12:45,499 --> 00:12:47,699
I love you,
but Mama's married now.
313
00:12:47,701 --> 00:12:50,702
And a husband and a wife have
a room with their bed,
314
00:12:50,704 --> 00:12:53,204
and a child has
a room with his bed.
315
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:56,441
Oh, so all of a sudden
I'm a "child"?
316
00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:59,310
No, you're a young man,
and a young man...
317
00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:01,579
Don't you patronize me, lady.
318
00:13:01,581 --> 00:13:02,580
Rallo, please.
319
00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:03,715
People are beginning to stare.
320
00:13:03,717 --> 00:13:06,351
Well, let's give them
something to stare at.
321
00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:09,187
This woman
broke my heart.
322
00:13:09,855 --> 00:13:10,822
Uh, excuse me.
323
00:13:10,824 --> 00:13:13,358
I'm taking
a child psychology course
324
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:14,659
at the community college.
325
00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:17,328
Maybe I can help you guys
work this out?
326
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:19,030
You can try.
327
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:20,298
(loud slaps)
328
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,000
Listen to your mother!
329
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:24,435
Okay, that'll be two tokens.
330
00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:28,006
Send a woman to do
your dirty work.
331
00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:29,908
How do you sleep
at night?
332
00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:31,976
Butt naked, next to your mama.
333
00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:34,712
(high-pitched laugh)
334
00:13:35,881 --> 00:13:39,384
I can't believe we're stuck in
this motel for another night.
335
00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:42,086
Nothing exciting has ever
happened in a D.C. hotel.
336
00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:47,025
Didn't Marion Barry get caught
smoking crack at a D.C. hotel?
337
00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:48,893
Okay, yeah,
but besides that.
338
00:13:48,895 --> 00:13:52,931
Didn't Reagan get
shot at a D.C. hotel?
339
00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:53,865
Besides that.
340
00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:56,568
Watergate happened at
a hotel, I know that.
341
00:13:56,570 --> 00:13:57,902
(stammering):
I know, I know.
342
00:13:57,904 --> 00:13:59,771
And didn't Elliot Spitzer...?
343
00:13:59,773 --> 00:14:00,672
O-Okay, whatever.
344
00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:04,576
The point is, we need to go out
and find a party.
345
00:14:04,578 --> 00:14:06,678
Hey, guys, I got an idea.
346
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:09,914
We need to go out
to find a party.
347
00:14:09,916 --> 00:14:11,115
Yo, Oliver's right.
348
00:14:11,117 --> 00:14:13,151
There are so many bomb spots
out there
349
00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:15,620
where I could get the crowd
jumping with my demo.
350
00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:17,388
There's a fat beat on top of it.
351
00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:18,556
I'm going, like--
352
00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:21,993
(beatboxing):
♪ Ooh, yeah, ooh, ooh
353
00:14:21,995 --> 00:14:24,028
♪ Ooh, yeah, ooh, ooh...
354
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:24,963
Then I go:
355
00:14:24,965 --> 00:14:28,900
♪ Federline, Federline Jones.
356
00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:30,368
It's hot, y'all.
357
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:31,035
Peace.
358
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:35,573
(Tim laughing and shushing)
359
00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:41,246
Our marriage no longer feels
like a death sentence!
360
00:14:44,683 --> 00:14:47,485
(boys laughing
and shushing)
361
00:14:48,988 --> 00:14:50,822
Where's Roberta?
362
00:14:50,824 --> 00:14:55,493
Last I saw, she was with
Federline at this party.
363
00:14:57,930 --> 00:15:03,735
He played his demo and they
beat the crap out of him.
364
00:15:04,436 --> 00:15:07,138
Mr. Tim, uh, sorry to wake you,
365
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:10,642
but I think Roberta might
be in trouble.
366
00:15:10,644 --> 00:15:12,110
Hello?
367
00:15:12,112 --> 00:15:13,745
Is anybody there?
368
00:15:14,513 --> 00:15:16,981
TIM:
Oh, yes.
Oh, Tim, you're so naughty.
369
00:15:16,983 --> 00:15:20,652
- Oh, Yes! Yes! Yes!
- That tickles.
370
00:15:20,654 --> 00:15:22,053
Oh, yes, Tim! Oh, yes!
371
00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:26,858
(both roaring)
372
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:32,964
(siren wailing)
373
00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:37,602
Which direction is
the club Roberta's at?
374
00:15:40,639 --> 00:15:44,042
(gunshots)
375
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:51,015
Donna, guess what's
wearing my watch.
376
00:15:51,017 --> 00:15:53,952
Hope it's waterproof.
377
00:15:53,954 --> 00:15:57,055
(both laughing)
378
00:16:04,096 --> 00:16:07,131
Uh... oh...
379
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,733
(screaming)
380
00:16:08,735 --> 00:16:11,536
Ow, ow, oh!
Rallo!
381
00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:13,504
Ow, oh, ow!
382
00:16:13,506 --> 00:16:16,074
(sobbing)
383
00:16:18,877 --> 00:16:22,113
Oh, baby, Mama's so sorry.
384
00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:23,848
It's his fault.
385
00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:25,883
He made me break my leg.
386
00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:29,387
And he ate my Tater Tots
and my fish sticks.
387
00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:31,089
And he sat in my chair.
388
00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:33,858
And he called me the N-word.
389
00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:37,061
Wha-- I'm allowed to, right?
390
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,001
I usually make a left
to go to the bathroom
391
00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:45,470
when I'm in your room,
but I was in my room
392
00:16:45,472 --> 00:16:48,806
where it was all dark and scary
and I got turned around.
393
00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:50,641
I didn't know
which way to go.
394
00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:52,210
We're so sorry.
Aren't we, Cleveland?
395
00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:55,913
Oh, why? 'Cause he doesn't
know his left from his right?
396
00:16:55,915 --> 00:16:57,181
What's wrong with you?
397
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:58,716
My loins ache.
398
00:16:58,718 --> 00:16:59,851
I'm so sorry, Rallo.
399
00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:03,721
You can sleep in our bed
as long as you need to.
400
00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:04,489
What?!
401
00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:07,291
Oh, man, this kid is worse
than people who don't recycle.
402
00:17:07,293 --> 00:17:10,928
Hi, I'm Cleveland Brown,
reminding you to recycle.
403
00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:16,634
It's great for the environment,
and it only takes a second.
404
00:17:16,636 --> 00:17:18,069
Aw, it's wet.
405
00:17:18,071 --> 00:17:19,003
Is that milk?
406
00:17:19,005 --> 00:17:20,772
(sniffs)
Aw, it's beer.
407
00:17:20,774 --> 00:17:23,141
Oh, oh, this whole bag stinks.
408
00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:26,244
Aw, you know what,
(bleep) this.
409
00:17:26,246 --> 00:17:28,046
It's all trash to me.
410
00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:29,047
Y'all recycle.
411
00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:33,017
I'm gonna go wash
my (bleep) hands.
412
00:17:34,186 --> 00:17:36,120
Drugs here.
413
00:17:36,122 --> 00:17:37,555
Get your drugs here.
414
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:38,923
Ice cold drugs.
415
00:17:38,925 --> 00:17:40,958
(deep male voice):
You boys want to party?
416
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,927
What, like a pizza party?
417
00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:44,529
Let me rephrase that.
418
00:17:44,531 --> 00:17:46,631
You want to see my vageenis?
419
00:17:46,633 --> 00:17:47,632
No, thank you.
420
00:17:47,634 --> 00:17:50,668
But do you know
where this club is?
421
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:51,602
Yeah, baby.
422
00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:54,806
Go to the end of this street,
then two blocks to the right.
423
00:17:54,808 --> 00:17:58,209
If you pass the corpse in the
alley, you've gone too far.
424
00:17:58,211 --> 00:18:00,611
Thank you, sir.
Thank you, ma'am.
425
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:04,082
(lively party sounds)
426
00:18:05,717 --> 00:18:08,586
How would you like to be
seen by two million people?
427
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:09,587
Really?
428
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,656
Yeah, take off your shirt.
429
00:18:11,658 --> 00:18:12,290
What?!
Come on,
430
00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:14,959
we'll give you
a free hat.
431
00:18:14,961 --> 00:18:16,828
(cheering)
432
00:18:18,397 --> 00:18:21,532
No-- I don't think--
I'm not-- uh...
433
00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:24,202
CLEVELAND JR.:
You want to see
a pair of boobs?
434
00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:26,170
Check these out.
435
00:18:26,172 --> 00:18:28,940
Check out the
fat chick.
436
00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:30,741
(hiphop playing)
437
00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:32,710
Roberta, I'm here
to rescue you,
438
00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:36,948
like Luke did for his sister
Princess Leia in Star Wars.
439
00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:38,116
And like Anakin did
for Padme
440
00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:41,652
in Star Wars, Episode Two:
Attack of the Clones,
441
00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:43,287
which unlike the
three original films,
442
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:47,191
did not seem to take place
in an authentic environment.
443
00:18:47,193 --> 00:18:49,627
You came to save me.
444
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:50,761
Thank you,
little brother.
445
00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:53,364
But how are we gonna
get out of here?
446
00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:55,066
Like this.
447
00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:57,835
That's right.
I'm a boy.
448
00:18:57,837 --> 00:18:59,237
(screeching)
449
00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:10,715
All I want is to sleep
in the same bed as my wife.
450
00:19:10,717 --> 00:19:13,751
But it's not just about
the bedroom, Rallo.
451
00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:17,054
I married your mother
because I love her very much,
452
00:19:17,056 --> 00:19:20,658
and we are now trying to build
a new life for all of us.
453
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:22,960
So, what do you say?
No.
454
00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:26,197
What?! But I'm offering you
the head of the table,
455
00:19:26,199 --> 00:19:28,099
the newspaper...
I said no.
456
00:19:28,101 --> 00:19:29,300
The remote,
the first bath...
457
00:19:29,302 --> 00:19:31,903
I love her, too,
and she's mine.
458
00:19:31,905 --> 00:19:34,272
And where I come from,
you don't share a woman.
459
00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:35,406
Rallo, you're not being...
460
00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:38,776
Look, old man, I broke
one leg to get what I want.
461
00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:40,478
Don't think I won't
break another one.
462
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:44,415
Oh, you-you broke your leg
on purpose?
463
00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:46,984
You-- you're crazy!
464
00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:49,520
(gasps)
465
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,624
What are we gonna read
tonight, sugar?
466
00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:55,026
How about
Thomas the Tank Engine?
467
00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:58,362
I'm sorry, baby, Mama's
not feeling too good.
468
00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:00,364
I'm going to sleep.
469
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,767
Good night, Cleveland.
470
00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:06,938
(sighs)
471
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:11,943
Aw, Sir Thomas,
she's laying here with me,
472
00:20:11,945 --> 00:20:13,377
but she's thinking about him.
473
00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:15,313
I don't mind torturing
Old Brown,
474
00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:19,317
but I cannot bear
to see my mama in pain.
475
00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:21,419
Well, as Kobe Bryant once said,
476
00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:25,990
"I have overstayed
my welcome in this bed."
477
00:20:25,992 --> 00:20:27,525
(snoring)
478
00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:30,027
Hey, old man,
we need to talk.
479
00:20:30,029 --> 00:20:31,262
Wake up!
(screams)
What the...?!
480
00:20:31,264 --> 00:20:35,366
I'll take that deal if
it's still on the tab--
481
00:20:35,368 --> 00:20:36,834
DONNA:
Oh, Clee!
482
00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:37,935
Oh, Dahn!
483
00:20:37,937 --> 00:20:42,240
♪ Whenever you call me
I'll be there ♪
484
00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:46,377
♪ Whenver you want me
I'll be there ♪
485
00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:50,881
♪ Whenever you need me
I'll be there ♪
486
00:20:50,883 --> 00:20:51,916
♪ I'll be around
487
00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:54,352
The crown is heavy, but
somebody's got to wear it.
488
00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:56,954
Yeah, you got a fish stick
and a remote control.
489
00:20:56,956 --> 00:20:59,056
Have fun living
with that pin in your leg
490
00:20:59,058 --> 00:21:01,659
for the rest of your life.