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00:00:01,935 --> 00:00:04,186
♪ My name is Cleveland Brown
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00:00:04,188 --> 00:00:06,455
♪ And I am proud to be
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♪ Right back
In my hometown ♪
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♪ With my new family
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♪ There's old friends
And new friends ♪
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♪ And even a bear
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♪ Through good times
And bad times ♪
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♪ It's true love we share
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♪ And so I found a place
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♪ Where everyone will know
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♪ My happy mustache face
12
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♪ This is The Cleveland Show ♪
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[LAUGHS]
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[♪]
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ANNOUNCER 1:
And that makes
six wins in a row
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00:00:44,928 --> 00:00:46,595
for Stoolbend High baseball
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00:00:46,597 --> 00:00:49,598
under the leadership
of Coach Clarence Brown.
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ANNOUNCER 2:
It's Cleveland Brown,
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00:00:51,602 --> 00:00:56,021
who hasn't seen the postseason
since his playing days in 1984.
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ANNOUNCER 1:
Aseveryone knows,
that was the year
21
00:00:58,192 --> 00:01:01,127
the Growlers lost state
to the Mud Falls Trotters,
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General Motors shut down
the plant, little Missy White
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00:01:04,098 --> 00:01:05,731
was found bludgeoned to death,
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00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:08,417
and Stoolbend's been
in the crapper ever since.
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00:01:08,419 --> 00:01:11,570
And on a personal note,
that was the year I tried sushi.
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Didn't like it.
Never tried it again.
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Hey, Angus.
Here's a question.
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Which woman
on Friday Night Lights
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wouldn't you have sex with?
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ANNOUNCER 2:
The mayor.
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ANNOUNCER 1:
We'll accept that.
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The mayor or Saracen's grandma,
the only two possible answers.
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Go Growlers.
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00:01:27,805 --> 00:01:30,973
[CHEERING]
35
00:01:30,975 --> 00:01:33,342
Betting on the Growlers
is winning me a fortune.
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00:01:33,344 --> 00:01:36,178
Last week, I made my first
charitable donation.
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A hundred dollars
to Fight the Cure.
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Don't you mean
Find the Cure?
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Nope. Fight the Cure.
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It's America's only
pro-AIDS charity.
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If I got it,
everyone's gotta have it.
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00:01:47,358 --> 00:01:49,759
What makes you think
you have AIDS?
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I watched the Madonna
episode of Glee.
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[LAUGHS]
45
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You are an ignorant man.
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Hey, let's hear it
for Cleveland,
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who's gonna give my son,
Raymond,
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some playing time
in the playoffs.
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Don't worry, Tim,
I'll put him in next game.
50
00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:09,428
Really?
No. Not even considering it.
51
00:02:09,430 --> 00:02:11,263
Raymond's a bad player.
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Wha--? He is?
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00:02:12,850 --> 00:02:14,617
Cleveland, let me know
what I can do.
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Holt Richter
reporting for duty.
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MVP of my little league team.
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You mean your very
little league?
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Ha! We devalue you
and your accomplishments
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00:02:23,627 --> 00:02:25,094
due to your size.
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[ALL LAUGH]
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[CLAPPING]
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Who is that?
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Chet Butler,
my long-time rival
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that you're just hearing about
now for the first time.
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That dirty-playing S.O.B.
purposely beaned me
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and knocked me
out of the game,
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costing us
the championship.
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I still have the scar
from where that pitch hit me.
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So, what brings your
slow-clapping ass into my bar?
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Just taking my state
championship ring
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out for a little walk.
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Of course, you'll never know
what that feels like, loser.
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Yeah, well, you'll never know
what losing feels like, winner.
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[ALL CHEERING]
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You've won this round,
Cleveland.
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So I guess I do know
what losing feels like.
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ALL:
Ooh!
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I'm, uh, gonna go get a beer.
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[CROWD CHEERING]
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Well, I guess the crowd's
reaction
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isn't really
a good indication
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of whose side they're on.
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ALL:
Wheel of Fortune.
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[♪]
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So, Junior, how's your wood shop
project going?
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Whee!
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I'm making sawdust angels.
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That's your project?
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Who cares? It's shop.
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It's not like a real class.
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MAN:
Not a real class?
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I'm sorry.
I didn't see you, Mr. Thumbs.
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[ALL GASP]
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That's what we call him
behind his back.
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You think these are funny?
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00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:01,807
I can't walk down
the damn street
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without people pulling over
and asking if I need a ride.
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They think
you're hitchhiking.
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00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:09,982
You better get serious,
young fella.
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This project is worth 75 percent
of your grade.
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We get a grade in this class?
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Wha--? If I fail shop,
I'll disappoint my father.
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And I've never disappointed
my father.
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Get your act together, Brown.
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If your final project
doesn't blow me away,
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I will not hesitate
to give you an F.
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You would F me?
107
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:32,070
Well, how do you even
write down grades?
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I report them orally.
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That's right.
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I will F you orally.
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ANNOUNCER 1:
And the Growlers winning big
in a blowout,
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thanks to a strong outing
by deaf pitcher,
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Oliver Wilkerson.
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ANNOUNCER 2:
Okay, people, on your feet,
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00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:52,324
because it's time to welcome
the Growler himself, Sparky,
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00:04:52,326 --> 00:04:55,410
taking his seventh inning
stroll around the infield
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00:04:55,412 --> 00:04:57,179
with ballpark owner,
Lloyd Waterman.
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ANNOUNCER 1:
Sparky on the mend,
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recently bitten by a raccoon.
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ANNOUNCER 2:
Seems he's recovered just fine.
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Welcome back, Sparky.
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There he is.
Come here, Sparky.
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[GROWLING]
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[SCREAMING]
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[ALL GASPING]
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My star pitcher!
Somebody stop that dog!
127
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He's my dog.
I'll take care of it.
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I can't watch.
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Goodbye, Sparky.
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My patella.
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Oops.
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ANNOUNCER 1:
And down goes Sparky.
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00:05:35,719 --> 00:05:38,753
ANNOUNCER 2:
Third on-field execution
of an animal this season.
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00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:43,492
ANNOUNCER 1:
And who says baseball's boring?
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[♪]
136
00:05:48,931 --> 00:05:51,233
Cleveland, we're still going
to state, right?
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I got a lot
riding on this team.
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There's no way.
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00:05:54,705 --> 00:05:57,839
Without Wilkerson, we're like
Kim Cattrall's bedroom.
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Eight scared teenage boys just
waiting for it all to be over.
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It's hopeless.
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HOLT:
Coach, you missed one.
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Heads up.
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Ow! Son of a bitch!
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Where'd you learn
to pitch like that?
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Play catch with my mom
every night.
147
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She says it tuckers me out.
It does.
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Move it, kid.
149
00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:18,527
Ha-ha! Holt looks like a kid.
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[THINKING]
Wish he was a kid,
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00:06:19,863 --> 00:06:23,199
so he could throw
that knuckleball for our team.
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Wait a minute.
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Hm. Hm?
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00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:32,792
ANNOUNCER 1:
And pitching for the Growlers,
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00:06:32,794 --> 00:06:35,627
rebel transfer student,
Colt Koufax.
156
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Strike three.
What a pitch from Koufax,
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00:06:38,198 --> 00:06:40,682
which I believe
is a Jewish name.
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ANNOUNCER 2:
Before you comment further,
Gordy,
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00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:45,037
remember, everyone can hear
what you're saying.
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00:06:45,039 --> 00:06:48,607
ANNOUNCER 1:
Jews are fine by me.
Let's go, Growlers.
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[♪]
162
00:06:53,047 --> 00:06:55,914
Wow, Colt, you're such
a good baseball player.
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00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:59,567
And you're so mature
with your 5 o'clock shadow
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and your crow's feet
and your graying nose hair.
165
00:07:03,173 --> 00:07:05,507
Yeah, you look just like
the teenagers on TV.
166
00:07:05,509 --> 00:07:06,909
Yeah, I am pretty cool.
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But one time at my old school,
I took the whole day off.
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Me and my best friend, Cameron,
took his dad's Ferrari.
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00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:13,815
Drove all around Chi-town,
170
00:07:13,817 --> 00:07:16,217
picked up my girlfriend,
Sloan Peterson,
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00:07:16,219 --> 00:07:17,552
sang "Danke Schoen"
on a float.
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00:07:17,554 --> 00:07:21,106
Meanwhile, Ben Stein's
going, "Bueller? Bueller?"
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00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:23,241
Got home just in time.
Didn't even get caught.
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Chicka-ka!
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♪ Oh, oh
176
00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:27,112
Awesome!
Wow!
177
00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:29,748
Your sister
must hate you.
178
00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,267
[THINKING]
Mmm.
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00:07:31,269 --> 00:07:33,335
Donna, don't let yourself
fall in love
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00:07:33,337 --> 00:07:35,638
with another
teenage bad boy.
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00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:38,039
Especially one
who looks like...
182
00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:39,508
Holt?
183
00:07:39,510 --> 00:07:41,560
Did she just
call you Holt?
184
00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:43,295
Uh, maybe. Don't care.
185
00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:45,997
Who cares what grown-ups say?
We're kids. Incorporated.
186
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:49,000
Before your time. Our time.
Gotta go.
187
00:07:53,523 --> 00:07:55,524
Coach Brown, a word?
188
00:07:55,526 --> 00:07:56,792
Here we go.
189
00:07:56,794 --> 00:07:58,244
Hey, baby.
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00:07:58,246 --> 00:08:00,312
Cleveland, tell me
you have nothing to do
191
00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:03,381
with your best friend pretending
to be a baseball player.
192
00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:05,450
You're my best friend,
Donna.
193
00:08:05,452 --> 00:08:08,320
Oh, really?
194
00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:10,355
No. What the hell
is going on?
195
00:08:10,357 --> 00:08:11,656
Cheating to get to state.
196
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:12,758
I didn't hear that.
197
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:14,559
I said,
cheating to get to s--
198
00:08:14,561 --> 00:08:16,461
Cleveland, I heard you.
199
00:08:16,463 --> 00:08:18,180
[♪]
200
00:08:23,519 --> 00:08:24,536
You're out!
201
00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:26,939
[CROWD APPLAUDING]
202
00:08:32,428 --> 00:08:33,528
You're out!
203
00:08:33,530 --> 00:08:35,480
[♪]
204
00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:53,682
ANNOUNCER 1:
And the Growlers
are one strike away.
205
00:09:05,411 --> 00:09:06,712
You're out!
206
00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:08,731
ANNOUNCER 2:
Growlers go to state!
207
00:09:08,733 --> 00:09:12,600
My, oh, my. Championship game
tomorrow night.
208
00:09:12,602 --> 00:09:15,220
A rematch of 1984,
209
00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:19,090
Stoolbend versus Mud Falls.
210
00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:21,360
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
211
00:09:22,595 --> 00:09:25,530
I think I'm getting
the hang of this.
212
00:09:25,532 --> 00:09:30,069
Hey, Junior, I just finished my
project. Wanna take a look see?
213
00:09:30,071 --> 00:09:31,770
Wow, it's great.
214
00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:33,305
And it gets even better.
215
00:09:33,307 --> 00:09:36,241
This sheet's just covering it
up, so it's a surprise.
216
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:40,012
I'm gonna blow
Mr. Tanner's mind.
217
00:09:40,014 --> 00:09:42,147
Nuh-uh, nuh-uh.
218
00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:43,815
No, you did not.
219
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:47,102
I'm blown away.
I'm blown away.
220
00:09:47,104 --> 00:09:48,670
No!
221
00:09:48,672 --> 00:09:50,238
[LAUGHS]
222
00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:54,109
Hey, thanks. So show me what
you've been working on all week.
223
00:09:54,111 --> 00:09:56,611
It's a wooden window holder
opener.
224
00:09:58,898 --> 00:10:00,599
I got it.
225
00:10:04,871 --> 00:10:07,940
Oh, man, what else
does that thing do?
226
00:10:07,942 --> 00:10:09,407
Well, there's this.
227
00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:11,610
[ANGELIC CHIMES PLAYING]
228
00:10:12,845 --> 00:10:16,215
Off to slay
the troll king.
229
00:10:16,217 --> 00:10:19,084
I think I misunderstood
the assignment.
230
00:10:19,086 --> 00:10:21,336
[♪]
231
00:10:21,338 --> 00:10:22,670
Drink up, little buddy.
232
00:10:22,672 --> 00:10:24,439
You've kept
my betting streak alive
233
00:10:24,441 --> 00:10:26,641
and got us
to the championships.
234
00:10:27,727 --> 00:10:29,828
Timmy, he don't know.
235
00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:33,432
Timmy, honest bear.
236
00:10:33,434 --> 00:10:35,550
Here's to Colt
and the Growlers.
237
00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:38,120
Tomorrow, we--
I mean, they win state.
238
00:10:38,122 --> 00:10:42,857
And I-- I mean, he gets laid for
the first time since 1997...
239
00:10:42,859 --> 00:10:44,359
when he was 4.
240
00:10:44,361 --> 00:10:45,994
I know
you're enjoying this,
241
00:10:45,996 --> 00:10:48,897
but you're supposed
to be keeping a low profile.
242
00:10:48,899 --> 00:10:50,232
Sorry, bro, no low pro.
243
00:10:50,234 --> 00:10:52,267
Please, at least wait
until tomorrow.
244
00:10:52,269 --> 00:10:56,671
After we beat Mud Falls
and I get that sweet state ring.
245
00:10:56,673 --> 00:10:57,890
Well, I gotta bizounce.
246
00:10:57,892 --> 00:10:59,892
A kid in my homeroom's parents
are out of town.
247
00:10:59,894 --> 00:11:02,961
Okay. But remember,
we got a big game tomorrow,
248
00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:05,931
so don't statutory
rape anybody.
249
00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:07,933
[BOTH LAUGH]
250
00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:15,123
[TIRES SQUEAL]
[ROCK MUSIC BLARING]
251
00:11:15,125 --> 00:11:16,908
Oh, Holt's home.
252
00:11:18,811 --> 00:11:21,230
Wait, what's Colt doing
driving Holt's car?
253
00:11:21,232 --> 00:11:22,897
He must have stolen it.
254
00:11:22,899 --> 00:11:24,699
And he drove right
to Holt's house.
255
00:11:24,701 --> 00:11:26,868
The balls on that kid.
256
00:11:26,870 --> 00:11:30,572
Yeah, Tim. I'll be sure to
reprimand him after the season.
257
00:11:30,574 --> 00:11:32,874
Now Colt is going
into Holt's house.
258
00:11:32,876 --> 00:11:34,843
We gotta stop him.
259
00:11:34,845 --> 00:11:36,161
[GROWLING]
260
00:11:36,163 --> 00:11:37,729
Stop it!
Stay away from Colt.
261
00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:39,597
Don't tase me, bro!
Stay away from Holt.
262
00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:42,067
Help! Beatles!
Your names are so similar,
263
00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:44,002
and you are of similar sizes.
I can't get up!
264
00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:46,104
Old people commercial!
265
00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:49,707
This just in.
Your star player wears a wig.
266
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:52,110
Come on, Tim. I need that
for the game tomorrow.
267
00:11:54,063 --> 00:11:55,030
[GASPS]
268
00:11:55,032 --> 00:11:56,331
What in the wild,
269
00:11:56,333 --> 00:11:58,901
wild world of sports
is going on?
270
00:11:58,903 --> 00:12:01,236
Hey, Cleveland,
you're not gonna believe this,
271
00:12:01,238 --> 00:12:04,572
but, uh, Colt is, uh, is Holt.
272
00:12:04,574 --> 00:12:08,293
What? No. That--
That can't be true, he--
273
00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:11,446
Wait a minute, you knew.
You all knew.
274
00:12:11,448 --> 00:12:15,416
Look, I only need Holt to pitch
one more game tomorrow,
275
00:12:15,418 --> 00:12:18,286
and then Stoolbend
is state champs.
276
00:12:18,288 --> 00:12:19,787
Sure, it's cheating.
277
00:12:19,789 --> 00:12:21,857
But I'm doing it
for you, Tim.
278
00:12:21,859 --> 00:12:23,391
Can't you see that?
279
00:12:23,393 --> 00:12:26,761
All of this has been
for you and me.
280
00:12:26,763 --> 00:12:30,131
I'm sorry, Cleveland,
but cheating is morally wrong.
281
00:12:30,133 --> 00:12:31,833
Plus, Raymond
should be pitching.
282
00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:35,337
I'm sorry. I have no choice
but to report thi-- Ow!
283
00:12:35,339 --> 00:12:37,004
What the--?
284
00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:40,308
Hey, man, cut it out.
That's a shovel, you know?
285
00:12:40,310 --> 00:12:44,579
Why won't you go down?
286
00:12:44,581 --> 00:12:47,315
Okay, seriously, Lester,
it's getting really annoying.
287
00:12:47,317 --> 00:12:49,951
KENDRA:
For the championship!
288
00:12:49,953 --> 00:12:51,770
[HOWLING]
289
00:12:59,245 --> 00:13:02,047
Go Growlers.
290
00:13:05,084 --> 00:13:08,386
I'm freaking out.
I got blood on my hands, Lester.
291
00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:11,589
I gotta keep it together.
I gotta keep it togeth--
292
00:13:11,591 --> 00:13:12,841
Tim will be fine.
293
00:13:12,843 --> 00:13:15,594
I'll bring him back
right after the game tomorrow.
294
00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:17,896
[TIRES SCREECHING]
295
00:13:17,898 --> 00:13:19,548
This doesn't feel right.
296
00:13:19,550 --> 00:13:21,650
Like a vegan barbecue.
297
00:13:21,652 --> 00:13:25,570
All right. Not dogs
and shamburgers are ready.
298
00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:29,741
Hey, bro,
you want some fake-on on that?
299
00:13:29,743 --> 00:13:30,942
[SCREAMS]
300
00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:34,212
Smell that?
That's meat burning.
301
00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:38,783
Oh, God,
that smells so good.
302
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:44,022
Okay, listen up.
It's almost game time.
303
00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,090
Where's Colt?
304
00:13:45,092 --> 00:13:46,174
Um...
305
00:13:46,176 --> 00:13:47,542
He quit.
306
00:13:47,544 --> 00:13:48,810
He's joining the musical.
307
00:13:48,812 --> 00:13:50,645
He said he had to be true
to who he is,
308
00:13:50,647 --> 00:13:52,614
not to who everyone
thought he was.
309
00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:56,384
Five, six, seven, eight.
310
00:13:56,386 --> 00:13:57,852
[DANCE MUSIC BLARING]
311
00:14:05,227 --> 00:14:07,562
What are you thinking?
This is the championship.
312
00:14:07,564 --> 00:14:10,232
Musical theater
is for the gays,
313
00:14:10,234 --> 00:14:13,168
the lucky, lucky gays.
314
00:14:14,903 --> 00:14:16,438
[SIGHS]
315
00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:21,559
Dad, why are you undressing
that little boy
316
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:24,262
who has a chest tattoo
of Jeremy Piven
317
00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:26,364
just like Mr. Holt?
318
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,733
Scram, Holt.
Get to the field.
319
00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:30,969
Wait, what's going on here?
320
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:33,038
Why would you do this, Dad?
321
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,839
Let me tell you
something, son.
322
00:14:34,841 --> 00:14:37,542
Sometimes the cards you're dealt
aren't good enough.
323
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,644
You have to reach
for better cards.
324
00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:41,013
Cheating cards.
325
00:14:41,015 --> 00:14:42,680
But how can you live
with yourself
326
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:44,649
when you're cheating to win?
327
00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:47,202
I'm just settling the score
with Coach Butler.
328
00:14:47,204 --> 00:14:49,937
Besides, it's tradition
to cheat in baseball.
329
00:14:49,939 --> 00:14:54,175
Look at Mark McGwire,
Roger Clemens, Alex Rodriguez,
330
00:14:54,177 --> 00:14:58,846
and the entire 2004 and 2007
Boston Red Sox.
331
00:14:58,848 --> 00:15:02,834
Sometimes you gotta do
whatever it takes to win.
332
00:15:02,836 --> 00:15:05,787
Now, come on,
we're gonna go win state.
333
00:15:05,789 --> 00:15:06,988
I'll be right there.
334
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:09,725
I just remembered something
I need to do.
335
00:15:09,727 --> 00:15:12,460
[THINKING]
I wonder what
he remembered to do.
336
00:15:12,462 --> 00:15:15,129
I wonder what Donna's
making for dinner.
337
00:15:15,131 --> 00:15:18,032
I wonder if she'll
even make dinner.
338
00:15:18,034 --> 00:15:20,935
I'll pick up some Pad Thai
and some scrambled eggs
339
00:15:20,937 --> 00:15:23,104
and a Clark bar
on the way home.
340
00:15:23,106 --> 00:15:24,806
If she's already made dinner,
341
00:15:24,808 --> 00:15:27,108
then I'll just eat that
for lunch tomorrow.
342
00:15:27,110 --> 00:15:28,176
[LAUGHING]
343
00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:29,877
Terry will be so jealous.
344
00:15:29,879 --> 00:15:32,747
He always has
crummy lunches.
345
00:15:32,749 --> 00:15:35,917
It's sad that Terry's alone.
346
00:15:35,919 --> 00:15:37,652
[ORGAN PLAYING]
347
00:15:41,424 --> 00:15:43,541
Hey, old man.
348
00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:44,609
Get it?
349
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:45,844
[BOTH LAUGH]
350
00:15:45,846 --> 00:15:47,679
Yes, I do get it.
351
00:15:47,681 --> 00:15:50,414
Oh, I'm happy
you're here, Rallo.
352
00:15:51,734 --> 00:15:52,700
You're out!
353
00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:54,636
ANNOUNCER 1:
Another strikeout.
354
00:15:54,638 --> 00:15:56,787
I haven't seen a pitching
performance rival this
355
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:59,991
since Danny Almonte,
the kid who lied about his age
356
00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:02,760
to pitch in the Little League
World Series.
357
00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:04,596
[OWLS HOOTING DISTANTLY]
358
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:11,720
What the--? How did I get
in the woods?
359
00:16:11,722 --> 00:16:14,088
Oh, man,
stood up too fast.
360
00:16:14,090 --> 00:16:16,892
Oh, gross, sap.
I hate the woods.
361
00:16:16,894 --> 00:16:18,660
You gotta beam me out of here,
Jesus.
362
00:16:18,662 --> 00:16:20,662
I gotta haul bear ass
to that game
363
00:16:20,664 --> 00:16:22,597
and stop Cleveland
from cheating.
364
00:16:22,599 --> 00:16:25,801
If there was any way
to get to the field quick.
365
00:16:27,603 --> 00:16:31,223
Hm. That gives me an idea.
366
00:16:33,976 --> 00:16:35,760
Hey, thanks for the ride, Doug.
367
00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:38,029
Good luck with your wife's
operation.
368
00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:40,798
Oh, right. Don't worry,
honey, we're almost there.
369
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,900
[WOMAN GROANING]
370
00:16:45,354 --> 00:16:48,423
ANNOUNCER 1:
Grab your gas can
and find a cop car,
371
00:16:48,425 --> 00:16:51,893
because two more outs
and Stoolbend is champs.
372
00:16:51,895 --> 00:16:53,261
ANNOUNCER 2:
Hold everything.
373
00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:56,847
Here comes virgin
Principal Wally Farquhare.
374
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,883
Stop the game!
Stop the game!
375
00:16:58,885 --> 00:17:01,152
One of these students
is ineligible.
376
00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:08,593
Ernie Krinklesac
is the guilty Gus.
377
00:17:08,595 --> 00:17:11,329
He never turned in
his final wood shop project.
378
00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:13,364
What?
That gives him an F,
379
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,399
which makes him
academically ineligible
380
00:17:15,401 --> 00:17:18,069
for extracurricular
activities.
381
00:17:18,071 --> 00:17:19,153
Whew!
382
00:17:19,155 --> 00:17:21,590
Hey, how did Ernie
fail shop?
383
00:17:21,592 --> 00:17:23,424
He built our carport.
384
00:17:23,426 --> 00:17:26,761
How? How indeed.
385
00:17:26,763 --> 00:17:29,180
I did what it took to win, Dad.
386
00:17:29,182 --> 00:17:31,616
First, I created
a distraction.
387
00:17:34,820 --> 00:17:37,388
And then, for the final part
of my trick,
388
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,023
known as the prestige,
389
00:17:39,025 --> 00:17:42,460
I took Ernie's project
and put my name on it.
390
00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:44,729
How could you do that
to your friend?
391
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:47,965
Like you said, winning is
the most important thing.
392
00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:50,935
Friend or no friend,
I gotta get mine.
393
00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:53,805
And if I failed shop,
I would disappoint you.
394
00:17:53,807 --> 00:17:56,408
And I've never ever
disappointed you, Daddy.
395
00:17:56,410 --> 00:17:59,911
Well, you did disappoint me
by cheating.
396
00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:02,647
What? Where do you think
I got the idea?
397
00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:05,049
You're cheating.
I learned it from you.
398
00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:07,084
You just found out
I was cheating.
399
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,453
Ah, busted.
400
00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:11,222
Oh, Junior,
what have I taught you?
401
00:18:14,460 --> 00:18:17,545
You did good, Holt,
but the jig's up.
402
00:18:17,547 --> 00:18:19,230
Why are you taking me out, bro?
403
00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:20,999
This whole thing's wrong.
404
00:18:21,001 --> 00:18:24,436
Bad caramel.
Too much bad caramel.
405
00:18:24,438 --> 00:18:26,421
Give me the ball.
406
00:18:26,423 --> 00:18:29,257
Yeah, I get it.
It's probably for the best.
407
00:18:29,259 --> 00:18:32,560
All these 'roids
are doing a number on my junk.
408
00:18:36,248 --> 00:18:39,701
[ALL CHEERING]
409
00:18:39,703 --> 00:18:43,204
You're about to find out what
happens when animals attack.
410
00:18:43,206 --> 00:18:45,774
If you, uh, if you remember
those shows.
411
00:18:45,776 --> 00:18:49,510
Take it easy, Tim. I know you're
upset with me, but look.
412
00:18:49,512 --> 00:18:50,946
Um....
413
00:18:50,948 --> 00:18:53,114
Far away.
414
00:18:53,116 --> 00:18:55,049
Hello.
415
00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:56,651
Far away.
416
00:18:56,653 --> 00:18:59,553
That's my--
That's my Raymond.
417
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:01,723
Yeah, Raymond. Go, buddy!
418
00:19:01,725 --> 00:19:04,726
I'm really sorry, Tim.
I know I messed up.
419
00:19:04,728 --> 00:19:06,260
Who cares, man?
420
00:19:06,262 --> 00:19:09,363
It's my son
in the championship game.
421
00:19:09,365 --> 00:19:11,416
ANNOUNCER 1:
Local burnout Raymond the bear,
422
00:19:11,418 --> 00:19:14,419
not looking like he knows
where he is.
423
00:19:15,721 --> 00:19:18,523
Remember, that pitch
is not in slow motion
424
00:19:18,525 --> 00:19:19,957
to create dramatic effect.
425
00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:21,959
It's that slow.
426
00:19:21,961 --> 00:19:25,146
ANNOUNCER 2:
It's almost as if the ball
itself is stoned.
427
00:19:27,415 --> 00:19:30,067
Bye-bye.
428
00:19:30,069 --> 00:19:31,469
ANNOUNCER 1:
And there you have it.
429
00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:33,271
The Mud Falls Trotters
430
00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:35,907
are your state champions.
431
00:19:35,909 --> 00:19:37,641
[ALL BOOING]
432
00:19:37,643 --> 00:19:40,996
You lose again,
Cold Brown.
433
00:19:40,998 --> 00:19:45,200
I guess my pitcher was just
a little bit better than yours.
434
00:19:48,820 --> 00:19:52,390
Well, Donna, he may have
the ring and the championship,
435
00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:55,192
but I have the comfort
of a clear conscience.
436
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,662
I did a great thing
here today.
437
00:19:57,664 --> 00:20:00,732
Not really. You cheated
to get to the championship,
438
00:20:00,734 --> 00:20:03,668
and then wussed out and didn't
go through with it at the end.
439
00:20:03,670 --> 00:20:07,138
You realize you eliminated three
deserving teams from contention?
440
00:20:07,140 --> 00:20:08,906
So you really didn't
do anything great.
441
00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:10,074
No, I did.
442
00:20:10,076 --> 00:20:11,942
You don't get it.
It's guy stuff.
443
00:20:11,944 --> 00:20:14,579
Clear conscience, full hearts,
can't lose.
444
00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:18,483
Whatever. I'm just glad
I never knew anything about it.
445
00:20:19,501 --> 00:20:21,602
There's still time.
446
00:20:22,505 --> 00:20:27,842
♪ 525,600 minutes
447
00:20:27,844 --> 00:20:33,147
ALL:
♪ 525,000 journeys to plan
448
00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:38,252
♪ 525,600 minutes
449
00:20:38,254 --> 00:20:44,426
♪ How can you measure the life
Of a woman or a man? ♪
450
00:20:44,428 --> 00:20:47,562
No. No touch.
451
00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:07,848
[♪]
452
00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:41,549
[English - US - Line 21]