It's time to celebrate...
Give it up for your host, Steve Harvey!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Thank you very much.
Appreciate y'all. Thank you.
Thank you, everybody.
Thank you very much.
Appreciate that. Thank y'all.
Well, America, I'm about to hit you
with the best, the most fun,
the most ridiculous vintage "Family Feud" moments
since this show began.
And that's over 9,000 shows, nearly 20,000 families
and more than 50,000 questions
and millions of dollars paid out.
Seven hosts have stood where I am.
Guys like Louie Anderson, Ray Combs, Al Roker,
and of course, the Mack Daddy, the OG,
the man who spent more money on ChapStick
than he paid out in prize money,
ladies and gentlemen, the legend Richard Dawson.
[ Cheers and applause ]
And then...
me.
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Laughs ]
Listen.
Since hosting this show for over 14 years,
half of my episodes are now considered vintage.
But there's no way you can tell they vintage looking at me.
[ Cheers and applause ]
So, listen, that's a lot of change over half a century,
you know, but one thing that's never, ever gonna change
and those are the awkward moments.
I'm talking about that moment where somebody gives an answer
that makes everybody so uncomfortable
just for a second
till, finally, somebody in the family starts clapping.
Good answer. Good answer.
[ Laughter ]
But the look on their face says, "Damn.
That's different."
[ Laughter ]
Like when a mom finds out
that her clean-cut Eagle Scout-looking kid's
been hitting the neighborhood key parties.
It's -- It's always the quiet ones.
Let's hit it.
Dawson: What do couples do to spark up their marriage?
How about get together with other couples?
[ Laughter ]
Whoo!
[ Laughter ]
How do you mean?
[ Chuckles ]
What do I mean? I just mean that, uh...
[ Laughter ]
Not talk.
What might a cheating husband give his mistress
that's nicer than the one his wife has?
Well, instead of saying orgasm,
can I say climax?
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
Name a way in which you can make bathing
a sexy experience.
I'm gonna have to say 4 -- 401K jelly.
[ Laughter ]
401K jelly.
401?
401K jelly, the sex jelly that they use.
Four...
[ Cheers and applause ]
Man: Yes. Yes!
I remember 401K being in a retirement plan
and not a jelly.
[ Laughter ]
But, you know, in a troubled economy,
you go anywhere you can.
401K jelly!
Steve: Name something a wife might buy
if she suspects her husband is cheating on her.
How about a pole for the bedroom?
[ Cheering ]
Josh: Mama...
Good answer!
Josh said, "Mama."
Josh said...
[ Laughter ]
Good answer!
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Laughter ]
Alright now.
Name something men wear to bed, Margaret.
A nightcap. A nightcap.
Jeff? Sweatsuit.
A.W.? Nightcap.
Elizabeth?
Condoms. A condom!
[ Laughter ]
My wallet!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Mother!
[ Laughter ]
Name a crime we've all considered
committing at least once, Terry.
Prostitution.
[ Laughter ]
Name something a burglar would not want to see
when he breaks into a house.
Rod?
Naked Grandma!
Naked, huh?
[ Mumbles ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
What are the chances?
Whoo!
Coco. Melissa.
Let's do it!
♪♪
Alrighty. Here we go.
Hands right there.
Eyes right here.
[ Laughter ]
Wow.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Name something people inflate.
How about a doll? I don't know.
[ Laughter ]
Show me doll. Is it up there?
Oh.
If you could change one part of your husband's body,
what would it be?
Joyce?
His penis.
[ Chuckles ]
Steve: His penis?
[ Laughter ]
You were thinking it.
I wasn't thinking a damn thing.
I don't know your husband.
But I think that's him with that happy tie on.
[ Laughter ]
He's having a rough day.
Tell me a slang term that means wife.
Bitch.
Oh.
[ Audience groans ]
Good answer.
Woman: Get him, Carly! Get him!
Get him, Carly. Get him. Yeah.
Distract him.
Distract him?
Come on, Darius!
Oh, woof, woof. [ Growls ]
What are you doing?
[ Laughter ]
Is that your wife over there?
Are you serious, man?
I'm looking right here. You're looking right there?
No, you weren't. Yours is over here.
Oh, that's right. That's right.
That's hers.
[ Cheers and applause ]
First rule of hosting this show --
You cannot save a man from himself.
Did you see Ladonna's face?
That ain't a look that's gonna ever go away.
[ Laughter ]
That's a look that's gonna follow you home
all the way to the couch where you now sleep.
[ Laughter ]
In all the decades of the "Feud", though,
there have been a lot of awkward answers,
but there's even more stupid answers,
which are the ones I love.
That's why I come to work.
I come because I know you gonna say something stupid.
Thank you so much.
Because the right answers might win you 20K,
but a really stupid answer can make you immortal.
[ Laughter ]
Keep us talking about you for the next 40 years.
And you just can't put a price on that, man.
It's time right now, everybody, to embrace the crazy.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Name something that follows the word "pork".
"Upine." Huh?
[ Laughter ]
Huh?
[ Laughs ] "Upine." Porcupine.
Willa: Good answer. Good answer.
Good answer!
Whoo. Yes!
Name something with a hole in the middle.
Michelle. Hole punch.
[ Laughter ]
I know everyone in America said what the audience did,
"What she say?"
Come over here for a second, Michelle.
Just lean in. Hello?
I'm embarrassed. Hello?
Name an animal whose eggs you'd probably
never eat for breakfast.
[ Inhales, exhales deeply ]
Hamster.
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
I-I hate to tell you, but, you know,
those little pellets aren't eggs.
Alright, name something people pick.
Their butt. [ Laughs ]
Woman: Good answer! Good answer, Jeena, good answer!
My dad used to do that.
He'd do that "Desert Storm Dig", I'd call it.
"What are you doing?"
[ As Dad ] "Hey, never mind."
Show me "Pick your butt".
Up there.
[ All groan ]
Name something you feel before you buy it.
Excited.
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
Give me a boy's name that starts with the letter H.
Jose.
[ Applause ]
Good answer. Good answer.
[ Laughter ]
Alright, now, look, I got to say something.
I know this is a show about families,
and families need to support one another, yada, yada,
so everybody can cheer and be all positive,
you know, no matter how crazy the damn answer is.
That kind of unconditional love and support,
it makes a family close, but it also gets you a kid
who thinks that Jose starts with a H.
[ Laughter ]
Name something London is famous for.
I'm thinking pasta.
[ Laughter ]
Steve: Name someone a man might not want to know
that he uses Viagra.
I would say the President of the United States.
Alright, you guys.
Alright. Good answer.
[ Applause ]
Dirk is looking for the President of the United States.
[ Laughter ]
That was by far the suckiest answer since I've been the host.
Who the hell do you know even knows the president?
I was saving the answers for my team. He got two wars,
a bad economy, a oil spill.
He ain't worried about you using no Viagra.
[ Laughter ]
Dawson: One of the three bears.
Yogi. A -- [ Laughs ]
[ Laughter ] A b--
[ Laughs ]
Steve: Name something that a person with long legs
might not be able to fit into.
I'm going to go with long pants.
Danika: Good answer.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Alright. Alright, alright, alright.
Rosalind: Good answer. Good answer. Good answer.
Danika: Good answer.
Come here. Read it with me.
"Name something that a person with long legs
might not be able to fit into."
And then you said "long pants."
Sorry, Steve. No, it's okay.
I don't -- I don't want you to say I'm sorry.
You know, I want you to, you know...
Y-You want to take that back, don't you?
Yes, I do. I know, but we got to check and see if it's up there now.
We're looking for them long pants.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Coming up, the more things change,
the more they stay the same.
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
Hey, look, everybody, we're celebrating
the many decades of "Family Feud" history.
You know, lots of things have changed over the decades.
The sets, seven hosts, even the prize money's gone up.
But what's changed the most
is what people will say on camera in front of millions.
I mean, in 1976, Richard Dawson would have to coax
a risque answer out of somebody
because people were so demure and considerate.
Me?
I got people screaming stuff at me
that's so freaky, so outlandish that they're gonna get us
all put on a watch list or something.
[ Laughter ]
Now check this out. You'll see what I mean.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Name something made of foam rubber.
I have a nasty one I don't want to say.
[ Laughter ]
If it means you're gonna win, say it, you know. Go ahead, say it, Kim.
If it means you're gonna win --
I don't know what you're gonna say -- How about a...
woman's underclothing that she wears above the navel,
you know? [ Laughs ]
Can you -- You have to be a little more --
be a little more specific.
There's nothing wrong with saying that. Say it.
It starts with a B. I know a B and then --
Ends with an A, and there's an R in the middle.
Gotcha. Alright. Fine.
There's nothing wrong with that.
Bra.
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Shouts indistinctly ]
Something that has to warm up before you use it, sir.
How about your wife?
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
Name a type of machine that requires coins.
How about a vibrating bed machine?
Oh, good answer. Good answer.
[ Cheers and applause ]
And then you stretch, right? Absolutely.
What do people do in a bathtub, not in the shower?
Well [laughs]
Be kind, this is... Yeah, well,
I'm trying to be kind, but, like, would they, like,
enhance -- touch themselves in an impure manner? Oh, Lordy.
[ Laughter ]
Thank you, Betty. Thank you.
Name something a man might do to look good
that he wouldn't want people to know about.
[ Lips trilling ]
Stuff his pants.
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
Yes, nothing makes a man look better
than to have the entire produce section on.
Tell me something you put in your mouth,
but you don't swallow.
Wow.
[ Laughter ]
Ooh.
You ever walked up to somebody
and saw the look on their face,
and you just know?
I walked up to her and I went, "Whoa."
[ Laughter ]
Well, I'm a pastor's wife, but I will say this out loud.
Their [bleep].
[ Chuckles ]
[ Applause ]
You know it's up there, Steve. Everyone knew it.
It's up there. No, I don't know a damn thing is up there.
What you ain't gonna do
is drag me into your little nasty world.
I don't know nothing is up there.
"Oh, Steve, you know what's up there."
How the hell I know what's up there?
[Bleep]
[ Laughter ]
Yes! Yes! Yes!
[ Laughter ]
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah
It ain't up there, yeah.
"Family Feud." 20 more years.
[ Laughter ]
Richard Dawson, we love you, man.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah, well, how many hosts you know that dance
when a contestant get an answer wrong?
[ Laughter ]
I mean, really, that's how uncomfortable I was there.
I was like, "Lady, come on. I just got this job.
Can you at least wait till we're in the repeats
before you kill this gig for me?"
You know who never got uncomfortable, though?
I'm talking about the OG -- Richard Dawson.
Just never, man.
Always just as cool as a cucumber.
I mean, just look at all the kissing he used to do.
It was a different time.
You won't see that now.
Grandmammas, daughters, wives.
If they had long hair and a name tag, he was going in.
[ Laughter, applause ]
Here's a true story, though.
He met his second wife on the "Feud".
[ Audience "oohs" ]
She was a contestant.
[ Audience "ohs" ]
Her family won...
...over 12 grand.
[ Applause ]
Yeah, but let's face it, though, marrying Richard Dawson,
she got a lot more than $5 for every point.
[ Cheers and applause ]
It's time to hop in our time machine and pucker up, America.
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
Thank you.
♪♪
It's nice to have you here.
♪♪
How are ya?
♪♪
I usually kiss for luck,
but I got involved a couple of times there.
Hello, Jane. Hi, baby.
[ Both moan ] Man: Oh, my...
Oh, now, wait a minute. I don't know if I approve.
Mm. Well, I'm single. I'm single.
Oh, well, okay. And you're single, right?
Is that all right? Sort of.
Sort of? She's sort of single.
[ Applause ]
Man: Let's go. Let's do it.
A little kiss for luck. Alright.
[ Laughter ]
You're not going to faint or anything? Oh, God, no. [ Laughs ]
Alright.
[ Laughter ]
I'm sorry. [ Laughs ]
I hope my husband's watching. [ Laughs ]
Yes! Yes!
Whoo!
Oh!
♪♪
Just wanted to let you know
that we're all second-generation Feuders,
and that back in 1981, the original host, Richard Dawson,
kissed my aunt on the lips,
and she loved it.
And she's a nun now, so... Is she here?
She's right there.
Right there in about the second row. [ Laughs ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
Alright.
Is it my turn? [ Laughs ]
Take that, Richard.
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
So, if you're keeping track,
when Richard Dawson kissed a girl,
she either became [chuckles] his wife or a nun.
One of the two. [ Laughter ]
That's a wide range there, Rich, if you're up there listening.
People ask, "Steve, why don't you kiss all the girls?"
'Cause I get my thrills on my off time.
[ Laughter, applause ]
Sorry, ladies.
Really, I don't kiss girls
'cause my wife says she'll [bleep] me up.
[ Laughter ]
Alright now, but listen, man,
I'm not completely against making somebody's day
if you know what I mean.
[ Cheers and applause ]
I've been watching "Family Feud" a long, long,
long time. You've been waiting on this.
Yes. Every sense. Girl, you're finally here.
Yes. Yes. And I got to tell you. You here.
Yes, and I got to tell you, I've been watching it
since it was Richard Dawson who kissed everybody.
Yeah. Ray Combs, Louie Anderson, Richard Karn, John O'Hurley.
And now it's you, Mr. Steve Harvey,
who I ain't never seen kiss no one.
I got a question for you.
Well...
[ Cheers and applause ]
Richard Dawson used to kiss everybody. Everybody.
But Richard Dawson was the host in a different day and time.
Yes! You put your lips on somebody now,
you ain't gonna have no damn lips. Yes. Yes.
I understand that.
Yes. Yes.
[ Applause ]
Now, go ahead. What you want to know, Ms. Lynette?
I just wanted to ask you, could I be the first?
And we can do it on the hand.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Everybody, stick around.
There's more vintage craziness ahead.
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
Alright, everybody. I'm your man, Steve Harvey.
And this is "The Best of 'Family Feud' --
Decades of Laughs".
You know what? See, people think that being a host is easy.
Right? They think that we don't work hard for a living.
We just need to read cards, give away money, and say,
"We'll be right back."
But you know what? Fine.
So what?
Hell, yeah, it's easy.
[ Laughter ]
Most of the time.
But then there are other times
when a contestant can make you think
that you're actually losing your rabid mind,
or they insult your mustache.
[ Audience groans ]
Or they slap you in your face.
[ Laughter ]
Yes, yes! Oh.
I'm sorry.
[ Laughter ]
Are you okay? I think she broke my hair, Judge. I...
Name something that might get in the way
when you're kissing.
Mustache. Woman: Good answer.
Good answer.
[ Applause ]
Oh, you just gonna stare at me?
You see how she was coming at me there?
"Your damn mustache."
[ Laughter ]
The mustache!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Jennifer, name something that might
[laughing] get in the way when you're kissing.
Big lips.
[ Laughter, applause ]
You don't want 'em slobbering all over your face.
You know?
[ Laughter ]
She [bleep] now.
[ Laughter ]
Dawson: Name something besides soap and a towel
that people take with them to the bath.
A duck.
An occupation that uses...
[ Laughter ]
Survey says.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Name an animal whose legs are featured on a restaurant menu.
[ Laughter ]
[ Shouting ]
We'll be back!
[ Whooping ]
Coming back right after these messages.
Ah! Ah! Don't go away!
Ah!
♪♪
Wait a minute!
Wait! Ah!
[ Cheers and applause ]
I felt bad for Ray Combs right there.
I don't know which is worse -- getting decked by a lady
or getting picked up and juggled by five dudes.
[ Laughter ]
Try that with me, see what happens.
I'd have quit right then and right there.
[ Laughter ]
Come on. Next clip.
Name a word or phrase that starts with "pot."
Pot-ato. Pot-ato.
[ Laughs ]
[ Applause ]
It does.
Why y'all clapping?
[ Laughter ]
Does it start with "pot"? Yes, ma'am. Yes.
No one says pot-tato.
[ Laughter ]
Let's see if it's up there. Pot-tato.
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Whimpering ]
Ray: How much do you weigh, may I say?
About 325.
Okay, I just want to say, I think you look real good, too.
I'm... [ Shouts ]
Ah! Mama! Whoo.
What's the matter? Viki: I need to whisper something in your ear.
Excuse me a second, please.
You want to whisper something? Uh-huh.
What's wrong?
[ Laughter ]
Oh. [ Clears throat ]
Oh, okay then, uh, what we should really do
is stop the taping at this moment.
Do you just have a can?
[ Laughter ]
Steve: We asked 100 men.
Name a part of your body that's bigger than it was
when you were 16.
Your penis.
[Bleep]
[ Laughter ]
[ Buzzer ]
[ Cheers and applause ] Okay, folks, listen.
Alright, let me get something clear here.
I didn't lose it there because the nice lady
answered with penis.
I've heard that word before.
It's the way she shouted it like she was mad at it.
That's what threw me off.
I mean, a man hear that word yelled that way?
He gonna duck and cover.
[ Cheers and applause ]
We'll be right back with the funniest,
most ridiculous "Family Feud" moments
throughout the decades.
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
Welcome back, everybody.
You know, we're looking at the funniest, most ridiculous
"Family Feud" moments throughout the decades.
You know, game show hosts and contestants,
let me tell you something,
they got a very simple contract with one another.
We ask these questions on this card,
and then you answer the question...
on the card.
Then we see if that's the right answer.
Ah, but still, you'd be amazed
how often that doesn't actually happen.
[ Laughter ]
I mean, sometimes you read a question
and the contestants looks you right in the eye
and gives the world's most random answer
to some other question you never even heard of.
[ Laughter ]
Like they just got caught daydreaming in a history class
or something.
That random answer --
it ain't gonna win you no money,
but it just might make you famous, though.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Here's our tribute to the most confused contestants.
Dawson: What do you think is a product
that's designed to wear out in a certain period of time?
An iron.
An appliance? I thought so.
All appliances are up there.
See where the word "appliance" is up there?
That's not an appliance?
Yeah, it is. An iron? Yes. An iron.
Is an appliance.
Well, I thought so. Yeah.
So give me another answer.
Oh, so I give you another answer? Yeah. Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
Freezer.
Name another way people say "mother".
How about Nana?
[ Cheers and applause ]
Nana.
Sheila. What about, Steve, Nana?
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah, you said... what?
What d-- Nana.
Didn't you say Nana?
I did say that, Steve, yes. And I said, "Nana".
Uh-huh. And I said, "Nana".
Well, what are you -- what are you saying?
Stop clapping.
[ Laughter ]
Steve. It's the same word.
They're gonna spell it the same way.
N-A-N-A. You just can't go changing the inflection.
And "Nono" can't be your answer.
[ Laughter ]
What about...Momm-y.
Oh, Momm-y.
Right. Not -- Not Mommy.
Okay, now, let me ask y'all something.
[ Laughter ]
Y'all crazy?
[ Laughter ]
Name a way you can tell that a person is tired
even if they say they're not.
Red eyes. Red eyes.
Hey.
Where you going? Oh.
You know, if he doesn't have the number one thing, though,
you get a chance to...
Don't -- Don't go. Don't leave me like that.
Name an occasion when a husband
should send his wife flowers.
One thing, Ricky, you forgot to hit the buzzer.
You smacked right there. Ricky did like this.
He said...
[ Laughter ]
That's... Real nice, Ricky.
So, Ricky, what position do you play?
Linebacker. Do you wear a helmet, Ricky?
A man might dream of having two wives...
Yes?
[ Laughter ]
Okay, here we go. Let me finish the question.
A man might dream of having two wives,
but then he'll also have two what?
You can't play no more.
[ Laughter ]
"This damn light won't come on."
Name the best cure for insomnia.
Robert. Reading.
Show me reading. Ah.
Three answers can beat it. Give me an answer.
Best cure for insomnia...
Pills. Medication. Yes, yes, I like that.
Show me pills.
You want to pass or play?
Woman: Play, play, play. Play. Play.
Pass. What? What? Play, play, play, play.
[ Laughs ] Play, play, play, play.
Let's go.
Pills you said. Uh-huh.
Let's get it on. Give me Renette.
Give me Terry. Let's go.
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
[ Laughter ]
Sorry.
What do you say?
Something men do when they're having marital troubles.
I say get a divorce, Richard.
Richard? Ray.
Richard?
[ Laughter ]
Give me two people right now.
Let's go. We're playing.
We got Ginny. Ginny's dream come true.
She's o-- Come over here on this side.
There you go. You -- Where --
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
Hey, don't move because this is "The Best of 'Family Feud' --
Decades of Laughs".
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
Alright, everybody, listen, we're checking out
the best clips from "Family Feud" history.
You know, I've done over 2,000 of these shows,
but the most exciting part is...
All: Fast Money!
Alright, so here's the deal --
we've got two people, 200 points,
and it's make or break.
This is the reason people come to play.
It's the kind of money that can really change their lives.
They've already had plans for this money.
In their heart, they've spent it.
So win or lose, people will lose their minds.
[ Cheers and applause ]
A color worn by business executives, you said...
If 47 people agreed, you're gonna take home
5,000 bucks.
Our survey said...
47! You got the cash!
I don't believe it!
Look out. Look out.
He lost his glasses. He lost his glasses.
I said, name something people pick.
You said...
We need 30 people. Survey said...
[ All groan ]
Oh, man.
Here we go. We said name a room in a home.
You need 21 points for $5,000.
You said...
Our survey said...
20. Oh!
[ Buzzer ]
Doug, you didn't make it.
Steve: Name a job that's dirty, but someone has to do it.
A plumber.
Try again. Of course.
A dirty -- Gynecologist.
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
You, my man, are gonna be so famous after this.
You said...
...that.
I can't even repeat it.
[ Laughter ]
Survey said...
[ Buzzer ]
You need 17 points. [ Laughs ]
I love these big finishes.
I asked you the birthday that men dread the most.
You said...
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
If 17 men said that, you got $5,000.
Our survey said...
2. [ Laughs ]
Leland, how you doing, man? How you doing, player?
I'm alright, I'm alright. What do you do, man?
I just started my own video production company.
Okay, cool. That's why I'm here, to get this money.
I need some equipment. I need some equipment, man.
Need some equipment, man. You need that $20,000.
Yes, sir. Help with some equipment.
Yes, sir. Okay, I got you.
I said, "Name a material used to make sexy lingerie."
You said...
43 points to get to the money, man.
Survey said...
[ Cheers and applause ]
Got your -- Got your money, boy!
You got your money, boy!
What did the survey say?
Yes! You have done it!
[ Cheers and applause ] Alright!
[ All screaming ]
Steve: Survey said...
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Get that money, boy!
Get that money, yeah!
Coming up, we've got the best clips
in "Family Feud" history.
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
Well, folks, this is it.
We're wrapping up our celebration.
And an hour is just -- it's just not enough time
to show all the hilarious, embarrassing,
and outright ridiculous things
that have happened on our show year after year.
But I got news for you.
Some of our best clips are still ahead.
Moments that are so crazy, so outrageous, so bizarre,
so dear to us that there's only one thing we can call them.
America, these are our family jewels.
[ Cheers and applause ]
I don't think you should really judge a person
till you walk in their shoes, and so what I'd like to do, Kim,
is trade you shoes right now.
If you wouldn't mind just stepping out here.
Trade me shoes -- I just want to show
that I could appear to be a lot higher
if I could wear high heels like women do.
Let me have your shoes. Put mine on, Kim.
I don't think I -- Put my shoes on, Kim.
[ Laughter ]
There you go. Back with the family.
Back with your family, Kim.
Will I get my shoes back? [ Laughs ]
Alright. I can dig it. Alright.
[ Laughter ]
[ Wolf-whistle ]
I think -- I think I'm ready to -- Oh, my God.
Think I'm ready to get a job at night.
[ Laughter ]
If Grandpa started dating again,
what might he want his dates to be good at?
CPR.
[ Laughter ]
Man: Come on. Come on.
[ Applause ]
Oh, no. CPR.
[ Cheers and applause ]
15 seconds, please.
During what months of pregnancy
does a woman begin to look pregnant?
September.
Something...
[ Laughter ]
Oh.
[ Laughter ]
What month of pregnancy does a woman look pregnant?
September, you said. That's right.
Have you noticed that all women look pregnant in September.
I don't know what it is. [ Laughs ]
Anyway, our survey said...
Ah.
Mo'nique, name something Donald Trump has that's big.
His toupees.
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ] Yes.
His alleged toupees? No, no.
This show is about honesty. His toupees.
Show me [chuckles] his toupees.
Whoa!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Whoo! Whoo!
It's a little more politically correct -- hair. Yeah.
Yeah, toupee.
[ Laughter ]
One answer left. You can clear the board, Q.
Some politicians belong in the White House.
Others belong in the blank house.
Well, Steve, if they're good, they belong in the White House.
[ Applause ] Woman: Good answer. Good answer.
Keep 'em right there.
Yeah, just like that, Dequincy.
[ Laughter ]
Ha-ha! Ah-ha-ha!
Ha-ha!
Oh, that's clever right there.
Oh, they're trying to trick me.
"Listen to me.
Somebody didn't belong in the White House.
Or they belong in the White House." In the White House!
Ha-ha!
That's so damn funny!
Here we go. I'm fittin' to point.
Ready? Hold your breath.
Somebody didn't belong in the White House.
Or they belong in the White House.
In the White House.
[ Applause ]
I was dragging a minute ago.
God saw me having a rough day.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. God decided to lift me up.
Yes. He said, "You need an answer...
Together: Yes.
"...that ain't really our answer." Yes.
"You need an answer..." Yes.
"...that's really a question." Yes.
"I'm gonna answer the question..." Yes.
"...with a question." Yes.
"Some politicians belong..." Yes.
"...in the White House." Yes.
"Others belong..." Yes.
"...in the White House." Yes.
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
So, there you go, America. 47 years and counting.
I'd like to leave you with a little shout-out
to the thousands of families who've shown up to battle,
win some money, and make us all laugh.
So if you want to be a contestant,
gather your family and apply.
If you make it,
promise me you'll listen to the damn questions.
[ Laughter ]
Otherwise...
you'll be headed to the next clip show.
I'm your man, Steve Harvey, everybody.
Good night.
-- Captions by VITAC --
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪