1 00:00:01,402 --> 00:00:03,371 - IT'S MY NEW INTERVIEW OUTFIT. 2 00:00:03,404 --> 00:00:05,139 LIKE, "HEY, NICE TO MEET YOU. 3 00:00:05,173 --> 00:00:06,240 CAN'T WAIT FOR THE INTERVIEW." 4 00:00:06,274 --> 00:00:07,575 - UM, I--MAYBE THE H-- 5 00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:09,177 MAYBE THE HAT. - YEAH. 6 00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:10,111 - LOSE THIS? 7 00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:12,246 TO WIN AN ELECTION, YOU HAVE TO BE GOOD, 8 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:13,247 AND YOU HAVE TO BE LUCKY. 9 00:00:13,281 --> 00:00:15,383 BUDDY WOOD HOSTS THE NUMBER-ONE MORNING SHOW 10 00:00:15,416 --> 00:00:16,784 IN INDIANAPOLIS, 11 00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:19,287 AND HE WANTS TO INTERVIEW ME FOR A SERIES HE'S DOING 12 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:20,788 ON LOCAL ELECTIONS. 13 00:00:20,821 --> 00:00:23,591 AND LAST YEAR THE FIVE PEOPLE THAT HE PROFILED ALL WON. 14 00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:25,259 THIS IS A HUGE BREAK FOR US. 15 00:00:25,293 --> 00:00:27,161 - UM...HEY. 16 00:00:27,195 --> 00:00:29,563 M-MAYBE WE SHOULD PUT A PAUSE ON THE FASHION SHOW. 17 00:00:29,597 --> 00:00:31,365 WE HAVE TO GO OVER YOUR TALKING POINTS. 18 00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:33,367 - KEEP GOING. I CAN STILL HEAR YOU. 19 00:00:33,401 --> 00:00:36,137 - UM, OKAY, MS. KNOPE, WHAT IS GOING TO BE 20 00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:38,372 YOUR FIRST MAJOR PUBLIC WORKS PROJECT? 21 00:00:38,406 --> 00:00:39,440 - OH, I DON'T KNOW. 22 00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:42,843 BUT I BET THESE PANTS WILL WORK FOR THE PUBLIC. 23 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:45,146 - WHOO! - YEAH, THOSE PANTS LOOK DOPE! 24 00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:47,348 - RIGHT? - OH, MY GOD, THOSE LOOK GREAT. 25 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,117 AND I BET THEY LOOK EVEN BETTER ON BEN'S FLOOR. 26 00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:50,584 - OH! - ARE YOU HITTING ON LESLIE... 27 00:00:50,618 --> 00:00:51,585 FOR ME? 28 00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:52,586 - WAIT A SECOND. 29 00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:54,122 JUST TURN AROUND. 30 00:00:54,155 --> 00:00:55,489 - WHAT? 31 00:00:55,523 --> 00:00:56,857 - OH. 32 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,259 - IT SAYS "NYMPHO" ON THE BUTT 33 00:00:58,292 --> 00:00:59,493 IN SILVER, SPARKLY LETTERS. 34 00:00:59,527 --> 00:01:01,495 NYMPHO MEANS YOU'RE ADDICTED TO SEX, 35 00:01:01,529 --> 00:01:02,330 AND SINCE IT'S ON THE BUTT, 36 00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:04,398 THERE'S OTHER IMPLICATIONS AS WELL. 37 00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:06,267 SO THOSE ARE A MAYBE. 38 00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:09,270 [upbeat music] 39 00:01:09,303 --> 00:01:17,311 * 40 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:28,889 - WHO WAS LAURA MULVEY? 41 00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:31,259 - LAURA MULVEY WAS... 42 00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:32,860 A GUY... - GIRL. 43 00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:34,295 - RIGHT. WOMEN'S STUDIES. 44 00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:35,329 THEY'RE ALL GIRLS. 45 00:01:35,363 --> 00:01:38,232 LAURA MULVEY WAS A FEMINIST FILM CRITIC WHO... 46 00:01:38,266 --> 00:01:39,533 WROTE A MAJOR ESSAY THAT HELPED SHIFT 47 00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:42,503 THE ORIENTATION OF FILM THEORY 48 00:01:42,536 --> 00:01:44,405 TO THE PSYCHOANALYTICAL FRAMEWORK! 49 00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:46,240 TREAT, PLEASE. 50 00:01:46,274 --> 00:01:47,441 I'M ABOUT TO TAKE MY FIRST-EVER FINAL 51 00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:48,542 FOR MY WOMEN'S STUDIES CLASS. 52 00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:49,543 TREAT! 53 00:01:49,577 --> 00:01:51,145 - USUALLY, TESTS SCARE ME, 54 00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:53,214 BUT THIS IS AN ORAL EXAM. 55 00:01:53,247 --> 00:01:56,917 UH, AND IF THERE'S ONE THING I KNOW IS-- 56 00:01:56,950 --> 00:02:00,554 MY FANTASTIC-- IT'S TALK. 57 00:02:00,588 --> 00:02:02,523 GOD, I DON'T KNOW. MAN, I'M SO NERVOUS. 58 00:02:02,556 --> 00:02:04,425 I KNOW--I'M JUST GONNA CALL THE PROFESSOR, 59 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:05,626 AND THEN I'M GONNA GET ON THE PHONE 60 00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:07,228 AND MAKE SOME FAKE BARFING SOUNDS, 61 00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:08,929 AND THEN I'M JUST GONNA BAIL, SO GIVE ME MY PHONE. 62 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,431 - NO! ANDREW... 63 00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,533 THAT'S NOW HOW GROWN-UPS HANDLE TOUGH SITUATIONS. 64 00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:15,436 - WELL, I-- - WE FACE OUR FEARS HEAD-ON. 65 00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,305 - TOLD YOU--IF YOU CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT SOME WOMAN DID, 66 00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:19,807 JUST TEAR UP AND SAY, "SHE CHANGED MY LIFE." 67 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,276 - AH, THAT'S A GOOD CALL. 68 00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:23,577 - I THINK THIS IS IT. 69 00:02:23,611 --> 00:02:25,946 BUT DO I NEED A HAT, LIKE A BOWLER, 70 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,481 OR AN EDGY SCARF? 71 00:02:27,515 --> 00:02:28,916 NO, THOSE ENDLESS SCARVES 72 00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:30,083 THAT COME OUT OF YOUR SLEEVES LIKE A MAGICIAN. 73 00:02:30,117 --> 00:02:33,287 - UM...I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST GO WITH SOMETHING BASIC-- 74 00:02:33,321 --> 00:02:34,288 NO NONSENSE. 75 00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:35,523 [cell phone rings] 76 00:02:35,556 --> 00:02:36,957 MR. WOOD, HELLO. 77 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:39,860 - GOD, HE IS MORE TIGHTLY WOUND THAN EVER. 78 00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:41,862 - MAYBE WE SHOULD SEE IF HE CAN PULL THAT ROD OUT OF HIS BUTT 79 00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:43,431 AND WE CAN HANG SOME OF THOSE OUTFITS ON IT. 80 00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:44,398 - [giggles] 81 00:02:44,432 --> 00:02:46,467 - ANN AND I HAVE THE OCCASIONAL ROUGH PATCH 82 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,336 IN OUR RELATIONSHIP. 83 00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:50,971 BUT RIGHT NOW, WE'RE REALLY IN A GROOVE. 84 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:53,607 WE'VE GONE 30 HOURS WITHOUT BREAKING UP. 85 00:02:53,641 --> 00:02:55,976 OUR PERSONAL BEST IS 47 HOURS. 86 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:58,379 IT HAPPENED WHEN SHE WAS OUT OF TOWN FOR TWO DAYS 87 00:02:58,412 --> 00:03:00,848 AND SHE FORGOT WE WERE DATING. 88 00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:02,850 - WELL, LET ME KNOW IF ANYTHING CHANGES. 89 00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:04,618 THANK YOU. 90 00:03:04,652 --> 00:03:05,919 [sighs] 91 00:03:05,953 --> 00:03:07,655 INTERVIEW'S OFF. all: WHAT? 92 00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,423 - BUDDY HAS TO FLY BACK TO INDIANAPOLIS EARLY-- 93 00:03:09,457 --> 00:03:11,559 SOMETHING ABOUT A FACTORY EXPLOSION. 94 00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:13,227 - COME ON, DID ANYONE EVEN GET HURT? 95 00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:14,528 SORRY. 96 00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:16,897 - FIRST STROKE OF LUCK WE'VE HAD, AND IT'S GONE. 97 00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:19,333 OKAY, WELL, WE JUST HAVE TO WORK HARDER. 98 00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:20,934 I MEAN, GOOD NEWS IS, WE CAN CALL IT A NIGHT 99 00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:23,537 AND GET A SUPER-EARLY START ON OUR DOOR-TO-DOOR TOMORROW. 100 00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:25,005 - OOH, THAT IS GREAT NEWS. 101 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,308 AND, YOU KNOW, WE MIGHT EVEN BE ABLE TO MAKE IT BACK 102 00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:28,376 IN TIME FOR BORING CLUB. 103 00:03:28,409 --> 00:03:30,311 DO YOU KNOW WHO THE PRESIDENT OR BORING CLUB IS? 104 00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:31,545 - ME? 105 00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:33,314 - NOPE... YOU LOST THE ELECTION 106 00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:34,848 'CAUSE YOUR SPEECH WAS TOO BORING. 107 00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:36,584 - HEY, WHY DON'T WE ALL GO GET A DRINK, 108 00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:37,985 BLOW OFF SOME STEAM? 109 00:03:38,018 --> 00:03:39,887 EVERYBODY'S BEEN WORKING SO HARD. 110 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,356 - UM...WELL, WE'RE IN THE HOMESTRETCH HERE, 111 00:03:42,390 --> 00:03:44,458 AND LOSING THAT INTERVIEW DIDN'T HELP. 112 00:03:44,492 --> 00:03:46,260 I'M GONNA GO OVER SOME POLLING NUMBERS 113 00:03:46,294 --> 00:03:47,295 AND TURN IN EARLY. 114 00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:48,562 I SUGGEST YOU DO THE SAME. 115 00:03:48,596 --> 00:03:50,631 - HEY, LESLIE, GIVE YOU A RIDE HOME? 116 00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,400 - AH, SCREW IT. 117 00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:54,668 I GOT A NEW OUTFIT. MY HAIR LOOKS AMAZING. 118 00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:57,371 AND I HAVE A SERIOUS EXCESS OF PRE-INTERVIEW ADRENALINE. 119 00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:58,672 WHO'S GONNA DRINK WITH ME? 120 00:03:58,706 --> 00:04:00,874 - OOH... - OH... 121 00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:02,843 - SUSAN BRONWELL, OR B., ANTHONY-- 122 00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:05,346 WAS BORN IN ADAMS, MASSACHUSETTS, IN 1820, 123 00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:07,047 AND SHE PLAYED A PIVOTAL ROLE 124 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,283 IN THE INSTITUTION OF WOMEN'S SUFFRAGE. 125 00:04:09,317 --> 00:04:10,651 TREAT, PLEASE. - ANDY--ANDY, SLOW DOWN. 126 00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:12,453 YOU'RE TAKING THIS CLASS PASS/FAIL. 127 00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:15,356 SO I'M JUST LOOKING FOR A FREEWHEELING DISCUSSION 128 00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:17,325 ABOUT, YOU KNOW, WHAT YOU GOT FROM THE CLASS. 129 00:04:17,358 --> 00:04:18,659 - OH. OKAY. 130 00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:22,896 [chuckles] I WOULD SAY WHAT I FIND VERY COOL 131 00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:25,999 ABOUT SUSAN B. ANTHONY IS... 132 00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:28,001 HOW... 133 00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:31,539 SHE WAS BORN IN ADAMS, MASSACHUSETTS, 134 00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:33,374 IN 1820. 135 00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:34,508 YOU KNOW? 136 00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:36,610 JUST ONE MAN'S OPINION. 137 00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:38,579 I PASSED! I GOT A "P"! 138 00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,881 - CONGRATS, BABE. - YEAH! MMM! 139 00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:44,485 I WAS HOPING FOR A P-PLUS, BUT THAT DOES NOT EXIST. 140 00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:45,886 RIGHT? - RIGHT. 141 00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:47,955 - YES, SO, BASICALLY, BEST GRADE IN THE CLASS-- 142 00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:49,357 TIED FOR THE BEST GRADE IN THE CLASS. 143 00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:51,892 RON, I AM A COLLEGE GRADUATE NOW. 144 00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:53,594 - NO, YOU'RE NOT. - I'M A COLLEGE COURSE... 145 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,429 GRADUATE, AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU. 146 00:04:55,463 --> 00:04:56,864 - IT'S MY PLEASURE, SON. 147 00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:58,366 I'M REALLY PROUD OF YOU. 148 00:04:58,399 --> 00:04:59,500 HOW ABOUT A STEAK? 149 00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:01,602 - YEAH! - YOU GUYS HAVE A GOOD TIME. 150 00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,471 - OH, PROFESSOR, WHY DON'T YOU COME WITH US? 151 00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:04,605 IS THAT COOL? - SURE. 152 00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,540 - WE'LL LET YOU PAY FOR YOUR OWN FOOD, 153 00:05:06,574 --> 00:05:08,008 BECAUSE OF EQUALITY. 154 00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:09,977 - I GUESS NOW THAT THE CLASS IS OVER, 155 00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:11,612 THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT. 156 00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:13,947 - ARE YOU GONNA WEAR THAT? 157 00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,549 - OKAY, I'M CALLING IT. 158 00:05:15,583 --> 00:05:17,918 I HAVE A DATE WITH MY BATHTUB, 159 00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:20,087 A GLASS OF RED WINE, 160 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,490 AND A GIGANTIC FIREMAN NAMED MARCUS. 161 00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:24,992 - I'M GONNA KEEP PLUGGING AWAY FOR A BIT. 162 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,062 - YOU DON'T MIND THIS WORK, DO YOU? 163 00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:31,932 - UH-UH. I LIKE IT. 164 00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:35,703 IT MAKES SENSE TO ME. 165 00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:41,542 - MMM. THIS WAS SUCH A GOOD IDEA. 166 00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:42,543 SHOULD WE GET ANOTHER ROUND? 167 00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:44,445 - UM... I THINK WE SHOULD GET 168 00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:46,914 A MORE BASIC, NO-NONSENSE BEVERAGE. 169 00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:48,148 [laughter] 170 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,150 - UH...MAYBE WE SHOULD ALL JUST DRINK 171 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,952 SENSIBLE PORTIONS OF MILK. 172 00:05:51,985 --> 00:05:53,921 - I MEAN, I LOVE HIM. IT'S JUST... 173 00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:57,491 THIS CAMPAIGN HAS TURNED FUN, DORKY BEN 174 00:05:57,525 --> 00:06:01,395 INTO GRUMPY, STRESS-BALL BEN. - MM. 175 00:06:01,429 --> 00:06:03,431 - IT'S LIKE DEALING WITH A STRICT MOTHER 176 00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:07,401 WHO I AM CONFUSINGLY ATTRACTED TO. 177 00:06:07,435 --> 00:06:09,002 - MM. - BEN IS LIKE A MILF. 178 00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:11,004 - YOU JUST NEED TO BLOW OFF SOME STEAM. 179 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:12,606 HE SHOULD JUST GET THAT. - YEAH. 180 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,174 - YOU'RE LESLIE KNOPE! - RIGHT! 181 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,544 - NO ONE TAKES THIS MORE SERIOUSLY THAN YOU DO! 182 00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:18,178 - TELL ME ABOUT IT! - YES! 183 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:21,048 - TEQUILA SHOTS? all: OHH! 184 00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:23,083 - TO KNOPE 2012. 185 00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:24,518 - MM. 186 00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:25,553 - AHH. 187 00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:26,987 - DING-DONG. 188 00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:28,522 [cell phone rings] OH. 189 00:06:28,556 --> 00:06:29,523 HELLO. LADY KNOPE. 190 00:06:29,557 --> 00:06:30,524 I MEAN LESLIE KNOPE. 191 00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:32,726 - HEY. - OH, HEY, BEN. 192 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,061 - WHERE ARE YOU? 193 00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:36,530 - I'M IN, UH, THE HOUSE WATCHING TV RIGHT NOW. 194 00:06:36,564 --> 00:06:38,666 I'M WATCHING, UM... - MURDER SHE WROTE. 195 00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:40,668 - MURDER SHE WROTE. I'M WATCHING MURDER SHE WROTE. 196 00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:43,637 - AMAZING NEWS--BUDDY WOOD'S FLIGHT WAS DELAYED. 197 00:06:43,671 --> 00:06:45,205 SO, IF WE CAN GET TO THE AIRPORT RIGHT NOW, 198 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,507 THE INTERVIEW'S BACK ON. 199 00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:48,909 - WHAT? WOW! 200 00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:50,978 WHAT COULD BE WRONG WITH THAT? 201 00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:52,079 NOTHING. 202 00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:53,547 ANYWAY, HERE COMES ME... 203 00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:54,915 TO THE AIRPORT. - GREAT. 204 00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:57,017 I'LL SEE YOU THERE... AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. 205 00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:58,085 - OKAY, BYE. 206 00:06:58,118 --> 00:06:59,186 THE INTERVIEW IS BACK ON! 207 00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:01,188 - WHOO! YES! - I KNOW! 208 00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:03,691 WE ARE SO "DRUCKY." I MEAN "LUNKY." 209 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,532 - OKAY, BOTH THE CABS IN THIS TOWN ARE BUSY. 210 00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:13,701 BUT I STILL HAD EIGHT HOURS RENTAL TIME 211 00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:16,069 ON THAT HOT-TUB LIMOUSINE THAT I GOT FOR YOUR CAMPAIGN EVENT, 212 00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:18,071 AND IT'S ON ITS WAY. - THAT'S SMART. 213 00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:19,540 YOU'RE SMART. 214 00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:21,742 both: DIDDLY DIDDLY DIDDLY DIDDLY SWAG. 215 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,111 - YOU DID IT RIGHT! - I DID IT RIGHT. 216 00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:25,212 - AH! - HA HA! 217 00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:27,648 - 33 HOURS. 218 00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:30,250 - OKAY, LOOK, THIS INTERVIEW IS A BIG DEAL, YOU GUYS. 219 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,653 THIS IS A GAME CHANGER, OKAY? I HAVE TO DO WELL. 220 00:07:32,686 --> 00:07:34,988 - LISTEN, LET'S DO PRACTICE INTERVIEW... 221 00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:36,089 - BIG IDEA, ANN. 222 00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:38,626 - AND SEE HOW YOU DO. - LET'S GO. 223 00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:41,261 - [Russian accent] LESLIE, IN YOUR HUMBLE OPINION... 224 00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:42,630 - [laughing] - WHAT? 225 00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:46,066 - WHY ARE YOU FROM RUSSIA? - I DON'T KNOW. 226 00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:48,035 - HEY, RON IS THE GUY I WROTE ABOUT 227 00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:51,038 FOR THAT PAPER ON POSITIVE MALE ROLE MODELS. 228 00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:53,707 - OH, YEAH, THAT WAS ONE OF YOUR MOST READABLE PAPERS. 229 00:07:53,741 --> 00:07:56,644 ACCORDING TO ANDY, YOU'RE QUITE THE FEMINIST. 230 00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:59,046 - I DON'T CONSIDER MYSELF AN ANYTHING-IST, 231 00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:02,015 BUT MY LIFE HAS BEEN SHAPED BY POWERFUL WOMEN. 232 00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:04,217 MY FATHER ONCE TOLD MY MOTHER 233 00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:06,219 THAT WOMAN WAS MADE FROM THE RIB OF ADAM, 234 00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:08,556 AND MY MOM BROKE HIS JAW. 235 00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:09,690 MY UNCLE LON ONCE TRIED TO... 236 00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:11,124 - IS THAT CHRIS? 237 00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:13,060 - YOU KNOW, IT REALLY LOOKS LIKE HIM. 238 00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:15,128 BUT THERE'S NO WAY TO KNOW FOR SURE. 239 00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:17,197 WE SHOULD ASK HIM TOMORROW. 240 00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:20,133 - HEY. 241 00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:21,535 - APRIL LUDGATE. 242 00:08:21,569 --> 00:08:23,236 - WHY ARE YOU HERE EATING ALONE? 243 00:08:23,270 --> 00:08:26,139 - I'M NOT. I'M SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS... 244 00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,541 FRIENDS I DON'T KNOW YET. 245 00:08:27,575 --> 00:08:30,043 AND I'M ENGROSSED IN THIS BOOK. 246 00:08:30,077 --> 00:08:32,045 IT'S THE TRUE STORY OF A WOMAN BORN 247 00:08:32,079 --> 00:08:33,647 WITH NO ARMS AND NO LEGS 248 00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:35,683 WHO ATTEMPTED TO SWIM THE ENGLISH CHANNEL. 249 00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:38,218 - THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. - OH, SHE DROWNED IMMEDIATELY. 250 00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:39,953 IT'S KIND OF A SAD STORY. 251 00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:41,622 - COOL. 252 00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:44,558 I'M OVER THERE WITH PEOPLE YOU ACTUALLY KNOW... 253 00:08:44,592 --> 00:08:46,059 IF YOU WANT TO COME JOIN US. 254 00:08:46,093 --> 00:08:48,061 - THANK YOU. 255 00:08:48,095 --> 00:08:49,730 BYE, FRIEND. 256 00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:51,064 - BYE. 257 00:08:55,268 --> 00:08:57,671 - I'M SORRY, MARCUS, I'M GONNA HAVE TO CANCEL OUR BATH. 258 00:08:57,705 --> 00:08:59,272 SOMETHING INTERESTING IS HAPPENING. 259 00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:00,774 I WANT TO WATCH IT. 260 00:09:00,808 --> 00:09:01,975 I DON'T KNOW, MARCUS. 261 00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:04,144 I'LL HIT YOU UP WHEN I HIT YOU UP. 262 00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:16,223 - WOW, I FEEL TOTALLY NORMAL. I'M READY TO DO THIS. 263 00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:19,092 - THANK YOU FOR ACCOMMODATING US ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE. 264 00:09:19,126 --> 00:09:20,994 - HEY, FOR LESLIE KNOPE, ANYTIME. 265 00:09:21,028 --> 00:09:22,663 JUST LET ME KNOW IF YOU NEED ANYTHING ELSE, ALL RIGHT? 266 00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:25,065 - THANKS, PAUL. HEY, YOU GOT THOSE NEW I.D. BADGES. 267 00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:26,667 - THEY FINALLY UPGRADED US-- 268 00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,769 SECURITY SWIPE AND EVERYTHING. - WOW, LOOK AT THAT. 269 00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,237 - [laughs] YEAH. - SORRY. 270 00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:31,705 - HEY, THANKS AGAIN FOR FIGHTING FOR THEM. 271 00:09:31,739 --> 00:09:33,340 - "HELPY" TO HOP OUT. 272 00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:35,242 - LESLIE KNOPE. BUDDY WOOD. 273 00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:37,010 - BUDDY WOOD. - GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT. 274 00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:37,811 - GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT. 275 00:09:37,845 --> 00:09:38,846 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE, 276 00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:41,181 AND WELCOME TO THE GREATEST CITY IN THE WORLD. 277 00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:43,283 - OH. [laughs] 278 00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:45,619 OH, I'M SORRY. YOU'RE BEING SERIOUS. 279 00:09:45,653 --> 00:09:47,320 WE'RE SETTING UP OVER THERE, FOUND A SMALL PIECE OF CARPET 280 00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:49,990 WITHOUT A HORRIFYING SMELLSCAPE. 281 00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:51,158 - I'LL BE RIGHT THERE. 282 00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:52,392 HEY, DO I SEEM NORMAL TO YOU? 283 00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:53,994 LIKE, DOES EVERYTHING SEEM FINE? 284 00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:55,228 - YEAH, YEAH--YOU SEEM FINE. - I SEEM OKAY? 285 00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:56,329 - UH-HUH. - I DON'T SEEM DISTRACTED 286 00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:57,330 OR BABBLY OR ANYTHING? 287 00:09:57,364 --> 00:09:59,700 - NO, IT'S GREAT. SO YOU'RE GONNA DO GREAT. 288 00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:02,102 - YOU'RE GONNA DO SMART. - WHAT'S THAT? 289 00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:03,737 - LOOK WHO I FOUND. - HI. 290 00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,005 - PROFESSOR LINDA, THIS IS CHRIS. 291 00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:06,740 CHRIS, THIS IS... - PROFESSOR LINDA? 292 00:10:06,774 --> 00:10:08,676 IT IS A GENUINE PLEASURE TO MEET YOU. 293 00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:10,010 - OH, YOU AS WELL. - HI, THERE. 294 00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:11,311 WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR OUR SPECIALS? 295 00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:12,345 - NO NEED. 296 00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:14,014 PORTERHOUSE, RARE, QUICKLY. 297 00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:15,348 - SAME. 298 00:10:15,382 --> 00:10:17,084 - I'LL HAVE THE, UH, SPINACH SALAD. 299 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,351 WHAT KIND OF DRESSINGS DO YOU HAVE? 300 00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:19,987 - OH! LINDA, IN CASE YOU'RE INTERESTED, 301 00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:21,221 I BROUGHT MY OWN DRESSING. 302 00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:22,790 - YOU REALLY CAN'T BE DOING THAT. 303 00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:24,257 - WELL, THIS IS THE LAST TIME. I PROMISE. 304 00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:26,159 IT CONTAINS EXTRA-VIRGIN OLIVE OIL, 305 00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:28,295 A LITTLE BIT OF LEMON, AND HINT OF TURMERIC. 306 00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:29,629 - SOUNDS GREAT. 307 00:10:32,432 --> 00:10:34,167 - PAWNEE, INDIANA, 308 00:10:34,201 --> 00:10:36,403 HOME TO THE SWEETUMS CANDY CORPORATION, 309 00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:39,807 19 TOXIC-WASTE REPOSITORIES, AND NOT MUCH ELSE. 310 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,274 THIS SLEEPY MINI-METROPOLIS 311 00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:44,077 IS THE SITE OF A FASCINATING CITY COUNCIL RACE. 312 00:10:44,111 --> 00:10:46,213 JOINING US TODAY IS ONE OF THE CANDIDATES, LESLIE KNOPE. 313 00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:48,816 LESLIE, WELCOME... TO GOOD MORNING. 314 00:10:48,849 --> 00:10:50,751 - IT'S MY PLEASURE. 315 00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:53,186 THANK YOU FOR BEING ON MY SHOW. 316 00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:56,023 - LESLIE, WE'RE HERE AT THE PAWNEE MUNICIPAL AIRPORT, 317 00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:59,760 WHICH I MUST ADD IS... RATHER DECREPIT. 318 00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:01,829 - WELL, I'M GLAD YOU MENTIONED IT. 319 00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:04,364 IT IS IN DESPERATE NEED OF REFURBISHMENTS. 320 00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:06,834 AND THAT IS WHY I'M GOING TO MAKE IT A CENTERPIECE 321 00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:09,102 OF MY PLATFORM. - OKAY. 322 00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:11,404 - TAKE, UH... JOE APPLEDEMAS OVER THERE. 323 00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:12,706 JOE, SAY HI. 324 00:11:12,740 --> 00:11:13,640 - HELLO. 325 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:16,143 - JOE HAS BEEN WORKING HERE SINCE 1996, 326 00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,011 AND HIS SALARY HAS NOT BEEN RAISED A NICKEL. 327 00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:19,379 I AM GONNA WORK VERY HARD TO CHANGE-- 328 00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:23,751 - OKAY, THIS AIRPORT SEEMS TO ME LIKE A METAPHOR. 329 00:11:23,784 --> 00:11:25,252 ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH THE TERM? 330 00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:28,288 PAWNEE'S AIRPORT IS SYMBOLIC OF THE TOWN-- 331 00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:31,058 OUT OF TOUCH, OUT OF DATE, PERHAPS, 332 00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:33,326 LOST, INSIGNIFICANT, 333 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,262 AND SAD. 334 00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:37,064 YOUR THOUGHTS? 335 00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:38,832 - WELL, GRANTED, 336 00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:40,433 WE DON'T HAVE BIG-CITY AMENITIES, 337 00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:42,035 BUT I THINK WE MORE THAN MAKE UP FOR IT 338 00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:44,337 WITH FRIENDLY FACES AND HAND-WORKING HARDS-- 339 00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:45,405 HARDWORKING HANDS. 340 00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:47,240 - IF YOU SAY SO. I SAY IT'S SAD. 341 00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:49,176 MOVING ON... 342 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:52,045 - OH, MY GOD. 343 00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:53,013 IF THEY GOT TOGETHER, 344 00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,115 THEY WOULD MAKE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SUPER BABY. 345 00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:57,117 IT WOULD RULE US ALL. 346 00:11:57,150 --> 00:12:00,854 BUT WHAT IF SUPER BABY BECAME TOO POWERFUL? 347 00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:03,123 - I GUESS WE'LL JUST HAVE TO TAKE THAT CHANCE. 348 00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:05,125 CHRIS GOT DUMPED BY JERRY'S DAUGHTER. 349 00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:07,227 HE NEEDS THIS. 350 00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:09,162 PLUS, IF THEY GET MARRIED, 351 00:12:09,196 --> 00:12:10,363 HE'LL SPEND ALL HIS TIME WITH HER, 352 00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:13,801 AND I MIGHT NEVER HAVE TO TALK TO HIM AGAIN. 353 00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:15,335 HMM. 354 00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:17,504 PROFESSOR LINDA, YOU HAVE... 355 00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:19,206 REALLY NICE ARMS. 356 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,540 - OH? - DO YOU WORK OUT? 357 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,309 - I WAS GONNA SAY THE EXACT SAME THING. 358 00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:25,045 BUT I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO THINK THAT I WAS OBJECTIFYING YOU 359 00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:26,446 WITH MY MALE GAZE. 360 00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:27,447 MAY I SEE? 361 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:28,548 - OH, SURE. 362 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,550 - OH, MY GOOD GRACIOUS. YOU HAVE... 363 00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,286 EXTRAORDINARY CAPUT LATERALE. - THANK YOU. 364 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,455 - THERE'S NOTHING MORE IMPORTANT THAN PHYSICAL HEALTH. 365 00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:37,190 - I AGREE. - KENDRA? 366 00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:38,158 - YES? - YOU KNOW WHAT? 367 00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:40,427 I AM GONNA HAVE THAT THIRD STEAK AFTER ALL. 368 00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:43,563 GO AHEAD AND PUT THAT ORDER IN NOW, PLEASE, AND THANK YOU. 369 00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:45,332 - YOUR CAMPAIGN HIT A SNAG OF SORTS, 370 00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:47,534 WITH THE REVELATION THAT YOU AND YOUR BOSS, BEN WYATT, 371 00:12:47,567 --> 00:12:50,070 WERE HAVING UNE AFFAIRE DE COEUR-- 372 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:51,338 AFFAIR OF THE HEART. 373 00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:52,873 - WELL, I'VE DISCUSSED THAT MANY TIMES, 374 00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:54,474 AND THERE'S REALLY NOTHING MORE TO SAY. 375 00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:56,309 I WOULD RATHER TALK ABOUT THE WAYS 376 00:12:56,343 --> 00:12:58,045 TO SOLVE PROBLEMS IN THIS TOWN. 377 00:12:58,078 --> 00:12:59,312 - [chuckles] GOOD LUCK WITH THAT. 378 00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:01,181 BUT GETTING BACK TO YOUR AFFAIR WITH BEN WYATT, 379 00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:02,582 WHO'S NOW YOUR CAMPAIGN MANAGER... 380 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,217 - BUDDY, FRANKLY, I DON'T WANT TO DISCUSS THAT. 381 00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:06,319 BUT IF YOU'D LIKE, WE CAN TALK ABOUT WAYS 382 00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:09,222 THAT I CAN IMPROVE THE AIRPORT OR OUR MANY WONDERFUL PARKS. 383 00:13:09,256 --> 00:13:10,157 - I DON'T. 384 00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:11,524 I'D LIKE TO TALK ABOUT YOU AND BEN WYATT. 385 00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:14,127 - UH-OH. I KNOW THAT LOOK. 386 00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:15,328 - SHE'S GOT THE CRAZY EYES. - YEAH. 387 00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:16,429 - WELL, LIKE I SAID, 388 00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:18,165 I DON'T WANT TO DISCUSS IT, BUDDY, 389 00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:20,167 AND, FRANKLY, I DON'T APPRECIATE YOUR CONDESCENDING TONE. 390 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,168 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? 391 00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:23,236 I'VE HAD A COUPLE DRINKS, SO WHAT THE HELL? 392 00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:24,571 BEN AND I FIRST... 393 00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:26,439 - I'M SORRY, MS. KNOPE, 394 00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:28,375 ARE YOU INEBRIATED? 395 00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:30,610 - WHAT? NO. PREPOSTEROUS. 396 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,846 ARE YOU INE-- [hiccups]--EBRIATED? 397 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,381 THAT WAS BAD TIMING. 398 00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:37,150 THIS IS A BUDDY WOOD FIRST-- AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW 399 00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:38,618 WITH POTENTIAL CITY COUNCILWOMAN LESLIE KNOPE, 400 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,553 WHO APPEARS TO BE DRUNK RIGHT NOW ON CAMERA. 401 00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:42,255 - I AM NOT DRUNK. 402 00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:44,892 YES, WHEN YOU HAVE A JUMBO MARGARITA 403 00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:47,227 AND SOME FLAMING TEQUILA SHOTS, YOU CAN GET DRUNK. 404 00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:49,062 - IS IT THIS SAD, PATHETIC TOWN 405 00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:51,531 THAT MAKES YOU DRINK THIS WAY? 406 00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:54,334 - THISINTERVIEW IS OVER. - OKAY, MS. KNOPE. 407 00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:55,468 [chuckles] OH-- 408 00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,470 - THIS--THIS IS NOT BECAUSE I'M DRUNK. 409 00:13:57,504 --> 00:14:00,473 THIS IS BECAUSE OF THE WIRE. 410 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,542 - A FITTING END TO A BIZARRE INTERVIEW 411 00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:04,144 AND A SAD MOMENT 412 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,513 IN A DEPRESSING CITY WITH NO HOPE, 413 00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:10,317 IN THE WANING MOMENTS OF THE BITTER SAGA 414 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:13,453 THAT HAS BEEN A CONTENTIOUS CAMPAIGN. 415 00:14:15,655 --> 00:14:17,357 - COME ON, BUDDY, YOU CANNOT AIR THAT TAPE. 416 00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:19,159 - ARE YOU KIDDING? THIS IS AS GREAT FOR ME 417 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:20,627 AS IT IS TERRIBLE FOR YOU. 418 00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,229 THE SHEEP THAT WATCH MY SHOW 419 00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:24,464 ARE GONNA EAT THIS UP LIKE TIRAMISU. 420 00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:26,233 TIRAMISU IS AN ITALIAN DESSERT OFTEN-- 421 00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:27,367 - I KNOW WHAT TIRAMISU IS, OKAY? 422 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,436 AND SHEEP DON'T EAT IT. - SORRY, BUT... 423 00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:32,572 TOMORROW MORNING THIS GETS BROADCAST 424 00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:35,875 AROUND THE ENTIRE INDIANA-SPHERE. 425 00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:41,081 - THANK YOU FOR CELEBRATING 426 00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:45,118 THE MOST ULTIMATE TRIUMPH OF MY LIFE. 427 00:14:45,152 --> 00:14:49,522 I'M VERY PROUD OF ME, AND YOU ARE TOO. 428 00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:52,592 AND, PROFESSOR, I'M TAKING YOUR CLASS AGAIN NEXT SEMESTER. 429 00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:54,361 AND I'M GONNA LOCK DOWN THAT P-PLUS. 430 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,129 - IT'S IMPOSSIBLE. 431 00:14:56,163 --> 00:14:59,166 - YOU AND THE WOMEN TAUGHT ME THAT NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. 432 00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:00,333 - I BETTER BE GOING. 433 00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:01,434 I HAVE TO GET UP EARLY. - GOOD-BYE. 434 00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:03,636 - I'M TEACHING A MORNING ZUMBA CLASS FOR RETIREES. 435 00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:05,105 - [clears throat] 436 00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:07,240 - BEFORE I DO, 437 00:15:07,274 --> 00:15:09,542 LINDA, DO YOU ENJOY LAND KAYAKING? 438 00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:10,643 IT'S QUITE FUN. 439 00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:13,146 WELL, IT'S MORE GRUELING THAN FUN. 440 00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:14,614 BUT I WOULD LOVE TO TAKE YOU. 441 00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:16,216 - I'M REALLY FLATTERED, 442 00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:17,617 BUT I JUST GOT OUT OF A RELATIONSHIP, 443 00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:19,486 AND I THINK I NEED A LITTLE MORE TIME 444 00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:21,588 BEFORE I JUMP INTO ANYTHING. 445 00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:22,522 - OF COURSE. I UNDERSTAND. 446 00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:25,258 - I'M SORRY. - I APPRECIATE YOUR CAUTION. 447 00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:27,394 - THANK YOU. - I HOPE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 448 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,129 GOOD-BYE, EVERYONE. 449 00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:33,500 - ANYBODY WANT TO GO TO JJ'S FOR SOME AFTER-DINNER OMELETS? 450 00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:35,502 - OR HOW ABOUT YOU AND I GO BACK TO MY PLACE? 451 00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:37,137 - YES. 452 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:42,209 - WOW! 453 00:15:42,242 --> 00:15:45,178 - BEN, I AM SO SORRY. 454 00:15:45,212 --> 00:15:46,613 - LET'S JUST FOCUS ON THE PROBLEM. 455 00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:48,281 NOW, IF WE DON'T STOP THAT INTERVIEW 456 00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:50,517 FROM AIRING IN THE MORNING, THIS CAMPAIGN IS DEAD. 457 00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,152 SO... 458 00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:53,720 WE HAVE TO GO TO INDIANAPOLIS. 459 00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:56,123 - AND DO WHAT? - I DON'T KNOW, TOM. 460 00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:58,225 I GUESS WE'LL JUST SET FIRE TO THE STUDIO OR SOMETHING. 461 00:15:58,258 --> 00:15:59,692 - AH, THAT'S SO SWEET-- I'VE NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND 462 00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:02,195 THREATEN TO COMMIT ARSON FOR ME BEFORE. 463 00:16:02,229 --> 00:16:03,096 - AH, IT GETS OLD. 464 00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:04,331 - WE STILL HAVE SIX HOURS OF RENTAL TIME 465 00:16:04,364 --> 00:16:05,532 ON THE HOT-TUB LIMO. 466 00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:06,399 WE COULD TAKE THAT. 467 00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:08,135 NO ONE WOULD HAVE TO DRIVE ALL NIGHT. 468 00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:09,469 - THAT'S ACTUALLY A GOOD IDEA. 469 00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:11,738 - PLUS, IT ALLOWS FOR THE POSSIBILITY 470 00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:13,640 OF HIGH-SPEED SKINNY-DIPPING. 471 00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:15,575 - UGH. [scoffs] 472 00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:18,345 - ANN, I WAS JOKING. COME ON, IT WAS A JOKE. 473 00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:20,280 - [chuckling] IT WAS FUNNY. 474 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,581 - WHERE WE GOING, FOLKS-- 475 00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:23,283 DRIVE AROUND, HIT THE STRIP CLUBS? 476 00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:24,584 - YEAH! - NO. 477 00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:28,288 WE'RE GOING TO THIS ADDRESS IN INDIANAPOLIS. 478 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:30,290 - REALLY? - YEAH. 479 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:32,459 - YOU KNOW, NO ONE EVER USED THIS HOT-TUB LIMO 480 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:33,693 FOR ACTUAL TRANSPORTATION. 481 00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:35,428 AND I CAN'T TAKE THIS THING ON THE HIGHWAY, 482 00:16:35,462 --> 00:16:37,130 SO IT'LL TAKE A FEW EXTRA HOURS. 483 00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:38,265 - [grunts] 484 00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:39,699 - HEY, IS THIS A SEVEN OR A ONE? 485 00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:41,534 - [sighs] 486 00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:47,207 - JERRY. 487 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,709 JERRY! 488 00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:51,744 MAYBE YOU SHOULD WRAP IT UP. IT'S 4:00 IN THE MORNING. 489 00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:53,313 - IS IT REALLY? 490 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,482 [laughing] OH, MY GOSH. 491 00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,517 WOW. WELL, THAT FLEW BY, HUH? 492 00:16:57,550 --> 00:16:59,486 I WILL JUST TAKE THESE DOWN TO THE POST OFFICE 493 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:02,222 AND, UH, PUT THE, UH... 494 00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:06,426 OH, JEEZ. OH, NO. 495 00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:10,330 I PUT THE HANDOUT FLYERS IN THE MAILING ENVELOPES, 496 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:13,400 AND I WAS SUPPOSED TO PUT THESE FLYERS IN THE ENVELOPES. 497 00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:14,767 - OH... 498 00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:17,704 MY GOD. 499 00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:20,373 - WELL, YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE I ALWAYS SAY. 500 00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:24,244 IT AIN'T GOVERNMENT WORK IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT TWICE. 501 00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:25,278 HERE WE GO! 502 00:17:25,312 --> 00:17:27,147 [whistling] 503 00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:28,315 I'LL MAKE SOME COFFEE. 504 00:17:28,348 --> 00:17:30,283 - HEY, YOU'RE BLOCKING MY DRIVEWAY. 505 00:17:30,317 --> 00:17:32,219 [knocking on glass] 506 00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:34,387 LESLIE KNOPE? 507 00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:35,488 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - HI, UM... 508 00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:37,390 MR. WOOD, I'M SO SORRY. 509 00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:40,427 WE--OH, MY GOD, I CAN'T SEE. IT'S SO BRIGHT OUT HERE. 510 00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:43,296 - OHH. - WE DROVE HERE TO ASK YOU-- 511 00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:45,732 NO, TO BEG YOU TO PLEASE DESTROY THAT TAPE. 512 00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:47,534 - YEAH, I GOT YOUR 50 MESSAGES. 513 00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,669 - LESLIE WAS JUST OUT WITH HER FRIENDS BLOWING OFF SOME STEAM. 514 00:17:49,702 --> 00:17:51,471 - WHAT? - PLEASE. PLEASE. 515 00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:52,739 PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE. 516 00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:54,207 THAT'S FIVE PLEASES. 517 00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:55,275 - AS MUCH AS I ENJOY THE GROVELING, 518 00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:57,510 I CAN'T DESTROY THE TAPE BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE IT, 519 00:17:57,544 --> 00:18:00,347 BECAUSE YOUR SAD, TINY BACKWATER AIRPORT 520 00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:02,682 LOST MY BAGS. 521 00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:04,351 - OH, REALLY? 522 00:18:04,384 --> 00:18:05,652 - YOU'D THINK A COMMUTER AIRPORT 523 00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:07,620 COULD HANDLE THE LUGGAGE OF 11 PEOPLE AT ONCE, 524 00:18:07,654 --> 00:18:09,256 BUT APPARENTLY NOT. 525 00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:10,723 COMPLETELY RUINED A GREAT STORY. 526 00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:13,360 THANK GOD FOR THAT MITTEN FACTORY TRAGEDY. 527 00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:14,327 - YEAH. - MM. 528 00:18:14,361 --> 00:18:15,428 - GOD, THAT'S... - OKAY. 529 00:18:15,462 --> 00:18:17,164 - GREAT. UH... - WE SHOULD--YEAH. 530 00:18:17,197 --> 00:18:18,531 - WE'RE GONNA GO. - GOOD-BYE. 531 00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:24,704 - AH, SCREW IT. 532 00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:27,240 - YAY! [all cheer] 533 00:18:27,274 --> 00:18:29,209 FUN BEN LIVES. 534 00:18:29,242 --> 00:18:30,710 [all cheer] 535 00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:32,745 - [whistling] 536 00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,581 APRIL, ANDREW... 537 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:35,748 GOOD MORNING TO YOU BOTH. 538 00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,450 DOUGHNUTS-- GO NUTS. 539 00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:40,387 [Ron and Andy laughing] 540 00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:42,322 HEY, YOU KIDS NEED ANY MONEY? 541 00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:44,291 - NO. - GO BUY YOURSELF A WALKMAN. 542 00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:45,625 HOW MUCH IS A WALKMAN NOWADAYS? 543 00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:47,727 PROBABLY MORE THAN $20. HERE'S $25. 544 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,662 - HI, GUYS, I JUST WANTED TO COME BY 545 00:18:49,696 --> 00:18:52,432 AND THANK YOU FOR A PHENOMENAL EVENING. 546 00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:55,635 - YEAH, SEEMS LIKE WE ALL HAD A PHENOMENAL EVENING. 547 00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:57,204 - AND I SHOULD PROBABLY THANK YOU 548 00:18:57,237 --> 00:18:58,137 FOR INTRODUCING ME TO LINDA. 549 00:18:58,171 --> 00:19:00,540 I THINK WE HAD A DEEP EMOTIONAL CONNECTION 550 00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:02,475 THAT IS VERY WORTH EXPLORING. 551 00:19:02,509 --> 00:19:03,776 SO I'M GONNA ASK HER OUT AGAIN... 552 00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,445 WHEN SHE'S EMOTIONALLY READY. 553 00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:06,746 - HMM. - HEY, RON... 554 00:19:06,779 --> 00:19:09,549 GREAT RED SHIRT. 555 00:19:09,582 --> 00:19:12,652 - DUDE, RON...YOU HAVE TO TELL HIM WHAT HAPPENED. 556 00:19:12,685 --> 00:19:14,554 - WHY? IT'S NONE OF HIS BUSINESS. 557 00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:16,756 - BECAUSE HE'S BEEN SUPER SAD LATELY. 558 00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:19,392 IT KIND OF SEEMS LIKE YOU SHOULD AT LEAST GIVE HIM A HEADS-UP 559 00:19:19,426 --> 00:19:20,627 SO HE DOESN'T GET REJECTED AGAIN. 560 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:23,196 - I LIKE TO NOT GET INVOLVED IN THESE MATTERS 561 00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:25,598 OR ANY MATTERS OF ANY NATURE. 562 00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:27,467 - UH, YOU KNOW, RON, SOMEONE ONCE TOLD ME 563 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:30,770 THAT THIS IS NOT HOW GROWN-UPS DEAL WITH TOUGH SITUATIONS. 564 00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:33,406 WE FACE THEM HEAD-ON. 565 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,475 - [groans] 566 00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:38,245 FINE. 567 00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:40,247 - OH, MY GOD, RON... 568 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,549 IT WAS YOU WHO TOLD ME THAT. 569 00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:44,617 THAT'S CRAZY. 570 00:19:44,651 --> 00:19:45,752 [knock at door] 571 00:19:45,785 --> 00:19:47,420 - THERE'S THAT SHIRT. 572 00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:48,788 - LOOK, CHRIS... 573 00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:50,757 AFTER THE BAR LAST NIGHT, 574 00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:53,326 I... 575 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:57,330 ENGAGED IN CONSENSUAL ACTIVITIES WITH LINDA. 576 00:19:58,665 --> 00:20:00,633 - I SEE. - I DIDN'T PLAN IT. 577 00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:02,669 BUT IT OCCURRED. 578 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,337 NOW YOU KNOW. 579 00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:08,608 - WELL, THANK YOU FOR BEING FORTHRIGHT AND TELLING ME. 580 00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:11,278 YOU'RE A GOOD MAN, RON. 581 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,748 - [grunts] 582 00:20:15,782 --> 00:20:17,550 - I'M QUITE LONELY. 583 00:20:17,584 --> 00:20:19,486 - AH, [bleep]. 584 00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:21,521 - THEY SAY TO WIN AN ELECTION, 585 00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:24,324 YOU HAVE TO BE GOOD, AND YOU HAVE TO BE LUCKY. 586 00:20:24,357 --> 00:20:27,660 I GOT PRETTY DAMN LUCKY WHEN I MET BEN. 587 00:20:27,694 --> 00:20:29,762 AND I'M LUCKY THAT ANN AND TOM 588 00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:32,665 AND ALL MY OTHER FRIENDS VOLUNTEER TO HELP ME OUT. 589 00:20:32,699 --> 00:20:34,801 AND I'M SUPER LUCKY THAT THAT TAPE DISAPPEARED. 590 00:20:39,872 --> 00:20:43,710 I THINK WE MAY HAVE USED UP ALL OUR LUCK TONIGHT. 591 00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:45,845 ACTUALLY, NOT ALL OF IT. 592 00:20:45,878 --> 00:20:48,348 HE'S ABOUT TO GET LUCKY. 593 00:20:48,381 --> 00:20:49,549 IT'S--IT'S ON. 594 00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:50,683 HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW IT YET. 595 00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:55,054 - HEY. - HEY, SWEETHEART. 596 00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:56,623 I'M NOT SURE YOU'RE EVEN AWARE OF THIS, 597 00:20:56,656 --> 00:20:59,826 BUT WE HAVE NOW GONE 48 HOURS WITHOUT BREAKING UP, 598 00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:01,361 SHATTERING OUR PREVIOUS RECORD. 599 00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:02,662 - THAT'S NOT BAD. 600 00:21:02,695 --> 00:21:05,031 - TO CELEBRATE... - OH, PLEASE, DON'T. 601 00:21:05,064 --> 00:21:05,965 WHATEVER THIS IS, I DON'T WANT IT. 602 00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:09,068 - JUST A LITTLE 48-HOUR ANNIVERSARY GIFT. 603 00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:11,404 - [sighs] 604 00:21:13,506 --> 00:21:15,342 CONDOMS. - 48 OF 'EM. 605 00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:17,510 DIFFERENT FLAVOR FOR EACH HOUR. 606 00:21:17,544 --> 00:21:19,379 - YEAH, WE'RE NOT DATING ANYMORE, OKAY? 607 00:21:19,412 --> 00:21:20,580 GET OUT. - NO, WAIT. DON'T PUNISH ME. 608 00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,382 I TOOK A RISK. - YEAH. BYE.