1
00:00:56,734 --> 00:00:58,609
Hey, Jake.
What's wrong?

2
00:00:58,667 --> 00:01:00,871
You look dumpy.
How come?

3
00:01:00,933 --> 00:01:04,705
I-Is it because
of that metal box?

4
00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:06,367
Is something sad inside?

5
00:01:06,432 --> 00:01:08,340
No. It's nothing.

6
00:01:08,397 --> 00:01:10,567
There's lots of boxes
that have nothing in them.

7
00:01:10,630 --> 00:01:12,732
But also, you could put
something in the box.

8
00:01:12,796 --> 00:01:14,364
And then it won't be empty!

9
00:01:14,429 --> 00:01:16,031
Does that make you feel better?

10
00:01:17,528 --> 00:01:19,232
You're a charmer,
Finn human.

11
00:01:19,292 --> 00:01:21,429
No.
It's...well...

12
00:01:21,492 --> 00:01:23,367
Lady Rainicorn doesn't want to play

13
00:01:23,425 --> 00:01:25,527
the game Card Wars with me.

14
00:01:27,424 --> 00:01:28,867
I always beat her.

15
00:01:28,923 --> 00:01:31,366
So she says, "no more
card warring."

16
00:01:31,422 --> 00:01:32,866
What's Card Wars?

17
00:01:32,921 --> 00:01:34,194
It's a fantasy card game

18
00:01:34,255 --> 00:01:36,458
that's super-complicated and awesome,

19
00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:38,623
but, well...
oh, it's kinda stupid.

20
00:01:38,686 --> 00:01:40,287
Never mind.

21
00:01:40,352 --> 00:01:41,954
How come you never
talked about it before?

22
00:01:42,017 --> 00:01:43,790
It sounds cool.
- Really?!

23
00:01:43,850 --> 00:01:45,952
Well, I thought you'd say
it was for nerds

24
00:01:46,016 --> 00:01:47,550
who do not know how life is

25
00:01:47,616 --> 00:01:49,457
outside of the nerd universe.

26
00:01:49,516 --> 00:01:50,754
I-it is, man.

27
00:01:50,815 --> 00:01:52,917
But I still totally
want to play it.

28
00:01:52,980 --> 00:01:54,322
So no more moping, okay?

29
00:01:54,379 --> 00:01:56,186
Thanks, Finn.

30
00:02:04,543 --> 00:02:06,850
Oh, hey, Beemo.
You want to play, too'?

31
00:02:06,909 --> 00:02:10,783
No! I do not play
such games... with Jake!

32
00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:12,874
- What's that mean?
- Ah, whatever.

33
00:02:12,939 --> 00:02:15,848
Let's play the game!

34
00:02:15,905 --> 00:02:18,076
So, what kind of stakes
do we play for?

35
00:02:18,139 --> 00:02:20,012
How about the loser...

36
00:02:20,070 --> 00:02:21,672
is a dweeb,

37
00:02:21,736 --> 00:02:23,304
and the winner is a cool guy?

38
00:02:23,369 --> 00:02:24,971
Those are good stakes.

39
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:32,601
Coffee grounds, beetle butter,

40
00:02:32,665 --> 00:02:35,267
grape jelly, kimchi,

41
00:02:35,331 --> 00:02:38,433
aaand this stuff.

42
00:02:38,497 --> 00:02:41,167
Hey! You're ruining that pop
with weird taste!

43
00:02:44,561 --> 00:02:46,936
We drink when the game is over.

44
00:02:46,994 --> 00:02:48,232
Oh, gross.

45
00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:50,634
Now, let me explain the rules.

46
00:02:51,625 --> 00:02:53,296
That's basically the basics.

47
00:02:53,358 --> 00:02:55,426
So once we have
our kingdom setup...

48
00:02:56,590 --> 00:02:58,033
...it's time to start to play...

49
00:02:58,089 --> 00:02:59,964
for the gloryyyy!

50
00:03:00,023 --> 00:03:01,557
Huh?

51
00:03:01,622 --> 00:03:02,963
Hey, were you asleep?

52
00:03:03,022 --> 00:03:05,328
I'll have to explain it
all over again!

53
00:03:05,387 --> 00:03:07,092
Doesn't matter.
Let's just play.

54
00:03:07,153 --> 00:03:08,926
But if you don't know the rules,

55
00:03:08,986 --> 00:03:10,929
then you're gonna lose
in the first couple rounds,

56
00:03:10,985 --> 00:03:12,587
like Lady always does.

57
00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:15,093
And then you'll hate the game.
And then you'll hate max'

58
00:03:15,150 --> 00:03:16,593
And then, and then --

59
00:03:16,649 --> 00:03:18,422
Pfft!
You think you're gonna win?

60
00:03:18,483 --> 00:03:21,722
I'm gonna crush you --
party-dance style, dweeb!

61
00:03:21,781 --> 00:03:23,553
Bring it!

62
00:03:23,613 --> 00:03:25,557
So, how do I get
my land on the map'?

63
00:03:25,613 --> 00:03:27,215
Oh.

64
00:03:27,279 --> 00:03:29,653
You, uh, floop your land cards.

65
00:03:32,444 --> 00:03:33,944
Uh...

66
00:03:34,010 --> 00:03:35,510
Keep those honeys hidden,

67
00:03:35,576 --> 00:03:37,484
or I'll get a strategic advantage!

68
00:03:37,541 --> 00:03:39,177
Oh!
Hmm...

69
00:03:39,241 --> 00:03:41,014
Okay, I go first.

70
00:03:41,074 --> 00:03:43,914
I floop the Silo of Truth!

71
00:03:45,606 --> 00:03:47,378
Hey!

72
00:03:47,438 --> 00:03:49,381
Pfft!
You got really lame cards.

73
00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:50,414
Hmm...

74
00:03:50,471 --> 00:03:53,414
I'll take the Cerebral Blood
Storm, though.

75
00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:56,174
Huh?

76
00:03:56,235 --> 00:03:58,178
Okay, now it's the battle phase.

77
00:03:58,234 --> 00:04:01,642
I'm attacking your schoolhouse
with my Husker Knights.

78
00:04:02,998 --> 00:04:06,998
And, I'm casting Cerebral Blood Storm.

79
00:04:08,297 --> 00:04:11,706
So, what do you use to defend?

80
00:04:13,662 --> 00:04:16,071
Uh...
can my Cool Dog

81
00:04:16,128 --> 00:04:18,071
and Ancient Scholar
defeat your Husker Knights?

82
00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:21,428
Of course not!

83
00:04:21,492 --> 00:04:24,264
Hmm.
Then I floop the pig...

84
00:04:24,324 --> 00:04:25,858
What?!

85
00:04:25,924 --> 00:04:28,026
- What?
- Okay, okay.

86
00:04:28,090 --> 00:04:31,862
First of all, you don't floop
a creature to make it fight.

87
00:04:31,922 --> 00:04:33,524
You activate a creature.

88
00:04:33,588 --> 00:04:35,189
Hmm. No!

89
00:04:35,253 --> 00:04:38,253
It says I can
floop the pig. See?

90
00:04:42,617 --> 00:04:44,561
No!

91
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,457
He's eating all my cornfields!

92
00:04:46,516 --> 00:04:49,720
My Husker Knights
draw energy from corn!

93
00:04:49,781 --> 00:04:51,781
And since I'm not
actually attacking,

94
00:04:51,848 --> 00:04:53,654
your Cerebral Blood Storm
only does damage

95
00:04:53,714 --> 00:04:55,782
to your own kingdom's troops.

96
00:04:58,112 --> 00:05:01,055
You just wiped out
my entire attack!

97
00:05:01,111 --> 00:05:03,951
What do you expect if all your
power units come from corn?

98
00:05:04,010 --> 00:05:06,953
Pigs eat corn, dude.
Cornfields stink.

99
00:05:07,009 --> 00:05:09,417
Cornfields are awesome!

100
00:05:09,474 --> 00:05:12,111
What makes you think you know
so much about Card Wars?!

101
00:05:12,174 --> 00:05:14,844
- It's just logic.
- Your turn.

102
00:05:14,906 --> 00:05:16,008
Hmm...

103
00:05:16,072 --> 00:05:17,743
You're supposed
to discard a card

104
00:05:17,805 --> 00:05:19,578
and pick up a new one first.

105
00:05:19,638 --> 00:05:20,740
Oh, right.

106
00:05:20,804 --> 00:05:23,041
Look at you.
You're a babe in the woods.

107
00:05:23,102 --> 00:05:25,171
Your beginner's luck
ends this round!

108
00:05:25,235 --> 00:05:27,303
Hmm.

109
00:05:30,633 --> 00:05:33,838
Spirit Tower!
And the Cave of Solitude?!

110
00:05:33,899 --> 00:05:36,001
Now my battle phase
begins.

111
00:05:36,065 --> 00:05:40,007
I activate my ancient scholar
to begin studying.

112
00:05:40,063 --> 00:05:42,801
And I also move my pig
to the Cave of Solitude

113
00:05:42,861 --> 00:05:45,066
so he can take a nap.

114
00:05:45,128 --> 00:05:47,866
That's it?
You're not attacking?

115
00:05:47,927 --> 00:05:49,563
I'll attack on a different turn.

116
00:05:49,627 --> 00:05:51,570
Ha!
Then the seas have aligned

117
00:05:51,626 --> 00:05:53,569
and the five winds
waft the smell of victory

118
00:05:53,625 --> 00:05:55,431
to my palace doors!

119
00:05:55,490 --> 00:05:57,559
I cast
"Field of Nightmares"

120
00:05:57,624 --> 00:05:59,532
and activate my legion of ear-lings

121
00:05:59,589 --> 00:06:01,088
to scare your pig to death!

122
00:06:01,155 --> 00:06:02,190
♪ La, la, la, la ♪

123
00:06:02,256 --> 00:06:04,095
My pig's in the Cave of Solitude.

124
00:06:04,154 --> 00:06:06,428
Um...
I cast "Teleport"

125
00:06:06,487 --> 00:06:08,191
to move your
pig to the empty field

126
00:06:08,253 --> 00:06:09,753
so I can attack him!

127
00:06:09,819 --> 00:06:11,762
Uh... wouldn't "Teleport"
only work

128
00:06:11,818 --> 00:06:14,056
on your own creatures?
- You're right.

129
00:06:14,117 --> 00:06:15,856
I'm gonna slay that pig, though.

130
00:06:15,916 --> 00:06:18,587
How? You don't have any
creatures that can touch him.

131
00:06:18,649 --> 00:06:19,717
Ugh!

132
00:06:19,782 --> 00:06:22,657
Face it, man.
I'm the cool guy.

133
00:06:22,714 --> 00:06:23,952
Hmm...

134
00:06:24,013 --> 00:06:26,580
You're the cool guy, huh?

135
00:06:26,645 --> 00:06:29,554
Well, let me make it a little
hot for you, then.

136
00:06:31,277 --> 00:06:33,255
I floop the volcano.

137
00:06:33,311 --> 00:06:34,253
What?!

138
00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:36,083
That'll destroy your kingdom,
too, won't it'?!

139
00:06:36,143 --> 00:06:38,086
Hmph! Maybe
Oh!

140
00:06:38,142 --> 00:06:39,949
Aah!

141
00:06:40,008 --> 00:06:41,041
My Pig!

142
00:06:41,107 --> 00:06:42,175
♪ La, la ♪

143
00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:44,377
Aah!

144
00:06:46,672 --> 00:06:48,547
The pig is dead.

145
00:06:48,605 --> 00:06:50,411
Now I reconstitute my cornfields

146
00:06:50,470 --> 00:06:53,242
using the "Reclaim Landscape" spell.

147
00:06:53,303 --> 00:06:54,803
My Husker Knights, revive!

148
00:06:56,068 --> 00:06:58,943
And I still have
my battle phase.

149
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:03,465
Hiding in the useless swamp,
the Immortal Maize Walker!

150
00:07:03,532 --> 00:07:05,703
I love corn!

151
00:07:05,766 --> 00:07:07,708
Ah!

152
00:07:07,764 --> 00:07:10,969
Cornfields give the immortal
maize walker triple damage.

153
00:07:11,030 --> 00:07:12,336
Uh...

154
00:07:12,396 --> 00:07:14,771
I told you cornfields
are awesome!

155
00:07:14,828 --> 00:07:16,702
Your Ancient Scholar
and Cool Dog

156
00:07:16,761 --> 00:07:18,500
won't survive this time.

157
00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:20,503
Actually, my Ancient
Scholar's been studying

158
00:07:20,559 --> 00:07:22,230
the "Raise the Dead" ability.

159
00:07:22,293 --> 00:07:24,133
- So what?
- So...

160
00:07:24,191 --> 00:07:26,725
My Ancient Scholar
raises the dead.

161
00:07:28,124 --> 00:07:29,396
I floop the pig.

162
00:07:29,456 --> 00:07:33,159
No-o-o-o-o-o!

163
00:07:33,221 --> 00:07:36,096
Look.
My towefls doing a thing.

164
00:07:36,153 --> 00:07:39,494
Hominy-hominy-hominy!

165
00:07:39,553 --> 00:07:41,826
You ganked
my Spirit Walker!

166
00:07:41,885 --> 00:07:43,362
Ah!

167
00:07:46,517 --> 00:07:49,153
Uh, maybe we should
take a break?

168
00:07:51,381 --> 00:07:52,824
Your turn.

169
00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:54,414
Huh?

170
00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:55,514
You Play!

171
00:07:55,580 --> 00:07:57,023
You Play!

172
00:07:58,013 --> 00:07:59,455
Oh, zang.

173
00:07:59,511 --> 00:08:01,420
I do not play such games...

174
00:08:01,478 --> 00:08:04,717
with Jake.

175
00:08:04,777 --> 00:08:08,617
Sorry! I gotta
use the boy style room.

176
00:08:08,675 --> 00:08:12,050
Beemo! Beemo!

177
00:08:12,108 --> 00:08:13,380
Beemo chop!

178
00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:16,042
If this were a real attack,
you'd be dead.

179
00:08:16,106 --> 00:08:18,605
Beemo! Jake's acting
boonoonoonoos!

180
00:08:18,671 --> 00:08:21,671
Oh, no! Are you winning
the game of Card Wars?

181
00:08:21,737 --> 00:08:23,680
- Yeah!
- That's terrible!

182
00:08:23,736 --> 00:08:26,679
If Jake loses that game,
he gets super depressed!

183
00:08:26,735 --> 00:08:30,372
When I beat him, he wouldn't
talk to me for a month!

184
00:08:30,434 --> 00:08:31,843
What?!

185
00:08:31,900 --> 00:08:33,843
I only played
so he wouldn't be bummed!

186
00:08:33,899 --> 00:08:36,637
Finn, you must take a dive.

187
00:08:36,697 --> 00:08:38,039
Okay, I'll try.

188
00:08:38,098 --> 00:08:40,370
But I'm a Card Wars
super Amadeus.

189
00:08:40,429 --> 00:08:42,997
Whoop!

190
00:08:43,062 --> 00:08:46,527
Play... the... game.

191
00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:48,538
Grob. Better make this look good.

192
00:08:50,359 --> 00:08:53,632
All right, Jake.
Prepare for my ultimo-attack!

193
00:08:53,691 --> 00:08:57,259
Well, I've still got
my Wandering Bald Man.

194
00:08:57,323 --> 00:08:59,028
Oh, no.

195
00:08:59,090 --> 00:09:00,499
I need to get rid of my pig

196
00:09:00,556 --> 00:09:04,327
so Jake can reconstitute
his cornfields.

197
00:09:04,387 --> 00:09:06,126
I activate the pig

198
00:09:06,187 --> 00:09:09,027
to attack your Wandering Bald Man.

199
00:09:09,086 --> 00:09:11,427
That's stupid.

200
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:12,860
Just attack
with Immortal Maize Walker

201
00:09:12,918 --> 00:09:14,519
and get the game over with!

202
00:09:14,583 --> 00:09:15,822
No way!

203
00:09:15,884 --> 00:09:21,690
You've underestimated me
and my pig all day.

204
00:09:21,748 --> 00:09:24,623
Please lose. Please lose.

205
00:09:32,111 --> 00:09:34,178
No-o-o-o!

206
00:09:41,474 --> 00:09:44,916
Oh-ho!
Oh! Oh, yeah!

207
00:09:44,973 --> 00:09:48,245
Pigs can't leave mud landscapes
once they're on them!

208
00:09:48,304 --> 00:09:51,179
Ha ha ha!
The pig is mine!

209
00:09:51,237 --> 00:09:53,941
First, I'll play Reclaim Landscape.

210
00:09:54,002 --> 00:09:56,673
Then I cast "Summon Archer Dan."

211
00:10:01,666 --> 00:10:04,371
Whoa, math...

212
00:10:09,064 --> 00:10:10,440
M'boys!

213
00:10:10,496 --> 00:10:12,336
You have no creatures left.

214
00:10:12,395 --> 00:10:14,669
That's the game, boy!

215
00:10:14,729 --> 00:10:18,330
The five winds blow through
cornfields once again

216
00:10:18,393 --> 00:10:20,836
for the glory of Jakoria!

217
00:10:20,893 --> 00:10:23,426
Heh. You got me.

218
00:10:23,492 --> 00:10:25,436
In your face!

219
00:10:25,491 --> 00:10:28,593
It's time to drink up!

220
00:10:28,656 --> 00:10:31,156
It looks like
you are the dweeb

221
00:10:31,223 --> 00:10:33,495
and Mn the cool guy.

222
00:10:39,519 --> 00:10:41,155
Is it too gross for you, man?

223
00:10:41,219 --> 00:10:42,662
No, no.

224
00:10:42,718 --> 00:10:44,422
I got to take what's coming to me.

225
00:10:47,850 --> 00:10:50,759
Hey, it's not that bad!
I like it!

226
00:10:50,815 --> 00:10:54,122
- What?!
- You want a taste?

227
00:10:56,012 --> 00:10:57,512
Ah, it's gross!

228
00:10:57,579 --> 00:10:59,818
In your face, dweeb!