1
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(please select 2nd audio track
to enjoy AC3 Dolby Digital 5.1)

2
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Hey, Seth Rogen. What up, man?

3
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Oh, hey, John! Over here!

4
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<i>Welcome to</i>
<i>Los Angeles International Airport.</i>

5
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<i>Attention, all passengers.</i>

6
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<i>Do not leave your baggage unattended.</i>

7
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<i>All unattended baggage</i>
<i>is subject to search...</i>

8
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We're so happy!

9
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Look at this!

10
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- What's happening, man?
- Good to see you, buddy.

11
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- How you doing?
- I'm good, man.

12
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Yes, you are.

13
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How long has it been, man?

14
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Sometime in the last...

15
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- Inside of a year or something.
- Yeah.

16
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I have the best weekend ever planned, man.

17
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- Lay it on me.
- I don't want to ruin it.

18
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- Seth Rogen!
- Shit, here we go. Hey.

19
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- How's it going, man?
- Yeah, good.

20
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So, you, like, always play,
like, the same guy in every movie.

21
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When are you gonna do some,
like, real acting, man?

22
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Okay, thank you.

23
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Give me something.
Give me, like, the laugh, man.

24
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Give me the Seth Rogen laugh.

25
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Seth Rogen, everybody.

26
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All right, I've landed. I'm here.
We've said our hellos.

27
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Can we please go to fucking Carl's Jr?

28
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I would love to. I'm on a...

29
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I can't really eat that stuff right now.

30
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- I'm on a...
- What?

31
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I'm on this cleanse.

32
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You're on a what?

33
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I'm on a cleanse.

34
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- What?
- It's good for you.

35
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I didn't know...
You're supposed to take six shits a day.

36
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- That's not true.
- It is true!

37
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- You're supposed to shit twice a day.
- No.

38
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That's not true.
That's what they used to think.

39
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Now they know you're supposed
to shit six times a day.

40
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So you're not drinking.
You're not smoking weed. You're not...

41
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- No, no, I'm drinking and smoking weed.
- But...

42
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I'm on a cleanse. I'm not psychotic.

43
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Look, man, if you stopped eating gluten,
you'd feel way fucking better all day.

44
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Whenever you feel shitty,
that's 'cause of gluten.

45
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- That's not true.
- It is.

46
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- Who the fuck told you not to eat gluten?
- It's just true.

47
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- You don't even know what gluten is.
- I know what fucking gluten is.

48
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- No, you have no idea what gluten is.
- I do know what gluten is.

49
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Gluten's a vague term.

50
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It's something that's used
to categorize things that are bad, you know?

51
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Calories, that's a gluten. Fat, that's a gluten.

52
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Somebody just told you
you probably shouldn't eat gluten,

53
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you're like, "I guess I shouldn't eat gluten."

54
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Gluten means bad shit, man,
and I'm not eating it.

55
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God!

56
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Each bite is better than the previous bite.

57
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- It is.
- Gluten!

58
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- Hey, this looks beautiful.
- Yeah. Do you like it? I totally redid it.

59
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- It's fucking awesome.
- It's all new. Those are new.

60
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- God damn, son!
- It's pretty nice, huh?

61
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So this is how the other half lives.

62
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- Come on.
- Amazing.

63
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- Air hockey tables.
- Jesus Murphy!

64
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- Right? Okay, get ready, Jay.
- What?

65
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- I have a little surprise for you.
- Okay.

66
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Here's the best weekend
you ever had in your life.

67
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- Look at it, man.
- Oh, my... Are you serious?

68
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It's all of your favorite things.

69
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- Starburst and Airheads on a...
- Yeah.

70
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And it says "Jay."

71
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- In joints.
- In joints.

72
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It says "Jay" in jays.

73
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Seth Rogen, you are just the best people.

74
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Come on, I know you don't love it in LA,
so I figure I'll make it...

75
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You know, I'll lube up your entry a little bit.

76
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- It eases the transition.
- Yeah, right?

77
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This is the much-needed foreplay.

78
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- You know what else I got?
- Yo, this...

79
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- A 3-D television.
- No, you didn't...

80
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- I got a 3-D TV.
- Are you serious?

81
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- Oh, my God.
- I did it, man.

82
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What?

83
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Let's get into it.

84
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Oh, my God, bud.

85
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It's Gandalf the Grey's pipe.

86
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Damn, no shit.

87
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Hello, little hobbit.

88
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- Spark my ganja.
- Yeah.

89
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I'm a well-known homosexual advocate.

103
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♫ Backstreet's back, all right

104
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♫ Hey, hey, yeah, well

105
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♫ Everybody Rock your body

106
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♫ Everybody ♫ Everybody

107
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♫ Rock your body right
♫ Rock your body

108
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♫ Everybody!

109
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♫ Backstreet's back...
Alright! ♫

90
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My eyes feel like they're melting.

91
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I need a break.

92
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You know what, actually?
We should go to Franco's house soon.

93
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He's having a housewarming party.
He just finished building his house.

94
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I haven't even seen it yet,
but it's supposed to be bonkers.

95
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I haven't been in LA in, like, a year,
and I came here to chill with you.

96
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We can chill together,
and we'll chill with those other guys.

97
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We'll all chill as one big unit.

98
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- Will I even know anybody there?
- You know James Franco.

99
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- James Franco doesn't even know my name.
- Jonah Hill will be there.

100
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Can't stand him. He can't stand me.

101
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He's, like, the nicest guy in the world!
He likes you so much.

102
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He specifically talks about how he likes you.

103
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Out of nowhere, he just said,
"You know what? Jay's an inspiration."

104
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There's no way he said that.
Also, just can't stand him.

105
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- Okay, fine. Craig Robinson.
- Never met him.

106
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He's hilarious.

107
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Sweats a lot, but he's a great guy.

108
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So it's gonna be fun, man.

109
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For you, I will go.

110
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I promise, I'll stay with you all night, okay?

111
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I won't ditch you.
No, 'cause I want to be with you all night.

112
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And you know why else?

113
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'Cause nobody puts Jay in the corner.

114
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Awesome.

115
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- Thank you.
- Thank you. There you go. Cool.

116
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- Thanks a lot, eh?
- Thanks a lot.

117
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Okay, man.

118
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Holy shit.

119
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This is crazy!

120
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- Yeah?
- Yeah, man, right?

121
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- Look at it.
- A bit much.

122
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I don't think it is a bit much.
I think it's right on the money.

123
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What is he, Pablo Escobar?

124
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Come on, man, this is an awesome street.
Channing Tatum lives up there.

125
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For the love of...
Will you stop talking about...

126
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This is the sexiest street in America.

127
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- You and Channing Tatum.
- I think he's attractive.

128
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- I think it's a cool house.
- I know you do.

129
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I can't wait to see inside it.
That's why I'm excited.

130
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Yes! What's up, man? Seth!

131
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- So happy you're here.
- I'm so happy to be here.

132
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Hey, Johnny, what's up?

133
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- It's Jay.
- It's Jay.

134
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I'll never forget it again, man.
Good to see you.

135
00:06:50,707 --> 00:06:52,436
- Nice to see you. Come on in.
- Yeah! Yeah, great.

136
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Check it out. My new place!

137
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Awesome, man!

138
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Designed it myself.

139
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Really cool. This place is beautiful, man.

140
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This place is like a piece of me.

141
00:07:02,786 --> 00:07:04,845
You two just stepped inside me.

142
00:07:05,388 --> 00:07:08,050
You let us both cum inside you. Yeah.

143
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Icing on the cake. Check it out.

144
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Painted them myself.

145
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Side by side. A team.

146
00:07:16,132 --> 00:07:17,121
Holy shit.

147
00:07:17,601 --> 00:07:19,330
So, is it weird?

148
00:07:19,402 --> 00:07:21,370
- No.
- You sure?

149
00:07:21,438 --> 00:07:23,099
I really like it.

150
00:07:23,173 --> 00:07:24,299
What do you think, Jay?

151
00:07:24,374 --> 00:07:26,501
I'm not a big art guy.

152
00:07:26,576 --> 00:07:27,838
You don't like art?

153
00:07:27,911 --> 00:07:29,811
Well, come on...

154
00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:31,814
- You play video games?
- Yes.

155
00:07:31,882 --> 00:07:35,045
- Well, guess what, buddy? You like art.
- Yep.

156
00:07:35,118 --> 00:07:37,348
- You ever been to Subway?
- Yes.

157
00:07:37,420 --> 00:07:38,819
You order a sandwich?

158
00:07:38,889 --> 00:07:41,050
Somebody put that together for you, dude.
That's art.

159
00:07:41,157 --> 00:07:42,249
Sandwich artist.

160
00:07:42,325 --> 00:07:44,623
- So, let me lay this on you, Jay.
- Fuck.

161
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Your mama's pussy was the canvas.
Your dad's dick was the paintbrush.

162
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Boom. You're the art.

163
00:07:50,734 --> 00:07:52,326
- Thanks, James Franco.
- You got it.

164
00:07:52,402 --> 00:07:53,892
- Seth!
- Mindy, hello.

165
00:07:53,970 --> 00:07:55,562
- Oh, my God, great to see you.
- You, too.

166
00:07:55,639 --> 00:07:56,901
Long time. How's it going?

167
00:07:56,973 --> 00:07:59,237
- You know Jay?
- I don't think I've ever actually met you.

168
00:07:59,309 --> 00:08:01,004
You were so good in <i>Million Dollar Baby.</i>

169
00:08:01,077 --> 00:08:03,068
That's amazing.
Thank you so much for saying that.

170
00:08:03,146 --> 00:08:05,137
Oh, my God,
if I don't fuck Michael Cera tonight,

171
00:08:05,215 --> 00:08:07,183
- I'm gonna blow my brains out.
- What?

172
00:08:07,250 --> 00:08:09,480
Fucking pale, 110 pounds,

173
00:08:09,553 --> 00:08:13,011
hairless, probably has a huge cock,
coked out of his mind...

174
00:08:13,089 --> 00:08:15,353
You can do a lot better. That's just trouble.

175
00:08:15,425 --> 00:08:18,986
So, Ri-Ri, how about you,
you ever see a psychiatrist?

176
00:08:23,667 --> 00:08:25,396
- That's not cool.
- Don't touch my butt, bitch.

177
00:08:25,468 --> 00:08:27,527
- Michael, that's not cool.
- Would you shut the fuck up, Jason!

178
00:08:27,604 --> 00:08:29,469
We're playing a game, man.

179
00:08:29,940 --> 00:08:31,737
Say cheese, baby.

180
00:08:33,109 --> 00:08:34,542
- What's up, buddy?
- How's it going, dude?

181
00:08:34,611 --> 00:08:35,839
Good to see you, man.

182
00:08:35,912 --> 00:08:37,470
- Is that Jay Baruchel?
- Hi, there. Hey.

183
00:08:37,547 --> 00:08:38,605
Oh, my God, get in here, dude.

184
00:08:38,682 --> 00:08:40,274
- How's it going, Jonah?
- What are you doing?

185
00:08:40,350 --> 00:08:42,648
- Good. How you doing, buddy?
- Oh, my gosh.

186
00:08:42,719 --> 00:08:44,744
- Welcome back.
- Thank you very much.

187
00:08:44,821 --> 00:08:46,721
- When'd you get in?
- This morning,

188
00:08:46,790 --> 00:08:48,621
and boy, are my arms tired.

189
00:08:50,226 --> 00:08:51,420
Dude, that's great.

190
00:08:51,494 --> 00:08:52,518
- Thank you.
- Sick.

191
00:08:52,596 --> 00:08:54,086
What have you guys been doing?

192
00:08:54,164 --> 00:08:56,029
We just hung out all day.

193
00:08:56,099 --> 00:09:00,035
Ate a bunch of dirty burgers,
and smoked about a fucking pound of weed

194
00:09:00,103 --> 00:09:01,536
and played a bunch of video games.

195
00:09:01,605 --> 00:09:03,800
Weed is tight. Weed is tight. That's awesome.

196
00:09:03,873 --> 00:09:05,101
That's awesome. Weed is awesome.

197
00:09:05,175 --> 00:09:07,541
It was like
the golfing sequence in <i>Navy SEALs.</i>

198
00:09:07,611 --> 00:09:09,636
- Sick reference, though, bro.
- Thanks, bud.

199
00:09:09,713 --> 00:09:11,908
Dude, your references are out of control.
Everyone knows that.

200
00:09:11,982 --> 00:09:13,574
- Hey, thanks, man.
- I'm jealous.

201
00:09:13,650 --> 00:09:15,948
I would have been there in a heartbeat,

202
00:09:16,019 --> 00:09:19,352
but I actually just adopted
this incontinent spaniel.

203
00:09:19,422 --> 00:09:20,514
She's a really beautiful soul.

204
00:09:20,590 --> 00:09:22,217
- Her name's Ahjhai.
- Ahjhai?

205
00:09:22,292 --> 00:09:23,316
- Yeah.
- How do you spell it?

206
00:09:23,393 --> 00:09:26,157
- A-H-J-H-A-I.
- A-H...

207
00:09:26,229 --> 00:09:27,218
You want to see a picture of her?

208
00:09:27,297 --> 00:09:29,356
- She's so sweet.
- Hey!

209
00:09:29,432 --> 00:09:30,660
Look at her.

210
00:09:30,734 --> 00:09:32,429
She can't bark. She doesn't know how, so...

211
00:09:32,502 --> 00:09:34,663
- She doesn't know how to bark, even?
- She doesn't know how to bark,

212
00:09:34,738 --> 00:09:36,365
so I've tried to teach her

213
00:09:36,439 --> 00:09:38,600
and she just kind of screams,
and so she was up,

214
00:09:38,675 --> 00:09:41,940
had her face smushed against the cage,
and was, like...

215
00:09:43,546 --> 00:09:44,945
Yeah, cool.

216
00:09:45,582 --> 00:09:47,914
Tell you what, boys, I'm kind of jonesing,

217
00:09:47,984 --> 00:09:51,351
so I'm gonna find someone
I can bum a smoke off of outside, all right?

218
00:09:51,421 --> 00:09:54,288
- That's tight, dude. Honestly, I like you.
- Hey, likewise.

219
00:09:54,357 --> 00:09:55,790
Okay, dude, come back.

220
00:09:55,859 --> 00:09:58,692
I'll be right back. You're holding court.
All right, boys.

221
00:09:58,995 --> 00:10:01,987
Dude. I know.
I think we're making some progress.

222
00:10:02,065 --> 00:10:04,431
- That was really good.
- And honestly, he's your old friend.

223
00:10:04,501 --> 00:10:06,969
- We're your new friends. He feels threatened.
- Yeah, man.

224
00:10:07,037 --> 00:10:08,698
You know, and I get it.

225
00:10:08,772 --> 00:10:09,761
It's gonna be fine.

226
00:10:09,839 --> 00:10:12,433
I honestly think tonight's the night
we bust this whole thing open.

227
00:10:12,509 --> 00:10:15,672
And I'm lucky.
It's the same thing a lot, though.

228
00:10:15,745 --> 00:10:17,406
It's, like, my TV wife opens the fridge,

229
00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:20,313
and is, like,
"What happened to the birthday cake?"

230
00:10:20,383 --> 00:10:23,079
And I come out with, like, a little frosting,
like,

231
00:10:23,153 --> 00:10:24,484
"What birthday cake?"

232
00:10:24,554 --> 00:10:26,146
- 'Cause you ate the cake!
- Yeah.

233
00:10:26,222 --> 00:10:27,450
'Cause you ate the cake!

234
00:10:27,524 --> 00:10:28,718
"It's my birthday."

235
00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:33,154
That's why y'all number one. 'Cause of that.

236
00:10:33,463 --> 00:10:34,521
- You're Jay, right?
- Yeah.

237
00:10:34,597 --> 00:10:35,621
- Seth's boy?
- Yeah.

238
00:10:35,699 --> 00:10:38,133
- How you doing, man? Good to see you.
- Good. Likewise, likewise.

239
00:10:38,201 --> 00:10:40,192
- I'm Craig, man. This is Emma.
- Hi. Hi, there.

240
00:10:40,503 --> 00:10:41,936
You just in town visiting him, or what?

241
00:10:42,005 --> 00:10:45,133
Yeah. Just for a little visit, you know.

242
00:10:45,208 --> 00:10:47,199
I try to not come down here very much.

243
00:10:47,277 --> 00:10:48,574
I don't really love it here.

244
00:10:48,645 --> 00:10:53,480
- You don't like LA?
- I'm just not really into the LA lifestyle.

245
00:10:53,983 --> 00:10:55,314
What lifestyle are you into?

246
00:10:55,385 --> 00:10:57,876
Look at him. He's, like, a hipster, right?

247
00:10:57,954 --> 00:11:00,548
No, I'm not a hipster, at all.

248
00:11:00,623 --> 00:11:03,217
Yeah, yeah, you do seem
to hate a lot of things,

249
00:11:03,293 --> 00:11:04,988
and the bottom of your pants are awful tight.

250
00:11:05,061 --> 00:11:08,895
No, I just... I don't like Los Angeles.
It doesn't make me a hipster.

251
00:11:08,965 --> 00:11:11,229
I'll bet you hate movies
that are universally loved.

252
00:11:11,301 --> 00:11:13,428
- I don't even...
- You like <i>Forrest Gump?</i>

253
00:11:13,503 --> 00:11:16,131
No, no, it's a horrendous piece of shit.

254
00:11:16,206 --> 00:11:18,265
"Life is like a box of chocolates," no?

255
00:11:18,341 --> 00:11:19,865
Yeah, no, I'm familiar with it.

256
00:11:20,944 --> 00:11:23,139
"You never know what you're gonna get."

257
00:11:24,347 --> 00:11:27,077
Why don't we do a sequel
to <i>Pineapple Express?</i>

258
00:11:27,150 --> 00:11:29,641
- I would love to do a sequel to <i>Pineapple.</i>
- Do you have any ideas, or...

259
00:11:29,719 --> 00:11:31,277
- I do have an idea.
- What?

260
00:11:31,354 --> 00:11:34,585
It's that Red, Danny,
has become, like, the drug lord,

261
00:11:34,657 --> 00:11:36,648
you know, since we killed the other one,

262
00:11:36,726 --> 00:11:38,819
and he wants
to assassinate Woody Harrelson,

263
00:11:38,895 --> 00:11:41,864
'cause he's gonna give a speech
that makes all of weed legal,

264
00:11:41,931 --> 00:11:44,365
effectively rendering
drug lords out of business.

265
00:11:44,434 --> 00:11:46,231
- Awesome.
- Yeah, it's fucking awesome,

266
00:11:46,302 --> 00:11:48,896
but we don't have...
We don't know how it should end yet.

267
00:11:48,972 --> 00:11:50,303
I know.

268
00:11:50,373 --> 00:11:53,001
- Danny's trying to kill us.
- Yeah.

269
00:11:53,076 --> 00:11:55,636
And I sacrifice myself for you.

270
00:11:55,712 --> 00:11:58,203
And he kills me,

271
00:11:58,281 --> 00:11:59,578
and I die for you.

272
00:12:00,183 --> 00:12:02,583
And Danny fucking eats me.

273
00:12:03,419 --> 00:12:05,250
- Why does he eat you?
- I don't know.

274
00:12:05,321 --> 00:12:07,881
I'm just trying to think of, like,
the nastiest way to go.

275
00:12:07,957 --> 00:12:10,323
Yeah, he could eat you. Okay.
That's a good idea, man.

276
00:12:10,393 --> 00:12:12,762
He's just out of his mind.
He just, like, eats me.

277
00:12:13,163 --> 00:12:14,391
- Hey, Chris.
- How's it going?

278
00:12:14,464 --> 00:12:16,432
Hey, does this coke smell funny?

279
00:12:16,499 --> 00:12:18,433
- Fuck!
- Michael, what the fuck, man?

280
00:12:18,501 --> 00:12:20,059
That's expensive shit, motherfucker!

281
00:12:20,136 --> 00:12:21,228
What are you doing?

282
00:12:21,304 --> 00:12:23,704
I've never fucking done cocaine, dude.
Why does it fucking...

283
00:12:23,773 --> 00:12:25,707
Well, you did the best shit possible
for your first time,

284
00:12:25,775 --> 00:12:28,039
- 'cause that's good fucking...
- Fuck, fuck, fuck, I'm nervous, dude.

285
00:12:28,111 --> 00:12:29,476
- I don't know what...
- What is wrong with you, man?

286
00:12:29,546 --> 00:12:30,604
- Look, he's freaking out.
- Oh, shit.

287
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:32,147
I've never done
this fucking drug before, man.

288
00:12:32,215 --> 00:12:33,239
Mike, please.

289
00:12:33,316 --> 00:12:34,943
I'll walk you through it.
I will walk you through it.

290
00:12:35,018 --> 00:12:36,781
- Mike, no one...
- I'll be your guide.

291
00:12:36,853 --> 00:12:38,445
- You're fine, Chris. You're fine.
- Is it on...

292
00:12:38,521 --> 00:12:40,716
- You got some in your mustache, baby.
- What are you... Michael!

293
00:12:41,357 --> 00:12:45,191
Now, fellas, I want you to real sexy right now.
We're gonna sing to all the ladies.

294
00:12:45,261 --> 00:12:48,697
All the fellas go like this,
in your Barry White voice.

295
00:12:48,765 --> 00:12:50,460
♫ <i>Take your panties off</i>

296
00:12:50,533 --> 00:12:52,125
♫ <i>Take your panties off</i>

297
00:12:52,202 --> 00:12:53,760
♫ <i>Take your panties off</i>

298
00:12:54,237 --> 00:12:55,727
♫ <i>Take your panties off</i>

299
00:12:55,805 --> 00:12:59,036
♫ <i>Come on, Rihanna</i>
♫ <i>Take your panties off for me</i>

300
00:12:59,108 --> 00:13:02,100
♫ <i>Come on, Craig, can you fuck off for me?</i>♫

301
00:13:05,048 --> 00:13:06,743
I'll do one of them things.

302
00:13:07,383 --> 00:13:08,645
Like an angel.

303
00:13:08,718 --> 00:13:10,413
What about the host of the party?

304
00:13:10,486 --> 00:13:12,147
♫ <i>I ain't got no panties on</i>

305
00:13:12,755 --> 00:13:14,916
♫ <i>He ain't got no panties, everybody!</i>

306
00:13:14,991 --> 00:13:16,720
♫ <i>We ain't got no panties on</i>

307
00:13:16,793 --> 00:13:18,488
♫ <i>We ain't got no panties on</i>

308
00:13:18,561 --> 00:13:20,256
♫ <i>We ain't got no panties on</i>

309
00:13:20,330 --> 00:13:22,525
♫ <i>We ain't got no panties on</i>

310
00:13:23,867 --> 00:13:25,630
♫ <i>Ain't nobody got no panties on</i>

311
00:13:25,702 --> 00:13:27,169
♫ <i>We ain't got no panties on</i>

312
00:13:27,237 --> 00:13:30,070
♫ <i>Ain't no party like a no-panty party</i>
<i>  'Cause a no-panty party don't stop</i>

313
00:13:30,607 --> 00:13:32,302
♫ <i>Fuck those panties</i>

314
00:13:32,375 --> 00:13:33,865
♫ <i>Fuck those...</i>

315
00:13:33,943 --> 00:13:35,877
♫ <i>Fuck those panties</i>

316
00:13:35,945 --> 00:13:37,469
♫ <i>Fuck those panties</i>

317
00:13:37,547 --> 00:13:39,037
♫ <i>Fuck those panties</i>♫

318
00:13:39,115 --> 00:13:40,412
What's not kid-friendly?

319
00:13:40,483 --> 00:13:41,950
- There's a lot of sharp edges.
- Concrete, sharp edges.

320
00:13:42,018 --> 00:13:43,508
He's gonna bust his head open
on one of those things.

321
00:13:43,586 --> 00:13:45,884
A kid could fall off
this fucking railing right here.

322
00:13:45,955 --> 00:13:47,786
That's why you have the railing,
so they don't fall.

323
00:13:47,857 --> 00:13:49,757
- Hey. Sorry.
- I want to have kids one day.

324
00:13:49,826 --> 00:13:52,488
- Hey, Jay.
- Oh, hey, hi, Jonah.

325
00:13:52,562 --> 00:13:54,553
Is there any place around here
I can buy a pack of cigarettes?

326
00:13:54,631 --> 00:13:55,689
Yeah.

327
00:13:55,765 --> 00:13:57,392
There's a place like,
it's like, four blocks away, maybe.

328
00:13:58,067 --> 00:13:59,466
You want to come with me?

329
00:13:59,535 --> 00:14:01,469
Give me this much time.
That much joint time.

330
00:14:04,073 --> 00:14:05,836
- Jesus!
- Hey, Jay.

331
00:14:06,309 --> 00:14:08,368
Hey, you need to use the toilet, honey?
Go ahead.

332
00:14:09,045 --> 00:14:10,842
Nope, I'm... I sorry.

333
00:14:11,180 --> 00:14:13,444
Who wants a sip? Sip time.

334
00:14:25,628 --> 00:14:26,720
You okay, man?

335
00:14:26,796 --> 00:14:28,491
It's nothing. It's just, you know,

336
00:14:28,564 --> 00:14:31,692
as soon as we got there,
you did what you said you wouldn't do.

337
00:14:31,768 --> 00:14:34,066
- What did I do?
- You just fucking ditched my ass.

338
00:14:34,137 --> 00:14:36,935
I didn't ditch you. Are you kidding me, man?

339
00:14:37,006 --> 00:14:38,234
I did not ditch you.

340
00:14:38,308 --> 00:14:41,641
I was talking to Jonah,
and then you left to go have a cigarette.

341
00:14:41,711 --> 00:14:44,805
Well, you know, my cigarette was an excuse.

342
00:14:44,881 --> 00:14:47,008
I really went outside
'cause Jonah was being a prick.

343
00:14:47,083 --> 00:14:48,744
Jonah was not being a prick.

344
00:14:48,818 --> 00:14:50,308
If anything, you were kind of being a prick.

345
00:14:50,386 --> 00:14:51,978
Jonah's the nicest guy ever, man.

346
00:14:52,055 --> 00:14:54,785
Oh, my God, that's a thin veneer of kindness.

347
00:14:54,857 --> 00:14:55,881
Nobody's that nice.

348
00:14:55,959 --> 00:14:57,051
Jonah is that nice.

349
00:14:57,126 --> 00:14:58,650
Serial killers are that nice.

350
00:14:58,728 --> 00:15:00,662
Just answer me one question.

351
00:15:00,730 --> 00:15:03,028
Is Michael Cera's butthole
as adorable as I pictured?

352
00:15:03,099 --> 00:15:04,361
Oh, for fuck's sake.

353
00:15:04,434 --> 00:15:08,131
I picture it looking like a little donut,
like a little pink sprinkled donut.

354
00:15:08,571 --> 00:15:10,198
It's so bright in here.

355
00:15:10,273 --> 00:15:11,831
It is fucking bright.

356
00:15:11,908 --> 00:15:13,705
I'm so high.

357
00:15:13,776 --> 00:15:17,234
There's so many delicious choices.
What do I do?

358
00:15:17,313 --> 00:15:19,213
- I'm gonna get something to drink.
- Okay.

359
00:15:19,282 --> 00:15:22,513
Excuse me, would it be possible
for my daughter to use your restroom?

360
00:15:22,585 --> 00:15:24,075
She's really got to go.

361
00:15:24,153 --> 00:15:26,519
Read the sign. Customers only.

362
00:15:26,589 --> 00:15:27,613
Seriously?

363
00:15:27,690 --> 00:15:30,318
Why the fuck you think I put up the sign?

364
00:15:30,393 --> 00:15:32,190
It's okay, Dad. I can hold it.

365
00:15:32,261 --> 00:15:34,786
Let's just buy something for your mother.

366
00:15:34,864 --> 00:15:37,424
Yeah, well, I guess you better, huh?

367
00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:41,061
This cash register lady is mean.
I have anxiety. Will you buy this for me?

368
00:15:41,137 --> 00:15:42,604
When I'm stoned, I can't do this.

369
00:15:42,672 --> 00:15:44,867
I think I'm just gonna head
back to your place.

370
00:15:44,941 --> 00:15:47,842
I'm not really liking it very much
over there at Franco's.

371
00:15:47,910 --> 00:15:50,344
Dude, I want you to get to know these guys.
That's never gonna happen

372
00:15:50,413 --> 00:15:53,348
if you don't put in
any effort whatsoever, okay?

373
00:15:53,416 --> 00:15:54,974
I hate it in there.

374
00:15:55,051 --> 00:15:57,645
I just want to drink some pop
and smoke some weed.

375
00:16:15,571 --> 00:16:16,799
What about...

376
00:16:19,475 --> 00:16:21,238
What about me?

377
00:16:46,536 --> 00:16:48,026
Are you okay? Are you okay?

378
00:16:48,104 --> 00:16:49,503
Did you just see that?

379
00:16:49,572 --> 00:16:50,903
What the hell?

380
00:16:52,275 --> 00:16:55,073
- Oh, my God, Jesus, Jesus!
- Run, run, run!

381
00:16:56,312 --> 00:16:59,247
- This way!
- Okay, okay, okay!

382
00:17:03,219 --> 00:17:04,948
Oh, my God!

383
00:17:05,021 --> 00:17:06,283
Jesus.

384
00:17:07,890 --> 00:17:08,948
Run!

385
00:17:09,025 --> 00:17:10,356
Jesus Christ!

386
00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:13,695
Why the fuck did you bring me down here?

387
00:17:15,898 --> 00:17:17,957
- The fuck, Seth?
- I don't know what's happening!

388
00:17:19,268 --> 00:17:21,133
- We're going back to Franco's.
- Why?

389
00:17:21,938 --> 00:17:24,133
Just run! Keep running!

390
00:17:24,207 --> 00:17:25,504
Oh, my fuck!

391
00:17:27,143 --> 00:17:29,304
We are going back to Franco's!

392
00:17:29,378 --> 00:17:30,436
God damn it.

393
00:17:32,048 --> 00:17:33,572
- Jesus!
- Shit!

394
00:17:34,450 --> 00:17:37,620
This way. We're almost there! We're so close!

395
00:17:42,925 --> 00:17:43,914
Hey, you guys okay?

396
00:17:43,993 --> 00:17:45,085
Are you guys okay?

397
00:17:45,161 --> 00:17:47,994
There was a crazy earthquake.
Did you guys feel that?

398
00:17:48,064 --> 00:17:49,497
- That was insane.
- Fuck, no.

399
00:17:49,565 --> 00:17:52,329
We can't feel anything in here.
This place is a fucking fortress.

400
00:17:52,401 --> 00:17:54,232
That wasn't an earthquake, man.

401
00:17:54,303 --> 00:17:55,895
- That was something way fucking crazier.
- No...

402
00:17:55,972 --> 00:17:56,961
What's crazier than an earthquake?

403
00:17:57,039 --> 00:18:00,497
There were beams of blue light
coming out of the sky

404
00:18:00,576 --> 00:18:03,101
and people getting sucked up into the sky.

405
00:18:03,179 --> 00:18:05,409
He's on hallucinogens.

406
00:18:05,481 --> 00:18:09,212
Come on, guys. Don't bully Jay.
He's a sweetheart.

407
00:18:09,285 --> 00:18:10,547
Keep going, man.
What are you talking about?

408
00:18:11,921 --> 00:18:16,858
There were people, and they were there,
and they got sucked up into the sky.

409
00:18:16,926 --> 00:18:18,757
- Jay.
- Sucked up into the sky?

410
00:18:18,828 --> 00:18:20,386
Nobody got sucked up in here.

411
00:18:20,463 --> 00:18:22,431
I got sucked off here.

412
00:18:26,369 --> 00:18:29,099
No, okay, ask Seth. He was...
You were there. Tell them.

413
00:18:29,172 --> 00:18:31,572
Seth, what the fuck's he talking about?

414
00:18:34,343 --> 00:18:37,278
I have no idea
what he's talking about honestly.

415
00:18:37,346 --> 00:18:40,110
Did anybody get sucked up into the sky?

416
00:18:40,183 --> 00:18:42,708
I didn't see anything.
I don't know what he's talking about.

417
00:18:42,785 --> 00:18:44,377
You were there with me.
What are you saying?

418
00:18:44,453 --> 00:18:47,445
All those people that were in the store
with us, they just fucking vanished.

419
00:18:47,523 --> 00:18:49,286
I didn't see blue light
sucking people up in the sky.

420
00:18:49,358 --> 00:18:51,724
You sound crazy, man.
We should just be lucky we're...

421
00:18:51,794 --> 00:18:54,092
- It's not over!
- It's okay. Just relax.

422
00:18:54,530 --> 00:18:58,762
Everyone, it's all right. Just a little tremor.
Party's still going.

423
00:18:58,834 --> 00:19:01,268
In-N-Out truck's coming in 10 minutes.

424
00:19:02,071 --> 00:19:04,005
- Yes.
- Animal style!

425
00:19:04,073 --> 00:19:05,768
Oh, my fuck!

426
00:19:05,841 --> 00:19:07,638
- Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
- Move! Move!

427
00:19:07,710 --> 00:19:09,905
- Move, move, move, move!
- This place is safe!

428
00:19:09,979 --> 00:19:11,742
This place is not safe!

429
00:19:11,814 --> 00:19:13,111
Craig, where you going, man?

430
00:19:13,182 --> 00:19:15,013
- It's a fucking earthquake!
- Fuck!

431
00:19:15,084 --> 00:19:16,915
- Move, move, move, come on!
- Get out of my way. Move, girl!

432
00:19:16,986 --> 00:19:19,181
- Oh, my God, Seth!
- Oh, shit!

433
00:19:19,255 --> 00:19:20,688
- Seth.
- What the fuck?

434
00:19:20,756 --> 00:19:24,089
Don't go on the grass,
not everybody on the grass!

435
00:19:34,604 --> 00:19:36,162
What the fuck?

436
00:19:36,239 --> 00:19:37,672
Oh, God!

437
00:19:37,740 --> 00:19:39,332
- What the fuck is happening?
- Paul!

438
00:19:39,408 --> 00:19:40,841
What's happening?

439
00:19:40,910 --> 00:19:43,640
All right, everybody, listen up. Listen up.

440
00:19:43,713 --> 00:19:46,375
Who took my fucking cell phone, man?

441
00:19:46,449 --> 00:19:49,043
- Martin, empty your pockets!
- What?

442
00:19:49,118 --> 00:19:51,552
I saw you in the bathroom, man!
Somebody dial my phone!

443
00:19:51,621 --> 00:19:53,486
Shut the fuck up! It's unbelievable!

444
00:19:53,556 --> 00:19:56,855
It's unacceptable after all the coke
I've wasted on you people.

445
00:19:56,926 --> 00:19:59,326
- I've thrown it away.
- I didn't take your fucking cell phone.

446
00:19:59,395 --> 00:20:02,558
- 310...
- Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike...

447
00:20:04,267 --> 00:20:05,564
My face!

448
00:20:05,635 --> 00:20:07,865
What's happening to me? What's happening?

449
00:20:07,937 --> 00:20:09,336
Oh, my God!

450
00:20:22,218 --> 00:20:24,015
Shit, that's embarrassing.

451
00:20:42,405 --> 00:20:43,394
Rihanna!

452
00:20:51,180 --> 00:20:52,238
Please give me your foot!

453
00:20:52,315 --> 00:20:53,680
Oh, my God!

454
00:20:56,585 --> 00:20:58,314
Craig, Craig, help me. I'm losing my grip!

455
00:20:58,387 --> 00:20:59,752
It's too late for you!
You're already in the hole!

456
00:20:59,822 --> 00:21:01,983
- What the fuck are you talking about?
- Get the fuck out of my way!

457
00:21:06,028 --> 00:21:07,017
Sorry.

458
00:21:08,364 --> 00:21:09,695
Karen!

459
00:21:09,765 --> 00:21:12,461
Seth, come on! Get in the house!
Come on, Seth!

460
00:21:16,706 --> 00:21:18,799
Oh, my God, I'm gonna die!

461
00:21:20,876 --> 00:21:22,275
Martin!

462
00:21:22,345 --> 00:21:24,575
- Shit!
- Kevin! Kevin!

463
00:21:24,647 --> 00:21:25,671
What the fuck?

464
00:21:25,748 --> 00:21:27,409
Geez, get the fuck off me, Aziz!

465
00:21:31,487 --> 00:21:33,182
Fuck you, Kevin!

466
00:21:34,190 --> 00:21:36,420
Oh, God, no, get your fucking hands off me!

467
00:21:36,492 --> 00:21:37,720
Get your fucking...

468
00:21:49,405 --> 00:21:50,565
No!

469
00:21:51,507 --> 00:21:53,600
Jay, I can't hold on much longer.

470
00:21:53,676 --> 00:21:56,577
You have to reach out and grab me.
You hear?

471
00:21:56,645 --> 00:22:00,376
Okay, you take my hand,
and I will swing you up.

472
00:22:00,449 --> 00:22:02,144
Are you sure?
I'm gonna give you my whole weight.

473
00:22:02,218 --> 00:22:03,617
- I'm gonna reach for you, all right?
- Yeah, yeah.

474
00:22:03,686 --> 00:22:05,449
Are you sure you can do that?

475
00:22:05,521 --> 00:22:06,783
I can grab you on three.

476
00:22:06,856 --> 00:22:08,414
One, two, three.

477
00:22:11,694 --> 00:22:12,683
All right, buddy.

478
00:22:12,762 --> 00:22:15,890
- Now I'm gonna, I'm gonna swing across.
- I got you, buddy.

479
00:22:15,965 --> 00:22:18,525
- You're gonna hold my weight, all of it.
- Okay, come on.

480
00:22:18,601 --> 00:22:20,592
- You can hold on to my full weight?
- I can do it.

481
00:22:20,669 --> 00:22:21,658
- I don't want to die.
- Okay.

482
00:22:21,737 --> 00:22:23,398
- One, two...
- Two, three.

483
00:22:23,906 --> 00:22:25,134
No!

484
00:22:26,008 --> 00:22:29,205
No! No!

485
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:53,261
Oh, man.

486
00:22:55,004 --> 00:22:56,232
Fuck.

487
00:23:06,415 --> 00:23:07,712
- Holy shit!
- What happened?

488
00:23:07,783 --> 00:23:09,307
- Jay, you're alive.
- Jay.

489
00:23:09,385 --> 00:23:10,784
- Oh, thank God, Jay.
- I'm not dead yet.

490
00:23:10,853 --> 00:23:12,377
I told you guys not to go outside.

491
00:23:12,455 --> 00:23:14,946
- What just happened?
- Jesus Christ, they are all fucking dead.

492
00:23:15,024 --> 00:23:17,686
- I told you guys not to run outside.
- You all right?

493
00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:21,560
- I tried to save Aziz. I tried.
- You did your best, man. I love you.

494
00:23:21,630 --> 00:23:23,928
Why the fuck did you guys run out there?

495
00:23:23,999 --> 00:23:25,557
You know what, James,
can you lower your voice?

496
00:23:25,634 --> 00:23:26,828
You're freaking out Jay!

497
00:23:26,902 --> 00:23:28,767
Maybe I'm a little freaked out, too!

498
00:23:28,838 --> 00:23:30,499
- He's not as strong as you.
- They all fell in.

499
00:23:30,573 --> 00:23:32,541
- Look at my house!
- I tried to save them. They all fell in.

500
00:23:33,476 --> 00:23:35,376
Get your fucking hands off me.
Jonah, stop touching me.

501
00:23:35,444 --> 00:23:38,242
Can we get Jay some water, please?
Can we get him some hydration?

502
00:23:38,314 --> 00:23:39,781
- He needs to be hydrated.
- The water's not working!

503
00:23:39,849 --> 00:23:41,339
Everyone just runs out the door!

504
00:23:41,417 --> 00:23:42,714
My phone is dead.

505
00:23:42,785 --> 00:23:44,446
Guys, the fucking Internet's not working!

506
00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:46,420
Let's watch the TV. Let's check the news.

507
00:23:46,489 --> 00:23:48,286
Where is the TV?

508
00:23:48,357 --> 00:23:49,124
- It's in the floor.
- In the floor?

509
00:23:49,124 --> 00:23:50,352
- It's in the floor.
- In the floor?

510
00:23:50,426 --> 00:23:52,223
- That's dope.
- Yeah, cool, huh?

511
00:23:52,294 --> 00:23:53,283
That's really neat.

512
00:23:53,362 --> 00:23:54,761
That is impressive, James.

513
00:23:54,830 --> 00:23:56,991
<i>The biggest earthquake to ever hit Los...</i>

514
00:23:57,066 --> 00:23:59,899
<i>Officers urging people to stay</i>
<i>in their homes right now.</i>

515
00:23:59,969 --> 00:24:03,063
<i>And also reports of looting and rioting</i>
<i>are spreading across the city.</i>

516
00:24:03,138 --> 00:24:04,298
Riots.

517
00:24:04,373 --> 00:24:07,900
<i>Police are pretty much outnumbered</i>
<i>as people are turning to one another.</i>

518
00:24:07,977 --> 00:24:09,740
<i>Martial law has now been declared.</i>

519
00:24:09,812 --> 00:24:11,245
<i>Air Force One has gone down...</i>

520
00:24:12,414 --> 00:24:15,315
Shit. It's gone, guys.

521
00:24:16,218 --> 00:24:19,551
So I think we should...

522
00:24:19,622 --> 00:24:22,716
I think we should probably
go back to your place, eh?

523
00:24:22,791 --> 00:24:24,224
What are you talking about, man?

524
00:24:24,293 --> 00:24:27,490
No, no way. I'm not leaving here.

525
00:24:27,563 --> 00:24:30,930
I don't want to die at James Franco's house.

526
00:24:31,433 --> 00:24:32,923
You heard the TV.

527
00:24:33,002 --> 00:24:36,665
The TV said stay here.
It said stay in your homes.

528
00:24:36,739 --> 00:24:39,833
We need to stay here
until they start rescuing people, okay?

529
00:24:39,909 --> 00:24:42,400
A huge earthquake happens.
Who do they rescue first?

530
00:24:42,478 --> 00:24:43,911
- Actors.
- Famous people.

531
00:24:43,979 --> 00:24:46,470
They'll get Clooney, Sandra Bullock, me.

532
00:24:46,549 --> 00:24:48,312
If there's room, you guys'll come.

533
00:24:48,384 --> 00:24:50,511
The point is, is that
we're all gonna get out of this first.

534
00:24:51,687 --> 00:24:54,087
- What the hell was that?
- It's already going crazy out there, guys.

535
00:24:54,156 --> 00:24:57,421
We can't leave. I'm not leaving, okay?
I'm a victim.

536
00:24:57,493 --> 00:25:00,360
I've had a victim's mentality my whole life.
People can smell it on me.

537
00:25:00,429 --> 00:25:02,260
When I was a kid, I had man-titties.

538
00:25:02,331 --> 00:25:04,026
The bullies held me down,
they tittie-fucked me.

539
00:25:04,099 --> 00:25:05,430
That's what's happening out there right now.

540
00:25:05,501 --> 00:25:06,798
That's right, we are all soft.

541
00:25:06,869 --> 00:25:07,995
- Yeah.
- We are all soft!

542
00:25:08,070 --> 00:25:10,038
We are actors! We pretend to be hard, man.

543
00:25:10,105 --> 00:25:11,936
- Yeah.
- We soft as baby shit.

544
00:25:12,007 --> 00:25:14,635
As baby shit, soft as...
Wait, Craig, what are you doing, man?

545
00:25:14,710 --> 00:25:17,201
Hey, hey, what are you doing?
What are you doing to the painting, man?

546
00:25:17,279 --> 00:25:18,906
- We got to board this shit up, man.
- Board it up?

547
00:25:18,981 --> 00:25:20,448
We got to protect ourselves. We don't know

548
00:25:20,516 --> 00:25:22,211
- how long we gonna be in here.
- Okay, chill.

549
00:25:22,284 --> 00:25:23,512
There's raccoons, and bandits,
and shit out there.

550
00:25:23,586 --> 00:25:25,053
- This is <i>Obey,</i> man!
- If you get out the way!

551
00:25:25,120 --> 00:25:27,452
This is my favorite fucking painting!
What are you doing, Craig?

552
00:25:27,523 --> 00:25:28,547
Guys, help.

553
00:25:28,624 --> 00:25:30,455
Help. Help. Get off.

554
00:25:31,927 --> 00:25:33,155
Chill. Look.

555
00:25:33,228 --> 00:25:34,991
Helicopter! Helicopter!

556
00:25:36,365 --> 00:25:40,131
The good guys are here.
We're fine! It's gonna be fine.

557
00:25:44,807 --> 00:25:45,865
God damn!

558
00:25:46,442 --> 00:25:47,841
God damn!

559
00:25:48,277 --> 00:25:49,710
Shit!

560
00:25:49,778 --> 00:25:52,212
- You okay?
- No, I'm not okay!

561
00:25:52,281 --> 00:25:54,408
Fuck your house, Franco!

562
00:25:54,483 --> 00:25:56,713
My house didn't do that!

563
00:26:02,257 --> 00:26:05,226
You don't got a tool kit or nothing?
Just a toolbox?

564
00:26:05,294 --> 00:26:06,659
I don't know. Look in there.

565
00:26:10,332 --> 00:26:12,232
Where's the edge of this shit?

566
00:26:12,301 --> 00:26:14,428
Your thumb's in my butthole, man.

567
00:26:16,005 --> 00:26:17,666
Y'all need this dick?

568
00:26:17,740 --> 00:26:18,764
No, we're not using it.

569
00:26:18,841 --> 00:26:20,331
All right, I'm gonna take it over here.

570
00:26:20,409 --> 00:26:22,775
- Careful with that dick.
- Damn.

571
00:26:26,081 --> 00:26:27,480
It's heavy.

572
00:26:28,083 --> 00:26:31,280
There it is, got that dick now.

573
00:26:31,353 --> 00:26:33,753
That dick is coming now.

574
00:26:34,323 --> 00:26:36,621
Yeah, got this big dick.

575
00:26:40,829 --> 00:26:42,262
Hey, hey.

576
00:26:42,331 --> 00:26:43,923
- What now?
- Listen.

577
00:26:43,999 --> 00:26:47,059
Not the Rogen, all right? Don't take him.

578
00:26:47,136 --> 00:26:48,160
Take me.

579
00:26:48,237 --> 00:26:51,695
We got 12 bottles of water,
56 beers, two vodkas,

580
00:26:51,774 --> 00:26:54,868
four whiskeys, six bottles of wine,
tequila, Nutella,

581
00:26:54,943 --> 00:26:58,674
cheese, pizza, eggs, bananas,
apples, bacon, steaks,

582
00:26:58,747 --> 00:27:02,683
pancake mix, CT Crunch, milk,
ketchup, a Milky Way,

583
00:27:02,751 --> 00:27:05,811
half ounce Sour Diesel,
three and a half grams Grand Master Kush,

584
00:27:05,888 --> 00:27:08,049
one ounce of 'shrooms, 15 pills of ecstasy,

585
00:27:08,123 --> 00:27:10,148
a porno mag, a baseball bat,

586
00:27:10,225 --> 00:27:12,557
and the video camera
from the movie <i>27 Hours.</i>

587
00:27:12,628 --> 00:27:14,152
<i>127 Hours.</i>

588
00:27:15,964 --> 00:27:17,795
<i>127 Hours.</i>

589
00:27:17,866 --> 00:27:21,097
And a functioning revolver
from the movie <i>Flyboys.</i>

590
00:27:21,170 --> 00:27:22,535
Old Faithful.

591
00:27:22,604 --> 00:27:23,969
- Jesus.
- Thing's real.

592
00:27:24,039 --> 00:27:25,836
- No, I kept this from the movie.
- Yeah.

593
00:27:25,908 --> 00:27:27,466
- This is an actual revolver.
- I see.

594
00:27:27,543 --> 00:27:29,704
Franco, that's very uncomfortable.
Could you put that down, please?

595
00:27:29,778 --> 00:27:30,767
Loaded.

596
00:27:30,846 --> 00:27:32,245
- Love it.
- Awesome.

597
00:27:32,314 --> 00:27:34,009
- Can you just put the gun away?
- I always keep my props.

598
00:27:34,083 --> 00:27:36,142
- That's really cool.
- Always keep my props.

599
00:27:36,218 --> 00:27:37,310
I know how to handle it.

600
00:27:37,386 --> 00:27:40,378
He knows what he's doing. I like this bit.
I like it. I get it. Let me see.

601
00:27:40,456 --> 00:27:42,424
- It's real. It's heavy.
- Let me see it like that.

602
00:27:42,491 --> 00:27:44,118
- God damn!
- Come on, guys!

603
00:27:44,193 --> 00:27:45,285
- You could kill...
- Careful.

604
00:27:45,360 --> 00:27:46,452
- Bang, bang!
- Jesus!

605
00:27:46,528 --> 00:27:47,825
- Please, put it down!
- Fuck!

606
00:27:47,896 --> 00:27:49,989
Bang, bang, bang. You're dead.

607
00:27:50,065 --> 00:27:52,090
- I hope you're fucking happy.
- Pow, pow, pow.

608
00:27:52,167 --> 00:27:53,862
Stop... Guys, stop fucking with the gun.

609
00:27:53,936 --> 00:27:55,426
- Jesus! Jesus!
- Pow, pow.

610
00:27:55,504 --> 00:27:56,528
- It's a real gun!
- Bang.

611
00:27:56,605 --> 00:27:57,629
It's so funny. It's so funny.

612
00:27:57,706 --> 00:27:59,173
- Guys, it's funny.
- It's not funny!

613
00:27:59,241 --> 00:28:00,640
We're getting sidetracked.

614
00:28:00,709 --> 00:28:02,006
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

615
00:28:02,077 --> 00:28:03,442
- I'll just kill myself.
- No!

616
00:28:03,512 --> 00:28:04,706
- Don't do that, Jonah!
- Jesus.

617
00:28:04,780 --> 00:28:05,804
- Oh, no.
- Jonah, give it back.

618
00:28:05,881 --> 00:28:07,473
- I don't know! I don't know.
- Don't do that.

619
00:28:07,549 --> 00:28:09,278
- Jonah.
- I'm so...

620
00:28:09,351 --> 00:28:11,148
- Oh, my God. Hey.
- Oh, dude.

621
00:28:11,220 --> 00:28:13,154
- Come on, no, no. Don't. Jesus!
- Would you put the thing down?

622
00:28:13,222 --> 00:28:14,280
The whole...

623
00:28:14,356 --> 00:28:15,687
I'm trying to have some fun, man.

624
00:28:15,758 --> 00:28:17,419
Okay, okay, Jesus.

625
00:28:17,493 --> 00:28:19,586
Look, just because a bunch
of people fell into a hole outside

626
00:28:19,661 --> 00:28:21,094
doesn't mean we can't have some fun.

627
00:28:21,163 --> 00:28:23,825
We're a bunch of best friends hanging out.
It's like a sleepover.

628
00:28:23,899 --> 00:28:26,265
Okay, food.
How are we gonna deal with this?

629
00:28:28,203 --> 00:28:29,431
Can I have that Milky Way?

630
00:28:29,505 --> 00:28:30,972
No, you can't have the Milky Way.

631
00:28:31,039 --> 00:28:32,199
- That's my Milky Way.
- There's a bunch... What?

632
00:28:32,274 --> 00:28:33,639
I went out this morning,

633
00:28:33,709 --> 00:28:36,837
specifically bought this Milky Way
to eat after my party.

634
00:28:36,912 --> 00:28:39,403
- That's weird.
- It's not weird. It's my special food.

635
00:28:39,481 --> 00:28:41,142
I like it. Back me up on that, Seth.

636
00:28:41,216 --> 00:28:42,513
I don't think you should get
the whole Milky Way.

637
00:28:42,584 --> 00:28:43,608
I want some of the Milky Way.

638
00:28:43,685 --> 00:28:46,415
I'd be pretty bummed if I don't
at least get a bite of the Milky Way.

639
00:28:46,488 --> 00:28:47,546
Now Craig wants a bite of the Milky Way.

640
00:28:47,623 --> 00:28:50,057
Yeah, I want a bite of the Milky Way.
It's a fucking Milky Way.

641
00:28:50,125 --> 00:28:52,855
A fifth of everything
is what's fair and reasonable.

642
00:28:52,928 --> 00:28:54,725
Everyone gets a fifth of everything.

643
00:28:54,797 --> 00:28:56,355
I want one-fifth of your T-shirt!

644
00:28:56,431 --> 00:28:58,160
I want the bottom part, the belly.

645
00:28:58,233 --> 00:28:59,723
I'm not sporting a crop top in your house.

646
00:28:59,802 --> 00:29:01,326
I'll cut that shit off and make a headband.

647
00:29:01,403 --> 00:29:03,132
You couldn't handle my midriff.

648
00:29:03,205 --> 00:29:06,072
Guys, the only issue is,
I kind of need the Milky Way.

649
00:29:06,141 --> 00:29:07,301
For fuck's sake.

650
00:29:07,376 --> 00:29:08,707
No, for real, I have low blood sugar,

651
00:29:08,777 --> 00:29:09,766
and if my endorphins drop too low,

652
00:29:09,845 --> 00:29:10,869
I'm gonna be a nightmare to be around.

653
00:29:10,946 --> 00:29:12,880
- What?
- Your LBS starts acting up,

654
00:29:12,948 --> 00:29:14,916
you can have a finger scoop of Nutella,
okay?

655
00:29:14,983 --> 00:29:17,417
- One finger scoop of Nutella.
- Fair.

656
00:29:17,486 --> 00:29:19,113
I'm going to bed.

657
00:29:19,188 --> 00:29:20,621
Jesus fucking...

658
00:29:20,689 --> 00:29:22,281
Don't touch that Milky Way, Jonah.

659
00:29:22,357 --> 00:29:23,659
Night, James.

660
00:29:28,463 --> 00:29:31,023
Oh, God, no!

661
00:29:31,867 --> 00:29:33,164
Fuck.

662
00:30:01,997 --> 00:30:04,397
- Hey.
- Hey.

663
00:30:04,900 --> 00:30:06,299
I'm gonna sleep with you.

664
00:30:06,368 --> 00:30:07,733
- What?
- I'm gonna sleep with you.

665
00:30:07,803 --> 00:30:09,964
- It's too scary to sleep alone.
- But this is my little area.

666
00:30:10,038 --> 00:30:11,665
Well, I'm invading your little area.

667
00:30:11,740 --> 00:30:14,675
I'm sorry, but I'm too scared, okay?

668
00:30:14,743 --> 00:30:15,767
Are you mad at me, man?

669
00:30:15,844 --> 00:30:17,607
If I was pissed at you,

670
00:30:17,679 --> 00:30:19,909
I'm sure it would have something to do

671
00:30:19,982 --> 00:30:24,681
with the fact that I had no interest
in coming to this house socially,

672
00:30:24,753 --> 00:30:27,586
and now, I am barricaded in here

673
00:30:27,656 --> 00:30:30,625
with a bunch of people that I really hate.

674
00:30:31,026 --> 00:30:32,755
Maybe this was meant to be.

675
00:30:32,828 --> 00:30:36,127
Maybe this horrible, horrible,
deadly earthquake happened

676
00:30:36,198 --> 00:30:38,496
so we could become closer
as a group of friends.

677
00:30:38,567 --> 00:30:42,162
I don't need a group. I'm like DMX, man.
I'm a lone wolf.

678
00:30:42,237 --> 00:30:45,866
DMX isn't a lone wolf.
DMX has the Ruff Ryder crew.

679
00:30:45,941 --> 00:30:48,239
You can't stop, drop,
and open up shop alone.

680
00:30:48,310 --> 00:30:52,440
You need people to help you
in an earthquake disastery situation.

681
00:30:52,514 --> 00:30:56,473
It was something else. It was Judgment Day.

682
00:30:56,551 --> 00:30:57,916
Like <i>Terminator 2?</i>

683
00:30:57,986 --> 00:31:00,250
No, not like <i>Terminator 2.</i> For God's sakes.

684
00:31:00,322 --> 00:31:02,153
Like Skynet? You think this is Skynet?

685
00:31:02,224 --> 00:31:03,452
- Like, Skynet went live?
- No.

686
00:31:03,525 --> 00:31:05,288
Will you please stop saying "Skynet"?

687
00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:07,521
Well, you're the one that said Judgment Day.

688
00:31:07,596 --> 00:31:09,154
The biblical Judgment Day.

689
00:31:10,499 --> 00:31:12,330
- What?
- That's crazy. It's just...

690
00:31:12,401 --> 00:31:14,699
- You fucking heathen.
- Okay, here's the thing.

691
00:31:14,770 --> 00:31:18,638
Let's say for a second there was blue light
sucking people up into the sky.

692
00:31:18,707 --> 00:31:22,199
That means that we were not
awesome enough to go to heaven.

693
00:31:22,577 --> 00:31:24,636
Shit! Shit.

694
00:31:29,384 --> 00:31:31,181
What y'all doing?

695
00:31:31,887 --> 00:31:33,047
Fuck you, Craig.

696
00:31:33,121 --> 00:31:34,952
I'm scared. It's scary by myself.

697
00:31:35,023 --> 00:31:36,650
It's way better with more people.

698
00:31:37,059 --> 00:31:40,620
- I'm gonna come down here.
- Yeah, good, yeah. Get in here, man.

699
00:31:40,696 --> 00:31:41,685
Get right in there.

700
00:31:41,763 --> 00:31:43,321
So, you're gonna...

701
00:31:43,398 --> 00:31:44,865
- Right here.
- Right here.

702
00:31:44,933 --> 00:31:47,527
I feel better, actually. I like that.

703
00:31:49,171 --> 00:31:50,934
It's better with more people.

704
00:31:51,006 --> 00:31:51,995
Hey, guys...

705
00:31:52,074 --> 00:31:54,167
- Jesus Christ.
- Jesus!

706
00:31:54,242 --> 00:31:58,736
Sorry. Franco has this crazy open floor plan.
I can hear every word you guys are saying.

707
00:31:58,814 --> 00:32:01,146
I might as well hang with you guys
if that's cool.

708
00:32:01,216 --> 00:32:02,843
- Nice.
- Coming in hot.

709
00:32:02,918 --> 00:32:04,545
I gonna grab a blanket from you.

710
00:32:04,619 --> 00:32:05,950
Give me that blanket.

711
00:32:06,021 --> 00:32:07,784
- Get in the middle of it.
- That's good.

712
00:32:07,856 --> 00:32:10,120
- That's it.
- It feels so much more safe now, guys.

713
00:32:10,192 --> 00:32:11,318
It's nice here.

714
00:32:11,393 --> 00:32:12,792
- Should we spoon it?
- Yeah, you want to?

715
00:32:12,861 --> 00:32:13,987
- No!
- Want to go...

716
00:32:14,062 --> 00:32:15,086
- Dick to butt?
- No.

717
00:32:15,163 --> 00:32:18,132
- My butt to you and then Jay.
- I don't want to butt to dick to anything.

718
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:19,462
Are you docking into me?
You're doing tip to me?

719
00:32:19,534 --> 00:32:21,695
- Or what are you doing?
- Should we go butt to butt or dick to...

720
00:32:21,770 --> 00:32:24,068
Seth and I are gonna go ass to ass.
Do you want to go front to front?

721
00:32:24,139 --> 00:32:27,370
- No, I'm fine just going dicks up.
- Dicks up?

722
00:32:27,442 --> 00:32:28,932
- I think I'm going dick to ass.
- You know what?

723
00:32:29,011 --> 00:32:31,036
I'm going <i>Scarface-style.</i>

724
00:32:31,113 --> 00:32:32,410
- Both of you guys.
- Wait, yeah.

725
00:32:32,481 --> 00:32:33,641
- There we go.
- Yeah.

726
00:32:33,715 --> 00:32:34,739
This is the best way.

727
00:32:34,816 --> 00:32:35,908
Good night, boys.

728
00:32:35,984 --> 00:32:38,350
- Good night.
- Good night.

729
00:32:38,420 --> 00:32:39,648
Good night, guys.

730
00:32:39,721 --> 00:32:41,484
- Night, my sweet guys.
- Good night.

731
00:32:41,556 --> 00:32:42,614
Sweet dreams, fellas.

824
00:33:08,839 --> 00:33:11,229
♫ Livin' on fat pockets
on flat wit tha gat

825
00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:13,754
♫ Rollin' around a
nine deuce Cadillac

826
00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:16,155
♫ Still got my homies
to watch my back

827
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:18,595
♫ And they'll smoke ya ass
if you wanna come and chat

828
00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:21,518
♫ Why wallow when you come to roll on?
I put the clip

829
00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:23,677
♫ And before I bring ya ass on

830
00:33:23,761 --> 00:33:25,911
♫ Kickin ' dust on
your head like I bust

831
00:33:26,001 --> 00:33:27,912
♫ My grip surrounded,
I'm about...

732
00:33:27,969 --> 00:33:29,334
Fuck, yeah.

833
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:32,198
♫ When tha shit goes
down ya better be ready

834
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:33,599
♫ When tha shit goes down

835
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:37,196
♫ When tha shit goes
down ya better be ready

836
00:33:37,321 --> 00:33:38,356
♫ When tha shit goes down

837
00:33:38,441 --> 00:33:41,717
♫ When tha shit goes
down ya better be ready

838
00:33:41,801 --> 00:33:43,598
♫ Ya better be ready ♫

733
00:34:02,337 --> 00:34:04,737
Franco! Good morning, sunshine.

734
00:34:04,806 --> 00:34:06,068
Guys! Guys! Wake up!

735
00:34:06,141 --> 00:34:08,939
Danny's alive!
He's eating all the fucking food!

736
00:34:09,010 --> 00:34:10,978
- No!
- Danny, man, don't.

737
00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:12,874
Danny!

738
00:34:13,715 --> 00:34:16,047
No, it's cool, man.
I fucking made this for you guys.

739
00:34:16,118 --> 00:34:18,279
- Stop eating!
- Don't eat another piece of bacon.

740
00:34:18,353 --> 00:34:19,479
Guys, just chill the fuck out, okay?

741
00:34:19,554 --> 00:34:22,546
I'm sure the Green Goblin
can fucking afford some more bacon.

742
00:34:22,624 --> 00:34:24,922
Dude, that shit's supposed to last us
till we get rescued!

743
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:28,420
Wait a second. I know what happened.

744
00:34:28,497 --> 00:34:31,057
You guys dropped acid, didn't you?

745
00:34:31,333 --> 00:34:33,392
Craig doesn't have any pants on.
He got fucking wild.

746
00:34:33,468 --> 00:34:35,902
Probably danced, sweated all over the place.

747
00:34:35,971 --> 00:34:37,268
You got white shit
all over your mouth, Franco.

748
00:34:37,339 --> 00:34:38,636
You probably sucked somebody's dick.

749
00:34:38,707 --> 00:34:41,505
Jonah over here probably watched
and jerked off.

750
00:34:41,576 --> 00:34:43,737
Jay, I didn't even know you were in town.
Good to see you.

751
00:34:43,812 --> 00:34:46,212
Danny, we're not on acid.
We didn't suck each other's dicks!

752
00:34:46,281 --> 00:34:48,977
James Franco didn't suck
any dick last night?

753
00:34:49,050 --> 00:34:50,608
Now I know y'all are tripping.

754
00:34:50,685 --> 00:34:52,550
You actually not know
what happened last night?

755
00:34:52,621 --> 00:34:55,181
Daniel, you may want
to stay seated for a second.

756
00:34:55,257 --> 00:34:59,455
Some really messed-up stuff happened,
and there were a lot of fatalities.

757
00:34:59,528 --> 00:35:02,224
Really? You're putting your serious voice on,
Jonah?

758
00:35:02,297 --> 00:35:04,697
Okay, tell me about these "fatalities."

759
00:35:04,766 --> 00:35:07,860
Dude, Segel's dead, Krumholtz
is dead, Michael Cera's dead.

760
00:35:07,936 --> 00:35:11,633
Guess if Michael Cera's gone,
it's not a total loss, huh?

761
00:35:11,706 --> 00:35:13,196
- Jesus, Danny.
- Michael Cera's dead.

762
00:35:13,275 --> 00:35:15,004
- What?
- It's not like that.

763
00:35:15,076 --> 00:35:16,805
- It's not funny, man.
- It's really not funny.

764
00:35:16,878 --> 00:35:19,574
Seth, that's a better performance
than you've given in your last six movies.

765
00:35:19,648 --> 00:35:21,343
Where the fuck was that
in <i>Green Hornet,</i> huh?

766
00:35:21,416 --> 00:35:23,281
Jonah, you're fucking sucking balls.

767
00:35:23,351 --> 00:35:24,943
You're an Academy Award nominated person.

768
00:35:25,020 --> 00:35:27,420
You need to be fucking
selling that shit, dude.

769
00:35:27,489 --> 00:35:29,514
"Fatalities. There were some fatalities."

770
00:35:30,225 --> 00:35:31,249
Fatalities.

771
00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:33,821
Okay, now that was good. That was good.

772
00:35:33,895 --> 00:35:35,920
Does it seem like we're fucking joking?

773
00:35:35,997 --> 00:35:38,557
Hey, hey, hey!
What the fuck you eating, man?

774
00:35:38,633 --> 00:35:41,431
Spit it out your mouth. Give me the bacon!

775
00:35:47,909 --> 00:35:49,103
Shit.

776
00:35:50,011 --> 00:35:51,308
Shit, what do we do?

777
00:35:51,379 --> 00:35:53,210
Shoot 'em! Shoot 'em! Shoot 'em!

778
00:35:58,186 --> 00:35:59,244
Should I shoot?

779
00:35:59,321 --> 00:36:01,380
- Shut up, Franco!
- Shoot the door, Franco!

780
00:36:02,057 --> 00:36:03,081
Oh, God!

781
00:36:03,158 --> 00:36:05,786
Did you not hear me knocking out here?
I've been knocking forever.

782
00:36:05,860 --> 00:36:07,725
Please! Please! You've got to let me in!

783
00:36:08,763 --> 00:36:10,958
- Hang on a second.
- What?

784
00:36:11,032 --> 00:36:15,992
Guys, I know it sounds really weird,
but I don't think we should let him in.

785
00:36:16,304 --> 00:36:17,293
Why not?

786
00:36:17,372 --> 00:36:19,067
Yeah, why not? I can hear you, by the way.

787
00:36:19,140 --> 00:36:20,767
I'm sorry. We just don't know you, man.

788
00:36:20,842 --> 00:36:24,278
You could be like, a looter,
or a rapist, or a tittie-fucker.

789
00:36:24,346 --> 00:36:25,711
Like, I'm sorry.

790
00:36:25,780 --> 00:36:28,647
Look, guys, we just boarded up
this whole house to keep everyone out,

791
00:36:28,717 --> 00:36:31,242
and the first guy comes to the door,
we're gonna let him in?

792
00:36:31,319 --> 00:36:32,877
I mean, how do we know
we can trust this guy?

793
00:36:32,954 --> 00:36:35,684
I want to live!
Things have gone crazy out here!

794
00:36:36,491 --> 00:36:39,016
"Fucking crazy out here!"
This guy fucking sucks.

795
00:36:39,094 --> 00:36:41,358
- What if he's the rapist?
- Man, even if he is a rapist,

796
00:36:41,429 --> 00:36:43,226
- he can't rape all of us.
- Yeah! No! So I'm not...

797
00:36:43,298 --> 00:36:44,890
- I'm not a rapist!
- You want to tittie-fuck us?

798
00:36:44,966 --> 00:36:47,730
If you want me to tittie-fuck you, I will!
So good! You'll love it.

799
00:36:47,802 --> 00:36:49,099
Seth, back me up, please.

800
00:36:49,170 --> 00:36:51,536
We can't just leave him out there to die.
Are you crazy?

801
00:36:51,606 --> 00:36:53,574
What do you want to do?
I'll do whatever you want to do.

802
00:36:53,642 --> 00:36:54,734
Let's vote on it.

803
00:36:54,809 --> 00:36:56,606
Yeah, I fucking vote you let me in.

804
00:36:56,678 --> 00:36:59,670
Here's my vote. Fuck all of you.
I'm letting him in. This is boring.

805
00:37:00,548 --> 00:37:01,572
There's something out here!

806
00:37:07,722 --> 00:37:09,815
This is real! This is fucking real!

807
00:37:10,492 --> 00:37:11,652
God damn it!

808
00:37:25,507 --> 00:37:26,940
You guys!

809
00:37:27,008 --> 00:37:30,000
This man was alive a few seconds ago.
We can't play soccer with his head!

810
00:37:30,078 --> 00:37:31,477
Pick it up, Jonah!

811
00:37:33,114 --> 00:37:34,547
What the fuck is going on?

812
00:37:34,616 --> 00:37:36,208
He blinked at me.

813
00:37:36,284 --> 00:37:38,411
- He blinked at my face.
- Seth, put it over there.

814
00:37:39,754 --> 00:37:40,982
Oh, my God!

815
00:37:41,056 --> 00:37:42,318
I got it. I got it, guys.

816
00:37:42,390 --> 00:37:44,790
There's blood all over my floor!

817
00:37:44,859 --> 00:37:46,224
Time to relax for a second.

818
00:37:46,294 --> 00:37:49,092
Okay, someone should look out the hole.

819
00:37:49,164 --> 00:37:50,188
I ain't looking out that hole!

820
00:37:50,265 --> 00:37:52,324
Last person looked through that hole
got his head chopped off!

821
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:56,632
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Whatever is out there might still be out there.

822
00:37:58,606 --> 00:38:00,836
Okay, I know, I know.
Come on. Come on. Come on.

823
00:38:01,910 --> 00:38:05,107
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

824
00:38:06,748 --> 00:38:08,477
There's a lookout!

825
00:38:14,322 --> 00:38:16,449
Jesus Christ! Look, there's
a huge fucking hole down there!

826
00:38:16,524 --> 00:38:18,287
What the fuck is this?

827
00:38:18,993 --> 00:38:21,553
- Where's the thing that killed the guy?
- I don't know.

828
00:38:21,629 --> 00:38:24,120
- How'd his head fall off?
- And where's the rest of him?

829
00:38:30,705 --> 00:38:32,002
<i>Hi.</i>

830
00:38:32,073 --> 00:38:33,734
<i>This is James Franco,</i>

831
00:38:35,443 --> 00:38:37,968
<i>in my house, in my library.</i>

832
00:38:38,046 --> 00:38:41,482
<i>We've been stuck here for about 24 hours.</i>

833
00:38:41,549 --> 00:38:43,949
<i>Danny McBride is here.</i>

834
00:38:44,018 --> 00:38:45,451
<i>I didn't even invite him to my party,</i>

835
00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:48,080
<i>but he came and passed out in the bathtub,</i>

836
00:38:48,156 --> 00:38:51,284
<i>and I got to say</i>
<i>it's, like, typical fucking McBride.</i>

837
00:38:51,359 --> 00:38:55,489
<i>Like, I've been feeling really weird</i>
<i>about him lately.</i>

838
00:38:55,563 --> 00:38:58,532
<i>Like, I don't really know</i>
<i>if I want to be friends with him,</i>

839
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:02,434
<i>and then he fucking showed up at my party,</i>

840
00:39:02,504 --> 00:39:07,134
<i>and now, we're stuck here with him</i>
<i>in disaster lockdown, so...</i>

841
00:39:10,378 --> 00:39:13,176
<i>- What up? What's going on?</i>
<i>- Hey, Danny. What's up, man?</i>

842
00:39:13,248 --> 00:39:15,739
<i>Not much. What are you doing? What is this?</i>

843
00:39:15,817 --> 00:39:18,285
<i>It's just a video confessional.</i>

844
00:39:24,893 --> 00:39:26,360
<i>Fuck that dude.</i>

845
00:39:27,128 --> 00:39:28,891
- Earthquakes cause tsunamis.
- Yes.

846
00:39:28,963 --> 00:39:31,397
Tsunamis cause other tsunamis, disaster.

847
00:39:31,466 --> 00:39:33,457
I mean, for all we know,
the fucking Lakers could have just won,

848
00:39:33,535 --> 00:39:34,934
and that's the reason
why all this is happening.

849
00:39:35,003 --> 00:39:36,994
Hole in Franco's front yard? Sinkhole.

850
00:39:37,071 --> 00:39:40,438
Every single time I turn on the news,
sinkhole in South America.

851
00:39:40,508 --> 00:39:42,135
Bunch of South Americans
getting sucked into the ground.

852
00:39:42,210 --> 00:39:43,677
- Sinkhole de Mayo.
- Sinkhole de Mayo.

853
00:39:43,745 --> 00:39:44,769
That's why it's named that,

854
00:39:44,846 --> 00:39:46,438
because sinkholes happen
in the summertime.

855
00:39:46,514 --> 00:39:50,541
It's not wildfires. It's not earthquakes.
It's not sinkholes.

856
00:39:50,618 --> 00:39:52,813
- I think I know what it is.
- Let's hear it.

857
00:39:53,755 --> 00:39:56,019
I think it's the Apocalypse.

858
00:39:56,324 --> 00:39:57,552
What?

859
00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:03,460
I'm serious, boys.
It's all in here, in the Book of Revelations.

860
00:40:03,531 --> 00:40:05,590
- You took my Bible?
- Well, just hear me out,

861
00:40:05,667 --> 00:40:09,763
and you tell me that what I'm describing
isn't what's going on right now.

862
00:40:10,138 --> 00:40:13,505
"And the skies shall open up,
and the light of the Lord shall shine down,

863
00:40:13,575 --> 00:40:16,373
"and those of good heart shall be brought
into my kingdom of heaven."

864
00:40:16,444 --> 00:40:20,813
That's the Rapture,
those are the gigantic beams of blue light.

865
00:40:20,882 --> 00:40:23,248
"And there will be a great
mountain burning in fire."

866
00:40:23,318 --> 00:40:26,754
I mean, the Hollywood Hills
are literally engulfed in flames

867
00:40:26,821 --> 00:40:28,254
as we sit here right now.

868
00:40:28,323 --> 00:40:30,883
The Hollywood Hills ain't no mountain.
It's a hill.

869
00:40:30,959 --> 00:40:33,393
Takes about 10 minutes to get across
that motherfucker with no traffic.

870
00:40:33,461 --> 00:40:34,655
- Coldwater.
- I take Laurel Canyon.

871
00:40:34,729 --> 00:40:35,718
- Cahuenga.
- Cahuenga.

872
00:40:35,797 --> 00:40:37,662
- I usually zip down Barham.
- Boys, can I just fucking finish?

873
00:40:37,732 --> 00:40:39,063
I love Laurel Canyon.

874
00:40:39,133 --> 00:40:42,967
"And out of the pit
rose a great red dragon having seven heads,

875
00:40:43,037 --> 00:40:45,801
"that old serpent called the devil and Satan,

876
00:40:45,874 --> 00:40:51,369
"which deceiveth the whole world,
was released onto the earth."

877
00:40:52,247 --> 00:40:54,681
I love that dude.
He's from <i>Where the Wild Things Are.</i>

878
00:40:54,749 --> 00:40:56,876
- It's a load of bullshit.
- It's not bullshit.

879
00:40:56,951 --> 00:40:58,282
Want to know something else, Jay?

880
00:40:58,353 --> 00:41:01,117
If this is the end of the world,
and all the good people died,

881
00:41:01,189 --> 00:41:05,387
what you're saying is
Seth, me, Jonah, Craig and Danny

882
00:41:05,460 --> 00:41:06,484
are a bunch of assholes.

883
00:41:06,561 --> 00:41:08,756
I'm straight-up lovable, son.

884
00:41:08,830 --> 00:41:12,596
And if this really is the Apocalypse,

885
00:41:12,667 --> 00:41:13,691
you're here too.

886
00:41:14,302 --> 00:41:17,669
So, that means you're just
as shitty as the rest of us.

887
00:41:18,540 --> 00:41:19,871
Doesn't feel too good, does it?

888
00:41:30,318 --> 00:41:32,946
Hey, guys. I'm going to sleep now.

889
00:41:33,021 --> 00:41:34,386
Nobody come in here and bother me.

890
00:41:35,023 --> 00:41:36,012
Go fish.

891
00:41:36,090 --> 00:41:37,785
Put it back inside of here.

892
00:41:37,859 --> 00:41:39,793
- Do you know what it is?
- Yeah.

893
00:41:39,861 --> 00:41:42,056
Now you ask me
for something that you need.

894
00:41:42,130 --> 00:41:43,563
First bit.

895
00:41:43,631 --> 00:41:44,928
You're not cutting it all?

896
00:41:44,999 --> 00:41:47,729
That's smart. You're divvying it up first.

897
00:41:48,002 --> 00:41:49,867
- This is like, Fruyére or some shit.
- That's me.

898
00:41:49,938 --> 00:41:50,962
Come on, Danny!

899
00:41:51,039 --> 00:41:52,370
- You licked your finger.
- Come on, man.

900
00:41:53,308 --> 00:41:54,639
If they're all equal, what does it matter?

901
00:41:54,709 --> 00:41:56,074
Keep your hands and fingers off.

902
00:41:56,144 --> 00:41:57,133
- Seth?
- Yeah.

903
00:41:57,211 --> 00:41:58,906
- Can I talk to you for a second?
- Yeah, yeah.

904
00:41:58,980 --> 00:42:00,345
Yeah, no shit.

905
00:42:03,084 --> 00:42:05,245
Here. Off the menu, my man.

906
00:42:06,554 --> 00:42:08,613
Holy shit, man. Where did you get these?

907
00:42:08,690 --> 00:42:12,217
Hey, what's cheese without a few crackers?
Know what I'm saying?

908
00:42:12,293 --> 00:42:14,158
- Hide it.
- Okay.

909
00:42:16,397 --> 00:42:18,991
- 'Cause we're a team.
- Okay.

910
00:42:19,067 --> 00:42:20,932
Freaks forever, brother.

911
00:42:22,270 --> 00:42:24,238
Let's do all the drugs.

912
00:42:24,305 --> 00:42:26,170
I don't really want to.

913
00:42:26,240 --> 00:42:29,573
Should have thought of that
before you drank a can full of ecstasy.

914
00:42:29,644 --> 00:42:30,702
What?

1039
00:42:32,952 --> 00:42:34,271
♫ Gangnam style

1040
00:42:35,752 --> 00:42:39,347
♫ Op, op, op, op,
oppan Gangnam style

1041
00:42:41,912 --> 00:42:42,867
♫ Gangnam style

1042
00:42:42,952 --> 00:42:46,581
♫ Op, op, op, op,
oppan Gangnam style

1043
00:42:46,672 --> 00:42:48,424
♫ Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

1044
00:42:48,512 --> 00:42:51,868
♫ Eh, sexy lady

1045
00:42:51,952 --> 00:42:53,783
♫ Op, op, op, op

1046
00:42:53,872 --> 00:42:56,102
♫ Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

1047
00:42:56,192 --> 00:42:57,308
♫ Oppan Gangnam style ♫

1048
00:43:05,833 --> 00:43:08,552
♫ I fly like paper,
get high like planes

1049
00:43:08,673 --> 00:43:11,108
♫ If you catch me at the
border I got visas in my name

1050
00:43:11,194 --> 00:43:14,311
♫ If you come around
here, I make 'em all day

1051
00:43:14,394 --> 00:43:16,624
♫ I get one down in a
second if you wait...

915
00:43:18,126 --> 00:43:20,356
<i>Should we call Red? Get more weed?</i>

916
00:43:20,428 --> 00:43:23,226
<i>I don't know, man. That guy's gone crazy.</i>

917
00:43:23,297 --> 00:43:27,563
<i>Good thing I have a lot</i>
<i>of fucking weed for you guys.</i>

918
00:43:27,635 --> 00:43:29,865
<i>I hooked you guys up.</i>

919
00:43:29,937 --> 00:43:33,839
<i>Now I need you guys</i>
<i>to assassinate Woody Harrelson.</i>

920
00:43:34,042 --> 00:43:36,533
<i>If pot's legalized, my business will suffer.</i>

921
00:43:36,611 --> 00:43:38,943
<i>And if my business suffers, I suffer.</i>

922
00:43:39,013 --> 00:43:40,105
<i>So much suffering.</i>

923
00:43:40,181 --> 00:43:43,014
<i>All 'cause of that inbred hemp seed,</i>
<i>Woody Harrelson.</i>

924
00:43:43,084 --> 00:43:44,949
<i>I have to do what's right.</i>

925
00:43:45,019 --> 00:43:47,487
<i>Weed is for the people.</i>
<i>It's the people's weed.</i>

926
00:43:47,889 --> 00:43:49,720
<i>- If you don't assassinate him...</i>
<i>- We already quit.</i>

927
00:43:49,791 --> 00:43:52,351
<i>...I'm gonna assassinate both of you.</i>

928
00:43:53,294 --> 00:43:54,761
<i>- Run!</i>
<i>- Go!</i>

1066
00:43:57,276 --> 00:43:58,629
♫ And take your money

1067
00:43:58,716 --> 00:44:01,072
♫ All I wanna do is... ♫

1068
00:44:01,157 --> 00:44:04,035
B.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.
forever.

1069
00:44:04,117 --> 00:44:05,391
B.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.

931
00:44:11,245 --> 00:44:12,610
<i>- Look out!</i>
<i>- Shit!</i>

932
00:44:13,581 --> 00:44:15,708
<i>You're letting them get away!</i>

933
00:44:20,521 --> 00:44:22,887
<i>I smoked weed with Steve Jobs,</i>

934
00:44:22,957 --> 00:44:25,221
<i>and that's when he came up with the iPad.</i>

935
00:44:25,793 --> 00:44:27,522
<i>It's pretty great.</i>

936
00:44:27,595 --> 00:44:29,324
We should make sequels
to more of our movies.

937
00:44:29,397 --> 00:44:30,421
Yeah!

938
00:44:30,498 --> 00:44:32,090
How 'bout we not do <i>Your Highness 2?</i>

939
00:44:32,166 --> 00:44:33,690
- Yeah.
- Do <i>128 Hours.</i>

940
00:44:33,768 --> 00:44:36,738
- The beginning of the rest of your comedies.
- Looks good.

941
00:44:39,941 --> 00:44:41,374
Oh, my God!

942
00:44:48,850 --> 00:44:50,112
- Emma!
- It's Emma.

943
00:44:50,184 --> 00:44:52,709
Oh, my God, you guys are alive.

944
00:44:52,787 --> 00:44:55,051
You're actually alive. Thank God!

945
00:44:55,123 --> 00:44:57,887
I hid in a drainpipe for days.

946
00:44:57,959 --> 00:45:00,860
Like, three or four.
I don't even know how many.

947
00:45:00,928 --> 00:45:04,193
And then I stopped hearing people,
and I started hearing growling noises.

948
00:45:04,265 --> 00:45:07,666
Out there, in your travels,

949
00:45:07,735 --> 00:45:09,032
did you see anything
that you would describe

950
00:45:09,103 --> 00:45:10,593
as Apocalyptish?

951
00:45:10,671 --> 00:45:12,468
I mean, no,

952
00:45:12,540 --> 00:45:17,341
but I would say it's completely obvious
what's going on here.

953
00:45:17,411 --> 00:45:19,971
I mean, it's a zombie invasion.

954
00:45:20,047 --> 00:45:21,708
- Fuck!
- I'm the one who said it's been zombies.

955
00:45:21,783 --> 00:45:23,546
- You said zombies?
- I said zombies the whole time.

956
00:45:23,618 --> 00:45:25,882
- You said zombies?
- I don't think... You never said zombies.

957
00:45:25,953 --> 00:45:28,012
Wait a second.
You guys haven't been proven right.

958
00:45:28,089 --> 00:45:29,317
These are still just theories.

959
00:45:29,390 --> 00:45:31,984
Honestly, I'm just so relieved
that you guys are here,

960
00:45:32,059 --> 00:45:35,051
and I'm very happy
about the idea of sleeping and just...

961
00:45:35,129 --> 00:45:36,153
- You tired?
- Yeah.

962
00:45:36,230 --> 00:45:38,960
If you want to take a little rest,

963
00:45:39,033 --> 00:45:41,058
you're welcome to do that upstairs.

964
00:45:41,135 --> 00:45:42,432
- Thank you.
- Cool.

965
00:45:42,503 --> 00:45:44,061
- I'll show you the way.
- Thank you.

966
00:45:44,138 --> 00:45:46,072
Thanks, guys.
Seriously, you're awesome, really.

967
00:45:46,140 --> 00:45:47,664
You're awesome.

968
00:45:48,342 --> 00:45:49,570
So fucking tight.

969
00:45:49,644 --> 00:45:51,874
We'll be right out here, okay?

970
00:45:53,414 --> 00:45:54,506
Fuck are you guys doing out here?

971
00:45:54,582 --> 00:45:56,777
Here's what I think we should do.
She's British, right?

972
00:45:56,851 --> 00:45:58,580
She's used to eating shitty food anyway.

973
00:45:58,653 --> 00:46:00,553
Let's just give her all the shitty food
that we don't want.

974
00:46:00,621 --> 00:46:02,179
That's fucked up. Look how tiny she is.

975
00:46:02,256 --> 00:46:04,190
She's not even a full seven.
She's, like, half a seven.

976
00:46:04,258 --> 00:46:05,486
This is a fucking cool thing, man.

977
00:46:05,560 --> 00:46:08,825
I, for one, am very excited.
I'm a massive <i>Harry Potter</i> fan.

978
00:46:08,896 --> 00:46:10,989
- What?
- Yes. I love fucking <i>Harry Potter.</i>

979
00:46:11,065 --> 00:46:14,262
I cannot wait till she wakes up and I can
ask her all these amazing questions about

980
00:46:14,335 --> 00:46:15,563
how they made those motion pictures.

981
00:46:15,636 --> 00:46:16,660
Take it easy, Dumbledore.

982
00:46:16,737 --> 00:46:21,436
Guys, listen, listen. I think we need
to address the elephant in the room.

983
00:46:21,509 --> 00:46:23,272
Whoa. Jay, don't talk about Craig like that.

984
00:46:23,344 --> 00:46:24,902
- That's fucked up. I'm right here, man.
- Yeah.

985
00:46:24,979 --> 00:46:27,106
I'm not calling Craig an elephant.

986
00:46:27,181 --> 00:46:29,172
- Wow, that's fucking weird.
- What does that even mean?

987
00:46:29,250 --> 00:46:30,512
- Yeah, no.
- That's racist.

988
00:46:30,585 --> 00:46:31,711
I wasn't referring to him.

989
00:46:31,786 --> 00:46:35,187
I was referring to the issue
that's on all of our minds.

990
00:46:35,289 --> 00:46:36,551
What?

991
00:46:36,624 --> 00:46:39,957
This is one girl in a house with six males.

992
00:46:40,027 --> 00:46:41,221
Yeah. Really safe.

993
00:46:41,295 --> 00:46:42,353
Ideal scenario.

994
00:46:42,430 --> 00:46:43,522
She's like a little sister.

995
00:46:43,598 --> 00:46:45,088
I think that she needs...

996
00:46:45,166 --> 00:46:46,895
It's important that she feels safe.

997
00:46:46,968 --> 00:46:48,435
- Yeah.
- And comfortable.

998
00:46:48,502 --> 00:46:49,901
And we should be mindful.

999
00:46:49,971 --> 00:46:51,268
Who's making her not feel safe?

1000
00:46:51,339 --> 00:46:52,806
Well, I'm just saying, we should...

1001
00:46:52,874 --> 00:46:55,240
We don't want to give off a bad vibe.

1002
00:46:55,309 --> 00:46:56,833
- Vibe?
- Vibes? I ain't giving no vibes.

1003
00:46:56,911 --> 00:46:58,572
Yeah, wait, what kind of vibes
are you talking about, man?

1004
00:46:58,646 --> 00:47:00,511
He's talking about us giving off a rapey vibe.

1005
00:47:00,581 --> 00:47:02,242
- Hey!
- What?

1006
00:47:02,316 --> 00:47:04,113
- Jesus.
- Jay, what the fuck, man?

1007
00:47:04,185 --> 00:47:05,345
Chill out, dude.

1008
00:47:05,419 --> 00:47:07,319
- Why you putting that shit in the mix?
- Yeah.

1009
00:47:07,388 --> 00:47:09,151
- He fucking said it.
- You're the one saying it.

1010
00:47:09,223 --> 00:47:10,622
No one here is thinking about raping anyone.

1011
00:47:10,691 --> 00:47:12,352
Well, you talking about vibes

1012
00:47:12,426 --> 00:47:15,293
is the only thing that's rapey
going on right now.

1013
00:47:15,363 --> 00:47:17,297
Dude, nothing was rapey till
you brought up the rapey vibes.

1014
00:47:17,365 --> 00:47:19,356
- Fucking one who smelt it dealt it, dawg.
- True that, dude.

1015
00:47:19,433 --> 00:47:20,832
One who denies it supplies it.

1016
00:47:20,902 --> 00:47:22,927
I know, it's farts, I get it.

1017
00:47:23,004 --> 00:47:24,164
Guys, guys, guys.

1018
00:47:24,238 --> 00:47:25,796
Jay's not rapey.

1019
00:47:26,274 --> 00:47:27,332
Jay couldn't rape a fly.

1020
00:47:27,408 --> 00:47:29,171
He probably could.

1021
00:47:29,243 --> 00:47:31,143
Maybe we should just stop this
entire conversation right now.

1022
00:47:31,212 --> 00:47:34,306
If anyone's gonna rape anyone here,
it's probably gonna be Danny.

1023
00:47:34,382 --> 00:47:35,815
- What the fuck, Franco?
- What?

1024
00:47:35,883 --> 00:47:37,282
Why do you think I'm gonna rape somebody?

1025
00:47:37,351 --> 00:47:39,216
I'm just trying to lay it out there.

1026
00:47:39,287 --> 00:47:40,686
I'm not gonna rape anyone, all right?

1027
00:47:40,755 --> 00:47:41,983
If anyone's gonna rape somebody, it's Jay.

1028
00:47:42,056 --> 00:47:43,683
- What?
- He came up with the rape idea.

1029
00:47:43,758 --> 00:47:44,952
And his face looks like the police sketch

1030
00:47:45,026 --> 00:47:46,152
- of a fucking rapist.
- True.

1031
00:47:46,227 --> 00:47:47,455
What the fuck does that mean?

1032
00:47:47,528 --> 00:47:50,361
If anybody's raping Emma Watson,
it's fucking Sir Rapes-a-Lot over here.

1033
00:47:50,431 --> 00:47:51,489
- Chill out.
- Hey!

1034
00:47:52,934 --> 00:47:53,958
Easy. Easy.

1035
00:47:54,035 --> 00:47:55,127
Back the fuck up!

1036
00:47:55,202 --> 00:47:56,499
- Emma.
- What's wrong?

1037
00:47:56,570 --> 00:47:57,628
- Wait, what's wrong?
- What's wrong?

1038
00:47:57,705 --> 00:48:00,401
I just heard you guys talking about
which one of you is gonna get to rape me.

1039
00:48:00,474 --> 00:48:01,873
No, no, no, no!

1040
00:48:01,943 --> 00:48:03,410
Guys, I got it. I got it.

1041
00:48:03,477 --> 00:48:05,741
No. It's funny. It's funny.

1042
00:48:05,813 --> 00:48:07,678
We were specifically talking
about not raping you.

1043
00:48:09,050 --> 00:48:10,176
- Jesus!
- Holy shit!

1044
00:48:10,251 --> 00:48:11,980
Back up!

1045
00:48:12,553 --> 00:48:14,043
It's me, Jonah!

1046
00:48:14,121 --> 00:48:15,588
It's me, Jonah Hill.

1047
00:48:15,656 --> 00:48:18,250
America's sweetheart. J-bug, J-bone.

1048
00:48:18,326 --> 00:48:19,884
- Your friend. I would never hurt you.
- Get back!

1049
00:48:21,796 --> 00:48:23,821
Give me everything you have to drink!
Put it in the bag!

1050
00:48:23,898 --> 00:48:25,695
There's six of us. You cannot rob us!

1051
00:48:25,766 --> 00:48:26,960
I'm not fucking around!

1052
00:48:28,269 --> 00:48:29,759
Give her drinks! Give her drinks!

1053
00:48:29,837 --> 00:48:31,202
Put the drinks in a bag!

1054
00:48:31,272 --> 00:48:33,365
- Oh, God.
- Get all the drinks in a bag!

1055
00:48:33,441 --> 00:48:34,738
Hurry the fuck up!

1056
00:48:34,809 --> 00:48:36,037
Okay, they're getting the drinks.

1057
00:48:36,110 --> 00:48:38,135
- Put the ax down.
- Don't give the Milky Way away.

1058
00:48:38,212 --> 00:48:40,146
All right, you can put the ax down now.

1059
00:48:40,214 --> 00:48:41,340
Now, Franco! Shoot her face!

1060
00:48:41,415 --> 00:48:42,507
Shoot her!

1061
00:48:42,583 --> 00:48:44,175
I'm not gonna shoot Emma Watson!

1062
00:48:44,251 --> 00:48:45,878
Look, Emma, just stay here with us.

1063
00:48:45,953 --> 00:48:47,545
It's a lot safer than out there.

1064
00:48:53,694 --> 00:48:56,185
<i>Hermione just stole all of our shit.</i>

1065
00:48:56,263 --> 00:48:59,960
<i>Little bitty-ass 20-year-old jacked us.</i>

1066
00:49:00,034 --> 00:49:03,367
<i>And then Jay suggested that we all rape her,</i>
<i>and now she's gone.</i>

1067
00:49:03,437 --> 00:49:05,769
<i>I didn't... I was just... I...</i>

1068
00:49:05,840 --> 00:49:08,934
<i>I think the only reason why</i>
<i>he did that is because Jay knows</i>

1069
00:49:09,010 --> 00:49:12,104
<i>he's about fucking two minutes away</i>
<i>from becoming the house bitch himself.</i>

1070
00:49:12,179 --> 00:49:16,350
<i>So now, motherfuckers is thirsty.</i>

1071
00:49:16,484 --> 00:49:18,213
All right, guys.

1072
00:49:18,285 --> 00:49:21,550
The door to the basement's out there,
around the side of the house.

1073
00:49:21,622 --> 00:49:24,921
I know for sure there's at least
two jugs of water.

1074
00:49:24,992 --> 00:49:26,459
Okay.

1075
00:49:28,396 --> 00:49:29,727
Any volunteers?

1076
00:49:29,797 --> 00:49:31,162
Does anyone want to volunteer
and go with Jay?

1077
00:49:31,665 --> 00:49:32,689
What?

1078
00:49:32,767 --> 00:49:34,735
I thought you said, " Someone volunteer
to go with me out there."

1079
00:49:34,802 --> 00:49:35,826
I must have misheard you.

1080
00:49:35,903 --> 00:49:37,837
- I'm sorry.
- You did not, you motherfucker.

1081
00:49:37,905 --> 00:49:39,304
Hey, okay, ease up.

1082
00:49:39,373 --> 00:49:41,967
Just chill out, dude. Just relax, man. God.

1083
00:49:42,043 --> 00:49:43,908
So how we gonna decide this, fellas?

1084
00:49:43,978 --> 00:49:46,344
All right, guys, it's simple.

1085
00:49:46,414 --> 00:49:49,850
Whoever pulls the burnt match
has to go get the water.

1086
00:49:58,059 --> 00:50:00,994
Who wants to go first?

1087
00:50:02,029 --> 00:50:03,291
I'll do it.

1088
00:50:03,364 --> 00:50:04,490
Craig.

1089
00:50:04,565 --> 00:50:06,157
All right.

1090
00:50:07,134 --> 00:50:08,567
Go ahead, brother.

1091
00:50:15,409 --> 00:50:16,842
No whammies, no whammies.

1092
00:50:16,911 --> 00:50:19,675
- Hey, hey.
- Yes! Yeah!

1093
00:50:19,747 --> 00:50:21,647
- Fuck, yes!
- Yes!

1094
00:50:21,715 --> 00:50:23,842
Fuck, yes. Fuck, yes.

1095
00:50:23,918 --> 00:50:25,977
- So sorry, Craig.
- A lot of guys in here

1096
00:50:26,053 --> 00:50:27,350
that I wish it was instead of you.

1097
00:50:28,789 --> 00:50:30,552
You want to go best two out of three?

1098
00:50:30,624 --> 00:50:34,151
If I tug, if I pull in any way,
or if you hear me screaming,

1099
00:50:34,228 --> 00:50:36,662
anything, you pull me right back in, all right?

1100
00:50:36,730 --> 00:50:38,561
Yeah. We'll try, man, but you're pretty heavy.

1101
00:50:39,166 --> 00:50:40,360
What?

1102
00:50:40,434 --> 00:50:43,198
No, I mean, I'm saying,
I just don't think it's smart

1103
00:50:43,270 --> 00:50:44,703
- to make any guarantees.
- Fuck, no.

1104
00:50:44,772 --> 00:50:46,501
- You promise to pull me back in.
- No, no, we're...

1105
00:50:46,574 --> 00:50:47,666
- You got me?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1106
00:50:47,741 --> 00:50:49,140
- We're gonna do our best.
- All right.

1107
00:50:49,210 --> 00:50:50,802
- You want to do a test run?
- Yeah.

1108
00:50:50,878 --> 00:50:52,311
You gotta scream. Let us hear the scream.

1109
00:50:52,646 --> 00:50:54,170
Pull.

1110
00:50:54,248 --> 00:50:55,681
Nice. Very nice.

1111
00:50:55,749 --> 00:50:56,875
Everyone thank Craig for doing this.

1112
00:50:56,951 --> 00:50:58,714
- Thanks, Craig.
- Thank you, Craig.

1113
00:50:58,786 --> 00:50:59,775
Go for it, Craig.

1114
00:50:59,854 --> 00:51:01,845
Getting smoky in here. Go, go, go, go.

1115
00:51:05,493 --> 00:51:07,188
This is fucked up.

1116
00:51:17,905 --> 00:51:19,736
Goddamn.

1117
00:51:19,807 --> 00:51:21,798
Smoky as fuck out here.

1118
00:51:40,728 --> 00:51:41,786
Rope burn!

1119
00:51:41,862 --> 00:51:43,557
Grab it, grab it, grab it!

1120
00:51:43,631 --> 00:51:44,893
Oh, no, no, no, no!

1121
00:51:44,965 --> 00:51:46,023
- Shit.
- Oh, no.

1122
00:51:46,100 --> 00:51:48,091
Shit. Shit.

1123
00:51:56,810 --> 00:51:58,038
Come on, motherfucker. Shit!

1124
00:52:01,148 --> 00:52:02,638
Fuck this shit.

1125
00:52:08,556 --> 00:52:11,423
Fellas, fellas! Pull me in! Pull the rope!

1126
00:52:11,492 --> 00:52:13,084
- Pull me in!
- We don't have the rope anymore!

1127
00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:14,457
We fucking dropped it! We're sorry!

1128
00:52:14,528 --> 00:52:15,722
You've got the rope, man!

1129
00:52:15,796 --> 00:52:17,093
What?

1130
00:52:22,670 --> 00:52:24,331
- Craig!
- What the fuck do we do?

1131
00:52:24,405 --> 00:52:26,168
Craig! Craig!

1132
00:52:27,975 --> 00:52:28,964
Are you okay?

1133
00:52:29,043 --> 00:52:30,067
What happened, man?

1134
00:52:30,144 --> 00:52:31,634
I don't know! There's something out there.

1135
00:52:35,516 --> 00:52:36,676
Oh, shit!

1136
00:52:39,820 --> 00:52:41,845
A knife! Somebody throw me a knife!

1137
00:52:41,922 --> 00:52:43,219
I'll get it.

1138
00:52:46,894 --> 00:52:49,158
- Why?
- OMG.

1139
00:52:49,230 --> 00:52:50,754
Jay, I'm so sorry, bro.

1140
00:52:50,831 --> 00:52:51,820
The fuck?

1141
00:52:53,667 --> 00:52:55,134
Cut it! Cut it! Cut it! Cut it! Cut it!

1142
00:52:56,503 --> 00:52:59,028
God! What the fuck was that?

1143
00:52:59,106 --> 00:53:01,472
I don't know what the fuck that was,
but I ain't going back out there.

1144
00:53:01,542 --> 00:53:02,634
Craig, you didn't even get any of the water.

1145
00:53:02,710 --> 00:53:03,699
The door was fucked up.

1146
00:53:03,777 --> 00:53:05,972
Damn it, this is so frustrating!

1147
00:53:06,046 --> 00:53:08,310
It's so close, but so far.

1148
00:53:08,382 --> 00:53:11,476
The water, it's, like, right underneath us.

1149
00:53:11,552 --> 00:53:13,179
Like, right there.

1150
00:53:13,254 --> 00:53:16,018
What do you mean "right underneath us"?

1151
00:53:16,090 --> 00:53:19,389
Like, literally, like, right there.

1152
00:53:19,460 --> 00:53:21,087
If you went right through the floor.

1153
00:53:33,307 --> 00:53:34,740
Yo.

1154
00:53:34,808 --> 00:53:39,245
Danny and Jonah's shift ends in ten minutes,
so our break is almost over.

1155
00:53:39,813 --> 00:53:41,246
Okay.

1156
00:53:41,448 --> 00:53:42,710
Let me ask you something.

1157
00:53:44,251 --> 00:53:46,719
You really think this is

1158
00:53:46,787 --> 00:53:48,254
the Apocalypse?

1159
00:53:48,322 --> 00:53:50,847
You saw something out there, didn't you?

1160
00:53:50,924 --> 00:53:56,362
All right, let's just say
for sake of argument, what if I did?

1161
00:53:56,430 --> 00:53:58,557
What if this is the real shit,
right now, happening?

1162
00:53:59,533 --> 00:54:02,024
What if it is, man?
We're not prepared for this.

1163
00:54:02,136 --> 00:54:04,070
- What do we do? What's next?
- It says in the Bible,

1164
00:54:04,138 --> 00:54:06,072
"The worthy will ascend to Heaven."

1165
00:54:06,140 --> 00:54:11,373
Even if it is
the Apocalypse, it's not the end of us.

1166
00:54:11,445 --> 00:54:13,003
There's still hope.

1167
00:54:13,080 --> 00:54:16,345
We just have to somehow
try to prove our worthiness.

1168
00:54:16,417 --> 00:54:18,681
Okay, so, you mean, like,

1169
00:54:18,752 --> 00:54:22,210
like the Ten Commandments,
like, do shit unto people

1170
00:54:22,289 --> 00:54:23,517
that'll do the same shit to you.

1171
00:54:23,590 --> 00:54:25,285
That's a great place to start.

1172
00:54:25,359 --> 00:54:26,792
You know, to just overall love.

1173
00:54:26,860 --> 00:54:29,954
Just be nicer
and follow those commandments.

1174
00:54:30,030 --> 00:54:33,727
Listen. We're gonna get through this.
We're gonna get through this, man.

1175
00:54:33,801 --> 00:54:36,463
You know why?
'Cause we're gonna do it together.

1176
00:54:36,537 --> 00:54:37,765
You promise?

1177
00:54:37,838 --> 00:54:39,100
We're gonna do this.

1178
00:54:40,808 --> 00:54:42,833
I hear everything.

1179
00:54:52,986 --> 00:54:54,920
Who did this?

1180
00:54:54,988 --> 00:54:56,387
Who did this?

1181
00:54:56,457 --> 00:54:58,652
Did what? What are you talking about?

1182
00:54:58,726 --> 00:55:01,388
Jizzed all over the pages
of this nice magazine

1183
00:55:01,462 --> 00:55:03,396
I was nice enough to tell you about.

1184
00:55:03,464 --> 00:55:05,125
Was it you, Seth?

1185
00:55:05,199 --> 00:55:06,325
No.

1186
00:55:06,400 --> 00:55:07,833
- No?
- It was me, Franco.

1187
00:55:07,901 --> 00:55:10,062
I fucking made jizz in your magazine.

1188
00:55:10,137 --> 00:55:11,934
- Why?
- When I fucking jack off

1189
00:55:12,005 --> 00:55:13,734
long enough, I end up jizzing, dude.

1190
00:55:13,807 --> 00:55:16,332
I'm assuming the same shit works for you?

1191
00:55:16,410 --> 00:55:19,072
Real fucking smart answer!
Why don't you fucking aim, huh?

1192
00:55:19,146 --> 00:55:22,343
I have a particularly explosive ejaculate.
It just goes everywhere.

1193
00:55:22,416 --> 00:55:24,316
It's like a fucking wild fireman's hose.

1194
00:55:24,385 --> 00:55:27,354
You just got to grab on and pray to God
it doesn't get in your eyes or your mouth.

1195
00:55:27,421 --> 00:55:30,151
The fuck kind of jerking off is that?
What, you never had any brothers?

1196
00:55:30,224 --> 00:55:32,818
You didn't learn to jizz in a fucking sock
or on a fucking tissue?

1197
00:55:32,893 --> 00:55:36,192
No, I don't have any brothers.
I was raised in a house of women!

1198
00:55:36,263 --> 00:55:38,026
I highly doubt they fucking taught you

1199
00:55:38,098 --> 00:55:40,760
to fucking close your eyes
and fucking cum wherever you want!

1200
00:55:40,834 --> 00:55:43,496
I mean, you're getting all worked up
over a fucking porno mag!

1201
00:55:43,570 --> 00:55:45,834
Who has goddamn porno mags anymore?

1202
00:55:45,906 --> 00:55:48,272
Welcome to the 21st century, Buck Rogers!

1203
00:55:48,342 --> 00:55:51,175
You designed a house with
fucking iPads in the walls,

1204
00:55:51,245 --> 00:55:53,679
yet you're jerking your dick
like a goddamn pilgrim!

1205
00:55:53,747 --> 00:55:56,272
That's right, man. I like to fucking read!

1206
00:55:56,350 --> 00:55:58,375
You think that's the only thing
I jerked off in here?

1207
00:55:58,452 --> 00:56:01,683
I've been dropping loads around this
fucking house like a goddamn dump truck.

1208
00:56:01,755 --> 00:56:03,222
You don't cum on my stuff!

1209
00:56:03,290 --> 00:56:06,282
I'll cum wherever the fuck I want, James.
I'll fucking cum in your kitchen.

1210
00:56:06,360 --> 00:56:09,193
I'll cum on your fucking art.
I'll cum anywhere I want!

1211
00:56:09,263 --> 00:56:10,958
I will fucking cum right on you!

1212
00:56:11,031 --> 00:56:13,397
I will cum like a fucking
madman all over you, McBride!

1213
00:56:13,467 --> 00:56:17,631
I fucking wish you'd cum on me right now.
I fucking dare you to cum on me!

1214
00:56:18,705 --> 00:56:20,172
God!

1215
00:56:20,240 --> 00:56:22,470
I'm gonna jack my dick
so fucking hard in here!

1216
00:56:22,543 --> 00:56:25,068
This, no more, man.
All over your fucking face.

1217
00:56:25,145 --> 00:56:27,204
This fucking all more.
All over the fucking place!

1218
00:56:27,281 --> 00:56:28,908
I'll fucking cum anywhere I want!

1219
00:56:28,982 --> 00:56:31,883
I'll fucking cum on these walls!
I'll cum on the fucking cabinets!

1220
00:56:31,952 --> 00:56:33,510
On the fucking furniture!
I'll cum everywhere!

1221
00:56:33,587 --> 00:56:36,818
If I see your dick one more time,
I'm gonna fucking shoot it off!

1222
00:56:36,890 --> 00:56:38,687
You don't have enough bullets, bitch.

1223
00:56:38,759 --> 00:56:41,250
No fucking jerking off in my house, McBride!

1224
00:56:44,298 --> 00:56:46,027
- Come on, man.
- Fuck this.

1225
00:56:46,099 --> 00:56:47,760
I'm just... I'm too thirsty to do this.

1226
00:56:47,835 --> 00:56:51,362
And the fucking bitter irony is I'm not gonna
have my thirst quenched until I finish this.

1227
00:56:51,438 --> 00:56:52,928
- God damn it, I hate it.
- Danny, no.

1228
00:56:53,006 --> 00:56:54,439
Don't walk away.
Danny, don't walk away from me!

1229
00:56:54,508 --> 00:56:57,568
It's too late, Seth.
I've already walked away too much.

1230
00:56:57,644 --> 00:56:59,407
No, you haven't. You could still come back

1231
00:56:59,480 --> 00:57:02,005
and just fucking turn around
and come back and help me.

1232
00:57:04,017 --> 00:57:05,245
Danny?

1233
00:57:05,953 --> 00:57:07,147
Daniel?

1234
00:57:16,396 --> 00:57:17,727
Need a hand?

1235
00:57:18,332 --> 00:57:19,629
Yeah, dude.

1236
00:57:19,700 --> 00:57:20,689
Your shift just ended, man.

1237
00:57:20,767 --> 00:57:22,132
You don't have to help me
if you don't want to.

1238
00:57:22,202 --> 00:57:23,396
It's fine, I get it.

1239
00:57:23,470 --> 00:57:25,233
The fuck else am I doing?

1240
00:57:25,305 --> 00:57:27,432
I appreciate it, man. Thank you.

1241
00:57:27,508 --> 00:57:28,941
- Done and done.
- That's cool.

1242
00:57:35,282 --> 00:57:37,807
I don't know why I'm thinking of this,
but remember that time

1243
00:57:37,885 --> 00:57:41,719
that I got you a fucking
Taco Bell gift certificate

1244
00:57:41,788 --> 00:57:45,554
for, like, 20 bucks, and I bet you
that you couldn't eat all of that in one sitting.

1245
00:57:45,626 --> 00:57:47,423
I do remember that. I remember thinking,

1246
00:57:47,494 --> 00:57:50,156
"How much food could 20 dollars
possibly buy you at Taco Bell?"

1247
00:57:50,230 --> 00:57:51,663
And the answer is infinite.

1248
00:57:51,732 --> 00:57:53,757
And we went to see fucking <i>Gladiator.</i>

1249
00:57:53,834 --> 00:57:57,395
- Yeah.
- And you sharted midway through the movie.

1250
00:57:57,471 --> 00:57:59,132
- I did.
- Due to the tigers' appearance.

1251
00:57:59,206 --> 00:58:00,764
- I got scared of the tigers.
- Yeah.

1252
00:58:00,841 --> 00:58:02,308
Literally, when the second
tiger came out, I went...

1253
00:58:02,376 --> 00:58:03,775
...and then I shat.

1254
00:58:03,844 --> 00:58:05,141
I shat in the theater.

1255
00:58:12,119 --> 00:58:14,144
- Jesus.
- Oh, fuck.

1256
00:58:14,221 --> 00:58:15,654
You guys okay?

1257
00:58:15,722 --> 00:58:17,349
- I broke my ass in half.
- Here.

1258
00:58:17,424 --> 00:58:18,948
Shit, they got through!

1259
00:58:19,026 --> 00:58:21,256
- You guys fucking did it.
- Oh, my God.

1260
00:58:21,328 --> 00:58:23,660
- Fuck. Did that hurt?
- Yes, it fucking hurt.

1261
00:58:23,730 --> 00:58:25,721
I loosened this up for you,
I'll have you know.

1262
00:58:25,799 --> 00:58:27,630
Okay, just shut up.
It's fucking dark down here.

1263
00:58:27,701 --> 00:58:30,169
Hold on, hold on.

1264
00:58:31,038 --> 00:58:32,164
Nice.

1265
00:58:32,239 --> 00:58:34,173
- Okay, good. Thank you.
- What is that?

1266
00:58:34,241 --> 00:58:36,971
That's Terrence Peterson.
My monkey flashlight keychain.

1267
00:58:37,044 --> 00:58:38,705
Monkey flashlight keychain?

1268
00:58:38,779 --> 00:58:40,337
- What's his name?
- Terrence Peterson.

1269
00:58:40,414 --> 00:58:41,847
- You see it, Seth?
- No. Where...

1270
00:58:41,915 --> 00:58:43,212
Are you sure it's even down here?

1271
00:58:43,283 --> 00:58:44,341
Terry Pete.

1272
00:58:44,418 --> 00:58:45,783
Not sure.

1273
00:58:45,852 --> 00:58:47,149
Is there, is there any weird shit down here?

1274
00:58:47,220 --> 00:58:50,121
Nah, it's where I keep
all my stuff from my old movies.

1275
00:58:50,190 --> 00:58:51,418
Costumes, props.

1276
00:59:02,769 --> 00:59:04,361
- What?
- Is someone down there?

1277
00:59:04,438 --> 00:59:07,635
It's your fucking stupid
cutout from <i>Spider-Man 3.</i>

1278
00:59:07,708 --> 00:59:09,232
Jesus Christ.

1279
00:59:09,309 --> 00:59:10,367
No shit!

1280
00:59:10,444 --> 00:59:11,536
- There it is!
- Yes! Yeah!

1281
00:59:11,612 --> 00:59:13,546
- What, did you find it?
- Yeah!

1448
00:59:15,768 --> 00:59:17,247
♫ LA-da-da-da-dah

1449
00:59:17,328 --> 00:59:19,319
- ♫ It's the motherfucking D.
- O-double-G

1450
00:59:19,448 --> 00:59:20,767
♫ Snoop Dogg!

1451
00:59:20,848 --> 00:59:22,247
♫ LA-da-da-da-dahh

1452
00:59:22,368 --> 00:59:24,564
♫ You know I'm mobbin'
with the D.R.E. ♫

1282
00:59:24,658 --> 00:59:25,784
Water.

1283
00:59:29,062 --> 00:59:31,121
That is so fucking good.

1284
00:59:31,198 --> 00:59:32,688
The two heroes over here,
breaking through the floor.

1285
00:59:32,766 --> 00:59:34,256
We did break through the floor.

1286
00:59:34,334 --> 00:59:36,268
Any of you guys would
have done the same thing.

1287
00:59:36,336 --> 00:59:38,702
Oh, man. That fucking hurt.

1288
00:59:38,772 --> 00:59:40,899
Yeah, I'm surprised you didn't shart again.

1289
00:59:40,974 --> 00:59:42,168
I think I did.

1290
00:59:42,242 --> 00:59:44,073
Hey, what year is this? 19...

1291
00:59:44,144 --> 00:59:45,736
That's a good... That's a good year.

1292
00:59:45,812 --> 00:59:47,109
Hey, hey. Yo, yo, yo!

1293
00:59:47,180 --> 00:59:48,875
Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing?

1294
00:59:48,949 --> 00:59:50,041
What am I doing?

1295
00:59:51,418 --> 00:59:52,851
Fuck, man.

1296
00:59:52,919 --> 00:59:54,853
I'm just pouring myself
another glass of water

1297
00:59:54,921 --> 00:59:56,889
to wash down that dry-ass
Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

1298
00:59:56,957 --> 00:59:59,926
That's very nice, but you can't just
pour yourself another glass of water, man!

1299
00:59:59,993 --> 01:00:01,085
Will you cut it out?

1300
01:00:01,161 --> 01:00:03,425
- Yeah.
- We agreed to one glass at dinner,

1301
01:00:03,497 --> 01:00:04,691
we voted on it, man.

1302
01:00:04,765 --> 01:00:07,427
Well, man, I'm just getting sick and tired
of all these fucking rules, man.

1303
01:00:07,501 --> 01:00:08,934
You don't see me putting rules on you guys.

1304
01:00:09,002 --> 01:00:11,368
You cannot have another glass of water.

1305
01:00:11,438 --> 01:00:13,463
Jay weighs 150 pounds less than me.

1306
01:00:13,540 --> 01:00:15,440
Why the fuck is it fair

1307
01:00:15,509 --> 01:00:17,409
that him and I should drink
the same amount of water?

1308
01:00:17,477 --> 01:00:21,140
We should be dividing our rations
based on our proportionate size.

1309
01:00:21,214 --> 01:00:23,705
I don't want to come off
as a diva here or anything.

1310
01:00:23,784 --> 01:00:26,412
It's just that I think everyone
should split everything equally.

1311
01:00:26,486 --> 01:00:28,647
"I just think that everybody
should have the fucking same.

1312
01:00:28,722 --> 01:00:30,815
"I have a goddamn earring."
Shut the fuck up, Jonah!

1313
01:00:30,891 --> 01:00:34,554
You know what, Danny? If you weren't jizzing
all the time, maybe you'd be more hydrated.

1314
01:00:34,628 --> 01:00:36,255
You're making me into a joke
right now, Franco,

1315
01:00:36,329 --> 01:00:38,126
and you are not gonna like
the fucking punch line.

1316
01:00:38,198 --> 01:00:41,133
No more jerking off! No more water!
Just sit the fuck down!

1317
01:00:41,201 --> 01:00:42,498
Okay, I'm done.

1318
01:00:42,569 --> 01:00:43,797
We're not gonna have any more water.

1319
01:00:43,870 --> 01:00:44,859
- Good.
- All right.

1320
01:00:46,873 --> 01:00:48,465
Hey!

1321
01:00:55,716 --> 01:00:57,479
Someone help me! Fucking grab it!

1322
01:01:00,220 --> 01:01:01,482
What are you doing?

1323
01:01:01,555 --> 01:01:02,579
You guys made this happen!

1324
01:01:02,656 --> 01:01:05,124
You guys forced my fucking hand
by ganging up on me.

1325
01:01:05,192 --> 01:01:08,127
God damn it, I'm gonna fucking
kill this motherfucker!

1326
01:01:10,230 --> 01:01:12,664
That's what I thought. Nerd.

1327
01:01:17,871 --> 01:01:18,860
All right, guys,

1328
01:01:19,005 --> 01:01:20,131
let's get rid of him.

1329
01:01:20,207 --> 01:01:21,504
What? What do you mean?

1330
01:01:21,575 --> 01:01:23,133
Like, kick him out of the house?

1331
01:01:23,210 --> 01:01:25,974
His fucking reckless behavior is
dragging us all down.

1332
01:01:26,046 --> 01:01:28,037
I mean, he wasted our water twice.

1333
01:01:28,115 --> 01:01:30,015
Two times. Two times.

1334
01:01:30,083 --> 01:01:32,574
Dan is under a lot of pressure. Okay?

1335
01:01:32,652 --> 01:01:34,449
And he's not handling it
as good as the rest of us are.

1336
01:01:34,521 --> 01:01:37,217
Look at him.
He's wearing my fucking tuxedo.

1337
01:01:37,290 --> 01:01:38,882
He's been eating nonstop.

1338
01:01:38,959 --> 01:01:41,359
The fucker's gained weight since he got here.

1339
01:01:41,428 --> 01:01:43,453
The fucker's got to go.

1340
01:01:43,530 --> 01:01:44,519
Go.

1341
01:01:44,598 --> 01:01:46,156
The fucker's got to go.

1342
01:01:50,670 --> 01:01:52,262
This is how you all feel?

1343
01:01:52,339 --> 01:01:53,636
We talked about it.

1344
01:01:53,707 --> 01:01:56,574
You guys are gonna vote me off the island?

1345
01:01:56,643 --> 01:01:59,578
I mean, I made you guys breakfast.

1346
01:01:59,646 --> 01:02:01,978
Shit, man, you wasted half
of our food when you did that.

1347
01:02:02,048 --> 01:02:04,744
Just thought I was doing
something nice for you guys.

1348
01:02:04,818 --> 01:02:08,117
Just to apologize
for my behavior at the party.

1349
01:02:08,188 --> 01:02:09,553
Party I wasn't even invited to.

1350
01:02:10,590 --> 01:02:11,818
I'm not an idiot.

1351
01:02:12,292 --> 01:02:14,920
I know why you guys don't fucking call me
or hang out with me anymore.

1352
01:02:14,995 --> 01:02:18,021
It's because I party so fucking hard.

1353
01:02:18,498 --> 01:02:21,558
Always have. Ever since I was a baby.

1354
01:02:21,635 --> 01:02:23,364
I wouldn't just suck on my mama's titties.

1355
01:02:23,436 --> 01:02:26,530
I would fucking bang 'em and motorboat 'em.

1356
01:02:27,741 --> 01:02:31,268
Everything I've been doing
has just been a cry for help.

1357
01:02:31,344 --> 01:02:34,177
When I came on your magazine, James,

1358
01:02:34,247 --> 01:02:36,215
it was a cum for help.

1359
01:02:36,283 --> 01:02:40,083
I've just been crying and comin'
and crying and comin'

1360
01:02:40,720 --> 01:02:42,984
tears from the tip of my penis, dudes.

1361
01:02:44,324 --> 01:02:46,053
I'm sorry, all right?
You can cum wherever you want.

1362
01:02:46,126 --> 01:02:48,526
I don't even care about coming anymore.

1363
01:02:50,096 --> 01:02:52,496
Right now, I'm just kind of into going.

1364
01:02:53,667 --> 01:02:55,328
- Danny.
- Danny.

1365
01:02:55,402 --> 01:02:56,528
- Hey.
- Come on, man.

1366
01:02:56,603 --> 01:02:58,093
I fucked up.

1367
01:02:58,171 --> 01:02:59,468
I'm sorry, man. Come on, look,

1368
01:02:59,539 --> 01:03:01,234
- I was wrong.
- I feel like shit, man.

1369
01:03:01,308 --> 01:03:02,798
I didn't want it to happen like this.

1370
01:03:02,876 --> 01:03:05,367
- Let's just discuss it some more, okay?
- Yeah. Let's just talk, dude.

1371
01:03:05,445 --> 01:03:08,107
We're giving you an option.
It's a choice, man.

1372
01:03:08,181 --> 01:03:10,046
There's nothing to figure out, all right?

1373
01:03:10,116 --> 01:03:12,744
You guys have said enough,
and there's no going back anymore.

1374
01:03:13,954 --> 01:03:16,946
I don't know if there maybe is, like,
something you guys could give me

1375
01:03:17,023 --> 01:03:19,617
so I could at least have some sort of
protection while I'm out there.

1376
01:03:19,693 --> 01:03:22,059
Danny, you don't have to do this.

1377
01:03:22,128 --> 01:03:23,493
- Yeah, man.
- All right,

1378
01:03:23,563 --> 01:03:24,757
if you're really leaving

1379
01:03:26,132 --> 01:03:28,191
then you should take this.

1380
01:03:28,268 --> 01:03:29,963
Really?

1381
01:03:30,036 --> 01:03:32,334
You don't know what's out there.

1382
01:03:35,675 --> 01:03:37,336
Thank you, James.

1383
01:03:38,211 --> 01:03:41,647
It means a lot to you,
and I appreciate that you'd give this to me,

1384
01:03:41,715 --> 01:03:43,546
you stupid, stupid motherfucker!

1385
01:03:46,853 --> 01:03:49,651
Fucking psychopath. It's a prop gun!

1386
01:03:49,723 --> 01:03:51,281
What, do you think
I'd put real bullets in here?

1387
01:03:51,358 --> 01:03:53,690
You were gonna send me out there
with a fucking gun

1388
01:03:53,760 --> 01:03:54,818
- filled with blanks?
- Fuck you!

1389
01:03:54,895 --> 01:03:56,157
Don't turn this around on us.

1390
01:03:56,229 --> 01:03:58,220
You just tried to shoot us,
you fucking dickhead!

1391
01:03:58,298 --> 01:03:59,356
Fucking murdering motherfucker!

1392
01:03:59,432 --> 01:04:01,764
Whatever.
Fucking civilization is broken down.

1393
01:04:01,835 --> 01:04:04,303
There's no more reason
for this false bullshit.

1394
01:04:04,371 --> 01:04:06,305
You guys act like you're
so fucking high and mighty,

1395
01:04:06,373 --> 01:04:08,637
like you've never made
a goddamn mistake before.

1396
01:04:08,708 --> 01:04:10,676
Franco, you're just
a pretentious fucking nerd.

1397
01:04:10,744 --> 01:04:11,802
Fuck you.

1398
01:04:11,878 --> 01:04:12,970
And, Jonah,

1399
01:04:13,046 --> 01:04:14,377
you fucking cunt.

1400
01:04:16,116 --> 01:04:19,176
Craig, you didn't have my back, back there.

1401
01:04:19,252 --> 01:04:21,379
- You fuckin' disappoint me.
- Bro.

1402
01:04:21,454 --> 01:04:24,218
And, Seth, you duplicitous taint.

1403
01:04:24,291 --> 01:04:27,226
- What?
- Then of course, there's Jay,

1404
01:04:27,294 --> 01:04:30,855
the self-righteous,
cock-sucking, two-faced backstabber.

1405
01:04:30,931 --> 01:04:32,694
What the fuck are you talking about?

1406
01:04:32,766 --> 01:04:34,529
I overheard your little
conversation with Craig, all right?

1407
01:04:34,601 --> 01:04:36,899
The only reason
why you care about any of us is

1408
01:04:36,970 --> 01:04:38,597
because you think
that's what God wants you to do.

1409
01:04:38,672 --> 01:04:40,071
You don't give a shit about us.

1410
01:04:40,140 --> 01:04:43,371
No, no, no, no, that's fucking
twisting that shit... You're fucking lying.

1411
01:04:43,443 --> 01:04:44,774
Am I twisting this?

1412
01:04:44,844 --> 01:04:49,611
I believe you were in Los Angeles
two months ago, at the Four Seasons.

1413
01:04:49,683 --> 01:04:53,210
I saw you there, and you specifically
asked me not to tell Seth,

1414
01:04:53,286 --> 01:04:57,313
so that you could maintain the illusion
that you always stay with Seth

1415
01:04:57,390 --> 01:04:58,482
when you're in Los Angeles.

1416
01:05:01,261 --> 01:05:02,455
Jay.

1417
01:05:02,529 --> 01:05:04,258
- Fuck, man.
- It's not...

1418
01:05:04,331 --> 01:05:06,697
Textbook twattage.

1419
01:05:06,766 --> 01:05:08,757
And just for the record, you guys,

1420
01:05:08,835 --> 01:05:11,099
I'm choosing to leave,
you're not kicking me out.

1421
01:05:11,171 --> 01:05:13,298
You guys had already said that
I could come back in

1422
01:05:13,373 --> 01:05:15,603
and I'm the one who said
that I'm not coming back in.

1423
01:05:15,675 --> 01:05:16,903
Don't be cocky.

1424
01:05:22,382 --> 01:05:23,713
Get the fuck out of here.

1425
01:05:25,452 --> 01:05:27,044
Is that true?

1426
01:05:29,155 --> 01:05:30,213
Yes.

1427
01:05:30,290 --> 01:05:31,587
Jay...

1428
01:05:32,859 --> 01:05:35,828
I know this is probably my fault
because I put you on a pedestal,

1429
01:05:35,895 --> 01:05:38,591
but you should not be
dishonest with your friends.

1430
01:05:38,665 --> 01:05:40,724
But you really let me down.

1431
01:05:41,835 --> 01:05:43,393
- Hey! Whoa!
- Jay, damn, man.

1432
01:05:43,470 --> 01:05:45,836
- Fucker.
- What the hell?

1433
01:05:45,905 --> 01:05:47,805
It's all fucked, isn't it?

1434
01:05:48,508 --> 01:05:49,873
- Jonah, you okay?
- Yeah.

1435
01:05:50,343 --> 01:05:51,674
Bleeding?

1436
01:05:55,448 --> 01:05:56,472
Yeah.

1437
01:05:59,019 --> 01:06:02,921
His insides hurt worse than my outsides.

1438
01:06:10,830 --> 01:06:12,161
Dear God,

1439
01:06:13,867 --> 01:06:16,165
I'd like to pray to You for a second.

1440
01:06:16,236 --> 01:06:17,897
It's me, Jonah Hill.

1441
01:06:19,906 --> 01:06:21,567
From <i>Moneyball.</i>

1442
01:06:23,910 --> 01:06:28,313
I hate Jay so fucking much.

1443
01:06:28,381 --> 01:06:31,350
I think he might be the worst person
You ever created.

1444
01:06:31,418 --> 01:06:34,945
I don't want to judge You, but...

1445
01:06:35,021 --> 01:06:38,286
What's up? What were You thinking that day?

1446
01:06:38,358 --> 01:06:42,886
I love Seth, I love being his friend,
he's an awesome guy,

1447
01:06:42,962 --> 01:06:48,867
but it's like Jay is the last connection
to his shitty, weird Canadian life.

1448
01:06:50,036 --> 01:06:51,765
Just do me one favor, God.

1449
01:06:53,973 --> 01:06:55,736
Just kill Jay.

1450
01:06:58,144 --> 01:06:59,736
That'd be so tight.

1451
01:07:57,971 --> 01:07:59,836
Stop, man.

1452
01:07:59,906 --> 01:08:02,101
Seriously, Craig, stop.

1453
01:08:02,575 --> 01:08:04,509
Your nails are sharp.

1454
01:08:16,623 --> 01:08:17,749
This is no dream!

1455
01:08:18,725 --> 01:08:21,023
This is really happening!

1456
01:08:22,028 --> 01:08:23,154
No!

1457
01:08:35,875 --> 01:08:39,834
<i>Something not that chill happened last night.</i>

1458
01:08:40,780 --> 01:08:45,149
<i>Yo, so, I just drank</i>
<i>my own pee for the first time.</i>

1459
01:08:45,785 --> 01:08:50,245
<i>And it ain't bad. I never thought to do it.</i>

1460
01:08:50,323 --> 01:08:53,451
<i>I always thought, you know,</i>
<i>pee stink, whatever, but...</i>

1461
01:09:11,411 --> 01:09:13,345
I think we all remember how this works.

1462
01:09:13,413 --> 01:09:15,608
Whoever gets the burnt match
has to go to one of Franco's

1463
01:09:15,682 --> 01:09:17,582
neighbors' houses,
get us some food and some water.

1464
01:09:17,650 --> 01:09:19,515
No-ho-ho. No, I'm not going first.

1465
01:09:19,586 --> 01:09:21,053
- I'll go first.
- Thank you.

1466
01:09:21,120 --> 01:09:22,883
Very mature of you. Thank you.

1467
01:09:27,360 --> 01:09:28,691
Yes!

1468
01:09:28,761 --> 01:09:30,490
Sorry.

1469
01:09:31,598 --> 01:09:32,587
Good job.

1470
01:09:36,336 --> 01:09:37,530
You okay, Jonah?

1471
01:09:37,604 --> 01:09:38,662
What's that?

1472
01:09:38,738 --> 01:09:39,796
You okay?

1473
01:09:40,473 --> 01:09:43,340
Yeah. Just bad sleep. Crazy dream.

1474
01:09:43,409 --> 01:09:44,671
Here, Jonah.

1475
01:09:47,947 --> 01:09:49,278
Jonah.

1476
01:09:49,349 --> 01:09:51,442
- Okay.
- Shit.

1477
01:09:51,517 --> 01:09:53,007
Craigers, you feeling lucky?

1478
01:09:53,319 --> 01:09:54,809
Will history repeat itself?

1479
01:09:57,590 --> 01:09:58,614
Thank you.

1480
01:10:01,661 --> 01:10:02,923
You got this, dawg.

1481
01:10:10,803 --> 01:10:13,169
Seth! No! Not you!

1482
01:10:20,346 --> 01:10:21,370
I'm not going.

1483
01:10:21,447 --> 01:10:23,813
- What?
- I'm not going.

1484
01:10:23,883 --> 01:10:25,214
I'm bowing out. I'm declining to go.

1485
01:10:25,285 --> 01:10:27,378
- What?
- Let me break it down for you.

1486
01:10:27,787 --> 01:10:29,379
I'm not fucking going.

1487
01:10:29,455 --> 01:10:31,514
You are definitely going.
Tell him he's fucking going.

1488
01:10:31,591 --> 01:10:33,889
Tell you what, why don't you
fucking go, Mr. Self-Righteous?

1489
01:10:33,960 --> 01:10:36,394
You're constantly saying what assholes
we are, how good you are.

1490
01:10:36,462 --> 01:10:37,986
You go get us some fuckin' water.

1491
01:10:42,135 --> 01:10:43,227
I will go.

1492
01:10:44,404 --> 01:10:46,065
Because I have

1493
01:10:46,139 --> 01:10:48,004
- something called honor.
- Fuck, fuck, fuck.

1494
01:10:48,074 --> 01:10:49,871
That's good. Yeah, you're very honorable.

1495
01:10:50,343 --> 01:10:51,674
I'll go with you, Jay.

1496
01:10:51,744 --> 01:10:52,938
Really?

1497
01:10:53,012 --> 01:10:55,446
Is it because of our pact upstairs?

1498
01:10:55,515 --> 01:10:57,949
Nah, 'cause you got them skinny-ass arms.

1499
01:10:58,017 --> 01:11:00,042
You couldn't carry enough to feed a hamster.

1500
01:11:01,521 --> 01:11:02,545
It's working.

1501
01:11:06,125 --> 01:11:07,456
Let's get that money.

1502
01:11:07,527 --> 01:11:09,119
Let's do it.

1503
01:11:09,595 --> 01:11:11,927
Yo. Out and to the left.

1504
01:11:19,405 --> 01:11:20,429
Bye.

1505
01:11:25,478 --> 01:11:26,809
Oh, my God.

1506
01:11:26,879 --> 01:11:28,107
What?

1507
01:11:28,681 --> 01:11:30,273
That's so sad.

1508
01:11:31,517 --> 01:11:33,610
Innocence lost.

1509
01:11:39,625 --> 01:11:41,024
What is that?

1510
01:11:41,294 --> 01:11:42,283
Fire.

1511
01:11:42,362 --> 01:11:43,829
There's, like, fire everywhere.

1512
01:11:43,896 --> 01:11:45,193
Damn it!

1513
01:11:46,132 --> 01:11:47,463
Hey, hey!

1514
01:11:49,369 --> 01:11:51,564
Fuck, yeah. Let's go, let's go, let's go.

1515
01:12:06,753 --> 01:12:08,516
- Hello?
- Shut the fuck up!

1516
01:12:08,588 --> 01:12:10,215
- What?
- You yelling that shit for?

1517
01:12:10,289 --> 01:12:12,018
- We got to find out...
- Don't yell no more, man.

1518
01:12:12,091 --> 01:12:14,116
Crack you in the head with this frying pan.

1519
01:12:14,193 --> 01:12:18,186
Okay. So we should probably split up,
cover more ground.

1520
01:12:18,264 --> 01:12:20,528
What you think this is, <i>Scooby-Doo?</i>

1521
01:12:20,633 --> 01:12:22,294
We're gonna go in there,
we're gonna find the kitchen,

1522
01:12:22,402 --> 01:12:24,097
and get as much shit as we can, together!

1523
01:12:24,170 --> 01:12:25,364
Then we're getting the fuck out of here.

1524
01:12:25,438 --> 01:12:27,167
- All right, all right.
- All right?

1525
01:12:30,910 --> 01:12:31,899
Hey.

1526
01:12:32,478 --> 01:12:33,638
Hey.

1527
01:12:33,713 --> 01:12:35,305
What are you doing?

1528
01:12:35,381 --> 01:12:39,340
That should be me out there.
I totally fucked those guys.

1529
01:12:42,722 --> 01:12:43,882
Fuck was that?

1530
01:12:45,458 --> 01:12:47,392
- Oh, fuck!
- Is he okay?

1531
01:12:47,460 --> 01:12:48,654
Dude! Jonah!

1532
01:12:48,728 --> 01:12:50,127
What the fuck? What do we do?

1533
01:12:50,196 --> 01:12:51,857
- Do you know first aid or anything?
- No.

1534
01:12:51,931 --> 01:12:53,023
- Jonah!
- I suck at first aid.

1535
01:12:53,099 --> 01:12:54,396
- Are you okay? Shit!
- Jonah?

1536
01:12:54,467 --> 01:12:56,332
Oh, no. Low blood sugar. LBS.

1537
01:12:56,402 --> 01:12:58,233
- LBS!
- He's having an LBS episode!

1538
01:12:58,304 --> 01:13:00,329
- I'll get the Milky Way!
- You get the Milky Way!

1539
01:13:09,282 --> 01:13:10,715
Jay.

1540
01:13:13,419 --> 01:13:15,512
Jonah, stay with me! Stay with me.

1541
01:13:15,588 --> 01:13:17,522
I got it, I got it, I got it, got it,
open his mouth.

1542
01:13:17,590 --> 01:13:18,887
- It's your friend, Seth.
- Open his mouth.

1543
01:13:18,958 --> 01:13:21,426
Open his mouth. Open his mouth.
I'll get this in there.

1544
01:13:21,494 --> 01:13:22,825
- Okay, okay.
- Shove it right in there.

1545
01:13:22,895 --> 01:13:24,419
Jonah. Milky Way, Jonah.

1546
01:13:24,497 --> 01:13:26,021
- You love the Milky Way.
- Yummy, yum.

1547
01:13:26,098 --> 01:13:27,429
It's not fucking working, man!

1548
01:13:27,500 --> 01:13:29,730
- What the fuck!
- How do we get it in there?

1549
01:13:29,802 --> 01:13:32,896
Chew it up, chew it up and spit
in his mouth like a baby bird.

1550
01:13:34,774 --> 01:13:36,867
- You just swallowed it, man.
- It's so good.

1551
01:13:36,943 --> 01:13:38,604
Give me a bite.

1552
01:13:39,745 --> 01:13:42,475
The second it hits your mouth is,
like, amazing.

1553
01:13:43,950 --> 01:13:46,077
- Okay.
- Open it.

1554
01:13:53,493 --> 01:13:55,120
What the fuck was that?

1555
01:13:55,194 --> 01:13:57,185
- That's Hebrew.
- That's not Hebrew.

1556
01:13:57,263 --> 01:13:58,662
It's fuckin' Latin or something like that.

1557
01:13:58,731 --> 01:14:00,358
I went to Hebrew school for six years.
That's not Hebrew.

1558
01:14:01,834 --> 01:14:04,064
You will drown in a river of blood.

1559
01:14:04,136 --> 01:14:06,070
The End of Days is here.

1560
01:14:06,138 --> 01:14:09,073
You will quiver
in the shadow of Kingdom Come.

1561
01:14:09,141 --> 01:14:12,076
Judgment Day is upon you.

1562
01:14:12,144 --> 01:14:16,410
The Apocalypse is nigh!

1563
01:14:18,985 --> 01:14:20,919
Hey, I think that's all it could fit.

1564
01:14:21,621 --> 01:14:25,682
Man, let's take this back to Franco's,
get the fuck out of here.

1565
01:14:27,693 --> 01:14:28,921
What are we going back for?

1566
01:14:28,995 --> 01:14:30,087
What are you talking about?

1567
01:14:30,162 --> 01:14:34,121
In theory, we could just fuckin' stay here.

1568
01:14:34,200 --> 01:14:40,105
And here, you don't have to sleep
in a friggin' tent under a dick.

1569
01:14:40,172 --> 01:14:42,640
- I like my dick tent.
- I'm just saying,

1570
01:14:42,708 --> 01:14:46,474
we could build a life here together, Craig.
I'd be really good to you.

1571
01:14:46,946 --> 01:14:51,747
All I know is I'm scared as hell,
and I just want to get back to our friends.

1572
01:14:51,817 --> 01:14:52,977
Yeah, but they're not my friends.

1573
01:14:53,486 --> 01:14:54,475
Seth is your friend.

1574
01:14:54,554 --> 01:14:56,749
We've been growing apart for years.

1575
01:14:56,822 --> 01:14:59,416
That's why I didn't stay
with him last time I was here.

1576
01:14:59,492 --> 01:15:01,960
And I stayed with him
this time to try and salvage it,

1577
01:15:02,028 --> 01:15:03,757
but clearly that didn't work out.

1578
01:15:03,829 --> 01:15:06,491
Jay, like it or not,

1579
01:15:07,133 --> 01:15:08,828
those assholes are all we got.

1580
01:15:12,905 --> 01:15:15,465
- Did you hear that?
- Yeah, that was a creak.

1581
01:15:20,613 --> 01:15:22,604
What is that?

1582
01:15:24,550 --> 01:15:26,040
What is that? Is that bile?

1583
01:15:26,118 --> 01:15:28,177
I don't know. It's cold.

1584
01:15:28,254 --> 01:15:29,516
Sniff it.

1585
01:15:29,589 --> 01:15:32,023
No. You sniff it.

1586
01:15:34,193 --> 01:15:36,058
- What?
- It smells like puke.

1587
01:15:37,063 --> 01:15:38,724
Don't get it on me!

1588
01:15:49,375 --> 01:15:50,706
- It's in my eyes!
- Dude!

1589
01:15:50,776 --> 01:15:53,108
- It's in my mouth!
- He's gone!

1590
01:15:53,179 --> 01:15:55,374
- Where is he?
- He's fucking gone!

1591
01:15:55,448 --> 01:15:57,678
Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!

1592
01:16:07,126 --> 01:16:09,720
Please, God! Jesus, Jesus!

1593
01:16:17,370 --> 01:16:18,359
Fuck.

1594
01:16:19,138 --> 01:16:20,867
- Jonah!
- Jonah!

1595
01:16:20,940 --> 01:16:23,067
Jonah, stop this!

1596
01:16:23,142 --> 01:16:24,700
- Please!
- Jonah, where the fuck are you?

1597
01:16:24,777 --> 01:16:26,404
Why did you vomit on us!

1598
01:16:29,849 --> 01:16:31,783
Bad Jonah! Stop!

1599
01:16:31,851 --> 01:16:33,682
Stop eating him!

1600
01:16:33,753 --> 01:16:35,744
Watch out! He's super strong!

1601
01:16:38,324 --> 01:16:39,348
Shit!

1602
01:16:39,425 --> 01:16:41,620
What is happen...

1603
01:16:41,694 --> 01:16:42,888
Oh, no!

1604
01:16:42,962 --> 01:16:44,725
I'm gonna tittie-fuck you, Seth.

1605
01:16:44,797 --> 01:16:46,230
Don't tittie-fuck me!

1606
01:16:46,298 --> 01:16:47,765
What are they, big B's or small C's?

1607
01:16:47,833 --> 01:16:50,358
I'm gonna push your titties together.

1608
01:16:50,436 --> 01:16:52,097
Push 'em together!

1609
01:16:52,171 --> 01:16:53,763
I'll get you something to help!

1610
01:16:53,839 --> 01:16:55,932
- I'll pass you something!
- Okay, pass it to me.

1611
01:16:56,642 --> 01:16:58,576
Fuck! Shit!

1612
01:17:04,650 --> 01:17:05,708
Seth!

1613
01:17:07,319 --> 01:17:09,287
We're getting crazy!

1614
01:17:15,227 --> 01:17:16,489
Come on! Come on!

1615
01:17:17,897 --> 01:17:20,388
Jesus, open, God damn you, open!

1616
01:17:23,736 --> 01:17:25,567
No, no, no, no.

1617
01:17:31,377 --> 01:17:32,844
Jesus...

1618
01:17:33,312 --> 01:17:35,712
Oh, fuck.

1619
01:17:36,148 --> 01:17:37,911
- We gotta hide. We gotta hide.
- I know!

1620
01:17:37,983 --> 01:17:39,314
- He's coming! He's coming!
- I know he's coming!

1621
01:17:39,385 --> 01:17:40,943
I don't know what the fuck to do!

1622
01:17:41,020 --> 01:17:42,749
I don't know...

1623
01:17:43,055 --> 01:17:44,488
Where are you going?

1624
01:17:44,890 --> 01:17:46,517
Shit.

1625
01:17:55,067 --> 01:17:57,001
- Please go away.
- He's sniffing.

1626
01:17:57,770 --> 01:17:58,759
I'm so scared, James.

1627
01:17:58,838 --> 01:17:59,998
Be quiet.

1628
01:18:01,540 --> 01:18:03,269
- You're breathing really loud.
- Am I?

1629
01:18:03,642 --> 01:18:04,802
- Don't breathe through your mouth.
- Okay.

1630
01:18:07,213 --> 01:18:10,046
- Now you're doing loud nose breathing.
- Am I?

1631
01:18:10,116 --> 01:18:11,913
I don't know where else to breathe from.

1632
01:18:13,552 --> 01:18:14,678
- Is that...
- Seth.

1633
01:18:19,725 --> 01:18:21,317
Oh, shit. Don't move.

1634
01:18:21,393 --> 01:18:23,020
Shit, he's coming right this way. Oh, shit.

1635
01:18:23,095 --> 01:18:24,357
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

1636
01:18:31,971 --> 01:18:33,905
Get out of my way! Move! Move!

1637
01:18:33,973 --> 01:18:35,941
Fuck!

1638
01:18:39,078 --> 01:18:40,067
You okay?

1639
01:18:40,146 --> 01:18:41,306
Come on!

1640
01:18:41,380 --> 01:18:45,407
- Let's go. Let's go.
- Okay. Okay. Okay.

1641
01:18:47,953 --> 01:18:49,750
What the fuck! What are you doing?

1642
01:18:49,822 --> 01:18:51,255
- What are you doing?
- What are you doing?

1643
01:18:51,323 --> 01:18:52,813
There's a fuckin' demon chasing us!

1644
01:18:52,892 --> 01:18:54,519
- A demon?
- Demon?

1645
01:18:54,593 --> 01:18:57,426
- What the fuck happened to you guys?
- That!

1646
01:18:57,496 --> 01:18:58,929
- It's Jonah!
- He's possessed!

1647
01:18:58,998 --> 01:19:00,260
He's crazy!

1648
01:19:01,200 --> 01:19:03,600
Oh, fuck! You brained him.

1649
01:19:03,669 --> 01:19:05,398
Is that... I was supposed to do that, right?

1650
01:19:05,471 --> 01:19:06,563
Yeah.

1651
01:19:09,909 --> 01:19:11,774
Motherfucker.

1652
01:19:12,478 --> 01:19:14,036
- Fasten!
- Hurry!

1653
01:19:14,113 --> 01:19:16,581
- Fasten, God damn you, bastard!
- He's gonna be fuckin'

1654
01:19:16,649 --> 01:19:18,048
bad news when he wakes up!

1655
01:19:18,117 --> 01:19:19,948
He's fuckin' strong.

1656
01:19:20,019 --> 01:19:21,714
- My side's good.
- Oh, shit!

1657
01:19:21,787 --> 01:19:23,345
All right, I'll fuckin' hit him.

1658
01:19:23,422 --> 01:19:24,990
- Fuck! Come on, come on!
- Okay!

1659
01:19:30,462 --> 01:19:32,896
This shit's cray cray, guys.

1660
01:19:33,199 --> 01:19:36,168
I mean, it's, like, the real, like Apocalypse.

1661
01:19:36,235 --> 01:19:40,831
It's, like, the Book of Revelations,
like that means there's a God.

1662
01:19:40,906 --> 01:19:42,203
Right?

1663
01:19:42,274 --> 01:19:44,970
I haven't led my life as though there's a God
this whole time.

1664
01:19:45,044 --> 01:19:47,535
Who fuckin' saw that coming?
That there's actually a God?

1665
01:19:47,613 --> 01:19:50,912
I'd say 95% of the planet.

1666
01:19:52,451 --> 01:19:54,612
Jesus fucking Christ, man.

1667
01:19:54,687 --> 01:19:56,746
You might want to stay away
from saying that.

1668
01:19:56,822 --> 01:19:59,313
"Jesus fucking Christ"? Why?

1669
01:19:59,391 --> 01:20:01,086
- Why can't I say that?
- One of the Ten Commandments.

1670
01:20:01,160 --> 01:20:03,993
"Thou shall not take
the name of the Lord thy God in vain."

1671
01:20:04,063 --> 01:20:05,496
Jesus isn't the name of the Lord.

1672
01:20:05,564 --> 01:20:06,792
God is name of the Lord.

1673
01:20:06,866 --> 01:20:08,891
Jesus, God, it's all the same.

1674
01:20:08,968 --> 01:20:11,300
- It's the Trinity.
- Father, Son, Holy Ghost.

1675
01:20:11,370 --> 01:20:13,270
It's like Neapolitan ice cream.

1676
01:20:13,339 --> 01:20:14,966
I don't even know what
the fucking Commandments are.

1677
01:20:15,040 --> 01:20:19,170
Guys, I think this is sort of bullshit,
because we're all good people.

1678
01:20:19,511 --> 01:20:22,446
I can look at each one of you in the eye,
I know you're good.

1679
01:20:22,514 --> 01:20:24,141
- I'm good.
- We're four actors.

1680
01:20:24,216 --> 01:20:26,184
We bring joy to people's lives.

1681
01:20:26,252 --> 01:20:27,981
Yeah, but we don't do it for free.

1682
01:20:28,053 --> 01:20:32,285
We get paid handsomely,
much higher than the average profession.

1683
01:20:32,358 --> 01:20:35,816
It's not like it was just handed to any of us.
We've worked really hard to be here.

1684
01:20:35,895 --> 01:20:38,022
Yeah, pretend like it's hot when it's cold.

1685
01:20:38,564 --> 01:20:40,691
You sitting on the beach, it's freezing,

1686
01:20:40,766 --> 01:20:44,862
you in your drawers, talking about
something, everybody's surfing.

1687
01:20:44,937 --> 01:20:47,167
I think God might have just fucked up,

1688
01:20:47,239 --> 01:20:50,299
made a mistake,
and left us behind by accident.

1689
01:20:50,376 --> 01:20:52,344
I mean, He's got a lot of shit on His plate.

1690
01:20:52,411 --> 01:20:55,505
It's not an oversight, it's not a mistake, okay?

1691
01:20:55,581 --> 01:20:59,745
We got to face facts. We're here,
and there's a reason we're all here.

1692
01:20:59,818 --> 01:21:02,150
Why are you so sure?

1693
01:21:02,221 --> 01:21:04,280
I've done things, man. I...

1694
01:21:07,426 --> 01:21:09,189
I gouged a man's eyeballs out.

1695
01:21:09,261 --> 01:21:11,024
- What the...
- Fuck off.

1696
01:21:11,096 --> 01:21:12,859
- Craig.
- Well, I was a kid, man.

1697
01:21:12,932 --> 01:21:15,162
It was a fuckin' bar fight.

1698
01:21:15,234 --> 01:21:16,565
It was a bad foosball game.

1699
01:21:16,635 --> 01:21:19,297
He said I didn't call spinneys,
and I fuckin' called spinneys.

1700
01:21:19,371 --> 01:21:22,204
He got all in my face,
and I smashed a bottle across his face,

1701
01:21:23,142 --> 01:21:24,837
and the first eyeball was an accident,

1702
01:21:24,910 --> 01:21:27,538
but then I was, like, fuck it,
and I went for the second one.

1703
01:21:27,613 --> 01:21:29,672
It was fucked up. But you know what?

1704
01:21:29,748 --> 01:21:34,208
That shit happens. I'm saying, that's...
I think that's why I'm here.

1705
01:21:34,286 --> 01:21:36,345
I got to admit something.

1706
01:21:36,422 --> 01:21:37,684
I...

1707
01:21:39,558 --> 01:21:40,991
I fucked Lindsay Lohan.

1708
01:21:41,060 --> 01:21:43,961
She was fucked up. She was high.

1709
01:21:44,029 --> 01:21:46,623
It was at the Chateau Marmont,
and she kept banging on my door.

1710
01:21:48,167 --> 01:21:49,896
She kept calling me Jake Gyllenhaal.

1711
01:21:49,969 --> 01:21:51,266
That's fucked up.

1712
01:21:51,337 --> 01:21:54,829
Yeah, I said, "Call me the Prince of Persia."

1713
01:21:54,907 --> 01:21:58,206
See, that's what I'm saying, man.
We've all done bad shit, you know?

1714
01:21:58,277 --> 01:22:01,178
We've done more bad shit
than good in our lives, and

1715
01:22:03,248 --> 01:22:06,081
it's time to pay the piper.

1716
01:22:07,052 --> 01:22:08,246
Whoa, shit!

1717
01:22:08,320 --> 01:22:10,311
Something's wrong.

1718
01:22:11,290 --> 01:22:12,552
God did this.

1719
01:22:12,624 --> 01:22:16,253
He gave us light, and then He took it away.

1720
01:22:16,328 --> 01:22:17,727
You hear that?

1721
01:22:17,796 --> 01:22:19,889
It's the soundtrack of us going insane.

1722
01:22:19,965 --> 01:22:22,798
Damn, I wish there was something
we could do to help him.

1723
01:22:23,836 --> 01:22:25,463
I know what we can do.

1724
01:22:34,279 --> 01:22:36,179
The fuckin' stench.

1725
01:22:49,962 --> 01:22:50,951
Jonah Hill?

1726
01:22:52,698 --> 01:22:54,029
Jonah?

1727
01:22:57,202 --> 01:22:58,601
Jonah Hill.

1728
01:22:58,670 --> 01:23:00,797
Jonah Hill is no more.

1729
01:23:02,041 --> 01:23:03,133
Demon?

1730
01:23:03,208 --> 01:23:05,073
Yes?

1731
01:23:05,144 --> 01:23:07,078
Fuck. That's not good.

1732
01:23:07,146 --> 01:23:08,408
That's not good.

1733
01:23:09,114 --> 01:23:10,706
Jay, you fool.

1734
01:23:10,783 --> 01:23:13,251
I say unto thee,

1735
01:23:13,819 --> 01:23:16,219
the power of Christ compels you!

1736
01:23:16,288 --> 01:23:19,155
Does it? Does it compel me?

1737
01:23:19,224 --> 01:23:21,283
The power of Christ compels you!

1738
01:23:21,360 --> 01:23:24,352
- Does it, Jay?
- The power of Christ compels you!

1739
01:23:24,430 --> 01:23:26,489
Is the power of Christ compelling me?
Is that what's happening?

1740
01:23:26,565 --> 01:23:29,090
The power of Christ compels you!

1741
01:23:29,168 --> 01:23:31,602
Guess what? It's not that compelling.

1742
01:23:31,670 --> 01:23:33,831
Jay, you serious right now?

1743
01:23:33,906 --> 01:23:36,204
That's your fuckin' plan?
You're gonna repeat lines from <i>The Exorcist?</i>

1744
01:23:36,275 --> 01:23:38,470
I would assume
they did their fuckin' research.

1745
01:23:38,544 --> 01:23:40,444
- It's a movie!
- It's a manual.

1746
01:23:40,512 --> 01:23:41,843
It's a fuckin' training manual.

1747
01:23:44,283 --> 01:23:45,750
I say unto thee,

1748
01:23:46,051 --> 01:23:48,519
the power of Christ compels you!

1749
01:23:48,587 --> 01:23:50,782
The power of Christ compels you!

1750
01:23:51,623 --> 01:23:53,818
The power of Christ compels you!

1751
01:23:53,892 --> 01:23:56,793
Geez, it hurts a little bit.
It's, like, this little sting.

1752
01:23:56,862 --> 01:23:59,296
The power of Christ compels you!

1753
01:23:59,364 --> 01:24:03,027
- Seriously, fuck off.
- The power of Christ compels you!

1754
01:24:05,304 --> 01:24:06,669
Jay?

1755
01:24:06,905 --> 01:24:09,669
- The power of Christ compels you!
- Holy shit!

1756
01:24:09,741 --> 01:24:11,333
- You're pissing him off, man.
- Just stop it!

1757
01:24:11,410 --> 01:24:13,207
- Jay!
- The power of Christ compels you!

1758
01:24:15,681 --> 01:24:17,546
- The power of...
- Get the fuck down!

1759
01:24:17,616 --> 01:24:19,675
- Don't fucking push me, asshole!
- Geez, man!

1760
01:24:19,751 --> 01:24:20,740
- Easy!
- Fuck you!

1761
01:24:20,819 --> 01:24:23,014
- You're a fucking asshole, you liar!
- Still?

1762
01:24:23,088 --> 01:24:25,648
- Yes. Still? Yes.
- Guys, guys, we got a possessed guy here!

1763
01:24:25,724 --> 01:24:27,282
Do we have to argue about this right now?

1764
01:24:27,359 --> 01:24:29,953
- Let 'em fight.
- We got an exorcism to finish. Hello?

1765
01:24:30,028 --> 01:24:31,325
Do you want to know
why I didn't stay with you?

1766
01:24:31,396 --> 01:24:32,920
- Yeah.
- You fuckin' changed.

1767
01:24:32,998 --> 01:24:35,899
You're a fuckin' sell-out.

1768
01:24:35,968 --> 01:24:38,232
You did fuckin' sell out. Everyone says.

1769
01:24:38,303 --> 01:24:42,137
At least I did change! You act like
you're fucking 18 years old still, Jay!

1770
01:24:42,207 --> 01:24:44,573
Grow up, Jay. That's why he's yelling at you.

1771
01:24:44,643 --> 01:24:46,702
You've been holding me back
this whole time!

1772
01:24:46,778 --> 01:24:48,370
That means fuck you.

1773
01:24:48,447 --> 01:24:50,472
Come on, guys! Come on!

1774
01:24:51,817 --> 01:24:53,808
Fuck you, you piece of shit!

1775
01:24:57,189 --> 01:24:58,383
Everybody, out!

1776
01:24:58,457 --> 01:24:59,719
Craig, stop 'em!

1777
01:24:59,791 --> 01:25:01,588
- Get apart!
- Now it's on.

1778
01:25:01,660 --> 01:25:04,094
Yo! What the fuck is all this, Franco?

1779
01:25:05,364 --> 01:25:06,991
Looks like food. How'd that get there?

1780
01:25:07,065 --> 01:25:09,465
What? You have more food?

1781
01:25:09,535 --> 01:25:10,763
You knew he had extra food?

1782
01:25:10,836 --> 01:25:12,565
Yeah, he gave me one cracker.

1783
01:25:12,638 --> 01:25:14,162
I would have sucked a dick for half a cracker.

1784
01:25:14,239 --> 01:25:16,571
All right, well, maybe I didn't want you
to suck my dick, all right?

1785
01:25:16,642 --> 01:25:17,802
- Look...
- I didn't want to suck it!

1786
01:25:17,876 --> 01:25:19,537
- That's the point of what I said!
- It was my fucking food!

1787
01:25:19,611 --> 01:25:21,738
- Guys, guys, guys, fire!
- Boys, boys, boys...

1788
01:25:21,813 --> 01:25:23,804
- Shit!
- Jonah's on fire!

1789
01:25:29,588 --> 01:25:30,953
Put it out!

1790
01:25:31,023 --> 01:25:32,422
Use your mouth! Put it out!

1791
01:25:41,333 --> 01:25:42,800
Go, go, go, go, go!

1792
01:25:51,777 --> 01:25:53,267
- Where is he? Where is he?
- Where is he?

1793
01:25:53,345 --> 01:25:54,505
Go, go, go!

1794
01:25:57,082 --> 01:25:58,709
Go, go, go, go, go!

1795
01:25:58,784 --> 01:26:00,547
Go, get outside!

1796
01:26:00,619 --> 01:26:03,645
- Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!
- Go, go on!

1797
01:26:03,722 --> 01:26:05,781
Come on, hurry up, he's coming!

1798
01:26:05,857 --> 01:26:07,552
He's coming!

1799
01:26:20,706 --> 01:26:21,373
Watch out, watch out!

1800
01:26:21,373 --> 01:26:22,305
Watch out, watch out!

1801
01:26:22,708 --> 01:26:25,040
Oh, my fortress!

1802
01:26:25,944 --> 01:26:28,811
Boys, I just want to point out,

1803
01:26:28,880 --> 01:26:30,347
we're out in the open now.

1804
01:26:31,083 --> 01:26:32,175
- Oh, fuck.
- Shit, shit, shit.

1805
01:26:32,251 --> 01:26:34,412
- Oh, shit.
- Hey, hey, hey.

1806
01:26:34,486 --> 01:26:35,646
- My Prius.
- Yeah!

1807
01:26:35,721 --> 01:26:37,518
- Yeah!
- Yes!

1808
01:26:40,659 --> 01:26:41,751
What is that?

1809
01:26:42,527 --> 01:26:44,518
No fucking way.

1810
01:26:45,464 --> 01:26:46,590
We're screwed!

1811
01:26:46,665 --> 01:26:49,133
We're totally screwed, guys.

1812
01:26:51,970 --> 01:26:52,994
I got this.

1813
01:26:53,071 --> 01:26:54,629
- What?
- I'll distract the thing.

1814
01:26:54,706 --> 01:26:56,674
I'll run over there screaming and shit,

1815
01:26:56,742 --> 01:27:00,371
and that should give you enough time
to get to the garage.

1816
01:27:00,445 --> 01:27:02,072
Well, yeah, but that thing can kill you.

1817
01:27:02,147 --> 01:27:05,548
Maybe I deserve it.
I've been shitty my whole life.

1818
01:27:05,617 --> 01:27:07,881
Being selfish, only doing shit for me.

1819
01:27:07,953 --> 01:27:10,251
Maybe it's only right that the last thing I do

1820
01:27:10,322 --> 01:27:13,416
on this planet isn't for me.

1821
01:27:13,659 --> 01:27:14,921
It's for you guys.

1822
01:27:14,993 --> 01:27:16,722
Craig, you don't have to do that.

1823
01:27:16,795 --> 01:27:18,092
Thank you very much, Craig.

1824
01:27:18,163 --> 01:27:19,926
- I appreciate that.
- You spineless...

1825
01:27:20,666 --> 01:27:22,600
I love you guys.

1826
01:27:22,801 --> 01:27:24,428
You're my best friends.

1827
01:27:24,503 --> 01:27:26,528
You're a real mensch, Craig.

1828
01:27:26,605 --> 01:27:28,766
See you on the other side.

1829
01:27:33,278 --> 01:27:36,406
Hey, hey, asshole! Hey, come on!

1830
01:27:36,481 --> 01:27:38,540
Pickle dick, demonic-looking motherfucker.

1831
01:27:38,617 --> 01:27:40,744
Nobody's scared of you. You ain't a raccoon!

1832
01:27:40,819 --> 01:27:42,616
Yeah, bring your ass, bitch!

1833
01:27:42,688 --> 01:27:45,589
Nobody's scared of you!
I'm Craig fucking Robinson!

1834
01:27:45,791 --> 01:27:46,917
Yeah.

1835
01:27:46,992 --> 01:27:48,152
- What's he gonna do?
- Craig.

1836
01:27:48,226 --> 01:27:53,220
I hope you like big dick, motherfucker,
'cause I'm about to fuck you raw!

1837
01:27:53,298 --> 01:27:55,562
For the last goddamn time!

1838
01:27:56,068 --> 01:27:57,695
Take your panties off!

1839
01:28:08,547 --> 01:28:10,174
Fuck, yeah!

1840
01:28:12,551 --> 01:28:13,540
It worked.

1841
01:28:13,618 --> 01:28:15,108
What's happening?

1842
01:28:15,187 --> 01:28:17,178
Craig! Craig!

1843
01:28:30,168 --> 01:28:33,262
Holy shit, do you guys
realize what this means?

1844
01:28:33,338 --> 01:28:34,862
That Craig was an angel this whole time?

1845
01:28:34,940 --> 01:28:37,841
- No, no, it means we can still be saved.
- No, no.

1846
01:28:39,778 --> 01:28:42,679
I don't fucking get it,
why does Craig get saved? I mean...

1847
01:28:42,748 --> 01:28:47,014
Craig sacrificed himself for us,
which means that there's still hope.

1848
01:28:47,085 --> 01:28:48,882
- That means we can be redeemed.
- Yeah.

1849
01:28:48,954 --> 01:28:50,717
It means that if we're
actually nice to each other,

1850
01:28:50,789 --> 01:28:53,622
we can get sucked up into Heaven, too.
That's the deal.

1851
01:28:53,692 --> 01:28:55,387
All right, I got it, let's just head out

1852
01:28:55,460 --> 01:28:57,724
- to my place in Malibu.
- Yeah.

1853
01:28:57,796 --> 01:29:00,993
Just survive long enough
until we do enough good things

1854
01:29:01,066 --> 01:29:03,125
and they accumulate
or do enough sacrifices,

1855
01:29:03,201 --> 01:29:04,327
and we'll all go to Heaven together.

1856
01:29:04,403 --> 01:29:06,371
That's a great idea, James.

1857
01:29:06,438 --> 01:29:08,133
Seriously, really, really good idea.

1858
01:29:08,206 --> 01:29:10,037
Really, you're such a smart guy.

1859
01:29:10,108 --> 01:29:12,133
Thanks, Seth, you're such a nice guy.

1860
01:29:12,444 --> 01:29:13,468
You got a great smile.

1861
01:29:13,545 --> 01:29:15,274
- Thanks, man.
- And an awesome laugh.

1862
01:29:15,347 --> 01:29:17,338
- I've heard it's annoying.
- How about that Jay back there, man?

1863
01:29:17,416 --> 01:29:19,008
- Dude, Jay, you kidding me? Come on.
- Come on.

1864
01:29:19,084 --> 01:29:20,381
- One of a kind.
- Get out of here.

1865
01:29:20,452 --> 01:29:23,216
You got a cool body. You can walk around
with your shirt off anytime.

1866
01:29:23,288 --> 01:29:24,915
It's not working, this isn't working.

1867
01:29:24,990 --> 01:29:26,855
What, you thought we would be
Raptured already?

1868
01:29:26,925 --> 01:29:27,983
I thought it would happen already.

1869
01:29:28,059 --> 01:29:29,185
No, we've just been talking nice.

1870
01:29:29,261 --> 01:29:31,161
Talking nice doesn't get you into Heaven.

1871
01:29:31,229 --> 01:29:33,322
Doesn't hurt to smile...

1872
01:29:35,967 --> 01:29:36,991
What the fuck?

1873
01:29:37,068 --> 01:29:38,399
You guys okay?

1874
01:29:38,470 --> 01:29:40,199
- Oh, shit.
- Christ.

1875
01:29:50,415 --> 01:29:51,848
- Franco!
- Come on!

1876
01:29:54,786 --> 01:29:56,413
Yo, cut his fucking head off!

1877
01:29:56,488 --> 01:29:58,922
What's going on?

1878
01:29:58,990 --> 01:30:00,958
No!

1879
01:30:01,026 --> 01:30:02,254
- Stop!
- No!

1880
01:30:19,778 --> 01:30:22,246
- Danny?
- What the fuck?

1881
01:30:22,314 --> 01:30:24,612
- You guys are still alive?
- Yeah.

1882
01:30:24,683 --> 01:30:26,776
Holy shit, I didn't expect that.

1883
01:30:26,852 --> 01:30:28,786
Fuck out here.

1884
01:30:29,688 --> 01:30:30,780
Get...

1885
01:30:30,856 --> 01:30:32,619
- Shit, I can't believe you guys are here.
- Oh, Jesus.

1886
01:30:32,691 --> 01:30:36,457
That's fucking crazy,
and your timing couldn't be more perfect.

1887
01:30:36,828 --> 01:30:39,422
It's been a long time
since any of us have eaten,

1888
01:30:39,498 --> 01:30:42,296
and you three gentlemen look delicious.

1889
01:30:42,367 --> 01:30:45,427
- What does that have to do with us?
- The fuck are you talking about?

1890
01:30:45,504 --> 01:30:47,165
I'm a cannibal, <i>hombre.</i>

1891
01:30:47,239 --> 01:30:49,070
We're gonna fucking eat your ass.

1892
01:30:49,140 --> 01:30:50,732
Fuck you, you can't eat us. Fuck that, man.

1893
01:30:50,809 --> 01:30:53,642
I do whatever the fuck I want, when I want.

1894
01:30:53,712 --> 01:30:55,304
I butt-fucked this dude.

1895
01:30:56,481 --> 01:30:57,470
See that?

1896
01:30:57,549 --> 01:30:59,141
I fucking slide right in that shit.

1897
01:30:59,217 --> 01:31:01,981
I do whatever I want. This is my gimp.

1898
01:31:02,053 --> 01:31:03,611
Channing, introduce yourself.

1899
01:31:03,889 --> 01:31:04,981
Hey, what's up, guys?

1900
01:31:05,056 --> 01:31:06,489
Y'all cool?

1901
01:31:06,558 --> 01:31:07,991
That's Channing Tatum.

1902
01:31:08,059 --> 01:31:09,822
That's Channing Tatum, dude.
What the fuck?

1903
01:31:09,895 --> 01:31:12,022
Channing fucking Tatum.
I found him wandering on the freeway.

1904
01:31:12,097 --> 01:31:14,793
I collected him, made him my bitch.
Get off my dick.

1905
01:31:14,866 --> 01:31:17,699
I call him Channing Tate-yum.

1906
01:31:17,769 --> 01:31:20,033
- Hard-core, man.
- I got him trained good.

1907
01:31:20,105 --> 01:31:21,766
Watch, he does tricks. Wait, shake hands.

1908
01:31:21,840 --> 01:31:24,331
- All right, Seth.
- Fucking roll over.

1909
01:31:24,409 --> 01:31:25,933
- I'm gonna create a diversion.
- Yeah.

1910
01:31:26,011 --> 01:31:27,876
- You and Jay make a run for it.
- What?

1911
01:31:27,946 --> 01:31:29,504
Danny's gonna eat you.

1912
01:31:29,581 --> 01:31:32,607
Listen, full-on sacrifice for you, dawg,

1913
01:31:32,684 --> 01:31:34,675
- like the ending to <i>Pineapple 2.</i>
- Yeah, lick that.

1914
01:31:34,753 --> 01:31:37,950
- That's Channing fucking Tatum, dawg.
- I love him.

1915
01:31:38,023 --> 01:31:40,491
That's fucking G.I. Joe, dude.
Fucking loves me.

1916
01:31:41,293 --> 01:31:43,818
Danny! We're friends! You can't eat us!

1917
01:31:43,895 --> 01:31:48,457
I'd love to catch up,
but we're fucking starving, so let's eat!

1918
01:31:48,533 --> 01:31:49,591
Fuck you!

1919
01:31:51,369 --> 01:31:52,768
Run!

1920
01:31:55,040 --> 01:31:56,064
Eat this!

1921
01:31:56,908 --> 01:31:59,570
Shit, fuck! Get him!

1922
01:32:00,812 --> 01:32:03,440
- Who wants it, you piece of shit?
- Man, we should go back.

1923
01:32:03,515 --> 01:32:04,880
- We should go back and help him.
- We should go back.

1924
01:32:08,720 --> 01:32:09,744
Fucking Rapture.

1925
01:32:09,821 --> 01:32:11,812
- Holy shit!
- It worked!

1926
01:32:16,394 --> 01:32:17,827
What the fuck?

1927
01:32:17,896 --> 01:32:20,228
Go to hell, McBride!

1928
01:32:20,298 --> 01:32:21,890
Fuck you!

1929
01:32:23,902 --> 01:32:25,802
Suck my dick!

1930
01:32:30,275 --> 01:32:31,902
- Oh, shit.
- What happened?

1931
01:32:31,977 --> 01:32:34,172
What did I do? Take me back!

1932
01:32:34,245 --> 01:32:36,338
- What did I do?
- I'll tell you what happened, Franco.

1933
01:32:36,414 --> 01:32:41,875
You don't get to get sucked up into Heaven
'cause you were being petty. Tom Petty.

1934
01:32:41,953 --> 01:32:43,887
You may not have invited me to your party,

1935
01:32:44,656 --> 01:32:47,352
- but you're the guest of honor at mine.
- What?

1936
01:32:50,929 --> 01:32:52,226
How fucking crazy is this?

1937
01:32:56,334 --> 01:32:58,063
Seth, Jay!

1938
01:32:58,136 --> 01:32:59,763
Oh, shit, they're running after us.

1939
01:32:59,838 --> 01:33:02,568
Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Run.

1940
01:33:02,641 --> 01:33:04,108
Bring them to me!

1941
01:33:04,175 --> 01:33:06,541
- Fuck.
- Get 'em!

1942
01:33:07,078 --> 01:33:08,875
Got to get Rogen.

1943
01:33:10,215 --> 01:33:11,239
Over here.

1944
01:33:11,316 --> 01:33:13,079
- What? Over here, over here.
- Here. What?

1945
01:33:13,151 --> 01:33:15,915
Shit, shit.

1946
01:33:16,588 --> 01:33:17,989
They're around here somewhere.

1947
01:33:17,989 --> 01:33:18,455
They're around here somewhere.

1948
01:33:18,523 --> 01:33:20,354
They kept running, you fucking idiots.

1949
01:33:20,859 --> 01:33:22,451
Shit, are they still there?

1950
01:33:22,527 --> 01:33:24,051
- I think they're gone.
- Are they gone?

1951
01:33:24,129 --> 01:33:26,063
- Oh, my God.
- Why did Franco flip off Danny?

1952
01:33:26,131 --> 01:33:27,723
Why did he have to do that, man?

1953
01:33:27,799 --> 01:33:30,427
- He was in the clear.
- That is textbook.

1954
01:33:30,502 --> 01:33:32,026
Vanity or...

1955
01:33:32,103 --> 01:33:33,365
- Is it vanity?
- Vanity or envy.

1956
01:33:33,438 --> 01:33:34,803
Is it envy or wrath?

1957
01:33:34,873 --> 01:33:36,898
- It's any of them, man.
- You can't do that.

1958
01:33:36,975 --> 01:33:38,567
It's being a sore winner, is what it is,

1959
01:33:38,643 --> 01:33:39,940
- more than anything.
- That's exactly what it is.

1960
01:33:40,011 --> 01:33:41,000
- You can't be a sore winner.
- No.

1961
01:33:41,813 --> 01:33:45,579
Well, this is another fine mess
we found ourselves in.

1962
01:33:48,987 --> 01:33:50,147
Fuck.

1963
01:33:50,555 --> 01:33:51,783
Listen, Jay...

1964
01:33:52,323 --> 01:33:53,722
Oh, shit.

1965
01:33:55,827 --> 01:33:57,988
Get out of here, let's get out of here.

1966
01:34:02,267 --> 01:34:05,464
You've got to be fucking shitting me!

1967
01:34:05,603 --> 01:34:07,468
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, no.

1968
01:34:07,539 --> 01:34:09,268
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, no.

1969
01:34:09,340 --> 01:34:11,774
- That thing's big.
- Holy shit.

1970
01:34:11,843 --> 01:34:13,105
It's so big.

1971
01:34:13,178 --> 01:34:17,046
Oh, man. Oh, Jesus.

1972
01:34:25,256 --> 01:34:26,382
- We're gonna die, man.
- Okay.

1973
01:34:26,458 --> 01:34:27,550
Okay, we're gonna die.

1974
01:34:33,064 --> 01:34:34,998
- Jesus!
- Oh, no!

1975
01:34:40,638 --> 01:34:41,832
- Shit.
- Listen to me, man.

1976
01:34:41,906 --> 01:34:44,636
I'm a fucking idiot. I put myself up.

1977
01:34:44,709 --> 01:34:46,074
I'm self-righteous.

1978
01:34:46,144 --> 01:34:47,634
- I think I'm better than you.
- No, no.

1979
01:34:47,712 --> 01:34:48,906
I was resistant to change.

1980
01:34:48,980 --> 01:34:50,971
- No.
- I should have grown with you.

1981
01:34:51,049 --> 01:34:54,382
I should have changed with you.
We should have changed together.

1982
01:34:54,452 --> 01:34:57,853
I didn't like what I became
so I hated what you became.

1983
01:34:57,922 --> 01:34:59,719
It's fine, man. It's fine.

1984
01:34:59,791 --> 01:35:01,656
- I love you, Seth, fucking love you, buddy.
- I love you, man.

1985
01:35:01,726 --> 01:35:03,159
- I always loved you.
- Let's die together, man.

1986
01:35:03,228 --> 01:35:05,059
- Let's die together.
- I love you, Jay.

1987
01:35:15,807 --> 01:35:18,401
- Holy shit, Jay, all right!
- Yeah, we did it!

1988
01:35:18,476 --> 01:35:19,875
I'm not getting sucked up into Heaven!

1989
01:35:19,944 --> 01:35:21,172
What do you mean? Why not?

1990
01:35:21,246 --> 01:35:22,838
I don't know why not!

1991
01:35:22,914 --> 01:35:24,006
Take my hand!

1992
01:35:24,082 --> 01:35:25,276
Okay, take me with you, Jay!

1993
01:35:25,350 --> 01:35:26,942
I'll take you with me.

1994
01:35:28,620 --> 01:35:30,212
Yeah!

1995
01:35:34,192 --> 01:35:35,750
- Yeah!
- It's working!

1996
01:35:35,827 --> 01:35:37,021
Yeah!

1997
01:35:44,435 --> 01:35:46,960
Oh, no! He sees us!

1998
01:35:49,007 --> 01:35:51,305
He can't touch us!

1999
01:35:51,376 --> 01:35:52,968
We're in a force field!

2000
01:35:57,248 --> 01:35:59,739
Oh, shit! Shit!

2001
01:36:03,521 --> 01:36:05,182
It's not gonna take me with you!

2002
01:36:05,256 --> 01:36:06,314
We're going down!

2003
01:36:06,391 --> 01:36:09,326
Keep holding on
and you'll get pulled up, too!

2004
01:36:09,394 --> 01:36:11,328
It's not! No, I won't, man!

2005
01:36:11,396 --> 01:36:13,125
I don't deserve to.

2006
01:36:13,731 --> 01:36:14,959
Fuck.

2007
01:36:18,670 --> 01:36:19,898
I'm gonna let go, Jay.

2008
01:36:19,971 --> 01:36:21,097
You'll die!

2009
01:36:21,172 --> 01:36:23,640
I know, but you won't.

2010
01:36:23,708 --> 01:36:24,936
No!

2011
01:36:25,009 --> 01:36:27,944
I don't deserve to go to Heaven, but you do.

2012
01:36:28,012 --> 01:36:29,445
You do, okay?

2013
01:36:29,514 --> 01:36:31,379
We're both gonna die if I don't let go.

2014
01:36:32,984 --> 01:36:35,316
I'm not gonna hold you back anymore.

2015
01:36:37,555 --> 01:36:39,045
No!

2252
01:36:46,896 --> 01:36:48,887
♫ And I...

2253
01:36:52,057 --> 01:36:55,174
♫ Will always love you

2254
01:36:55,897 --> 01:36:57,216
Yeah!

2255
01:36:57,417 --> 01:36:59,452
♫ I will always

2256
01:37:00,896 --> 01:37:03,046
♫ Love you

2257
01:37:03,136 --> 01:37:08,052
♫ I will always love you

2258
01:37:12,657 --> 01:37:14,727
Wooh! Yeah!

2017
01:37:14,993 --> 01:37:17,461
Come, hold my hand, buddy!

2018
01:37:17,528 --> 01:37:19,519
Hold my hand!

2019
01:37:19,597 --> 01:37:21,497
- Yeah!
- You did it!

2020
01:37:21,566 --> 01:37:23,158
- You did it!
- Yeah!

2021
01:37:23,234 --> 01:37:24,462
You did it!

2022
01:37:24,535 --> 01:37:26,867
Yeah!

2023
01:37:30,541 --> 01:37:32,475
We're flying!

2266
01:37:33,099 --> 01:37:35,772
♫ Love you ♫

2267
01:37:47,619 --> 01:37:50,975
♫ When I die and
they lay me to rest

2268
01:37:51,459 --> 01:37:54,770
♫ Gonna go to the
place that's the best

2269
01:37:55,180 --> 01:37:58,092
♫ When I lay me down to die

2270
01:37:58,180 --> 01:37:59,215
- Look!
- What?

2025
01:37:59,637 --> 01:38:00,661
Wow.

2026
01:38:05,677 --> 01:38:07,577
Welcome to Heaven, motherfuckers.

2027
01:38:08,413 --> 01:38:10,074
Craig!

2028
01:38:11,683 --> 01:38:13,548
- Yay!
- Yeah!

2029
01:38:14,052 --> 01:38:15,519
- Craig.
- Oh, my...

2030
01:38:15,586 --> 01:38:17,747
- What?
- This is awesome.

2031
01:38:17,822 --> 01:38:19,517
- Are you an angel?
- Yes, sir.

2032
01:38:19,590 --> 01:38:21,080
- That's so cool, man.
- That is so cool.

2033
01:38:21,159 --> 01:38:22,751
Congratulations, dude.

2034
01:38:23,094 --> 01:38:24,083
Fellas.

2035
01:38:24,162 --> 01:38:25,925
- Yeah.
- Yes.

2036
01:38:26,297 --> 01:38:27,764
Dude, you got one.

2037
01:38:27,832 --> 01:38:28,890
- What?
- That's so cool.

2038
01:38:28,967 --> 01:38:30,059
- Do I have one?
- Do I have one?

2039
01:38:30,134 --> 01:38:31,294
- I can't see it.
- Do I have...

2040
01:38:31,369 --> 01:38:32,859
- Wait.
- Let's touch 'em.

2041
01:38:34,005 --> 01:38:35,404
- Dude, this is so...
- Wow.

2042
01:38:35,473 --> 01:38:37,065
- What do we do now?
- Yeah.

2290
01:38:37,662 --> 01:38:38,651
Come this way.

2291
01:38:38,742 --> 01:38:39,970
Ooh...

2292
01:38:40,302 --> 01:38:42,896
♫ So you know that when you die

2293
01:38:43,382 --> 01:38:45,180
♫ He's gonna recommend you

2294
01:38:45,263 --> 01:38:47,094
♫ To the spirit in the sky

2295
01:38:47,183 --> 01:38:48,582
♫ Spirit in the sky ♫

2296
01:38:48,663 --> 01:38:51,894
Right? Do you love it?
Do you love it?

2045
01:38:52,290 --> 01:38:54,622
Whoa, they got weed in Heaven?

2046
01:38:54,692 --> 01:38:56,489
- What?
- You tell me.

2047
01:38:57,061 --> 01:38:58,119
What?

2048
01:38:58,196 --> 01:39:01,165
Holy shit! That's awesome!

2049
01:39:03,801 --> 01:39:04,961
Wow.

2050
01:39:05,036 --> 01:39:06,560
That's insane, man.

2051
01:39:06,637 --> 01:39:07,968
No, no, no, no, no, no.

2052
01:39:08,039 --> 01:39:10,667
That's Heaven.
Anything you could think of is yours.

2053
01:39:12,810 --> 01:39:14,072
Whoa!

2054
01:39:14,145 --> 01:39:16,841
Holy shit, this is awesome.

2055
01:39:16,914 --> 01:39:17,972
Segway!

2056
01:39:18,049 --> 01:39:19,744
I've always wanted to ride
one of these things.

2057
01:39:19,817 --> 01:39:22,047
Go ahead, Jay, make a wish.

2058
01:39:22,120 --> 01:39:23,144
Anything you could think of.

2059
01:39:23,788 --> 01:39:25,119
Anything?

2313
01:39:27,585 --> 01:39:30,099
♫ Everybody, yeah

2314
01:39:32,265 --> 01:39:33,665
♫ Rock your body, yeah

2315
01:39:33,746 --> 01:39:34,735
What?

2316
01:39:35,986 --> 01:39:37,977
No fucking way.

2317
01:39:38,066 --> 01:39:39,579
♫ Everybody

2318
01:39:39,666 --> 01:39:41,816
♫ Rock your body right

2319
01:39:43,666 --> 01:39:45,145
♫ Backstreet's back

2320
01:39:45,226 --> 01:39:46,580
♫ All right

2321
01:39:51,066 --> 01:39:52,579
♫ Hey, yeah

2322
01:39:54,786 --> 01:39:57,505
♫ Oh, my God, we're back again

2323
01:39:59,267 --> 01:40:02,065
♫ Brothers, sisters,
everybody sing

2324
01:40:03,387 --> 01:40:06,424
♫ Gonna bring the
flavor show you how

2325
01:40:07,947 --> 01:40:11,941
♫ Gotta question for you
better answer now, yeah

2326
01:40:12,068 --> 01:40:14,662
♫ Am I original?

2327
01:40:14,868 --> 01:40:16,096
♫ Yeah

2328
01:40:16,228 --> 01:40:18,901
♫ Am I the only one?

2329
01:40:19,268 --> 01:40:20,747
♫ Yeah

2330
01:40:20,828 --> 01:40:23,627
♫ Am I sexual?

2331
01:40:23,749 --> 01:40:25,307
♫ Yeah

2332
01:40:25,669 --> 01:40:27,500
♫ Am I everything you need?

2333
01:40:27,589 --> 01:40:29,864
♫ You better rock your body now

2334
01:40:29,949 --> 01:40:32,463
♫ Everybody

2335
01:40:32,549 --> 01:40:34,220
♫ Yeah

2336
01:40:34,308 --> 01:40:36,869
♫ Rock your body

2337
01:40:37,149 --> 01:40:38,662
♫ Yeah

2338
01:40:38,749 --> 01:40:41,388
♫ Everybody

2339
01:40:41,469 --> 01:40:44,222
♫ Rock your body right

2340
01:40:45,909 --> 01:40:48,743
♫ Backstreet's back, all right

2341
01:40:51,990 --> 01:40:53,548
♫ All right

2342
01:40:54,750 --> 01:40:57,469
♫ Backstreet's
back, all right ♫