1 00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:08,442 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:13,781 * ALL THE SHADOWS IN THE CITY * 3 00:00:13,881 --> 00:00:17,451 * USED TO LOVE YOU, WHAT A PITY * 4 00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:21,522 * I MISS THE QUESTIONS YOU USED TO ASK ME * 5 00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:25,593 * BORED TO DEATH, CUT, MAD AND LONELY * 6 00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:29,497 * BORED TO DEATH, CUT, MAD AND LONELY * 7 00:00:29,597 --> 00:00:31,632 - ( coughs ) - * BORED TO DEATH 8 00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:34,235 * CUT, MAD AND LONELY. 9 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:38,038 ( whistle blows ) 10 00:01:11,139 --> 00:01:12,406 DO YOU LOVE BOOKS? 11 00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:15,876 OH MY GOD. 12 00:01:15,976 --> 00:01:17,545 SORRY. 13 00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:19,780 ARE YOU DIMITRI? 14 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,282 THAT'S NOT THE CODE. 15 00:01:21,382 --> 00:01:23,384 SORRY. 16 00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:25,286 I LOVE BOOKS AND BOOKS LOVE ME. 17 00:01:25,386 --> 00:01:27,388 BETTER. I'M DIMITRI. 18 00:01:27,488 --> 00:01:29,357 - I'M JONATHAN AMES. - I KNOW. 19 00:01:29,457 --> 00:01:33,060 THANK YOU FOR SUGGESTING THAT I BRING GOGOL'S "THE NOSE." 20 00:01:33,161 --> 00:01:35,529 IN ADDITION TO BEING A PRIVATE DETECTIVE, 21 00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:38,132 I'M ALSO DOING SOME WRITING ON THE SIDE 22 00:01:38,232 --> 00:01:40,501 AND I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED NOVELS. 23 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:41,969 ME TOO. 24 00:01:42,069 --> 00:01:43,971 TURGENEV, DOSTOEVSKY, GOGOL-- 25 00:01:44,071 --> 00:01:46,474 THESE WERE MY CELLMATES IN PRISON. 26 00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:48,476 THEY KEPT ME ALIVE FOR THREE YEARS. 27 00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:50,544 PRISON? WHY WERE YOU IN PRISON? 28 00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:53,814 IT'S NOT IMPORTANT. LET'S SIT AND TALK. 29 00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:07,428 I NEED YOU TO FIND A WOMAN. 30 00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:10,398 THAT'S MY SPECIALTY. I'VE FOUND SEVERAL. 31 00:02:10,498 --> 00:02:12,900 GOOD. SHE IS THE GREAT LOVE OF MY LIFE. 32 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,802 SHE IS ALL I THOUGHT ABOUT IN PRISON. 33 00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:17,171 HOW LONG WERE YOU WITH HER? 34 00:02:17,271 --> 00:02:18,772 ONE NIGHT. 35 00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,073 JUST ONE NIGHT? 36 00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:22,243 ONE NIGHT, IF THE LOVE IS PERFECT, 37 00:02:22,343 --> 00:02:24,445 IS ALL YOU NEED. 38 00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:26,980 ALSO I WAS ARRESTED THE NEXT DAY. 39 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,082 WE MET IN BRIGHTON BEACH-- 40 00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:32,085 VERY ROMANTIC. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN THERE? 41 00:02:32,186 --> 00:02:34,822 NO, MY GIRLFRIEND SUZANNE ALWAYS WANTED TO GO 42 00:02:34,922 --> 00:02:37,458 TO ONE OF THOSE NIGHTCLUBS OUT THERE BUT WE NEVER DID. 43 00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:39,293 AND THEN SHE BROKE UP WITH ME. 44 00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:41,929 OF COURSE. BECAUSE YOU DON'T TAKE HER WHERE SHE WANTS TO GO. 45 00:02:42,029 --> 00:02:43,964 SO WHAT DID YOU OFFER HER TO STAY-- 46 00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:46,700 DIAMONDS, GOLD, A CAR WITH SUNROOF? 47 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,470 NO, I JUST BEGGED. 48 00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:51,138 AND I... 49 00:02:51,239 --> 00:02:52,506 CRIED? 50 00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:53,907 A LITTLE. 51 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,644 GOOD. IT'S NATURAL. 52 00:02:56,744 --> 00:02:58,679 BUT ALSO IF YOU WANT TO KEEP A WOMAN, 53 00:02:58,779 --> 00:02:59,780 YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG. 54 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:03,717 WOMEN NEED US TO BE COMMANDING AND DECISIVE. 55 00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:05,185 BUT DO THEY? 56 00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:07,588 I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE THEY DO. 57 00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,257 THEY DO. 58 00:03:09,357 --> 00:03:11,725 SO MY WOMAN-- 59 00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:14,194 I DON'T KNOW HER REAL NAME, 60 00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:16,297 ONLY HER STAGE NAME-- 61 00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:19,567 IRENNA, THE LONELY WHITE DOVE. 62 00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:22,736 SHE WAS A SINGER AT CAFE TATIANA. 63 00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:24,405 I WANT YOU TO GO THERE. 64 00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:26,407 I'M HAPPY TO GO TO THIS CLUB FOR YOU, 65 00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:29,310 BUT WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO? IT'LL SAVE YOU MY FEE. 66 00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:31,979 MY PAROLE OFFICER WON'T LET ME OUT AT NIGHT. 67 00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:33,747 THAT'S WHY I FIND YOU ON CRAIGSLIST. 68 00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:36,884 ALSO I GOT APARTMENT, EXERCISE BICYCLE, 69 00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:39,086 AND YOU-- MY OWN PRIVATE DETECTIVE. 70 00:03:39,186 --> 00:03:41,922 I'M YOUR MAN THEN. I'LL GO TO TATIANA. 71 00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:44,858 SPASIBO. 72 00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:46,894 PLEASE FIND MY WOMAN. 73 00:03:57,638 --> 00:04:00,841 DO YOU THINK I LOST SUZANNE BECAUSE I DIDN'T TAKE HER PLACES 74 00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:04,278 OR DO YOU THINK I LOST HER BECAUSE I WAS INDECISIVE? 75 00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:06,079 PROBABLY BOTH. 76 00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:08,782 BUT I CAN'T THINK ABOUT YOUR FAILED RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW. 77 00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:12,353 I HAVE TO TELL YOU, I'M IN A BAD WAY, JONATHAN. 78 00:04:12,453 --> 00:04:13,621 WHY? WHAT'S GOING ON? 79 00:04:13,721 --> 00:04:15,656 THE MAGAZINE'S NUMBERS ARE WAY DOWN-- 80 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:18,225 NEWSSTAND, SUBSCRIPTIONS, ADVERTISING. 81 00:04:18,326 --> 00:04:21,362 IT'S VERY BLEAK AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT. 82 00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:23,531 IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. ALL MAGAZINES ARE DYING. 83 00:04:23,631 --> 00:04:25,699 YES YES, BUT A FEW WILL SURVIVE. 84 00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:28,636 IT'S DARWINIAN. SEE, WE NEED TO ADAPT. 85 00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:30,203 I NEED TO ADAPT. 86 00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:32,806 OUR BIGGEST PROBLEM IS OUR FEMALE DEMOGRAPHIC. 87 00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:37,044 SEE, WE'VE LOST OVER 37% OF OUR WOMEN READERS. 88 00:04:37,144 --> 00:04:39,347 - THAT IS A LOT OF WOMEN. - I KNOW. 89 00:04:39,447 --> 00:04:42,350 SO WHAT'S THE PLAN-- HIRE MORE WOMEN WRITERS? 90 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,953 THAT'S A GOOD IDEA, ACTUALLY. 91 00:04:46,053 --> 00:04:49,457 THAT'LL BE THE SECOND STEP. THE FIRST STEP, THOUGH, IS TO CHANGE ME. 92 00:04:49,557 --> 00:04:52,993 SEE, IF I'M RIGHT, THE MAGAZINE WILL BE RIGHT. 93 00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:54,762 BUT HOW ARE YOU GOING TO CHANGE? 94 00:04:54,862 --> 00:04:58,766 YOU TOLD ME ONCE THAT AFTER THE AGE OF 55 IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO CHANGE. 95 00:04:58,866 --> 00:05:02,336 THAT'S WHY MY THERAPIST IS SUGGESTING SOMETHING RADICAL. 96 00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:04,838 HE WANTS ME TO EXPERIMENT WITH BISEXUALITY. 97 00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:06,206 WHAT? 98 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,275 MR. CHRISTOPHER, I NEED TO CLEAN IN HERE. 99 00:05:08,376 --> 00:05:10,644 YES, OF COURSE. YES, OF COURSE. 100 00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:12,546 SORRY. 101 00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:21,522 HE SAYS IT WILL HELP ME APPEAL TO WOMEN READERS, 102 00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:24,858 PUT ME IN TOUCH WITH MY FEMININE SIDE. 103 00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:27,428 - YOUR THERAPIST SOUNDS CRAZY. - I KNOW, I KNOW. 104 00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:30,564 BUT MOST THERAPISTS ARE. THAT'S WHAT GIVES THEM INSIGHT. 105 00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:33,701 - THIS IS INSANE. - WHAT CAN I SAY, JONATHAN? 106 00:05:33,801 --> 00:05:36,704 I AM DESPERATE TO HELP THE MAGAZINE. I'M WILLING TO TRY ANYTHING. 107 00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:38,872 BUT IF YOU EXPERIMENT WITH BISEXUALITY 108 00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:41,642 YOU'LL JUST BE MORE GAY, NOT NECESSARILY MORE FEMININE. 109 00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:42,643 THAT'S FINE. 110 00:05:42,743 --> 00:05:44,912 I MEAN, WHO DESIGNS WOMEN'S CLOTHING? 111 00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,146 GAY MEN. 112 00:05:46,246 --> 00:05:48,482 WHO DO WOMEN FIND ATTRACTIVE? GAY MEN. 113 00:05:48,582 --> 00:05:51,018 WHO WRITES WOMEN'S TV SHOWS? 114 00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:54,087 GAY MEN. 115 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:56,123 I REALLY THINK IT'S MY ONLY CHOICE. 116 00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:57,891 BUT HAVE YOU EVER EXPERIMENTED BEFORE? 117 00:05:57,991 --> 00:06:00,861 NO, BUT I DO HAVE AN OPEN MIND ABOUT THE WHOLE THING. 118 00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:05,232 YOU KNOW, LAURENCE OLIVIER AND DANNY KAYE WERE LOVERS. 119 00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:07,167 - REALLY? - MM-HMM, YEAH. 120 00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:10,370 AND ODDLY ENOUGH THEY'RE MY TWO FAVORITE ACTORS OF ALL TIME. 121 00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:13,707 THEY WERE LIKE TWO SIDES OF THIS STRANGE COIN-- 122 00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,709 HAMLET AND THE COURT JESTER. 123 00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:19,146 THE DARK PRINCE AND THE TECHNICOLOR CLOWN. 124 00:06:19,246 --> 00:06:20,614 IT'S AMAZING. 125 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:23,917 IT'S HARD TO IMAGINE THEM AS LOVERS. 126 00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:26,219 SORRY TO PUT THIS IN OLD-FASHIONED TERMS, 127 00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:28,722 BUT WHO DO YOU THINK PLAYED THE WOMAN IN THE RELATIONSHIP? 128 00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:31,124 DANNY KAYE. HE COULD DO A LOT OF ACCENTS. 129 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:34,795 THIS WAY OLIVIER COULD HAVE A DIFFERENT WOMAN EVERY NIGHT. 130 00:06:46,306 --> 00:06:49,743 ( fast dance music playing ) 131 00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:53,547 ( people laughing, chattering ) 132 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:04,157 I'LL HAVE A WHITE WINE. 133 00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:15,903 I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD HELP ME. 134 00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:20,207 I'M LOOKING FOR A SINGER-- IRENNA, THE LONELY WHITE DOVE. 135 00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,723 I DON'T KNOW IF YOU GENTLEMEN HEARD MY QUESTION, 136 00:07:35,823 --> 00:07:38,992 BUT I'M LOOKING FOR IRENNA, THE LONELY WHITE DOVE? 137 00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:40,894 YOU'RE A TOURIST? 138 00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:43,964 NO NO, NOT EXACTLY. I LIVE IN BROOKLYN. 139 00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:46,366 THEN COME SIT DOWN, HAVE A GOOD RUSSIAN MEAL-- 140 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,969 VODKA, CAVIAR, 141 00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:51,238 BLINI, SEMGA. 142 00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:56,143 ( woman singing in Russian ) 143 00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:05,085 EXCUSE ME, WHO IS THAT BEAUTIFUL SINGER? 144 00:08:06,754 --> 00:08:08,656 OH, THAT IS BASHA. YOU HAVE NO CHANCE. 145 00:08:08,756 --> 00:08:10,490 SHE'S NOT INTERESTED IN PENIS. 146 00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:12,492 SHE'S A SAPPHO. 147 00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:14,227 OH, I'M NOT-- I DIDN'T MEAN-- 148 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,996 DO YOU KNOW, IS THERE A SINGER HERE 149 00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:18,431 NAMED IRENNA, THE LONELY WHITE DOVE? 150 00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:20,100 HER OLD BOYFRIEND IS LOOKING FOR HER. 151 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:23,336 WE DON'T HAVE A LONELY DOVE. WE HAVE A LONELY SPARROW. 152 00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:25,205 SHE SINGS TOMORROW. 153 00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:27,140 GREAT. THANK YOU. 154 00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:30,678 OH, THANK YOU. 155 00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:36,183 - NA ZDOROVIE! - NA ZDOROVIE! 156 00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:45,125 IS VODKA REALLY MADE FROM POTATOES? 157 00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:19,660 ( groans ) 158 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,729 I'M REALLY HUNG-OVER FROM THAT VODKA. 159 00:09:21,829 --> 00:09:23,296 YOU GOTTA WRITE SOMETHING. 160 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:24,898 I DO MY BEST WORK HUNG-OVER. 161 00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:27,701 I HAVE LESS BRAIN CELLS TO CONFUSE THE ISSUE. 162 00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:30,370 I DID THIS YESTERDAY MORNING 163 00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:32,706 RIGHT AFTER I BARFED ALL OVER THE PLACE. 164 00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:34,808 YOU'RE NOT THAT BIG. 165 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:38,846 IN MY MIND I AM-- HUGE BUT UNDERUSED. 166 00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:40,714 WHAT ARE YOU DRAWING THIS FOR? 167 00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:43,316 IT'S A STORY ABOUT BEING A SPERM DONOR TO LISA AND MICHELLE, 168 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,385 AND HOW LEAH WON'T SLEEP WITH ME. 169 00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:47,387 THIS EDITOR AT "ESQUIRE" IS REALLY INTO IT. 170 00:09:47,487 --> 00:09:49,356 REALLY GREAT WORK. 171 00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:52,525 I'M SORRY, I FEEL SO SICK. 172 00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:54,728 LET'S GO GET A DRINK RIGHT NOW. 173 00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:57,264 OH, QUIT KIDDING AROUND. I GOTTA DRINK MORE TONIGHT. 174 00:09:57,364 --> 00:09:58,899 I'M GOING BACK TO THAT CLUB. 175 00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:02,936 I'M SUPPOSED TO FIND OUT IF THE LONELY SPARROW IS IRENNA. 176 00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:06,674 ACTUALLY I HAD A REALLY FUN TIME THERE LAST NIGHT. 177 00:10:06,774 --> 00:10:09,476 I CAN'T BELIEVE I NEVER TOOK SUZANNE TO BRIGHTON BEACH. 178 00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:12,545 WHY DON'T YOU TAKE SUZANNE TONIGHT, YOU KNOW? 179 00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:14,447 YOU GUYS HAVEN'T HAD ANY BREAKUP SEX, RIGHT? 180 00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:16,249 IT'S BEEN A COUPLE OF MONTHS. 181 00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:18,585 YOU'RE DUE. 182 00:10:18,686 --> 00:10:20,087 MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT. 183 00:10:20,187 --> 00:10:22,122 IF YOU DO CALL HER, MAYBE LEAH AND I COULD GO WITH YOU. 184 00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:24,057 TONIGHT WE'RE SUPPOSED TO WORK ON OUR INTIMACY ISSUES. 185 00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:27,060 BUT IF THE FOUR OF US GO, THAT'S NOT VERY INTIMATE. 186 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:29,763 YEAH, BUT IF YOU GO WE WON'T FIGHT, 187 00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:32,632 AND THAT'S REALLY GOOD FOR INTIMACY. 188 00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:36,136 ( groans ) 189 00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:38,138 ( groans ) 190 00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:40,207 MI VIDA LOCA. 191 00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:45,278 ( phone rings ) 192 00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:49,382 ( sighs ) HELLO. 193 00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:51,819 SUZANNE, IT'S JONATHAN. 194 00:10:51,919 --> 00:10:54,321 I know. What's going on? 195 00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:56,123 FIRST OF ALL, I JUST WANT TO SAY 196 00:10:56,223 --> 00:10:57,958 I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED 197 00:10:58,058 --> 00:11:00,327 THE LAST TIME I SAW YOU WITH YOUR AL-ANON FRIEND. 198 00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:01,561 LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT IT. 199 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,697 Well, I want to make it up you. 200 00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:05,699 You know how we never went to Brighton Beach 201 00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:07,868 because I thought it was too long a subway ride? 202 00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:11,504 WELL, YOU AND I ARE GOING OUT THERE TONIGHT. 203 00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:14,541 THAT'S RIGHT. I FOUND THIS GREAT PLACE. 204 00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:17,244 WE'LL EAT DINNER, DRINKS, DANCING. 205 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,279 YOU KNOW I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU DRINKING. 206 00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:21,248 I WAS TALKING ABOUT WATER. 207 00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:23,784 WE'LL DRINK WATER AFTER WE DANCE TO REHYDRATE. 208 00:11:23,884 --> 00:11:25,418 WHAT IS THIS ABOUT? 209 00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:28,121 Nothing. I'm just feeling really... 210 00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:30,590 DECISIVE, YOU KNOW? 211 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,059 I WANT YOU TO HAVE 212 00:11:32,159 --> 00:11:33,994 THE BRIGHTON BEACH NIGHT I NEVER GAVE YOU. 213 00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:36,997 I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD BE GOING ON A DATE, JONATHAN. 214 00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:39,432 IT'S NOT A DATE. IT'S PLATONIC. 215 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:40,968 DANCING IS PLATONIC? 216 00:11:41,068 --> 00:11:42,736 Yes, dancing is platonic. 217 00:11:42,836 --> 00:11:45,973 We'll stay 3' apart from each other the whole night, I promise. 218 00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:48,909 AND THERE'S GONNA BE LOTS OF PEOPLE THERE-- RAY AND LEAH... 219 00:11:49,009 --> 00:11:51,111 ( speaks gibberish ) 220 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,746 Lots of people. 221 00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:55,849 WELL, I GUESS I DID ALWAYS WANT TO GO. 222 00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:57,851 WE DON'T EVEN HAVE TO SIT NEXT TO EACH OTHER. 223 00:11:57,951 --> 00:11:59,820 I'LL SIT ACROSS THE ROOM THE WHOLE NIGHT 224 00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:02,489 SENDING YOU PLATONIC LOVE NOTES. 225 00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:05,826 WHAT'S A PLATONIC LOVE NOTE? 226 00:12:07,795 --> 00:12:09,797 I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE YOU AND ME. 227 00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:11,799 WELL, JONATHAN KNEW WHERE THIS PLACE WAS 228 00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:13,867 AND IT JUST SEEMED EASIER IF WE ALL CAME TOGETHER. 229 00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:16,436 PLUS, HE SPLIT THE CAR SERVICE WITH ME. 230 00:12:16,536 --> 00:12:20,573 IF IT MEANT BEING ALONE I COULD HAVE PAID FOR THE CAR. 231 00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:23,210 WELL, TONIGHT IS ON ME... AND JONATHAN. 232 00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:25,312 OH, GOOD. 233 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:30,517 A LITTLE BIT OF POTATO SAUCE. 234 00:12:30,617 --> 00:12:32,419 THANK YOU. 235 00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:38,826 ( makes zapping noises ) 236 00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:40,727 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 237 00:12:40,828 --> 00:12:44,064 I'M ZAPPING IT LIKE ICEMAN FROM THE X-MEN SERIES. 238 00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:46,299 REMEMBER I DREW THEM FOR MARVEL? 239 00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:49,803 CAN WE PLEASE NOT TALK ABOUT COMICS FOR ONE NIGHT? 240 00:12:49,903 --> 00:12:54,141 OKAY, TO THE PRETTIEST GIRL IN BRIGHTON BEACH. 241 00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:56,343 THAT'S BETTER. 242 00:12:57,577 --> 00:12:59,279 A KISS. 243 00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:03,483 HI, LEAH. HEY, RAY. 244 00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:05,618 - HEY, WANT SOME VODKA? - OKAY. 245 00:13:05,718 --> 00:13:08,021 I THOUGHT THERE WOULD BE MORE PEOPLE HERE. 246 00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,589 I THOUGHT THERE WOULD BE LESS. 247 00:13:09,689 --> 00:13:12,525 WELL, WE DON'T KNOW THESE PEOPLE YET, BUT YOU'LL SEE, 248 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:15,228 PRETTY SOON THIS PLACE IS GONNA BE LIKE A BIG RUSSIAN WEDDING. 249 00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:17,464 BY THE END WE'RE ALL GONNA KNOW EACH OTHER PRETTY WELL. 250 00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:21,768 UNLIMITED VODKA HERE-- THIS IS WHERE THE VALUE IS. 251 00:13:21,869 --> 00:13:24,337 TO THE DRUG CZAR. 252 00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:28,141 CHEERS. 253 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,479 I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T DRINKING TONIGHT. 254 00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:35,115 OH, WELL, 255 00:13:35,215 --> 00:13:36,950 IT WAS JUST A CELEBRATORY TOAST. 256 00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:40,587 YOU KNOW, WHEN IN MOSCOW... 257 00:13:40,687 --> 00:13:42,489 I'LL SWITCH TO WATER NOW. 258 00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:43,623 SO TO WATER. 259 00:13:43,723 --> 00:13:46,426 TO WATER. 260 00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:51,364 Ray: OH, THAT'S GOOD. 261 00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:52,699 LET'S ALL DANCE. 262 00:13:52,799 --> 00:13:54,334 THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. 263 00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:56,436 NO, MY TOES ARE ALL FUSED. MY TOES ARE FUSED. 264 00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:58,906 COME ON, DON'T BE A BABY. 265 00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:03,276 IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE WE DANCED TOGETHER. 266 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:11,851 SIR. 267 00:14:11,952 --> 00:14:16,656 I KNOW I SAID WE WOULD ONLY DANCE 3' APART BUT... 268 00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:18,858 IS 2' OKAY? 269 00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:22,829 YEAH, I GUESS 2' IS OKAY. 270 00:14:22,930 --> 00:14:24,797 ISN'T THIS FUN? 271 00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:27,234 YEAH, IT REALLY IS. 272 00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:31,271 YOU CAN COME CLOSER IF YOU WANT. 273 00:14:32,739 --> 00:14:34,541 REALLY? 274 00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:46,619 Man: EVERYONE PLEASE SIT DOWN. 275 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,621 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 276 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:51,424 WELCOME TO THE STAGE 277 00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:57,164 NADYA, THE LONELY SPARROW. 278 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:12,045 * THE FALLING LEAVES 279 00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:16,416 * DRIFT BY THE WINDOW 280 00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:20,620 * THE AUTUMN LEAVES 281 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:24,857 * OF RED AND GOLD... 282 00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:27,794 I THINK THAT'S THE WOMAN I'M LOOKING FOR. 283 00:15:27,894 --> 00:15:30,297 SHE IS BEAUTIFUL. 284 00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:32,065 WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT? 285 00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:34,101 SORRY, DO YOU KNOW HER? 286 00:15:34,201 --> 00:15:37,337 NO NO, NOT AT ALL. NOT YET. 287 00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:39,039 IT'S COMPLICATED. 288 00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:41,608 ( phone buzzing ) 289 00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:43,776 OH SHIT. IT'S GEORGE. 290 00:15:43,876 --> 00:15:46,079 I'M SORRY, I HAVE TO TAKE THIS. 291 00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:48,948 BUT YOU'RE HAVING FUN HERE, RIGHT? 292 00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:50,717 WE'RE IN BRIGHTON BEACH. 293 00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:52,885 I'M SORRY. 294 00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:56,123 HELLO, GEORGE. 295 00:15:56,223 --> 00:15:58,658 WAIT, HOLD ON. IT'S LOUD HERE. 296 00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:02,862 SORRY, GEORGE. WHAT'S UP? 297 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:05,665 WHAT IF I DO THIS AND I DON'T COME BACK? 298 00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:06,966 What do you mean? 299 00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:09,269 THAT I TURN COMPLETELY GAY. 300 00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:12,439 WELL, THEN IT WAS MEANT TO BE. 301 00:16:14,107 --> 00:16:17,877 YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. 302 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,412 I HAVE TO REMEMBER 303 00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:21,348 THAT IT HELPED JANN WENNER'S CAREER. 304 00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:24,684 All his magazines thrived after he became homosexual-- 305 00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:26,386 really boosted sales. 306 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,355 THANK YOU. 307 00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:31,991 OKAY, SO... 308 00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:34,794 DO YOU KNOW HOW I COULD FIND A MALE ESCORT? 309 00:16:34,894 --> 00:16:36,229 NO, I DON'T KNOW. 310 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:37,930 Sorry, what? The reception is bad here. 311 00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:39,866 I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIND A MALE ESCORT. 312 00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:42,335 - WELL, YOU SHOULD KNOW THESE THINGS. - No, I shouldn't. 313 00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:45,138 LOOK, JUST GOOGLE "MALE ESCORT NEW YORK CITY." 314 00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:46,473 Wait, I can't hear you. 315 00:16:46,573 --> 00:16:49,409 THE RECEPTION IS TERRIBLE. IS IT ME OR YOU? 316 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:51,010 Just Google 317 00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:53,413 "MALE ESCORT NEW YORK CITY." 318 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:56,983 ACTUALLY, GOOGLE "GAY MALE ESCORT 319 00:16:57,084 --> 00:16:59,619 NEW YORK CITY." 320 00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:02,489 GEORGE, I'VE GOTTA GO. I'M AT A RUSSIAN NIGHTCLUB. 321 00:17:02,589 --> 00:17:05,625 A RUSSIAN NIGHTCLUB? HEY, I WANT TO GO. 322 00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:07,594 SORRY ABOUT THAT. 323 00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:10,630 MY FRIEND JUST-- NEVER MIND. 324 00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:12,399 YOU GUYS WORK HERE, RIGHT? 325 00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:13,866 CAN YOU TELL ME-- 326 00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:15,502 DID NADYA THE LONELY SPARROW 327 00:17:15,602 --> 00:17:18,605 USE TO BE IRENNA THE LONELY WHITE DOVE? 328 00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,273 WHY YOU WANT TO KNOW SO MUCH? 329 00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:22,909 LAST NIGHT YOU TOLD WAITRESS 330 00:17:23,009 --> 00:17:26,246 A BOYFRIEND IS LOOKING FOR THE LONELY DOVE. 331 00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:28,781 WHO'S THE BOYFRIEND? WHO YOU WORK FOR? 332 00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:31,551 NOBODY. LOOK, LET'S JUST FORGET IT. 333 00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:33,386 I'VE FORGOTTEN IT. 334 00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:36,089 SO I'M JUST GOING TO GO BACK INSIDE. 335 00:17:36,189 --> 00:17:37,324 YOU ARE A FOOL. 336 00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:39,359 HEY. OW. DON'T TOUCH ME. 337 00:17:39,459 --> 00:17:41,528 WAIT WAIT WAIT. MY FRIENDS ARE INSIDE, OKAY? 338 00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:44,297 I'VE ALREADY PAID FOR TWO MEALS-- $38. 339 00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,199 DON'T EVER COME IN HERE AGAIN. 340 00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:48,501 - WHAT ABOUT MY FRIENDS? - FUCK FRIENDS. 341 00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:51,504 HEY, COME ON, GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME. 342 00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:54,507 IF WE SEE YOU HERE AGAIN WE WILL BREAK YOU. 343 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:03,383 SHIT. SHIT. 344 00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:07,654 YOU WORK FOR DIMITRI? 345 00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:09,789 HE'S MY FRIEND. 346 00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:11,924 SHE WANTS YOU TO CALL HER-- 347 00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:16,229 THE GIRL, THE SINGER, IRENNA. 348 00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:18,431 - CALL HER TOMORROW, EH? - WHO ARE YOU? 349 00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:20,333 I CANNOT TALK TO YOU. IT'S NOT SAFE FOR ME. 350 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,369 WAIT, CAN YOU HELP ME GET BACK IN THERE? 351 00:18:22,469 --> 00:18:24,837 MY GIRLFRIEND'S IN THERE. 352 00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:40,220 I SAY IN THE AD THAT I'M AN UNLICENSED PRIVATE DETECTIVE, 353 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,055 WHICH MAKES IT MORE LEGAL, SORT OF. 354 00:18:43,156 --> 00:18:46,559 ANYWAY, THE GUY I'M WORKING FOR IS AN EX-CON, 355 00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:49,862 BUT HE'S A REAL ROMANTIC AND I'M TRYING TO HELP HIM. 356 00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:53,733 ARE YOU GUYS LISTENING TO ME? 357 00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,535 I'M LISTENING. 358 00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:56,903 THANK YOU, RAY. 359 00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:59,206 JONATHAN, YOU'VE GOT TO UNDERSTAND THIS FROM MY PERSPECTIVE. 360 00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:00,940 I THOUGHT THAT TONIGHT WAS GONNA BE 361 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,142 THE BRIGHTON BEACH NIGHT THAT WE NEVER HAD. 362 00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:04,844 REMEMBER THAT'S WHAT YOU TOLD ME? 363 00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:06,846 AND I STUPIDLY BELIEVED YOU. 364 00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:09,516 INSTEAD YOU DRINK VODKA AND YOU LEAVE ME ALONE 365 00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:11,684 WHILE YOU CHASE AFTER SOME RUSSIAN SINGER 366 00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:14,120 BECAUSE YOU'RE INVESTIGATING A CASE. 367 00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:16,155 BUT I WAS DOING IT IN THE NAME OF LOVE-- 368 00:19:16,256 --> 00:19:17,724 SOMEBODY ELSE'S LOVE BUT-- 369 00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:19,826 YOU WEREN'T DOING THIS FOR ANYBODY ELSE BUT YOU. 370 00:19:19,926 --> 00:19:23,930 YOU'RE SELFISH. YOU LIVE IN A SELFISH FANTASY WORLD. 371 00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:25,465 SUZANNE, PLEASE-- 372 00:19:25,565 --> 00:19:28,268 PLEASE JUST DO ME ONE FAVOR AND DON'T TALK TO ME. 373 00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:30,870 THE NEXT SUBWAY, PLEASE, SIR. 374 00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:35,942 AT LEAST IT WASN'T ME THIS TIME, RIGHT, BABY? 375 00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:40,813 OW. HEY. 376 00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:43,950 HEY, LOOK, FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, I'M ON YOUR SIDE. 377 00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:46,419 ( seagulls cawing ) 378 00:19:55,127 --> 00:19:56,162 IRENNA? 379 00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:59,599 YES. AND YOU'RE THE PRIVATE COP? 380 00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,834 YES, OR DETECTIVE OR INVESTIGATOR. 381 00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:03,303 THEY ALL WORK. 382 00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:06,373 THANK YOU FOR COMING. I DON'T LIKE THE PHONE. 383 00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:09,141 IT'S OKAY. IT'S BEAUTIFUL HERE. 384 00:20:09,242 --> 00:20:13,413 SO LET ME MAKE SURE I GOT THINGS STRAIGHT-- 385 00:20:13,513 --> 00:20:16,516 YOU USED TO SING AS THE LONELY WHITE DOVE. IS THAT RIGHT? 386 00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:17,550 YES. 387 00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:19,252 WHY DID YOU SWITCH TO THE LONELY SPARROW? 388 00:20:19,352 --> 00:20:21,821 I LIKE BIRDS. 389 00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:23,990 EVERY YEAR I'M A NEW BIRD 390 00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:25,625 AND ALWAYS A LONELY BIRD. 391 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:28,227 MAYBE YOU WON'T HAVE TO BE LONELY ANYMORE. 392 00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:30,062 DIMITRI HIRED ME TO FIND YOU. 393 00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:32,599 WHY? 394 00:20:32,699 --> 00:20:35,435 BECAUSE HE'S IN LOVE WITH YOU. 395 00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:39,872 HE IS STILL IN PRISON? 396 00:20:39,972 --> 00:20:40,940 NO. 397 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,376 HE'S OUT AND WANTS TO SEE YOU. 398 00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:45,912 DO YOU WANT TO SEE HIM? 399 00:20:49,282 --> 00:20:53,486 YES, I WANT TO SEE HIM VERY MUCH. 400 00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:57,557 THANK YOU VERY MUCH, MY LITTLE DETECTIVE. 401 00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:15,942 MY-- MY THERAPIST SUGGESTED I TRY THIS-- 402 00:21:16,042 --> 00:21:18,110 MEDICAL ADVICE, REALLY. 403 00:21:18,210 --> 00:21:19,479 YOU'RE COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET? 404 00:21:19,579 --> 00:21:23,282 WELL, NO, NOT EXACTLY. 405 00:21:23,383 --> 00:21:26,085 NO, SEE, I'M TRYING TO GET IN TOUCH 406 00:21:26,185 --> 00:21:28,821 WITH THE FEMININE SIDE OF MY NATURE. 407 00:21:28,921 --> 00:21:31,724 YOU SEE, I'M-- 408 00:21:31,824 --> 00:21:33,360 I RUN A MAGAZINE. 409 00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:36,696 AND WE'VE LOST NEARLY HALF OF OUR WOMEN READERS 410 00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:40,400 AND I'VE GOT TO REACH THEM SOMEHOW. 411 00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:42,301 AND YOU THINK THAT THIS WILL HELP YOU? 412 00:21:42,402 --> 00:21:44,103 MAYBE. YOU KNOW, I'M JUST-- 413 00:21:44,203 --> 00:21:46,172 I WANT TO OPEN MY MIND. 414 00:21:46,272 --> 00:21:49,876 IF YOU WANT TO OPEN YOUR MIND, 415 00:21:49,976 --> 00:21:52,612 DON'T THINK IN TERMS OF MALE AND FEMALE. 416 00:21:52,712 --> 00:21:55,014 I MEAN, IT'S BINARY. IT'S BORING. 417 00:21:55,114 --> 00:21:56,749 HOW ABOUT NO DEFINITIONS? 418 00:21:56,849 --> 00:21:58,851 HAVE YOU READ KLAUS KINSKI'S MEMOIR? 419 00:21:58,951 --> 00:22:01,320 I HAVEN'T. 420 00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:04,290 YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT WERNER HERZOG'S MUSE? 421 00:22:04,391 --> 00:22:07,794 YEAH. KINSKI COULD FUCK OR GET FUCKED. 422 00:22:07,894 --> 00:22:09,529 IT DIDN'T MATTER. HE DID WHAT HE WANTED TO. 423 00:22:09,629 --> 00:22:11,931 HE DEFINED HIMSELF. HE WAS ALL SEXES, 424 00:22:12,031 --> 00:22:13,633 BEYOND DEFINITION. 425 00:22:13,733 --> 00:22:16,636 YOU WANT YOUR MAGAZINE TO DO BETTER? 426 00:22:16,736 --> 00:22:20,072 TRY TO BE LIKE KLAUS KINSKI. 427 00:22:20,172 --> 00:22:23,910 HAVE YOU READ A WOODY ALLEN STORY "THE WHORES OF MENSA"? 428 00:22:24,010 --> 00:22:25,412 I HAVEN'T. 429 00:22:25,512 --> 00:22:27,714 BUT I LOVE WOODY'S PROSE EVEN MORE THAN HIS MOVIES. 430 00:22:27,814 --> 00:22:29,181 ( laughs ) 431 00:22:29,281 --> 00:22:31,451 SO... 432 00:22:33,085 --> 00:22:34,854 YOU WANT TO GIVE THIS A TRY? 433 00:22:34,954 --> 00:22:39,492 I MEAN, I THINK THAT YOU'RE A GOOD-LOOKING GUY, 434 00:22:39,592 --> 00:22:42,429 KIND OF LIKE A BUFF SAMUEL BECKETT. 435 00:22:45,832 --> 00:22:48,501 SO I'M ESCORTING DIMITRI TO TATIANA'S TONIGHT. 436 00:22:48,601 --> 00:22:50,369 AND HE SAYS HE NEEDS ME TO BE HIS BACKUP, 437 00:22:50,470 --> 00:22:52,338 ESPECIALLY SINCE HE'S BREAKING PAROLE. 438 00:22:52,439 --> 00:22:53,873 - HE SAID "BACKUP"? - YEAH. 439 00:22:53,973 --> 00:22:56,308 - THAT SOUNDS DANGEROUS. - HE EXPLAINED 440 00:22:56,409 --> 00:22:57,977 THAT IT'S MORE OF A RUSSIAN WINGMAN POSITION. 441 00:22:58,077 --> 00:23:00,046 - AND I'M AN EXCELLENT WINGMAN. - I DON'T KNOW. 442 00:23:00,146 --> 00:23:02,749 I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE EVER GOTTEN INVOLVED WITH THIS GUY. 443 00:23:02,849 --> 00:23:05,284 LEAH'S STILL MAD THAT I TOOK HER TO THAT CLUB LAST NIGHT. 444 00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:07,153 IT RUINED OUR FIRST DATE IN THREE MONTHS. 445 00:23:07,253 --> 00:23:08,788 I KNOW. I AM SORRY, RAY. 446 00:23:08,888 --> 00:23:10,457 SHE SHOULDN'T BE MAD AT YOU. IT'S MY FAULT. 447 00:23:10,557 --> 00:23:12,425 YEAH, IT IS YOUR FAULT. 448 00:23:12,525 --> 00:23:14,527 AND NOW TO MAKE UP FOR LAST NIGHT'S DISASTER 449 00:23:14,627 --> 00:23:17,464 I'M DOING TIMED MASSAGES. IT'S AN INTIMACY EXERCISE. 450 00:23:17,564 --> 00:23:19,532 SHE OUT BRINGING AN EGG TIMER RIGHT NOW. 451 00:23:19,632 --> 00:23:21,534 - AN EGG TIMER? - ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO BE 452 00:23:21,634 --> 00:23:24,370 THIS GUY'S BACKUP RUSSIAN WINGMAN? 453 00:23:24,471 --> 00:23:26,372 YES, I GAVE HIM MY WORD. 454 00:23:26,473 --> 00:23:28,475 HE THINKS I'M A BRAVE DETECTIVE. 455 00:23:28,575 --> 00:23:30,643 AND HE'S ALREADY PAID ME $200. 456 00:23:30,743 --> 00:23:33,946 OKAY, WELL, IN THAT CASE I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU. 457 00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:43,723 THESE ARE MY UNCLE'S. THEY MEAN A LOT TO ME. 458 00:23:43,823 --> 00:23:46,526 HE DIED OF CIRRHOSIS OF THE LIVER. 459 00:23:46,626 --> 00:23:48,294 THESE WERE ALSO HIS. 460 00:23:48,394 --> 00:23:50,563 HERE, DRINK UP. DON'T LOSE THOSE. 461 00:23:55,101 --> 00:23:57,303 RAY, I'M EXCITED. 462 00:23:57,403 --> 00:24:00,006 I GOT A REALLY GOOD EGG TIMER. 463 00:24:00,106 --> 00:24:01,641 ( timer dings ) 464 00:24:03,375 --> 00:24:06,378 I LOVE THE BOARDWALK. IT REMINDS ME OF THE BLACK SEA. 465 00:24:06,479 --> 00:24:08,981 ONLY I WISH THE GIRLS WERE TOPLESS LIKE IN RUSSIA, 466 00:24:09,081 --> 00:24:11,350 IN AMERICA PEOPLE ARE SHY AND DISTURBED. 467 00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:14,320 I DON'T KNOW, WHY BE SCARED OF THE NAKED BREAST? 468 00:24:14,420 --> 00:24:15,955 I'VE NEVER BEEN TO A TOPLESS BEACH. 469 00:24:16,055 --> 00:24:17,323 OH, I HOPE YOU GO. 470 00:24:17,423 --> 00:24:19,959 LISTEN, I WAS THINKING ABOUT YOU YESTERDAY. 471 00:24:20,059 --> 00:24:23,162 YOU SHOULD TAKE THIS GIRL THAT YOU LOVED 472 00:24:23,262 --> 00:24:24,463 AND BRING HER HERE TO BRIGHTON BEACH. 473 00:24:24,564 --> 00:24:26,866 MAYBE YOU'LL GET BACK TOGETHER AND GET MARRIED. 474 00:24:26,966 --> 00:24:29,368 WELL, YOU MUST BE PSYCHIC OR SOMETHING, 475 00:24:29,468 --> 00:24:32,471 BECAUSE LAST NIGHT I TRIED THAT. 476 00:24:32,572 --> 00:24:35,942 AND, WELL, I SCREWED THE WHOLE THING UP. 477 00:24:36,042 --> 00:24:37,910 OH, I'M SORRY. 478 00:24:38,010 --> 00:24:38,978 THAT'S ALL RIGHT. 479 00:24:39,078 --> 00:24:41,581 IT'S LIKE MY HEART'S BROKEN AGAIN, 480 00:24:41,681 --> 00:24:44,016 BUT IT'S NOT AS BAD SINCE I'M USED TO IT. 481 00:24:45,384 --> 00:24:48,287 IRENNA. YOU FOUND HER. 482 00:24:48,387 --> 00:24:50,456 IRENNA. ( speaks Russian ) 483 00:24:50,557 --> 00:24:52,825 IRENNA. 484 00:24:52,925 --> 00:24:55,595 MY BROTHER IS IN PRISON BECAUSE OF YOU, BASTARD! 485 00:24:55,695 --> 00:24:58,565 - HEY HEY HEY. - GO HOME, PRIVATE DICK. 486 00:24:59,566 --> 00:25:01,768 THIS DOESN'T INVOLVE YOU. 487 00:25:02,802 --> 00:25:04,503 HEY. 488 00:25:27,994 --> 00:25:30,697 OW! OW! 489 00:25:32,799 --> 00:25:35,101 ( car alarm blaring ) 490 00:25:37,570 --> 00:25:40,272 COME ON, COME ON. 491 00:25:40,372 --> 00:25:42,742 THIS WAY, JONATHAN. 492 00:25:47,013 --> 00:25:48,615 WE HIDE HERE. 493 00:25:50,717 --> 00:25:52,652 - OH, SHIT. OH, SHIT. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 494 00:25:52,752 --> 00:25:55,154 EXTRA HIDING. WE'RE GONNA DIE. 495 00:25:55,254 --> 00:25:57,556 YOU'RE NOT GONNA DIE. YOU'RE FINE. YOU DID GOOD. 496 00:25:57,657 --> 00:25:59,726 YOU SAVED ME. 497 00:25:59,826 --> 00:26:01,560 I AM GRATEFUL TO YOU. 498 00:26:01,661 --> 00:26:03,195 I DID OKAY? 499 00:26:03,295 --> 00:26:04,463 YEAH, YOU ARE REAL MAN. 500 00:26:04,563 --> 00:26:06,565 YOU SHOWED ME TONIGHT-- VERY BRAVE. 501 00:26:06,666 --> 00:26:09,401 YOU GOT THE BOSS RIGHT IN THE NOSE. 502 00:26:09,501 --> 00:26:10,870 IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. 503 00:26:10,970 --> 00:26:12,304 I WASN'T ACTUALLY AIMING FOR HIM. 504 00:26:12,404 --> 00:26:13,505 - WHAT? - NOTHING. 505 00:26:13,606 --> 00:26:15,808 NOTHING. I WAS JUST-- 506 00:26:15,908 --> 00:26:18,377 I'M GLAD WE TOOK THOSE JERKS OUT. 507 00:26:18,477 --> 00:26:20,012 SO WAIT, 508 00:26:20,112 --> 00:26:22,014 WHAT HAPPENED WITH YOU AND IRENNA'S BROTHER? 509 00:26:22,114 --> 00:26:24,083 WHY DID SHE TURN AGAINST YOU? 510 00:26:24,183 --> 00:26:25,517 WE WERE DOING A DEAL 511 00:26:25,618 --> 00:26:27,386 AND WHEN THE COPS GOT ME, THEY GOT HIM. 512 00:26:27,486 --> 00:26:30,456 - AND HE'S STILL IN PRISON? - YEAH. 513 00:26:30,556 --> 00:26:32,458 I DIDN'T THINK SHE WOULD HOLD IT AGAINST ME 514 00:26:32,558 --> 00:26:36,295 AFTER OUR NIGHT OF GREAT TENDERNESS. 515 00:26:36,395 --> 00:26:38,998 BUT NOW MY LOVE FOR HER IS BURIED. 516 00:26:39,098 --> 00:26:42,001 BUT I WILL GO ON LIKE YOU DID, 517 00:26:42,101 --> 00:26:43,803 WITH A BROKEN HEART. 518 00:26:43,903 --> 00:26:46,605 - ( footsteps, Russian speech ) - SHH. 519 00:26:49,608 --> 00:26:51,878 WHAT DO WE DO NOW? 520 00:26:51,978 --> 00:26:54,380 THEY GO THIS WAY-- WE GO THIS WAY. 521 00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:56,649 OKAY. 522 00:26:57,684 --> 00:26:59,752 ( grunts ) 523 00:27:05,324 --> 00:27:07,459 GOODBYE, MY NEW FRIEND. 524 00:27:07,559 --> 00:27:09,662 I DON'T KNOW IF I'LL EVER SEE YOU AGAIN, 525 00:27:09,762 --> 00:27:12,999 BUT I HOPE YOUR HEART IS BROKEN MANY TIMES 526 00:27:13,099 --> 00:27:15,968 BECAUSE IT MEANS YOU WILL HAVE LOVED MANY TIMES. 527 00:27:25,712 --> 00:27:28,414 HI, GEORGE. LISTEN, I KNOW IT'S LATE. 528 00:27:28,514 --> 00:27:31,150 I'M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU, BUT I HAVE HAD 529 00:27:31,250 --> 00:27:33,385 THE MOST INCREDIBLE, INSANE NIGHT. 530 00:27:33,485 --> 00:27:35,187 WOULD YOU WANT TO MEET FOR A DRINK? 531 00:27:35,287 --> 00:27:38,057 Now's actually not a great time for me. 532 00:27:38,157 --> 00:27:39,358 I have company. 533 00:27:39,458 --> 00:27:41,660 Do you remember what you told me to Google? 534 00:27:41,761 --> 00:27:43,162 HOLY SHIT. 535 00:27:43,262 --> 00:27:44,864 HOW'S IT GOING? 536 00:27:44,964 --> 00:27:48,768 WELL, I'M NO DANNY KAYE, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 537 00:27:48,868 --> 00:27:50,602 I LOVE DANNY KAYE, 538 00:27:50,703 --> 00:27:52,438 ESPECIALLY "THE INSPECTOR GENERAL." 539 00:27:52,538 --> 00:27:54,473 - REALLY? - YEAH. 540 00:27:54,573 --> 00:27:56,442 I HAVE "THE INSPECTOR GENERAL." 541 00:27:56,542 --> 00:27:57,944 WE COULD WATCH IT IF YOU'D LIKE. 542 00:27:58,044 --> 00:28:00,079 I HAVE ALL OF DANNY KAYE'S FILMS. 543 00:28:00,179 --> 00:28:01,748 - I WOULD LOVE THAT. - HEY, JONATHAN, 544 00:28:01,848 --> 00:28:03,582 we're gonna watch "The Inspector General." 545 00:28:03,682 --> 00:28:05,517 YOU COULD COME OVER IF YOU'D LIKE. 546 00:28:05,617 --> 00:28:06,919 HE'S A REALLY NICE GUY. 547 00:28:07,019 --> 00:28:09,722 ( "The Inspector General" playing ) 548 00:28:17,730 --> 00:28:20,699 ( laughing ) 549 00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:31,143 I HOPE JONATHAN DOES NOT LOSE THOSE BRASS KNUCKLES. 550 00:28:31,243 --> 00:28:34,046 COULD YOU PLEASE NOT TALK ABOUT JONATHAN? 551 00:28:34,146 --> 00:28:36,515 THIS IS AN INTIMACY EXERCISE ABOUT US. 552 00:28:36,615 --> 00:28:38,484 I'M SURE HE'S FINE. 553 00:28:38,584 --> 00:28:39,919 ( timer dings ) 554 00:28:40,019 --> 00:28:42,354 ( theme music playing ) 555 00:28:44,690 --> 00:28:48,795 * ALL THE SHADOWS IN THE CITY * 556 00:28:48,895 --> 00:28:52,965 * USED TO LOVE YOU, WHAT A PITY * 557 00:28:53,065 --> 00:28:56,735 * I MISS THE QUESTIONS YOU USED TO ASK ME * 558 00:28:56,836 --> 00:29:00,606 * ALL THE SHADOWS IN THE CITY * 559 00:29:00,706 --> 00:29:02,408 * ALL RIGHT 560 00:29:05,244 --> 00:29:09,215 * BORED TO DEATH, PLUS EXPENSES * 561 00:29:09,315 --> 00:29:13,352 * THE ONLY TROUBLE IS MY SENTENCE * 562 00:29:13,452 --> 00:29:17,256 * YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER LOVE ANOTHER * 563 00:29:17,356 --> 00:29:21,527 * A RUSSIAN DOLL ONE INSIDE THE OTHER. *