1 00:00:00,665 --> 00:00:01,513 Okay, everyone. 2 00:00:01,633 --> 00:00:04,691 Look in your folders. You will find information about founder's week. 3 00:00:04,828 --> 00:00:06,149 And before we start brainstorming, 4 00:00:06,162 --> 00:00:08,197 I just wanna thank Ron for lending us his cabin. 5 00:00:08,264 --> 00:00:09,497 Lending? 6 00:00:09,565 --> 00:00:11,132 Makes it sound like I had a choice in the matter. 7 00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:12,441 I never should've agreed to this 8 00:00:12,561 --> 00:00:14,145 or let you know that I have a cabin 9 00:00:14,404 --> 00:00:16,027 or gotten to know any of you. 10 00:00:16,147 --> 00:00:17,350 That's the spirit. 11 00:00:17,478 --> 00:00:19,112 Founder's week is a yearly celebration 12 00:00:19,180 --> 00:00:20,247 of all things Pawnee. 13 00:00:20,314 --> 00:00:22,115 We've got a pie-eating contest, 14 00:00:22,183 --> 00:00:23,150 a giant petting zoo, 15 00:00:23,217 --> 00:00:24,884 and the granddaddy of them all, 16 00:00:24,951 --> 00:00:26,551 the founder's week parade. 17 00:00:26,619 --> 00:00:27,787 I don't wanna over-hype it, 18 00:00:27,854 --> 00:00:30,622 but our parade makes the rose bowl parade 19 00:00:30,690 --> 00:00:32,210 look like a turds-on-wheels convention. 20 00:00:32,332 --> 00:00:33,382 Let's do an exercise. 21 00:00:33,502 --> 00:00:35,673 April, what makes Pawnee the best city in the world? 22 00:00:35,793 --> 00:00:38,148 Easy: Most murders per capita. 23 00:00:38,268 --> 00:00:40,175 The guillotine was invented here. 24 00:00:40,295 --> 00:00:42,251 City Hall is run by the walrus mafia. 25 00:00:42,371 --> 00:00:44,959 Donna, help me out. What makes Pawnee so great? 26 00:00:45,079 --> 00:00:46,238 Cost of living is cheap. 27 00:00:46,358 --> 00:00:48,159 In about three years, I will have saved enough 28 00:00:48,164 --> 00:00:49,659 to pay off my condo in Seattle. 29 00:00:49,779 --> 00:00:51,372 You have a condo in Seattle? 30 00:00:51,492 --> 00:00:53,281 Yes, I like the rain and the fish markets. 31 00:00:53,418 --> 00:00:54,785 Guys, we need to focus. 32 00:00:54,852 --> 00:00:56,966 I want this to be the best founder's week ever, okay? 33 00:00:57,086 --> 00:01:00,661 - No more distractions. - I'm bored. 34 00:01:00,781 --> 00:01:02,579 Let's go have sex in a tree. 35 00:01:02,699 --> 00:01:04,006 He'll be back in eight minutes. 36 00:01:04,126 --> 00:01:05,707 Why did you have to bring her here? 37 00:01:05,827 --> 00:01:07,366 I don't really have any power in this relationship. 38 00:01:07,486 --> 00:01:08,726 I'll think of ideas in the tree. 39 00:01:08,727 --> 00:01:10,764 Anyone's welcome to join us in the tree! 40 00:01:11,467 --> 00:01:14,403 [Triumphant music] 41 00:01:14,470 --> 00:01:24,856 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 42 00:01:31,618 --> 00:01:34,154 Really? 43 00:01:34,222 --> 00:01:36,556 Okay. Thank you. 44 00:01:36,623 --> 00:01:38,491 Bye. 45 00:01:38,559 --> 00:01:40,593 You okay? 46 00:01:40,661 --> 00:01:41,594 Yeah, I'm fine. 47 00:01:41,662 --> 00:01:42,694 Good morning, 48 00:01:42,762 --> 00:01:44,997 colleagues, co-workers, friends. 49 00:01:45,065 --> 00:01:48,667 Everyone feeling normal... today? 50 00:01:48,735 --> 00:01:49,768 Here's what happened. 51 00:01:49,836 --> 00:01:51,403 I left my sweat shirt at Ron's cabin. 52 00:01:51,471 --> 00:01:54,907 When I went back to get it, I found this in the trash: 53 00:01:54,975 --> 00:01:56,677 Positive pregnancy test. 54 00:01:56,952 --> 00:01:59,253 Side note: I accidentally threw my sweat shirt away. 55 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:00,721 That's why I was digging through the trash. 56 00:02:00,789 --> 00:02:02,089 Found that too. Pretty cool. 57 00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:04,324 So if my science is correct, 58 00:02:04,393 --> 00:02:07,361 one of the five women who were at the cabin-- 59 00:02:07,429 --> 00:02:11,942 Leslie, Donna, Ann, Mona-Lisa, or April-- 60 00:02:12,062 --> 00:02:13,142 is pregnant! 61 00:02:13,262 --> 00:02:14,519 Can't be April. 62 00:02:14,819 --> 00:02:15,774 She would've told me. 63 00:02:15,894 --> 00:02:17,989 That leaves four suspects. 64 00:02:18,564 --> 00:02:20,759 There's only one man for this job: 65 00:02:20,879 --> 00:02:23,704 Bert Macklin, FBI. 66 00:02:23,790 --> 00:02:25,558 They said I was retired. 67 00:02:25,626 --> 00:02:26,792 They said I was too dangerous 68 00:02:26,860 --> 00:02:28,193 for the Pawnee Police Department. 69 00:02:28,261 --> 00:02:29,697 Turns out they were right... 70 00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:31,221 and wrong. 71 00:02:31,341 --> 00:02:34,712 Macklin, you son of a bitch. 72 00:02:35,762 --> 00:02:37,122 Hello, fellow Pawneeans. 73 00:02:37,244 --> 00:02:39,179 As you know, the founder's week festivities 74 00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:40,180 kick off tomorrow. 75 00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:41,681 Um, one small announcement: 76 00:02:41,748 --> 00:02:43,283 Due to a tragic misunderstanding, 77 00:02:43,350 --> 00:02:45,750 the prettiest pig beauty pageant 78 00:02:45,819 --> 00:02:48,378 has been replaced by a pork rib barbecue competition. 79 00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:50,423 Oh, no. 80 00:02:50,543 --> 00:02:51,828 But on to less grisly news, 81 00:02:52,087 --> 00:02:53,338 thank you for participating 82 00:02:53,458 --> 00:02:55,638 in our special founder's week public forum 83 00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:57,946 led by councilwoman Leslie Knope. 84 00:02:58,066 --> 00:02:59,882 [Applause] 85 00:03:00,002 --> 00:03:01,382 Thanks to a lot of hard work 86 00:03:01,502 --> 00:03:03,022 and some very dedicated civil servants, 87 00:03:03,057 --> 00:03:05,436 this has been a banner year for our city. 88 00:03:05,556 --> 00:03:07,941 Obesity and diabetes are down. 89 00:03:08,061 --> 00:03:09,139 Test scores are up. 90 00:03:09,259 --> 00:03:11,092 Pawnee raccoon attacks have decreased. 91 00:03:11,212 --> 00:03:12,940 People can now suddenly feel safe 92 00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:14,809 in our parks, grocery stores, and hospitals. 93 00:03:14,929 --> 00:03:16,980 I am very proud of what we've accomplished. 94 00:03:17,100 --> 00:03:21,296 In fact, this forum is kind of my victory lap. 95 00:03:21,416 --> 00:03:23,839 I am here today to ask you one question. 96 00:03:23,959 --> 00:03:27,809 Are you better off now than you were a year ago? 97 00:03:27,929 --> 00:03:29,459 Who'd like to start? Uh-oh. 98 00:03:29,691 --> 00:03:32,594 Kathryn Pinewood, Pawnee Restaurant Association. 99 00:03:32,714 --> 00:03:34,585 This town is not better off. 100 00:03:34,705 --> 00:03:36,549 This past year has been a disaster, 101 00:03:36,669 --> 00:03:38,350 and this government is hell-bent 102 00:03:38,470 --> 00:03:42,082 on stripping away our most basic personal freedoms. 103 00:03:42,202 --> 00:03:43,460 Okay, counterpoint. 104 00:03:43,580 --> 00:03:46,428 Ms. Pinewood, I've never stripped away anyone's freedoms. 105 00:03:46,548 --> 00:03:48,213 I simply stopped a restaurant 106 00:03:48,333 --> 00:03:52,147 from serving an insane 500-ounce soda to its customers, 107 00:03:52,267 --> 00:03:53,787 which only made our citizens healthier. 108 00:03:53,912 --> 00:03:55,546 And frankly, I don't see any of those citizens 109 00:03:55,614 --> 00:03:56,946 standing up and complaining abo-- 110 00:03:57,218 --> 00:03:59,366 [indistinct chatter] 111 00:03:59,486 --> 00:04:00,754 Okay. Now, I see them. 112 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,400 Whoa! Darren! Slow down! 113 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:05,489 That sweat suit's not for sweatin' in, okay? 114 00:04:05,609 --> 00:04:06,530 This is crushed velvet. 115 00:04:06,605 --> 00:04:07,712 If you go at more than a brisk walk, 116 00:04:07,832 --> 00:04:08,592 it will fall apart. 117 00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:11,010 This looks dope. Let's pay for it. 118 00:04:11,130 --> 00:04:12,892 Business is booming. 119 00:04:13,012 --> 00:04:14,923 If it keeps up like this, I would leave the Parks Department 120 00:04:15,043 --> 00:04:17,716 and do Rent-A-Swag full-time, maybe even expand. 121 00:04:17,836 --> 00:04:19,407 I could add a baby section over there, 122 00:04:19,527 --> 00:04:20,335 call it "Li'l Swaggers." 123 00:04:20,455 --> 00:04:21,548 I could add some old people stuff, 124 00:04:21,668 --> 00:04:22,619 call it "Rent-A-Sag." 125 00:04:22,739 --> 00:04:25,093 Ugh, no. Old people are gross. 126 00:04:25,213 --> 00:04:26,878 Oh. Nice. 127 00:04:26,998 --> 00:04:29,278 Hey, dingdong! Can I go home? 128 00:04:29,398 --> 00:04:30,846 My tum-tum feels gross, 129 00:04:30,966 --> 00:04:33,149 and also, I hate working. 130 00:04:33,462 --> 00:04:35,878 I guess, but find someone to cover for you, okay? 131 00:04:35,998 --> 00:04:36,941 'Cause we're really busy right now. 132 00:04:37,061 --> 00:04:38,046 [Laughs] 133 00:04:38,166 --> 00:04:40,335 Also, a lawyer guy called you. 134 00:04:40,455 --> 00:04:42,929 He sounded really sexy on the phone, 135 00:04:43,049 --> 00:04:44,354 and I was very into that. 136 00:04:44,474 --> 00:04:47,040 Like, I was, like, very into that. 137 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:48,295 All right, let's set up some boundaries 138 00:04:48,415 --> 00:04:50,055 on what's cool for you to say to me, okay? 139 00:04:50,168 --> 00:04:51,995 Okay. I frenched my cousin one time. 140 00:04:52,115 --> 00:04:53,123 That's gross. 141 00:04:53,243 --> 00:04:54,309 I might still be in love with him. 142 00:04:54,429 --> 00:04:56,397 - Please leave. - All right, bye. 143 00:04:58,489 --> 00:05:00,439 Tom Haverford, my name is Trevor Nelsson. 144 00:05:00,559 --> 00:05:03,194 I represent a client who would like to make you an offer. 145 00:05:03,314 --> 00:05:04,846 Babyface heard my demo? 146 00:05:04,966 --> 00:05:06,413 I will accept a record deal. 147 00:05:06,533 --> 00:05:08,485 No, you deeply misunderstand. 148 00:05:08,605 --> 00:05:10,770 My client has taken an interest in Rent-A-Swag. 149 00:05:10,890 --> 00:05:12,631 He'd like to know if you are looking 150 00:05:12,751 --> 00:05:14,499 to sell a controlling interest in the store. 151 00:05:14,619 --> 00:05:16,877 Whoa, Diddy wants to buy Rent-A-Swag? 152 00:05:16,997 --> 00:05:19,093 - Not what I said. - This is a lot to process. 153 00:05:19,213 --> 00:05:22,052 Will Diddy be coming to the meeting? 154 00:05:22,172 --> 00:05:24,132 I'm not at liberty to tell you who my client is. 155 00:05:24,190 --> 00:05:25,817 It would violate confidentiality. 156 00:05:25,937 --> 00:05:28,608 - I understand. - It's not Diddy. 157 00:05:28,728 --> 00:05:29,644 Got it. 158 00:05:33,468 --> 00:05:36,338 [Taps on window] 159 00:05:37,961 --> 00:05:40,816 - Oh. - Oh, hello...Ann. 160 00:05:40,936 --> 00:05:42,930 Oh, boy. What do you want, Macklin? 161 00:05:43,050 --> 00:05:44,977 Me? Just observing. 162 00:05:45,097 --> 00:05:47,097 A little something they taught us down at Quantico. 163 00:05:47,129 --> 00:05:48,869 Well, I guess I'll get out of your hair. 164 00:05:48,989 --> 00:05:51,682 Wait, there is just one more question. 165 00:05:51,802 --> 00:05:54,166 - Congratulations. - Is that a question? 166 00:05:54,286 --> 00:05:56,403 It's an accusation, 'cause I know your secret. 167 00:05:57,096 --> 00:05:59,757 - You're pregnant. - What? I'm not pregnant. 168 00:05:59,877 --> 00:06:01,653 You're not? Damn it. Who is? 169 00:06:01,773 --> 00:06:03,483 'Cause I found this at Ron Swanson's cabin. 170 00:06:03,603 --> 00:06:04,888 - It's a pregnancy test. - Oh, my God. 171 00:06:05,008 --> 00:06:06,194 Someone we know is pregnant? 172 00:06:06,314 --> 00:06:08,034 I'm trying to get pregnant. That's not fair. 173 00:06:08,127 --> 00:06:09,844 I mean, great, and happy for them, 174 00:06:09,964 --> 00:06:11,164 and congratulations, whatever, 175 00:06:11,243 --> 00:06:13,008 but ooh! No! Boo! 176 00:06:13,128 --> 00:06:14,372 We have to find out who this is. 177 00:06:14,492 --> 00:06:17,213 Whoa, I don't think so. Bert Macklin works alone. 178 00:06:17,333 --> 00:06:18,470 I will buy lunch. 179 00:06:18,590 --> 00:06:19,599 You can have as many burgers as you want. 180 00:06:19,719 --> 00:06:21,008 Welcome to the FBI. 181 00:06:22,343 --> 00:06:24,570 Ms. Pinewood, Leslie's public health initiative 182 00:06:24,670 --> 00:06:25,968 has been a huge success. 183 00:06:26,088 --> 00:06:28,620 Pawnee is no longer the fourth most obese city in America. 184 00:06:28,740 --> 00:06:29,974 We're now ninth. 185 00:06:30,042 --> 00:06:31,476 Together, as a town, we lost 186 00:06:31,544 --> 00:06:34,128 an amount of weight equal to 800 pregnant manatees. 187 00:06:34,248 --> 00:06:36,542 A gym opened, and it stayed in business. 188 00:06:36,662 --> 00:06:38,482 And people checking into the E.R. 189 00:06:38,550 --> 00:06:41,491 after ingesting a whole candy wrapper is down 40%. 190 00:06:41,611 --> 00:06:43,086 But where will it end? 191 00:06:43,206 --> 00:06:45,091 Now, you wanna rob our children of fun 192 00:06:45,211 --> 00:06:47,778 by attacking the Sweetums school lunch program, 193 00:06:47,898 --> 00:06:49,974 literally taking candy from babies. 194 00:06:50,094 --> 00:06:52,204 Those school lunches are incredibly unhealthy. 195 00:06:52,324 --> 00:06:54,330 You somehow convinced the school board 196 00:06:54,398 --> 00:06:55,864 that napkins are a vegetable. 197 00:06:55,932 --> 00:06:56,972 They're made from plants. 198 00:06:57,091 --> 00:07:00,002 Stop restricting our freedoms. 199 00:07:00,070 --> 00:07:03,138 Yeah! [Applause] 200 00:07:05,095 --> 00:07:07,345 My name is Dewey from Sanitation. 201 00:07:07,585 --> 00:07:09,151 Ever since you stripped us of our freedoms 202 00:07:09,219 --> 00:07:10,619 by making us hire women, 203 00:07:10,687 --> 00:07:12,454 we've had to turn one of our bathrooms 204 00:07:12,522 --> 00:07:14,056 into a woman's bathroom. 205 00:07:14,123 --> 00:07:15,424 We only have one bathroom now. 206 00:07:15,492 --> 00:07:16,625 I'm so sorry, Dewey. 207 00:07:16,693 --> 00:07:18,260 That sounds like a horrible price to pay 208 00:07:18,328 --> 00:07:20,663 for something as trivial as gender equality. 209 00:07:20,730 --> 00:07:21,997 So you agree. 210 00:07:22,065 --> 00:07:24,465 Bjorn Lerpiss of the Pawnee Lerpiss family. 211 00:07:24,533 --> 00:07:26,094 There was supposed to be a Paunch Burger 212 00:07:26,153 --> 00:07:27,313 in this lot next to my house. 213 00:07:27,408 --> 00:07:28,433 And then, you stripped my freedom 214 00:07:28,553 --> 00:07:29,592 by putting a park there. 215 00:07:29,712 --> 00:07:30,650 Now, if I wanna start my day off 216 00:07:30,770 --> 00:07:32,530 with a triple-decker pancake breakfast pizza, 217 00:07:32,614 --> 00:07:34,105 I gotta go to the one that's 10 minutes away, 218 00:07:34,225 --> 00:07:35,933 and that makes me 20 minutes late to work every day. 219 00:07:36,233 --> 00:07:37,023 I work at home. 220 00:07:37,143 --> 00:07:38,907 Have you ever considered not eating that for breakfast? 221 00:07:39,027 --> 00:07:40,707 I'll never consider that. 222 00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:43,135 This feels strangely personal. 223 00:07:43,255 --> 00:07:44,400 Maybe it's because they're all standing up 224 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,938 saying how much they hate me as a person. 225 00:07:48,179 --> 00:07:50,647 How many people am I talking to, Donna? 226 00:07:50,767 --> 00:07:52,649 One or 1 1/9? 227 00:07:52,769 --> 00:07:54,518 Are you asking me if I'm pregnant? 228 00:07:54,638 --> 00:07:56,833 Oh. Interesting. 229 00:07:56,953 --> 00:07:58,374 I don't remember saying anything 230 00:07:58,494 --> 00:08:00,392 about anyone being pregnant. 231 00:08:00,512 --> 00:08:02,751 Are you sure it's not you? 232 00:08:02,871 --> 00:08:04,701 I'm a grown woman with a good head on her shoulders. 233 00:08:04,821 --> 00:08:06,106 Don't worry about me. 234 00:08:06,474 --> 00:08:10,123 Whew. This case just got interesting. 235 00:08:10,243 --> 00:08:10,941 Well, not just. 236 00:08:11,061 --> 00:08:12,782 It was pretty interesting to begin with. 237 00:08:12,902 --> 00:08:16,445 This case just remained interesting. 238 00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:18,982 Listen, my wife and I do not feel 239 00:08:19,102 --> 00:08:20,658 that we're better off than a year ago 240 00:08:20,778 --> 00:08:22,130 because a year ago, this town 241 00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:23,535 was not a horrifying sex den 242 00:08:23,655 --> 00:08:25,001 where people could put their body parts 243 00:08:25,121 --> 00:08:26,263 anywhere they want with impunity. 244 00:08:26,383 --> 00:08:27,504 And then, you were elected. 245 00:08:27,594 --> 00:08:30,011 And now, this town a horrifying sex den 246 00:08:30,131 --> 00:08:31,571 where people can put their body parts 247 00:08:31,576 --> 00:08:33,437 anywhere they want to with impunity. 248 00:08:33,557 --> 00:08:34,064 Yeah. 249 00:08:34,184 --> 00:08:35,796 If you are referring to my fight 250 00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:38,339 to teach comprehensive sex education, 251 00:08:38,459 --> 00:08:40,060 you need to at least acknowledge the fact 252 00:08:40,138 --> 00:08:42,132 that STDs are down 14% from last year. 253 00:08:42,252 --> 00:08:45,556 And deviant behavior in Pawnee is up a billion percent! 254 00:08:45,676 --> 00:08:46,477 No, it's-- no, it's-- 255 00:08:46,481 --> 00:08:47,521 This town is going to hell 256 00:08:47,572 --> 00:08:49,659 in a Gucci knock-off handbag, girl. 257 00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,622 [Applause] See? See? 258 00:08:51,742 --> 00:08:53,533 They agree. Come on. 259 00:08:53,653 --> 00:08:55,933 I am definitely better off than I was a year ago, 260 00:08:56,053 --> 00:08:57,547 and it's all thanks to Leslie Knope. 261 00:08:57,667 --> 00:09:00,077 This woman single-handedly saved my business. 262 00:09:00,197 --> 00:09:02,117 Thank you, Dennis. There you go, perfect example. 263 00:09:02,195 --> 00:09:03,465 No need for further questions on that one. 264 00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:06,214 Oh, I'm sorry. What is your business, sir? 265 00:09:06,334 --> 00:09:08,238 Oh, I run a pornographic DVD emporium. 266 00:09:08,358 --> 00:09:11,779 Well, it used to be a quaint, little movie rental place 267 00:09:11,899 --> 00:09:13,252 with a lot of community value. 268 00:09:13,382 --> 00:09:14,549 - Oh, it's much better now. - Yeah! 269 00:09:14,616 --> 00:09:16,984 [Applause] 270 00:09:17,052 --> 00:09:19,520 - Leslie is the best. - No, no, Brandi. 271 00:09:19,588 --> 00:09:20,588 - Gah, gah, gah, gah-- - Hello, everyone. 272 00:09:20,656 --> 00:09:23,458 - I'm Brandi Maxxxx... All: Hi, Brandi. 273 00:09:23,525 --> 00:09:27,127 Star of such films as the incredible Burt Wonderbone, 274 00:09:27,195 --> 00:09:30,165 A Good Guy to Lay Hard, and Argo. 275 00:09:30,285 --> 00:09:31,897 I had a small part in Argo 276 00:09:32,017 --> 00:09:34,215 as well as the porn version Our Goo. 277 00:09:34,335 --> 00:09:35,838 I've seen the first 90 seconds. 278 00:09:35,958 --> 00:09:36,710 It's thrilling. 279 00:09:36,830 --> 00:09:38,148 If it weren't for Leslie Knope, 280 00:09:38,268 --> 00:09:41,120 there would be far, far less pornography in this town. 281 00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:44,034 No, what happened was there was a misunderstanding, 282 00:09:44,154 --> 00:09:46,380 and I accidentally got the government involved 283 00:09:46,500 --> 00:09:48,381 in an unseemly business, but I cleared that up, 284 00:09:48,448 --> 00:09:49,351 and everything's fine. 285 00:09:49,471 --> 00:09:52,460 It's not like I'm some kind of sex-crazed maniac or something. 286 00:09:52,580 --> 00:09:53,933 Leslie, are you pregnant? 287 00:09:54,053 --> 00:09:55,405 Did you or did you not leave 288 00:09:55,525 --> 00:09:57,819 this positive pregnancy test in a dumpster in the woods? 289 00:09:59,155 --> 00:10:00,696 Hey, everybody. 290 00:10:02,632 --> 00:10:04,418 - No. - Really? 291 00:10:04,538 --> 00:10:06,218 Okay. Well, I'll get out of your hair. 292 00:10:06,338 --> 00:10:07,660 Sorry to interrupt. 293 00:10:07,780 --> 00:10:09,664 Was that Brandi Maxxxx? [Door opens] 294 00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:14,580 Investors, I have some very exciting news about Rent-A-Swag. 295 00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:16,884 Someone-- I'm not saying Diddy, 296 00:10:17,004 --> 00:10:18,754 but I'm not not saying Diddy-- 297 00:10:18,874 --> 00:10:20,608 has offered to buy out Rent-A-Swag 298 00:10:20,728 --> 00:10:22,340 for a buttload of money. 299 00:10:22,460 --> 00:10:23,942 How big a buttload, son? 300 00:10:24,062 --> 00:10:27,413 We would all basically double our investments. 301 00:10:27,533 --> 00:10:29,628 Are you kidding me? Sell, baby. 302 00:10:29,748 --> 00:10:31,083 Imagine the kind of treat-yourself day 303 00:10:31,203 --> 00:10:32,256 we could have with the profits. 304 00:10:32,376 --> 00:10:35,924 I'm talking pedicures on pedicures on pedicures. 305 00:10:36,044 --> 00:10:36,988 That is appealing. 306 00:10:37,108 --> 00:10:39,119 If someone is interested in buying you out, 307 00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:40,504 it means you're doing something right. 308 00:10:40,624 --> 00:10:42,135 I say you continue to grow, 309 00:10:42,255 --> 00:10:44,293 accumulate power, find this investor, 310 00:10:44,413 --> 00:10:46,375 and buy his business to teach him a lesson. 311 00:10:46,495 --> 00:10:48,807 - April, what do you think? - I thought about this a lot. 312 00:10:48,927 --> 00:10:51,466 I actually think that you should get a "Hello Kitty" tattoo. 313 00:10:51,586 --> 00:10:53,167 - No, with the store. - Oh. 314 00:10:53,287 --> 00:10:55,022 Uh, burn it for the insurance money. 315 00:10:55,267 --> 00:10:56,958 Tom, listen to me, if there's one thing I've learned-- 316 00:10:57,078 --> 00:10:59,041 - God, nobody cares, Gary. - Enough. 317 00:10:59,744 --> 00:11:01,551 - Thank you. - I miss you guys. 318 00:11:02,470 --> 00:11:04,895 What a wonderful event. Everyone is having fun. 319 00:11:05,014 --> 00:11:06,247 This is great. 320 00:11:06,316 --> 00:11:07,882 Chris, could you just please... 321 00:11:07,950 --> 00:11:09,718 I'm sorry, I was just trying to cheer you up. 322 00:11:09,786 --> 00:11:10,986 - Just hang in there. - Thanks. 323 00:11:11,017 --> 00:11:12,502 All right, if you'll excuse me, I found out 324 00:11:12,622 --> 00:11:14,523 this morning that I am playing 325 00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:16,725 a special role in this parade. 326 00:11:16,793 --> 00:11:17,771 No spoilers. 327 00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:20,826 Honey, I hate to state the obvious, 328 00:11:20,946 --> 00:11:22,790 but you chose a life in politics. 329 00:11:22,910 --> 00:11:24,532 I mean, the more you actually accomplish, 330 00:11:24,599 --> 00:11:26,033 the more heat you're gonna draw. 331 00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:28,669 - Yeah, I know. - Let's go watch the parade. 332 00:11:28,737 --> 00:11:29,688 You know you can't resist a parade. 333 00:11:29,808 --> 00:11:30,847 That's true. 334 00:11:30,967 --> 00:11:32,773 Parades and your butt: 335 00:11:32,841 --> 00:11:33,940 - My two vices. - There you go. 336 00:11:34,007 --> 00:11:35,742 - Whoa, what are you doing? - [Giggles] 337 00:11:35,810 --> 00:11:37,850 My assistant has something she'd like to show you. 338 00:11:37,972 --> 00:11:39,418 Partner. 339 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,472 Oh, my assistant has something she'd like to show you, partner. 340 00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:44,354 It's a positive pregnancy test, Tom. 341 00:11:44,474 --> 00:11:45,908 I found it outside of Ron's cabin 342 00:11:46,028 --> 00:11:47,095 after our brainstorming session. 343 00:11:47,215 --> 00:11:50,050 Is there any possibility Mona-Lisa could be pregnant? 344 00:11:50,170 --> 00:11:52,825 [Scoffs] We always use protection... 345 00:11:52,925 --> 00:11:54,393 but I'm pretty positive she pokes holes in them. 346 00:11:54,460 --> 00:11:55,894 What brand pregnancy test is it? 347 00:11:55,961 --> 00:11:57,762 It's called "Womb There It Is." 348 00:11:57,830 --> 00:11:59,370 That's her brand. 349 00:11:59,697 --> 00:12:01,456 I'm gonna be a dad? 350 00:12:01,702 --> 00:12:04,470 I'm gonna have a baby with Jean-Ralphio's sister? 351 00:12:04,590 --> 00:12:06,249 Oh, God. What have I done? 352 00:12:06,369 --> 00:12:08,090 Like, to humanity? 353 00:12:08,907 --> 00:12:11,842 [Marching band music] 354 00:12:11,910 --> 00:12:14,014 ♪ ♪ 355 00:12:14,254 --> 00:12:15,294 This is the perfect thing 356 00:12:15,355 --> 00:12:16,689 to take my mind off of yesterday. 357 00:12:16,757 --> 00:12:19,492 I am going to pretend that this is my victory parade 358 00:12:19,559 --> 00:12:22,260 and the town is celebrating my hard work and dedication. 359 00:12:22,328 --> 00:12:23,896 - There you go. - Leslie, Leslie. 360 00:12:23,963 --> 00:12:25,649 I'm so sorry. I need to talk to you. 361 00:12:25,769 --> 00:12:28,321 What are-- what? 362 00:12:28,585 --> 00:12:29,885 I'm the Nipple King. 363 00:12:29,953 --> 00:12:31,454 Kernston's Rubber Nipple Company 364 00:12:31,521 --> 00:12:33,481 elects a nipple king and a nipple queen every year 365 00:12:33,523 --> 00:12:34,656 to ride on the float. 366 00:12:34,724 --> 00:12:36,657 - Congratulations, Chris. - Thank you. 367 00:12:36,725 --> 00:12:38,693 - It's such an amazing honor. - It's wonderful. 368 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:39,920 But I do need to talk to you 369 00:12:39,962 --> 00:12:41,402 about a float that is in this parade, 370 00:12:41,430 --> 00:12:42,397 because I'm not sure that you're going to be-- 371 00:12:42,465 --> 00:12:44,899 - No fun for you! - Uh-oh. 372 00:12:44,967 --> 00:12:46,601 No fun for you! 373 00:12:46,668 --> 00:12:48,736 - Is that me? - Maybe it's not you. 374 00:12:48,804 --> 00:12:50,922 - Maybe it's Kate Upton. - Oh, thank you. 375 00:12:51,042 --> 00:12:53,459 No, it's me, and damn them. No fun for you! 376 00:12:53,579 --> 00:12:55,109 Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey! 377 00:12:55,229 --> 00:12:56,385 Hey, stop, please! [Bangs on window] 378 00:12:56,505 --> 00:12:58,008 Stop! Excuse me, Pawnee. 379 00:12:58,128 --> 00:13:00,571 I'm sorry, I don't mean to stop your parade or anything, 380 00:13:00,691 --> 00:13:02,646 but I just have to say something here, okay? 381 00:13:02,766 --> 00:13:04,282 I don't think this is very fair! 382 00:13:04,402 --> 00:13:06,042 Babe--babe, stop wagging your finger. 383 00:13:06,162 --> 00:13:07,902 Certain people are lashing out at me 384 00:13:08,022 --> 00:13:09,757 because of things that I did this year. 385 00:13:09,877 --> 00:13:12,130 But I am not trying to stop you from having fun. 386 00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:13,886 I am an extremely fun person. 387 00:13:14,006 --> 00:13:16,367 This float represents a group 388 00:13:16,487 --> 00:13:20,184 of over 300 business owners, individuals, 389 00:13:20,304 --> 00:13:23,252 and community leaders who are protesting 390 00:13:23,372 --> 00:13:25,278 unfair government regulation. 391 00:13:25,398 --> 00:13:29,291 We are the committee to recall Leslie Knope. 392 00:13:29,411 --> 00:13:31,890 Let's kick her out of office. 393 00:13:32,010 --> 00:13:34,088 Recall Knope! 394 00:13:34,208 --> 00:13:36,319 All: Recall Knope! 395 00:13:36,439 --> 00:13:38,084 Recall Knope! 396 00:13:38,204 --> 00:13:41,352 - Recall Knope! - Legalize weed! 397 00:13:41,419 --> 00:13:44,155 All: Recall Knope! Recall Knope! 398 00:13:44,802 --> 00:13:46,336 So, I need to ask you something 399 00:13:46,456 --> 00:13:48,819 and I kinda wish Jean-Ralphio wasn't here. 400 00:13:48,939 --> 00:13:51,475 Please tell me that you're dumping my sister, 401 00:13:51,542 --> 00:13:54,425 because I will laugh-- I will laugh so much. 402 00:13:54,545 --> 00:13:56,648 Actually, it may be the opposite. 403 00:13:56,768 --> 00:13:59,462 - Is this yours? - No, no. 404 00:14:01,719 --> 00:14:05,288 Yeah. It's mine. 405 00:14:05,356 --> 00:14:07,820 - I'm pregnant. - Lemony snicket. 406 00:14:07,940 --> 00:14:09,874 Oh, my God, are you serious? 407 00:14:09,942 --> 00:14:11,127 I'm gonna be an uncle? Is that a real thing? 408 00:14:11,247 --> 00:14:12,245 Is that gonna happen? 409 00:14:12,365 --> 00:14:14,195 No, no, that's too much-- too much responsibility for me. 410 00:14:14,315 --> 00:14:16,118 I gotta--I gotta find another way out of this. 411 00:14:16,238 --> 00:14:17,798 Well, I wish you told me. 412 00:14:17,918 --> 00:14:19,695 I mean, obviously, we need to talk about our future. 413 00:14:19,815 --> 00:14:20,919 Maybe I could sell the business, 414 00:14:21,039 --> 00:14:21,928 and we could use the profits 415 00:14:22,048 --> 00:14:23,510 to put a down payment on a house or something, or-- 416 00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:25,406 - Psych! - What? 417 00:14:25,526 --> 00:14:26,719 [Laughter] 418 00:14:26,839 --> 00:14:30,616 Ah, ha, ha. Look at your stupid face. 419 00:14:30,736 --> 00:14:33,166 - You had a dumdum face. - That was hilarious. 420 00:14:33,286 --> 00:14:36,140 Oh, that was... ♪ hilarious ♪ 421 00:14:36,260 --> 00:14:39,525 ♪ That's hilarious ♪ 422 00:14:39,645 --> 00:14:41,593 So you're not pregnant? This isn't yours? 423 00:14:41,713 --> 00:14:42,684 [Bleep], no. 424 00:14:42,804 --> 00:14:46,011 Do you know how many different pills I take, 425 00:14:46,131 --> 00:14:48,160 birth control or otherwise? 426 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:51,091 There is no way that I could be pregnant with a human baby. 427 00:14:51,211 --> 00:14:52,979 Thank God. Yes! 428 00:14:53,099 --> 00:14:54,915 Tommy has his life back! Let's go! 429 00:14:55,035 --> 00:14:55,924 What the hell is wrong with you, man? 430 00:14:56,044 --> 00:14:57,049 That's my sister. 431 00:14:57,629 --> 00:14:59,114 Nah! I'm just kidding, man. 432 00:14:59,234 --> 00:15:02,100 She's the worst. You dodged a bullet, baby. 433 00:15:02,220 --> 00:15:03,301 - Congratulations. - Thanks. 434 00:15:03,324 --> 00:15:04,540 Bad, bad, bad, bad. 435 00:15:04,660 --> 00:15:07,008 Well, Macklin, it's not Mona-Lisa. 436 00:15:07,092 --> 00:15:08,723 It's not me, it's not Donna, it's not Leslie. 437 00:15:08,843 --> 00:15:10,604 There was only one other woman at that cabin. 438 00:15:10,724 --> 00:15:12,282 April? No, she would've told me. 439 00:15:12,402 --> 00:15:13,861 Besides, the math doesn't add up 440 00:15:13,981 --> 00:15:16,111 because we only have sex every single day. 441 00:15:16,231 --> 00:15:19,100 And since she's the only one that we haven't talked to, 442 00:15:19,220 --> 00:15:21,309 it has to be hers. 443 00:15:21,429 --> 00:15:22,782 Oh, my God. 444 00:15:24,074 --> 00:15:26,976 [Silverware clinking] 445 00:15:27,096 --> 00:15:28,607 I don't like seeing you like this. 446 00:15:28,727 --> 00:15:30,164 I've never felt this way before. 447 00:15:30,284 --> 00:15:31,325 Maybe I should just quit. 448 00:15:31,445 --> 00:15:33,016 Maybe we should both quit, 449 00:15:33,136 --> 00:15:34,457 and we should move to the Bahamas, 450 00:15:34,541 --> 00:15:37,773 live on a beach, catch fish with homemade spears. 451 00:15:37,893 --> 00:15:40,023 Yeah, you'd last about 30 seconds with that work. 452 00:15:40,143 --> 00:15:41,355 When we went to Hawaii, 453 00:15:41,475 --> 00:15:43,155 you woke me up at 3:00 A.M. to watch Meet the Press. 454 00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:44,900 Well, it was Elizabeth Warren. 455 00:15:45,020 --> 00:15:47,049 Like, I'm not going to watch that live? 456 00:15:47,169 --> 00:15:48,649 Look, you can hate your job sometimes. 457 00:15:48,710 --> 00:15:50,349 It's allowed. But let me ask you this: 458 00:15:50,469 --> 00:15:51,990 Do you think this town is better off 459 00:15:52,110 --> 00:15:53,803 - than it was a year ago? - Yes. 460 00:15:53,923 --> 00:15:55,683 Do you stand behind everything you've done? 461 00:15:55,801 --> 00:15:57,707 - Yes. - Then screw 'em. 462 00:15:58,573 --> 00:16:00,726 But even if I wanted to fight this recall, 463 00:16:00,846 --> 00:16:01,981 how would I do it? 464 00:16:03,249 --> 00:16:04,860 Thank you all for coming. 465 00:16:04,969 --> 00:16:06,702 As most of you probably know, 466 00:16:06,770 --> 00:16:09,172 there is a large committee that has announced plans 467 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:10,639 to recall me from office. 468 00:16:10,707 --> 00:16:13,576 My response to them is this: 469 00:16:13,643 --> 00:16:15,181 Bring it on. 470 00:16:15,301 --> 00:16:17,812 Step up. Step Up 2: The Streets. 471 00:16:17,881 --> 00:16:19,584 I'm sorry, my adrenaline is pumping, 472 00:16:19,704 --> 00:16:21,548 so all I can think of is dance movie titles. 473 00:16:21,668 --> 00:16:23,375 Stomp the Yard. There's one. 474 00:16:23,495 --> 00:16:25,322 Look, I work very hard for this town, 475 00:16:25,442 --> 00:16:26,440 as hard as I can, 476 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:28,308 and all that matters to me is whether or not 477 00:16:28,428 --> 00:16:30,728 everyone here thinks that they are better off now 478 00:16:30,848 --> 00:16:32,654 than they were a year ago. 479 00:16:32,774 --> 00:16:33,701 I think you are. 480 00:16:33,821 --> 00:16:35,965 If you disagree with me, then go ahead and recall me. 481 00:16:36,085 --> 00:16:38,157 Go crazy. You Got Served. 482 00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:40,409 Silver Linings Playbook, kind of. 483 00:16:40,641 --> 00:16:42,121 The committee says they plan to push 484 00:16:42,220 --> 00:16:43,491 for a recall vote within two months. 485 00:16:43,611 --> 00:16:44,940 - Do you have a comment on that? - Nope. 486 00:16:45,060 --> 00:16:48,071 Again, all I really care about is are you better off? 487 00:16:48,191 --> 00:16:49,830 I think I'm better off. 488 00:16:49,950 --> 00:16:51,249 I haven't had a date in a while, 489 00:16:51,369 --> 00:16:52,994 but I'm learning a lot about me. 490 00:16:53,114 --> 00:16:54,634 Well, I wasn't asking you specifically, 491 00:16:54,650 --> 00:16:55,784 but I'm happy to hear that, Shauna. 492 00:16:55,904 --> 00:16:58,885 So, in conclusion, recall, shmecall. 493 00:16:59,005 --> 00:17:02,380 No, I can't end my big press conference 494 00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:03,621 by saying "Recall, shmecall." 495 00:17:03,666 --> 00:17:05,586 That's ridiculous. Ben, can you help me out here? 496 00:17:05,605 --> 00:17:07,766 That concludes councilwoman Knope's press conference. 497 00:17:07,872 --> 00:17:09,621 And if you have any further questions... 498 00:17:09,741 --> 00:17:12,211 [Overlapping questions] hold on to them, 499 00:17:12,331 --> 00:17:13,901 because she has a lot of work to do. 500 00:17:14,021 --> 00:17:15,210 Thanks, honey. Honey. 501 00:17:15,330 --> 00:17:17,829 That's another dance movie with Jessica alba. 502 00:17:18,797 --> 00:17:19,969 Alright, people. 503 00:17:20,151 --> 00:17:21,869 The Pawnee river's not gonna clean itself. 504 00:17:21,989 --> 00:17:24,157 Volunteer weekend task force, mobilize. 505 00:17:24,225 --> 00:17:26,025 Oh, Leslie, this goes without saying, 506 00:17:26,093 --> 00:17:28,394 but if you need any speeches or testimonials 507 00:17:28,461 --> 00:17:30,729 or just general enthusiasm for your recall fight, 508 00:17:30,797 --> 00:17:31,897 I'm your man. 509 00:17:31,964 --> 00:17:33,165 - Thank you, Chris. - You're welcome. 510 00:17:33,233 --> 00:17:34,866 I'll see you at the river. Oh, oh, oh! 511 00:17:34,934 --> 00:17:37,259 Last one to pick up 100 rusty cans 512 00:17:37,538 --> 00:17:39,605 has still accomplished a great deal. 513 00:17:39,673 --> 00:17:40,994 Hey, maybe after, you wanna come 514 00:17:41,041 --> 00:17:42,241 meet me and Chris for a drink? 515 00:17:42,276 --> 00:17:44,276 Sure. Hey, how's it going with you guys? 516 00:17:44,343 --> 00:17:47,446 We're great, actually, and we're having a good time. 517 00:17:47,513 --> 00:17:48,980 - Sex is ridiculous. - Mm-hmm. 518 00:17:49,048 --> 00:17:51,149 Hopefully, that ridiculous sex will lead to a baby. 519 00:17:51,217 --> 00:17:52,191 [Sighs] I'm so happy for you. 520 00:17:52,289 --> 00:17:53,456 Just remember to use protection. 521 00:17:53,525 --> 00:17:55,425 Wait, no, don't. That would defeat the purpose. 522 00:17:55,493 --> 00:17:57,360 Okay, no. Do your thing. 523 00:17:59,557 --> 00:18:01,397 Yeah! [Laughing] 524 00:18:01,464 --> 00:18:04,648 - My wife is pregnant! - Okay, put me down. 525 00:18:04,768 --> 00:18:05,801 Hey, you can't keep it from me. 526 00:18:05,869 --> 00:18:06,802 I found the pregnancy test, honey. 527 00:18:06,870 --> 00:18:08,070 Honey, I'm not pregnant, okay? 528 00:18:08,071 --> 00:18:09,632 And if I were, you shouldn't lift me up. 529 00:18:09,726 --> 00:18:11,311 Wait, are you sure you're not? 530 00:18:11,431 --> 00:18:13,083 Yeah. We've talked about this. 531 00:18:13,203 --> 00:18:13,929 Remember? 532 00:18:14,049 --> 00:18:15,180 I wanna wait until we're 50 533 00:18:15,300 --> 00:18:17,812 and then adopt a set of creepy adult twins from Romania. 534 00:18:17,932 --> 00:18:19,025 Oh, yeah. Of course. 535 00:18:19,145 --> 00:18:21,025 Actually, there is something I need to tell you. 536 00:18:21,048 --> 00:18:22,673 [Gasps] You're pregnant. 537 00:18:22,793 --> 00:18:24,023 - No. - No! 538 00:18:24,143 --> 00:18:25,756 We just ruled that out. [Stomps] 539 00:18:25,876 --> 00:18:27,724 - Ah, dang it. - Okay, a while ago, 540 00:18:27,844 --> 00:18:29,374 I applied to veterinary school in Bloomington, 541 00:18:29,494 --> 00:18:33,035 and I just found out that... I got in. 542 00:18:33,155 --> 00:18:35,374 You did? That's amazing! 543 00:18:35,494 --> 00:18:36,996 Wait, why did you wait to tell me? 544 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,505 Because I don't even know if I wanna go, okay? 545 00:18:39,625 --> 00:18:41,858 I mean, yes, it's been my dream to work with animals 546 00:18:41,978 --> 00:18:44,013 since I was a kid and everything. 547 00:18:44,244 --> 00:18:45,185 But it would mean I would be spending 548 00:18:45,305 --> 00:18:47,013 a lot of time apart from you, and... 549 00:18:47,133 --> 00:18:48,574 Oh, we could get through that. 550 00:18:48,704 --> 00:18:50,265 I mean, look. It would suck for a while, 551 00:18:50,305 --> 00:18:52,105 and I would miss you while you're gone. 552 00:18:53,086 --> 00:18:55,091 But as I've known about you 553 00:18:55,211 --> 00:18:57,164 for the past 20 seconds, 554 00:18:57,284 --> 00:18:59,193 this is your dream. 555 00:19:00,205 --> 00:19:01,796 I'm really glad I married you. 556 00:19:01,916 --> 00:19:03,555 Yeah, we made a good call on that one. 557 00:19:04,796 --> 00:19:06,283 So I just wanted to let you know 558 00:19:06,403 --> 00:19:08,262 I will not be selling Rent-A-Swag. 559 00:19:08,382 --> 00:19:09,830 And you can go tell your client 560 00:19:09,950 --> 00:19:12,592 he now has 100 problems? 561 00:19:12,712 --> 00:19:14,321 - Is it Jay-Z? - No. 562 00:19:14,441 --> 00:19:15,521 But since you're not taking the deal, 563 00:19:15,641 --> 00:19:16,748 I should inform you that my client 564 00:19:16,868 --> 00:19:19,302 will be moving on to plan B: Opening his own store 565 00:19:19,422 --> 00:19:20,701 directly across the street from yours. 566 00:19:20,821 --> 00:19:21,696 Across the street? 567 00:19:21,816 --> 00:19:22,814 What kind of store is it gonna be? 568 00:19:22,934 --> 00:19:24,295 He's calling it "Tommy's Closet." 569 00:19:24,353 --> 00:19:26,510 It's a high-end secondhand clothing store 570 00:19:26,630 --> 00:19:27,601 where parents can rent clothes 571 00:19:27,721 --> 00:19:29,155 for their teens, tweens, and pres, 572 00:19:29,275 --> 00:19:32,321 as well as babies, toddlers, grown-ups, and olds. 573 00:19:32,441 --> 00:19:34,040 But that's my idea and my name. 574 00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:36,464 So I guess only Domino's is allowed to sell pizza now? 575 00:19:36,584 --> 00:19:38,455 It's called capitalism, Mr. Haverford, 576 00:19:38,575 --> 00:19:40,424 and you are about to get a free lesson. 577 00:19:40,544 --> 00:19:43,772 Only this free lesson is going to cost you. 578 00:19:44,208 --> 00:19:46,219 So it's not free? 579 00:19:47,515 --> 00:19:49,328 You're right. That was confusing. 580 00:19:49,996 --> 00:19:51,989 This lesson will cost you. Good day. 581 00:19:52,109 --> 00:19:54,607 This sucks, but I have to admit: 582 00:19:54,907 --> 00:19:56,309 It's a pretty baller move. 583 00:19:56,895 --> 00:19:58,678 You sure this isn't Diddy? 584 00:20:01,269 --> 00:20:03,347 - It is Diddy. - I knew it! 585 00:20:03,467 --> 00:20:04,411 It's not Diddy. 586 00:20:06,463 --> 00:20:08,701 Are you sure everything will be all right 587 00:20:08,821 --> 00:20:09,942 if April goes to vet school? 588 00:20:10,054 --> 00:20:12,320 There are no sure things in life, son, 589 00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:14,743 but you two seem pretty solid to me. 590 00:20:14,863 --> 00:20:17,620 - Change is good, I guess. - Not to me. 591 00:20:17,740 --> 00:20:19,756 Leslie's going around asking everybody 592 00:20:19,876 --> 00:20:21,856 if they're better off than they were a year ago. 593 00:20:21,976 --> 00:20:24,360 All I care about is that I'm the same. 594 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:27,311 If I'm the same as I was a year ago, I'm happy. 595 00:20:27,431 --> 00:20:28,497 Wait, I forgot. 596 00:20:28,797 --> 00:20:30,700 - Who the hell is pregnant? - What? 597 00:20:30,820 --> 00:20:32,421 I found a pregnancy test at your cabin, 598 00:20:32,429 --> 00:20:33,837 and I checked with all the girls over there. 599 00:20:33,957 --> 00:20:36,216 It wasn't any of them. [Knocks on door] 600 00:20:36,557 --> 00:20:38,725 Hello, darling. What a surprise. 601 00:20:38,845 --> 00:20:40,844 Hey. Can we talk? 602 00:20:40,964 --> 00:20:42,815 Maybe in private? 603 00:20:43,694 --> 00:20:45,631 [Gasps] 604 00:20:45,751 --> 00:20:52,331 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com