1
00:00:51,970 --> 00:00:53,972
(AIRPLANE LANDING)

2
00:00:58,518 --> 00:01:00,311
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

3
00:01:01,229 --> 00:01:03,314
MAN: Hey, Seth Rogen.
What up, man?

4
00:01:03,398 --> 00:01:04,524
(MOUTHING)

5
00:01:06,776 --> 00:01:10,113
WOMAN: Oh, hey, John!
Over here!

6
00:01:10,196 --> 00:01:13,074
<i>MAN OVER PA, Welcome to Los
Angeles International Airport.</i>

7
00:01:13,158 --> 00:01:14,951
<i>Attention, all passengers.</i>

8
00:01:15,034 --> 00:01:16,953
<i>Do not leave your
baggage unattended.</i>

9
00:01:17,036 --> 00:01:19,581
<i>All unattended baggage
is subject to search...</i>

10
00:01:19,664 --> 00:01:21,916
(LAUGHING) Yay!

11
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,793
We're so happy!

12
00:01:23,877 --> 00:01:25,086
Look at this!

13
00:01:25,170 --> 00:01:26,421
What's happening, man?

14
00:01:26,504 --> 00:01:27,797
Good to see you, buddy.

15
00:01:27,881 --> 00:01:29,340
How you doing? I'm good, man.

16
00:01:29,424 --> 00:01:30,425
(LAUGHS) Yes, you are.

17
00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:32,218
How long has it been, man?

18
00:01:32,302 --> 00:01:33,428
Sometime in the last...

19
00:01:33,511 --> 00:01:35,472
Inside of a year or something.
Yeah.

20
00:01:35,555 --> 00:01:37,195
I have the best weekend
ever planned, man.

21
00:01:37,515 --> 00:01:39,684
Lay it on me. Ooh! I
don't want to ruin it.

22
00:01:39,976 --> 00:01:41,496
MAN: Seth Rogen! Shit, here we go.
Hey.

23
00:01:41,561 --> 00:01:42,937
How's it going, man?
Yeah, good.

24
00:01:43,021 --> 00:01:45,774
So, you, Hke, always play, like,
the same guy in every movie.

25
00:01:45,857 --> 00:01:47,567
When are you gonna do some,
like, real acting, man?

26
00:01:47,650 --> 00:01:48,651
Seth: Okay, thank you.

27
00:01:48,735 --> 00:01:50,737
Give me something. Give
me, like, the laugh, man.

28
00:01:50,820 --> 00:01:52,113
Give me the Seth Rogen laugh.

29
00:01:52,197 --> 00:01:54,616
(Seth LAUGHS) Seth
Rogen, everybody.

30
00:01:54,699 --> 00:01:57,952
All right, I've landed. I'm here.
We've said our hellos.

31
00:01:58,036 --> 00:02:01,039
Can we please go to
fucking Carl's Jr.?

32
00:02:01,498 --> 00:02:02,624
(GROANS) on.

33
00:02:02,707 --> 00:02:05,794
I would... I would love to.
I'm on a...

34
00:02:05,877 --> 00:02:07,438
I can't really eat
that stuff right now.

35
00:02:07,504 --> 00:02:08,755
I'm on a, uh... What?

36
00:02:08,838 --> 00:02:09,839
I'm on this cleanse.

37
00:02:09,923 --> 00:02:11,633
You're... You're on a what?

38
00:02:11,716 --> 00:02:12,967
I'm on a cleanse.

39
00:02:13,092 --> 00:02:14,969
(LAUGHING)

40
00:02:15,053 --> 00:02:17,013
What? It's good for you.

41
00:02:17,096 --> 00:02:18,723
I didn't know... You're supposed
to take six shits a day.

42
00:02:18,807 --> 00:02:20,265
That's not true. It is true!

43
00:02:20,266 --> 00:02:21,827
You're supposed to
shit twice a day. No.

44
00:02:21,893 --> 00:02:23,520
That's not true. That's
what they used to think.

45
00:02:23,603 --> 00:02:25,897
Now they know you're supposed
to shit six times a day.

46
00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:28,525
So you're not drinking. You're
not smoking weed. You're not...

47
00:02:28,650 --> 00:02:31,402
No, no, I'm drinking and
smoking weed. But...

48
00:02:31,486 --> 00:02:33,154
I'm on a cleanse.
I'm not psychotic.

49
00:02:33,238 --> 00:02:34,989
Look, man, if you
stopped eating gluten,

50
00:02:35,073 --> 00:02:37,158
you'd feel way fucking
better all day.

51
00:02:37,242 --> 00:02:39,243
Whenever you feel shitty,
that's 'cause of gluten.

52
00:02:39,244 --> 00:02:40,370
That's not true. It is.

53
00:02:40,495 --> 00:02:42,497
Who the fuck told you not to eat gluten?
It's just true.

54
00:02:42,580 --> 00:02:44,165
You don't even know
what gluten is.

55
00:02:44,249 --> 00:02:45,500
I know what fucking gluten is.

56
00:02:45,583 --> 00:02:46,793
No, you have no idea
what gluten is.

57
00:02:46,876 --> 00:02:47,877
I do know what gluten is.

58
00:02:47,961 --> 00:02:49,462
Gluten's a vague term.

59
00:02:49,546 --> 00:02:52,632
It's something that's used to categorize
things that are bad, you know?

60
00:02:52,715 --> 00:02:55,343
Calories, that's a gluten.
Fat, that's a gluten.

61
00:02:55,426 --> 00:02:58,471
Somebodyjust told you you
probably shouldn't eat gluten,

62
00:02:58,555 --> 00:03:00,223
you're like, "Oh, I guess
I shouldn't eat gluten."

63
00:03:00,306 --> 00:03:02,475
Gluten means bad shit, man,
and I'm not eating it.

64
00:03:03,685 --> 00:03:05,019
Mmm!

65
00:03:05,270 --> 00:03:06,437
Mmm-hmm. Oh!

66
00:03:06,521 --> 00:03:07,522
God!

67
00:03:07,814 --> 00:03:10,275
Each bite is better
than the previous bite.

68
00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:11,943
It is. Gluten!

69
00:03:12,527 --> 00:03:13,695
Hey, this looks beautiful.

70
00:03:13,778 --> 00:03:15,196
Yeah. Do you like it?
I totally redid it.

71
00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:16,281
It's fucking awesome.

72
00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:17,574
It's all new. Those are new.

73
00:03:17,699 --> 00:03:19,324
God damn, son! It's
pretty nice, huh?

74
00:03:19,325 --> 00:03:21,578
So this is how the other half lives.
(SETH CHUCKLES)

75
00:03:21,661 --> 00:03:23,371
Come on. Amazing.

76
00:03:23,454 --> 00:03:25,373
Air hockey tables.
Jesus Murphy!

77
00:03:25,456 --> 00:03:27,000
Right? Okay, get ready, Jay.

78
00:03:27,083 --> 00:03:28,042
What?

79
00:03:28,126 --> 00:03:29,168
I have a little
surprise for you.

80
00:03:29,252 --> 00:03:30,211
Okay.

81
00:03:30,295 --> 00:03:32,547
Here's the best weekend you
ever had in your life. Oh!

82
00:03:34,090 --> 00:03:35,216
Look at it, man.

83
00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:36,885
Oh, my... Are you serious?

84
00:03:36,968 --> 00:03:38,135
It's all of your
favorite things.

85
00:03:38,136 --> 00:03:41,556
Starburst and Airheads on a...
Yeah.

86
00:03:41,639 --> 00:03:42,599
And it says "Jay."

87
00:03:42,682 --> 00:03:44,392
In joints. In joints.

88
00:03:44,475 --> 00:03:46,352
It says "Jay" in Jays

89
00:03:47,103 --> 00:03:50,690
Seth Rogen, you are
just the best people.

90
00:03:50,773 --> 00:03:53,151
Come on, I know you don't love it
in LA, so I figure I'll make it...

91
00:03:53,234 --> 00:03:55,653
You know, I'll lube up
your entry a little bit.

92
00:03:55,737 --> 00:03:57,739
It eases the transition.
Yeah, right?

93
00:03:57,822 --> 00:03:59,407
This is the
much-needed foreplay.

94
00:03:59,490 --> 00:04:00,491
You know what else I got?

95
00:04:00,575 --> 00:04:01,743
Yo, this...

96
00:04:01,826 --> 00:04:03,286
A 3-D television.
No, you didn't...

97
00:04:03,369 --> 00:04:05,246
I got a 3-D TV.
Are you serious?

98
00:04:05,330 --> 00:04:06,331
(IMITATES EXPLOSION)

99
00:04:06,456 --> 00:04:08,708
Oh, my God. I did it, man.

100
00:04:08,791 --> 00:04:10,043
What?

101
00:04:10,126 --> 00:04:11,586
Let's get into it.

102
00:04:11,669 --> 00:04:13,379
Oh, my God, bud.

103
00:04:13,463 --> 00:04:14,923
It's Gandalf the Grey's pipe.

104
00:04:15,006 --> 00:04:16,257
Damn, no shit.

105
00:04:16,341 --> 00:04:18,468
(MIMICS Gandalf)
Hello, little hobbit.

106
00:04:18,551 --> 00:04:20,929
Spark my ganja.
(LAUGHING) Yeah.

107
00:04:21,012 --> 00:04:23,222
(LAUGHS DRAMATICALLY)

108
00:04:23,306 --> 00:04:25,683
I'm a well-known
homosexual advocate.

109
00:04:25,767 --> 00:04:27,936
<i>♪ Backstreet's back, all right</i>

110
00:04:32,982 --> 00:04:36,361
<i>♪ Hey, hey, yeah, well</i>

111
00:04:36,819 --> 00:04:38,446
<i>♪ Everybody Rock your body</i>

112
00:04:38,571 --> 00:04:40,990
<i>♪ Everybody a' Everybody</i>

113
00:04:41,074 --> 00:04:43,534
<i>♪ Rook your body right
A“ Rock your body</i>

114
00:04:43,618 --> 00:04:45,453
<i>r everybody!</i>

115
00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:46,955
<i>♪ Backstreet's back... 4'</i>

116
00:04:47,038 --> 00:04:49,290
Seth: Oh, my eyes feel
like they're melting.

117
00:04:49,374 --> 00:04:50,458
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

118
00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:51,960
I need a break.

119
00:04:52,752 --> 00:04:54,045
Oh. You know what, actually?

120
00:04:54,128 --> 00:04:55,964
We should go to
Franco's house soon.

121
00:04:56,047 --> 00:04:57,327
He's having a
housewarming party.

122
00:04:57,382 --> 00:04:58,800
He just finished
building his house.

123
00:04:58,883 --> 00:04:59,884
I haven't even seenityeL

124
00:04:59,968 --> 00:05:01,803
but it's supposed
to be bonkers.

125
00:05:01,886 --> 00:05:03,096
I haven't been in LA
in, like, a year,

126
00:05:03,179 --> 00:05:06,432
and I came here to
chill with you.

127
00:05:06,516 --> 00:05:08,643
We can chill together, and we'll
chill with those other guys.

128
00:05:08,726 --> 00:05:10,645
We'll all chill
as one big unit.

129
00:05:10,728 --> 00:05:12,105
Will I even know
anybody there?

130
00:05:12,188 --> 00:05:13,231
You know James Franco.

131
00:05:13,314 --> 00:05:15,650
James Franco doesn't
even know my name.

132
00:05:15,733 --> 00:05:16,901
Jonah Hill will be there.

133
00:05:16,985 --> 00:05:18,486
Can't stand him.
He can't stand me.

134
00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:21,280
He's, like, the nicest guy in the world!
He likes you so much.

135
00:05:21,364 --> 00:05:23,157
He specifically talks
about how he likes you.

136
00:05:23,241 --> 00:05:24,409
Out of nowhere, he just
said, "You know what?"

137
00:05:24,492 --> 00:05:25,535
"Jay's an inspiration."

138
00:05:25,618 --> 00:05:28,246
There's no way he said that.
Also, just can't stand him.

139
00:05:28,329 --> 00:05:29,914
Okay, fine. Craig Robinson.

140
00:05:29,998 --> 00:05:30,999
Never met him.

141
00:05:31,082 --> 00:05:32,500
He's hilarious.

142
00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:34,627
Sweats a lot, but
he's a great guy.

143
00:05:34,711 --> 00:05:36,254
So it's gonna be fun, man.

144
00:05:36,838 --> 00:05:39,716
For you, I will go.

145
00:05:39,799 --> 00:05:42,343
I promise, I'll stay with
you all night, okay?

146
00:05:42,427 --> 00:05:45,680
I won't ditch you. No, 'cause I
want to be with you all night.

147
00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:47,932
And you know why else?

148
00:05:48,016 --> 00:05:50,351
'Cause nobody puts
Jay in the corner.

149
00:05:50,476 --> 00:05:52,520
<i>(STEP INTO A WORLD PLAYING)</i>

150
00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:02,864
Awesome.

151
00:06:02,947 --> 00:06:03,906
(LAUGHS) WOW!

152
00:06:04,032 --> 00:06:05,658
Jay: Thank you. Thank you.
There you go. Cool.

153
00:06:05,742 --> 00:06:07,243
Thanks a lot, eh?
Thanks a lot.

154
00:06:07,326 --> 00:06:08,369
DRIVER: Okay, man.

155
00:06:08,911 --> 00:06:10,496
(CHUCKLES) Holy shit.

156
00:06:11,205 --> 00:06:12,665
Wow!

157
00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:15,168
This is crazy!

158
00:06:15,251 --> 00:06:17,503
Yeah? Yeah, man, right?

159
00:06:17,587 --> 00:06:19,714
Look at it. A bit much.

160
00:06:19,797 --> 00:06:21,257
I don't think it
is a bit much.

161
00:06:21,340 --> 00:06:22,580
I think it's right
on the money.

162
00:06:22,633 --> 00:06:24,177
What is he, Pablo Escobar?

163
00:06:24,260 --> 00:06:25,511
Come on, man, this is
an awesome street.

164
00:06:25,595 --> 00:06:27,263
Channing Tatum lives up there.

165
00:06:27,346 --> 00:06:29,140
Oh, for the love of... Will
you stop talking about...

166
00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:30,308
This is the sexiest
street in America.

167
00:06:30,391 --> 00:06:31,517
You and Channing Tatum.

168
00:06:31,601 --> 00:06:32,894
I think he's attractive.

169
00:06:34,228 --> 00:06:36,147
I think it's a cool house.
I know you do.

170
00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:37,774
I can't wait to see inside it.

171
00:06:37,857 --> 00:06:39,442
That's why I'm excited.

172
00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:43,237
Ha-ha! Yes! What's up, man?
Seth!

173
00:06:43,321 --> 00:06:45,239
So happy you're here. I'm
so happy to be here.

174
00:06:45,323 --> 00:06:46,574
Hey, Johnny, what's up?

175
00:06:46,657 --> 00:06:48,076
It's Jay. It's Jay.

176
00:06:48,159 --> 00:06:50,536
LWlnever forget it again, man.
Good to see you.

177
00:06:50,620 --> 00:06:52,330
Nice to see you. Come on in.
Yeah! Yeah, great.

178
00:06:52,413 --> 00:06:54,624
James: Check it out.
My new place!

179
00:06:54,707 --> 00:06:56,459
Seth: Awesome, man!

180
00:06:56,542 --> 00:06:57,668
Designed it myself.

181
00:06:57,752 --> 00:07:00,505
Really cool. This place
is beautiful, man.

182
00:07:00,588 --> 00:07:02,590
This place is like
a piece of me.

183
00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:04,759
You two just
stepped inside me.

184
00:07:05,301 --> 00:07:07,929
You let us both cum inside you.
Yeah.

185
00:07:08,012 --> 00:07:10,723
Icing on the cake.
Check it out.

186
00:07:11,474 --> 00:07:12,517
Painted them myself.

187
00:07:12,934 --> 00:07:13,935
Huh.

188
00:07:14,018 --> 00:07:15,937
Side by side. A team.

189
00:07:16,020 --> 00:07:17,021
(LAUGHS) Holy shit.

190
00:07:17,522 --> 00:07:19,232
So, is it weird?

191
00:07:19,315 --> 00:07:21,275
No. You sure?

192
00:07:21,359 --> 00:07:23,027
I really like it.

193
00:07:23,111 --> 00:07:24,237
What do you think, Jay?

194
00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:26,447
I'm not a big art guy.

195
00:07:26,531 --> 00:07:27,782
You don't like art?

196
00:07:27,865 --> 00:07:29,742
Well, come on...

197
00:07:29,826 --> 00:07:31,744
You play video games? Yes.

198
00:07:31,828 --> 00:07:33,871
Well, guess what, buddy?
You like art.

199
00:07:33,955 --> 00:07:34,956
Yep.

200
00:07:35,039 --> 00:07:36,165
You ever been to Subway?

201
00:07:36,249 --> 00:07:37,291
Yes.

202
00:07:37,375 --> 00:07:38,751
You order a sandwich?

203
00:07:38,835 --> 00:07:40,962
Somebody put that together for you, dude.
That's art.

204
00:07:41,045 --> 00:07:42,130
Sandwich artist.

205
00:07:42,213 --> 00:07:43,453
So, let me lay
this on you, Jay.

206
00:07:43,506 --> 00:07:44,507
Oh, fuck.

207
00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:45,882
Your mama's pussy
was the canvas.

208
00:07:45,883 --> 00:07:47,635
Your Dad's dick was
the paintbrush.

209
00:07:47,718 --> 00:07:49,720
Boom. You're the art. Huh?

210
00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:52,223
Thanks, James Franco.
You got it.

211
00:07:52,306 --> 00:07:53,808
Seth! Mindy, hello.

212
00:07:53,891 --> 00:07:55,476
Oh, my God, great to see you.
Oh, you, too.

213
00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:56,811
Long time. How's it going?

214
00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:59,147
You know Jay? I don't think
I've ever actually met you.

215
00:07:59,230 --> 00:08:00,898
<i>You were so good in
Million Dollar Baby.</i>

216
00:08:00,982 --> 00:08:02,984
That's amazing. Thank you
so much for saying that.

217
00:08:03,067 --> 00:08:04,987
Oh, my God, if I don't
fuck Michael Cera tonight,

218
00:08:05,111 --> 00:08:07,071
I'm gonna blow my brains out.
What?

219
00:08:07,155 --> 00:08:09,365
Fucking pale, 110 pounds,

220
00:08:09,448 --> 00:08:12,910
hairless, probably has a huge
cock, coked out of his mind...

221
00:08:12,994 --> 00:08:15,246
You can do a lot better.
That's just trouble.

222
00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:18,875
So, Ri-Ri, how about you, you
ever see a psychiatrist?

223
00:08:18,958 --> 00:08:20,168
Um...

224
00:08:21,794 --> 00:08:23,504
(GRUNTS)

225
00:08:23,588 --> 00:08:25,256
Jason: That's not cool.
Don't touch my butt, bitch.

226
00:08:25,381 --> 00:08:27,425
Michael, that's not cool. Would
you shut the fuck up, Jason!

227
00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:29,385
We're playing a game, man.

228
00:08:29,844 --> 00:08:31,637
Say cheese, baby.

229
00:08:33,014 --> 00:08:34,432
What's up, buddy?
How's it going, dude?

230
00:08:34,515 --> 00:08:35,725
Good to see you, man.

231
00:08:35,808 --> 00:08:37,351
Is that Jay Baruchel?
Hi, there. Hey.

232
00:08:37,435 --> 00:08:38,602
Oh, my God, get in here, dude.

233
00:08:38,603 --> 00:08:40,270
How's it going, Jonah?
What are you doing?

234
00:08:40,271 --> 00:08:42,523
Good. How you doing, buddy?
Oh, my gosh.

235
00:08:42,607 --> 00:08:44,650
Welcome back. Thank
you very much.

236
00:08:44,734 --> 00:08:46,611
When'd you get in?
Uh, this morning,

237
00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:48,529
and boy, are my arms tired.

238
00:08:48,613 --> 00:08:50,031
(LAUGHS)

239
00:08:50,114 --> 00:08:51,324
Dude, that's great.

240
00:08:51,407 --> 00:08:52,408
Thank you. Jonah: Sick.

241
00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:53,993
What have you guys been doing?

242
00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:55,912
Oh, we just hung out all day.

243
00:08:55,995 --> 00:08:59,916
Ate a bunch of dirty burgers, and
smoked about a fucking pound of weed

244
00:08:59,999 --> 00:09:01,417
and played a bunch
of video games.

245
00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:03,711
Weed is tight. Weed is tight.
That's awesome.

246
00:09:03,794 --> 00:09:05,034
That's awesome.
Weed is awesome.

247
00:09:05,087 --> 00:09:07,423
It was like the golfing
sequence in Navy <i>SEALs.</i>

248
00:09:07,506 --> 00:09:09,550
Sick reference, though, bro.
Oh, thanks, bud.

249
00:09:09,634 --> 00:09:11,802
Dude, your references are out of control.
Everyone knows that.

250
00:09:11,886 --> 00:09:13,471
Hey, thanks, man. I'm jealous.

251
00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:15,848
I would have been
there in a heartbeat,

252
00:09:15,932 --> 00:09:19,227
but, uh, I actually just adopted
this incontinent spaniel.

253
00:09:19,310 --> 00:09:20,477
She's a really beautiful soul.

254
00:09:20,478 --> 00:09:22,104
Her name's Ahjhai. Ahjhai?

255
00:09:22,188 --> 00:09:23,231
Yeah. How do you spell it?

256
00:09:23,314 --> 00:09:24,857
A-H-J-H-A-I.

257
00:09:24,941 --> 00:09:26,067
A-H...

258
00:09:26,150 --> 00:09:27,109
You want to see a
picture of her?

259
00:09:27,193 --> 00:09:29,237
Oh, she's so sweet. Hey!

260
00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:30,571
Look at her. Seth: Aw!

261
00:09:30,655 --> 00:09:32,335
She can't bark. She
doesn't know how, so...

262
00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:33,491
She doesn't know
how to bark, even?

263
00:09:33,574 --> 00:09:34,575
She doesn't know how to bark,

264
00:09:34,659 --> 00:09:36,244
so I've tried to teach her

265
00:09:36,327 --> 00:09:38,496
and she just kind of
screams, and so she was up,

266
00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:41,249
had her face smushed against
the cage, and was, like...

267
00:09:41,332 --> 00:09:42,541
(YELLING) Ah!

268
00:09:43,459 --> 00:09:44,835
Yeah, cool. Um...

269
00:09:45,503 --> 00:09:47,797
Tell you what, boys,
I'm kind ofjonesing,

270
00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:51,259
so I'm gonna find someone loan bum
a smoke off of outside, all right?

271
00:09:51,342 --> 00:09:53,094
That's tight, dude.
Honestly, I like you.

272
00:09:53,177 --> 00:09:54,178
Hey, likewise.

273
00:09:54,262 --> 00:09:55,680
Seth: Okay, dude, come back.

274
00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:58,599
I'll be right back. You're holding court.
All right, boys.

275
00:09:58,891 --> 00:10:01,894
Dude. I know. I think we're
making some progress.

276
00:10:01,978 --> 00:10:02,937
That was really good.

277
00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:04,396
And honestly, he's
your old friend.

278
00:10:04,397 --> 00:10:05,773
We're your new friends.
He feels threatened.

279
00:10:05,856 --> 00:10:06,857
Yeah, man.

280
00:10:06,941 --> 00:10:08,609
You know, and I get it.

281
00:10:08,693 --> 00:10:09,652
It's gonna be fine.

282
00:10:09,735 --> 00:10:11,152
I honestly think
tonight's the night

283
00:10:11,153 --> 00:10:12,353
we bust this whole thing open.

284
00:10:12,405 --> 00:10:15,574
And I'm lucky. It's the
same thing a lot, though.

285
00:10:15,658 --> 00:10:17,285
It's, like, my TV
wife opensthefﬂdge,

286
00:10:17,368 --> 00:10:20,204
andis, Hke, "What happened
to the birthday cake?"

287
00:10:20,288 --> 00:10:22,957
And I come outwith, like,
a little frosting, like,

288
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:24,401
(GOOFY VOICE) "What
birthday cake?"

289
00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:26,043
'Cause you ate the cake! Yeah.

290
00:10:26,127 --> 00:10:27,336
'Cause you ate the cake!

291
00:10:27,420 --> 00:10:28,629
"It's my birthday."

292
00:10:28,713 --> 00:10:30,381
(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)

293
00:10:30,464 --> 00:10:33,050
That's why y'all number one.
'Cause of that.

294
00:10:33,384 --> 00:10:34,427
You're Jay, right? Yeah.

295
00:10:34,510 --> 00:10:35,511
Seth's boy? Yeah.

296
00:10:35,594 --> 00:10:36,887
How you doing, man?
Good to see you.

297
00:10:36,971 --> 00:10:38,096
Good. Likewise, likewise.

298
00:10:38,097 --> 00:10:40,099
I'm Craig, man. This is Emma.
Hi. Hi, there.

299
00:10:40,391 --> 00:10:41,809
You just in town
visiting him, or what?

300
00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:45,021
Yeah. Just for a little
visit, you know.

301
00:10:45,104 --> 00:10:47,106
I try to not come
down here very much.

302
00:10:47,189 --> 00:10:48,482
I don't really love it here.

303
00:10:48,566 --> 00:10:49,525
You don't like LA?

304
00:10:49,608 --> 00:10:53,404
I'm just not really
into the LA lifestyle.

305
00:10:53,904 --> 00:10:55,197
What lifestyle are you into?

306
00:10:55,281 --> 00:10:57,783
Look at him. He's, like,
a hipster, right?

307
00:10:57,867 --> 00:11:00,453
No, I'm not a hipster, at all.

308
00:11:00,536 --> 00:11:03,122
Yeah, yeah, you do seem
to hate a lot of things,

309
00:11:03,205 --> 00:11:04,874
and the bottom of your
pants are awful tight.

310
00:11:04,957 --> 00:11:08,794
No, I just... I don't like Los Angeles.
It doesn't make me a hipster.

311
00:11:08,878 --> 00:11:11,130
I'll bet you hate movies
that are universally loved.

312
00:11:11,213 --> 00:11:12,214
I don't even...

313
00:11:12,298 --> 00:11:13,341
<i>You like Forrest Gump?</i>

314
00:11:13,424 --> 00:11:16,010
No, no, it's a horrendous
piece of shit.

315
00:11:16,093 --> 00:11:18,179
"Life is like a box
of chocolates," no?

316
00:11:18,262 --> 00:11:19,764
Yeah, no, I'm
familiar with it.

317
00:11:20,848 --> 00:11:23,059
"You never know what
you're gonna get."

318
00:11:24,268 --> 00:11:26,979
<i>Why don't we do</i> a <i>sequel
</i> to <i>Pineapple Express?</i>

319
00:11:27,063 --> 00:11:28,439
I would <i>love</i> to <i>do</i> a
<i>sequel to Pineapple.</i>

320
00:11:28,522 --> 00:11:29,606
Do you have any ideas, or...

321
00:11:29,607 --> 00:11:31,192
I do have an idea. What?

322
00:11:31,275 --> 00:11:34,487
It's that Red, Danny, has
become, like, the drug lord,

323
00:11:34,570 --> 00:11:36,530
you know, since we
killed the other one,

324
00:11:36,614 --> 00:11:38,699
and he wants to assassinate
Woody Harrelson,

325
00:11:38,783 --> 00:11:41,744
'cause he's gonna give a speech
that makes all of weed legal,

326
00:11:41,827 --> 00:11:44,205
effectively rendering drug
lords out of business.

327
00:11:44,330 --> 00:11:46,123
Awesome. Yeah, it's
fucking awesome,

328
00:11:46,207 --> 00:11:48,793
but we don't have... We don't
know how it should end yet.

329
00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:50,169
I... I know.

330
00:11:50,294 --> 00:11:52,880
Danny's trying to kill us. Yeah.

331
00:11:52,963 --> 00:11:55,549
And I sacrifice
myself for you.

332
00:11:55,633 --> 00:11:58,094
And he kills me,

333
00:11:58,177 --> 00:11:59,470
and I die for you.

334
00:12:00,096 --> 00:12:03,182
And Danny fucking eats me.
(LAUGHS)

335
00:12:03,307 --> 00:12:05,142
Why does he eatyou?
I don't know.

336
00:12:05,226 --> 00:12:07,770
I'm just trying to think of,
like, the nastiest way to go.

337
00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:10,231
(LAUGHS) Yeah, he could eat you.
Okay. That's a good idea, man.

338
00:12:10,314 --> 00:12:12,608
He's just out of his mind.
He just, like, eats me.

339
00:12:13,067 --> 00:12:14,276
Hey, Chris. How's it going?

340
00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:16,320
Hey, does this coke smell funny?
Ooh!

341
00:12:16,404 --> 00:12:18,322
Fuck! Michael, what
the fuck, man?

342
00:12:18,406 --> 00:12:19,949
That's expensive
shit, motherfucker!

343
00:12:20,032 --> 00:12:21,117
What are you doing?

344
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,600
I've never fucking done cocaine, dude.
Why does it fucking...

345
00:12:23,661 --> 00:12:25,579
Well, you did the best shit
possible for your first time,

346
00:12:25,663 --> 00:12:26,664
'cause that's good fucking...

347
00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:27,997
Fuck, fuck, fuck,
I'm nervous, dude.

348
00:12:27,998 --> 00:12:29,375
I don't know what... What
is wrong with you, man?

349
00:12:29,458 --> 00:12:30,501
Look, he's freaking out.
Oh, shit.

350
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:32,044
I've never done this
fucking drug before, man.

351
00:12:32,128 --> 00:12:33,129
Mike, please.

352
00:12:33,212 --> 00:12:34,839
I'll walk you through it. I
will walk you through it.

353
00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:36,632
Mike, no one...
I'll be your guide.

354
00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:38,342
You're fine, Chris. You're fine.
Is it on...

355
00:12:38,426 --> 00:12:39,510
You got some in your
mustache, baby.

356
00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:40,636
What are you... Michael!

357
00:12:41,095 --> 00:12:42,930
(PLAYING PIANO) Now, fellas, I
want you to real sexy right now.

358
00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:45,099
We're gonna sing
to all the ladies.

359
00:12:45,182 --> 00:12:48,602
All the fellas go like this,
in your Barry White voice.

360
00:12:48,686 --> 00:12:50,354
<i>I Take your panties off.</i>

361
00:12:50,438 --> 00:12:52,022
<i>MEN: A' Take your panties off.</i>

362
00:12:52,106 --> 00:12:53,691
<i>Craig: ♪ Take your panties off</i>

363
00:12:54,150 --> 00:12:55,609
<i>MEN: A' Take your panties off.</i>

364
00:12:55,693 --> 00:12:58,946
Craig: <i>J' Come on, Rihanna
Take your panties off for me</i>

365
00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:01,991
<i>♪ Come on, Craig, can
you fuck off for me? I</i>

366
00:13:02,074 --> 00:13:03,409
(CHEERING)

367
00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:06,662
I'll do one of them things.
(LAUGHTER)

368
00:13:07,288 --> 00:13:08,539
James: Like an angel.

369
00:13:08,622 --> 00:13:10,291
What about the
host of the party?

370
00:13:10,374 --> 00:13:12,042
<i>♪ I ain't got no panties on</i>

371
00:13:12,668 --> 00:13:14,795
<i>♪ He ain't got no
panties, everybody!</i>

372
00:13:14,879 --> 00:13:16,589
<i>♪ We ain't got no panties on</i>

373
00:13:16,714 --> 00:13:18,382
<i>♪ We ain't got no
panties on (LAUGHTER)</i>

374
00:13:18,466 --> 00:13:20,134
<i>♪ We ain't got no panties on</i>

375
00:13:20,217 --> 00:13:22,428
<i>♪ We ain't got no panties on</i>

376
00:13:23,762 --> 00:13:25,514
<i>♪ Ain't nobody got
no panties on</i>

377
00:13:25,598 --> 00:13:27,057
<i>♪ We ain't got no panties on</i>

378
00:13:27,141 --> 00:13:28,517
<i>♪ Ain't no party like
a no-panty party</i>

379
00:13:28,601 --> 00:13:30,001
<i>♪ 'Cause a no-panty
party don't stop</i>

380
00:13:30,519 --> 00:13:32,188
<i>"James". 4“ Fuck
those panties.</i>

381
00:13:32,271 --> 00:13:33,772
<i>ALL: A' Fuck those...</i>

382
00:13:33,856 --> 00:13:35,774
James: <i>(DISTANTLY) ♪
Fuck those panties</i>

383
00:13:35,858 --> 00:13:37,359
<i>ALL: A' Fuck those panties.</i>

384
00:13:37,443 --> 00:13:38,944
<i>"James". 4“ Fuck
those panties a'.</i>

385
00:13:39,028 --> 00:13:40,279
What's not kid-friendly?

386
00:13:40,404 --> 00:13:41,822
There's a lot of sharp edges.
Concrete, sharp edges.

387
00:13:41,906 --> 00:13:43,657
David: He's gonna bust his head
open on one of those things.

388
00:13:43,741 --> 00:13:45,867
A kid could fall off this
fucking railing right here.

389
00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:47,620
That's why you have the
railing, so they don't fall.

390
00:13:47,745 --> 00:13:49,663
Hey. Sorry. I want to
have kids one day.

391
00:13:49,747 --> 00:13:52,374
Hey, Jay. Oh, hey, hi, Jonah.

392
00:13:52,458 --> 00:13:54,460
Is there any place around here I
can buy a pack of cigarettes?

393
00:13:54,543 --> 00:13:55,586
Yeah.

394
00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:57,910
There's a place like, it's
like, four blocks away, maybe.

395
00:13:57,963 --> 00:13:59,340
You want to come with me?

396
00:13:59,423 --> 00:14:01,383
Give me this much time.
That much joint time.

397
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:03,886
(WOMAN GASPS) Oh!

398
00:14:03,969 --> 00:14:05,763
Jesus! Hey, Jay.

399
00:14:06,222 --> 00:14:08,265
Hey, you need to use the toilet, honey?
Go ahead.

400
00:14:08,933 --> 00:14:10,768
Nope, I'm... lsorry.

401
00:14:11,101 --> 00:14:13,354
Who wants a sip? Sip time.

402
00:14:13,938 --> 00:14:15,439
(SIPPING) (JAY GROANS)

403
00:14:25,533 --> 00:14:26,617
You okay, man?

404
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,369
It's nothing. It's
just, you know,

405
00:14:28,452 --> 00:14:31,580
as soon as we got there, you did
what you said you wouldn't do.

406
00:14:31,664 --> 00:14:33,958
What did I do? You just
fucking ditched my ass.

407
00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:36,835
I didn't ditch you. Are
you kidding me, man?

408
00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:38,128
I did not ditch you.

409
00:14:38,212 --> 00:14:41,549
I was talking to Jonah, and then
you left to go have a cigarette.

410
00:14:41,632 --> 00:14:44,718
Well, you know, my
cigarette was an excuse.

411
00:14:44,802 --> 00:14:46,887
I really went outside 'cause
Jonah was being a prick.

412
00:14:46,971 --> 00:14:48,639
Jonah was not being a prick.

413
00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:50,224
If anything, you were
kind of being a prick.

414
00:14:50,307 --> 00:14:51,892
Jonah's the nicest
guy ever, man.

415
00:14:51,976 --> 00:14:54,687
Oh, my God, that's a
thin veneer of kindness.

416
00:14:54,770 --> 00:14:55,771
Nobody's that nice.

417
00:14:55,854 --> 00:14:56,939
Jonah is that nice.

418
00:14:57,022 --> 00:14:58,566
Serial killers are that nice.

419
00:14:58,649 --> 00:15:00,568
Just answer me one question.

420
00:15:00,651 --> 00:15:02,903
Is Michael Cera's butthole
as adorable as I pictured?

421
00:15:02,987 --> 00:15:04,238
Oh, for fuck's sake.

422
00:15:04,321 --> 00:15:06,365
I picture it looking
like a little donut,

423
00:15:06,448 --> 00:15:08,033
like a little pink
sprinkled donut.

424
00:15:08,492 --> 00:15:10,077
Oh, it's so bright in here.

425
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:11,745
It is fucking bright.

426
00:15:11,829 --> 00:15:13,581
Oh, I'm so high.

427
00:15:13,664 --> 00:15:17,126
There's so many delicious choices.
What do I do?

428
00:15:17,209 --> 00:15:19,086
I'm gonna get something to drink.
Okay.

429
00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:20,921
Excuse me, would
it be possible

430
00:15:21,005 --> 00:15:22,445
for my daughter to
use your restroom?

431
00:15:22,506 --> 00:15:23,966
She's really got to go.

432
00:15:24,049 --> 00:15:26,427
Read the sign. Customers only.

433
00:15:26,510 --> 00:15:27,511
Seriously?

434
00:15:27,595 --> 00:15:30,222
Why the fuck you think
I put up the sign?

435
00:15:30,306 --> 00:15:32,099
DAUGHTER: It's okay, Dad.
I can hold it.

436
00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:34,685
FATHER: Let's just buy
something for your mother.

437
00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:37,313
CASHIER: Yeah, well, I
guess you better, huh?

438
00:15:37,396 --> 00:15:39,148
This cash register
lady is mean.

439
00:15:39,231 --> 00:15:40,941
I have anxiety. Will
you buy this for me?

440
00:15:41,025 --> 00:15:42,484
When I'm stoned,
I can't do this.

441
00:15:42,568 --> 00:15:44,778
I think I'm just gonna
head back to your place.

442
00:15:44,862 --> 00:15:47,740
I'm not really liking it very
much over there at Franco's.

443
00:15:47,823 --> 00:15:50,242
Dude, I want you to get to know these guys.
That's never gonna happen

444
00:15:50,326 --> 00:15:53,245
if you don't put in any
effort whatsoever, okay?

445
00:15:53,329 --> 00:15:54,872
I hate it in there.

446
00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:57,541
I just want to drink some
pop and smoke some weed.

447
00:15:57,916 --> 00:15:59,396
(EXPLOSION THUNDERING)
(ALL SCREAMING)

448
00:15:59,501 --> 00:16:00,544
(GRUNTS)

449
00:16:02,421 --> 00:16:04,214
(GASPING)

450
00:16:05,924 --> 00:16:07,217
(SCREAMING INDISTINCTLY)

451
00:16:08,719 --> 00:16:10,471
(WOMAN SCREAMS)

452
00:16:15,476 --> 00:16:16,727
What about...

453
00:16:19,396 --> 00:16:21,148
What about me?

454
00:16:29,198 --> 00:16:30,199
(SETH SCREAMS)

455
00:16:32,034 --> 00:16:33,911
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

456
00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:43,170
(PANTING NERVOUSLY)

457
00:16:46,423 --> 00:16:47,925
Are you okay? Are you okay?

458
00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:49,385
Did you just see that?

459
00:16:49,468 --> 00:16:50,803
What the hell?

460
00:16:52,179 --> 00:16:54,973
Oh, my God, Jesus, Jesus!
Run, run, run!

461
00:16:56,225 --> 00:16:58,018
This way! Qkav, okay, okay!

462
00:16:58,102 --> 00:16:59,144
(CAR ALARMS BLARING)
(BOTH SCREAMING)

463
00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:00,729
(TIRES SCREECHING)

464
00:17:03,107 --> 00:17:04,858
Oh, my God! Oh, oh...

465
00:17:04,942 --> 00:17:06,193
(CAR HORN HONKS) Oh, Jesus.

466
00:17:06,694 --> 00:17:07,695
(MAN SCREAMS)

467
00:17:07,778 --> 00:17:08,862
Run!

468
00:17:08,946 --> 00:17:10,280
Jesus Christ!

469
00:17:10,656 --> 00:17:13,575
Why the fuck did you
bring me down here?

470
00:17:13,659 --> 00:17:14,660
(SCREAMS)

471
00:17:15,786 --> 00:17:17,871
The fuck, Seth? I don't
know what's happening!

472
00:17:17,955 --> 00:17:19,081
(HORN HONKS)

473
00:17:19,164 --> 00:17:21,041
We're going back to Franco's.
Why?

474
00:17:21,834 --> 00:17:24,044
Seth: Just run! Keep running!

475
00:17:24,128 --> 00:17:25,379
Jay: Oh, my fuck!

476
00:17:25,462 --> 00:17:26,964
(BOTH YELL)

477
00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:29,216
We are going back to Franco's!

478
00:17:29,299 --> 00:17:30,342
Oh, God damn it.

479
00:17:30,843 --> 00:17:31,885
(SIRENS WAILING) (CAR HONKING)

480
00:17:31,969 --> 00:17:33,470
Jesus! Oh, shit!

481
00:17:34,346 --> 00:17:37,516
This way. We're almost there!
We're so close!

482
00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:39,351
(RETRO MUSIC PLAYING)

483
00:17:39,435 --> 00:17:41,145
(BOTH PANTING)

484
00:17:42,813 --> 00:17:43,814
Hey, you guys okay?

485
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:44,982
Are you guys Okay?

486
00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:47,901
There was a crazy earthquake.
Did you guys feel that?

487
00:17:47,985 --> 00:17:49,403
That was insane. Fuck, no.

488
00:17:49,486 --> 00:17:50,487
We can't feel
anything in here.

489
00:17:50,571 --> 00:17:52,239
This place is a
fucking fortress.

490
00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:54,074
That wasn't an
earthquake, man.

491
00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:55,784
That was something way
fucking crazier. No...

492
00:17:55,868 --> 00:17:56,869
What's crazier than
an earthquake?

493
00:17:56,952 --> 00:18:00,414
There were beams of Blue
light coming out of the sky

494
00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:03,000
and people getting
sucked up into the sky.

495
00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:05,294
He's on hallucinogens.
(ALL LAUGHING)

496
00:18:05,377 --> 00:18:09,089
Come on, guys. Don't bully Jay.
He's a sweetheart.

497
00:18:09,173 --> 00:18:10,424
Keep going, man. What
are you talking about?

498
00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:11,759
(PANTING)

499
00:18:11,842 --> 00:18:14,094
There were people,
and they were there,

500
00:18:14,178 --> 00:18:16,764
and they got sucked
up into the sky.

501
00:18:16,847 --> 00:18:18,640
Seth: Jay. Sucked
up into the sky?

502
00:18:18,724 --> 00:18:20,267
Nobody got sucked up in here.

503
00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:22,352
I got sucked off here.

504
00:18:22,853 --> 00:18:24,146
(LAUGHTER)

505
00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:27,816
No, okay, ask Seth. He was...

506
00:18:27,900 --> 00:18:28,984
You were there. Tell them.

507
00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:31,487
Seth, what the fuck's
he talking about?

508
00:18:33,155 --> 00:18:34,156
(CHUCKLES)

509
00:18:34,239 --> 00:18:37,159
I have no idea what he's
talking about honestly.

510
00:18:37,242 --> 00:18:39,995
Did anybody get sucked
up into the sky?

511
00:18:40,078 --> 00:18:41,204
Seth: I didn't see anything.

512
00:18:41,205 --> 00:18:42,645
I don't know what
he's talking about.

513
00:18:42,706 --> 00:18:44,291
Jay: You were there with me.
What are you saying?

514
00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:47,418
All those people that were in the store
with us, they just fucking vanished.

515
00:18:47,419 --> 00:18:49,171
I didn't see Blue light
sucking people up in the sky.

516
00:18:49,254 --> 00:18:51,632
You sound crazy, man. We
should just be lucky we're...

517
00:18:51,715 --> 00:18:52,758
It's not over! (RUMBLING)

518
00:18:52,841 --> 00:18:54,009
Seth: It's okay. Just relax.

519
00:18:54,426 --> 00:18:58,639
Everyone, it's all right. Just a little tremor.
Party's still going.

520
00:18:58,722 --> 00:19:00,808
In-N-Out truck's
coming in 10 minutes.

521
00:19:00,891 --> 00:19:01,892
(ALL CHEERING)

522
00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:03,852
MAN: Yes. James: Animal style!

523
00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:05,604
Oh, my fuck! (ALL SCREAMING)

524
00:19:05,729 --> 00:19:07,523
MAN: Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
WOMAN: Move! Move!

525
00:19:07,606 --> 00:19:09,817
Move, move, move, move!
This place is safe!

526
00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:11,652
Kevin: This place is not safe!

527
00:19:11,735 --> 00:19:12,986
Craig, where you going, man?

528
00:19:13,070 --> 00:19:14,863
It's a fucking eaﬂhquake! Fuck!

529
00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:16,782
Move, move, move, come on! Get
out of my way. Move, girl!

530
00:19:16,907 --> 00:19:19,076
James: Oh, my God, Seth!
Seth: Oh, shit!

531
00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:20,577
James: Seth. What the fuck?

532
00:19:20,661 --> 00:19:23,997
James: Don't go on the grass,
not everybody on the grass!

533
00:19:24,081 --> 00:19:25,415
(CROWD MURMURING)

534
00:19:34,508 --> 00:19:36,051
What the fuck?

535
00:19:36,134 --> 00:19:37,635
Oh, God!

536
00:19:37,636 --> 00:19:39,221
What the fuck is happening?
Paul!

537
00:19:39,304 --> 00:19:40,722
What's happening?

538
00:19:40,806 --> 00:19:43,517
All right, everybody, listen up.
Listen up.

539
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,270
Who took my fucking
cell phone, man?

540
00:19:46,353 --> 00:19:48,939
Martin, empty your pockets!
What?

541
00:19:49,022 --> 00:19:51,441
I saw you in the bathroom, man!
Somebody dial my phone!

542
00:19:51,525 --> 00:19:53,360
Shut the fuck up!
It's unbelievable!

543
00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:56,738
It's unacceptable after all the
coke I've wasted on you people.

544
00:19:56,822 --> 00:19:57,865
I've thrown it away.

545
00:19:57,948 --> 00:19:59,282
I didn't take your
fucking cell phone.

546
00:19:59,283 --> 00:20:02,452
310... Whoa, whoa, whoa! Mike,
Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike...

547
00:20:03,078 --> 00:20:04,079
(CROWD GASPING)

548
00:20:04,162 --> 00:20:05,455
My face!

549
00:20:05,539 --> 00:20:07,749
What's happening to me?
What's happening?

550
00:20:07,833 --> 00:20:09,209
Oh, my God!

551
00:20:09,293 --> 00:20:10,377
(SCREAMING)

552
00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:11,962
(CROWD EXCLAIMING)

553
00:20:20,345 --> 00:20:22,055
(RING-TONE PLAYING)

554
00:20:22,139 --> 00:20:23,932
Oh, shit, that's embarrassing.

555
00:20:24,516 --> 00:20:25,642
(CROWD SCREAMING)

556
00:20:37,863 --> 00:20:39,364
(SCREAMING)

557
00:20:42,326 --> 00:20:43,327
James: Rihanna!

558
00:20:43,702 --> 00:20:45,370
(ALL SCREAMING)

559
00:20:49,875 --> 00:20:51,001
(GRUNTING)

560
00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:52,127
Please give me your foot!

561
00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:53,587
Oh, my God!

562
00:20:56,506 --> 00:20:58,216
Craig, Craig, help me.
I'm losing my grip!

563
00:20:58,300 --> 00:20:59,635
It's too late for you!
You're already in the hole!

564
00:20:59,718 --> 00:21:00,761
What the fuck are
you talking about?

565
00:21:00,844 --> 00:21:01,887
Craig: Get the fuck
out of my way!

566
00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:03,305
(CROWD SCREAMS)

567
00:21:04,556 --> 00:21:05,849
Oh!

568
00:21:05,933 --> 00:21:06,934
Sorry.

569
00:21:07,142 --> 00:21:08,185
(SCREAMING)

570
00:21:08,268 --> 00:21:09,603
Karen!

571
00:21:09,686 --> 00:21:12,356
Seth, come on! Get in the house!
Come on, Seth!

572
00:21:15,525 --> 00:21:16,526
(SCREAMING)

573
00:21:16,610 --> 00:21:18,695
Oh, my God, I'm gonna die!

574
00:21:19,071 --> 00:21:20,113
(GRUNTS)

575
00:21:20,781 --> 00:21:22,157
Martin!

576
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:24,451
Oh, shit! Kevin! Kevin!

577
00:21:24,534 --> 00:21:25,577
What the fuck?

578
00:21:25,661 --> 00:21:27,329
Geez, get the fuck
off me, Aziz!

579
00:21:27,579 --> 00:21:29,665
Ow, ow, ow!

580
00:21:30,290 --> 00:21:31,291
(SCREAMING)

581
00:21:31,375 --> 00:21:34,002
Fuck you, Kevin! (SCREAMING)

582
00:21:34,086 --> 00:21:36,296
Oh, God, no, get your
fucking hands off me!

583
00:21:36,380 --> 00:21:37,631
Get your fucking...

584
00:21:37,714 --> 00:21:39,383
(SCREAMS)

585
00:21:41,259 --> 00:21:42,594
(SHOUTING)

586
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:45,722
(MAN SCREAMS)

587
00:21:49,309 --> 00:21:51,311
No! (SCREAMS)

588
00:21:51,395 --> 00:21:53,480
Jay, I can't hold
on much longer.

589
00:21:53,563 --> 00:21:56,483
You have to reach out and grab me.
You hear?

590
00:21:56,566 --> 00:22:00,278
Okay, uh, you take my hand,
and I will swing you up.

591
00:22:00,362 --> 00:22:01,989
Are you sure? I'm gonna
give you my whole weight.

592
00:22:02,114 --> 00:22:03,490
I'm gonna reach for you, all right?
Yeah, yeah.

593
00:22:03,573 --> 00:22:05,325
Are you sure you can do that?

594
00:22:05,409 --> 00:22:06,660
I can grab you on three.

595
00:22:06,743 --> 00:22:08,328
One, two, three.

596
00:22:08,412 --> 00:22:09,413
(BOTH GRUNTING)

597
00:22:10,288 --> 00:22:11,498
(LAUGHS)

598
00:22:11,581 --> 00:22:12,582
All right, buddy.

599
00:22:12,666 --> 00:22:14,668
Now I'm gonna, I'm
gonna swing across.

600
00:22:14,751 --> 00:22:15,794
I got you, buddy.

601
00:22:15,877 --> 00:22:17,420
You're gonna hold my
weight, all of it.

602
00:22:17,421 --> 00:22:18,422
Okay, come on.

603
00:22:18,505 --> 00:22:20,507
You can hold on to my full weight?
I can do it.

604
00:22:20,590 --> 00:22:21,632
I don't want to die. Okay.

605
00:22:21,633 --> 00:22:23,301
One, two... Two, three.

606
00:22:23,802 --> 00:22:25,053
No! (SCREAMS)

607
00:22:25,929 --> 00:22:29,099
No! No!

608
00:22:29,641 --> 00:22:31,435
(SCREAMING)

609
00:22:33,353 --> 00:22:35,397
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

610
00:22:47,075 --> 00:22:48,618
(PANTING)

611
00:22:48,702 --> 00:22:51,413
(SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE)

612
00:22:51,496 --> 00:22:53,165
Oh, man.

613
00:22:54,916 --> 00:22:56,126
Fuck.

614
00:23:00,797 --> 00:23:02,549
(WAILING CONTINUES)

615
00:23:06,303 --> 00:23:07,596
Holy shit! What happened?

616
00:23:07,679 --> 00:23:09,222
Jay, you're alive. Jay.

617
00:23:09,306 --> 00:23:10,765
Oh, thank God, Jay.
I'm not dead yet.

618
00:23:10,766 --> 00:23:12,267
James: I told you guys
not to go outside.

619
00:23:12,350 --> 00:23:13,393
What just happened?

620
00:23:13,477 --> 00:23:14,853
Jesus Christ, they are
all fucking dead.

621
00:23:14,936 --> 00:23:16,480
James: I told you guys
not to run outside.

622
00:23:16,563 --> 00:23:17,564
(PANTING) You all right?

623
00:23:17,647 --> 00:23:19,566
(SOBBING) I tried to save Aziz.
I tried.

624
00:23:19,649 --> 00:23:21,443
(SOBBING) You did your best, man.
I love you.

625
00:23:21,526 --> 00:23:23,820
Why the fuck did you
guys run out there?

626
00:23:23,904 --> 00:23:25,447
You know what, James, can
you lower your voice?

627
00:23:25,530 --> 00:23:26,740
You're freaking out Jay!

628
00:23:26,823 --> 00:23:28,658
Maybe I'm a little
freaked out, too!

629
00:23:28,742 --> 00:23:30,285
He's not as strong as you.
Jay: They all fell in.

630
00:23:30,410 --> 00:23:32,537
James: Look at my house! Jay: I tried
to save them. They all fell in.

631
00:23:32,662 --> 00:23:35,248
(Jonah SHUSHING) Get your fucking hands off me.
Jonah, stop touching me.

632
00:23:35,332 --> 00:23:36,875
Can we get Jay some
water, please?

633
00:23:36,958 --> 00:23:38,209
Can we get him some hydration?

634
00:23:38,210 --> 00:23:39,669
He needs to be hydrated. Seth:
The water's not working!

635
00:23:39,753 --> 00:23:41,254
Everyone just runs
out the door!

636
00:23:41,338 --> 00:23:42,589
My phone is dead.

637
00:23:42,672 --> 00:23:44,341
Guys, the fucking
lnternet's not working!

638
00:23:44,424 --> 00:23:46,301
Let's watch the TV.
Let's check the news.

639
00:23:46,384 --> 00:23:48,178
Jay: Where is the TV?

640
00:23:48,261 --> 00:23:50,263
It's in the floor.
In the floor?

641
00:23:50,347 --> 00:23:52,099
Craig: Oh, that's dope.
James: Yeah, cool, huh?

642
00:23:52,182 --> 00:23:53,183
That's really neat.

643
00:23:53,266 --> 00:23:54,684
That is impressive, James.

644
00:23:54,810 --> 00:23:56,895
<i>The biggest earthquake
to ever hit Los...</i>

645
00:23:56,978 --> 00:23:59,773
<i>Officers urging people to stay
in their homes right now.</i>

646
00:23:59,856 --> 00:24:01,858
<i>And also reports of
looting and rioting</i>

647
00:24:01,942 --> 00:24:02,943
<i>are spreading across the city.</i>

648
00:24:03,026 --> 00:24:04,194
Riots.

649
00:24:04,277 --> 00:24:05,654
<i>Police are pretty
much outnumbered</i>

650
00:24:05,737 --> 00:24:07,781
<i>as people are turning
to one another.</i>

651
00:24:07,864 --> 00:24:09,616
<i>Martial law has now
been declared.</i>

652
00:24:09,699 --> 00:24:11,159
<i>Air Force One has gone down...</i>

653
00:24:12,327 --> 00:24:15,205
Shit. It's gone, guys.

654
00:24:16,123 --> 00:24:19,459
(STAMMERS) So I
think we should...

655
00:24:19,543 --> 00:24:22,629
I think we should probably
go back to your place, eh?

656
00:24:22,712 --> 00:24:24,131
What are you talking
about, man?

657
00:24:24,214 --> 00:24:27,384
No, no way. I'm
not leaving here.

658
00:24:27,467 --> 00:24:30,846
I don't want to die at
James Franco's house.

659
00:24:31,346 --> 00:24:32,806
Seth: You heard the TV.

660
00:24:32,889 --> 00:24:36,560
The TV said stay here. It
said stay in your homes.

661
00:24:36,643 --> 00:24:39,729
We need to stay here until they
start rescuing people, okay?

662
00:24:39,813 --> 00:24:42,315
A huge earthquake happens.
Who do they rescue first?

663
00:24:42,399 --> 00:24:43,817
Actors. Seth: Famous people.

664
00:24:43,900 --> 00:24:46,361
They'll get Clooney,
Sandra Bullock, me.

665
00:24:46,444 --> 00:24:48,196
If there's room,
you guys'll come.

666
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:50,407
The point is, is that we're all
gonna get out of this first.

667
00:24:50,490 --> 00:24:51,491
(EXPLOSION THUNDERS)

668
00:24:51,575 --> 00:24:52,576
Craig: What the hell was that?

669
00:24:52,659 --> 00:24:53,994
Seth: It's already going
crazy out there, guys.

670
00:24:54,077 --> 00:24:57,330
We can't leave. I'm not leaving, okay?
I'm a victim.

671
00:24:57,414 --> 00:25:00,250
I've had a victim's mentality my whole life.
People can smell it on me.

672
00:25:00,333 --> 00:25:02,169
When I was a kid, I
had man-titties.

673
00:25:02,252 --> 00:25:03,920
The bullies held me down,
they tittie-fucked me.

674
00:25:04,004 --> 00:25:05,338
That's what's happening
out there right now.

675
00:25:05,422 --> 00:25:06,673
That's right, we are all soft.

676
00:25:06,756 --> 00:25:07,883
Yeah. We are all soft!

677
00:25:07,966 --> 00:25:09,926
We are actors! We pretend
to be hard, man.

678
00:25:10,010 --> 00:25:11,845
James: Yeah. We
soft as baby shit.

679
00:25:11,928 --> 00:25:14,514
As baby shit, soft as... Wait,
Craig, what are you doing, man?

680
00:25:14,598 --> 00:25:17,100
Hey, hey, what are you doing? What
are you doing to the painting, man?

681
00:25:17,184 --> 00:25:18,810
We got to board this shit up, man.
Board it up?

682
00:25:18,894 --> 00:25:20,312
We got to protect ourselves.
We don't know

683
00:25:20,437 --> 00:25:22,105
how long we gonna be in here.
Okay, chill.

684
00:25:22,189 --> 00:25:23,398
There's raccoons, and
bandits, and shit out there.

685
00:25:23,481 --> 00:25:24,941
This is <i>Obey,</i> man! If
you get out the way!

686
00:25:25,025 --> 00:25:27,360
This is my favorite fucking painting!
What are you doing, Craig?

687
00:25:27,444 --> 00:25:28,445
Guys, help.

688
00:25:28,528 --> 00:25:30,363
Help. Help. Get off.

689
00:25:30,447 --> 00:25:31,740
(HELICOPTER APPROACHING)

690
00:25:31,823 --> 00:25:33,033
Chill. Look.

691
00:25:33,116 --> 00:25:34,910
Helicopter! Helicopter!

692
00:25:36,286 --> 00:25:40,040
The good guys are here. We're fine!
It's gonna be fine.

693
00:25:42,709 --> 00:25:43,835
(CRASHING)

694
00:25:44,294 --> 00:25:45,754
(SCREAMS) God damn!

695
00:25:45,837 --> 00:25:47,756
(ALL GASPING) Craig: Oh!
God damn!

696
00:25:48,173 --> 00:25:49,591
OW! Shit!

697
00:25:49,674 --> 00:25:50,675
You Okay?

698
00:25:50,759 --> 00:25:52,093
No, I'm not okay!

699
00:25:52,177 --> 00:25:54,262
Fuck your house, Franco!

700
00:25:54,387 --> 00:25:56,640
My house didn't do that! Aah!

701
00:25:57,682 --> 00:25:58,934
(SIZZLES) Ow.

702
00:26:02,145 --> 00:26:05,106
You don't got a tool kit or nothing?
Just a toolbox?

703
00:26:05,190 --> 00:26:06,566
I don't know. Look in there.

704
00:26:10,237 --> 00:26:12,113
Where's the edge of this shit?

705
00:26:12,197 --> 00:26:14,324
Seth: Your thumb's
in my butthole, man.

706
00:26:14,658 --> 00:26:15,825
Whoa.

707
00:26:15,909 --> 00:26:17,577
Y'all need this dick?

708
00:26:17,661 --> 00:26:18,662
No, we're not using it.

709
00:26:18,745 --> 00:26:20,265
All right, I'm gonna
take it over here.

710
00:26:20,330 --> 00:26:22,666
James: Careful with that dick.
Damn.

711
00:26:26,002 --> 00:26:27,379
It's heavy.

712
00:26:28,004 --> 00:26:31,174
There it is, got
that dick now.

713
00:26:31,258 --> 00:26:33,677
That dick is coming now.

714
00:26:34,219 --> 00:26:36,513
Yeah, got this big dick.

715
00:26:40,725 --> 00:26:42,143
James: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hey, hey.

716
00:26:42,227 --> 00:26:43,812
What now? Listen.

717
00:26:43,895 --> 00:26:46,940
Not the Rogen, all right?
Don't take him.

718
00:26:47,023 --> 00:26:48,066
Take me.

719
00:26:48,149 --> 00:26:51,611
We got 12 bottles of water,
56 beers, two vodkas,

720
00:26:51,695 --> 00:26:54,781
four whiskeys, six bottles
of wine, Tequila, Nutella,

721
00:26:54,864 --> 00:26:58,576
cheese, pizza, eggs, bananas,
apples, bacon, steaks,

722
00:26:58,660 --> 00:27:02,580
pancake mix, CT Crunch,
milk, ketchup, a Milky Way,

723
00:27:02,664 --> 00:27:05,709
half ounce Sour Diesel, three and
a half grams Grand Master Kush,

724
00:27:05,792 --> 00:27:07,961
one ounce of 'shrooms,
15 pills of ecstasy,

725
00:27:08,044 --> 00:27:10,046
a porno mag, a baseball bat,

726
00:27:10,130 --> 00:27:12,465
and the video camera
from the movie 27 <i>Hours.</i>

727
00:27:12,549 --> 00:27:14,050
<i>127 Hours.</i>

728
00:27:14,342 --> 00:27:15,802
Uh...

729
00:27:15,885 --> 00:27:17,679
<i>127 Hours.</i>

730
00:27:17,762 --> 00:27:20,974
And a functioning revolver
from the movie <i>Flyboys.</i>

731
00:27:21,057 --> 00:27:22,434
Old Faithful.

732
00:27:22,517 --> 00:27:23,852
Jesus. Thing's real.

733
00:27:23,935 --> 00:27:25,729
No, I kept this from the movie.
Yeah.

734
00:27:25,812 --> 00:27:27,355
This is an actual revolver.
I see.

735
00:27:27,439 --> 00:27:28,481
Franco, that's very
uncomfortable.

736
00:27:28,565 --> 00:27:29,607
Could you put that
down, please?

737
00:27:29,691 --> 00:27:30,650
Loaded.

738
00:27:30,734 --> 00:27:32,110
Jonah: Love it. Awesome.

739
00:27:32,235 --> 00:27:33,903
Can you just put the gun away?
I always keep my props.

740
00:27:33,987 --> 00:27:36,031
That's really cool.
Always keep my props.

741
00:27:36,114 --> 00:27:37,198
I know how to handle it.

742
00:27:37,282 --> 00:27:38,783
He knows what he's doing.
I like this bit.

743
00:27:38,867 --> 00:27:40,285
I like it. I get it. Let me see.

744
00:27:40,368 --> 00:27:42,329
It's real. It's heavy.
Let me see it like that.

745
00:27:42,412 --> 00:27:43,997
God damn! Seth: Come on, guys!

746
00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:45,165
You could kill...
James: Careful.

747
00:27:45,248 --> 00:27:46,333
Bang, bang! Jay: Jesus!

748
00:27:46,416 --> 00:27:47,709
Please, put it down! Oh, fuck!

749
00:27:47,792 --> 00:27:49,836
Bang, bang, bang. You're dead.

750
00:27:49,961 --> 00:27:52,005
I hope you're fucking happy.
Pow, pow, pow.

751
00:27:52,088 --> 00:27:53,757
Stop... Guys, stop
fucking with the gun.

752
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:55,342
Jesus! Jesus! Pow, pow.

753
00:27:55,425 --> 00:27:56,426
It's a real gun! Bang.

754
00:27:56,509 --> 00:27:57,510
It's so funny. It's so funny.

755
00:27:57,594 --> 00:27:59,074
Guys, it's funny.
Jay: It's not funny!

756
00:27:59,137 --> 00:28:00,513
We're getting sidetracked.

757
00:28:00,597 --> 00:28:01,890
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

758
00:28:01,973 --> 00:28:03,350
I'll just kill myself.
ALL: No!

759
00:28:03,433 --> 00:28:04,601
Don't do that, Jonah!
Jay: Jesus.

760
00:28:04,684 --> 00:28:05,768
Oh, no. Jonah, give it back.

761
00:28:05,769 --> 00:28:07,436
I don't know! I don't know.
Don't do that.

762
00:28:07,437 --> 00:28:09,189
James: Jonah. I'm so...

763
00:28:09,272 --> 00:28:11,024
Jay: Oh, my God. Hey.
Craig: Oh, dude.

764
00:28:11,107 --> 00:28:12,649
Jay: Come on, no, no.
Don't. Jesus!

765
00:28:12,650 --> 00:28:14,194
Would you put the thing down?
The whole...

766
00:28:14,277 --> 00:28:15,570
I'm trying to have
some fun, man.

767
00:28:15,653 --> 00:28:17,322
Okay, okay, Jesus.

768
00:28:17,405 --> 00:28:19,574
Jonah: Look, just because a bunch
of people fell into a hole outside

769
00:28:19,657 --> 00:28:21,075
doesn't mean we can't
have some fun.

770
00:28:21,076 --> 00:28:23,703
We're a bunch of best friends hanging out.
It's like a sleepover.

771
00:28:23,787 --> 00:28:26,164
Okay, food. How are we
gonna deal with this?

772
00:28:26,998 --> 00:28:28,041
Um...

773
00:28:28,124 --> 00:28:29,334
Can I have that Milky Way?

774
00:28:29,417 --> 00:28:30,835
No, you can't have
the Milky Way.

775
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:32,087
That's my Milky Way.
There's a bunch... What?

776
00:28:32,170 --> 00:28:33,546
I went out this morning,

777
00:28:33,630 --> 00:28:36,716
specifically bought this Milky
Way to eat after my party.

778
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:37,801
That's weird.

779
00:28:37,884 --> 00:28:39,324
It's not weird. It's
my special food.

780
00:28:39,386 --> 00:28:41,054
I like it. Back me
up on that, Seth.

781
00:28:41,137 --> 00:28:42,389
I don't think you should
get the whole Milky Way.

782
00:28:42,472 --> 00:28:43,597
I want some of the Milky Way.

783
00:28:43,598 --> 00:28:46,319
I'd be pretty bummed if I don't at
least get a bite of the Milky Way.

784
00:28:46,393 --> 00:28:47,435
Oh! Now Craig wants a
bite of the Milky Way.

785
00:28:47,519 --> 00:28:50,020
Yeah, I want a bite of the Milky Way.
It's a fucking Milky Way.

786
00:28:50,021 --> 00:28:52,732
A fifth of everything is
what's fair and reasonable.

787
00:28:52,816 --> 00:28:54,609
Everyone gets a fifth
of everything.

788
00:28:54,692 --> 00:28:56,236
I want one-fifth
of your T-shirt!

789
00:28:56,319 --> 00:28:58,071
I want the bottom
part, the belly.

790
00:28:58,154 --> 00:28:59,614
I'm not sporting a crop
top in your house.

791
00:28:59,697 --> 00:29:01,241
I'll cut that shit off
and make a headband.

792
00:29:01,324 --> 00:29:03,034
You couldn't
handle my midriff.

793
00:29:03,118 --> 00:29:05,954
Guys, the only issue is, I
kind of need the Milky Way.

794
00:29:06,037 --> 00:29:07,205
For fuck's sake.

795
00:29:07,288 --> 00:29:08,581
No, for real, I have
low blood sugar,

796
00:29:08,665 --> 00:29:09,666
and if my endorphins
drop too low,

797
00:29:09,749 --> 00:29:10,750
I'm gonna be a nightmare
to be around.

798
00:29:10,834 --> 00:29:12,752
What? Your LBS starts acting up,

799
00:29:12,836 --> 00:29:14,796
you can have a finger
scoop of Nutella, okay?

800
00:29:14,879 --> 00:29:17,298
One finger scoop of Nutella.
Fair.

801
00:29:17,382 --> 00:29:19,008
I'm going to bed.

802
00:29:19,092 --> 00:29:20,510
Jesus fucking...

803
00:29:20,593 --> 00:29:22,178
Don't touch that
Milky Way, Jonah.

804
00:29:22,262 --> 00:29:23,555
Night, James.

805
00:29:24,472 --> 00:29:27,308
(GUNFIRE SOUNDS)
(EXPLOSIONS IN DISTANCE)

806
00:29:28,351 --> 00:29:30,937
MAN: (IN DISTANCE)
Oh, God, no!

807
00:29:31,771 --> 00:29:33,064
(WHISPERING) Fuck.

808
00:29:35,233 --> 00:29:36,234
(HELICOPTER APPROACHING)

809
00:29:36,317 --> 00:29:37,986
(EXPLOSION NEARBY)

810
00:29:42,866 --> 00:29:44,534
(GUNFIRE CONTINUES)

811
00:29:45,243 --> 00:29:47,078
(FOOTSTEPS THUDDING)

812
00:30:01,885 --> 00:30:04,304
Hey-Hey

813
00:30:04,804 --> 00:30:06,263
I'm gonna sleep with you.

814
00:30:06,264 --> 00:30:07,640
What? I'm gonna sleep with you.

815
00:30:07,724 --> 00:30:08,766
It's too scary to sleep alone.

816
00:30:08,850 --> 00:30:09,933
But this is my little area.

817
00:30:09,934 --> 00:30:11,561
Well, I'm invading
your little area.

818
00:30:11,644 --> 00:30:14,564
I'm sorry, but I'm
too scared, okay?

819
00:30:14,647 --> 00:30:15,648
Are you mad at me, man?

820
00:30:15,732 --> 00:30:17,484
If I was pissed at you,

821
00:30:17,567 --> 00:30:19,819
I'm sure it would
have something to do

822
00:30:19,903 --> 00:30:21,488
with the fact that
I had no interest

823
00:30:21,571 --> 00:30:24,574
in coming to this
house socially,

824
00:30:24,657 --> 00:30:27,494
and now, lam
barricaded in here

825
00:30:27,577 --> 00:30:30,538
with a bunch of people
that I really hate.

826
00:30:30,914 --> 00:30:32,665
Maybe this was meant to be.

827
00:30:32,749 --> 00:30:36,002
Maybe this horrible, horrible,
deadly earthquake happened

828
00:30:36,085 --> 00:30:38,379
so we could become closer
as a group of friends.

829
00:30:38,463 --> 00:30:42,050
I don't need a group. I'm like DMX, man.
I'm a lone wolf.

830
00:30:42,133 --> 00:30:43,593
DMX isn't a lone wolf.

831
00:30:44,052 --> 00:30:45,762
DMX has the Ruff Ryder crew.

832
00:30:45,845 --> 00:30:48,139
You can't stop, drop,
and open up shop alone.

833
00:30:48,223 --> 00:30:52,352
You need people to help you in an
earthquake disastery situation.

834
00:30:52,435 --> 00:30:56,356
It was something else.
It was Judgment Day.

835
00:30:56,439 --> 00:30:57,815
<i>Like Terminator 2?</i>

836
00:30:57,899 --> 00:31:00,151
<i>No, not</i> like <i>Terminator 2.
For God's sakes.</i>

837
00:31:00,235 --> 00:31:02,028
Like Skynet? You think
this is Skynet?

838
00:31:02,111 --> 00:31:03,363
Like, Skynet went live? No.

839
00:31:03,446 --> 00:31:05,198
Will you please stop
saying "Skynet"?

840
00:31:05,281 --> 00:31:07,408
Well, you're the one
that said Judgment Day.

841
00:31:07,492 --> 00:31:09,077
The biblical Judgment Day.

842
00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:10,286
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)

843
00:31:10,411 --> 00:31:12,205
What? That's crazy. It's just...

844
00:31:12,288 --> 00:31:13,498
You fucking heathen.

845
00:31:13,581 --> 00:31:14,582
Okay, here's the thing.

846
00:31:14,666 --> 00:31:16,918
Let's say for a second
there was Blue light

847
00:31:17,001 --> 00:31:18,545
sucking people
up into the sky.

848
00:31:18,628 --> 00:31:22,131
That means that we were not
awesome enough to go to heaven.

849
00:31:22,465 --> 00:31:24,551
(FOOTSTEPS THUDDING) Shit!
Shit.

850
00:31:29,305 --> 00:31:31,099
What y'all doing?

851
00:31:31,808 --> 00:31:32,934
Fuck you, Craig.

852
00:31:33,017 --> 00:31:34,852
I'm scared. It's
scary by myself.

853
00:31:34,936 --> 00:31:36,563
It's way better
with more people.

854
00:31:36,980 --> 00:31:37,981
I'm gonna come down here.

855
00:31:38,064 --> 00:31:40,525
Seth: Oh, yeah, good, yeah.
Get in here, man.

856
00:31:40,608 --> 00:31:41,568
Get right in there.

857
00:31:41,651 --> 00:31:43,236
So, you're gonna...

858
00:31:43,319 --> 00:31:44,737
Right here. Right here.

859
00:31:44,821 --> 00:31:47,448
I feel better, actually.
I like that.

860
00:31:49,075 --> 00:31:50,827
It's better with more people.

861
00:31:50,910 --> 00:31:51,911
Hey, guys...

862
00:31:51,995 --> 00:31:54,080
Jay: Jesus Christ.
Seth: Jesus!

863
00:31:54,163 --> 00:31:56,624
Sorry. Franco has this
crazy open floor plan.

864
00:31:56,708 --> 00:31:58,626
I can hear every word
you guys are saying.

865
00:31:58,710 --> 00:32:01,045
I might as well hang with
you guys if that's cool.

866
00:32:01,129 --> 00:32:02,755
Nice. Coming in hot.

867
00:32:02,839 --> 00:32:04,424
I gonna grab a
blanket from you.

868
00:32:04,507 --> 00:32:05,842
Give me that blanket.

869
00:32:05,925 --> 00:32:07,677
Get in the middle of it.
That's good.

870
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:10,013
That's it. It feels so
much more safe now, guys.

871
00:32:10,096 --> 00:32:11,222
It's nice here.

872
00:32:11,306 --> 00:32:12,682
Should we spoon it?
Yeah, you want to?

873
00:32:12,765 --> 00:32:13,891
No! Want to go...

874
00:32:13,975 --> 00:32:14,976
Dick to butt? No.

875
00:32:15,059 --> 00:32:16,184
My butt to you and then Jay.

876
00:32:16,185 --> 00:32:18,021
I don't want to butt
to dick to anything.

877
00:32:18,104 --> 00:32:19,355
Are you docking into me?
You're doing tip to me?

878
00:32:19,439 --> 00:32:20,440
Or what are you doing?

879
00:32:20,523 --> 00:32:21,608
Should we go butt to
butt or dick to...

880
00:32:21,691 --> 00:32:22,692
Seth and I are gonna
go ass to ass.

881
00:32:22,775 --> 00:32:23,943
Do you want to go
front to front?

882
00:32:24,027 --> 00:32:26,112
No, I'm fine just
going dicks up.

883
00:32:26,195 --> 00:32:27,280
Dicks up?

884
00:32:27,363 --> 00:32:28,823
I think I'm going dick to ass.
You know what?

885
00:32:28,906 --> 00:32:30,950
I'm going Scarf ace-style.

886
00:32:31,034 --> 00:32:32,285
Both of you guys. Wait, yeah.

887
00:32:32,368 --> 00:32:33,536
There we go. Yeah.

888
00:32:33,620 --> 00:32:34,621
This is the best way.

889
00:32:34,704 --> 00:32:35,788
Good night, boys.

890
00:32:35,872 --> 00:32:38,249
Good night. Good night.

891
00:32:38,333 --> 00:32:39,542
Good night, guys.

892
00:32:39,626 --> 00:32:41,377
Night, my sweet guys.
Good night.

893
00:32:41,461 --> 00:32:42,582
Craig: Sweet dreams, fellas.

894
00:32:44,505 --> 00:32:46,341
(EXPLOSIONS RUMBLING)

895
00:32:48,885 --> 00:32:50,637
<i>(WHEN THE SHIT
GOES DOWN PLAYING)</i>

896
00:33:08,738 --> 00:33:11,115
<i>♪ Livin' on fat pockets
on flat wit tha gat</i>

897
00:33:11,199 --> 00:33:13,660
<i>♪ Rollin' around a
nine deuce Cadillac</i>

898
00:33:13,743 --> 00:33:16,037
<i>♪ Still got my homies
to watch my back</i>

899
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:18,498
<i>♪ And they'll smoke ya ass
if you wanna come and chat</i>

900
00:33:18,581 --> 00:33:21,417
<i>♪ Why wallow when you come to roll on?
I put the clip</i>

901
00:33:21,501 --> 00:33:23,544
<i>♪ And before I bring ya ass on</i>

902
00:33:23,628 --> 00:33:25,797
<i>♪ Kickin' dust on
your head like I bust</i>

903
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:27,799
<i>I My grip surrounded,
I'm about...</i>

904
00:33:27,882 --> 00:33:29,217
Fuck, yeah.

905
00:33:29,300 --> 00:33:32,095
<i>♪ When tha shit goes
down ya better be ready</i>

906
00:33:32,178 --> 00:33:33,471
<i>I When tha shit goes down</i>

907
00:33:33,554 --> 00:33:37,100
<i>♪ When tha shit goes
down ya better be ready</i>

908
00:33:37,183 --> 00:33:38,226
<i>I When tha shit goes down</i>

909
00:33:38,309 --> 00:33:41,604
<i>♪ When tha shit goes
down ya better be ready</i>

910
00:33:41,688 --> 00:33:43,481
<i>I Ya better be ready 4'</i>

911
00:33:52,949 --> 00:33:54,742
(TOOTHBRUSH BUZZING)

912
00:34:02,250 --> 00:34:04,627
Franco! Good
morning, sunshine.

913
00:34:04,711 --> 00:34:05,962
Guys! Guys! Wake up!

914
00:34:06,045 --> 00:34:08,840
Danny's alive! He's eating
all the fucking food!

915
00:34:08,923 --> 00:34:10,883
No! Danny, man, don't.

916
00:34:11,592 --> 00:34:12,802
Danny!

917
00:34:13,636 --> 00:34:15,930
No, it's cool, man. I fucking
made this for you guys.

918
00:34:16,013 --> 00:34:17,014
Stop eating!

919
00:34:17,098 --> 00:34:18,182
Don't eat another
piece of bacon.

920
00:34:18,266 --> 00:34:19,392
Guys, just chill the
fuck out, okay?

921
00:34:19,475 --> 00:34:22,437
I'm sure the Green Goblin can
fucking afford some more bacon.

922
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:24,814
Dude, that shit's supposed to
last us till we get rescued!

923
00:34:25,273 --> 00:34:28,317
Wait a second. I
know what happened.

924
00:34:28,401 --> 00:34:30,987
You guys dropped acid, didn't you?
Mmm-hmm.

925
00:34:31,237 --> 00:34:33,363
Craig doesn't have any pants on.
He got fucking wild.

926
00:34:33,364 --> 00:34:35,783
Probably danced, sweated
all over the place.

927
00:34:35,867 --> 00:34:37,160
You got white shit all
over your mouth, Franco.

928
00:34:37,243 --> 00:34:38,536
You probably sucked
somebody's dick.

929
00:34:38,619 --> 00:34:41,414
Jonah over here probably
watched and jerked off.

930
00:34:41,497 --> 00:34:43,624
Jay, I didn't even know you were in town.
Good to see you.

931
00:34:43,708 --> 00:34:46,085
Danny, we're not on acid. We
didn't suck each other's dicks!

932
00:34:46,169 --> 00:34:48,880
James Franco didn't suck
any dick last night?

933
00:34:48,963 --> 00:34:50,506
Now I know y'all are tripping.

934
00:34:50,590 --> 00:34:52,431
You actually not know
what happened last night?

935
00:34:52,508 --> 00:34:55,094
Daniel, you may want to
stay seated for a second.

936
00:34:55,178 --> 00:34:57,054
Some really messed-up
stuff happened,

937
00:34:57,138 --> 00:34:59,348
and there were a
lot of fatalities.

938
00:34:59,432 --> 00:35:02,101
Oh, really? You're putting
your serious voice on, Jonah?

939
00:35:02,185 --> 00:35:04,604
Okay, tell me about
these "fatalities."

940
00:35:04,687 --> 00:35:07,774
Dude, Segel's dead, Krumholtz
is dead, Michael Cera's dead.

941
00:35:07,857 --> 00:35:11,527
Guess if Michael Cera's gone, it's
not a total loss, huh? (LAUGHS)

942
00:35:11,611 --> 00:35:13,131
Jay: Jesus, Danny.
Michael Cera's dead.

943
00:35:13,196 --> 00:35:14,906
What? It's not like that.

944
00:35:14,989 --> 00:35:16,699
It's not funny, man.
It's really not funny.

945
00:35:16,783 --> 00:35:17,784
Seth, that's a
better performance

946
00:35:17,867 --> 00:35:19,534
than you've given in
your last six movies.

947
00:35:19,535 --> 00:35:21,245
<i>Where the tuck was that
"m Green Hornet, huh'?</i>"

948
00:35:21,329 --> 00:35:23,164
Jonah, you're fucking
sucking balls.

949
00:35:23,247 --> 00:35:24,848
You're an Academy Award
nominated person.

950
00:35:24,916 --> 00:35:27,293
You need to be fucking
selling that shit, dude.

951
00:35:27,376 --> 00:35:29,577
(DRAMATICALLY) "Fatalities.
There were some fatalities."

952
00:35:30,129 --> 00:35:31,172
Fatalities.

953
00:35:32,048 --> 00:35:33,716
Okay, now that was good.
That was good.

954
00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:35,802
Does it seem like
we're fucking joking?

955
00:35:35,885 --> 00:35:38,429
Hey, hey, hey! What the
fuck you eating, man?

956
00:35:38,554 --> 00:35:41,349
Spit it out your mouth. Give me the bacon!
(GUYS GROANING)

957
00:35:42,225 --> 00:35:44,352
(THUDDING) (GLASS SHATTERING)

958
00:35:47,814 --> 00:35:49,023
(WHISPERING) Shit.

959
00:35:49,899 --> 00:35:51,192
Shit, what do we do?

960
00:35:51,275 --> 00:35:53,110
Craig: Shoot 'em! Shoot 'em!
Shoot 'em!

961
00:35:53,319 --> 00:35:54,904
(THUDDING CONTINUES)

962
00:35:55,738 --> 00:35:57,240
(GLASS SHATTERING)

963
00:35:58,074 --> 00:35:59,116
James: Should I shoot?

964
00:35:59,242 --> 00:36:01,285
Jay: Shut up, Franco! Craig:
Shoot the door, Franco!

965
00:36:01,953 --> 00:36:02,995
Oh, God!

966
00:36:03,079 --> 00:36:05,679
Did you not hear me knocking out here?
I've been knocking forever.

967
00:36:05,748 --> 00:36:07,625
Please! Please! You've
got to let me in!

968
00:36:08,668 --> 00:36:10,837
Hang on a second. What?

969
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:13,381
(WHISPERING) Guys, I know
it sounds really weird,

970
00:36:13,464 --> 00:36:15,925
but I don't think we
should let him in.

971
00:36:16,217 --> 00:36:17,176
Why not?

972
00:36:17,260 --> 00:36:18,970
Yeah, why not? I can
hear you, by the way.

973
00:36:19,053 --> 00:36:20,680
I'm sorry. We just
don't know you, man.

974
00:36:20,763 --> 00:36:24,183
You could be like, a looter, or
a rapist, or a tittie-fucker.

975
00:36:24,267 --> 00:36:25,601
Like, I'm sorry.

976
00:36:25,685 --> 00:36:28,521
Look, guys, we just boarded up this
whole house to keep everyone out,

977
00:36:28,604 --> 00:36:31,148
and the first guy comes to the
door, we're gonna let him in?

978
00:36:31,232 --> 00:36:32,775
I mean, how do we know
we can trust this guy?

979
00:36:32,859 --> 00:36:35,611
I want to live! Things
have gone crazy out here!

980
00:36:35,695 --> 00:36:38,906
(JABBERING GOOFILY) "Fucking crazy
out here!" This guy fucking sucks.

981
00:36:38,990 --> 00:36:40,032
What if he's the rapist?

982
00:36:40,116 --> 00:36:41,242
Man, even if he is a rapist,

983
00:36:41,325 --> 00:36:43,119
he can't rape all of us. Yeah!
No! So I'm not...

984
00:36:43,202 --> 00:36:44,787
I'm not a rapist! You
want to tittie-fuck us?

985
00:36:44,871 --> 00:36:47,623
If you want me to tittie-fuck you, I will!
So good! You'll love it.

986
00:36:47,707 --> 00:36:49,000
Seth, back me up, please.

987
00:36:49,083 --> 00:36:51,419
We can't just leave him out there to die.
Are you crazy?

988
00:36:51,502 --> 00:36:53,462
What do you want to do? I'll
do whatever you want to do.

989
00:36:53,546 --> 00:36:54,630
Let's vote on it.

990
00:36:54,714 --> 00:36:56,507
Yeah, I fucking
vote you let me in.

991
00:36:56,591 --> 00:36:58,050
Here's my vote.
Fuck all of you.

992
00:36:58,134 --> 00:36:59,594
I'm letting him in.
This is boring.

993
00:37:00,469 --> 00:37:01,553
There's something out here!

994
00:37:01,554 --> 00:37:02,889
<i>(CREATURE GROW LS',</i>

995
00:37:04,140 --> 00:37:05,975
(ALL SCREAMING)

996
00:37:07,643 --> 00:37:09,729
This is real! This
is fucking real!

997
00:37:10,396 --> 00:37:11,564
God damn it!

998
00:37:11,647 --> 00:37:13,065
(CLAMORING)

999
00:37:14,525 --> 00:37:16,152
(HIGH-PITCHED SCREAMING)

1000
00:37:16,319 --> 00:37:17,862
(ALL SCREAMING AND CLAMORING)

1001
00:37:25,411 --> 00:37:26,829
You guys!

1002
00:37:26,913 --> 00:37:28,353
This man was alive
a few seconds ago.

1003
00:37:28,414 --> 00:37:29,916
We can't play soccer
with his head!

1004
00:37:29,999 --> 00:37:31,375
James: Pick it up, Jonah!

1005
00:37:31,459 --> 00:37:32,460
(GROANS)

1006
00:37:33,002 --> 00:37:34,420
Seth: What the
fuck is going on?

1007
00:37:34,503 --> 00:37:36,088
He blinked at me.

1008
00:37:36,172 --> 00:37:38,299
He blinked at my face.
Seth, put it over there.

1009
00:37:38,382 --> 00:37:39,383
(WHIMPERING)

1010
00:37:39,675 --> 00:37:40,885
Oh, my God!

1011
00:37:40,968 --> 00:37:42,219
I got it. I got it, guys.

1012
00:37:42,303 --> 00:37:44,680
There's blood all
over my floor!

1013
00:37:44,764 --> 00:37:46,098
Jonah: Time to relax
for a second.

1014
00:37:46,182 --> 00:37:48,976
Okay, someone should
look out the hole.

1015
00:37:49,060 --> 00:37:50,102
I ain't looking out that hole!

1016
00:37:50,186 --> 00:37:52,229
Last person looked through that
hole got his head chopped off!

1017
00:37:52,313 --> 00:37:56,525
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Whatever is
out there might still be out there.

1018
00:37:57,026 --> 00:37:58,444
(SHUSHING)

1019
00:37:58,527 --> 00:38:00,927
(WHISPERING) Okay, I know, I know.
Come on. Come on. Come on.

1020
00:38:01,822 --> 00:38:05,034
Jay: Oh, God. Oh, God.
Oh, God.

1021
00:38:06,661 --> 00:38:08,371
There's a lookout!

1022
00:38:14,210 --> 00:38:16,337
Jesus Christ! Look, there's a
huge fucking hole down there!

1023
00:38:16,420 --> 00:38:18,214
What the fuck is this?

1024
00:38:18,881 --> 00:38:20,382
Where's the thing
that killed the guy?

1025
00:38:20,383 --> 00:38:21,467
I don't know.

1026
00:38:21,550 --> 00:38:22,718
How'd his head fall off?

1027
00:38:22,802 --> 00:38:24,053
And where's the rest of him?

1028
00:38:28,140 --> 00:38:29,225
<i>(BEEP S)</i>

1029
00:38:30,601 --> 00:38:31,894
<i>Hi.</i>

1030
00:38:31,978 --> 00:38:33,646
<i>This is James Franco,</i>

1031
00:38:35,356 --> 00:38:37,858
<i>in my house, in my library.</i>

1032
00:38:37,942 --> 00:38:41,362
<i>We've been stuck here
for about 24 hours.</i>

1033
00:38:41,445 --> 00:38:43,823
<i>Danny McBride is here.</i>

1034
00:38:43,906 --> 00:38:45,346
<i>I didn't even invite
him to my party,</i>

1035
00:38:45,408 --> 00:38:47,994
<i>but he came and passed
out in the bathtub,</i>

1036
00:38:48,077 --> 00:38:51,163
<i>and I got to say it's, like,
typical fucking McBride.</i>

1037
00:38:51,247 --> 00:38:55,376
<i>Like, I've been feeling really
weird about him lately.</i>

1038
00:38:55,459 --> 00:38:58,421
<i>Like, I don't really know if I
want to be friends with him,</i>

1039
00:38:58,504 --> 00:39:02,341
<i>and then he fucking
showed up at my party,</i>

1040
00:39:02,425 --> 00:39:07,054
<i>and now, we're stuck here with
him in disaster lockdown, so...</i>

1041
00:39:08,264 --> 00:39:09,306
(KNOCKS)

1042
00:39:10,266 --> 00:39:11,559
<i>What up? What's going on?</i>

1043
00:39:11,642 --> 00:39:13,060
<i>Hey, Danny. What's up, man?</i>

1044
00:39:13,144 --> 00:39:15,646
<i>Not much. What are you doing?
What is this?</i>

1045
00:39:15,730 --> 00:39:18,190
<i>Oh, it's just a
video confessional.</i>

1046
00:39:24,780 --> 00:39:26,282
<i>Fuck that dude.</i>

1047
00:39:27,033 --> 00:39:28,867
James: Earthquakes 'cause tsunamis.
Seth: Yes.

1048
00:39:28,868 --> 00:39:31,287
James: Tsunamis 'cause
other tsunamis, disaster.

1049
00:39:31,370 --> 00:39:33,372
I mean, for all we know, the fucking
Lakers could have just won,

1050
00:39:33,456 --> 00:39:34,832
and that's the reason why
all this is happening.

1051
00:39:34,915 --> 00:39:36,876
Hole in Franco's front yard?
Sinkhole.

1052
00:39:36,959 --> 00:39:40,337
Every single time I turn on the
news, sinkhole in South America.

1053
00:39:40,421 --> 00:39:42,048
Bunch of South Americans getting
sucked into the ground.

1054
00:39:42,131 --> 00:39:43,549
Sinkhole de Mayo.
Sinkhole de Mayo.

1055
00:39:43,632 --> 00:39:44,758
That's why it's named that,

1056
00:39:44,759 --> 00:39:46,343
because sinkholes happen
in the summertime.

1057
00:39:46,427 --> 00:39:50,431
It's not wildfires. It's not earthquakes.
It's not sinkholes.

1058
00:39:50,514 --> 00:39:51,640
I think I know what it is.

1059
00:39:51,724 --> 00:39:52,725
Let's hear it.

1060
00:39:53,642 --> 00:39:55,936
I think it's the Apocalypse.

1061
00:39:56,228 --> 00:39:57,480
What? (CHUCKLING)

1062
00:39:59,065 --> 00:40:03,360
I'm serious, boys. It's all in
here, in the Book of Revelations.

1063
00:40:03,444 --> 00:40:04,403
You took my Bible?

1064
00:40:04,487 --> 00:40:05,488
Well, just hear me out,

1065
00:40:05,571 --> 00:40:06,781
and you tell me that
what I'm describing

1066
00:40:06,864 --> 00:40:09,658
isn't what's going on right now.
(CLEARS THROAT)

1067
00:40:10,034 --> 00:40:13,412
"And the skies shall open up, and the
light of the Lord shall shine down,"

1068
00:40:13,496 --> 00:40:16,248
"and those of good heart shall be
brought into my kingdom of heaven."

1069
00:40:16,332 --> 00:40:20,711
That's the Rapture, those are the
gigantic beams of Blue light.

1070
00:40:20,795 --> 00:40:23,130
"And there will be a great
Mountain burning in fire."

1071
00:40:23,214 --> 00:40:26,634
I mean, the Hollywood Hills are
literally engulfed in flames

1072
00:40:26,717 --> 00:40:28,135
as we sit here right now.

1073
00:40:28,219 --> 00:40:30,763
The Hollywood Hills ain't no Mountain.
It's a hill.

1074
00:40:30,846 --> 00:40:32,056
Takes about 10 minutes
to get across

1075
00:40:32,139 --> 00:40:33,265
that motherfucker
with no traffic.

1076
00:40:33,349 --> 00:40:34,589
Goldwater. I take
Laurel Canyon.

1077
00:40:34,642 --> 00:40:35,601
Cahuenga. Cahuenga.

1078
00:40:35,684 --> 00:40:37,561
I usually zip down Barham. Boys,
can I just fucking finish?

1079
00:40:37,645 --> 00:40:38,938
Craig: I love Laurel Canyon.

1080
00:40:39,021 --> 00:40:42,858
"And out of the pit Rose a great
red dragon having seven heads,"

1081
00:40:42,942 --> 00:40:45,694
"that old serpent called
the devil and Satan,"

1082
00:40:45,778 --> 00:40:48,656
"which deceiveth
the whole world,"

1083
00:40:48,739 --> 00:40:51,283
"was released onto the earth."

1084
00:40:52,159 --> 00:40:54,578
<i>I love that</i> dude. <i>He's from
Where the Wild Things Are.</i>

1085
00:40:54,662 --> 00:40:55,663
It's a load of bullshit.

1086
00:40:55,746 --> 00:40:56,789
It's not bullshit.

1087
00:40:56,872 --> 00:40:58,165
James: Want to know
something else, Jay?

1088
00:40:58,249 --> 00:40:59,333
If this is the end
of the world,

1089
00:40:59,416 --> 00:41:01,001
and all the good people died,

1090
00:41:01,085 --> 00:41:05,297
what you're saying is Seth,
me, Jonah, Craig and Danny

1091
00:41:05,381 --> 00:41:06,382
are a bunch of assholes.

1092
00:41:06,465 --> 00:41:08,634
I'm straight-up lovable, son.

1093
00:41:08,717 --> 00:41:12,471
And if this really
is the Apocalypse,

1094
00:41:12,555 --> 00:41:13,597
you're here, too.

1095
00:41:14,223 --> 00:41:17,560
So, that means you're just
as shitty as the rest of us.

1096
00:41:18,435 --> 00:41:19,770
Doesn't feel too
good, does it?

1097
00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:32,825
Hey, guys. I'm going
to sleep now.

1098
00:41:32,908 --> 00:41:34,285
Nobody come in here
and bother me.

1099
00:41:34,910 --> 00:41:35,911
Go fish.

1100
00:41:35,995 --> 00:41:37,663
Put it back inside of here.

1101
00:41:37,746 --> 00:41:39,665
Do you know what it is? Yeah.

1102
00:41:39,748 --> 00:41:41,959
Now you ask me for
something that you need.

1103
00:41:42,042 --> 00:41:43,460
Dan NY: First bit.

1104
00:41:43,544 --> 00:41:44,837
Seth: You're not
cutting it all?

1105
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:47,631
That's smart. You're
divvying it up first.

1106
00:41:47,923 --> 00:41:49,758
This is like, Fruyere or some shit.
That's me.

1107
00:41:49,842 --> 00:41:50,925
Come on, Danny!

1108
00:41:50,926 --> 00:41:52,366
You licked your finger.
Come on, man.

1109
00:41:53,220 --> 00:41:54,513
Danny: If they're all
equal, what does it matter?

1110
00:41:54,597 --> 00:41:55,973
Craig: Keep your hands
and fingers off.

1111
00:41:56,056 --> 00:41:57,016
Seth? Yeah.

1112
00:41:57,099 --> 00:41:58,809
Can I talk to you for a second?
Yeah, yeah.

1113
00:41:58,893 --> 00:42:00,269
Yeah, no shit.

1114
00:42:00,603 --> 00:42:01,854
(SIGHS)

1115
00:42:02,980 --> 00:42:05,149
Here. Off the menu, my man.

1116
00:42:06,442 --> 00:42:08,527
Holy shit, man. Where
did you get these?

1117
00:42:08,611 --> 00:42:12,114
Hey, what's cheese without a few crackers?
Know what I'm saying?

1118
00:42:12,198 --> 00:42:14,074
Hide it. Okay.

1119
00:42:16,285 --> 00:42:17,703
'Cause we're a team.

1120
00:42:17,786 --> 00:42:18,871
Okay.

1121
00:42:18,954 --> 00:42:20,831
Freaks forever, brother.

1122
00:42:22,166 --> 00:42:24,126
Let's do all the drugs.

1123
00:42:24,210 --> 00:42:26,045
I don't really want to.

1124
00:42:26,128 --> 00:42:28,380
Should have thought of that before
you drank a can full of ecstasy.

1125
00:42:28,464 --> 00:42:29,465
(SPITTING)

1126
00:42:29,548 --> 00:42:30,633
What?

1127
00:42:30,758 --> 00:42:32,676
<i>(GANGNAM STYLE PLAYING)</i>

1128
00:42:32,801 --> 00:42:34,136
<i>♪ Gangnam style</i>

1129
00:42:35,596 --> 00:42:39,183
<i>♪ Op, op, op, op,
oppan Gangnam style</i>

1130
00:42:41,769 --> 00:42:42,728
<i>♪ Gangnam style</i>

1131
00:42:42,811 --> 00:42:46,440
<i>♪ Op, op, op, op,
oppan Gangnam style</i>

1132
00:42:46,523 --> 00:42:48,275
<i>I Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh</i>

1133
00:42:48,359 --> 00:42:51,737
<i>♪ Eh, sexy lady</i>

1134
00:42:51,820 --> 00:42:53,656
<i>♪ Op, OP, 0P» 0p</i>

1135
00:42:53,739 --> 00:42:55,950
<i>I Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh</i>

1136
00:42:56,033 --> 00:42:57,159
<i>♪ Oppan Gangnam style a'</i>

1137
00:42:57,826 --> 00:42:59,411
<i>(PAPER PLANES PLAYING)</i>

1138
00:43:05,668 --> 00:43:08,420
<i>♪ I fly like paper,
get high like planes</i>

1139
00:43:08,504 --> 00:43:10,965
<i>♪ If you catch me at the
border I got visas in my name</i>

1140
00:43:11,048 --> 00:43:14,176
<i>♪ If you come around
here, I make 'em all day</i>

1141
00:43:14,260 --> 00:43:16,470
<i>♪ I get one down in a
second if you wait...</i>

1142
00:43:16,553 --> 00:43:17,930
(COUGHING)

1143
00:43:18,013 --> 00:43:20,266
<i>Should we call Red?
Get more weed?</i>

1144
00:43:20,349 --> 00:43:23,102
<i>Oh, I don't know, man.
That guy's gone crazy.</i>

1145
00:43:23,185 --> 00:43:27,439
<i>Good thing I have a lot of
fucking weed for you guys.</i>

1146
00:43:27,523 --> 00:43:29,775
<i>I hooked you guys UP-</i>

1147
00:43:29,858 --> 00:43:33,737
<i>Now I need you guys to
assassinate Woody Harrelson.</i>

1148
00:43:33,988 --> 00:43:36,448
<i>If pot's legalized, my
business will suffer.</i>

1149
00:43:36,532 --> 00:43:38,826
<i>And if my business
suffers, I suffer.</i>

1150
00:43:38,909 --> 00:43:39,994
<i>So much suffering.</i>

1151
00:43:40,077 --> 00:43:42,913
<i>All 'cause of that inbred
hemp seed, Woody Harrelson.</i>

1152
00:43:42,997 --> 00:43:44,832
<i>I have to do what's right.</i>

1153
00:43:44,915 --> 00:43:47,376
<i>Weed is for the people.
It's the people's weed.</i>

1154
00:43:47,793 --> 00:43:49,711
<i>If you don't assassinate him...
We already quit.</i>

1155
00:43:49,712 --> 00:43:52,256
<i>I'm gonna assassinate
both of you.</i>

1156
00:43:53,215 --> 00:43:54,633
<i>Run! Go!</i>

1157
00:43:54,717 --> 00:43:55,801
(SCREAMS)

1158
00:43:57,136 --> 00:43:58,470
<i>I And take your money</i>

1159
00:43:58,554 --> 00:44:00,931
<i>♪ All I wanna do is... a'</i>

1160
00:44:01,015 --> 00:44:03,892
<i>B.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.
forever.</i>

1161
00:44:03,976 --> 00:44:05,227
<i>B.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.</i>

1162
00:44:09,064 --> 00:44:10,733
(SCREAMING)

1163
00:44:11,150 --> 00:44:12,526
<i>Look out! Shit!</i>

1164
00:44:13,485 --> 00:44:15,612
<i>You're letting them get away!
(SCREAMING)</i>

1165
00:44:20,409 --> 00:44:22,786
<i>I smoked weed with Steve Jobs,</i>

1166
00:44:22,870 --> 00:44:25,122
<i>and that's when he
came up with the iPad.</i>

1167
00:44:25,706 --> 00:44:27,416
<i>(LAUGHTER) It's pretty great.</i>

1168
00:44:27,499 --> 00:44:29,292
We should make sequels
to more of our movies.

1169
00:44:29,293 --> 00:44:30,336
Craig: Yeah!

1170
00:44:30,419 --> 00:44:32,004
<i>"James". How about we
not do Your Highness 2?</i>

1171
00:44:32,087 --> 00:44:33,589
<i>Yeah. Do 128 Hours.</i>

1172
00:44:33,672 --> 00:44:36,008
The beginning of the rest of
your comedies. Looks good.

1173
00:44:36,091 --> 00:44:37,468
(THUDDING)

1174
00:44:38,761 --> 00:44:39,762
(SCREAMING)

1175
00:44:39,845 --> 00:44:41,263
Oh, my God!

1176
00:44:45,392 --> 00:44:46,602
(ALL SCREAMING)

1177
00:44:47,519 --> 00:44:48,520
(GASPS)

1178
00:44:48,771 --> 00:44:50,022
Emma! It's Emma.

1179
00:44:50,105 --> 00:44:52,649
Oh, my God, you
guys are alive.

1180
00:44:52,733 --> 00:44:54,985
You're actually alive.
Thank God!

1181
00:44:55,069 --> 00:44:57,821
I hid in a drainpipe for days.

1182
00:44:57,905 --> 00:45:00,783
Like, three or four. I
don't even know how many.

1183
00:45:00,866 --> 00:45:02,368
And then I stopped
hearing people,

1184
00:45:02,451 --> 00:45:04,119
and I started hearing
growling noises.

1185
00:45:04,203 --> 00:45:07,581
Out there, in
your travels, uh,

1186
00:45:07,664 --> 00:45:08,957
did you see anything
that you would describe

1187
00:45:09,041 --> 00:45:10,542
as Apocalyptish?

1188
00:45:10,626 --> 00:45:12,378
I mean, no,

1189
00:45:12,461 --> 00:45:17,257
but, uh, I would say it's completely
obvious what's going on here.

1190
00:45:17,341 --> 00:45:19,885
I mean, it's a
zombie invasion.

1191
00:45:19,968 --> 00:45:21,595
Fuck! Danny: I'm the one who
said it's been zombies.

1192
00:45:21,720 --> 00:45:23,430
You said zombies? I said
zombies the whole time.

1193
00:45:23,555 --> 00:45:25,836
You said zombies? I don't think...
You never said zombies.

1194
00:45:25,891 --> 00:45:27,935
Wait a second. You guys
haven't been proven right.

1195
00:45:28,018 --> 00:45:29,228
These are still just theories.

1196
00:45:29,311 --> 00:45:31,897
Honestly, I'm just so relieved
that you guys are here,

1197
00:45:31,980 --> 00:45:34,983
and I'm very happy about the
idea of sleeping and just...

1198
00:45:35,067 --> 00:45:36,068
You tired? Yeah.

1199
00:45:36,151 --> 00:45:38,904
If you want to take
a little rest,

1200
00:45:38,987 --> 00:45:40,989
you're welcome to
do that upstairs.

1201
00:45:41,073 --> 00:45:42,366
Thank you. Cool.

1202
00:45:42,449 --> 00:45:43,992
James: I'll show you the way.
Emma: Thank you.

1203
00:45:44,076 --> 00:45:45,994
Thanks, guys. Seriously,
you're awesome, really.

1204
00:45:46,078 --> 00:45:47,621
You're awesome. (CHUCKLES)

1205
00:45:48,288 --> 00:45:49,498
So fucking tight.

1206
00:45:49,581 --> 00:45:51,834
We'll be right out here, okay?

1207
00:45:53,335 --> 00:45:54,420
(WHISPERS) Fuck are you
guys doing out here?

1208
00:45:54,503 --> 00:45:56,713
Here's what I think we should do.
She's British, right?

1209
00:45:56,797 --> 00:45:58,507
She's used to eating
shitty food anyway.

1210
00:45:58,590 --> 00:46:00,467
Let's just give her all the
shitty food that we don't want.

1211
00:46:00,551 --> 00:46:02,094
That's fucked up.
Look how tiny she is.

1212
00:46:02,177 --> 00:46:04,096
She's not even a full seven.
She's, like, half a seven.

1213
00:46:04,179 --> 00:46:05,513
This is a fucking
cool thing, man.

1214
00:46:05,514 --> 00:46:06,849
I, for one, am very excited.

1215
00:46:06,932 --> 00:46:08,767
I'm a massive
Harry <i>Potter</i> fan.

1216
00:46:08,851 --> 00:46:10,936
What? Yes. I love
fucking <i>Harry</i> Potter.

1217
00:46:11,019 --> 00:46:12,438
I cannot wait
till she wakes up

1218
00:46:12,521 --> 00:46:14,189
and I can ask her all these
amazing questions about

1219
00:46:14,273 --> 00:46:15,482
how they made those
motion pictures.

1220
00:46:15,566 --> 00:46:16,608
Take it easy, Dumbledore.

1221
00:46:16,692 --> 00:46:19,570
Guys, listen, listen.
I think we need to

1222
00:46:19,653 --> 00:46:21,363
address the elephant
in the room.

1223
00:46:21,447 --> 00:46:23,198
Whoa. Jay, don't talk
about Craig like that.

1224
00:46:23,282 --> 00:46:24,825
That's fucked up. I'm
right here, man. Yeah.

1225
00:46:24,908 --> 00:46:27,035
I'm not calling
Craig an elephant.

1226
00:46:27,119 --> 00:46:29,203
Wow, that's fucking weird.
What does that even mean?

1227
00:46:29,204 --> 00:46:30,456
Jay: Yeah, no. That's racist.

1228
00:46:30,539 --> 00:46:31,623
I wasn't referring to him.

1229
00:46:31,707 --> 00:46:35,127
I was referring to the issue
that's on all of our minds.

1230
00:46:35,210 --> 00:46:36,462
What?

1231
00:46:36,545 --> 00:46:39,882
This is one girl in a
house with six males.

1232
00:46:39,965 --> 00:46:41,133
Yeah. Really safe.

1233
00:46:41,216 --> 00:46:42,301
Idealscenaﬂo.

1234
00:46:42,384 --> 00:46:43,469
She's like a little sister.

1235
00:46:43,552 --> 00:46:45,012
I think that she needs...

1236
00:46:45,095 --> 00:46:46,805
It's important that
she feels safe.

1237
00:46:46,889 --> 00:46:48,348
Yeah. And comfortable.

1238
00:46:48,432 --> 00:46:49,808
And we should be mindful.

1239
00:46:49,892 --> 00:46:51,185
Who's making her
not feel safe?

1240
00:46:51,268 --> 00:46:52,728
Well, I'm just
saying, we should...

1241
00:46:52,811 --> 00:46:55,147
We don't want to
give off a bad vibe.

1242
00:46:55,230 --> 00:46:56,773
Vibe? Vibes? I ain't
giving no vibes.

1243
00:46:56,857 --> 00:46:58,484
Yeah, wait, what kind of vibes
are you talking about, man?

1244
00:46:58,567 --> 00:47:00,444
He's talking about us
giving off a rapey vibe.

1245
00:47:00,527 --> 00:47:02,112
Hey! Shh! Jonah: Whoa! What?

1246
00:47:02,237 --> 00:47:04,031
Jesus. Jay, what the fuck, man?

1247
00:47:04,114 --> 00:47:05,282
Chill out, dude.

1248
00:47:05,365 --> 00:47:07,242
Why you putting that
shit in the mix? Yeah.

1249
00:47:07,326 --> 00:47:09,086
He fucking said it.
You're the one saying it.

1250
00:47:09,161 --> 00:47:10,620
No one here is thinking
about raping anyone.

1251
00:47:10,621 --> 00:47:12,289
Shh! Well, you
talking about vibes

1252
00:47:12,372 --> 00:47:15,209
is the only thing that's
rapey going on right now.

1253
00:47:15,292 --> 00:47:17,211
Dude, nothing was rapey till you
brought up the rapey vibes.

1254
00:47:17,294 --> 00:47:19,296
Fucking one who smelt it dealt it, dawg.
True that, dude.

1255
00:47:19,379 --> 00:47:20,756
One who denies it suppfiesit

1256
00:47:20,839 --> 00:47:22,841
I know, it's farts, I get it.

1257
00:47:22,925 --> 00:47:24,092
<i>Guys, GUYS, GUYS-</i>

1258
00:47:24,176 --> 00:47:25,761
Jay's not rapey.

1259
00:47:26,220 --> 00:47:27,262
Jay couldn't rape a fly.

1260
00:47:27,346 --> 00:47:29,097
Seth: He probably could.

1261
00:47:29,181 --> 00:47:31,058
Maybe we should just stop this
entire conversation right now.

1262
00:47:31,141 --> 00:47:32,851
If anyone's gonna
rape anyone here,

1263
00:47:32,935 --> 00:47:34,228
it's probably gonna be Danny.

1264
00:47:34,311 --> 00:47:35,729
What the fuck, Franco? What?

1265
00:47:35,812 --> 00:47:37,189
Why do you think I'm
gonna rape somebody?

1266
00:47:37,272 --> 00:47:39,149
I'm just trying to
lay it out there.

1267
00:47:39,233 --> 00:47:40,691
I'm not gonna rape
anyone, all right?

1268
00:47:40,692 --> 00:47:41,984
If anyone's gonna rape
somebody, it's Jay.

1269
00:47:41,985 --> 00:47:43,612
Jay: What? Danny: He came
up with the rape idea.

1270
00:47:43,695 --> 00:47:44,863
And his face looks
like the police sketch

1271
00:47:44,947 --> 00:47:46,073
of a fucking rapist.
James: True.

1272
00:47:46,156 --> 00:47:47,366
What the fuck does that mean?

1273
00:47:47,449 --> 00:47:49,034
If anybody's raping
Emma Watson,

1274
00:47:49,117 --> 00:47:50,244
it's fucking Sir
Rapes-a-Lot over here.

1275
00:47:50,369 --> 00:47:51,453
Chill out. Emma: Hey!

1276
00:47:51,662 --> 00:47:52,788
ALL: Whoa!

1277
00:47:52,871 --> 00:47:53,872
Easy. Easy.

1278
00:47:53,956 --> 00:47:55,040
Back the fuck up!

1279
00:47:55,123 --> 00:47:56,416
Emma. What's wrong?

1280
00:47:56,500 --> 00:47:57,543
Wait, what's wrong?
What's wrong?

1281
00:47:57,626 --> 00:47:58,752
I just heard you
guys talking about

1282
00:47:58,835 --> 00:48:00,337
which one of you is
gonna get to rape me.

1283
00:48:00,420 --> 00:48:01,797
ALL: No, no, no, no!

1284
00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:03,340
Guys, I got it. I got it.

1285
00:48:03,423 --> 00:48:05,676
No. It's funny. It's funny.

1286
00:48:05,759 --> 00:48:07,636
We were specifically talking
about not raping you.

1287
00:48:07,719 --> 00:48:08,887
(SCREAMS)

1288
00:48:08,971 --> 00:48:10,097
Jesus! Holy shit!

1289
00:48:10,180 --> 00:48:11,932
Emma: Back up!

1290
00:48:12,474 --> 00:48:13,976
(CLAMORING) It's me, Jonah!

1291
00:48:14,059 --> 00:48:15,519
It's me, Jonah Hill.

1292
00:48:15,602 --> 00:48:18,146
America's sweetheart.
J-bug, J-bone.

1293
00:48:18,272 --> 00:48:19,815
Your friend. I would never hurt you.
Get back!

1294
00:48:20,023 --> 00:48:21,316
(ALL CLAMORING)

1295
00:48:21,733 --> 00:48:23,735
Give me everything you have to drink!
Put it in the bag!

1296
00:48:23,819 --> 00:48:25,612
There's six of us.
You cannot rob us!

1297
00:48:25,696 --> 00:48:26,905
I'm not fucking around!

1298
00:48:28,198 --> 00:48:29,700
Give her drinks!
Give her drinks!

1299
00:48:29,783 --> 00:48:31,200
Put the drinks in a bag!
(CLAMORING)

1300
00:48:31,201 --> 00:48:33,287
Oh, God. Get all the
drinks in a bag!

1301
00:48:33,370 --> 00:48:34,663
Hurry the fuck up!

1302
00:48:34,746 --> 00:48:36,038
Okay, they're
getting the drinks.

1303
00:48:36,039 --> 00:48:38,083
Put the ax down. Don't
give the Milky Way away.

1304
00:48:38,166 --> 00:48:40,085
All right, you can
put the ax down now.

1305
00:48:40,168 --> 00:48:41,335
Now, Franco! Shoot her face!

1306
00:48:41,336 --> 00:48:42,421
Shoot her!

1307
00:48:42,504 --> 00:48:44,089
I'm not gonna shoot
Emma Watson!

1308
00:48:44,172 --> 00:48:45,799
Look, Emma, just
stay here with us.

1309
00:48:45,882 --> 00:48:47,509
It's a lot safer
than out there.

1310
00:48:47,676 --> 00:48:49,845
(YELLS)

1311
00:48:50,679 --> 00:48:52,139
(FIRE CRACKLING)

1312
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:56,101
<i>Hermione just stole
all of our shit.</i>

1313
00:48:56,184 --> 00:48:59,896
<i>Little bitty-ass
20-year-old jacked us.</i>

1314
00:48:59,980 --> 00:49:03,275
<i>And then Jay suggested that we all
rape her, and now she's gone.</i>

1315
00:49:03,358 --> 00:49:05,694
<i>I didn't... I was just... I...</i>

1316
00:49:05,777 --> 00:49:08,864
<i>I think the only reason why he
did that is because Jay knows</i>

1317
00:49:08,947 --> 00:49:10,365
<i>he's about fucking
two minutes away</i>

1318
00:49:10,449 --> 00:49:12,034
<i>from becoming the
house bitch himself.</i>

1319
00:49:12,117 --> 00:49:16,038
<i>So now, motherfuckers
is thirsty.</i>

1320
00:49:16,413 --> 00:49:18,123
All right, GUYS.

1321
00:49:18,206 --> 00:49:19,958
The door to the
basement's out there,

1322
00:49:20,042 --> 00:49:21,460
around the side of the house.

1323
00:49:21,543 --> 00:49:24,838
I know for sure there's at
least two jugs of water.

1324
00:49:24,921 --> 00:49:26,381
Okay.

1325
00:49:26,465 --> 00:49:27,466
Uh...

1326
00:49:28,342 --> 00:49:29,635
Any volunteers?

1327
00:49:29,718 --> 00:49:31,519
Does anyone want to
volunteer and go with Jay?

1328
00:49:31,595 --> 00:49:32,638
What?

1329
00:49:32,721 --> 00:49:34,640
I thought you said, "Someone
volunteer to go with me out there."

1330
00:49:34,723 --> 00:49:35,724
I must have misheard you.

1331
00:49:35,849 --> 00:49:37,768
I'm sorry. You did
not, you motherfucker.

1332
00:49:37,851 --> 00:49:39,227
Seth: Hey, okay, ease up.

1333
00:49:39,311 --> 00:49:41,897
Just chill out, dude.
Just relax, man. God.

1334
00:49:41,980 --> 00:49:43,815
So how we gonna
decide this, fellas?

1335
00:49:43,899 --> 00:49:46,276
Seth: All right,
guys, it's simple.

1336
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:49,780
Whoever pulls the burnt match
has to go get the water.

1337
00:49:57,996 --> 00:50:00,916
Who wants to go first?

1338
00:50:01,958 --> 00:50:03,210
I'll do it.

1339
00:50:03,293 --> 00:50:04,419
James: Craig.

1340
00:50:04,503 --> 00:50:06,088
All right.

1341
00:50:07,089 --> 00:50:08,507
Go ahead, brother.

1342
00:50:13,970 --> 00:50:15,263
(GROANS)

1343
00:50:15,347 --> 00:50:16,765
No whammies, no whammies.

1344
00:50:16,848 --> 00:50:19,601
Danny: Hey, hey. Seth: Yes!
Yeah!

1345
00:50:19,685 --> 00:50:21,520
Yes!

1346
00:50:21,645 --> 00:50:23,772
Jay: Wooh! Seth:
Fuck, yes.Fuck, yes.

1347
00:50:23,855 --> 00:50:25,899
So sorry, Craig. James:
A lot of guys in here

1348
00:50:25,982 --> 00:50:27,303
that I wish it was
instead of you.

1349
00:50:28,735 --> 00:50:30,487
You want to go best
two out of three?

1350
00:50:30,570 --> 00:50:34,074
If I tug, if I pull in anyway,
or if you hear me screaming,

1351
00:50:34,157 --> 00:50:36,576
anything, you pull me
right back in, all right?

1352
00:50:36,660 --> 00:50:38,495
Yeah. We'll try, man, but
you're pretty heavy.

1353
00:50:39,121 --> 00:50:40,288
What?

1354
00:50:40,372 --> 00:50:43,125
No, I mean, I'm saying, I
just don't think it's smart

1355
00:50:43,208 --> 00:50:44,626
to make any guarantees.
Fuck, no.

1356
00:50:44,710 --> 00:50:46,420
You promise to pull me back in.
No, no, we're...

1357
00:50:46,503 --> 00:50:47,670
You got me? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1358
00:50:47,671 --> 00:50:49,047
We're gonna do our best.
All right.

1359
00:50:49,131 --> 00:50:50,716
You want to do a test run? Yeah.

1360
00:50:50,799 --> 00:50:52,400
You gotta scream. Let
us hear the scream.

1361
00:50:52,592 --> 00:50:54,094
(SCREAMS WEAKLY) Pull.

1362
00:50:54,177 --> 00:50:55,595
Nice. Very nice.

1363
00:50:55,679 --> 00:50:56,805
Everyone thank Craig
for doing this.

1364
00:50:56,888 --> 00:50:58,640
Thanks, Craig.
Thank you, Craig.

1365
00:50:58,724 --> 00:50:59,725
Go for it, Craig.

1366
00:50:59,808 --> 00:51:01,810
Getting smoky in here.
Go, go, go, go.

1367
00:51:05,439 --> 00:51:07,149
(FIRE CRACKLING)
This is fucked up.

1368
00:51:17,826 --> 00:51:19,661
Goddamn.

1369
00:51:19,745 --> 00:51:21,747
Smoky as fuck out here.

1370
00:51:27,127 --> 00:51:28,253
(FOOTSTEPS RUNNING)

1371
00:51:30,839 --> 00:51:32,090
(CREATURE GROWLING) (GASPS)

1372
00:51:34,342 --> 00:51:36,219
(GROWLING CONTINUES)

1373
00:51:40,682 --> 00:51:41,725
Rope burn! Ah! Ooh!

1374
00:51:41,808 --> 00:51:43,477
Grab it, grab it, grab it!

1375
00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:44,811
Oh, no, no, no, no!

1376
00:51:44,895 --> 00:51:45,937
Shit. Oh, no.

1377
00:51:46,021 --> 00:51:48,023
Shit. Shit.

1378
00:51:53,528 --> 00:51:55,155
(CREATURE ROARING)

1379
00:51:56,740 --> 00:51:57,991
Come on, motherfucker. Shit!

1380
00:51:59,743 --> 00:52:00,994
(CREATURE GROWLING)

1381
00:52:01,077 --> 00:52:02,579
Fuck this shit.

1382
00:52:03,497 --> 00:52:05,123
(CREATURE ROARING)

1383
00:52:07,375 --> 00:52:08,418
(GRUNTS)

1384
00:52:08,502 --> 00:52:11,338
Fellas, fellas! Pull me in!
Pull the rope!

1385
00:52:11,421 --> 00:52:13,006
Pull me in! We don't
have the rope anymore!

1386
00:52:13,089 --> 00:52:14,465
We fucking dropped it!
We're sorry!

1387
00:52:14,466 --> 00:52:15,634
You've got the rope, man!

1388
00:52:15,717 --> 00:52:17,052
What?

1389
00:52:18,595 --> 00:52:20,597
(CREATURE ROARING)

1390
00:52:21,097 --> 00:52:22,598
(SCREAMING)

1391
00:52:22,599 --> 00:52:24,267
Craig! What the fuck do we do?

1392
00:52:24,351 --> 00:52:26,102
Craig! Craig!

1393
00:52:26,186 --> 00:52:27,813
(SCREAMS)

1394
00:52:27,896 --> 00:52:28,897
Seth: Are you okay?

1395
00:52:28,980 --> 00:52:29,981
What happened, man?

1396
00:52:30,065 --> 00:52:31,705
I don't know! There's
something out there.

1397
00:52:32,859 --> 00:52:34,110
(SCREAMS)

1398
00:52:35,445 --> 00:52:36,613
Oh, shit!

1399
00:52:36,696 --> 00:52:38,281
(CLAMORING)

1400
00:52:39,741 --> 00:52:41,785
A knife! Somebody
throw me a knife!

1401
00:52:41,868 --> 00:52:43,161
I'll get it.

1402
00:52:44,955 --> 00:52:46,748
(SCREAMING)

1403
00:52:46,832 --> 00:52:49,084
Why? OMG.

1404
00:52:49,167 --> 00:52:50,669
Jay, I'm so sorry, bro.

1405
00:52:50,752 --> 00:52:51,753
The fuck?

1406
00:52:52,504 --> 00:52:53,505
(SCREAMS)

1407
00:52:53,588 --> 00:52:55,108
Cut it! Cut it! Cut it!
Cut it! Cut it!

1408
00:52:55,173 --> 00:52:56,341
(CREATURE ROARING)

1409
00:52:56,424 --> 00:52:58,969
God! What the fuck was that?

1410
00:52:59,052 --> 00:53:00,178
I don't know what
the fuck that was,

1411
00:53:00,262 --> 00:53:01,388
but I ain't going
back out there.

1412
00:53:01,471 --> 00:53:02,556
Craig, you didn't even
get any of the water.

1413
00:53:02,639 --> 00:53:03,640
The door was fucked up.

1414
00:53:03,723 --> 00:53:05,892
Damn it, this is
so frustrating!

1415
00:53:05,976 --> 00:53:08,228
It's so close, but so far.

1416
00:53:08,311 --> 00:53:11,398
The water, it's, like,
right underneath us.

1417
00:53:11,481 --> 00:53:13,108
Like, right there.

1418
00:53:13,191 --> 00:53:15,944
What do you mean
"right underneath us"?

1419
00:53:16,027 --> 00:53:19,322
Like, literally,
like, right there.

1420
00:53:19,406 --> 00:53:21,032
If you went right
through the floor.

1421
00:53:33,253 --> 00:53:34,671
Yo.

1422
00:53:34,754 --> 00:53:39,175
Danny and Jonah's shift ends in ten
minutes, so our break is almost over.

1423
00:53:39,759 --> 00:53:41,177
Okay.

1424
00:53:41,386 --> 00:53:42,637
Let me ask you something.

1425
00:53:44,180 --> 00:53:46,641
You really think this is

1426
00:53:46,725 --> 00:53:48,184
the Apocalypse?

1427
00:53:48,268 --> 00:53:50,770
You saw something out
there, didn't you?

1428
00:53:50,854 --> 00:53:56,276
All right, let's just say for
sake of argument, what if I did?

1429
00:53:56,359 --> 00:53:58,486
What if this is the real
shit, right now, happening?

1430
00:53:59,487 --> 00:54:01,948
What if it is, man? We're
not prepared for this.

1431
00:54:02,073 --> 00:54:03,993
What do we do? What's next?
It says in the Bible,

1432
00:54:04,075 --> 00:54:05,994
"The worthy will
ascend to Heaven."

1433
00:54:06,077 --> 00:54:11,291
Even if it is the Apocalypse,
it's not the end of us.

1434
00:54:11,374 --> 00:54:12,918
There's still hope.

1435
00:54:13,001 --> 00:54:16,254
We just have to somehow try
to prove our worthiness.

1436
00:54:16,338 --> 00:54:18,590
Craig: Okay, so,
you mean, like,

1437
00:54:18,673 --> 00:54:22,135
like the Ten Commandments,
like, do shit unto people

1438
00:54:22,218 --> 00:54:23,458
that'll do the
same shit to you.

1439
00:54:23,511 --> 00:54:25,221
That's a great place to start.

1440
00:54:25,305 --> 00:54:26,723
You know, to just
overall love.

1441
00:54:26,806 --> 00:54:29,893
Just be nicer and follow
those commandments.

1442
00:54:29,976 --> 00:54:32,270
Listen. We're gonna
get through this.

1443
00:54:32,354 --> 00:54:33,675
We're gonna get
through this, man.

1444
00:54:33,730 --> 00:54:36,399
You know why? 'Cause we're
gonna do it together.

1445
00:54:36,483 --> 00:54:37,692
You promise?

1446
00:54:37,776 --> 00:54:39,027
We're gonna do this.

1447
00:54:40,737 --> 00:54:42,781
(WHISPERS) I hear everything.

1448
00:54:52,916 --> 00:54:54,834
James: Who did this?

1449
00:54:54,918 --> 00:54:56,294
Who did this?

1450
00:54:56,378 --> 00:54:58,588
Did what? What are
you talking about?

1451
00:54:58,672 --> 00:55:01,299
Jizzed all over the pages
of this nice magazine

1452
00:55:01,383 --> 00:55:03,301
I was nice enough
to tell you about.

1453
00:55:03,385 --> 00:55:05,053
Was it you, Seth?

1454
00:55:05,136 --> 00:55:06,262
No.

1455
00:55:06,346 --> 00:55:07,764
No? It was me, Franco.

1456
00:55:07,847 --> 00:55:09,975
I fucking madejizz
in your magazine.

1457
00:55:10,058 --> 00:55:11,851
Why? When I fucking Jack off

1458
00:55:11,935 --> 00:55:13,645
long enough, I end
upjizzing, dude.

1459
00:55:13,728 --> 00:55:16,272
I'm assuming the same
shit works for you?

1460
00:55:16,356 --> 00:55:18,984
Real fucking smart answer! Why
don't you fucking aim, huh?

1461
00:55:19,067 --> 00:55:22,278
I have a particularly explosive ejaculate.
It just goes everywhere.

1462
00:55:22,362 --> 00:55:24,239
It's like a fucking
wild fireman's hose.

1463
00:55:24,322 --> 00:55:25,865
You just got to grab
on and pray to God

1464
00:55:25,949 --> 00:55:27,283
it doesn't get in your
eyes or your mouth.

1465
00:55:27,367 --> 00:55:28,994
The fuck kind of
jerking off is that?

1466
00:55:29,077 --> 00:55:30,078
What, you never
had any brothers?

1467
00:55:30,161 --> 00:55:32,761
You didn't learn to jizz in a fucking
sock or on a fucking tissue?

1468
00:55:32,831 --> 00:55:34,582
No, I don't have any brothers.

1469
00:55:34,666 --> 00:55:36,126
I was raised in a
house of women!

1470
00:55:36,209 --> 00:55:37,961
I highly doubt they
fucking taught you

1471
00:55:38,044 --> 00:55:40,672
to fucking close your eyes and
fucking cum wherever you want!

1472
00:55:40,755 --> 00:55:41,798
I mean, you're getting
all worked up

1473
00:55:41,881 --> 00:55:43,425
over a fucking porno mag!

1474
00:55:43,508 --> 00:55:45,760
Who has goddamn
porno mags anymore?

1475
00:55:45,844 --> 00:55:48,179
Welcome to the 21 st
century, Buck Rogers!

1476
00:55:48,263 --> 00:55:51,099
You designed a house with
fucking iPads in the walls,

1477
00:55:51,182 --> 00:55:53,601
yet you're jerking your dick
like a goddamn pilgrim!

1478
00:55:53,685 --> 00:55:56,187
That's right, man. I
like to fucking read!

1479
00:55:56,271 --> 00:55:58,314
You think that's the only
thing ljerked off in here?

1480
00:55:58,398 --> 00:56:00,399
I've been dropping loads
around this fucking house

1481
00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:01,609
like a goddamn dump truck.

1482
00:56:01,693 --> 00:56:03,153
You don't cum on my stuff!

1483
00:56:03,236 --> 00:56:04,837
I'll cum wherever the
fuck I want, James.

1484
00:56:04,904 --> 00:56:06,197
I'll fucking cum
in your kitchen.

1485
00:56:06,281 --> 00:56:07,490
I'll cum on your fucking art.

1486
00:56:07,574 --> 00:56:09,117
I'll cum anywhere I want!

1487
00:56:09,200 --> 00:56:10,869
I will fucking cum
right on you!

1488
00:56:10,952 --> 00:56:13,329
I will cum like a fucking
madman all over you, McBride!

1489
00:56:13,413 --> 00:56:16,166
Ooh. I fucking wish you'd
cum on me right now.

1490
00:56:16,249 --> 00:56:17,584
I fucking dare you
to cum on me!

1491
00:56:17,667 --> 00:56:20,086
(GRUNTING) God!

1492
00:56:20,170 --> 00:56:22,380
I'm gonna Jack my dick
so fucking hard in here!

1493
00:56:22,464 --> 00:56:25,008
This, no more, man. All
over your fucking face.

1494
00:56:25,091 --> 00:56:27,135
This fucking all more. All
over the fucking place!

1495
00:56:27,218 --> 00:56:28,845
I'll fucking cum
anywhere I want!

1496
00:56:28,928 --> 00:56:30,221
I'll fucking cum
on these walls!

1497
00:56:30,305 --> 00:56:31,806
I'll cum on the
fucking cabinets!

1498
00:56:31,890 --> 00:56:33,433
On the fucking furniture!
I'll cum everywhere!

1499
00:56:33,516 --> 00:56:35,268
If I see your dick
one more time,

1500
00:56:35,351 --> 00:56:36,728
I'm gonna fucking
shoot it off!

1501
00:56:36,811 --> 00:56:38,605
You don't have enough
bullets, bitch.

1502
00:56:38,688 --> 00:56:41,191
No fucking jerking off
in my house, McBride!

1503
00:56:44,235 --> 00:56:45,945
Come on, man. Fuck this.

1504
00:56:46,029 --> 00:56:47,697
I'm just... I'm too
thirsty to do this.

1505
00:56:47,781 --> 00:56:48,990
And the fucking
bitter irony is

1506
00:56:49,074 --> 00:56:51,366
I'm not gonna have my thirst
quenched until I finish this.

1507
00:56:51,367 --> 00:56:52,869
God damn it, I hate it.
Danny, no.

1508
00:56:52,952 --> 00:56:54,370
Don't walk away. Danny,
don't walk away from me!

1509
00:56:54,454 --> 00:56:57,499
It's too late, Seth. I've
already walked away too much.

1510
00:56:57,582 --> 00:56:59,334
No, you haven't. You
could still come back

1511
00:56:59,417 --> 00:57:01,961
and just fucking turn around
and come back and help me.

1512
00:57:03,963 --> 00:57:05,173
Danny?

1513
00:57:05,882 --> 00:57:07,092
Daniel?

1514
00:57:16,351 --> 00:57:17,685
Need a hand?

1515
00:57:18,269 --> 00:57:19,562
Yeah, dude.

1516
00:57:19,646 --> 00:57:20,687
Your shift just ended, man.

1517
00:57:20,688 --> 00:57:22,065
You don't have to help
me if you don't want to.

1518
00:57:22,148 --> 00:57:23,316
It's fine, I get it.

1519
00:57:23,399 --> 00:57:25,151
The fuck else am I doing?

1520
00:57:25,235 --> 00:57:27,362
I appreciate it, man.
Thank you.

1521
00:57:27,445 --> 00:57:28,863
Done and done. That's cool.

1522
00:57:35,203 --> 00:57:37,747
I don't know why I'm thinking
of this, but remember that time

1523
00:57:37,831 --> 00:57:41,626
that I got you a fucking
Taco Bell gift certificate

1524
00:57:41,709 --> 00:57:43,419
for, like, 20 bucks,
and I bet you

1525
00:57:43,503 --> 00:57:45,463
that you couldn't eat all
of that in one sitting.

1526
00:57:45,547 --> 00:57:47,340
I do remember that. I
remember thinking,

1527
00:57:47,423 --> 00:57:48,663
"How much food
could 20 dollars"

1528
00:57:48,716 --> 00:57:50,093
"possibly buy you
at Taco Bell?"

1529
00:57:50,176 --> 00:57:51,594
And the answer is infinite.

1530
00:57:51,678 --> 00:57:53,680
And we went to see
fucking Gladiator.

1531
00:57:53,763 --> 00:57:54,806
Yeah.

1532
00:57:54,889 --> 00:57:57,308
And you sharted midway
through the movie.

1533
00:57:57,392 --> 00:57:59,060
I did. Due to the
tigers' appearance.

1534
00:57:59,144 --> 00:58:00,687
I got scared of the tigers.
Yeah.

1535
00:58:00,770 --> 00:58:02,230
Literally, when the second
tiger came out, I went...

1536
00:58:02,313 --> 00:58:03,772
(MIMICS FART NOISE).
And then I shat.

1537
00:58:03,773 --> 00:58:05,066
I shat in the theater.

1538
00:58:05,233 --> 00:58:06,401
(LAUGHS)

1539
00:58:07,110 --> 00:58:08,236
(BOTH SCREAMING)

1540
00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:10,530
(BOTH GROANING)

1541
00:58:12,073 --> 00:58:14,075
Jesus. Oh, fuck.

1542
00:58:14,159 --> 00:58:15,577
You guys Okay?

1543
00:58:15,660 --> 00:58:17,287
I broke my ass in half. Here.

1544
00:58:17,370 --> 00:58:18,872
Shit, they got through!

1545
00:58:18,955 --> 00:58:21,166
You guys fucking did it.
Oh, my God.

1546
00:58:21,249 --> 00:58:22,250
Fuck. Did that hurt?

1547
00:58:22,333 --> 00:58:23,585
Seth: Oh, yes,
it fucking hurt.

1548
00:58:23,668 --> 00:58:25,670
Iloosened this up for
you, I'll have you know.

1549
00:58:25,753 --> 00:58:27,547
Okay, just shut up. It's
fucking dark down here.

1550
00:58:27,630 --> 00:58:30,091
Hold on, hold on.

1551
00:58:30,967 --> 00:58:32,051
Nice.

1552
00:58:32,177 --> 00:58:34,095
Okay, good. Thank you.
What is that?

1553
00:58:34,179 --> 00:58:36,848
That's Terrence Peterson. My
monkey flashlight keychain.

1554
00:58:36,973 --> 00:58:38,641
Monkey flashlight keychain?
Mmm-hmm.

1555
00:58:38,725 --> 00:58:40,268
What's his name?
Terrence Peterson.

1556
00:58:40,351 --> 00:58:41,769
You see it, Seth? No. Where...

1557
00:58:41,853 --> 00:58:43,146
Are you sure it's
even down here?

1558
00:58:43,229 --> 00:58:44,272
Terry Pete.

1559
00:58:44,355 --> 00:58:45,690
Uh, not sure.

1560
00:58:45,773 --> 00:58:47,066
Jay: Is there, is there
any weird shit down here?

1561
00:58:47,150 --> 00:58:50,028
Nah, it's where I keep all
my stuff from my old movies.

1562
00:58:50,111 --> 00:58:51,362
Costumes, props.

1563
00:59:01,623 --> 00:59:02,624
(BOTH SCREAM)

1564
00:59:02,707 --> 00:59:04,292
What? Is someone down there?

1565
00:59:04,375 --> 00:59:07,545
It's your fucking stupid
cutout from Spider-Man 3.

1566
00:59:07,629 --> 00:59:09,172
Jesus Christ.

1567
00:59:09,255 --> 00:59:10,298
No shit!

1568
00:59:10,381 --> 00:59:11,466
Jay: There it is! Seth: Yes!
Yeah!

1569
00:59:11,549 --> 00:59:13,468
What, did you find it?
Seth: Yeah!

1570
00:59:14,010 --> 00:59:15,470
(CHEERING)

1571
00:59:15,553 --> 00:59:17,055
<i>♪ LA-da-da-da-dah</i>

1572
00:59:17,138 --> 00:59:19,140
<i>♪ It's the motherfucking
D-O-double-G</i>

1573
00:59:19,224 --> 00:59:20,558
<i>♪ Snoop D099!</i>

1574
00:59:20,642 --> 00:59:22,060
♪ LA-da-da-da-dahh

1575
00:59:22,143 --> 00:59:24,354
<i>♪ You know I'm mobbin'
with the D.R.E. a'</i>

1576
00:59:24,604 --> 00:59:25,730
Water.

1577
00:59:25,813 --> 00:59:27,065
(WHOOPS)

1578
00:59:27,315 --> 00:59:28,900
Mmm!

1579
00:59:28,983 --> 00:59:31,069
That is so fucking good.

1580
00:59:31,152 --> 00:59:32,612
The two heroes over here,
breaking through the floor.

1581
00:59:32,695 --> 00:59:34,197
We did break
through the floor.

1582
00:59:34,280 --> 00:59:36,199
Any of you guys would
have done the same thing.

1583
00:59:36,282 --> 00:59:38,618
Seth: Oh, man.
That fucking hurt.

1584
00:59:38,701 --> 00:59:40,828
Jay: Yeah, I'm surprised
you didn't shart again.

1585
00:59:40,912 --> 00:59:42,080
Seth: I think I did.

1586
00:59:42,163 --> 00:59:43,998
Hey, what year is this? 19...

1587
00:59:44,082 --> 00:59:45,749
Seth: That's a good...
That's a good year.

1588
00:59:45,750 --> 00:59:47,043
Hey, hey. Yo, yo, yo!

1589
00:59:47,126 --> 00:59:48,795
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
What are you doing?

1590
00:59:48,878 --> 00:59:49,963
What am I doing?

1591
00:59:50,046 --> 00:59:51,256
(CLAMORING)

1592
00:59:51,339 --> 00:59:52,757
Fuck, man.

1593
00:59:52,840 --> 00:59:54,759
I'm just pouring myself
another glass of water

1594
00:59:54,842 --> 00:59:56,803
to wash down that dry-ass
Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

1595
00:59:56,886 --> 00:59:58,137
That's very nice,
but you can't just

1596
00:59:58,221 --> 00:59:59,861
pour yourself another
glass of water, man!

1597
00:59:59,931 --> 01:00:01,015
Will you cut it out?

1598
01:00:01,099 --> 01:00:03,351
Yeah. We agreed to
one glass at dinner,

1599
01:00:03,434 --> 01:00:04,602
we voted on it, man.

1600
01:00:04,686 --> 01:00:05,937
Well, man, I'm just
getting sick and tired

1601
01:00:06,020 --> 01:00:07,355
of all these fucking
rules, man.

1602
01:00:07,438 --> 01:00:08,856
You don't see me putting
rules on you guys.

1603
01:00:08,940 --> 01:00:11,276
You cannot have another
glass of water.

1604
01:00:11,359 --> 01:00:13,403
Jay weighs 150
pounds less than me.

1605
01:00:13,486 --> 01:00:15,363
Why the fuck is it fair

1606
01:00:15,446 --> 01:00:17,323
that him and I should drink
the same amount of water?

1607
01:00:17,407 --> 01:00:19,117
We should be
dividing our rations

1608
01:00:19,200 --> 01:00:21,077
based on our
proportionate size.

1609
01:00:21,160 --> 01:00:23,621
I don't want to come off as
a diva here or anything.

1610
01:00:23,705 --> 01:00:24,956
It's just that I
think everyone

1611
01:00:25,039 --> 01:00:26,332
should split
everything equally.

1612
01:00:26,416 --> 01:00:28,584
"I just think that everybody
should have the fucking same.

1613
01:00:28,668 --> 01:00:30,753
"I have a goddamn earring."
Shut the fuck up, Jonah!

1614
01:00:30,837 --> 01:00:32,547
James: You know what, Danny?
If you weren'tjizzing

1615
01:00:32,630 --> 01:00:34,465
all the time, maybe
you'd be more hydrated.

1616
01:00:34,549 --> 01:00:36,175
You're making me into a
joke right now, Franco,

1617
01:00:36,259 --> 01:00:38,052
and you are not gonna like
the fucking punch line.

1618
01:00:38,136 --> 01:00:41,055
No more jerking off! No more water!
Just sit the fuck down!

1619
01:00:41,139 --> 01:00:42,432
Okay, I'm done.

1620
01:00:42,515 --> 01:00:43,725
We're not gonna have
any more water.

1621
01:00:43,808 --> 01:00:44,809
Good. All right.

1622
01:00:46,811 --> 01:00:48,396
Hey!

1623
01:00:48,479 --> 01:00:49,856
(CLAMORING)

1624
01:00:55,653 --> 01:00:57,405
Seth: Someone help me!
Fucking grab it!

1625
01:00:57,780 --> 01:00:59,991
(SCREAMING)

1626
01:01:00,158 --> 01:01:01,409
James: What are you doing?

1627
01:01:01,492 --> 01:01:02,576
You guys made this happen!

1628
01:01:02,577 --> 01:01:05,038
You guys forced my fucking
hand by ganging up on me.

1629
01:01:05,121 --> 01:01:08,082
God damn it, I'm gonna fucking
kill this motherfucker!

1630
01:01:08,166 --> 01:01:10,084
(PANTING)

1631
01:01:10,168 --> 01:01:12,587
That's what I thought. Nerd.

1632
01:01:17,342 --> 01:01:18,862
(SNORING) (WHISPERING)
All right, guys,

1633
01:01:18,926 --> 01:01:20,053
let's get rid of him.

1634
01:01:20,136 --> 01:01:21,429
Seth: What? What do you mean?

1635
01:01:21,512 --> 01:01:23,056
Like, kick him out
of the house?

1636
01:01:23,139 --> 01:01:25,892
His fucking reckless behavior
is dragging us all down.

1637
01:01:25,975 --> 01:01:27,977
I mean, he wasted
our water twice.

1638
01:01:28,061 --> 01:01:29,937
Two times. Two times.

1639
01:01:30,021 --> 01:01:32,523
Dan is under a lot of pressure.
Okay?

1640
01:01:32,607 --> 01:01:34,359
And he's not handling it as
good as the rest of us are.

1641
01:01:34,442 --> 01:01:37,153
Look at him. He's wearing
my fucking tuxedo.

1642
01:01:37,236 --> 01:01:38,821
He's been eating nonstop.

1643
01:01:38,905 --> 01:01:41,282
The fucker's gained
weight since he got here.

1644
01:01:41,366 --> 01:01:43,368
The fucker's got to go.

1645
01:01:43,451 --> 01:01:44,452
Go.

1646
01:01:44,535 --> 01:01:46,120
The fucker's got to go.

1647
01:01:50,625 --> 01:01:52,210
This is how you all feel?

1648
01:01:52,293 --> 01:01:53,544
Seth: We talked about it.

1649
01:01:53,628 --> 01:01:56,506
You guys are gonna vote
me off the island?

1650
01:01:56,589 --> 01:01:59,509
I mean, I made you
guys breakfast.

1651
01:01:59,592 --> 01:02:01,886
Shit, man, you wasted half of
our food when you did that.

1652
01:02:01,969 --> 01:02:04,680
Just thought I was doing
something nice for you guys.

1653
01:02:04,764 --> 01:02:08,059
Just to apologize for my
behavior at the party.

1654
01:02:08,142 --> 01:02:09,477
Party I wasn't
even invited to.

1655
01:02:09,811 --> 01:02:11,771
(SIGHS) Danny: I'm
not an idiot.

1656
01:02:12,230 --> 01:02:14,857
I know why you guys don't fucking
call me or hang out with me anymore.

1657
01:02:14,941 --> 01:02:17,985
It's because I party
so fucking hard.

1658
01:02:18,444 --> 01:02:21,489
Always have. Ever
since I was a baby.

1659
01:02:21,572 --> 01:02:23,282
I wouldn't just suck
on my mama's titties.

1660
01:02:23,366 --> 01:02:26,494
I would fucking bang
'em and motorboat 'em.

1661
01:02:27,662 --> 01:02:31,207
Everything I've been doing has
just been a cry for help.

1662
01:02:31,290 --> 01:02:34,085
When I came on your
magazine, James,

1663
01:02:34,168 --> 01:02:36,129
it was a cum for help.

1664
01:02:36,212 --> 01:02:40,007
I've just been crying and c:
Omin' and crying and c: Omin',

1665
01:02:40,675 --> 01:02:42,927
tears from the tip
of my penis, dudes.

1666
01:02:44,262 --> 01:02:45,972
I'm sorry, all right? You
can cum wherever you want.

1667
01:02:46,055 --> 01:02:48,474
I don't even care about
cumming anymore.

1668
01:02:50,017 --> 01:02:52,437
Right now, I'm just
kind of into going.

1669
01:02:53,604 --> 01:02:55,273
Danny. Danny.

1670
01:02:55,356 --> 01:02:56,441
Hey. Come on, man.

1671
01:02:56,524 --> 01:02:58,025
I fucked up.

1672
01:02:58,109 --> 01:02:59,360
I'm sorry, man. Come on, look,

1673
01:02:59,485 --> 01:03:01,154
I was wrong. Seth: I
feel like shit, man.

1674
01:03:01,237 --> 01:03:02,738
I didn't want it to
happen like this.

1675
01:03:02,822 --> 01:03:03,906
Let's just discuss
it some more, okay?

1676
01:03:03,990 --> 01:03:05,283
Yeah. Let's just talk, dude.

1677
01:03:05,366 --> 01:03:08,035
We're giving you an option.
It's a choice, man.

1678
01:03:08,119 --> 01:03:09,954
There's nothing to
figure out, all right?

1679
01:03:10,037 --> 01:03:12,707
You guys have said enough, and
there's no going back anymore.

1680
01:03:13,875 --> 01:03:16,878
I don't know if there maybe is, like,
something you guys could give me

1681
01:03:16,961 --> 01:03:19,547
so I could at least have some sort
of protection while I'm out there.

1682
01:03:19,630 --> 01:03:21,966
Danny, you don't
have to do this.

1683
01:03:22,049 --> 01:03:23,426
Seth: Yeah, man.
James: All right,

1684
01:03:23,509 --> 01:03:24,719
if you're really leaving

1685
01:03:26,053 --> 01:03:28,139
then you should take this.

1686
01:03:28,222 --> 01:03:29,891
Really?

1687
01:03:29,974 --> 01:03:32,268
You don't know
what's out there.

1688
01:03:35,605 --> 01:03:37,273
Thank you, James.

1689
01:03:38,149 --> 01:03:41,569
It means a lot to you, and I
appreciate that you'd give this to me,

1690
01:03:41,652 --> 01:03:43,488
you stupid, stupid
motherfucker!

1691
01:03:43,571 --> 01:03:45,072
(ALL YELLING)

1692
01:03:46,782 --> 01:03:49,577
Fucking psychopath.
It's a prop gun!

1693
01:03:49,660 --> 01:03:51,204
What, do you think I'd put
real bullets in here?

1694
01:03:51,287 --> 01:03:53,581
You were gonna send me out
there with a fucking gun

1695
01:03:53,664 --> 01:03:54,707
filled with blanks?
Oh, fuck you!

1696
01:03:54,790 --> 01:03:56,042
Don't turn this around on us.

1697
01:03:56,125 --> 01:03:58,127
You just tried to shoot
us, you fucking dickhead!

1698
01:03:58,211 --> 01:03:59,253
Fucking murdering
motherfucker!

1699
01:03:59,337 --> 01:04:01,672
Whatever. Fucking
civilization is broken down.

1700
01:04:01,756 --> 01:04:04,175
There's no more reason
for this false bullshit.

1701
01:04:04,258 --> 01:04:06,177
You guys act like you're so
fucking high and mighty,

1702
01:04:06,260 --> 01:04:08,513
like you've never made a
goddamn mistake before.

1703
01:04:08,596 --> 01:04:10,556
Franco, you're just a
pretentious fucking nerd.

1704
01:04:10,640 --> 01:04:11,682
Fuck you.

1705
01:04:11,766 --> 01:04:12,850
And, Jonah,

1706
01:04:12,934 --> 01:04:14,268
you fucking cunt.

1707
01:04:16,020 --> 01:04:19,023
Craig, you didn't have
my back, back there.

1708
01:04:19,148 --> 01:04:21,275
You fuckin' disappoint me. Bro.

1709
01:04:21,359 --> 01:04:24,111
And, Seth, (SCOFFS) you
duplicitous taint.

1710
01:04:24,195 --> 01:04:27,114
What? Then of course,
there's Jay,

1711
01:04:27,198 --> 01:04:30,743
the self-righteous, cock-sucking,
two-faced backstabber.

1712
01:04:30,826 --> 01:04:32,578
What the fuck are
you talking about?

1713
01:04:32,662 --> 01:04:34,413
I overheard your little
conversation with Craig, all right?

1714
01:04:34,497 --> 01:04:36,791
The only reason why you
care about any of us is

1715
01:04:36,874 --> 01:04:38,501
because you think that's
what God wants you to do.

1716
01:04:38,584 --> 01:04:39,961
You don't give a
shit about us.

1717
01:04:40,044 --> 01:04:42,171
No, no, no, no, that's fucking
twisting that shit...

1718
01:04:42,255 --> 01:04:43,256
You're fucking lying.

1719
01:04:43,339 --> 01:04:44,674
Am I twisting this?

1720
01:04:44,757 --> 01:04:47,593
I believe you were
in Los Angeles

1721
01:04:47,677 --> 01:04:49,512
two months ago, at
the Four Seasons.

1722
01:04:49,595 --> 01:04:53,099
I saw you there, and you specifically
asked me not to tell Seth,

1723
01:04:53,182 --> 01:04:55,726
so that you could
maintain the illusion

1724
01:04:55,810 --> 01:04:57,228
that you always stay with Seth

1725
01:04:57,311 --> 01:04:58,396
when you're in Los Angeles.

1726
01:04:58,479 --> 01:05:00,106
Ooh!

1727
01:05:01,148 --> 01:05:02,358
Jay.

1728
01:05:02,441 --> 01:05:04,151
Fuck, man. Jay: It's not...

1729
01:05:04,235 --> 01:05:06,571
Textbook twattage.

1730
01:05:06,654 --> 01:05:08,656
And just for the
record, you guys,

1731
01:05:08,739 --> 01:05:10,992
I'm choosing to leave,
you're not kicking me out.

1732
01:05:11,075 --> 01:05:13,202
You guys had already said
that I could come back in

1733
01:05:13,286 --> 01:05:15,496
and I'm the one who said
that I'm not coming back in.

1734
01:05:15,580 --> 01:05:16,831
Don't be cocky.

1735
01:05:18,833 --> 01:05:20,459
(FIRE CRACKLING)

1736
01:05:22,295 --> 01:05:23,629
Get the fuck out of here.

1737
01:05:25,339 --> 01:05:26,966
Is that true?

1738
01:05:27,341 --> 01:05:28,968
(SIGHS)

1739
01:05:29,051 --> 01:05:30,094
Yes.

1740
01:05:30,177 --> 01:05:31,512
J8Y...

1741
01:05:32,763 --> 01:05:34,223
I know this is
probably my fault

1742
01:05:34,307 --> 01:05:35,725
because I put you
on a pedestal,

1743
01:05:35,808 --> 01:05:38,477
but you should not be
dishonest with your friends.

1744
01:05:38,561 --> 01:05:40,646
But you really let me down.

1745
01:05:41,731 --> 01:05:43,274
Hey! Whoa! Jay, damn, man.

1746
01:05:43,357 --> 01:05:45,735
Fucken James: What the hell?

1747
01:05:45,818 --> 01:05:47,695
It's all fucked, isn't it?

1748
01:05:48,404 --> 01:05:49,780
Jonah, you okay? Yeah.

1749
01:05:50,239 --> 01:05:51,574
Bleeding?

1750
01:05:52,116 --> 01:05:53,409
(EXHALES)

1751
01:05:55,369 --> 01:05:56,370
Yeah.

1752
01:05:58,914 --> 01:06:02,918
His insides hurt worse
than my outsides.

1753
01:06:04,128 --> 01:06:05,379
(SIGHS)

1754
01:06:10,718 --> 01:06:12,053
Dear God,

1755
01:06:13,763 --> 01:06:16,057
I'd like to pray to
You for a second.

1756
01:06:16,140 --> 01:06:17,808
It's me, Jonah Hill.

1757
01:06:19,810 --> 01:06:21,479
<i>From Moneyball.</i>

1758
01:06:23,814 --> 01:06:28,194
I hate Jay so fucking much.

1759
01:06:28,277 --> 01:06:31,238
I think he might be the worst
person You ever created.

1760
01:06:31,322 --> 01:06:34,825
I don't want to
judge You, but...

1761
01:06:34,909 --> 01:06:38,162
What's up? What were
You thinking that day?

1762
01:06:38,245 --> 01:06:42,792
I love Seth, I love being his
friend, he's an awesome guy,

1763
01:06:42,875 --> 01:06:45,169
but it's like Jay is
the last connection

1764
01:06:45,252 --> 01:06:48,756
to his shitty, weird
Canadian life.

1765
01:06:49,924 --> 01:06:51,676
Just do me one favor, God.

1766
01:06:53,886 --> 01:06:55,638
Just kill Jay.

1767
01:06:58,057 --> 01:06:59,642
That'd be so tight.

1768
01:07:02,645 --> 01:07:04,146
(EERIE WHOOSHING)

1769
01:07:06,982 --> 01:07:08,275
(SIGHS)

1770
01:07:16,450 --> 01:07:17,993
(SNORING)

1771
01:07:33,050 --> 01:07:34,468
(CREATURE GROWLING)

1772
01:07:41,809 --> 01:07:43,811
(CONTINUES GROWLING SOFTLY)

1773
01:07:55,865 --> 01:07:57,074
(SCRAPING)

1774
01:07:57,867 --> 01:07:59,744
(CHUCKLING) Stop, man.

1775
01:07:59,827 --> 01:08:01,996
Seriously, Craig, stop.

1776
01:08:02,496 --> 01:08:04,415
Your nails are sharp.

1777
01:08:06,125 --> 01:08:07,668
(CREATURE GRUNTING)

1778
01:08:15,426 --> 01:08:16,427
(SNARLS)

1779
01:08:16,510 --> 01:08:17,678
This is no dream!

1780
01:08:18,637 --> 01:08:20,931
This is really happening!

1781
01:08:21,932 --> 01:08:23,058
No!

1782
01:08:35,780 --> 01:08:39,742
<i>Something, um, not that
chill happened last night.</i>

1783
01:08:40,701 --> 01:08:45,039
<i>Yo, so, I just drank my own
pee for the first time.</i>

1784
01:08:45,706 --> 01:08:50,127
<i>(LAUGHS) And it ain't bad.
I never thought to do it.</i>

1785
01:08:50,211 --> 01:08:53,339
<i>I always thought, you know,
pee stink, whatever, but...</i>

1786
01:08:53,422 --> 01:08:54,799
<i>Shh.</i>

1787
01:08:59,553 --> 01:09:01,096
(UNZIPS ZIPPER)

1788
01:09:01,639 --> 01:09:03,265
(EXHALES QUIETLY)

1789
01:09:11,315 --> 01:09:13,234
Seth: I think we all
remember how this works.

1790
01:09:13,317 --> 01:09:15,568
Whoever gets the burnt match
has to go to one of Franco's

1791
01:09:15,569 --> 01:09:17,570
neighbors' houses, get us
some food and some water.

1792
01:09:17,571 --> 01:09:19,406
No-ho-ho. No, I'm
not going first.

1793
01:09:19,490 --> 01:09:20,950
I'll go first.
Seth: Thank you.

1794
01:09:21,033 --> 01:09:22,785
Very mature of you. Thank you.

1795
01:09:26,163 --> 01:09:27,164
(GRUNTS)

1796
01:09:27,248 --> 01:09:28,582
Yes!

1797
01:09:28,666 --> 01:09:30,417
Sorry.

1798
01:09:31,502 --> 01:09:32,503
Good job.

1799
01:09:36,257 --> 01:09:37,424
You okay, Jonah?

1800
01:09:37,508 --> 01:09:38,551
What's that?

1801
01:09:38,634 --> 01:09:39,718
You Okay?

1802
01:09:40,386 --> 01:09:43,222
Yeah. Just bad sleep.
Crazy dream.

1803
01:09:43,305 --> 01:09:44,598
Here, Jonah.

1804
01:09:47,852 --> 01:09:49,186
Jonah.

1805
01:09:49,270 --> 01:09:51,355
Okay. Shit.

1806
01:09:51,438 --> 01:09:52,940
Craigers, you feeling lucky?

1807
01:09:53,232 --> 01:09:54,733
Will history repeat itself?

1808
01:09:57,486 --> 01:09:58,529
Thank you.

1809
01:10:01,574 --> 01:10:02,825
James: You got this, dawg.

1810
01:10:09,623 --> 01:10:10,624
(INHALES)

1811
01:10:10,708 --> 01:10:13,085
James: Seth! No! Not you!

1812
01:10:13,460 --> 01:10:14,503
(ANGRY GRUNT)

1813
01:10:19,133 --> 01:10:20,175
(EXHALES)

1814
01:10:20,259 --> 01:10:21,260
I'm not going.

1815
01:10:21,343 --> 01:10:23,721
What? I'm not going.

1816
01:10:23,804 --> 01:10:25,097
I'm bowing out. I'm
declining to go.

1817
01:10:25,180 --> 01:10:26,181
What?

1818
01:10:26,265 --> 01:10:27,425
Let me break it down for you.

1819
01:10:27,683 --> 01:10:29,268
I'm not fucking going.

1820
01:10:29,351 --> 01:10:31,477
You are definitely going.
Tell him he's fucking going.

1821
01:10:31,478 --> 01:10:33,855
Tell you what, why don't you
fucking go, Mr. Self-Righteous?

1822
01:10:33,856 --> 01:10:36,275
You're constantly saying what
assholes we are, how good you are.

1823
01:10:36,358 --> 01:10:37,902
You go get us some
fuckin' water.

1824
01:10:42,031 --> 01:10:43,157
I will go.

1825
01:10:44,325 --> 01:10:45,951
Because I have

1826
01:10:46,035 --> 01:10:47,915
something called honor.
Craig: Fuck, fuck, fuck.

1827
01:10:47,995 --> 01:10:49,788
That's good. Yeah,
you're very honorable.

1828
01:10:50,247 --> 01:10:51,582
I'll go with you, Jay.

1829
01:10:51,665 --> 01:10:52,833
Really?

1830
01:10:52,917 --> 01:10:55,336
Is it because of
our pact upstairs?

1831
01:10:55,419 --> 01:10:57,838
Nah, 'cause you got
them skinny-ass arms.

1832
01:10:57,922 --> 01:10:59,965
You couldn't carry enough
to feed a hamster.

1833
01:11:01,425 --> 01:11:02,468
(QUIETLY) It's working.

1834
01:11:06,013 --> 01:11:07,348
Jay: Let's get that money.

1835
01:11:07,431 --> 01:11:09,016
Let's do it.

1836
01:11:09,516 --> 01:11:11,852
Yo. Out and to the left.
Shh-shh.

1837
01:11:19,318 --> 01:11:20,361
(WHISPERS) Bye.

1838
01:11:25,366 --> 01:11:26,700
(WHISPERS) Oh, my God.

1839
01:11:26,784 --> 01:11:28,035
(WHISPERS) What?

1840
01:11:28,577 --> 01:11:30,204
That's so sad.

1841
01:11:31,413 --> 01:11:33,540
Innocencelost.

1842
01:11:39,546 --> 01:11:40,923
What is that?

1843
01:11:41,215 --> 01:11:42,174
Fire.

1844
01:11:42,257 --> 01:11:43,717
There's, like,
fire everywhere.

1845
01:11:43,801 --> 01:11:45,094
Damn it!

1846
01:11:46,053 --> 01:11:47,388
Hey, hev!

1847
01:11:49,264 --> 01:11:51,475
Craig: Fuck, yeah. Let's
go, let's go, let's go.

1848
01:11:52,017 --> 01:11:53,644
(DOOR CREAKING)

1849
01:12:06,657 --> 01:12:08,377
(LOUDLY) Hello? (WHISPERS)
Shut the fuck up!

1850
01:12:08,492 --> 01:12:10,119
(WHISPERING) What? You
yelling that shit for?

1851
01:12:10,202 --> 01:12:11,912
We got to find out...
Don't yell no more, man.

1852
01:12:11,996 --> 01:12:13,998
Crack you in the head
with this frying pan.

1853
01:12:14,081 --> 01:12:18,085
Okay. So we should probably
split up, cover more ground.

1854
01:12:18,168 --> 01:12:20,421
What you think this
is, Scooby-Doo?

1855
01:12:20,546 --> 01:12:22,214
We're gonna go in there, we're
gonna find the kitchen,

1856
01:12:22,297 --> 01:12:24,008
and get as much shit
as we can, together!

1857
01:12:24,091 --> 01:12:25,259
Then we're getting the
fuck out of here.

1858
01:12:25,342 --> 01:12:27,094
All right, all right.
All right?

1859
01:12:27,428 --> 01:12:29,346
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

1860
01:12:29,722 --> 01:12:30,723
(SIGHS)

1861
01:12:30,806 --> 01:12:31,807
Hey.

1862
01:12:32,391 --> 01:12:33,517
Hey.

1863
01:12:33,600 --> 01:12:35,185
What are you doing?

1864
01:12:35,269 --> 01:12:37,479
That should be me out there.

1865
01:12:37,563 --> 01:12:39,273
I totally fucked those guys.

1866
01:12:39,940 --> 01:12:41,275
Mmm. (SHRIEKING IN DISTANCE)

1867
01:12:42,609 --> 01:12:43,777
Fuck was that?

1868
01:12:45,362 --> 01:12:47,281
Seth: Oh, fuck! Is he okay?

1869
01:12:47,364 --> 01:12:48,532
Dude! Jonah!

1870
01:12:48,615 --> 01:12:50,034
Seth: What the fuck?
What do we do?

1871
01:12:50,117 --> 01:12:51,744
Do you know first aid or anything?
James: No.

1872
01:12:51,827 --> 01:12:52,911
Jonah! I suck at first aid.

1873
01:12:52,995 --> 01:12:54,288
Are you okay? Shit! Jonah?

1874
01:12:54,371 --> 01:12:56,206
Oh, no. Low blood sugar. LBS.

1875
01:12:56,290 --> 01:12:58,125
LBS! He's having an LBS episode!

1876
01:12:58,208 --> 01:13:00,252
<i>I'll</i> get the Milky Way!
You get the Milky Way!

1877
01:13:03,464 --> 01:13:04,506
Ugh!

1878
01:13:09,178 --> 01:13:10,637
Jay.

1879
01:13:12,014 --> 01:13:13,223
(GASPS)

1880
01:13:13,307 --> 01:13:15,392
Seth: Jonah, stay with me!
Stay with me.

1881
01:13:15,476 --> 01:13:17,394
I got it, I got it, I got
it, got it, open his mouth.

1882
01:13:17,478 --> 01:13:18,771
It's your friend, Seth.
Open his mouth.

1883
01:13:18,854 --> 01:13:21,315
Open his mouth. Open his mouth.
I'll get this in there.

1884
01:13:21,398 --> 01:13:22,815
Okay, okay. Shove
it right in there.

1885
01:13:22,816 --> 01:13:24,318
Seth: Jonah. Milky Way, Jonah.

1886
01:13:24,401 --> 01:13:25,903
You love the Milky Way.
Yummy, yum.

1887
01:13:25,986 --> 01:13:27,403
Seth: It's not fucking
working, man!

1888
01:13:27,404 --> 01:13:28,405
What the fuck!

1889
01:13:28,489 --> 01:13:29,615
How do we get it in there?

1890
01:13:29,698 --> 01:13:32,826
Chew it up, chew it up and spit
in his mouth like a baby bird.

1891
01:13:33,577 --> 01:13:34,578
Mmm! (GULPS)

1892
01:13:34,661 --> 01:13:35,745
You just swallowed it, man.

1893
01:13:35,746 --> 01:13:36,747
It's so good.

1894
01:13:36,830 --> 01:13:38,457
Give me a bite.

1895
01:13:38,540 --> 01:13:39,583
Mmm!

1896
01:13:39,666 --> 01:13:42,377
The second it hits your
mouth is, like, amazing.

1897
01:13:43,837 --> 01:13:46,006
Okay. (MUFFLED) Open it.

1898
01:13:47,508 --> 01:13:49,176
(SPEAKING IN DEMONIC VOICE)

1899
01:13:53,388 --> 01:13:55,015
What the fuck was that?

1900
01:13:55,099 --> 01:13:57,101
That's Hebrew.
That's not Hebrew.

1901
01:13:57,184 --> 01:13:58,560
It's fuckin' Latin or
something like that.

1902
01:13:58,644 --> 01:14:00,885
I went to Hebrew school for six years.
That's not Hebrew.

1903
01:14:01,730 --> 01:14:03,941
(DEMONIC VOICE) You will
drown in a river of blood.

1904
01:14:04,024 --> 01:14:05,943
The End of Days is here.

1905
01:14:06,026 --> 01:14:08,946
You will quiver in the
shadow of Kingdom Come.

1906
01:14:09,029 --> 01:14:11,949
Judgment Day is upon you.

1907
01:14:12,032 --> 01:14:16,328
The Apocalypse is nigh!

1908
01:14:18,872 --> 01:14:20,833
Hey, I think that's
all it could fit.

1909
01:14:21,542 --> 01:14:25,587
Man, let's take this back to
Franco's, get the fuck out of here.

1910
01:14:25,671 --> 01:14:26,880
Uh, uh...

1911
01:14:27,589 --> 01:14:28,799
What are we going back for?

1912
01:14:28,882 --> 01:14:29,967
What are you talking about?

1913
01:14:30,050 --> 01:14:34,012
In theory, we could
just fuckin' stay here.

1914
01:14:34,096 --> 01:14:37,015
And here, you don't
have to sleep

1915
01:14:37,099 --> 01:14:39,977
in a friggin' tent
under a dick.

1916
01:14:40,060 --> 01:14:41,395
I like my dick tent.

1917
01:14:41,478 --> 01:14:42,521
I'm just saying,

1918
01:14:42,604 --> 01:14:46,400
we could build a life here together, Craig.
I'd be really good to you.

1919
01:14:46,859 --> 01:14:48,777
All I know is I'm
scared as hell,

1920
01:14:48,861 --> 01:14:51,655
and I just want to get
back to our friends.

1921
01:14:51,738 --> 01:14:53,018
Yeah, but they're
not my friends.

1922
01:14:53,407 --> 01:14:54,366
Seth is your friend.

1923
01:14:54,449 --> 01:14:56,660
We've been growing
apart for years.

1924
01:14:56,743 --> 01:14:59,329
That's why I didn't stay with
him last time I was here.

1925
01:14:59,413 --> 01:15:01,832
And I stayed with him this
time to try and salvage it,

1926
01:15:01,915 --> 01:15:03,667
but clearly that
didn't work out.

1927
01:15:03,750 --> 01:15:06,420
Jay, like it or not,

1928
01:15:07,045 --> 01:15:08,755
those assholes are all we got.

1929
01:15:09,047 --> 01:15:10,299
(CREAKING)

1930
01:15:12,801 --> 01:15:13,802
Did you hear that?

1931
01:15:13,886 --> 01:15:15,387
Yeah, that was a creak.

1932
01:15:16,471 --> 01:15:18,265
(ROARS) (BOTH SCREAMING)

1933
01:15:20,517 --> 01:15:22,519
James: What is that?

1934
01:15:23,896 --> 01:15:25,939
What is that? Is that bile? Ew!

1935
01:15:26,023 --> 01:15:28,066
I don't know. It's cold.

1936
01:15:28,150 --> 01:15:29,401
Sniff it.

1937
01:15:29,484 --> 01:15:31,945
No. You sniff it.

1938
01:15:32,988 --> 01:15:34,031
(SNIFFS) EW!

1939
01:15:34,114 --> 01:15:35,782
What? It smells like puke.

1940
01:15:35,866 --> 01:15:36,867
Ew! Ew!

1941
01:15:36,950 --> 01:15:38,619
Don't get it on me! Ew!

1942
01:15:39,953 --> 01:15:41,622
(SCREAMING)

1943
01:15:49,296 --> 01:15:50,589
It's in my eyes! Dude!

1944
01:15:50,672 --> 01:15:53,008
It's in my mouth! He's gone!

1945
01:15:53,091 --> 01:15:55,260
Where is he? He's
fucking gone!

1946
01:15:55,344 --> 01:15:57,554
Jay: Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!

1947
01:15:57,638 --> 01:15:59,640
(DEMON GROWLING) (SCREAMING)

1948
01:16:07,022 --> 01:16:09,650
Please, God! Jesus, Jesus!

1949
01:16:10,859 --> 01:16:12,611
(GROWLING)

1950
01:16:14,613 --> 01:16:15,739
(SNARLING)

1951
01:16:17,282 --> 01:16:18,283
Fuck.

1952
01:16:19,034 --> 01:16:20,744
Jonah! Jonah!

1953
01:16:20,827 --> 01:16:22,913
Jonah, stop this!

1954
01:16:23,038 --> 01:16:24,581
Please! Jonah, where
the fuck are you?

1955
01:16:24,665 --> 01:16:26,333
Why did you vomit on us!

1956
01:16:27,292 --> 01:16:29,670
(DEMONIC GROWL) (JAMES YELLS)

1957
01:16:29,753 --> 01:16:31,672
Bad Jonah! Stop!

1958
01:16:31,755 --> 01:16:33,590
Stop eating him! (HISSES)

1959
01:16:33,674 --> 01:16:35,676
Watch out! He's super strong!

1960
01:16:35,801 --> 01:16:36,802
Aah!

1961
01:16:38,220 --> 01:16:39,263
Shit!

1962
01:16:39,346 --> 01:16:41,515
What is happen...
(JONAH ROARS)

1963
01:16:41,598 --> 01:16:42,766
Seth: Oh, no!

1964
01:16:42,849 --> 01:16:44,601
(DEMONIC VOICE) I'm gonna
tittie-fuck you, Seth.

1965
01:16:44,685 --> 01:16:46,103
Don't tittie-fuck me!

1966
01:16:46,186 --> 01:16:47,646
What are they, big
B's or small C's?

1967
01:16:47,729 --> 01:16:50,274
I'm gonna push your
titties together.

1968
01:16:50,357 --> 01:16:51,984
Push 'em together!

1969
01:16:52,067 --> 01:16:53,652
James: I'll get you
something to help!

1970
01:16:53,735 --> 01:16:54,736
LWlpass you something!

1971
01:16:54,820 --> 01:16:55,862
Okay, pass it to me.

1972
01:16:56,530 --> 01:16:58,490
OW! Fuck! Shit!

1973
01:16:59,700 --> 01:17:01,451
(JONAH GROWLING)

1974
01:17:01,535 --> 01:17:02,536
Aah! Oh!

1975
01:17:04,538 --> 01:17:05,622
Seth! (SETH GROANING)

1976
01:17:07,207 --> 01:17:09,209
We're getting crazy!

1977
01:17:13,380 --> 01:17:15,048
(DEMON GROWLING)

1978
01:17:15,132 --> 01:17:16,383
Come on! Come on!

1979
01:17:16,717 --> 01:17:17,718
(GROWLING)

1980
01:17:17,801 --> 01:17:20,304
Jesus, open, God
damn you, open!

1981
01:17:20,387 --> 01:17:21,888
(ROARING)

1982
01:17:23,640 --> 01:17:25,475
No, no, no, no.

1983
01:17:25,726 --> 01:17:27,019
(CRAIG SCREAMING)

1984
01:17:31,273 --> 01:17:32,733
Jesus“.

1985
01:17:33,233 --> 01:17:35,610
Oh, fuck.

1986
01:17:36,069 --> 01:17:37,779
We gotta hide. We gotta hide.
I know!

1987
01:17:37,904 --> 01:17:39,280
He's coming! He's coming!
I know he's coming!

1988
01:17:39,281 --> 01:17:40,824
I don't know what the fuck to do!
(JONAH GROWLING)

1989
01:17:40,907 --> 01:17:42,659
I don't know...

1990
01:17:42,951 --> 01:17:44,411
Where are you going?

1991
01:17:44,786 --> 01:17:46,413
Shit.

1992
01:17:46,621 --> 01:17:48,999
(HANGERS CLACKING) (SETH
MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY)

1993
01:17:49,583 --> 01:17:51,585
(PANTING)

1994
01:17:54,963 --> 01:17:56,923
(QUIETLY) Please go away.
He's sniffing.

1995
01:17:57,674 --> 01:17:58,758
Seth: I'm so scared, James.

1996
01:17:58,759 --> 01:17:59,885
James: Be quiet.

1997
01:17:59,968 --> 01:18:01,427
(BREATHING HEAVILY)

1998
01:18:01,428 --> 01:18:03,180
You're breathing really loud.
Am I?

1999
01:18:03,555 --> 01:18:04,723
Don't breathe through your mouth.
Okay.

2000
01:18:05,015 --> 01:18:06,099
(RAPID PANTING)

2001
01:18:07,100 --> 01:18:09,936
Now you're doing loud
nose breathing. Am I?

2002
01:18:10,020 --> 01:18:11,813
I don't know where
else to breathe from.

2003
01:18:13,440 --> 01:18:14,566
Is that... Seth.

2004
01:18:14,649 --> 01:18:16,234
(GROWLING)

2005
01:18:16,735 --> 01:18:19,529
(BREATHING LOUDLY)

2006
01:18:19,613 --> 01:18:21,198
James: Oh, shit. Don't move.

2007
01:18:21,281 --> 01:18:22,908
Oh, shit, he's coming right this way.
Oh, shit.

2008
01:18:22,991 --> 01:18:24,284
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

2009
01:18:25,077 --> 01:18:26,745
(GROWLING)

2010
01:18:27,871 --> 01:18:28,955
(YELLING)

2011
01:18:31,875 --> 01:18:33,794
Seth: Get out of my way!
Move! Move!

2012
01:18:33,877 --> 01:18:35,837
(BOTH GRUNTING) Seth: Fuck!

2013
01:18:38,965 --> 01:18:39,966
You Okay?

2014
01:18:40,050 --> 01:18:41,218
Come on!

2015
01:18:41,301 --> 01:18:45,305
Let's go. Let's go.
Okay. Okay. Okay.

2016
01:18:45,639 --> 01:18:47,099
(BOTH SCREAMING)

2017
01:18:47,849 --> 01:18:49,650
What the fuck! What are you doing?
(SCREAMING)

2018
01:18:49,726 --> 01:18:51,144
What are you doing?
What are you doing?

2019
01:18:51,228 --> 01:18:52,729
There's a fuckin'
demon chasing us!

2020
01:18:52,813 --> 01:18:54,398
A demon? Demon?

2021
01:18:54,481 --> 01:18:57,317
What the fuck happened to you guys?
That!

2022
01:18:57,401 --> 01:18:58,819
It's Jonah! He's possessed!

2023
01:18:58,902 --> 01:19:00,153
He's crazy!

2024
01:19:01,113 --> 01:19:03,490
Oh, fuck! You brained him.

2025
01:19:03,573 --> 01:19:05,293
Is that... I was supposed
to do that, right?

2026
01:19:05,367 --> 01:19:06,451
Seth: Yeah.

2027
01:19:06,535 --> 01:19:07,994
(ROARING) (ALL SCREAMING)

2028
01:19:09,830 --> 01:19:11,665
Motherfucker.

2029
01:19:12,374 --> 01:19:13,917
Jay: Fasten! Seth: HuHw.

2030
01:19:14,000 --> 01:19:15,377
Fasten, God damn you, bastard!

2031
01:19:15,460 --> 01:19:16,544
Seth: He's gonna be fuckin'

2032
01:19:16,545 --> 01:19:17,921
bad news when he wakes up!

2033
01:19:18,004 --> 01:19:19,840
He's fuckin' strong.

2034
01:19:19,923 --> 01:19:21,591
My side's good. Oh, shit!

2035
01:19:21,675 --> 01:19:23,260
All right, <i>I'll
</i> fuckin' hit him.

2036
01:19:23,343 --> 01:19:24,928
Fuck! Come on, come on! Okay!

2037
01:19:30,350 --> 01:19:32,811
This shit's cray cray, guys.

2038
01:19:33,103 --> 01:19:36,064
I mean, it's, like, the
real, like Apocalypse.

2039
01:19:36,148 --> 01:19:38,483
It's, like, the Book
of Revelations,

2040
01:19:38,567 --> 01:19:40,735
like that means there's a God.

2041
01:19:40,819 --> 01:19:42,112
Right?

2042
01:19:42,195 --> 01:19:44,865
I haven't led my life as though
there's a God this whole time.

2043
01:19:44,948 --> 01:19:47,451
Who fuckin' saw that coming?
That there's actually a God?

2044
01:19:47,534 --> 01:19:50,829
I'd say 95% of the planet.

2045
01:19:52,372 --> 01:19:54,499
Jesus fucking Christ, man.

2046
01:19:54,583 --> 01:19:56,626
You might want to stay
away from saying that.

2047
01:19:56,710 --> 01:19:59,171
"Jesus fucking Christ"? Why?

2048
01:19:59,296 --> 01:20:00,964
Why can't I say that? One
of the Ten Commandments.

2049
01:20:01,047 --> 01:20:03,884
"Thou shall not take the name
of the Lord thy God in vain."

2050
01:20:03,967 --> 01:20:05,385
Jesus isn't the
name of the Lord.

2051
01:20:05,469 --> 01:20:06,678
God is name of the Lord.

2052
01:20:06,761 --> 01:20:08,805
Jesus, God, it's all the same.

2053
01:20:08,889 --> 01:20:11,183
It's the Trinity. Father,
Son, Holy Ghost.

2054
01:20:11,266 --> 01:20:13,143
It's like Neapolitan
ice cream.

2055
01:20:13,226 --> 01:20:14,853
I don't even know what the
fucking Commandments are.

2056
01:20:14,936 --> 01:20:19,065
Guys, I think this is sort of bullshit,
because we're all good people.

2057
01:20:19,399 --> 01:20:22,319
I can look at each one of you
in the eye, I know you're good.

2058
01:20:22,402 --> 01:20:24,029
I'm good. We're four actors.

2059
01:20:24,112 --> 01:20:26,072
We bring joy to
people's lives.

2060
01:20:26,156 --> 01:20:27,866
Yeah, but we don't
do it for free.

2061
01:20:27,949 --> 01:20:32,162
We get paid handsomely, much higher
than the average profession.

2062
01:20:32,245 --> 01:20:34,079
It's not like it was just
handed to any of us.

2063
01:20:34,080 --> 01:20:35,707
We've worked really
hard to be here.

2064
01:20:35,790 --> 01:20:37,918
Yeah, pretend like it's
hot when it's cold.

2065
01:20:38,460 --> 01:20:40,587
You sitting on the
beach, it's freezing,

2066
01:20:40,670 --> 01:20:44,758
you in your drawers, talking about
something, everybody's surfing.

2067
01:20:44,841 --> 01:20:47,052
(WHISPERS) I think God
might have just fucked up,

2068
01:20:47,135 --> 01:20:50,180
made a mistake, and left
us behind by accident.

2069
01:20:50,263 --> 01:20:52,224
I mean, He's got a lot
of shit on His plate.

2070
01:20:52,307 --> 01:20:55,393
It's not an oversight,
it's not a mistake, okay?

2071
01:20:55,477 --> 01:20:59,648
We got to face facts. We're here, and
there's a reason we're all here.

2072
01:20:59,731 --> 01:21:02,025
Why are you so sure?

2073
01:21:02,108 --> 01:21:04,194
I've done things, man. I...

2074
01:21:07,322 --> 01:21:09,074
I gouged a man's eyeballs out.

2075
01:21:09,157 --> 01:21:10,909
What the... Fuck off.

2076
01:21:10,992 --> 01:21:12,744
Craig. Well, I was a kid, man.

2077
01:21:12,827 --> 01:21:15,038
It was a fuckin' bar fight.

2078
01:21:15,121 --> 01:21:16,456
It was a bad foosball game.

2079
01:21:16,540 --> 01:21:19,209
He said I didn't call spinneys,
and I fuckin' called spinneys.

2080
01:21:19,292 --> 01:21:22,128
He got all in my face, and I smashed
a bottle across his face...

2081
01:21:23,046 --> 01:21:24,714
(EXHALES DEEPLY) ...and the
first eyeball was an accident,

2082
01:21:24,798 --> 01:21:27,425
but then I was, like, fuck it,
and I went for the second one.

2083
01:21:27,509 --> 01:21:29,553
It was fucked up.
But you know what?

2084
01:21:29,636 --> 01:21:34,099
That shit happens. I'm saying, that's...
I think that's why I'm here.

2085
01:21:34,182 --> 01:21:36,226
I got to admit something.

2086
01:21:36,309 --> 01:21:37,602
I, uh...

2087
01:21:39,479 --> 01:21:40,897
I fucked Lindsay Lohan.

2088
01:21:40,981 --> 01:21:43,858
She was fucked up.
She was high.

2089
01:21:43,942 --> 01:21:45,193
It was at the Chateau Marmont,

2090
01:21:45,277 --> 01:21:46,528
and she kept banging
on my door.

2091
01:21:46,736 --> 01:21:47,988
(GRUNTS)

2092
01:21:48,071 --> 01:21:49,781
She kept calling me
Jake Gyllenhaal.

2093
01:21:49,864 --> 01:21:51,157
That's fucked up.

2094
01:21:51,241 --> 01:21:54,744
Yeah, I said, "Call me
the Prince of Persia."

2095
01:21:54,828 --> 01:21:56,120
See, that's what
I'm saying, man.

2096
01:21:56,121 --> 01:21:58,081
We've all done bad
shit, you know?

2097
01:21:58,164 --> 01:22:01,751
We've done more bad shit than
good in our lives, and (SIGHS)

2098
01:22:03,169 --> 01:22:06,006
it's time to pay the Piper.

2099
01:22:06,965 --> 01:22:08,133
James: Whoa, shit!

2100
01:22:08,216 --> 01:22:10,218
Something's wrong.

2101
01:22:11,177 --> 01:22:12,511
(WHISPERS) God did this.

2102
01:22:12,512 --> 01:22:16,141
He gave us light, and then He took it away.
(JONAH GROWLING)

2103
01:22:16,224 --> 01:22:17,601
You hear that?

2104
01:22:17,684 --> 01:22:19,769
It's the soundtrack
of us going insane.

2105
01:22:19,853 --> 01:22:22,689
Damn, I wish there was something
we could do to help him.

2106
01:22:23,732 --> 01:22:25,358
I know what we can do.

2107
01:22:34,200 --> 01:22:36,077
Jay: The fuckin' stench.

2108
01:22:36,369 --> 01:22:37,996
(GROWLING)

2109
01:22:49,883 --> 01:22:50,884
Jonah Hill?

2110
01:22:52,594 --> 01:22:53,928
Jonah?

2111
01:22:54,554 --> 01:22:56,598
(LAUGHING)

2112
01:22:57,140 --> 01:22:58,516
Jonah Hill.

2113
01:22:58,600 --> 01:23:00,727
(IN DEMONIC VOICE)
Jonah Hill is no more.

2114
01:23:01,978 --> 01:23:03,063
Demon?

2115
01:23:03,146 --> 01:23:04,981
Yes?

2116
01:23:05,065 --> 01:23:06,983
(LAUGHING) Fuck.
That's not good.

2117
01:23:07,067 --> 01:23:08,360
That's not good.

2118
01:23:09,069 --> 01:23:10,654
Jay, you fool.

2119
01:23:10,737 --> 01:23:13,198
I say unto thee,

2120
01:23:13,740 --> 01:23:16,159
the power of Christ
compels you!

2121
01:23:16,242 --> 01:23:19,079
Oh, does it? Does
it compel me?

2122
01:23:19,162 --> 01:23:21,206
The power of Christ
compels you!

2123
01:23:21,289 --> 01:23:22,290
Does it, Jay?

2124
01:23:22,374 --> 01:23:24,292
The power of Christ
compels you!

2125
01:23:24,376 --> 01:23:26,378
Is the power of Christ compelling me?
Is that what's happening?

2126
01:23:26,503 --> 01:23:29,005
The power of Christ compels you!
(LAUGHING)

2127
01:23:29,089 --> 01:23:31,508
Guess what? It's not
that compelling.

2128
01:23:31,591 --> 01:23:33,760
Seth: Jay, you
serious right now?

2129
01:23:33,843 --> 01:23:36,137
That's your fuckin' plan? You're gonna
repeat lines from The <i>Exorcist?</i>

2130
01:23:36,221 --> 01:23:38,390
I would assume they did
their fuckin' research.

2131
01:23:38,473 --> 01:23:40,308
It's a movie! It's a manual.

2132
01:23:40,433 --> 01:23:42,473
It's a fuckin' training manual.
(CONTINUES LAUGHING)

2133
01:23:44,229 --> 01:23:45,689
I say unto thee,

2134
01:23:45,980 --> 01:23:48,441
the power of Christ
compels you!

2135
01:23:48,525 --> 01:23:50,735
The power of Christ
compels you!

2136
01:23:51,569 --> 01:23:53,738
The power of Christ
compels you!

2137
01:23:53,822 --> 01:23:55,365
Geez, it hurts a little bit.

2138
01:23:55,448 --> 01:23:56,700
It's, like, this little sting.

2139
01:23:56,783 --> 01:23:59,202
The power of Christ
compels you!

2140
01:23:59,285 --> 01:24:00,370
Seriously, fuck off.

2141
01:24:00,453 --> 01:24:02,956
The power of Christ
compels you!

2142
01:24:03,039 --> 01:24:04,499
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(BED CREAKING)

2143
01:24:05,250 --> 01:24:06,626
Jay?

2144
01:24:06,835 --> 01:24:08,503
The power of Christ
compels you!

2145
01:24:08,586 --> 01:24:09,670
Craig: Holy shit!

2146
01:24:09,671 --> 01:24:11,338
You're pissing him off, man.
Just stop it!

2147
01:24:11,339 --> 01:24:13,133
Jay! The power of
Christ compels you!

2148
01:24:13,675 --> 01:24:15,135
(ALL CLAMORING)

2149
01:24:15,635 --> 01:24:17,429
The power of... Get
the fuck down!

2150
01:24:17,554 --> 01:24:19,597
Don't fucking push me, asshole!
Geez, man!

2151
01:24:19,681 --> 01:24:20,682
Fuck you! Easy!

2152
01:24:20,765 --> 01:24:21,850
You're a fucking
asshole, you liar!

2153
01:24:21,933 --> 01:24:22,934
Still?

2154
01:24:23,017 --> 01:24:24,018
Yes. Still? Yes.

2155
01:24:24,102 --> 01:24:25,562
Guys, guys, we got a
possessed guy here!

2156
01:24:25,645 --> 01:24:27,246
Do we have to argue
about this right now?

2157
01:24:27,313 --> 01:24:28,273
Let 'em fight.

2158
01:24:28,356 --> 01:24:29,899
We got an exorcism to finish.
Hello?

2159
01:24:29,983 --> 01:24:31,234
Do you want to know why
I didn't stay with you?

2160
01:24:31,317 --> 01:24:32,861
Yeah. You fuckin' changed.

2161
01:24:32,944 --> 01:24:35,822
You're a fuckin' sell-out.

2162
01:24:35,905 --> 01:24:38,158
You did fuckin' sell out.
Everyone says.

2163
01:24:38,241 --> 01:24:42,078
At least I did change! You act like
you're fucking 18 years old still, Jay!

2164
01:24:42,162 --> 01:24:44,497
Grow up, Jay. That's why
he's yelling at you.

2165
01:24:44,581 --> 01:24:46,624
You've been holding me
back this whole time!

2166
01:24:46,708 --> 01:24:48,293
That means fuck you.

2167
01:24:48,376 --> 01:24:50,420
James: Come on, guys! Come on!

2168
01:24:50,503 --> 01:24:51,671
(BOTH GRUNTING)

2169
01:24:51,755 --> 01:24:53,757
Jay: Fuck you, you
piece of shit!

2170
01:24:57,135 --> 01:24:58,303
James: Everybody, out!

2171
01:24:58,386 --> 01:24:59,637
Craig, stop 'em!

2172
01:24:59,721 --> 01:25:01,514
Get apart! Seth:
Oh, now it's on.

2173
01:25:01,598 --> 01:25:04,017
Yo! What the fuck is
all this, Franco?

2174
01:25:05,310 --> 01:25:06,950
Uh, looks like food.
How'd that get there?

2175
01:25:07,020 --> 01:25:09,397
Seth: What? You
have more food?

2176
01:25:09,481 --> 01:25:10,690
You knew he had extra food?

2177
01:25:10,774 --> 01:25:12,484
Yeah, he gave me one cracker.

2178
01:25:12,567 --> 01:25:14,110
I would have sucked a
dick for half a cracker.

2179
01:25:14,194 --> 01:25:16,446
All right, well, maybe I didn't want
you to suck my dick, all right?

2180
01:25:16,571 --> 01:25:17,697
Look“. Craig: I didn't
want to suck it!

2181
01:25:17,822 --> 01:25:19,449
That's the point of what I said!
It was my fucking food!

2182
01:25:19,532 --> 01:25:20,533
Seth: Guys, guys, guys, fire!

2183
01:25:20,617 --> 01:25:21,659
Jay: Boys, boys, boys...

2184
01:25:21,743 --> 01:25:23,745
Shit! Jonah's on fire!

2185
01:25:23,870 --> 01:25:25,872
(SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

2186
01:25:29,542 --> 01:25:30,877
Put it out!

2187
01:25:30,960 --> 01:25:32,378
Use your mouth! Put it out!

2188
01:25:33,880 --> 01:25:35,173
(ALL SCREAM)

2189
01:25:41,262 --> 01:25:42,722
Go, go, go, go, 90!

2190
01:25:47,727 --> 01:25:48,895
(SCREAMING)

2191
01:25:51,731 --> 01:25:53,211
Where is he? Where is he?
Where is he?

2192
01:25:53,274 --> 01:25:54,442
Go, go, go!

2193
01:25:54,526 --> 01:25:55,902
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

2194
01:25:57,028 --> 01:25:58,655
Go, go, go, go, 90!

2195
01:25:58,738 --> 01:26:00,490
Go, get outside!

2196
01:26:00,573 --> 01:26:02,492
Shit, shit, shit,
shit, shit, shit!

2197
01:26:02,575 --> 01:26:03,576
Go, go on!

2198
01:26:03,660 --> 01:26:05,703
Come on, hurry
up, he's coming!

2199
01:26:05,787 --> 01:26:07,497
He's coming!

2200
01:26:08,581 --> 01:26:10,208
(GROWLING)

2201
01:26:11,835 --> 01:26:13,253
(ALL SHOUTING)

2202
01:26:20,635 --> 01:26:22,262
James: Watch out, watch out!

2203
01:26:22,637 --> 01:26:24,973
Oh, my fortress!

2204
01:26:25,890 --> 01:26:28,726
Uh, boys, I just want
to point out, um,

2205
01:26:28,810 --> 01:26:30,270
we're out in the open now.

2206
01:26:31,020 --> 01:26:32,105
Oh, fuck. Shit, shit, shit.

2207
01:26:32,188 --> 01:26:34,357
Oh, shit. Hey, hey, hey.

2208
01:26:34,440 --> 01:26:35,567
My Prius. Yeah!

2209
01:26:35,650 --> 01:26:37,443
Yeah! Yes!

2210
01:26:37,569 --> 01:26:38,736
(ALARM CHIRPS) (ALL EXCLAIM)

2211
01:26:40,613 --> 01:26:41,698
James: What is that?

2212
01:26:42,448 --> 01:26:44,450
No fucking way.

2213
01:26:44,576 --> 01:26:46,536
(ROARS) James: We're screwed!

2214
01:26:46,619 --> 01:26:49,080
We're totally screwed, guys.

2215
01:26:51,916 --> 01:26:52,917
I got this.

2216
01:26:53,001 --> 01:26:54,544
What? I'll distract the thing.

2217
01:26:54,627 --> 01:26:56,588
I'll run over there
screaming and shit,

2218
01:26:56,671 --> 01:27:00,300
and that should give you enough
time to get to the garage.

2219
01:27:00,383 --> 01:27:02,010
Well, yeah, but that
thing can kill you.

2220
01:27:02,093 --> 01:27:05,471
Maybe I deserve it. I've
been shitty my whole life.

2221
01:27:05,555 --> 01:27:07,807
Being selfish, only
doing shit for me.

2222
01:27:07,891 --> 01:27:10,184
Maybe it's only right
that the last thing I do

2223
01:27:10,268 --> 01:27:13,354
on this planet isn't for me.

2224
01:27:13,605 --> 01:27:14,856
It's for you guys.

2225
01:27:14,939 --> 01:27:16,649
Craig, you don't
have to do that.

2226
01:27:16,733 --> 01:27:18,026
Thank you very much, Craig.

2227
01:27:18,109 --> 01:27:19,861
I appreciate that.
You spineless...

2228
01:27:20,612 --> 01:27:22,530
I love you guys.

2229
01:27:22,739 --> 01:27:24,365
You're my best friends.

2230
01:27:24,449 --> 01:27:26,451
You're a real mensch, Craig.

2231
01:27:26,534 --> 01:27:28,703
See you on the other side.

2232
01:27:30,288 --> 01:27:31,497
(SNARLS)

2233
01:27:33,207 --> 01:27:36,336
Hey, hey, asshole!
Hey, come on!

2234
01:27:36,419 --> 01:27:38,463
Pickle dick, demonic-looking
motherfucker.

2235
01:27:38,546 --> 01:27:40,673
Nobody's scared of you.
You ain't a raccoon!

2236
01:27:40,757 --> 01:27:42,550
Yeah, bring your ass, bitch!

2237
01:27:42,634 --> 01:27:45,511
Nobody's scared of you! I'm
Craig fucking Robinson!

2238
01:27:45,720 --> 01:27:46,846
Yeah.

2239
01:27:46,930 --> 01:27:48,097
What's he gonna do? Craig.

2240
01:27:48,181 --> 01:27:51,225
I hope you like big
dick, motherfucker,

2241
01:27:51,309 --> 01:27:53,144
'cause I'm about
to fuck you raw!

2242
01:27:53,227 --> 01:27:55,521
For the last goddamn time!

2243
01:27:56,022 --> 01:27:57,649
Take your panties off!

2244
01:28:01,819 --> 01:28:02,904
(GROWLS)

2245
01:28:08,493 --> 01:28:10,119
Fuck, yeah!

2246
01:28:10,203 --> 01:28:11,537
(LAUGHS)

2247
01:28:12,497 --> 01:28:13,456
It worked.

2248
01:28:13,539 --> 01:28:15,041
What's happening?

2249
01:28:15,124 --> 01:28:17,126
Craig! Craig!

2250
01:28:21,547 --> 01:28:23,216
(LAUGHING)

2251
01:28:30,098 --> 01:28:33,184
Holy shit, do you guys
realize what this means?

2252
01:28:33,267 --> 01:28:34,828
That Craig was an angel
this whole time?

2253
01:28:34,894 --> 01:28:37,772
No, no, it means we can
still be saved. No, no.

2254
01:28:39,732 --> 01:28:42,610
I don't fucking get it, why
does Craig get saved? I mean...

2255
01:28:42,694 --> 01:28:45,029
Craig sacrificed
himself for us,

2256
01:28:45,113 --> 01:28:46,906
which means that
there's still hope.

2257
01:28:47,031 --> 01:28:48,825
That means we can be redeemed.
Seth: Yeah.

2258
01:28:48,908 --> 01:28:50,660
It means that if we're
actually nice to each other,

2259
01:28:50,743 --> 01:28:53,538
we can get sucked up into Heaven, too.
That's the deal.

2260
01:28:53,621 --> 01:28:55,331
All right, I got it,
let's just head out

2261
01:28:55,415 --> 01:28:57,667
to my place in Malibu. Yeah.

2262
01:28:57,750 --> 01:29:00,920
Just survive long enough until
we do enough good things

2263
01:29:01,004 --> 01:29:03,047
and they accumulate or
do enough sacrifices,

2264
01:29:03,131 --> 01:29:04,257
and we'll all go to
Heaven together.

2265
01:29:04,340 --> 01:29:06,300
That's a great idea, James.

2266
01:29:06,384 --> 01:29:08,052
Seriously, really,
really goodidea.

2267
01:29:08,136 --> 01:29:09,971
Really, you're
such a smart guy.

2268
01:29:10,054 --> 01:29:12,098
(CHUCKLES) Thanks, Seth,
you're such a nice guy.

2269
01:29:12,390 --> 01:29:13,391
You got a great smile.

2270
01:29:13,474 --> 01:29:15,143
Thanks, man. And
an awesome laugh.

2271
01:29:15,268 --> 01:29:17,228
I've heard it's annoying. How
about that Jay back there, man?

2272
01:29:17,353 --> 01:29:18,938
Seth: Dude, Jay, you kidding me?
Come on. Oh, come on.

2273
01:29:19,022 --> 01:29:20,314
James: One of a kind.
Get out of here.

2274
01:29:20,398 --> 01:29:21,607
You got a cool body.

2275
01:29:21,691 --> 01:29:23,151
You can walk around with
your shirt off anytime.

2276
01:29:23,234 --> 01:29:24,861
It's not working,
this isn't working.

2277
01:29:24,944 --> 01:29:26,785
What, you thought we would
be Raptured already?

2278
01:29:26,863 --> 01:29:27,905
I thought it would
happen already.

2279
01:29:27,989 --> 01:29:29,115
Jay: No, we've just
been talking nice.

2280
01:29:29,198 --> 01:29:31,075
Talking nice doesn't
get you into Heaven.

2281
01:29:31,159 --> 01:29:33,286
Doesn't hurt to smile...
(TIRES SCREECHING)

2282
01:29:35,913 --> 01:29:36,914
What the fuck?

2283
01:29:36,998 --> 01:29:38,332
Seth: (GROANS) You guys okay?

2284
01:29:38,416 --> 01:29:40,126
Oh, shit. Christ.

2285
01:29:40,376 --> 01:29:41,753
(ALL SHOUTING)

2286
01:29:50,344 --> 01:29:51,804
Seth: Franco! WOMAN: Come on!

2287
01:29:54,724 --> 01:29:56,350
Yo, cut his fucking head off!

2288
01:29:56,434 --> 01:29:57,560
What's going on?

2289
01:29:57,643 --> 01:29:58,853
(CHAINSAW REVVING)

2290
01:29:58,936 --> 01:30:00,897
No!

2291
01:30:00,980 --> 01:30:02,190
"MA - No! N" Sm'

2292
01:30:09,781 --> 01:30:11,157
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

2293
01:30:19,707 --> 01:30:20,875
Danny?

2294
01:30:20,958 --> 01:30:22,168
What the fuck?

2295
01:30:22,251 --> 01:30:23,377
You guys are still alive?

2296
01:30:23,461 --> 01:30:24,545
Yeah.

2297
01:30:24,629 --> 01:30:26,714
Holy shit, I didn't
expect that.

2298
01:30:26,798 --> 01:30:28,716
Fuck out here.

2299
01:30:29,634 --> 01:30:30,676
Get...

2300
01:30:30,802 --> 01:30:32,553
Danny: Shit, I can't believe
you guys are here. Oh, Jesus.

2301
01:30:32,637 --> 01:30:36,390
That's fucking crazy, and your
timing couldn't be more perfect.

2302
01:30:36,766 --> 01:30:39,352
It's been a long time since
any of us have eaten,

2303
01:30:39,435 --> 01:30:42,230
and you three gentlemen
look delicious.

2304
01:30:42,313 --> 01:30:43,439
What does that have
to do with us?

2305
01:30:43,523 --> 01:30:45,358
The fuck are you talking about?
(CHUCKLES)

2306
01:30:45,441 --> 01:30:47,110
I'm a cannibal, hombre.

2307
01:30:47,193 --> 01:30:48,986
We're gonna fucking
eat your ass.

2308
01:30:49,070 --> 01:30:50,655
Fuck you, you can't eat us.
Fuck that, man.

2309
01:30:50,738 --> 01:30:53,574
I do whatever the fuck
I want, when I want.

2310
01:30:53,658 --> 01:30:55,243
I butt-fucked this dude.

2311
01:30:56,410 --> 01:30:57,411
See that?

2312
01:30:57,495 --> 01:30:59,080
I fucking slide
right in that shit.

2313
01:30:59,163 --> 01:31:01,916
I do whatever I want.
This is my gimp.

2314
01:31:01,999 --> 01:31:03,543
Channing, introduce yourself.

2315
01:31:03,835 --> 01:31:04,919
Hey, what's up, guys?

2316
01:31:05,002 --> 01:31:06,420
Y'all cool?

2317
01:31:06,504 --> 01:31:07,922
<i>That's Chanting Tatum.</i>

2318
01:31:08,005 --> 01:31:09,757
That's Channing Tatum, dude.
What the fuck?

2319
01:31:09,841 --> 01:31:11,968
Channing fucking Tatum. I found
him wandering on the freeway.

2320
01:31:12,051 --> 01:31:14,720
I collected him, made him my bitch.
Get off my dick.

2321
01:31:14,804 --> 01:31:17,640
I call him Channing Tate-yum.

2322
01:31:17,723 --> 01:31:18,808
Hard-core, man.

2323
01:31:18,891 --> 01:31:19,976
I got him trained good.

2324
01:31:20,059 --> 01:31:21,686
Watch, he does tricks.
Wait, shake hands.

2325
01:31:21,769 --> 01:31:22,979
(WHISPERS) All right, Seth.

2326
01:31:23,062 --> 01:31:24,272
Danny: Fucking roll over.

2327
01:31:24,355 --> 01:31:25,857
I'm gonna create a diversion.
Yeah.

2328
01:31:25,940 --> 01:31:27,817
You and Jay make a run for it.
BOTH: What?

2329
01:31:27,900 --> 01:31:29,443
Danny's gonna eat you.

2330
01:31:29,527 --> 01:31:32,488
Listen, full-on sacrifice
for you, dawg,

2331
01:31:32,613 --> 01:31:34,615
<i>like the ending</i> to <i>Pineapple 2.
Danny: Yeah,</i> lick <i>that.</i>

2332
01:31:34,699 --> 01:31:36,284
That's Channing
fucking Tatum, dawg.

2333
01:31:36,742 --> 01:31:37,869
I love him.

2334
01:31:37,952 --> 01:31:40,913
That's fucking G.l. Joe, dude.
Fucking loves me. (CHUCKLES)

2335
01:31:41,247 --> 01:31:43,749
Danny! We're friends!
You can't eat us!

2336
01:31:43,833 --> 01:31:48,379
I'd love to catch up, but we're
fucking starving, so let's eat!

2337
01:31:48,462 --> 01:31:49,505
Fuck you! (SCREAMS)

2338
01:31:49,589 --> 01:31:51,090
(CHAINSAW REVVING)

2339
01:31:51,299 --> 01:31:52,717
Run!

2340
01:31:54,969 --> 01:31:56,012
Eat this!

2341
01:31:56,846 --> 01:31:59,515
OW! Shit, fuck! Get him!

2342
01:31:59,599 --> 01:32:00,683
(GRUNTS)

2343
01:32:00,766 --> 01:32:02,018
Who wants it, you
piece of shit?

2344
01:32:02,101 --> 01:32:03,435
Man, we should go back.

2345
01:32:03,436 --> 01:32:05,396
We should go back and help him.
We should go back.

2346
01:32:06,272 --> 01:32:07,440
(GRUNTS)

2347
01:32:08,649 --> 01:32:09,692
MAN: Fucking Rapture.

2348
01:32:09,775 --> 01:32:11,777
Holy shit! It worked!

2349
01:32:16,324 --> 01:32:17,742
What the fuck?

2350
01:32:17,825 --> 01:32:20,161
Go to hell, McBride!

2351
01:32:20,244 --> 01:32:21,829
FUCK you!

2352
01:32:22,121 --> 01:32:23,206
(LAUGHS)

2353
01:32:23,831 --> 01:32:25,750
Suck my dick!

2354
01:32:26,417 --> 01:32:27,460
Ah...

2355
01:32:28,294 --> 01:32:29,420
Oh!

2356
01:32:30,213 --> 01:32:31,839
Oh, shit. James: What happened?

2357
01:32:31,923 --> 01:32:34,091
What did I do? Take me back!

2358
01:32:34,175 --> 01:32:35,176
What did I do?

2359
01:32:35,259 --> 01:32:36,260
Danny: I'll tell you
what happened, Franco.

2360
01:32:36,344 --> 01:32:38,346
You don't get to get
sucked up into Heaven

2361
01:32:38,429 --> 01:32:41,807
'cause you were being petty.
Tom Petty.

2362
01:32:41,891 --> 01:32:43,809
You may not have invited
me to your party,

2363
01:32:44,602 --> 01:32:46,187
but you're the guest
of honor at mine.

2364
01:32:46,270 --> 01:32:47,313
James: What?

2365
01:32:48,439 --> 01:32:49,690
(SCREAMING)

2366
01:32:49,774 --> 01:32:50,775
(BOTH GROAN)

2367
01:32:50,858 --> 01:32:52,151
How fucking crazy is this?

2368
01:32:52,360 --> 01:32:53,361
(SHRIEKS)

2369
01:32:53,486 --> 01:32:54,737
(JAMES SCREAMING)

2370
01:32:56,280 --> 01:32:57,990
Danny: Seth, Jay!

2371
01:32:58,074 --> 01:32:59,700
Jay: Oh, shit, they're
running after us.

2372
01:32:59,784 --> 01:33:02,495
Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
Oh, shit! Run.

2373
01:33:02,578 --> 01:33:04,038
Danny: Bring them to me!

2374
01:33:04,121 --> 01:33:06,499
Fuck. Danny: Get 'em!

2375
01:33:06,999 --> 01:33:08,834
CANNIBAL 1: Got to get Rogen.

2376
01:33:10,169 --> 01:33:11,128
Over here.

2377
01:33:11,254 --> 01:33:13,005
What? Over here, over here.
Here. What?

2378
01:33:13,089 --> 01:33:15,841
Shit, shit.

2379
01:33:16,509 --> 01:33:18,386
They're around here somewhere.

2380
01:33:18,469 --> 01:33:20,429
CANNIBAL 2: They kept
running, you fucking idiots.

2381
01:33:20,805 --> 01:33:22,390
Shit, are they still there?

2382
01:33:22,473 --> 01:33:24,057
I think they're gone.
Are they gone?

2383
01:33:24,058 --> 01:33:25,977
Oh, my God. Why did
Franco flip off Danny?

2384
01:33:26,060 --> 01:33:27,645
Why did he have
to do that, man?

2385
01:33:27,728 --> 01:33:28,771
He was in the clear.

2386
01:33:28,854 --> 01:33:30,356
That is textbook.

2387
01:33:30,439 --> 01:33:31,941
Vanity or...

2388
01:33:32,024 --> 01:33:33,276
Is it vanity? Vanity or envy.

2389
01:33:33,359 --> 01:33:34,735
Is it envy or wrath?

2390
01:33:34,819 --> 01:33:36,821
It's any of them, man.
You can't do that.

2391
01:33:36,904 --> 01:33:38,489
It's being a sore
winner, is what it is,

2392
01:33:38,572 --> 01:33:39,865
more than anything. That's
exactly what it is.

2393
01:33:39,949 --> 01:33:41,189
You can't be a sore winner. No.

2394
01:33:41,742 --> 01:33:45,538
Well, this is another fine
mess we found ourselves in.

2395
01:33:48,916 --> 01:33:50,084
Fuck.

2396
01:33:50,501 --> 01:33:51,711
Listen, Jay...

2397
01:33:51,877 --> 01:33:53,671
(THUDDING) Oh, shit.

2398
01:33:55,756 --> 01:33:57,925
Get out of here, let's
get out of here.

2399
01:33:58,259 --> 01:33:59,802
(CREATURE GROWLING)

2400
01:34:02,221 --> 01:34:05,391
Oh, you've got to be
fucking shitting me!

2401
01:34:05,558 --> 01:34:07,393
Oh, my God. Oh, no.

2402
01:34:07,476 --> 01:34:09,186
Oh, my God. Oh, no.

2403
01:34:09,270 --> 01:34:10,479
That thing's big.

2404
01:34:10,563 --> 01:34:11,689
Holy shit.

2405
01:34:11,772 --> 01:34:13,024
Oh, it's so big.

2406
01:34:13,107 --> 01:34:16,986
Oh, man. Oh, Jesus.

2407
01:34:21,699 --> 01:34:23,075
(GROWLING)

2408
01:34:25,202 --> 01:34:26,329
We're gonna die, man. Okay.

2409
01:34:26,412 --> 01:34:27,533
Okay, we're gonna die. Uh...

2410
01:34:33,002 --> 01:34:34,920
Jesus! Oh, no!

2411
01:34:35,629 --> 01:34:36,922
(GROWLING)

2412
01:34:40,593 --> 01:34:41,761
Shit. Listen to me, man.

2413
01:34:41,844 --> 01:34:44,555
I'm a fucking idiot.
I put myself up.

2414
01:34:44,638 --> 01:34:45,973
I'm self-righteous.

2415
01:34:46,098 --> 01:34:47,558
I think I'm better than you.
No, no.

2416
01:34:47,641 --> 01:34:48,809
I was resistant to change.

2417
01:34:48,934 --> 01:34:50,895
No. I should have
grown with you.

2418
01:34:50,978 --> 01:34:52,938
I should have
changed with you.

2419
01:34:53,022 --> 01:34:54,315
We should have
changed together.

2420
01:34:54,398 --> 01:34:57,777
I didn't like what I became
so I hated what you became.

2421
01:34:57,860 --> 01:34:59,612
It's fine, man. It's fine.

2422
01:34:59,737 --> 01:35:01,530
I love you, Seth, fucking love you, buddy.
I love you, man.

2423
01:35:01,655 --> 01:35:03,074
I always loved you. Let's
die together, man.

2424
01:35:03,157 --> 01:35:04,992
Let's die together.
I love you, Jay.

2425
01:35:10,664 --> 01:35:12,416
(SCREECHING)

2426
01:35:12,750 --> 01:35:13,959
(GROWLING)

2427
01:35:15,753 --> 01:35:17,213
Holy shit, Jay, all right!

2428
01:35:17,296 --> 01:35:18,339
Yeah, we did it!

2429
01:35:18,422 --> 01:35:19,799
I'm not getting sucked
up into Heaven!

2430
01:35:19,882 --> 01:35:21,092
What do you mean? Why not?

2431
01:35:21,175 --> 01:35:22,760
I don't know why not!

2432
01:35:22,843 --> 01:35:23,928
Take my hand!

2433
01:35:24,011 --> 01:35:25,221
Okay, take me with you, Jay!

2434
01:35:25,304 --> 01:35:26,889
I'll take you with me.

2435
01:35:27,014 --> 01:35:28,474
Ah! Yay!

2436
01:35:28,557 --> 01:35:30,142
Yeah!

2437
01:35:30,309 --> 01:35:31,352
Ah!

2438
01:35:31,435 --> 01:35:32,478
Wooh!

2439
01:35:34,146 --> 01:35:35,689
Yeah! It's working!

2440
01:35:35,773 --> 01:35:36,982
Yeah!

2441
01:35:41,612 --> 01:35:42,655
<i>(ROARS)</i>

2442
01:35:43,155 --> 01:35:44,281
(SCREAMS)

2443
01:35:44,365 --> 01:35:46,909
Oh, no! He sees us!

2444
01:35:48,953 --> 01:35:51,247
Seth: He can't touch us!

2445
01:35:51,330 --> 01:35:52,915
We're in a force field!

2446
01:35:53,791 --> 01:35:55,084
<i>(ROARS)</i>

2447
01:35:57,169 --> 01:35:59,672
Oh, shit! Shit!

2448
01:36:03,467 --> 01:36:05,094
It's not gonna
take me with you!

2449
01:36:05,177 --> 01:36:06,262
We're going down!

2450
01:36:06,345 --> 01:36:09,265
Keep holding on and you'll
get pulled up, too!

2451
01:36:09,348 --> 01:36:11,267
It's not! No, I won't, man!

2452
01:36:11,350 --> 01:36:13,060
I don't deserve to.

2453
01:36:13,686 --> 01:36:14,895
Fuck.

2454
01:36:15,688 --> 01:36:18,065
<i>(1 WILL ALWAYS
LOVE YOU PLAYING)</i>

2455
01:36:18,607 --> 01:36:19,817
I'm gonna let go, Jay.

2456
01:36:19,900 --> 01:36:21,026
You'll die!

2457
01:36:21,110 --> 01:36:23,571
I know, but you won't.

2458
01:36:23,654 --> 01:36:24,864
No!

2459
01:36:24,947 --> 01:36:27,867
I don't deserve to go
to Heaven, but you do.

2460
01:36:27,950 --> 01:36:29,368
You do, okay?

2461
01:36:29,452 --> 01:36:31,328
We're both gonna die
if I don't let go.

2462
01:36:32,913 --> 01:36:35,249
I'm not gonna hold
you back anymore.

2463
01:36:37,501 --> 01:36:39,003
No!

2464
01:36:46,552 --> 01:36:48,554
<i>And I...</i>

2465
01:36:51,724 --> 01:36:54,852
<i>♪ Will always love you</i>

2466
01:36:55,561 --> 01:36:56,896
Yay!

2467
01:36:57,062 --> 01:36:59,106
<i>♪ I will always</i>

2468
01:36:59,231 --> 01:37:00,483
(LAUGHING)

2469
01:37:00,566 --> 01:37:02,735
<i>I Love you</i>

2470
01:37:02,818 --> 01:37:07,740
<i>♪ I will always love you</i>

2471
01:37:12,328 --> 01:37:14,413
Wooh! Yeah!

2472
01:37:14,914 --> 01:37:17,374
Come, hold my hand, buddy!

2473
01:37:17,458 --> 01:37:19,460
Hold my hand!

2474
01:37:19,543 --> 01:37:21,420
Yeah! You did it!

2475
01:37:21,504 --> 01:37:23,088
You did it! Yeah!

2476
01:37:23,172 --> 01:37:24,381
You did it!

2477
01:37:24,465 --> 01:37:26,800
Yeah! (LAUGHING)

2478
01:37:30,471 --> 01:37:32,431
We're flying!

2479
01:37:32,765 --> 01:37:35,434
<i>♪ Love you A'</i>

2480
01:37:35,518 --> 01:37:37,269
(BOTH WHOOPING)

2481
01:37:41,398 --> 01:37:43,901
<i>(SPIRIT IN THE SKY PLAYING)</i>

2482
01:37:47,279 --> 01:37:50,658
<i>♪ When I die and
they lay me to rest</i>

2483
01:37:51,116 --> 01:37:54,453
<i>♪ Gonna go to the
place that's the best</i>

2484
01:37:54,828 --> 01:37:57,748
<i>♪ When I lay me down to die</i>

2485
01:37:57,831 --> 01:37:58,874
Look! What?

2486
01:37:59,583 --> 01:38:00,626
(LAUGHS) Wow.

2487
01:38:00,793 --> 01:38:02,086
(BOTH GASP)

2488
01:38:05,631 --> 01:38:07,508
Welcome to Heaven,
motherfuckers.

2489
01:38:08,342 --> 01:38:10,010
BOTH: Craig!

2490
01:38:10,094 --> 01:38:11,095
(LAUGHS)

2491
01:38:11,637 --> 01:38:13,472
Yay! Yeah!

2492
01:38:13,973 --> 01:38:15,432
Craig. Oh, my...

2493
01:38:15,516 --> 01:38:16,517
What?

2494
01:38:16,600 --> 01:38:17,685
This is awesome.

2495
01:38:17,768 --> 01:38:19,436
Are you an angel? Yes, sir.

2496
01:38:19,520 --> 01:38:21,021
That's so cool, man.
That is so cool.

2497
01:38:21,105 --> 01:38:22,690
Congratulations, dude.

2498
01:38:23,023 --> 01:38:24,024
Ah, fellas.

2499
01:38:24,108 --> 01:38:25,859
Yeah. Yes.

2500
01:38:26,235 --> 01:38:27,695
Oh! Dude, you got one.

2501
01:38:27,778 --> 01:38:28,821
What? That's so cool.

2502
01:38:28,904 --> 01:38:30,071
Do I have one? Do I have one?

2503
01:38:30,072 --> 01:38:31,240
I can't see it. Do I have...

2504
01:38:31,323 --> 01:38:32,825
Wait. Let's touch 'em.

2505
01:38:33,951 --> 01:38:35,327
Dude, this is so... Wow.

2506
01:38:35,411 --> 01:38:36,996
What do we do now? Yeah.

2507
01:38:37,329 --> 01:38:38,330
Come this way.

2508
01:38:38,414 --> 01:38:39,623
Seth: Ooh...

2509
01:38:39,957 --> 01:38:42,543
<i>♪ So you know
that when you die</i>

2510
01:38:43,043 --> 01:38:44,837
<i>♪ He's gonna recommend you</i>

2511
01:38:44,920 --> 01:38:46,755
<i>♪ To the spirit in the sky</i>

2512
01:38:46,839 --> 01:38:48,257
<i>"CHORUS". 4“ Spirit
in the sky a“.</i>

2513
01:38:48,340 --> 01:38:51,552
Right? Do you love it?
Do you love it?

2514
01:38:52,219 --> 01:38:54,555
Whoa, they got weed in Heaven?

2515
01:38:54,638 --> 01:38:56,432
What? You tell me.

2516
01:38:57,016 --> 01:38:58,058
Oh! What?

2517
01:38:58,142 --> 01:39:01,103
Holy shit! That's awesome!

2518
01:39:02,646 --> 01:39:03,647
Oh.

2519
01:39:03,731 --> 01:39:04,898
Wow.

2520
01:39:04,982 --> 01:39:06,483
That's insane, man.

2521
01:39:06,567 --> 01:39:07,901
No, no, no, no, no, no.

2522
01:39:07,985 --> 01:39:10,613
That's Heaven. Anything you
could think of is yours.

2523
01:39:12,740 --> 01:39:13,991
Whoa!

2524
01:39:14,074 --> 01:39:16,785
Holy shit, this is awesome.

2525
01:39:16,869 --> 01:39:17,911
Segway!

2526
01:39:17,995 --> 01:39:19,663
I've always wanted to
ride one of these things.

2527
01:39:19,747 --> 01:39:21,957
Go ahead, Jay, make a wish.

2528
01:39:22,041 --> 01:39:23,162
Anything you could think of.

2529
01:39:23,709 --> 01:39:25,044
Anything?

2530
01:39:27,254 --> 01:39:29,757
<i>I Everybody, yeah</i>

2531
01:39:30,049 --> 01:39:31,383
(ALL GASP)

2532
01:39:31,925 --> 01:39:33,302
<i>I Rock your body, yeah.</i>

2533
01:39:33,385 --> 01:39:34,386
What?

2534
01:39:35,638 --> 01:39:37,640
No fucking way.

2535
01:39:37,723 --> 01:39:39,224
<i>♪ Everybody</i>

2536
01:39:39,308 --> 01:39:41,477
<i>♪ Rock your body right</i>

2537
01:39:41,560 --> 01:39:43,228
(ALL CHEERING)

2538
01:39:43,312 --> 01:39:44,813
<i>♪ Backstreet's back</i>

2539
01:39:44,897 --> 01:39:46,231
<i>ALL: A' All right</i>

2540
01:39:50,736 --> 01:39:52,237
<i>♪ Hey, yeah</i>

2541
01:39:54,448 --> 01:39:57,159
<i>♪ Oh, my God, we're back again</i>

2542
01:39:58,911 --> 01:40:01,705
<i>♪ Brothers, sisters,
everybody sing</i>

2543
01:40:03,040 --> 01:40:06,085
<i>♪ Gonna bring the
flavor show you how</i>

2544
01:40:07,586 --> 01:40:11,590
<i>♪ Gotta question for you
better answer now, yeah</i>

2545
01:40:11,715 --> 01:40:14,301
<i>♪ Am I original?</i>

2546
01:40:14,510 --> 01:40:15,761
<i>♪ Yeah</i>

2547
01:40:15,886 --> 01:40:18,555
<i>♪ Am I the only one?</i>

2548
01:40:18,931 --> 01:40:20,391
<i>♪ Yeah</i>

2549
01:40:20,474 --> 01:40:23,268
<i>♪ Am I sexual?</i>

2550
01:40:23,394 --> 01:40:24,978
<i>♪ Yeah</i>

2551
01:40:25,312 --> 01:40:27,147
<i>♪ Am I everything you need?</i>

2552
01:40:27,231 --> 01:40:29,525
<i>♪ You better rock
your body now</i>

2553
01:40:29,608 --> 01:40:32,111
<i>♪ Everybody</i>

2554
01:40:32,194 --> 01:40:33,862
<i>♪ Yeah</i>

2555
01:40:33,946 --> 01:40:36,532
<i>♪ Rock your body</i>

2556
01:40:36,782 --> 01:40:38,325
<i>♪ Yeah</i>

2557
01:40:38,409 --> 01:40:41,036
<i>♪ Everybody</i>

2558
01:40:41,120 --> 01:40:43,872
<i>♪ Rock your body right</i>

2559
01:40:45,541 --> 01:40:48,419
<i>♪ Backstreet's back, all right</i>

2560
01:40:51,630 --> 01:40:53,215
<i>♪ All right</i>

2561
01:40:54,383 --> 01:40:57,136
<i>♪ Backstreet's
back, all right 4“</i>

2562
01:40:57,302 --> 01:40:58,595
(ALL CHEERING)