Come on, come on. Go. Push.
I'm getting ready for the party La, la, la-la la
Better bring my daughter La, la, la-la, la
If you're gonna go to the ball,
you have to know how to dance like a princess.
One, two, three. One, two, three.
What are you gonna wear today?
- I'm gonna wear... - You're gonna wear...
- I'm gonna wear... - A bucket on your head?
No!
No?
- And a barrel around your body. - No!
And scrub brushes for your shoes.
- No! - One, two, three...
Ah!
One, two, three...
Arf, arf, arf, arf-arf.
Arf, arf, arf...
- Good morning. - Arf?
Arf, arf, arf, arf...
Hey, how are you, buddy?
Did you get something to eat?
No, I'm not hungry.
Arf! Arf, arf!
Ar-r-rf!
Arf! Arf!
[♪ LONNIE DONEGAN: "Mule Skinner Blues"]
Hey.
Fuck!
Good morning, shine
Good morning, Captain
Good morning, shine
Do you need another mule skinner working on your new road line?
Cos I like to work
I'm rolling all the time
I like to work
I'm rolling all the time
I can carve my initials on a mule's behind
Well, it's hey...
Hey, hey, hey, little water boy!
Fetch that water bucket round
Well, it's hey
Well, it's, hey, little water boy
Fetch that water bucket round
If you don't like your job
Set that water bucket down...
Yeah, that's fine.
Yeah.
'Franklin? Hey, it's me. I just wanted to leave a message.'
'Do you think we could make some time to talk later?'
'Just the two of us, without the kids?'
'I really wanna work this thing out.'
'OK? I miss you.'
Eva Khatchadourian?
Done a lot.
Look, Eva. I don't really care who you are, or what you done,
so long as you can type and you can file, you can have this job.
Oh, that... that's wonderful.
Thank you.
I won't let you down, I promise. Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Sure.
See you Monday.
Great. Thank you.
Looks like someone's having a nice day. Enjoying yourself?
I'm sorry?
I hope you rot in hell, you fucking bitch!
- Jesus. What the hell was that? - No, no. It's nothing.
- Let me call 911. - No, it was my fault.
- But she just totally hit you. - No, no, I'm fine.
'Eva, when are you coming home?'
'I miss you.'
'I love you.'
'Promise me you'll never go away again.'
I will never... will never...
never go away.
- Can you promise me? - Yes, I promise.
Promise me you'll never go away again.
- Is it safe? - No, it's not safe.
Sure?
Are you sure about this?
'Is this really happening?'
'Ooh, I can feel him. I can feel it.'
'We did it.'
I'm gonna need these all processed today, Eva.
But today is my afternoon off.
- You remember, I told you? - Oh, shit, that's right.
- Get to them as soon as you can. - Sure.
[♪ LONNIE DONEGAN: "Ham 'N' Eggs"]
Ham and eggs
Pork and beans
I woulda had more, boys
But the cook was so mean
I'm gonna roll, roll in a hurry...
Help me!
To make it on the side of the road
If I had known
My captain was blind
I wouldn't have come to work, boys
When the clock struck nine
I'm gonna roll, roll in a hurry
Hurry, hurry
To make it on the side of the road
Pork and beans...
- Hey, Eva. - Hey, Al.
No, officer, get off me! Let go of me, man!
Get off me!
- Keep walking. - Hey, lady! Lady!
Lady, please help me! I didn't do nothing, man!
Get off of me!
Eva? Eva, stop resisting.
Stop resisting, Eva.
Eva?
Hey! Hey!
Hey!
Rise and shine.
- It's late, Eva. - Hey.
The day's almost over.
- Hi. - Please don't pick him up.
I've just put him down, Franklin.
Hi. Hi.
There he is. You wanna play?
You wanna play?
He's all right.
You've got to rock him a little bit. He's all right.
You think I'm exaggerating?
You just have to rock him a little bit.
There's my little dude.
Jesus. It's all 12?
- I'll take them as they are. - But they're totally broken.
I'll take them as they are.
'You're gonna be a good-looking boy.'
'Man, the girls are gonna love you.'
'No, no, no.'
'Don't wake up. Don't wake up.'
'Can you say Mommy?'
'Mo-mmy. Mommy?'
Kevin?
Can you say ball? Ball? B-B-B-B.
Ball.
No? OK.
I'm gonna throw it to you. You're gonna roll it back to me, OK?
Roll it back to Mommy.
Roll it back. Roll it back to Mommy.
OK. OK.
Roll it back, OK?
Just roll it back. Just roll it.
When he was a baby, he never stopped screaming,
and I thought maybe it had damaged his hearing.
No, his hearing's fine.
But shouldn't he be talking by now?
I read somewhere that non-verbalising was an early sign of autism.
He has none of the tell-tale rocking signs.
I wouldn't worry about it too much.
He's a floppy little boy, isn't he?
But there's nothing wrong with him.
Thank you.
OK. Roll it back to Mommy.
Oh! Whoa!
Yay! Yay!
OK. Gonna roll it back again. That was really good, Kev.
OK, here we go.
OK?
'E is for elephant, large as a house'
'As big as can be, not small like a mouse.'
Can you say elephant, Kevin? Elephant?
E-le-phant.
Kevin. Kevin?
Kevin, could you say Mommy for me?
No.
- Mommy? - No.
- Just say Mommy. - No.
[♪ BUDDY HOLLY: "Everyday"]
Every day, it's a-getting closer
Going faster than a rollercoaster
Love like yours will surely come my way
A-hey? A-hey, hey
Every day, it's a-getting faster
Everyone said, "Go ahead and ask her"
Love like yours will surely come my way
A-hey? A-hey, hey
Every day seems a little longer
Every way love's a little stronger
Come what may
Do you ever long for true love from me?
Every day, it's a-getting closer
Going faster than a rollercoaster
Love like yours will surely come my way
A-hey? A-hey, hey...
Every day seems a little longer
Every way love's a little stronger
Come what may
Do you ever long for true love from me?
Every day, it's a-getting closer
Going faster than a rollercoaster
Love like yours will surely come my way...
Trick or treat!
Hey, lady, we know you're in there!
- We want candy! - Shit.
Hey, lady, we want candy!
I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that!
Mommy was happy before widdle Kevin came along.
You know that?
Now Mommy wakes up every morning and wishes she was in France!
'Trick or treat!'
Candy! Candy!
That elevator's a death trap.
He needs a yard, somewhere he can toss a ball, fill a pool.
Na, na, na, na...
But I love New York.
Come on. You sound like a bumper sticker.
It's a matter of priorities, Eva. He's only gonna be a kid once.
You can house-hunt all you want. I'm not leaving the city.
Neh, neh-neh, ner.
Kevin, stop that. That's enough. Let Mom and Daddy talk.
- Neh, neh-neh, ner. - Kevin, quit that!
'You got a family room here.'
'Master bedroom's back there with two huge walk-in closets.'
'The bathroom is amazing.'
Here we are, guys. Our very own castle.
I'm gonna go and grab some lunch. Does anybody want anything?
Hey?
Hey, wait up. Mrs K!
Hey.
It's me. Soweto.
Hi there.
I just wanted to see how you were.
I'm fine. Thanks.
- You look well. - Yeah.
The doctors are saying there's a chance I might walk again.
That's great.
Well, you take care, Mrs K.
You too.
Come on, come on!
Die, die, die!
Ah! No, no, no!
- No, no, no, no. - Got him!
- How do you jump? - Die!
Aargh!
Go, go, go, go!
Die!
Kev, you up there?
Kevin?
Kev, you in there? Let Daddy go pee-pee.
In the pooper-dooper.
[♪ LONNIE DONEGAN: "Ham 'N' Eggs"]
See, you wanna kind of... go right there.
- Oh! - See?
Click on that link and it should open right up.
And if it doesn't... Well, try it again.
- So left click. Wanna give it a try? - Sure.
- No, no. - Sorry.
- You wanna right click, right there. - Yeah. OK.
- See, it opens up. Right there. - Great.
Yeah, thanks. I think I got it.
Thanks for your help.
- I pooped. - Oh!
Hey, buddy. What?
You pooped?
Oh, OK. Well, let me help you. Here... Wait a minute, OK.
Here, erm... go to your room. I'll be right there.
Let's not wake up Mommy.
Go on. Go on, buddy.
These squiggly squares of paper... they're dumb.
Everybody needs a room of their own.
You have your room. This is Mommer's room.
I can help you make your room special if you like.
What do you mean, "special"?
Well, so it looks like your personality.
What personality?
I think you know what I mean.
They're dumb.
No, no, no. I mean, it's good.
You don't need me to do that?
And... And the guide...?
OK.
Well, I mean, if you have it in hand...
I could?
Really?
Well, that all sounds great.
OK, John. OK?
I'll talk to you later. OK, bye.
Kevin?
What else do you have to say?
Go wash your face and hands.
He says he's really sorry...
...and that he was only trying to help make it special.
Do you remember how you got that?
The most honest thing you ever did.
You know how they potty train cats?
They stick their noses in their own shit.
They don't like it, so they use the box.
OK. Let's work on our counting. What comes after three?
Nine.
- What comes after seven? - 71.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,
9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20,
21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30,
31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40,
41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50.
Now can we quit?
There, you can add that together, since you think you're so smart.
You did not?
You did not.
Oh!
Are you enjoying yourself?
'I can see the doctor by myself.'
I have to tell you something, Eva.
That's a brave boy you've got there.
- Thank you. - Anytime.
What Mommer did was very, very wrong...
...and she's so, so sorry.
Hey, Kev? Kev, hold on a sec!
Kev!
Kevin.
Hey, Kev. What happened?
- I broke my arm. - How did you break your arm?
I had poopy pants.
Mommer went to get wipes.
I fell off the changing table onto my dump truck.
Mom took me to Doctor Goldblatt.
It was all my fault.
No, no, don't be silly.
You can't watch him every second of the day.
Franklin...
Unbelievable.
How did you get him to do that?
Well, whatever it was, it worked.
Not yet.
OK.
- I love you, kiddo. - Nya-na-na-naah!
I don't like that. Turn it off.
Honey, do you mind if I stop off at the store?
I wanna go home.
It's just that I need to pick up...
Home it is.
Hey, guys!
Hey, Dad, how was work? Take any cool pictures?
Eva, he's just a boy.
He's a sweet little boy.
That's what boys do.
Mommer's fat!
When did you...? When were you gonna tell me?
Soon. Now.
How am I a part of the decision now?
What am I supposed to say now?
So the daddy bear plants his seed
in the mommy bear and it grows into an egg.
Is this about fucking?
Do you know what that means?
The boy puts his pee-pee in the girl's doo-doo.
Well, haven't you ever wished you had somebody else around to play with?
No.
- You might like it. - What if I don't like it?
Then you get used to it.
Just because you're used to something doesn't mean you like it.
You're used to me.
Yes, well, in a few months,
we're all gonna get used to somebody new.
Beautiful.
Hey, Kev, come on over here and meet your little sister.
Here's your big brother.
That's Kevin. Oh, that's your big brother.
Yes.
Yeah.
It's Kevin. It is. It is...
Kevin, don't. Don't do that.
No. That's not nice.
We'd better go downstairs and see if they have any snacks, OK?
We'll get us some Cheez Doodles.
'Christ! Ecuador? For two months?'
'Why can't you send someone else?'
'I really wanna work this thing out.'
'First he cries too much. Then he's too quiet.'
'Then he makes up his own little language and it's annoying.'
'Then he has trouble toilet training, a lot of kids do.'
'And you see it as a personal vendetta. This is not good for him.'
'Franklin, pick up the goddamned phone!'
'Pick up the goddamned phone!'
'5, 6, 7, 8... 16, 17, 18, 19, 20,'
'21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27...'
La, la, la We're getting ready for the party
La, la, la-la-la Rah!
Please, please. Oh, please, let me have a drink.
I'm begging you. Please!
Kevin?
Kevin!
Honey?
Are you OK?
I'm sorry, Mom.
Not to worry, sweetheart.
You couldn't help it.
"By my soul," cried Gilbert,
"art thou the Devil in blue to shoot him that wise?"
"Nay, ' quoth Robin, laughing. 'Not quite so ill as that I trust."
"And he took up another shaft..." Are you OK, hon?
"And he took up another shaft and fitted it to the string."
"Again he shot and again he smote the arrow close beside the centre."
"A third time he loosed his bowstring and dropped his arrow"
"just betwixt the other two and into the very centre,"
"so that the feathers of all three were ruffled together,"
"seeming from a distance to be one thick shaft."
"And now a low murmur ran all among that great crowd."
Hey, champ, how you doing? Feeling better?
Go away, I'm tired.
Oh? OK.
Sure thing, buddy. You just get some rest, OK?
Don't stop reading, Mom.
"280 score shafts were shot in all,"
"and so deftly were they sped that when the shooting was done,"
"each target looked like the back of a hedgehog"
"when the farm dog snuffs at it."
[♪ WASHINGTON PHILLIPS: "Mother's Last Word To Her Son"]
I never can forget the day
When my dear mother did sweetly say
"You are leaving, my darling boy"
"You always have been your mother's joy"
Good afternoon, ma'am. I hope this isn't an inconvenient time?
Well, it is, actually.
Well, we just had a couple of quick questions for you.
What's this about?
Do you know where you're spending the afterlife?
Oh, yes, I do, as a matter of fact.
I'm going straight to hell. Eternal damnation. The whole bit.
Thank you for asking. OK?
Honey, let me help you with that.
I can dress myself. Can you leave?
Sure.
Glad you're feeling better. You want some more of that chowder for lunch?
Whatever.
- Or a grilled cheese sandwich? - I don't give a rat's ass.
- Thanks, Dad. This is so cool. - You're welcome, buddy.
All right, here we go. Right in the middle.
Oh, almost! Here, use that one.
Let's try again.
Gotta use your fingers and just keep your eye on the middle.
I never can forget the day
When my dear mother did sweetly say
"You are leaving, my darling boy"
"You always have been your mother's joy"
Now as you leave this world to roam
You may not be able to get back home
But remember Jesus who lives on high
Is watching over you with a mighty eye
The world is so full of old sin and woe
And many sorrows everywhere you go
But remember Jesus...
Good shot, Kev.
You're a natural.
Perfect.
Thanks, Dad.
Saving grace now and you have a burden
He'll make them light and He sure will guide you
All in the right
'All right. It's like this.'
'You wake up and you watch TV.'
'Get in your car, and you listen to the radio.'
'And you go to your little job or your little school, '
'but you're not going to hear about that on the six o'clock news.'
'Why?'
'Because nothing is really happening.'
'Then you go home and you watch some more TV.'
'Or maybe, if it's a fun night, you go out and you watch a movie.'
I mean, it's got so bad that half the time the people on TV,
inside the TV, they're watching TV.
And what are all these people watching? Huh?
People like me.
'I mean, what are all you doing right now but watching me?'
'You don't think they'd have changed the channel by now'
'if all I did was get an A in geometry?'
Once in royal David's city
Stood a lowly cattle shed
Where a mother laid her baby
In a manger for his bed
Mary was that mother mild
Jesus Christ, her little child...
Me and Kevin were playing Christmas kidnapping.
Kevin!
Kevin, you're my friend! You're my friend.
Beat it, Celie. Go get me a soda.
No, not that one, you retard. Get me a root beer.
- Hey! - What?
Thanks, Celie. I was thirsty.
Hey, you wanna know a secret? Come really close.
You know who else is thirsty? You don't?
Ah! Ow, Mommy!
It's the vacuum monster!
Cut it out!
- Hey, troops! - Daddy!
Ho, ho, ho! Look what I got!
- Hey, Kev, give me a hand. - Yeah, sure, Dad.
Oh.
[♪ WHAM!: "Last Christmas"]
Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day, you gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special...
We're gonna be talking about it next Monday!
Wanna dance?
No, thanks, Colin.
Come on. Just one.
I don't dance. Really.
Where do you get off, you stuck-up bitch?
You think anyone else is gonna want you now?
Hmm?
Come on, Eva, stay for another drink.
Eva, come on. Oh, come on.
Come on, dance with me!
- Are you excited? - Yeah.
Can we leave a carrot for the reindeer?
- Yes. We'll see. - Yeah.
- Ah, do - Ah, do
- Ah, do-doo-doo
- Ah, do - Ah, do
- Ah, do...
Kevin!
Didn't I see you at the book store today?
Nope.
Funny, I could've sworn...
By the way, are you doing anything Friday?
Why?
Just thought we might do something together, for fun.
Like do what?
Maybe take you for dinner?
Play a round of miniature golf.
OK.
Why didn't you bring a coat?
You just can't get uncomfortable enough, can you?
Uncomfortable?
With my own mother?
Whenever I see fat people, they're always eating.
Don't give me any of this "slow metabolism", "it's my glands" crap.
It's food. They're fat because they eat the wrong food.
Too much of it and all the time.
You know, you can be kind of harsh sometimes.
You're one to talk.
Yeah, I am.
Wonder where I got it?
Well, you won.
So, what next, Mumsy?
We're gonna go home, you're gonna get changed into something reasonable
and I'm taking you to dinner.
Great.
We're going to dinner.
I was hungry.
I'm a growing boy, you know.
I'll have er...
...calamari salad, er... steak, medium rare,
and a bottle of Merlot.
All right. Be right back with that.
So, how's school going?
It's going.
Do you want my course schedule?
How about your teachers? Are there any who are...?
What bands am I listening to these days, right?
Next, you can wheedle about whether there isn't some cute little cunt
in the front row who's got me itchy.
That way, you can segue into how it's all up to me, of course,
but before balling the chick in the hallway,
I might decide to wait until I'm ready.
Right around dessert, you can ask about drugs.
Real careful, cos you don't want to scare me into lying my head off.
So you have to say how you've experimented.
Then once you've sucked up that entire bottle of wine,
you can go all gooey-eyed and say how nice it is to spend quality time together.
You can scooch over and put your arm around my shoulder,
give it a little squeeze.
[♪THE BEACH BOYS: "In My Room"]
There's a world where I can go
And tell my secrets to
In my room...
In this world I lock out all my worries and my fears
In my room...
Do my dreaming and my scheming
Lie awake and pray
Do my crying and my sighing
Laugh at yesterday...
Fuck.
Your computer's fucked, isn't it?
Yeah, it's fucked, and so are all the ones at work.
I guess I deserved it.
Why would you have something like that?
I collect them.
Isn't that a weird thing to collect?
I don't like stamps.
But what's the point?
There is no point.
That's the point.
No, it really hasn't been any trouble at all.
Everybody's bringing a dish.
Mm-hm.
Oh, that's them now. I gotta go.
OK, you have a great day.
Bye, Mom.
Merry Christmas.
'All right, Kev, you're next.'
Can you guess what it is?
It's a Series-7. The guy in the store said it was the best one.
Gee, Dad. Thank you so much.
- Merry Christmas. - It's perfect.
Sorry.
What did you eat for breakfast?
Raow-raow!
How was your day, Snuffles?
Oh, yeah!
Did you hear that "thunk"?
That's a powerful thing, man.
Celie?
Come on, honey. Time for bed. There we go.
I thought I closed the door.
Kevin says I'm stupid, and he's right.
You're not stupid, honey.
Don't you worry, we'll find him.
Now you scoot down. Come on.
Scoot down.
OK.
You cosy?
- Snuffles? - Snuffles?
Eva... face it.
Mr Snuffles has gone to the big pet store in the sky.
- Don't say that. Don't say that! - Yes, but it's true.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to mourn Mr Snuffles.
Stop it, stop it!
Who was snuffed out... tragically early!
So Daddy and Mommy were looking for him the whole night.
And you know why we couldn't find him?
Because Snuffles has gone to live in the garden.
He's living in the garden now, with a whole bunch of new animal friends.
Celie?
OK, give me the spoon.
So they're having a big party tonight
with the chipmunks and the squirrels, and the raccoons.
And they're eating nuts and berries,
and they're gonna have a whole bunch...
Urgh!
Wh... Why did you leave the drain stuff out?
I didn't. I put it away.
Then how did it get out?
It was Kevin. Kevin did it.
You need to go talk to someone.
So, Kev, erm... Mom had something that she wanted to tell you.
I wanted to...
thank you for calling the ambulance.
Hmm.
And?
And...
...I was concerned that you might be feeling responsible.
Why's that?
Because you were supposed to be looking after her.
We just don't want you to blame yourself.
No, I don't.
I mean, I never said I did.
She's gonna need a glass eye, Kevin.
So we would appreciate you looking out for her.
Any name calling...
You don't really remember being a kid much, do you, Dad?
Celia's just gonna have to suck it up.
I thought you didn't like those.
Yeah, well, they're... What do you call it?
An acquired taste.
Sorry, honey. I'm so sorry.
There you go.
OK.
Thank you, Mommy.
Hey, kiddo. More practice?
Yeah, you know it. Hey, Celie, you want to come collect arrows?
No!
Thanks, sweetie.
So... what do you want to do?
We'll last out the school year if we can, and...
...make arrangements over the summer.
At least custody is a no-brainer.
Is it?
You've decided.
Eva, there's nothing left to decide.
It already happened.
I needed a drink of water.
Hey, Kev.
Listen, buddy, it's easy to misunderstand something
when you hear it out of context.
Why would I not know the context?
I am the context.
You have to appeal. Paying costs is punitive.
- No. - You'll lose your business, your house.
I hate the house. I always have.
Run, bitch! You rot in hell!
- Hey. - Parcel for Kevin Khatcha... dourian?
Dourian, right.
Careful, it's heavy.
- It is? - Yeah.
- You have a nice day. - You too.
What are they for? You never ride your bike.
I got these for a song off the web.
I'm gonna make a bundle selling them at school.
Next Donald Trump, huh?
Come with me. Come with me.
- Whoo! - Yeah.
I'll take you back to my ship.
One, two, three. One, two, three.
One, two, three. One, two, three...
One, two, three! One, two, three...
- Ready for the big dip? - Ah!
One, two, three. One, two, three...
Enchanted to meet you, young lady.
'Did you eat all your cereal?' 'Yes, I did.'
'All right. You can have some toast.'
You're a little clammy. You feeling OK?
Never better.
Hey, only three days to go till you're 16, huh?
We should do something. How about Sunday?
Dunno. Might be tied up.
Clean up some of this mess, and then get dressed and go.
- I don't wanna go to school. - I know.
But Daddy has to take a shower, and we have to go. Say goodbye.
'Franklin? Do you think we could make some time to talk later.'
'Just the two of us without the kids? I really wanna work this thing out.'
Doesn't Kevin go to Gladstone High?
'Franklin. Pick up the goddamned phone!'
'Franklin!'
I'm a mother. I have my son here.
Kevin?
Have you seen Kevin?
Kevin?
Laura!
'Go! Go!'
'Fight! Fight!'
'Win! Win!'
'Go! Fight! Win!'
'Go! Go!'
'Fight! Fight!'
'Win! Win!'
'Go! Fight! Win...'
Franklin?
Celie?
Franklin!
Celie?
[♪LONNIE DONEGAN: "Nobody's Child"]
As I was slowly passing
An orphan's home one day
I stopped for just a little while
To watch the children play
Alone a boy was standing
And when I asked him why
He turned with eyes that could not see
And he began to cry
"I'm nobody's child"
"Just like a flower"
"I'm growing wild"
"I got no mommy's kisses"
"I got no daddy's smile"
Oh, nobody wants me...
You don't look happy.
Have I ever?
I'm almost 18, aren't I?
What is it?
Going to big school making you nervous?
Nervous?
Do you know anything about those places?
Well... you managed it all so well.
Tried as a minor,
out of your head on Prozac.
You'll be out of there in a couple of years.
Know what day it is today?
Why they let me come and see you on a Monday?
Sure.
It's my anniversary.
Two years.
Plenty of time to think about it.
I want you to tell me... why.
I used to think I knew.
Now I'm not so sure.
Your time's up.
[♪ WASHINGTON PHILLIPS: "Mother's Last Word To Her Son")
Now when I think of my mother dear
How often she did, and felt her cheer
My wondering mind was going astray
Was saying, "Son, accept the way..."