[mouse squeaks]
[penguins chirp]
[all cheering]
[screeches]
♪ Adventure Time ♪
♪ Come on, grab your friends ♪
♪ We'll go to very distant lands ♪
♪ With Jake the Dog and Finn the Human ♪
♪ The fun will never end ♪
♪ It's Adventure Time ♪
Slam!
[laughing]
Hey, I was trying to read that!
That book is above your level.
What business are you into?
None of your business!
Talk about it over lunch?
[chuckles] If you're buying.
-Hey! -Hey!
[both] Fight!
[both grunting]
Agh! It's terrible!
Lumpy Space Princess?
What's wrong?
You guys, somebody stole something from me,
something I can't live without... [blabbering]
I'll get something to calm her down.
I've been robbed!
[Princess Bubblegum] Out of the way!
[shouting]
I need help! Can you guys hold her down?
Do something!
-I've been... -[needle pierces]
[slow] robbed.
[groaning]
[babbling]
-Oops. -LSP, who robbed you?
It... was... P-Pete...
Pete...
Sa-- sas-- as--
[blabbering]
I think I gave her too much.
Jake, a crime has been committed.
We must find the criminal...
We must.
...and retrieve whatever it is that was stolen
from Lumpy Space Princess!
Stolen.
But all we have to go on is part of a name...
Pete something.
Need more clues!
Hold me!
Clues, clues, clues...
[groans]
What's that?
I can't see it.
Oop. Sorry.
Ahh.
There's something in her hand!
A key!
A key to... what?
"Three-zero-three."
Hmm.
Ooh!
Turn it around.
Ah! Looks like we've got our first lead.
[mimics gun cocking]
Hmm.
Found anything yet, Jake?
I got some bags and...
Wait!
More bags.
But no leads on Pete something.
Same here.
BMO, start marking evidence.
Hmm.
Dude, check this.
Is this blood?
Yeah, man, that's definitely blood.
Hmm.
LSP's injuries were 100% emotional,
so it has to belong to Pete Sa-something.
BMO, take a sample, and do a full blood analysis,
the works.
Hey, if that guy cut himself during the robbery,
he might have gone somewhere to buy a mini adhesive bandage.
There's a drugstore across the street.
Let's roll!
Whoa!
[imitates engine, tires squealing]
And if the oozing persists, just come back,
[whispering] and I'll give you something a little stronger.
I'm Finn. This is my partner Jake.
Hello, citizen.
Had anyone in here looking to buy some mini adhesive bandages today?
A lot of people come through my store, gentlemen.
You can't seriously think I'd be able to remember
any one particular customer among the countless others I see
on a daily basis, now, can you?
I guess not.
Fair dues. Come on, Jake--
Wait!
Now that you mention it, there was this one guy in here earlier,
real suspicious type, had a nosebleed,
said it was the first one he'd had in years.
Used to get them all the time as a kid, he said.
Could never remember if he was supposed to pinch his nose
and hold his head back
or pinch his nose and hold his head forward.
Maybe it was a case of being boxed on the nose too many times,
made the blood vessels in his lower septum weak
and vulnerable to hemorrhaging.
Anyway, his mammy always said
it was because he couldn't keep all those picky little fingers
out of his dirty little nose holes.
He didn't buy it, though.
-He always thought-- -Ma'am, can you give us a name?
Mmm...
Nope.
No, wait.
Yes, I can.
Pete Sassafras.
Pete...
Sa-- sas-- as...
Did you catch which way he was going?
Of course.
He said he was catching a train at 11:27, Candy Kingdom Station,
Platform five. [chuckles]
I'm sorry. I wish I could remember more.
See anyone who might be our guy?
[sighs] Nope.
Nobody suspicious here.
Just a load of decent, law-abiding folk.
What the--
Jake, what's with all the turning into stuff today?
I really like turning into cop stuff.
I literally can't stop turning into cop stuff.
-[man over PA] Final boarding... -[Jake] Hey, there's platform five.
...service to Peppermint Hills, Track five.
[Jake gasps]
I see a nasty tranch!
Let's book 'em, son.
Sorry!
Whoa! Comin' through!
Stop right there!
What's under that skeezy
-trench coat, you-- -Crook!
Busted! For attempting to board a train without a ticket.
[train whistle toots]
Oh, guys, he's getting away!
We're not criminals, man!
-We're working the beat, just like you! -Jimmy?
Yep, checks out.
He tastes like police.
[sighs] Sorry about that, officers. It was an honest mistake.
[Finn sighs]
-We lost him. -[Jake] Not yet, we didn't.
[mimicking siren wailing]
[groans] It's too far ahead. We'll never catch it!
If we cut through the forest,
maybe we can head it off at the pass.
-Sweet thinking! -[imitates tires skidding]
[panting]
Whoa!
Oh!
Oh, deer!
-Yeah! -Yeah! [grunts]
Are you Pete Sassafras?
Wha? I... got a lot of names.
Who's askin'?
[mimics gun cocking]
Give back what you stole from LSP!
Who? What's that? An acronym or somethin'?
Cuff him.
[groans]
All right, I got this.
[grunting]
You have the right to remain--
[sighing]
Busted.
All right, you listen, flatfoot.
There's been some kind of crazy mistake here.
I didn't do nothin'!
Save it for the Candy judge, Pete.
Look, you can drop the act and cut the sass, Sassafras.
We've got an eyewitness and your blood at the scene of the crime.
You do the crime, you do the time, man.
Roll the dice, you pay the price.
What dice? Oh, you guys are donkers.
Burgle our friend, it's the end...
for you.
I want to see a lawyer.
[clears throat]
I'll handle this, Pete. You're upsetting my client.
Just look at that face.
That constitutes harassment, so give him some space.
Don't worry, buddy. I got this case.
[Jake and Finn laughing]
Welcome to the next 25 years of your life!
[sighs]
We deserve doughnuts.
Let's ball.
No, no, wait, please.
You guys!
Guilty!
Man, we didn't just crack that case.
We crunched it, crumbled it.
We are awesome at being cops.
There's no question about that.
Call me crazy, but I was thinking...
maybe we should actually become detectives, like as a job!
When we were out on the streets back there, getting those leads,
busting that perp, it just felt so-- I don't know--
-right. -I know, man.
I actually totally do know exactly what you mean.
-Oh, dude. -I told you,
I have a problem.
I can't stop.
[Finn sighs]
Howdy, partner.
Oh, hey, BMO. What's going on?
I've finished processing the blood sample, and I have the result.
-Nice. -Yeah, good work, BMO.
It's Pete Sassafras's blood, right?
No, it doesn't belong to anyone, because it's not blood.
It's tomato sauce.
Tomato sauce?
Hmm.
[Jake stammering]
Pete...
Sa-- sass-- as--
Pete... sa--
Oh, my mind!
LSP wasn't trying to say "Pete Sa-something."
She was trying to say "pizza" something!
But how would pizza sauce end up in a hotel room?
Unless it was delivered.
[both panting]
[both] Pizza Sassy's!
Where is the delivery guy?
Oh, you mean Petey. He's out.
He's making deliveries.
Or maybe he's out tying up loose ends.
[gasps] LSP could be in danger!
Danger!
-Phone? -Phone.
[panting]
[mimicking dialing tone]
Princess!
Add some banana guards outside of LSP's hospital room.
Huh? Why?
LSP could be in danger!
LSP woke up and went back to her hotel room.
Oh, my jam!
[both] He's already here!
[both yelling]
Can I help you?
[both] LSP!
[both screaming]
[LSP grunting]
[LSP] Hey! Hey, no! Oh, no!
What are you doing?
It was you.
-You did it! -[Petey] Help me!
I was just delivering the pizza she ordered,
and now she won't let me leave.
LSP, what is going on?
You said he stole something from you.
Well, he did!
He stole...
my heart!
[sobbing]
Hurry up, dude!
Right.
-Thanks! -Shh!
-Go! Go! -No tip, huh?
That's great. That's how it is around here.
Fine.
Huh? Huh? Come on, pal.
Turns out the only case here is just another case of LSP being nutty.
[Starchy] No!
Get away from me, you butchers!
[Princess Bubblegum] Starchy, you have a cold.
The cure is right here.
-Just let me-- -No!
Starchy only takes magic!
-Oh, come on. -Find me a wizard!
Nurse Pound Cake, hold Starchy while I administer the serum.
[winces]
What?
Look, I'm a nurse and all,
but my uncle is a magic worker,
and he cured my sadness about my marriage.
Oh. Listen, all magic is is scientific principles presented
like mystical hoo-doo,
which is fun, but it's sort of irresponsible.
I got your magic right here, OK?
And razzle dazzle! Flooby-doo!
Zamabamafoo!
Is that a real spell?
No, I'm making fun of spells.
Princess, you're being really disrespectful of my beliefs.
That was very close-minded!
Starchy, I just want to help.
Go away.
All right!
You want me to go to Wizard City and get you a cold spell?
You still think I'm a jerk?
All right, sit tight.
-How is he? -He's still sick.
[both] Aww.
Yo, that stinks!
Tonight's part three of his graveyard secrets workshop.
Yeah, Prubs, give him the medicine.
He won't take it.
He wants me to get him a cold spell from Wizard City.
-[both] Oh, OK. -That makes sense.
[sighs] Dude, you guys! Really?
Yeah, I mean, magic's probably more natchy for your body
in the long run.
[grunts] Have you two been to Wizard City?
Nope. "Wizards only."
Wizards don't play.
Trespassers get killed mad quick, like zap-zap.
Well, then, what?
-Let's stay home. Just kidding. -All right,
meet me outside of Wizard City in your freshest wizard johns.
[sneezes]
H-hurry, Princess.
[Finn] This is it?
[Jake] Yeah, man, this is it.
Well, what's with the wall?
Woop!
-What's over there? -Nothin'.
Just more mountains. I think the wall knows we're not wizards.
But we can trick it, right?
How do you trick a wall?
Don't know, man. I give up.
-For reals? -Yeah, I'm no good at this.
[Finn grunts]
That was a nice try, man.
Guys, hold up!
I got the password from the Ice King.
Apparently, the barrier only responds to the voice of real wizards.
[Ice King] No way! I'm no rat!
I am bound by the sacred trust of esoteric knowledge!
[Princess Bubblegum] Say the password, Ice King!
[Ice King] You think I'll just hand you the keys to the city?
I'd rather die.
[Princess Bubblegum] Say the password.
Password! Now!
[Ice King] Ow! My pinky! Ow.
"Wizards rule!"
The password is "Wizards Rule."
[Finn] Whoa!
-Powerful magicks. -[scoffs]
It's a vocal registry rigged to a vibration modulator.
The wall's still there.
It's just the density's all wobbled.
-Boo. -Um...
That's what it is, Jake.
All right, what am I, then? This don't look like magic to you?
It looks like a mutation.
Boring.
Yeah, right.
Just 'cause I know my shnoz.
Look at these dopes.
Half of these spells are all working on entanglement principles.
"Entanglement" is a spell where you get trapped in tree roots,
and sometimes they spike out and hook your flesh,
and you got to be like, "My body is clay. My spirit feels no pain."
Then you chop your way out and kill the wizard!
That's not what I meant, but whatevs.
Where's this magic shop?
These signs are weird. Let's ask somebody.
Hey, dudes. Yo, where's the--
Stand back, citizen.
Yeesh! OK. Who are these guys?
[Princess Bubblegum] They're like the city po-po or something.
Stranson Doughblow, you are guilty of impersonating a wizard,
as well as purchasing magic items from Ron James' Spell Palace.
-Bingo. -Wait!
I know some coin tricks.
The sentence is...
[groaning]
-Oh, my shrah! -Come on.
You saw that, right?
[entry bell rings]
Welcome, brothers!
Sorry about that biz outside.
[forced laughter]
Oh, what a silly non-magic user, right?
All right, bros.
Ronny James got mad spells for wizards of all EXPs.
No need for memorization, incantation, or hard-to-find bularoo.
Just rip one of these babies open, and you'll be like, "Ta-da!"
We got a bottle-returns program and all that shwazaa.
So, wha-za?
We need a spell for the cold.
Heck, yeah, brah. I got something.
Whoof.
This baby right here--
right here,
this is what you want, brothers.
How's it work?
It works by magic.
-It's a spell. -Dude.
What? I'm curious.
So, what's in it?
It's my secret brew, dawg.
So you want to sell me a product with no information?
It's a cold spell.
Made from what?
Magic.
What's the magic made out of, ding-dong?
Y'all is fakes!
-No, wait! -Bam!
[alarm sounding]
You're busted!
Yoink!
[screams]
Dang.
-Hey, Jake? -What?
Is PB straight-up naked right now?
Dude, don't make me feel any more awkward than I already do!
Dang! It's a dead end!
[whistling]
Abracadaniel!
Do I know you?
Dude, it's me, Finn! Quick, let us in!
Guys, I don't know. That's not my place.
I just work here, and I--
-Please! -Come on, man!
Shush!
Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on!
Yeah, when the lamb comes back,
Laser Wizard puts him on the altar.
Ooh.
Right, yeah. That's the plan--
[elevator clatters]
What the blutt, Abracadaniel?
What part of "secret society" don't you understand?
Whoa, whoa, whoa! We don't want trouble!
Just let us rest for a bit.
Oh, we gonna put you to rest-- for good!
Halt!
You are guilty of harboring non-magic users!
-Barrier! -We need an exit!
Oh, boy.
That's what you get for asking a magician about his tricks, PB!
Ghosts of the warp-plane, grant us passage into your realm.
-Hey, guys, wait for me! -Shush!
Whoa!
Receive your just punishment!
No! As ruler of the Candy Kingdom,
I demand parley with the Grand Master Wizard!
Princess Bubblegum!
For shame.
And I'm very disappointed in you, Abracadaniel.
However, Princess, since you have always been a dear friend
to the wizard community, just say, "Wizards rule,"
and you're all free to go.
Wha-- Really?
Hmm.
Psst. Wizards rule!
-No! -[coughs]
-[cat meows] -Oh!
All magic is science!
You just don't know what you're doing, so you call it magic!
And, well, it's ridiculous.
Wizard prison! All of you!
-Wizard prison! -No!
[Jake] Ridiculous, huh?
This isn't happening!
-Ho! -Ouch!
Would you look at that?
Hello.
Somebody better start crying into my hand.
[prisoners taunting]
Ugh! That's sick!
[male prisoner] You're right. I'm so ashamed.
Ow!
You two, in here!
I got cells upstairs for Princess and Milkface.
[sobbing]
I got traumatized by those underpanties.
This sucks.
Hey, let's count the days.
One.
Hey, PB, are you OK?
Yeah, I'm OK.
[Jake] Sleep tight, Princess!
Good night.
Stupid wizards.
[Jake] Two!
PB! Over here!
[grunts]
[all gasp]
-Bring it on. -What?
Are you two crazy?
I've had it with you silly wizards!
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Jake, we have to do something.
Fight!
[both grunting]
We need to get out of this.
Yeah, we still got to heal the snuffins out of Starchy
with this little baby here.
All this for a cold spell.
What the--
Ice? Hmm.
Hey, Milkface isn't dead.
Strike me down, and restore my honor.
No!
Sorry, but you have to kill him.
Otherwise, we'll kill all of yous two both.
Peebs! Incoming!
-What? -It's a "cold spell," not a cold spell.
Prisoner, drop that contraband magic!
[all gasping]
Whoa.
Get down!
Your magicks are powerful, PB.
OK. Let's get out of here.
Poor Starchy.
All that trouble, and we couldn't get any magic for him.
Hmm, I've got an idea.
[groaning]
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
Finally!
Healing magic.
Oh, I can feel it!
No!
Rubel-dubel dingel-dongell. [razzing]
♪ Come along with me ♪
♪ And the butterflies and bees ♪
♪ We can wander through the forest ♪
♪ And do so as we please ♪
♪ Come along with me ♪
♪ To a cliff under a tree ♪
[kid 1] Federator.
[kid 2] This party is so crazy!