1
00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:04,837
[HORNS HONKING]
2
00:00:04,839 --> 00:00:06,839
[♪]
3
00:00:12,862 --> 00:00:16,749
CLEVELAND:
♪ When the day is long
4
00:00:18,284 --> 00:00:20,736
♪ And the night
5
00:00:20,738 --> 00:00:23,939
♪ The night is yours alone
6
00:00:27,911 --> 00:00:33,748
♪ When you're sure
You've had enough ♪
7
00:00:33,750 --> 00:00:36,518
♪ Of this life
8
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♪ Hang on
9
00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:48,147
♪ Don't let yourself go ♪
10
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♪ 'Cause everybody cries ♪
11
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♪ And everybody hurts
12
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[MUSIC STOPS]
13
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You've given me an idea.
No time to waste.
14
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Wait, do you still have
that Moses staff?
15
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Sure do.
16
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And...part!
17
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Had it backwards.
[PEOPLE CHEERING]
18
00:01:23,618 --> 00:01:27,219
Terry, do I have
tiny Jews in my hair?
19
00:01:27,221 --> 00:01:29,254
Yeah, it looks like it.
[LAUGHS]
20
00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:32,841
♪ My name is Cleveland Brown
21
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♪ And I am proud to be
22
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♪ Right back
In my hometown ♪
23
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♪ With my new family
24
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♪ There's old friends
And new friends ♪
25
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♪ And even a bear
26
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♪ Through good times
And bad times ♪
27
00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:48,406
♪ It's true love we share ♪
28
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♪ And so I found a place
29
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♪ Where everyone will know
30
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♪ My happy mustache face
31
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♪ This is The Cleveland Show ♪
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[LAUGHS]
33
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[♪]
34
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The Spanish ice cream
truck's back.
35
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Let's buy some pot.
36
00:02:08,361 --> 00:02:10,428
Oh, just Cleveland.
37
00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:12,164
Hey, can we buy some pot?
38
00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:14,633
Marijuana is illegal
and immoral.
39
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,068
No, wait. That's cocaine.
40
00:02:16,070 --> 00:02:17,970
No,
I don't have any marijuana.
41
00:02:17,972 --> 00:02:22,107
I am here to talk to you about
selling beer on the freeway.
42
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That's right,
I've invented a beer truck.
43
00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:27,813
The business strategy
is in your investment packets.
44
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I'm in.
Me too.
45
00:02:29,834 --> 00:02:32,801
I just gotta show
this to my lawyer.
46
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I don't know Cleveland.
47
00:02:34,238 --> 00:02:35,754
It's just that me and Kendra
48
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have been sort of
in-between jobs
49
00:02:37,224 --> 00:02:38,590
for the last 34 years.
50
00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:40,024
Money's a little tight.
51
00:02:40,026 --> 00:02:42,394
But if you invest
what little money you have
52
00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:43,829
in my beer truck idea,
53
00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:47,666
you're guaranteed to make
a million dollars or less.
54
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Fine. I'll ask my wife.
55
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:52,337
Oh, yeah. If there are two
things women are great at,
56
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it's managing money
and not killing dreams.
57
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Ha.
58
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[ALL LAUGHING]
59
00:03:03,966 --> 00:03:06,734
So I thought
if I took our savings,
60
00:03:06,736 --> 00:03:09,354
our couch money,
and redeemed our Camel bucks--
61
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:12,474
But that scrilla's gotta
last us our whole lives.
62
00:03:12,476 --> 00:03:16,678
I mean, what are the odds
of me falling in Walmart again?
63
00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:18,346
Please.
64
00:03:18,348 --> 00:03:21,366
No, Lester. The answer is no.
65
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:25,003
Now, why don't you get
in here with me?
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00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:26,738
How?
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[♪]
68
00:03:32,661 --> 00:03:34,629
[LAUGHING]
69
00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:37,516
Come on, Rallo. You're up.
70
00:03:37,518 --> 00:03:39,918
Rallo, you've grown
a foot and a half.
71
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,988
Young man, it is time
I give you another haircut.
72
00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:45,740
No offense, Mama, but I'm ready
to get a real haircut
73
00:03:45,742 --> 00:03:48,210
from someone who's qualified
to cut hair.
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00:03:48,212 --> 00:03:51,263
Oh, so suddenly my masters
in cosmetology means nothing?
75
00:03:51,265 --> 00:03:54,767
Yeah, suddenly.
76
00:03:54,769 --> 00:03:57,369
Well, then I guess I can't help
you with that.
77
00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:59,437
Little smart-ass.
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00:03:59,439 --> 00:04:03,642
I now christen
thee Beer Force One.
79
00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:06,110
[CHEERING]
80
00:04:08,447 --> 00:04:10,565
Guys, wait for me!
81
00:04:12,318 --> 00:04:14,119
It's Lester.
What's he doing?
82
00:04:14,121 --> 00:04:16,955
Looks like he's jogging
and carrying a big jar of money.
83
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:18,556
That's how McConaughey
works out.
84
00:04:18,558 --> 00:04:19,825
I'm in!
85
00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:23,178
I knew you'd come around.
We need you.
86
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:25,363
Give me your hand!
87
00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:27,315
[♪]
88
00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:30,436
Cleveland, slow down a little.
89
00:04:34,824 --> 00:04:36,357
He's not gonna make it!
90
00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:38,160
The hell he's not.
91
00:04:38,162 --> 00:04:41,363
I'm gonna slow down
a little more.
92
00:04:49,639 --> 00:04:52,474
[GRUNTING]
Oh. Oh.
93
00:04:52,476 --> 00:04:54,676
[BOTH SOBBING]
94
00:04:57,663 --> 00:05:00,848
[POP MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO]
95
00:05:00,850 --> 00:05:04,002
Two lights, two regulars.
Two lights, two regulars.
96
00:05:06,672 --> 00:05:07,639
We're tapped out.
97
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:11,009
Sorry, folks.
That's all for today.
98
00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:13,044
MAN:
Come on.
99
00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:15,680
We've really done
something here today.
100
00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:19,318
TIM:
Guys, you might wanna come out
here and take a look at this.
101
00:05:22,438 --> 00:05:25,273
[PEOPLE GROANING]
102
00:05:25,275 --> 00:05:28,743
Oh, well. I guess we've learned
not to invest our own money
103
00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:30,545
in our harebrained ideas.
104
00:05:30,547 --> 00:05:31,847
Good night, everybody.
105
00:05:31,849 --> 00:05:33,215
Whoa, whoa, Cleveland.
106
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I put everything
I had into this truck.
107
00:05:35,285 --> 00:05:37,285
I'm screwed. Bankrumpt.
108
00:05:37,287 --> 00:05:38,753
It's "rupt."
109
00:05:39,922 --> 00:05:41,622
Hey,
you guys moving?
110
00:05:41,624 --> 00:05:43,558
What? No.
I told you Cleveland.
111
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,727
We've lost everything
and it's all your fault.
112
00:05:45,729 --> 00:05:48,263
You tricked me with your
Obama-like eloquence,
113
00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:50,232
and "tell you no lie" mustache.
114
00:05:50,234 --> 00:05:52,534
Ma'am, we're gonna
need your Rascal.
115
00:05:52,536 --> 00:05:55,103
Oh, not the Rascal!
116
00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:56,138
I'm sorry.
117
00:05:56,140 --> 00:05:57,772
[GRUNTING]
[WHIMPERING]
118
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Hey, Tony, we got a fatty.
Little bologna here?
119
00:06:01,545 --> 00:06:02,544
[GROWLS]
120
00:06:02,546 --> 00:06:04,846
Oh.
121
00:06:04,848 --> 00:06:07,916
You come back here
with that bologna.
122
00:06:18,427 --> 00:06:20,161
There goes your house.
123
00:06:20,163 --> 00:06:23,632
Kendra, I'll do whatever
it takes to make this right.
124
00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:25,967
I'll be at mother's.
125
00:06:27,036 --> 00:06:29,137
[GRUNTING]
126
00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:32,006
Thanks a lot, Cleveland.
127
00:06:38,414 --> 00:06:39,781
Oh. Leak.
128
00:06:43,202 --> 00:06:44,286
MAN [ON TV]:
And they're off.
129
00:06:44,288 --> 00:06:45,787
Hey.
130
00:06:45,789 --> 00:06:47,623
Murray.
And a black kid.
131
00:06:47,625 --> 00:06:53,194
Boys, this is my friend, Rallo,
and he needs a man's haircut.
132
00:06:53,196 --> 00:06:55,163
Rallo, this is Vinnie.
133
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,448
Oh, Rallo. Forget about it.
134
00:06:57,450 --> 00:06:59,417
Well, that seems authentic.
135
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:00,969
Hey, grab a magazine
136
00:07:00,971 --> 00:07:03,538
and tell me what
we're doing today.
137
00:07:03,540 --> 00:07:07,742
Just take me back down
to a Lionel Jefferson.
138
00:07:11,030 --> 00:07:12,764
Whoa, these ladies are naked.
139
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:15,200
I mean, I've seen plenty
of naked ladies in my--
140
00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:18,003
Oh, she ain't got no wiener.
What happened to her wiener?
141
00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:19,838
Someone got it.
142
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,473
Just like I got your nose.
143
00:07:22,475 --> 00:07:25,010
[CHUCKLES]
144
00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:27,312
She never had a wiener, did she?
145
00:07:27,314 --> 00:07:30,648
She's had lots
of wieners, Rallo.
146
00:07:30,650 --> 00:07:32,567
[♪]
147
00:07:34,070 --> 00:07:36,071
[KENDRA GRUNTING]
148
00:07:39,575 --> 00:07:42,477
Oh, hey, it's you.
You ever catch that bologna?
149
00:07:42,479 --> 00:07:43,845
Read this.
150
00:07:45,197 --> 00:07:47,816
"Blah, blah, blah, failure.
151
00:07:47,818 --> 00:07:50,786
"Blah, blah, blah,
life not worth living.
152
00:07:50,788 --> 00:07:52,120
Blah, blah, blah, blah."
153
00:07:52,122 --> 00:07:53,789
Misspelled "suicide."
154
00:07:53,791 --> 00:07:55,390
Who is this even from?
155
00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:58,443
It's from Lester,
and he says he's driving
156
00:07:58,445 --> 00:08:02,247
your dang beer truck
over Suicide Falls.
157
00:08:02,249 --> 00:08:05,767
My deposit! And Lester.
158
00:08:05,769 --> 00:08:08,403
[♪]
159
00:08:16,495 --> 00:08:19,581
Oh, there he is!
160
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,551
He might make it across.
161
00:08:26,688 --> 00:08:28,356
Nope. He gone.
162
00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:35,797
[PLAYING COUNTRY MUSIC]
163
00:08:38,634 --> 00:08:43,471
We gather here today to mourn
the loss of Lester Krinklesac.
164
00:08:43,473 --> 00:08:45,740
One could never know what
would drive a man
165
00:08:45,742 --> 00:08:47,309
to take his own life.
166
00:08:47,311 --> 00:08:49,944
Oh, wait. I have
his suicide note right here.
167
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:51,513
Let me read it.
168
00:08:51,515 --> 00:08:52,914
Huh.
169
00:08:52,916 --> 00:08:55,567
Apparently,
he met financial ruin
170
00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:57,803
after some damn fool
convinced him
171
00:08:57,805 --> 00:09:00,605
to invest in a,
get this, beer truck.
172
00:09:00,607 --> 00:09:03,824
Oh, boy. Here we go.
Blame the beer truck.
173
00:09:03,826 --> 00:09:05,576
I do not blame the beer truck,
174
00:09:05,578 --> 00:09:07,946
but the greed
and the dumb-ass-itude
175
00:09:07,948 --> 00:09:10,548
of whoever was behind
the beer truck.
176
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:14,802
Swearing during a funeral.
He's swearing during a funeral.
177
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:17,572
I know.
I just feel so terrible.
178
00:09:17,574 --> 00:09:20,508
He was my friend,
and I made him do this.
179
00:09:20,510 --> 00:09:22,277
Yes, you did.
180
00:09:22,279 --> 00:09:26,381
You killed this man as surely
as Cain killed Abel
181
00:09:26,383 --> 00:09:28,783
or Ebert killed Siskel!
182
00:09:28,785 --> 00:09:32,853
Two thumbs down to the serpent
who led Lester astray,
183
00:09:32,855 --> 00:09:35,790
for he shall burn in hell!
184
00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:37,175
[SOBBING]
185
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:40,579
Ahem. Well, at least
we'll be in hell together.
186
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:41,779
Me? Why?
187
00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:44,316
Because of all
your texting and driving.
188
00:09:44,318 --> 00:09:45,983
Driving is boring.
189
00:09:47,169 --> 00:09:48,402
You did this.
190
00:09:48,404 --> 00:09:50,672
All right. Drive safe.
191
00:09:51,857 --> 00:09:54,576
You know, we should offer
to take her in.
192
00:09:54,578 --> 00:09:58,580
Or at least make
an empty gesture.
193
00:09:58,582 --> 00:10:00,832
Hey, Kiki,
taking a little break?
194
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:03,635
Well, being a widow
ain't as glamorous
195
00:10:03,637 --> 00:10:05,737
as Courtney Love makes it look.
196
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:07,239
Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
197
00:10:07,241 --> 00:10:10,475
So, Kendra, you need a place
to stay or, no, you're fine?
198
00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:13,862
Fine. I wouldn't wanna
be a burden.
199
00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:15,163
Then say no.
200
00:10:15,165 --> 00:10:18,683
But then again, if it will ease
some of your guilt,
201
00:10:18,685 --> 00:10:21,086
I suppose it's
the least I can do.
202
00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:23,554
DONNA [IN THE DISTANCE]:
The least you can
do is not do it.
203
00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:26,224
Donna, she is
a shamefully obese widow.
204
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:27,892
She's staying with us.
205
00:10:27,894 --> 00:10:29,560
By the way, how's Ernie?
206
00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:32,597
He's away at the job he took
when we lost the money.
207
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:35,850
[ALL GRUNTING]
208
00:10:39,505 --> 00:10:42,840
Oh, God! My legs!
209
00:10:42,842 --> 00:10:44,008
[ALL SCREAMING]
210
00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:45,877
Never a dull moment, huh?
211
00:10:47,179 --> 00:10:48,613
[MAN SCREAMING]
212
00:10:48,615 --> 00:10:51,265
[CHEERING]
213
00:10:51,267 --> 00:10:52,600
[LAUGHING]
214
00:10:52,602 --> 00:10:54,435
You boys watching
The Squeakquel?
215
00:10:54,437 --> 00:10:56,204
No, I was just telling
them a joke
216
00:10:56,206 --> 00:10:57,972
I heard at Murray's barbershop.
217
00:10:57,974 --> 00:11:01,392
Suffice it to say, it has to do
with a traveling salesman,
218
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:03,227
and a farmer's
daughter with teeth
219
00:11:03,229 --> 00:11:05,664
in a place you might not expect.
220
00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:08,383
[LAUGHING]
221
00:11:08,385 --> 00:11:10,235
Agh!
You are not to set foot
222
00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:12,937
in that disgusting
barbershop ever again.
223
00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:15,023
Oh, man.
Murray and his friends
224
00:11:15,025 --> 00:11:16,892
are so lucky
their mamas are dead.
225
00:11:16,894 --> 00:11:18,626
Oh, damn, Rallo.
226
00:11:18,628 --> 00:11:20,095
I know.
I shouldn't have said it.
227
00:11:20,097 --> 00:11:22,197
God, please don't take my mama.
228
00:11:22,199 --> 00:11:25,133
[♪]
229
00:11:28,570 --> 00:11:30,655
Miss Kendra ate
all the marshmallows
230
00:11:30,657 --> 00:11:31,857
out of my cereal.
231
00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:34,759
That's just fantastic.
Sorry, Junior.
232
00:11:34,761 --> 00:11:36,794
But she's only here
for a few days,
233
00:11:36,796 --> 00:11:40,965
and, actually, some people eat
cereal without marshmallows.
234
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:44,819
Well, not me. The floor can have
this because it's useless.
235
00:11:44,821 --> 00:11:48,055
I'm going to Denny's
for some pancakes.
236
00:11:48,057 --> 00:11:50,825
Did somebody say pancakes?
237
00:11:50,827 --> 00:11:52,527
Oh, man.
238
00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:59,817
KENDRA:
Oh, oh, Cleveland.
239
00:11:59,819 --> 00:12:01,385
Check it, homes.
240
00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:04,488
Your air mattress
done went flat on me.
241
00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:06,590
That wasn't
an air mattress.
242
00:12:06,592 --> 00:12:10,761
It was a $1500
Sealy Posturepedic pillow top.
243
00:12:10,763 --> 00:12:14,232
Well, now it's a flat toilet.
Oh, God.
244
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:17,151
[♪]
245
00:12:18,387 --> 00:12:22,423
Oh, I gotta get back
to that barbershop.
246
00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:25,644
Hold still, Legolas.
247
00:12:25,646 --> 00:12:28,279
We don't want your silky,
flaxen tresses
248
00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:29,948
to get caught in your bowstring,
249
00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:32,817
at the Battle of Helm's Deep.
250
00:12:32,819 --> 00:12:36,954
Or maybe I'll bring
the barbershop to me.
251
00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:38,790
You're pretty.
252
00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:41,459
Prettier than I'll ever be.
253
00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:43,461
[GRUNTING]
254
00:12:46,031 --> 00:12:47,131
[CHUCKLES]
255
00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:48,299
I'm just playing.
256
00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:51,219
[♪]
257
00:12:51,221 --> 00:12:55,039
Yes, Kendra. I've come all the
way to the Fluvanna County Mall,
258
00:12:55,041 --> 00:12:58,543
and you're right,
they do make Kevlar pantyhose.
259
00:12:58,545 --> 00:13:00,912
[SIGHS]
260
00:13:05,801 --> 00:13:08,903
Mannish by Hilary Swank?
261
00:13:08,905 --> 00:13:10,187
Lester?
262
00:13:10,189 --> 00:13:12,724
Oh, my God, Lester.
You're alive.
263
00:13:12,726 --> 00:13:14,592
Pardon me, my dear sir.
264
00:13:14,594 --> 00:13:17,895
But I do believe you have
me confused with someone else.
265
00:13:17,897 --> 00:13:23,351
As you can see here on
my nameplate, my name is Lestah.
266
00:13:23,353 --> 00:13:25,419
I'm sorry. I had you
confused with some--
267
00:13:25,421 --> 00:13:26,888
Ah-ha!
268
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,005
[SHRIEKS]
269
00:13:28,007 --> 00:13:31,976
I got Swank eye.
I reek of false humility.
270
00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:33,594
Lester, wait.
271
00:13:33,596 --> 00:13:35,897
I'll buy two bottles
of that cologne.
272
00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:37,381
You mean it?
Yes.
273
00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:39,567
You buy three
you get a folding umbrella.
274
00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:40,835
I don't need three.
275
00:13:40,837 --> 00:13:42,703
Lester, you've gotta come home.
276
00:13:42,705 --> 00:13:44,139
[THUNDER RUMBLES]
277
00:13:44,141 --> 00:13:46,374
All right, I'll buy three.
278
00:13:48,544 --> 00:13:50,245
But, Lester, how did you do it?
279
00:13:50,247 --> 00:13:52,947
I mean, I saw you drive
over that cliff.
280
00:13:52,949 --> 00:13:55,333
You saw what
looked like me appear
281
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,802
to drive over
what seemed like a cliff.
282
00:13:57,804 --> 00:13:59,553
Actually, it was a cliff.
283
00:13:59,555 --> 00:14:02,056
That was probably confusing.
Here, let me explain.
284
00:14:02,058 --> 00:14:04,075
LESTER:
As the truck headed
toward the cliff,
285
00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:07,211
I deftly maneuvered
the door lock mechanism
286
00:14:07,213 --> 00:14:09,096
into its unlock mode.
287
00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:11,082
Then, I wrapped my fingers
288
00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:14,051
around the door release lever
and applied pressure,
289
00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:16,954
causing the door to swing free
on its hinges.
290
00:14:16,956 --> 00:14:18,289
With no time to spare,
291
00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:20,191
I sent an electrical impulse
292
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:22,042
from my brain
to my leg muscles,
293
00:14:22,044 --> 00:14:25,312
instructing them to extend
quickly and forcefully,
294
00:14:25,314 --> 00:14:29,984
thus propelling my body
out of the vehicle.
295
00:14:29,986 --> 00:14:32,320
So you jumped out of the truck.
Yup.
296
00:14:32,322 --> 00:14:34,822
And you faked
your death. But why?
297
00:14:34,824 --> 00:14:35,956
[SIGHS]
298
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:37,859
Haven't you ever
felt like the world
299
00:14:37,861 --> 00:14:39,293
would be better off without you?
300
00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:41,780
[♪]
301
00:14:41,782 --> 00:14:44,782
♪ My name is Glenn Quagmire
And I say ♪
302
00:14:44,784 --> 00:14:46,117
♪ Gig-ged-dee
303
00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:48,520
♪ Gig-geddy-gig-ged-dee
304
00:14:48,522 --> 00:14:50,755
♪ Giggy-giggy-giggy
Ged-dee ♪
305
00:14:50,757 --> 00:14:54,008
No. The world needs me.
306
00:14:54,010 --> 00:14:55,560
[♪]
307
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:57,161
LESTER:
Well, here it is.
308
00:14:57,163 --> 00:15:00,431
Check it out, Cleveland.
Futon, not too bad.
309
00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:02,834
Mini-fridge, not too bad.
310
00:15:02,836 --> 00:15:05,937
My roommate, Dean Cain, bad.
311
00:15:05,939 --> 00:15:09,724
Your wife needs you, and I need
you to get her out of my house.
312
00:15:09,726 --> 00:15:12,493
She's turned the place
into Jabba's Palace.
313
00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:14,428
[DRUMS BEATING]
Yum, yum.
314
00:15:14,430 --> 00:15:15,596
Agh!
315
00:15:15,598 --> 00:15:19,500
[LAUGHING]
316
00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:21,269
That was the whole joke?
317
00:15:21,271 --> 00:15:23,104
Oh, I sat
in the damn makeup chair
318
00:15:23,106 --> 00:15:24,705
for seven hours for this.
319
00:15:24,707 --> 00:15:26,474
Look, I've been with Kendra
320
00:15:26,476 --> 00:15:28,276
since my sophomore year
in high school,
321
00:15:28,278 --> 00:15:30,044
when she was
my guidance counselor.
322
00:15:30,046 --> 00:15:33,447
She guided me to drop out
of school and shack up with her.
323
00:15:33,449 --> 00:15:35,516
She was
a horrible guidance counselor.
324
00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:37,051
My point is,
325
00:15:37,053 --> 00:15:40,638
I've never had a chance to live
on my own without Kendra.
326
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:43,874
And I found out it's great.
I can do whatever I want.
327
00:15:43,876 --> 00:15:47,428
Don't you get it? When I died,
I finally felt alive.
328
00:15:47,430 --> 00:15:49,630
And I'm never going back.
329
00:15:49,632 --> 00:15:53,534
Well, I guess the Lester
I knew is dead.
330
00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:54,852
Goodbye, Cleveland.
331
00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:57,388
You better get out of here
before Dean Cain gets home.
332
00:15:57,390 --> 00:16:00,358
He is a horrible human being.
333
00:16:02,244 --> 00:16:04,412
Kids, good news.
[SNORING]
334
00:16:04,414 --> 00:16:07,515
Bomb threat at the school.
Mama's home early.
335
00:16:07,517 --> 00:16:08,649
[BLUES MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO]
336
00:16:08,651 --> 00:16:10,584
Sweet pearls and Jheri curls!
337
00:16:10,586 --> 00:16:12,336
Here's your cut, big man.
338
00:16:12,338 --> 00:16:16,073
Oh, boy.
Thanks, Mr. Rallo.
339
00:16:16,075 --> 00:16:17,558
Mama.
340
00:16:22,097 --> 00:16:24,799
Rallo, why are all
these men in my kitchen?
341
00:16:24,801 --> 00:16:25,617
[GASPS]
342
00:16:25,619 --> 00:16:27,418
Are they smoking my cigars?
343
00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:29,737
Miss Donna,
you need to relax.
344
00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:33,440
Have a seat, honey.
My chair is a no-stress zone.
345
00:16:33,442 --> 00:16:37,178
Uh-uh. Junior, nobody touches
my hair. Not even me.
346
00:16:37,180 --> 00:16:40,898
Shh. Shh. Shh.
347
00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:42,700
We all know it's a wig.
348
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:46,403
Now, let's see what we can do
with what God gave you.
349
00:16:46,405 --> 00:16:48,890
[♪]
350
00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:03,555
Well, what do you think?
351
00:17:03,557 --> 00:17:06,290
Ooh, I look like Beyoncé.
Well...
352
00:17:09,177 --> 00:17:11,011
[GRUNTING]
353
00:17:11,013 --> 00:17:13,481
Kiki, this is very hard.
354
00:17:13,483 --> 00:17:16,734
I have no idea how to tell you
that Lester's alive.
355
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:19,838
But, what I wanna say is--
Lester's alive?
356
00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:21,940
Oh, see, she already knows.
357
00:17:21,942 --> 00:17:24,608
And here I am walking
on eggshells.
358
00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:28,512
And bacon and garlic toast
and chili cheese fries.
359
00:17:28,514 --> 00:17:29,881
And what's that green thing?
360
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:32,283
Piece of lettuce
I picked off a burger.
361
00:17:32,285 --> 00:17:34,285
[♪]
362
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:36,654
[CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
363
00:17:39,758 --> 00:17:43,544
Mama, look at all these women.
You've ruined my barbershop.
364
00:17:43,546 --> 00:17:47,548
Just like that Beauty Shop movie
ruined the Barbershop franchise.
365
00:17:47,550 --> 00:17:49,683
Again, Rallo,
just because we're black,
366
00:17:49,685 --> 00:17:51,419
that doesn't mean
we have to pretend
367
00:17:51,421 --> 00:17:53,254
Barbershop was a good movie.
368
00:17:53,256 --> 00:17:55,573
Oh, heck with this.
I'm going back to Vinnie's.
369
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:58,275
You most certainly
are not, young man.
370
00:17:58,277 --> 00:18:01,496
Oh, I'm not? You realize Junior
answers to me.
371
00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:04,898
If I say the word, you go back
to looking like James Brown.
372
00:18:04,900 --> 00:18:07,502
♪ Hit me
373
00:18:07,504 --> 00:18:09,036
Fine, go.
374
00:18:09,038 --> 00:18:12,256
Look who's back,
you old buzzards.
375
00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:14,208
I'm sorry.
Our memories are not what--
376
00:18:14,210 --> 00:18:15,543
It's Rallo.
377
00:18:15,545 --> 00:18:17,878
Rallo.
Hey, Rallo.
378
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:19,413
[ALL COUGHING]
379
00:18:19,415 --> 00:18:21,282
Hey, Rallo.
Here's a 20.
380
00:18:21,284 --> 00:18:22,749
Run down
to the liquor store
381
00:18:22,751 --> 00:18:24,318
and pick us up
a bottle of gin,
382
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:26,587
a bottle of Scotch
and a box of matches,
383
00:18:26,589 --> 00:18:27,989
so you got something
to play with
384
00:18:27,991 --> 00:18:30,024
while we get drunk
and take our naps.
385
00:18:30,026 --> 00:18:32,877
All right.
386
00:18:32,879 --> 00:18:35,479
Hm. I'm gonna try something.
387
00:18:37,683 --> 00:18:40,017
Look who's back,
you old buzzards.
388
00:18:40,019 --> 00:18:42,186
I'm sorry, our memories
are not what--
389
00:18:42,188 --> 00:18:43,487
It's Rallo.
390
00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:45,456
Rallo.
Hey, Rallo.
391
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:46,557
[ALL COUGHING]
392
00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:47,658
Hey, give me 20 bucks.
393
00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:49,160
I'll run down
to the liquor store,
394
00:18:49,162 --> 00:18:51,462
and pick up a bottle of gin
and a bottle of Scotch.
395
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:52,830
Good idea.
396
00:18:52,832 --> 00:18:54,581
[♪]
397
00:18:54,583 --> 00:18:57,602
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
398
00:18:57,604 --> 00:18:59,604
Hey, Cleveland.
I'm glad you came back.
399
00:18:59,606 --> 00:19:02,756
I forgot to show you something.
400
00:19:02,758 --> 00:19:05,626
Just got this.
They call it a shower curtain.
401
00:19:05,628 --> 00:19:07,228
I reckon
it's so when you pee,
402
00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:08,696
it don't spray
all over the floor.
403
00:19:08,698 --> 00:19:10,064
Lester, listen.
404
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:12,150
There's someone
who wants to talk to you.
405
00:19:17,605 --> 00:19:19,139
[GRUNTING]
406
00:19:19,141 --> 00:19:21,175
[GRUNTING]
407
00:19:27,315 --> 00:19:28,532
Kendra.
408
00:19:28,534 --> 00:19:32,119
Lester Krinklesac,
you pack your stuff,
409
00:19:32,121 --> 00:19:34,621
and you get your skinny behind
410
00:19:34,623 --> 00:19:37,391
back to our home right now.
[MEN GRUNTING]
411
00:19:37,393 --> 00:19:39,426
I'm tired of you telling
me what to do.
412
00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:41,128
I'm in charge here.
413
00:19:41,130 --> 00:19:43,414
I have my freedom.
I have my self-respect.
414
00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:47,218
And I have a jar of mayonnaise
without finger marks inside it.
415
00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:50,488
Mayonnaise is a finger food.
MAN: Talk faster.
416
00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:52,423
You know why I took
that money, Kendra?
417
00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:54,792
Because I thought that
if this beer truck worked,
418
00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:57,295
I'd have finally done
something that you're proud of.
419
00:19:57,297 --> 00:20:00,080
And you'd start respecting me.
420
00:20:00,082 --> 00:20:01,282
You're right.
421
00:20:01,284 --> 00:20:04,051
I don't respect you
like I should,
422
00:20:04,053 --> 00:20:07,639
but I'm gonna
start trying really hard.
423
00:20:07,641 --> 00:20:09,640
[MEN GRUNTING]
424
00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:11,159
[MEN GRUNTING, GROANING]
425
00:20:11,161 --> 00:20:12,460
MAN:
Together!
426
00:20:12,462 --> 00:20:14,695
I'm sorry, Lester.
427
00:20:14,697 --> 00:20:16,531
I love you.
428
00:20:16,533 --> 00:20:19,166
I'll do whatever it takes
to get you to come back
429
00:20:19,168 --> 00:20:22,870
and stay on Cleveland's couch
with me for the next few months.
430
00:20:22,872 --> 00:20:24,071
[GROANS]
431
00:20:24,073 --> 00:20:26,557
Oh, Lester.
432
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:28,842
MAN 1: Don't do that!
MAN 2: We're losing her.
433
00:20:28,844 --> 00:20:29,777
Mm.
[MEN YELLING]
434
00:20:29,779 --> 00:20:31,845
[YELLING]
[CRASHING]
435
00:20:31,847 --> 00:20:33,614
Kendra!
I'm okay.
436
00:20:33,616 --> 00:20:36,016
But both my legs is broken.
437
00:20:36,018 --> 00:20:38,585
And I crushed Dean Cain.
438
00:20:38,587 --> 00:20:41,488
No one will miss him.
And we'll sue the movers.
439
00:20:41,490 --> 00:20:42,522
[CHUCKLES]
440
00:20:42,524 --> 00:20:44,125
We're back in business.
441
00:20:44,127 --> 00:20:46,026
Cleveland, we're going home.
442
00:20:46,028 --> 00:20:49,463
Hooray, everything worked
out for everybody!
443
00:20:54,519 --> 00:20:58,088
Hey, look. Them fins remind me
of that movie.
444
00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:00,057
♪ Da-da-dum-dum
Ba-da-bum-bum ♪
445
00:21:00,059 --> 00:21:01,658
♪ Ba-ba-bum-bum
Ba-da-bum-bum ♪
446
00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:02,760
♪ Ba-ba-bum-bum
447
00:21:05,747 --> 00:21:07,748
[♪]
448
00:21:38,780 --> 00:21:41,749
[English - US - Line 21]