1 00:00:01,469 --> 00:00:04,357 We committed adultery! Forgive me! 2 00:00:05,668 --> 00:00:07,739 You can stay with me as long as you need. 3 00:00:07,852 --> 00:00:09,424 I've signed up for a musical review, 4 00:00:09,517 --> 00:00:12,402 they assigned me to dream the impossible dream. 5 00:00:12,492 --> 00:00:15,744 I come from a sperm donor. I'm trying to find my father. 6 00:00:15,810 --> 00:00:18,812 Emily was attacked by a homosexual tiger. 7 00:00:18,928 --> 00:00:20,676 I was rebuilding our relationship and 8 00:00:20,774 --> 00:00:23,199 now I'm not a father any more! 9 00:00:23,283 --> 00:00:24,271 I'm a trigger! 10 00:00:24,361 --> 00:00:25,915 - Jonathan Ames? - Yes? 11 00:00:26,011 --> 00:00:29,166 I have information about your biological father. 12 00:00:30,613 --> 00:00:34,912 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 13 00:00:35,176 --> 00:00:38,190 ( Theme music playing ) 14 00:00:39,535 --> 00:00:43,560 ♪ All the shadows in the city ♪ 15 00:00:43,594 --> 00:00:47,312 ♪ used to love you, what a pity ♪ 16 00:00:47,347 --> 00:00:51,402 ♪ I miss the questions you used to ask me ♪ 17 00:00:51,436 --> 00:00:55,531 ♪ bored to death, cut, mad and lonely ♪ 18 00:00:55,565 --> 00:00:59,313 ♪ bored to death, cut, mad and lonely... ♪ 19 00:00:59,347 --> 00:01:01,488 - ( Coughs ) - ♪ Bored to death ♪ 20 00:01:01,522 --> 00:01:04,101 ♪ cut, mad and lonely. ♪ 21 00:01:06,011 --> 00:01:07,652 ( Whistle blows ) 22 00:01:26,930 --> 00:01:29,570 Do all detectives keep white wine in their desks? 23 00:01:29,604 --> 00:01:31,477 No, most detectives in literature have whiskey, 24 00:01:31,511 --> 00:01:33,886 but tend to black out and throw up on the brown stuff. 25 00:01:33,921 --> 00:01:35,860 I used to be weak that way. 26 00:01:35,894 --> 00:01:38,100 Every time I would drink scotch, I would lose my panties. 27 00:01:38,134 --> 00:01:40,040 It was always annoying the next morning. 28 00:01:40,074 --> 00:01:42,917 So you said on the phone that you had 29 00:01:42,951 --> 00:01:44,421 some information about my father. 30 00:01:44,455 --> 00:01:46,428 About both our missing fathers. 31 00:01:46,463 --> 00:01:49,404 I also began life at the Hudson sperm bank. 32 00:01:49,439 --> 00:01:51,811 Well, it's wonderful to meet a fellow donation. 33 00:01:51,846 --> 00:01:53,983 - You know the place burned dow right? - I know. 34 00:01:54,017 --> 00:01:56,255 And the owner Donald Stark has gone off the grid. 35 00:01:56,289 --> 00:01:58,763 You know the owner's name? 36 00:01:58,798 --> 00:02:02,072 Well, without Stark there are no records, 37 00:02:02,107 --> 00:02:03,744 so we've hit the same dead end. 38 00:02:03,779 --> 00:02:05,750 That's not true. 39 00:02:05,784 --> 00:02:08,524 - I found Fishman. - Fishman? 40 00:02:08,558 --> 00:02:12,232 Fishman, who witnessed the devastating fire. 41 00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:15,006 Fishman-- His face blackened by smoke. 42 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,679 Fishman-- His hair singed. 43 00:02:17,714 --> 00:02:20,419 The same man was at each fire? 44 00:02:20,454 --> 00:02:23,093 Oh my God. Fishman must be a-- 45 00:02:23,127 --> 00:02:26,601 A professional firebug. He is. 46 00:02:27,705 --> 00:02:29,375 Stark hired him to burn the bank. 47 00:02:29,410 --> 00:02:31,047 Fishman is our link to the records. 48 00:02:31,081 --> 00:02:33,887 - And you need me to find him. - I already have. 49 00:02:33,922 --> 00:02:35,457 Aw, come on! 50 00:02:35,492 --> 00:02:37,095 He's in Rikers. He's doing eight to 10. 51 00:02:37,130 --> 00:02:38,565 I'm seeing him tomorrow morning. 52 00:02:38,599 --> 00:02:40,035 You've practically solved the case. 53 00:02:40,070 --> 00:02:42,173 - Why do you want to hire me? - I don't. 54 00:02:42,207 --> 00:02:44,311 I felt sorry for you when I saw you on the Cavett Show. 55 00:02:44,345 --> 00:02:47,350 You looked so lost and disturbed. 56 00:02:47,385 --> 00:02:49,488 Is it because I went crotch closed 57 00:02:49,523 --> 00:02:51,659 - instead of crotch open? - Yes. 58 00:02:51,694 --> 00:02:53,832 I knew I should have gone crotch open. 59 00:02:53,866 --> 00:02:57,039 My friend George told me I should do crotch closed. 60 00:02:57,073 --> 00:02:59,376 His fault. 61 00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:03,585 Hey, leah, don't know why you're not calling me back. 62 00:03:03,620 --> 00:03:05,523 I'm not sure if it's because I cheated on you 63 00:03:05,558 --> 00:03:07,461 or because you lost my phone number. 64 00:03:07,495 --> 00:03:09,432 But listen, if it's the cheating, 65 00:03:09,466 --> 00:03:12,405 call me back, ok? This is Ray. 66 00:03:12,439 --> 00:03:15,011 Hey, Emily. Dad again-- Your father. 67 00:03:15,045 --> 00:03:17,581 Um, call me back sometime, sweetie. 68 00:03:17,615 --> 00:03:19,284 ( Chuckles ) 69 00:03:19,319 --> 00:03:20,821 No luck. 70 00:03:20,856 --> 00:03:22,724 Me neither. 71 00:03:22,758 --> 00:03:24,495 I wish leah would go ahead and forgive me already. 72 00:03:24,529 --> 00:03:26,065 I don't know what's taking so long. 73 00:03:26,099 --> 00:03:28,470 You're just gonna have to suffer for a while, Ray. 74 00:03:28,504 --> 00:03:31,776 That's all there is to it. It's your penance. 75 00:03:31,811 --> 00:03:35,885 Well, the weird thing is I kind of don't want the pain to be over. 76 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:39,592 That's because when the pain ends, the love ends. 77 00:03:39,626 --> 00:03:42,966 Come to bed, Ray. Come on. 78 00:03:45,805 --> 00:03:48,677 So is that neck sling helping at all? 79 00:03:48,711 --> 00:03:53,520 Well, I feel taller, but my back still hurts. 80 00:03:53,555 --> 00:03:55,859 Well, I've got something for you then. 81 00:03:55,894 --> 00:03:57,829 Oh, like a present? 82 00:03:57,864 --> 00:04:00,167 Well... 83 00:04:00,201 --> 00:04:02,001 Oh, it's a book. 84 00:04:02,035 --> 00:04:04,002 Great. 85 00:04:04,037 --> 00:04:07,038 "Healing back pain, the mind-body connection." 86 00:04:07,073 --> 00:04:09,272 Dr. John E. Sarno. 87 00:04:09,306 --> 00:04:11,640 I hear that it works wonders. 88 00:04:11,674 --> 00:04:14,174 And here's another gift for you. 89 00:04:14,209 --> 00:04:17,943 - What's this? - Well, this is for your nose, Ray. 90 00:04:17,977 --> 00:04:20,077 Your snoring is starting to unravel me. 91 00:04:20,111 --> 00:04:24,947 The revue is tomorrow night and I need my rest. 92 00:04:26,917 --> 00:04:28,717 ( Snoring ) 93 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:32,754 ( Snores ) Yeah, I think this thing's working. 94 00:04:32,788 --> 00:04:36,590 Sometimes you just irritate the hell out of me. 95 00:04:36,624 --> 00:04:39,728 Hey, George, will you get me a glass of juice, please? 96 00:04:39,762 --> 00:04:43,198 Half guava, half apple with a splash of orange 97 00:04:43,232 --> 00:04:44,899 and a little hint of grapefruit 98 00:04:44,933 --> 00:04:48,035 d a segment of lime, quickly. 99 00:04:50,437 --> 00:04:53,138 We want Donald Stark. Where is he? 100 00:04:53,172 --> 00:04:54,772 I've already told you 101 00:04:54,806 --> 00:04:57,707 I had nothing to do with that sperm shop. 102 00:04:57,741 --> 00:04:59,674 I was out looking for my cat. 103 00:04:59,709 --> 00:05:02,810 I smelled smoke-- Piqued my interest. 104 00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:04,578 Liar! 105 00:05:04,613 --> 00:05:06,079 You seem like a dog person. 106 00:05:06,114 --> 00:05:07,714 - No. - Really? 107 00:05:07,749 --> 00:05:09,583 Were you out looking for your cat on this night? 108 00:05:09,617 --> 00:05:11,118 How about this night? 109 00:05:11,152 --> 00:05:13,286 Did you find your pussy on this night? 110 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:14,587 - Okay. - What about that night? 111 00:05:14,622 --> 00:05:16,922 Yeah, seems like a lot of nights. 112 00:05:16,990 --> 00:05:20,425 Great. Caught me in a little lie, did ya? 113 00:05:20,459 --> 00:05:22,426 But I'm a pro, honey. 114 00:05:22,461 --> 00:05:24,594 You think I got where I am by being a snitch? 115 00:05:24,629 --> 00:05:28,398 - Rikers? Ha. - Okay, don't rub it in, girlie. 116 00:05:28,432 --> 00:05:31,867 I will rub it in. I need to find my father. 117 00:05:31,902 --> 00:05:35,470 - Please, help me. - ( Whimpers ) 118 00:05:35,505 --> 00:05:38,573 Yeah, help us. 119 00:05:40,842 --> 00:05:46,345 You know, I grew up in an orphanage. 120 00:05:46,379 --> 00:05:48,880 It's where I first started lighting fires-- 121 00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:50,415 For the attention. 122 00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:53,952 Who knew it would blossom into a career, right? 123 00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:58,290 Well, then you know what it's like to want to find your family. 124 00:05:58,324 --> 00:06:03,227 Yeah, I do. 125 00:06:08,532 --> 00:06:11,468 - Used to be Stark, want used to be a number - Of other names too, 126 00:06:11,502 --> 00:06:14,671 but he burns a business about once every year. 127 00:06:14,705 --> 00:06:18,207 - Where can we find him? - He runs a cap store out on Coney Island-- 128 00:06:18,241 --> 00:06:20,509 Susquehanna Hats on Bagel Street. 129 00:06:20,543 --> 00:06:24,412 - Mr. Fishman, I could kick you. - Really? 130 00:06:24,447 --> 00:06:25,947 Then what's stopping you, honey? 131 00:06:25,981 --> 00:06:27,581 I got three more years in this shitbox. 132 00:06:27,616 --> 00:06:30,316 - Come on, give it to me. - ( Reaming ) 133 00:06:30,351 --> 00:06:32,552 - Whoa whoa whoa! Fishman! - ( Screaming continues ) 134 00:06:32,586 --> 00:06:34,387 That's enough, buddy! 135 00:06:34,421 --> 00:06:38,057 Oh! Oh, man! I was so close to that. 136 00:06:38,091 --> 00:06:40,158 I almost had it in there. 137 00:06:40,193 --> 00:06:42,126 Are you all right? 138 00:06:42,161 --> 00:06:44,261 Thank you. 139 00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:51,001 ( Snoring ) 140 00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:06,547 ( Sighs ) 141 00:07:16,357 --> 00:07:19,225 Hey, George? 142 00:07:19,260 --> 00:07:22,328 George, I'm healed! Praise Sarno! 143 00:07:22,362 --> 00:07:24,196 George, George. 144 00:07:24,230 --> 00:07:27,132 George, wake up. There's been a miracle. 145 00:07:27,166 --> 00:07:28,733 What's-- What's going--? 146 00:07:28,767 --> 00:07:31,201 It's bare-- It's barely 10:00. 147 00:07:31,236 --> 00:07:33,303 Was there a financial crisis? 148 00:07:33,338 --> 00:07:34,838 My back pain is completely gone. 149 00:07:34,872 --> 00:07:37,707 - Your book healed my back. - You read the whole thing? 150 00:07:37,741 --> 00:07:39,842 No, I read the whole back cover 151 00:07:39,877 --> 00:07:41,810 and then I slept on it, and the combination worked. 152 00:07:41,845 --> 00:07:43,712 Well, that's wonderful. 153 00:07:43,746 --> 00:07:46,380 I mean, the book must have seeped into you. 154 00:07:46,414 --> 00:07:47,981 Sarno said I invented my back spasms 155 00:07:48,015 --> 00:07:49,582 so I wouldn't feel anything else. 156 00:07:49,616 --> 00:07:51,083 You got that from the back cover? 157 00:07:51,117 --> 00:07:52,817 Yeah. Isn't that amazing? 158 00:07:52,851 --> 00:07:54,351 I'm in charge. 159 00:07:54,386 --> 00:07:56,353 I'm in charge! 160 00:07:56,387 --> 00:07:58,688 Ray Hueston is in charge of his body. 161 00:07:58,722 --> 00:08:03,124 - Ray Hueston is in charge-- - Ooh ooh! Are you okay? 162 00:08:03,158 --> 00:08:05,959 I'm good. I'm still in charge. 163 00:08:05,994 --> 00:08:07,828 ( Bones cracking ) 164 00:08:07,863 --> 00:08:10,431 I'll take the lead with Bergeron since you were in charge 165 00:08:10,465 --> 00:08:11,965 of the Fishman interrogation, okay? 166 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,400 Okay. Are you sure you're up for it? 167 00:08:13,434 --> 00:08:17,203 I am a detective, you know? Ooh, I love Ferris wheels. 168 00:08:17,237 --> 00:08:18,638 Me too. 169 00:08:18,672 --> 00:08:22,708 - W-we need to stay on task. - Right. 170 00:08:22,742 --> 00:08:24,776 There's our meat. 171 00:08:26,345 --> 00:08:30,215 - Are you Harry Bergeron? - Depends who's asking. 172 00:08:30,249 --> 00:08:31,917 - We are. - Who's we? 173 00:08:31,951 --> 00:08:33,719 - Depends who's asking. - I am. 174 00:08:33,753 --> 00:08:35,520 - Who's I? - Depends who's asking. 175 00:08:35,554 --> 00:08:39,489 - I'm ask-- - Ah. Okay, we know you're Harrison Bergeron, 176 00:08:39,524 --> 00:08:41,257 but are you also Donald Stark 177 00:08:41,291 --> 00:08:44,593 who once owned the Hudson sperm bank in Fair Lawn, New Jersey? 178 00:08:44,627 --> 00:08:46,995 Inside. 179 00:08:47,029 --> 00:08:49,831 Wipe your feet. 180 00:08:53,736 --> 00:08:54,669 Are you the cops? 181 00:08:54,704 --> 00:08:56,805 You look le graduate students. 182 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:59,209 No, but I am getting my PhD 183 00:08:59,243 --> 00:09:00,710 in library science from Columbia. 184 00:09:02,779 --> 00:09:04,580 But I am an unlicensed private detective. 185 00:09:04,614 --> 00:09:07,783 So you're a shamus. How'd you find me? 186 00:09:07,817 --> 00:09:09,484 As arsonist named Fishman led us here. 187 00:09:09,518 --> 00:09:11,619 - We saw him at Rikers. - Oh yeah? 188 00:09:11,653 --> 00:09:13,420 I always liked Fishman. 189 00:09:13,454 --> 00:09:15,822 It convenient when you're a smoker to he him around. 190 00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:17,390 He's always quick with a match. 191 00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:19,058 Nice Jewish boy. 192 00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:23,762 But let's get to the point. 193 00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:25,797 What do you want with me? 194 00:09:25,831 --> 00:09:27,498 Are you with the insurance companies? 195 00:09:27,533 --> 00:09:30,568 No, we're not interested in your smoky trail of arson. 196 00:09:30,602 --> 00:09:33,903 We just want to know about the sperm bank because... 197 00:09:33,938 --> 00:09:35,738 Well, we come from it. 198 00:09:35,773 --> 00:09:37,440 Oh. 199 00:09:38,508 --> 00:09:39,975 Well, it's been a long time 200 00:09:40,010 --> 00:09:41,710 since I was in the sperm business. 201 00:09:41,745 --> 00:09:44,313 After that it was laundromats, then liquor stores. 202 00:09:44,347 --> 00:09:46,981 I always try to provide what's essential. 203 00:09:47,016 --> 00:09:48,850 But did you keep any of the records? 204 00:09:48,884 --> 00:09:50,852 All I know about my dad is that, 205 00:09:50,886 --> 00:09:53,521 well, he was Greek and he had a beautiful singing voice. 206 00:09:53,555 --> 00:09:56,189 Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart. 207 00:09:56,224 --> 00:09:59,092 When the building burned dow everything was lost. 208 00:09:59,126 --> 00:10:01,860 Oh no. 209 00:10:01,895 --> 00:10:04,696 You hadn't engaged in fraud, this girl might have be 210 00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:06,998 to find her father with the beautiful singing voice. 211 00:10:07,032 --> 00:10:09,367 I hope you realize what you've robbed her of. 212 00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:11,535 I understand, kid. 213 00:10:11,570 --> 00:10:14,004 When I was your age, I was the same way-- 214 00:10:14,038 --> 00:10:15,905 All chip and no shoulders. 215 00:10:15,940 --> 00:10:18,441 I've got shoulders, two of them. 216 00:10:20,878 --> 00:10:22,612 You remember anything, let's get out of here. 217 00:10:23,981 --> 00:10:26,482 Look, I'm-- I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help. 218 00:10:26,516 --> 00:10:31,386 Would you-- Would you like some wonder hats? 219 00:10:31,421 --> 00:10:33,655 Huh? Half-price. 220 00:10:33,689 --> 00:10:36,690 - I like the pink one-- - No. 221 00:10:36,724 --> 00:10:40,126 We don't want any hats. And I didn't wipe my feet. 222 00:10:43,831 --> 00:10:46,667 I can't give these things away. 223 00:10:49,103 --> 00:10:50,936 George: Hey, sweetie. Dad again. 224 00:10:50,971 --> 00:10:52,938 Just wondering whether you got 225 00:10:52,972 --> 00:10:56,108 all seven invitations to my performance tonight. 226 00:10:56,142 --> 00:10:58,009 Bring Bernard. Call me back. 227 00:10:58,043 --> 00:11:00,444 Or don't. Just show up-- 8:00 pm. 228 00:11:00,479 --> 00:11:02,179 - ( Beeps ) - I love-- Ugh. 229 00:11:02,214 --> 00:11:04,681 - Cut off again? - Yes. 230 00:11:04,716 --> 00:11:07,084 Even her voicemail seems to know it's me. 231 00:11:07,118 --> 00:11:08,752 This will cheer you up. 232 00:11:08,786 --> 00:11:11,854 - Take a look at this. - Oh. 233 00:11:11,889 --> 00:11:15,157 This is before Sarno and this is after Sarno. 234 00:11:15,192 --> 00:11:17,159 - George: Oh God, this is wonderful. - Yeah. 235 00:11:17,193 --> 00:11:19,561 - A little bulge there and everything. - Yep. 236 00:11:19,595 --> 00:11:22,864 Now who's the misshapen dwarf on super Ray's shoulder? 237 00:11:22,898 --> 00:11:24,665 That's not a dwarf. That's my son. 238 00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:27,768 - That's Ser Spencer. - Oh yeah. No, of course. No, I see that. 239 00:11:27,802 --> 00:11:29,336 I'll tell you something though-- 240 00:11:29,370 --> 00:11:31,771 That Sarno seems to have had a powerful effect on you. 241 00:11:31,806 --> 00:11:33,472 Yeah, not that I know that my back spasms 242 00:11:33,507 --> 00:11:34,874 were caused by repressed emotions, 243 00:11:34,908 --> 00:11:36,342 I find I can really draw again. 244 00:11:36,376 --> 00:11:38,810 So what feeling were you not feeling? 245 00:11:41,514 --> 00:11:43,814 Oh shit, I forgot that part of it. 246 00:11:43,848 --> 00:11:45,683 Oh, hey hey, look, don't question it, you know. 247 00:11:45,717 --> 00:11:48,652 You've had a breakthrough. That's enough for one day. 248 00:11:48,686 --> 00:11:51,154 I tell you I haven't had a breakthrough in years. 249 00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:55,191 Oh, Ray-- Ray, I am so very proud of you. 250 00:11:55,225 --> 00:11:56,992 George, what are you doing? 251 00:11:57,027 --> 00:11:59,228 I'm a real artist. Dot do that. I'm not a child. 252 00:11:59,262 --> 00:12:02,230 But I tuck you in every night. 253 00:12:02,265 --> 00:12:04,099 I bring you food from the restaurant. 254 00:12:04,393 --> 00:12:08,903 - I thought you liked being infantilized. - Yeah, a-at my bedtime. 255 00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:11,371 And at my mealtime. 256 00:12:11,406 --> 00:12:14,374 Okay, all right. Mr. grumpy. 257 00:12:15,442 --> 00:12:18,244 - ( Burbling ) - ( Laughs ) Stop. 258 00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:20,446 ( Music playing ) 259 00:12:20,481 --> 00:12:22,481 Sorry I got angry back there at Bergeron's. 260 00:12:22,516 --> 00:12:23,983 It's just that I s so angry 261 00:12:24,017 --> 00:12:26,552 which is why I got so... angry. 262 00:12:26,586 --> 00:12:27,986 I'm angry too. 263 00:12:28,020 --> 00:12:30,688 Now we'll never know what diseases we're prone to. 264 00:12:30,722 --> 00:12:32,456 Yeah. I mean that pisses me off. 265 00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:35,525 - I would have liked to have known those diseases. - Me too. 266 00:12:35,560 --> 00:12:38,261 On my mother's side I have balding, but that's not an illness. 267 00:12:38,295 --> 00:12:39,863 I just really wanted to find my dad. 268 00:12:39,897 --> 00:12:43,433 I feel like there's a-- A book missing fro. 269 00:12:43,467 --> 00:12:46,368 - Hmm. - Hey, 270 00:12:46,403 --> 00:12:49,738 I know what will make us feel better about those diseases. 271 00:12:52,307 --> 00:12:54,875 ( People screaming ) 272 00:12:54,909 --> 00:12:57,577 You know, my parents' first date was to Coney island. 273 00:12:57,612 --> 00:13:00,180 That's romantic. 274 00:13:00,181 --> 00:13:03,916 - It's a shame your dad was sterile. - Yeah. 275 00:13:03,951 --> 00:13:05,685 I always thought I came from Brooklyn, romantic. 276 00:13:05,719 --> 00:13:07,386 But I guess that's not true 277 00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:12,357 I'm half Brooklyn, half mystery. 278 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:17,094 And you're half sexy in your own y. 279 00:13:17,128 --> 00:13:20,530 You do have really big eyes. 280 00:13:20,565 --> 00:13:23,733 You know, a therapist recently told me that. 281 00:13:25,669 --> 00:13:27,169 That was an opening for you to kiss me 282 00:13:27,203 --> 00:13:30,371 I-- I didn't really want to hear about therapy, but... 283 00:13:38,213 --> 00:13:41,715 I am the knight of the mournful countenance. 284 00:13:41,749 --> 00:13:43,216 Giddy-up, Rocinante! 285 00:13:43,250 --> 00:13:45,918 Whoa, easy, boy. 286 00:13:45,952 --> 00:13:49,488 Ah, my beautiful don quixote. 287 00:13:49,522 --> 00:13:52,257 Josephine, thank god you came early. 288 00:13:55,094 --> 00:13:56,594 I need a warm-up. 289 00:13:56,628 --> 00:13:59,129 Not a problem. I'm not wearing any panties. 290 00:13:59,164 --> 00:14:01,265 What? Really? 291 00:14:01,299 --> 00:14:05,302 No no, I-- I meant, you know, maybe scales or something. 292 00:14:05,336 --> 00:14:09,071 I mean I'm happy that we made love every lesson, but... 293 00:14:09,105 --> 00:14:11,973 I'm a little nervous now about actually singing. 294 00:14:12,008 --> 00:14:14,442 - It is too late for that now. - What? 295 00:14:14,477 --> 00:14:17,578 This is the only lesson you'll need. 296 00:14:19,647 --> 00:14:22,948 Now don't you feel ready to sing? 297 00:14:22,982 --> 00:14:25,584 We, not exactly. 298 00:14:25,618 --> 00:14:27,919 ( Jonathan screaming ) 299 00:14:27,953 --> 00:14:30,421 - ( Rose panting ) - ( Rumbling ) 300 00:14:30,455 --> 00:14:32,990 Ah! Whoo! 301 00:14:33,024 --> 00:14:34,324 - ( Sighs ) - Whoo. 302 00:14:34,359 --> 00:14:36,660 - Sorry I'm a screamer. - That was amazing. 303 00:14:36,694 --> 00:14:39,829 I felt the room and the bed move. 304 00:14:39,864 --> 00:14:42,198 I know I was pretty good just now, 305 00:14:42,232 --> 00:14:44,133 better than usual actually, 306 00:14:44,167 --> 00:14:47,135 but the room a bed did move. 307 00:14:47,170 --> 00:14:51,439 The clock outside my window has a nervous twitch once an hour. 308 00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:55,342 Oh. Oh right. 309 00:14:55,376 --> 00:14:58,345 Would you ever consider solving cases 310 00:14:58,379 --> 00:15:01,314 on a more professional level? 311 00:15:01,348 --> 00:15:03,248 I've always been a lone operator, but-- 312 00:15:03,283 --> 00:15:06,384 I'll-- I'll give it some thought. 313 00:15:06,419 --> 00:15:08,386 I could use a sidekick. 314 00:15:08,420 --> 00:15:10,621 Okay. 315 00:15:10,656 --> 00:15:13,357 And would you like to come 316 00:15:13,391 --> 00:15:15,859 to my friend's recital with me tonight? 317 00:15:15,893 --> 00:15:18,328 It could be our first official date. 318 00:15:18,362 --> 00:15:19,829 Oh, I can't. 319 00:15:19,863 --> 00:15:22,298 I have a night class in parchment restoration. 320 00:15:23,767 --> 00:15:25,133 But do you think the clock could twitch 321 00:15:25,168 --> 00:15:26,702 one more time before we leave? 322 00:15:26,736 --> 00:15:28,703 No, it only does that once an hour. 323 00:15:28,738 --> 00:15:32,206 How did you solve any cases before you met me? 324 00:15:34,175 --> 00:15:37,477 - Oh. - ( Giggles ) 325 00:15:41,015 --> 00:15:43,883 ( Soft chatter ) 326 00:15:48,588 --> 00:15:52,925 "Emily, are you coming tonight? " Question mark. 327 00:15:52,959 --> 00:15:56,027 Oh hey, guys. You're so sweet to come. 328 00:15:56,062 --> 00:15:59,230 - Don quixote texting again? - Yeah yeah. 329 00:16:01,734 --> 00:16:04,134 For a message from Emily that's never gonna come. 330 00:16:04,169 --> 00:16:06,569 You know, George, you do look a lot like Samuel Beckett. 331 00:16:06,604 --> 00:16:09,672 I know. I've heard that before. 332 00:16:09,706 --> 00:16:13,041 It's depressing to look like the most depressed writer ever. 333 00:16:13,076 --> 00:16:15,443 - Can I have one of these? - Oh yeah, please. 334 00:16:15,477 --> 00:16:17,477 You know, Josephine brought those to me. 335 00:16:17,511 --> 00:16:21,111 They're pot cookies for after the show. 336 00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:23,714 - You want one? - No, I'm on a natural high. 337 00:16:23,748 --> 00:16:26,650 I just had transcendent sex with a girl named Rose. 338 00:16:26,684 --> 00:16:29,318 She's smart, pretty and a great detective. 339 00:16:29,353 --> 00:16:31,620 - Wow. - You only get stoned when you're unhappy? 340 00:16:31,655 --> 00:16:34,422 - That's not healthy. - You're right. 341 00:16:36,025 --> 00:16:39,360 Oh my God. That is so good. 342 00:16:39,394 --> 00:16:41,262 These chocolate chips are very melty. 343 00:16:41,296 --> 00:16:44,197 Oh, I want melty chocolate. 344 00:16:44,232 --> 00:16:47,066 That's our cue. Let's go. 345 00:16:48,335 --> 00:16:50,703 Oh oh, fellas, 346 00:16:50,738 --> 00:16:53,905 if Emily does show up, put her stage left 347 00:16:53,940 --> 00:16:55,740 so she can see my better cheekbone. 348 00:16:55,775 --> 00:16:58,242 I want her to be impressed by her father tonight. 349 00:16:58,276 --> 00:16:59,643 George, you're not Streisand. 350 00:16:59,678 --> 00:17:04,113 Well, tonight I am. ( Chuckles ) 351 00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:06,249 You guys a the best. 352 00:17:09,486 --> 00:17:11,620 Whoa. 353 00:17:13,156 --> 00:17:14,990 Ooh ooh ooh ooh, look. 354 00:17:15,024 --> 00:17:16,691 There's George's really hot singing teacher. 355 00:17:16,725 --> 00:17:19,594 - She hugged me once. - Oh, she is hot. 356 00:17:21,630 --> 00:17:22,863 - Hell Josephine. - Hello. 357 00:17:22,898 --> 00:17:25,799 This is George's only other friend Jonathan. 358 00:17:25,833 --> 00:17:27,934 - Hello. - Hello. Nice to meet you. 359 00:17:27,969 --> 00:17:30,836 Oh, you're the one who broke his daughter's nose. 360 00:17:30,871 --> 00:17:32,638 It wasn't me; It was a plushy. 361 00:17:32,672 --> 00:17:34,272 - ( Cell phone rings ) - Hmm. 362 00:17:34,307 --> 00:17:36,908 Oh, excuse me. 363 00:17:36,942 --> 00:17:40,077 - Hello? - It's Bergeron-Harry. 364 00:17:40,112 --> 00:17:41,746 What do you want, hat man? 365 00:17:41,780 --> 00:17:43,647 I have some information after all 366 00:17:43,682 --> 00:17:45,382 from the sperm bank days. 367 00:17:45,416 --> 00:17:48,618 - Okay, spill it. - Mm, not over the phone. 368 00:17:48,653 --> 00:17:52,021 Meet me at the Brooklyn aquarium in one hour. 369 00:17:52,056 --> 00:17:53,289 Why not at Susquehanna? 370 00:17:53,323 --> 00:17:54,857 The store isn't safe right now. 371 00:17:54,891 --> 00:17:56,492 Just meet me at the aquarium. 372 00:17:56,526 --> 00:18:00,594 They have evening hours tonight-- Half price. It's a good deal. 373 00:18:04,698 --> 00:18:06,966 ( Laughing ) 374 00:18:07,001 --> 00:18:09,402 Oh, these pot cookies you made 375 00:18:09,436 --> 00:18:11,704 are really starting to kick in. 376 00:18:11,738 --> 00:18:13,872 Like, I have the tactile munchies. 377 00:18:13,906 --> 00:18:16,675 You gotta feel my beard. It feels so good. 378 00:18:16,709 --> 00:18:18,810 Feel it. 379 00:18:18,844 --> 00:18:21,645 - It does feel good. - Yeah. 380 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:23,481 I have to go. 381 00:18:23,515 --> 00:18:27,117 Told you to use the restroom 10 minutes ago. 382 00:18:28,786 --> 00:18:30,920 Taxi, taxi! Taxi, taxi! 383 00:18:30,955 --> 00:18:32,822 ( Thuds ) 384 00:18:34,591 --> 00:18:37,526 Coney island! On the double. 385 00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:41,596 ♪ And we all say, oh, well I never! ♪ 386 00:18:41,630 --> 00:18:44,431 ♪ was there ever a cat so clever ♪ 387 00:18:44,466 --> 00:18:48,835 ♪ as magical Mr. Mistoffelees? ♪ 388 00:18:48,869 --> 00:18:52,139 Everyone! ♪ oh, well I never!♪ 389 00:18:52,173 --> 00:18:55,509 ♪ was there ever a cat so clever ♪ 390 00:18:55,543 --> 00:19:01,647 ♪ as magical Mr. Mistoffelees? ♪ 391 00:19:01,681 --> 00:19:04,682 ( Applause ) 392 00:19:04,716 --> 00:19:09,817 Yeah, let's give it up for Mark Foster-Yang-- 393 00:19:09,852 --> 00:19:11,819 Class of 2002, 394 00:19:11,854 --> 00:19:15,122 singing from "Cats," but a bulldog at heart. 395 00:19:15,157 --> 00:19:18,359 And now, please welcome our next performer, 396 00:19:18,393 --> 00:19:21,495 George Christopher, class of '69. 397 00:19:21,529 --> 00:19:24,664 ( Applause ) 398 00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:29,501 ( Audience chuckles ) 399 00:19:32,771 --> 00:19:34,872 ( Piano playing ) 400 00:19:38,243 --> 00:19:43,413 ♪ To dream the impossible dream ♪ 401 00:19:43,447 --> 00:19:49,385 ♪ to fight the unbeatable foe ♪ 402 00:19:49,419 --> 00:19:54,553 ♪ to bear with unbearable sorrow ♪ 403 00:19:54,588 --> 00:20:00,357 ♪ to run where the brave dare not go ♪ 404 00:20:00,391 --> 00:20:05,528 ♪ to right the unrightable wrong... ♪ 405 00:20:07,598 --> 00:20:11,267 - ( Crowd whispering ) - ( Piano stops ) 406 00:20:15,940 --> 00:20:21,111 ♪ To right the unrightable wrong... ♪ 407 00:20:21,146 --> 00:20:24,148 Oh, Emily. 408 00:20:24,182 --> 00:20:28,451 I am so sorry, but I must Sally forth. 409 00:20:28,486 --> 00:20:30,486 George? 410 00:20:30,521 --> 00:20:32,420 I have a quest. 411 00:20:32,455 --> 00:20:34,589 ( Crowd murmuring ) 412 00:20:37,258 --> 00:20:41,861 ♪ To right the unrightable wrong... ♪ 413 00:20:41,895 --> 00:20:42,828 ( Piano playing ) 414 00:20:42,863 --> 00:20:48,901 ♪ To do the undoable thing ♪ 415 00:20:48,935 --> 00:20:51,136 ♪ the thing... ♪ 416 00:20:51,170 --> 00:20:52,905 Take flight, legs! 417 00:20:54,908 --> 00:20:57,943 ( Fanfare ) 418 00:20:57,978 --> 00:21:00,112 ( Hoofbeats ) 419 00:21:02,749 --> 00:21:05,216 ( Horse neighing ) 420 00:21:17,296 --> 00:21:20,431 ( Coughing ) 421 00:21:22,767 --> 00:21:25,135 Rose, I know you're in your parchment restoration class, 422 00:21:25,169 --> 00:21:27,669 but there may be a break in the case. Call me. 423 00:21:35,743 --> 00:21:37,943 ( Tapping ) 424 00:21:45,217 --> 00:21:49,452 - Emily. - Dad, did you grow a beard? 425 00:21:54,324 --> 00:21:56,959 ( Panting ) 426 00:21:58,795 --> 00:22:02,064 Ray? What's going on? 427 00:22:02,098 --> 00:22:06,668 ♪ To dream the impossible dream ♪ 428 00:22:06,702 --> 00:22:11,238 ♪ to fight the unbeatable foe ♪ 429 00:22:11,273 --> 00:22:15,809 ♪ to bear with unbearable sorrow... ♪ 430 00:22:15,844 --> 00:22:20,113 And basically I have been repressing emotions. 431 00:22:20,147 --> 00:22:21,647 That's why I had back spasms 432 00:22:21,682 --> 00:22:24,883 and also a love affair with an older sexy woman. 433 00:22:24,917 --> 00:22:26,518 What? 434 00:22:26,552 --> 00:22:28,119 I was choking down my love for you 435 00:22:28,153 --> 00:22:29,954 because I was terrified. 436 00:22:29,988 --> 00:22:35,124 But I'm not-- I'm not scared anymore. 437 00:22:39,262 --> 00:22:42,365 Leah, I don't have a ring 438 00:22:42,399 --> 00:22:44,633 because I just thought to do this. 439 00:22:44,667 --> 00:22:47,769 Here it comes. Will you marry me? 440 00:22:47,803 --> 00:22:49,337 Oh, Ray. 441 00:22:49,371 --> 00:22:53,773 ♪ This is my quest, to follow that star... ♪ 442 00:22:53,807 --> 00:22:55,107 Shut up! 443 00:22:55,141 --> 00:22:57,476 Okay, how many more verses are there? 444 00:22:57,510 --> 00:23:01,247 Emily, I'm trying to right an unrightable wrong 445 00:23:01,282 --> 00:23:04,784 and asking you with all my heart to forgive me. 446 00:23:04,819 --> 00:23:07,655 I should never have questioned your love. 447 00:23:07,690 --> 00:23:10,557 I support you in everything you do. 448 00:23:10,592 --> 00:23:13,126 Will you just shut the fuck up? 449 00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:16,495 You shut the fuck up! I am I, don quixote! 450 00:23:16,529 --> 00:23:18,797 - ( George laughing ) - Emily: Okay, I'm gonna let you in 451 00:23:18,832 --> 00:23:20,599 before someone calls the police. 452 00:23:20,634 --> 00:23:23,368 - Okay. - Okay. 453 00:23:25,071 --> 00:23:27,673 George, George, wonderful singing. 454 00:23:27,707 --> 00:23:29,141 You got great pipes. 455 00:23:29,175 --> 00:23:32,511 Bernard, my favorite son-in-law, I've missed you! 456 00:23:32,545 --> 00:23:36,415 - Come on. - I'll be right there. ( Giggling ) 457 00:23:36,449 --> 00:23:39,751 Ray, I love you, I do. 458 00:23:39,785 --> 00:23:41,550 And I know that you love me, 459 00:23:41,584 --> 00:23:44,051 but we don't make each other happy. 460 00:23:44,085 --> 00:23:47,020 Well, that's gonna change. I healed my back with my mind. 461 00:23:47,054 --> 00:23:51,158 - I can heal us. - Ray, please. 462 00:23:51,193 --> 00:23:54,461 I know there's more good than bad in our relationship, 463 00:23:54,495 --> 00:23:58,431 but what's bad has become unbearable for me. 464 00:23:58,466 --> 00:23:59,932 Don't say that. 465 00:23:59,967 --> 00:24:02,034 I just think that the kindest thing 466 00:24:02,068 --> 00:24:06,605 we can do for each other is let each other go. 467 00:24:14,112 --> 00:24:16,647 ( Sighs ) 468 00:24:17,715 --> 00:24:19,649 I'm gonna miss you. 469 00:24:24,921 --> 00:24:28,189 Psst. Hey, Mr. shamus, over here. 470 00:24:29,491 --> 00:24:32,327 Why are you whispering? 471 00:24:32,361 --> 00:24:34,462 All these fish make me nervous. 472 00:24:34,496 --> 00:24:36,430 I can't swim. 473 00:24:36,465 --> 00:24:39,766 I like herring in cream sauce. That's about it. 474 00:24:39,801 --> 00:24:41,401 Forget the herring. Why'd you want to see me? 475 00:24:41,435 --> 00:24:43,136 Are you familiar with St. Francis? 476 00:24:43,170 --> 00:24:45,871 Yes, sometimes he's an answer in "the times" crossword. 477 00:24:45,905 --> 00:24:47,172 But do you know his prayer? 478 00:24:47,206 --> 00:24:49,975 "Better to forgive than be forgiven." 479 00:24:50,009 --> 00:24:52,710 Better to understand than be understood. 480 00:24:52,745 --> 00:24:55,279 "Better to love than be loved." 481 00:24:55,313 --> 00:24:58,214 - Yes, I know it. - Good. Keep it in mind. 482 00:24:59,883 --> 00:25:01,950 There were no records at the sperm bank 483 00:25:01,985 --> 00:25:04,319 - because I didn't keep any. - Why? 484 00:25:04,353 --> 00:25:06,787 Because I provided all the spunk myself. 485 00:25:06,821 --> 00:25:08,288 It was a way to save money. 486 00:25:08,322 --> 00:25:11,223 I didn't have to pay for donors or stroke books 487 00:25:11,257 --> 00:25:13,224 or tissues-- No overhead. 488 00:25:13,259 --> 00:25:15,660 - W-what? - I also have good genes. 489 00:25:15,694 --> 00:25:17,728 I mean, there's a lot of throat cancer 490 00:25:17,763 --> 00:25:20,297 and colitis in my family, but that's about it. 491 00:25:20,331 --> 00:25:22,632 So my conscience was clear... 492 00:25:22,667 --> 00:25:26,770 Until I met you, my son. 493 00:25:26,805 --> 00:25:28,440 Oh my God. 494 00:25:28,474 --> 00:25:31,609 It was so beautiful to meet you both today. 495 00:25:31,643 --> 00:25:34,711 Just to look at you-- You and your sister. 496 00:25:36,146 --> 00:25:39,015 I just ate a marijuana cookie a little while ago 497 00:25:39,049 --> 00:25:41,083 and my hearing may be off. 498 00:25:41,117 --> 00:25:43,418 Did you just say thar Rose is my sister? 499 00:25:43,453 --> 00:25:46,120 Yes, and she's gorgeous. 500 00:25:46,155 --> 00:25:48,723 She looks just like my mother. 501 00:25:49,591 --> 00:25:51,525 ( Crying ) 502 00:25:51,559 --> 00:25:53,377 ( Music playing ) 503 00:25:53,378 --> 00:25:56,278 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 504 00:25:56,363 --> 00:25:59,865 ♪ On the ferris wheel ♪ 505 00:25:59,900 --> 00:26:03,702 ♪ looking out on Coney Island ♪ 506 00:26:03,736 --> 00:26:07,305 ♪ under more stars than ♪ 507 00:26:07,339 --> 00:26:10,875 ♪ there are prostitutes in Thailand ♪ 508 00:26:10,909 --> 00:26:14,444 ♪ our hair in the air ♪ 509 00:26:14,479 --> 00:26:18,114 ♪ our lips blue from cotton candy ♪ 510 00:26:18,148 --> 00:26:21,684 ♪ when we kiss it feels ♪ 511 00:26:21,718 --> 00:26:25,387 ♪ like a flying saucer landing ♪ 512 00:26:25,421 --> 00:26:28,756 ♪ and I can't sleep ♪ 513 00:26:28,790 --> 00:26:32,592 ♪ 'cause you've got strange powers ♪ 514 00:26:32,627 --> 00:26:35,495 ♪ you're in my dreams ♪ 515 00:26:35,529 --> 00:26:37,263 ♪ ooh ooh ♪ 516 00:26:37,298 --> 00:26:40,866 ♪ strange powers ♪ 517 00:26:40,900 --> 00:26:44,269 ♪ the sun pours down like honey ♪ 518 00:26:44,303 --> 00:26:47,471 ♪ the stars fall down like money ♪ 519 00:26:47,506 --> 00:26:50,874 ♪ you come down to me ♪ 520 00:26:50,908 --> 00:26:54,310 ♪ and I can't sleep ♪ 521 00:26:54,344 --> 00:26:57,780 ♪ 'cause you got strange powers ♪ 522 00:26:57,814 --> 00:27:00,048 ♪ you're in my dreams... ♪