1 00:00:15,473 --> 00:00:17,475 [indistinct chatter in background] 2 00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:22,022 [Luther grunts] 3 00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:23,189 [bell dings] 4 00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:25,400 [phone ringing] 5 00:00:27,902 --> 00:00:30,071 [Luther exhales] 6 00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:31,322 Good mornin'! 7 00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:33,700 -[phone rings] -For some. 8 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:35,869 Huh. 9 00:00:35,952 --> 00:00:38,455 ["The Passenger" by Iggy Pop playing] 10 00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:40,415 [exhales sharply, grunts] 11 00:00:51,968 --> 00:00:54,137 [raven cawing] 12 00:00:57,682 --> 00:00:59,768 ♪ I am the passenger ♪ 13 00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:02,937 -[Luther] Morning! -♪ And I ride, and I ride ♪ 14 00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:04,314 [raven squawking] 15 00:01:04,814 --> 00:01:08,026 ♪ I ride through the city's backsides ♪ 16 00:01:08,109 --> 00:01:11,237 -[cawing] -♪ I see the stars come out of the sky ♪ 17 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,783 ♪ Yeah they're bright in a hollow sky ♪ 18 00:01:14,866 --> 00:01:18,620 -[rapid grunts] -♪ You know it looks so good tonight ♪ 19 00:01:18,703 --> 00:01:19,704 [sighs] 20 00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:22,040 [Luther] Huh. 21 00:01:26,294 --> 00:01:28,296 ♪ I am the passenger… ♪ 22 00:01:28,379 --> 00:01:30,048 [ominous music playing] 23 00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:32,342 [ravens cawing] 24 00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:34,761 [cawing, wings fluttering] 25 00:01:34,844 --> 00:01:36,805 Oh shit. 26 00:01:37,972 --> 00:01:39,307 Shit! 27 00:01:39,390 --> 00:01:40,975 Whoa! 28 00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:43,103 [cawing] 29 00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:44,270 Whoa! 30 00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:48,691 [frightened whimpering] 31 00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:49,609 [grunts] 32 00:01:52,403 --> 00:01:53,363 [Luther groans] 33 00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:56,407 [ravens squawking] 34 00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:58,785 -[energy pulsing] -Oh… Whoa! 35 00:01:59,410 --> 00:02:00,537 Oh shit! 36 00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:04,833 Hello there, stranger. 37 00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:06,918 [dramatic orchestral music playing] 38 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,840 Oh! Hey. 39 00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:19,472 [ravens cawing] 40 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:28,523 [thunder rumbling] 41 00:02:29,190 --> 00:02:31,943 [somber orchestral music playing] 42 00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:34,696 This one, or this one? 43 00:02:34,779 --> 00:02:37,949 Uh-uh. I wanna hear about the time 44 00:02:38,032 --> 00:02:41,119 the Umbrella Academy defeated the robbers at the museum. 45 00:02:41,202 --> 00:02:42,662 [Allison] Again? 46 00:02:43,371 --> 00:02:45,290 Okay. [laughs softly] 47 00:02:46,457 --> 00:02:49,711 It was a dark and stormy night… 48 00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:52,922 [gasps] 49 00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:55,758 [excited breaths] 50 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,768 Claire, it's Mommy. 51 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,604 -Mommy? -[gasps] 52 00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:08,688 [screaming] 53 00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:10,148 What? 54 00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,567 -Who the hell are you? -Patrick? Wh-- 55 00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:15,862 -Mommy! Mommy! -What's going on? Who is this woman? 56 00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:17,197 Wh-- Where's my baby? 57 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:18,698 You have ten seconds to leave. 58 00:03:18,781 --> 00:03:21,284 -Where is Claire?! -Lady, there's no Claire here. 59 00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:23,411 -You're scaring her! -I'm sorry. I… 60 00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:26,831 [shuddering breaths] 61 00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:28,750 Something is wrong. 62 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,838 Something is very wrong. 63 00:03:34,505 --> 00:03:36,507 -[thunderclap] -[man clears throat] 64 00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:38,301 [man] We're here. Hotel Obsidian. 65 00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,772 [phone ringing] 66 00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:04,869 [pensive instrumental music playing] 67 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,249 We take all kinds here. 68 00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:38,069 [Sissy] You have given me 69 00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:41,447 the greatest gift of a lifetime. 70 00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:45,326 You let me feel alive for the first time. 71 00:04:46,577 --> 00:04:47,620 [weeping] 72 00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:49,622 You helped me find hope again. 73 00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:52,375 That's a wonderful thing. 74 00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:55,878 [emotional string music playing] 75 00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:20,278 [Sissy] You don't even notice the box that you're in 76 00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:23,406 until someone comes along and lets you out. 77 00:05:37,795 --> 00:05:39,380 -[barber] Can I help you? -Hey. 78 00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:44,844 Thanks. 79 00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:54,729 [groans] 80 00:05:56,981 --> 00:05:58,983 -[squeals] -[playful instrumental music playing] 81 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:00,109 [exhales sharply] 82 00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:02,653 [Diego snoring] 83 00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:13,289 [Diego continues snoring softly] 84 00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:24,675 [Klaus] Old Holland Road, Pennsylvania. 85 00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:26,552 -Hmm. -[Diego sighs] 86 00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:28,930 [snoring softly] 87 00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:34,811 [light jazz music playing] 88 00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:42,068 [phone ringing] 89 00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:54,122 Christ, what a dump. 90 00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:59,252 That little delinquent is your son? 91 00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:02,588 -Allegedly my son. -[laughs] That's so funny! 92 00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:07,385 Wait, who's… who's the mother? 93 00:07:07,468 --> 00:07:09,053 -Lila. -Excuse me? 94 00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:10,763 -Whoa, Lila's here? -[Diego] Was. 95 00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:13,099 She dropped him off in my lap last night then bolted. 96 00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:15,309 -I don't much care for that one. -Don't. 97 00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:16,853 Technically, she's family. 98 00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:19,188 She was trying to murder us, like, yesterday. 99 00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:22,733 Yeah, like I said, "family." Diego, is she coming back? 100 00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:24,235 Well, she goddamn better be 101 00:07:24,318 --> 00:07:27,405 because we got more important things to be dealing with right now! 102 00:07:27,488 --> 00:07:28,614 [Klaus] Calm down. Shh. 103 00:07:32,076 --> 00:07:35,288 -Where's Luther? -Who cares? Probably out for… a run. 104 00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:36,622 [Klaus] Mmm! 105 00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:38,499 Love the haircut. 106 00:07:42,378 --> 00:07:44,839 So I, uh, talked to Marcus last night. 107 00:07:44,922 --> 00:07:46,674 Wait, what? You talked with the enemy? 108 00:07:46,757 --> 00:07:48,843 -[Diego] By yourself? -Somebody had to do something. 109 00:07:48,926 --> 00:07:50,470 Who elected you, Vanya? 110 00:07:52,263 --> 00:07:53,681 It's, uh, Viktor. 111 00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:55,933 Who's Viktor? 112 00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:59,061 [dramatic music playing] 113 00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:01,772 I am. 114 00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:03,608 It's who I've always been. 115 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,367 -Uh, is that an issue for anyone? -[Klaus chuckles] 116 00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:15,036 Nah, I'm good with it. 117 00:08:15,119 --> 00:08:17,205 Yeah, me too. Cool. 118 00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:19,874 Truly happy for you, Viktor. 119 00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:23,127 But last time I checked, you don't speak for this family. 120 00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:25,838 Okay, well, it's fine, okay? Marcus totally gets it. 121 00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:28,049 He doesn't want a war any more than we do. 122 00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:30,468 What are you talking about? He tried to homicide us! 123 00:08:30,551 --> 00:08:33,054 -So did Lila, and you had a kid with her. -That's not the point! 124 00:08:33,137 --> 00:08:34,096 [Viktor] We made a deal. 125 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:37,767 He's gonna give back Five's briefcase, then we're gonna get out of the timeline. 126 00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:39,977 We're gonna meet later today for the, uh, the handover. 127 00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:40,895 Oh, thank God! 128 00:08:40,978 --> 00:08:43,272 That's a rookie move. Dude is playing you. 129 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,566 -Oh, really? -[Diego] Yeah, but maybe we can use this. 130 00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:48,611 And we turn it back on them, and then we wipe them the hell out. 131 00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:50,071 Diego, stop, please. 132 00:08:50,154 --> 00:08:52,782 And you're not gonna, like, do anything today. 133 00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:55,034 Except bond with your spawn. 134 00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:57,453 Alleged spawn. 135 00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:58,996 [Viktor] I will get the briefcase, 136 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,666 and then we will all go back and fix the timeline. 137 00:09:01,749 --> 00:09:05,002 Hey, we're not going anywhere! This is a perfectly acceptable timeline. 138 00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:08,714 Yeah, why don't you tell that to Allison, who's upstairs grieving her daughter, 139 00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:09,966 who doesn't even exist here! 140 00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,425 Not to mention, we've been replaced 141 00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:13,970 by a bunch of blobs and cubes and birds and shit! 142 00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:17,181 News flash, geniuses! It's not about us! 143 00:09:17,265 --> 00:09:18,432 Take a look around. 144 00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:20,977 If you hadn't noticed, there's no doomsday. 145 00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:23,604 There's no apocalypse. The sun is shining. 146 00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:25,982 Birds are doing whatever the hell birds do. 147 00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:29,026 That's all that matters. We're done messing with time. 148 00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:32,280 And I'm officially retired. 149 00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:33,614 [sniffing] 150 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,368 Is he wearing aftershave? 151 00:09:38,494 --> 00:09:39,704 I'm concerned. 152 00:09:39,787 --> 00:09:40,788 [energy thrumming] 153 00:09:40,871 --> 00:09:43,499 [shockwave pulsing] 154 00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:47,795 [distant screaming] 155 00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:59,515 Hey. What do you say we get outta here, huh? 156 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,976 Take a little… road trip. 157 00:10:02,893 --> 00:10:04,061 What are you talking about? 158 00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:06,856 I'm talking about a sojourn to the countryside. 159 00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:09,775 You and me, the wind in our hair. 160 00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:12,278 Thelma and Louise on the open road. 161 00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:13,863 You know they die in the end, right? 162 00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:15,531 Holding hands, 163 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:19,368 living our best life, my little cherub! 164 00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:20,911 [quietly] Listen to me. 165 00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:25,041 I nearly died from Luther's sleep farts last night. 166 00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:27,418 We need to get out of here, get some fresh air! 167 00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:29,462 Okay, I'll bite. Why me, Klaus? 168 00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:31,964 Because you said… you said you're retired, 169 00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:34,175 and that's what retired people do. 170 00:10:34,258 --> 00:10:35,760 [Klaus] And don't you deserve some fun? 171 00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:37,678 -[Five] There's no lobsters. -[Klaus] Excuse me? 172 00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,889 There were three lobsters in that tank a minute ago. 173 00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:43,601 Yeah, well, you know, maybe Chet blended 'em into a morning smoothie. 174 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:49,398 -You're an idiot, but I'm in. -Whoo! 175 00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:51,942 -[Stan] Let me go! Get your hands off me! -I saw what you did! 176 00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:53,611 Hey, what the hell are you doing? 177 00:10:53,694 --> 00:10:56,697 Your son stuffed three mini muffins down his pants. 178 00:10:56,781 --> 00:11:00,159 And this is a buffet! I can take whatever the hell I want! 179 00:11:00,951 --> 00:11:02,244 I got him. Come on. 180 00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,789 -[Stan] Wait, take it easy. -[Diego] Time for some ground rules. 181 00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:06,332 How about no physical assault? 182 00:11:06,415 --> 00:11:08,834 -That's a-- -Shut up and listen. 183 00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:12,838 -[phone ringing in background] -[distant siren wailing] 184 00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,258 My father was a Hall of Fame asshole. 185 00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:20,721 And when I was a little pissant like you, I made a promise to myself 186 00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:24,433 that I would never act like him to any kid of… mine. 187 00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,268 Yeah, stop. I'm gonna cry. 188 00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:29,689 But I'm a busy man, with a lot on my shoulders, okay? 189 00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:32,566 So I'm not gonna let you slow me down either, all right? 190 00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:34,735 Yeah, you look really busy right now. 191 00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:38,823 You can stay until your mom gets back, all right? 192 00:11:38,906 --> 00:11:41,075 But no more doing dumb shit, 193 00:11:41,158 --> 00:11:43,619 or else you and I are gonna have a serious problem. 194 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:44,662 Look at me. 195 00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:47,289 ¿Me entiendes? 196 00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:51,502 [playful instrumental music playing] 197 00:11:51,585 --> 00:11:52,586 Dude, your 198 00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:54,755 ear's leaking. 199 00:11:55,506 --> 00:11:57,007 Oh, I… 200 00:11:57,091 --> 00:12:00,094 Yeah, I forgot to pack my ear medicine. 201 00:12:00,177 --> 00:12:02,596 Oh sh-- Ear medicine, huh? 202 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:06,892 If I don't drain it, uh, pus leaks out, and it smells like cat puke. 203 00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:09,270 Come on. 204 00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:14,775 Whoa, whoa! Where do you think you're going? 205 00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:16,318 Kid thing. I'll be right back. 206 00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:17,695 No. I need you to stay put 207 00:12:17,778 --> 00:12:19,822 and not do anything stupid until I get the briefcase. 208 00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:22,032 Yeah, and you're not the boss of him, okay? 209 00:12:24,201 --> 00:12:25,536 -Who-- -[Klaus] Come on. 210 00:12:25,619 --> 00:12:27,580 We'll get a few road sodas for the journey. 211 00:12:27,663 --> 00:12:30,750 -Sometimes, you gotta clear the head out. -[Viktor] Guys, wait. Where are you going? 212 00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:33,669 -Get the rats out of the maze, you know? -[Five] Come on. 213 00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:43,179 [woman humming gently] 214 00:12:45,473 --> 00:12:46,432 Mom? 215 00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:48,684 Why do people keep calling me that? 216 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,936 [groans] Where am I? 217 00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:53,939 The Academy, silly. Everybody's waiting for you. 218 00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:55,232 [mysterious string music plays] 219 00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:56,525 The Academy? 220 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:59,820 [humming] 221 00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:02,198 [indistinct chatter in background] 222 00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:04,658 [blender whirring] 223 00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:06,577 [woman laughing in background] 224 00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:17,630 -Ah, there he is. -[blender stops whirring] 225 00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:19,840 Please, join us. 226 00:13:21,383 --> 00:13:23,886 It's okay. Nobody's gonna hurt you. 227 00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:25,513 -Smoothie? -Oh. 228 00:13:26,847 --> 00:13:28,557 Yeah, thanks. [chuckles] 229 00:13:30,017 --> 00:13:31,560 [Fei] You must be starving. 230 00:13:32,102 --> 00:13:33,354 [Luther] Oh, uh… 231 00:13:33,437 --> 00:13:36,941 No, I… I probably shouldn't. Is that cashew butter? 232 00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:40,945 Cashew butter, almond butter, sunflower butter, tahini, Brazil nut. 233 00:13:41,445 --> 00:13:42,822 Wow. You know what? 234 00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:45,407 Now that you mention it, I am feeling a little bit, uh, 235 00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:47,117 peckish, actually. 236 00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:48,494 -Help yourself. -[Luther] Thanks. 237 00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:51,080 [playful string music playing] 238 00:13:52,122 --> 00:13:52,957 [softly] Wow. 239 00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:56,585 [exhales] 240 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:05,010 So, we know you're Number One, 241 00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:07,638 but we haven't been formally introduced yet. 242 00:14:07,721 --> 00:14:09,515 I'm Ben, Number Two. 243 00:14:09,598 --> 00:14:12,852 It is so good to see you again, buddy. [chuckles] 244 00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:16,146 Why does everyone keep looking at me like that? 245 00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:19,024 Because you've been dead for 15 years. 246 00:14:19,608 --> 00:14:20,651 [Ben] Dead? 247 00:14:20,734 --> 00:14:22,403 What do you mean, dead? 248 00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:27,032 Kind of a long story. 249 00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:29,410 Anyway, I'm Fei, Number Three. 250 00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:31,745 Alphonso, cuatro. 251 00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:33,581 Sloane. Five. Hey. 252 00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:36,208 -Hey. -I'm Jayme, Six. 253 00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:38,752 [Ben] That's Christopher, of course. Number Seven. 254 00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:39,837 [Christopher speaks] 255 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:43,257 Oh, don't mind him. He's in a bit of a saucy mood today. 256 00:14:43,340 --> 00:14:45,050 [Sparrows chuckling] 257 00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:46,260 He wouldn't get it. 258 00:14:46,343 --> 00:14:47,469 It's just so-- [laughs] 259 00:14:48,178 --> 00:14:50,014 [laughs] 260 00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:52,516 Wait, uh, what about, um, Number One? 261 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,768 -What about him? -Where is he? 262 00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:57,062 -[gasps] -That's what we'd like to know. 263 00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:04,069 Are we playing a game? 264 00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:07,489 Whatever game the Umbrellas are playing, 265 00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:08,532 you're gonna lose! 266 00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:11,368 You took our Number One, 267 00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:13,913 so we took you. 268 00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:15,331 Wait, we took Marcus? 269 00:15:15,956 --> 00:15:18,042 [chuckles] Why would we do that? 270 00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:19,710 Act of war? Death wish? 271 00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:21,921 The last time we saw him, he was with your sister. 272 00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:24,131 -Which one? -The little one with the big powers. 273 00:15:24,214 --> 00:15:26,842 -Vanya? Huh. -[ominous music playing] 274 00:15:27,801 --> 00:15:30,137 Well, I gotta say, 275 00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:32,806 it does not sound like Vanya to go and kidnap anybody. 276 00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:34,433 [chuckles] You know, having said that, 277 00:15:34,516 --> 00:15:36,936 I am usually the last to know about these kinda things. 278 00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:39,980 You're their Number One. Shouldn't you know everything? 279 00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:41,440 I know. You'd think so, Ben. 280 00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:43,984 Discipline has never really been our strong suit. 281 00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:46,946 It's pretty much a free-for-all over there. [chuckles] 282 00:15:47,571 --> 00:15:48,447 So, listen. 283 00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:50,991 This sounds like an easy fix. 284 00:15:51,575 --> 00:15:52,409 I'll head back. 285 00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:55,496 I mean, my family's probably worried sick about me, to be honest. 286 00:15:55,579 --> 00:15:58,791 And if they have your guy, I'll send him back without a scratch. 287 00:15:58,874 --> 00:16:00,751 All right? No harm, no foul. 288 00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:03,212 How's that sound? 289 00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:04,129 Good? 290 00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:06,006 Great. 291 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:10,052 What's the rush? Stick around till Marcus is back. 292 00:16:10,552 --> 00:16:15,683 [Christopher speaks menacingly] 293 00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:17,601 [Luther] My family will come for me. 294 00:16:18,852 --> 00:16:19,687 Wonderful. 295 00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:22,314 In the meantime, make yourself at home. 296 00:16:24,191 --> 00:16:25,484 Oh, and, uh… 297 00:16:27,152 --> 00:16:29,863 before I forget, if you try to escape, 298 00:16:29,947 --> 00:16:33,993 Fei's birds will peck your eyes out and make a nest inside your skull. 299 00:16:34,868 --> 00:16:36,495 [chuckles] 300 00:16:37,204 --> 00:16:38,122 Cool. 301 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:46,005 So, what do you like to do for fun? 302 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,980 [Viktor] Hey, d'you get any sleep? 303 00:17:03,063 --> 00:17:04,356 [food tray rattles] 304 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,483 Brought you some breakfast. 305 00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:10,112 I'm not hungry. 306 00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:13,991 Come on. You should really eat something. 307 00:17:14,074 --> 00:17:16,535 -This is all my fault. -Stop. No. 308 00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:19,163 I knew something could go wrong if we came back. 309 00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:21,081 I knew it, and I risked it anyway. 310 00:17:22,249 --> 00:17:25,544 I left Ray to be with Claire, and now… 311 00:17:26,336 --> 00:17:28,005 Now it's like she never existed. 312 00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:33,677 And I don't even have a picture of her. 313 00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:39,058 [sighs] 314 00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:41,894 There might be a way out of this. 315 00:17:45,355 --> 00:17:46,356 What do you mean? 316 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:49,568 Five's briefcase. I'm gonna try and get it back. 317 00:17:51,653 --> 00:17:52,488 How? 318 00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:55,199 I'm meeting Marcus again today. We're gonna do a trade. 319 00:17:55,282 --> 00:17:56,617 "Again"? 320 00:17:56,700 --> 00:18:00,079 -Yeah, I went to see him last night, and-- -Alone? What were you thinking? 321 00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:02,456 I needed to do something. 322 00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:05,250 For you. For… For all of us. 323 00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:10,297 -[scoffs] -What? What do you-- 324 00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:12,091 If you think I'm not coming, you're insane! 325 00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:15,260 If you think I don't want you there with me, then you're even crazier. 326 00:18:18,388 --> 00:18:19,473 [soft chuckle] 327 00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:24,394 Just don't give up yet, okay? 328 00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:30,067 Since when are you the optimist? 329 00:18:31,151 --> 00:18:33,153 Making a few changes, I guess. 330 00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:34,363 The hair? 331 00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:38,575 It's a bit more than that, actually, but… 332 00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:41,662 I'll explain on the way. 333 00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:44,206 Okay. 334 00:18:46,416 --> 00:18:49,336 [slurping loudly] 335 00:18:49,419 --> 00:18:51,839 [playful instrumental music playing] 336 00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:53,298 [belching] 337 00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:57,719 Berlin, here we come. 338 00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:01,390 [briefcase whirs] 339 00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:02,808 [briefcase powers down] 340 00:19:02,891 --> 00:19:04,268 Uh… 341 00:19:04,351 --> 00:19:06,562 Come on, work, you stupid briefcase. 342 00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:11,066 [briefcase whirs, sputters] 343 00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:14,653 [sputtering] 344 00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:18,115 I'm ready to go! 345 00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:23,036 Mother! Cunt! Bitch! 346 00:19:23,579 --> 00:19:24,830 Fuck off! 347 00:19:24,913 --> 00:19:27,958 Why won't you fucking work, 348 00:19:28,041 --> 00:19:29,793 you little bitch! 349 00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:33,630 I need to get to Berlin! 350 00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:34,548 Fuck! 351 00:19:35,257 --> 00:19:37,718 ["The Oogum Boogum Song" by Brenton Wood playing] 352 00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:42,598 ♪ Oogum, oogum, boogum, boogum ♪ 353 00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:45,309 ♪ Boogum now, baby You're castin' your spell on… ♪ 354 00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:50,981 This actually isn't so terrible. 355 00:19:52,065 --> 00:19:53,483 See? Told you. 356 00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:56,361 Come to think of it, my whole life I've been under the gun. 357 00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:57,404 Missions for Dad, 358 00:19:57,487 --> 00:20:00,616 working for the Commission, trying to survive the apocalypse. 359 00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:02,910 I was always looking around every corner, 360 00:20:02,993 --> 00:20:05,746 just waiting for the other shoe to drop. 361 00:20:05,829 --> 00:20:08,373 -It's nice to just breathe. -Good for you, man. 362 00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:10,542 Retirement is suiting you. 363 00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:13,003 Oh! Uh… All right! 364 00:20:13,086 --> 00:20:16,840 So, I've circled all the roadside attractions along the way. 365 00:20:16,924 --> 00:20:19,843 -I'm not sure we're gonna have time… -We have the Brownsville Big Nickel. 366 00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:22,137 Oh, Ricky's Bakery has award-winning pies. 367 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,932 -If you just let me explain… -Or there's this Cow Henge. 368 00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:26,183 That's it-- Don't-- 369 00:20:26,266 --> 00:20:28,310 Listen to me. Just shut up for two seconds, okay? 370 00:20:28,393 --> 00:20:30,270 Just two seconds? All right? 371 00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:34,358 Okay, I'm all ears. 372 00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:40,030 We are going to Pennsylvania to find 373 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:43,075 my birth mother. Yay! 374 00:20:43,158 --> 00:20:45,077 -Excuse me? -I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry. 375 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,996 I just needed somebody to come with me for emotional support. 376 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,123 Oh, emotional support, like a Schnauzer? 377 00:20:50,207 --> 00:20:53,377 I knew you wouldn't come if I told you, so what was I supposed to do? 378 00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:56,213 You're goddamn right I wouldn't have come, Klaus. You know why? 379 00:20:56,296 --> 00:20:59,424 -Because I am supposed to be retired! -I know! 380 00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:01,551 This was supposed to be a carefree road trip. 381 00:21:01,635 --> 00:21:03,303 Well, it still can be, babe. 382 00:21:04,137 --> 00:21:05,806 [Five] Ball of Twine? Klaus, turn! 383 00:21:05,889 --> 00:21:08,016 -Ball of Twine! Turn! -What? Five! Five! 384 00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:10,519 It is one of the best ones! Come on! 385 00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:13,689 -Five, we're gonna die! Whoo! -I don't care! Let go! 386 00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:16,108 [Five] You know what? No twine, no birth mother! 387 00:21:16,191 --> 00:21:17,651 Why didn't you tell me sooner? 388 00:21:17,734 --> 00:21:19,403 I didn't-- Well, I… 389 00:21:19,486 --> 00:21:22,489 Uh, I just… I can't believe I never realized. 390 00:21:22,572 --> 00:21:23,573 Well, how would you? 391 00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:25,784 No, I know, I just-- I feel like such an asshole. 392 00:21:25,867 --> 00:21:29,413 Hey, just… shut up for two seconds? 393 00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:34,626 You couldn't have known 'cause, 394 00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:37,296 I mean, I didn't fully. 395 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,174 Being with Sissy… 396 00:21:43,176 --> 00:21:46,638 I don't know. She… opened something in me. 397 00:21:49,474 --> 00:21:52,728 Showed me I'd never be free hiding from who I really am. 398 00:21:56,690 --> 00:21:59,067 And after losing her, I realized… 399 00:22:02,195 --> 00:22:03,280 [sighs] 400 00:22:03,363 --> 00:22:05,615 I just can't live in that box anymore. 401 00:22:08,201 --> 00:22:09,077 I won't. 402 00:22:13,957 --> 00:22:16,209 [dramatic string music playing] 403 00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:19,171 You know, I always hated mirrors. 404 00:22:20,297 --> 00:22:23,216 I thought everybody felt so strange in their skin. 405 00:22:26,887 --> 00:22:28,638 I guess that's not true, right? 406 00:22:31,850 --> 00:22:33,310 What do you see now? 407 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:42,361 Me. 408 00:22:46,531 --> 00:22:47,532 Just me. 409 00:22:53,872 --> 00:22:55,832 Thank you for trusting me with this. 410 00:22:56,666 --> 00:22:58,710 You're family, Viktor. 411 00:22:59,795 --> 00:23:00,629 Okay? 412 00:23:01,338 --> 00:23:02,756 And there's nothing… 413 00:23:03,632 --> 00:23:05,717 nothing that would make me love you less. 414 00:23:17,562 --> 00:23:19,106 Come on. 415 00:23:24,861 --> 00:23:26,029 [Klaus] Yeah, you know. 416 00:23:26,947 --> 00:23:29,616 I don't know why, but I thought it'd be a lot bigger. 417 00:23:29,699 --> 00:23:31,118 -[Five] Seems pretty big to me. -Ehh. 418 00:23:31,201 --> 00:23:32,702 Here's the real question. 419 00:23:32,786 --> 00:23:35,872 How do you know your birth mother is in Pennsylvania? 420 00:23:36,915 --> 00:23:41,211 Well, because I was on the ass end of a two-week bender, 421 00:23:41,294 --> 00:23:42,963 and I can't tell you the exact date 422 00:23:43,046 --> 00:23:45,966 because we were boofing Xanax and the whole business, 423 00:23:46,049 --> 00:23:48,176 but Amy Winehouse was at the top of the charts. 424 00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:51,221 So that puts us somewhere, where? In the mid to late aughts? 425 00:23:52,389 --> 00:23:56,059 [Klaus] I helped myself into Dad's office, looking for the key to his safe 426 00:23:56,143 --> 00:23:58,937 'cause he had Pogo lock up all the stealables. 427 00:23:59,938 --> 00:24:03,608 But instead, I found a treasure trove of our family history 428 00:24:03,692 --> 00:24:06,027 told in expired check stubs. 429 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:09,114 [shudders] 430 00:24:09,739 --> 00:24:11,408 [Klaus] Rachel Herschberger? 431 00:24:11,491 --> 00:24:14,536 [soft string music playing] 432 00:24:14,619 --> 00:24:17,664 [Klaus] I was too messed up to, uh, do anything about it, 433 00:24:17,747 --> 00:24:18,957 too scared to look her up. 434 00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:20,750 But always in the back of my mind, 435 00:24:20,834 --> 00:24:23,795 I wondered why she sold me off for three grand. 436 00:24:23,879 --> 00:24:27,257 I mean, come on, she couldn't have held out for five? Six? 437 00:24:27,841 --> 00:24:29,301 You see anything about my mother? 438 00:24:29,384 --> 00:24:31,595 No. Sorry. 439 00:24:32,929 --> 00:24:34,973 -Why now? -Well, duh. 440 00:24:35,056 --> 00:24:37,100 Dad disowns us. Grace isn't Grace. 441 00:24:37,184 --> 00:24:39,186 Ben's… gone. 442 00:24:39,269 --> 00:24:43,064 Now just felt like a good a time as any to find out who I could've been 443 00:24:43,148 --> 00:24:45,775 if I didn't grow up in this stupid family. 444 00:24:45,859 --> 00:24:48,195 Well, can you really call what we had a family? 445 00:24:48,278 --> 00:24:49,613 No. It's more like a-- 446 00:24:49,696 --> 00:24:52,199 -Institute for Snarky Delinquents. -[laughs] 447 00:24:52,282 --> 00:24:53,533 And not a good one at that. 448 00:24:53,617 --> 00:24:55,660 But what is family? What is it? 449 00:24:55,744 --> 00:24:59,581 It's like some kind of giant… ball of twine 450 00:24:59,664 --> 00:25:01,500 that can never be untangled. 451 00:25:01,583 --> 00:25:05,253 A giant ball of obligation I've been pushing uphill my entire life. 452 00:25:05,337 --> 00:25:07,255 [Klaus] And the older you get, the bigger it gets. 453 00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:10,383 -And the more you try and untangle it… -You watch it roll down the hill… 454 00:25:10,467 --> 00:25:12,427 [in unison] And what's the point? 455 00:25:12,928 --> 00:25:15,013 Hey, I'm glad you came along. 456 00:25:17,015 --> 00:25:19,142 You're a good brother. 457 00:25:22,604 --> 00:25:25,190 All right, all right. You say nice things about me now. 458 00:25:27,901 --> 00:25:29,611 Let's go find your stupid mother. 459 00:25:29,694 --> 00:25:31,821 [whimsical string music swells] 460 00:25:31,905 --> 00:25:33,740 Love you too, tiny dancer! 461 00:25:34,449 --> 00:25:36,952 [Diego] Hurry up. All right? We gotta get back to the hotel. 462 00:25:37,035 --> 00:25:38,578 [Stan] Yeah, I gotta find the right one. 463 00:25:38,662 --> 00:25:41,164 -Just get the no-name shit. -Have you tried the no-name shit? 464 00:25:41,248 --> 00:25:44,376 No, because ears don't squirt juice every time I get excited. 465 00:25:44,459 --> 00:25:46,545 Yeah, then trust me. I need my brand. 466 00:25:48,922 --> 00:25:50,215 [entrance bell chimes] 467 00:25:50,298 --> 00:25:51,883 [Alphonso] Jayme, get me munchies. 468 00:25:53,885 --> 00:25:56,388 -Oh, I found it-- -[shushes] 469 00:25:56,471 --> 00:25:57,806 -Go wait outside. -[Stan] Why? 470 00:25:57,889 --> 00:25:59,766 [Diego] I'm about to kick this fool's ass. 471 00:26:01,226 --> 00:26:03,603 -Don't worry. I got your back. -Go. 472 00:26:03,687 --> 00:26:07,232 [suspenseful music playing] 473 00:26:11,278 --> 00:26:12,153 [sniffs] 474 00:26:13,572 --> 00:26:14,656 [sniffs] 475 00:26:14,739 --> 00:26:15,574 [Jayme humming] 476 00:26:20,537 --> 00:26:21,830 [clerk clears throat] 477 00:26:22,914 --> 00:26:24,416 [hisses] 478 00:26:37,721 --> 00:26:38,680 [sniffs] 479 00:26:40,682 --> 00:26:41,891 [Diego whistles] 480 00:26:49,190 --> 00:26:50,775 Well, isn't this a coinkidink? 481 00:26:50,859 --> 00:26:53,028 Only dink I see is yours, tough guy. 482 00:26:56,990 --> 00:26:58,867 -You followed me here? -Don't flatter yourself. 483 00:26:58,950 --> 00:27:03,246 Leave now, or I'm gonna spank you like the little bitch you are. 484 00:27:03,330 --> 00:27:05,040 ["Quando Quando Quando" playing] 485 00:27:05,123 --> 00:27:06,750 Take your best shot, tubby. 486 00:27:10,795 --> 00:27:12,339 -[bone cracks] -Oh shit! 487 00:27:12,422 --> 00:27:15,050 I know. Doesn't feel good, does it? 488 00:27:16,968 --> 00:27:20,972 ♪ Tell me quando, quando, quando ♪ 489 00:27:22,474 --> 00:27:25,352 ♪ We can share a love divine ♪ 490 00:27:25,435 --> 00:27:26,728 [grunts] 491 00:27:27,812 --> 00:27:31,816 ♪ Please don't make me wait again ♪ 492 00:27:36,780 --> 00:27:38,782 [Diego groans] 493 00:27:40,283 --> 00:27:41,368 [sharp exhale] 494 00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:45,163 ♪ When will you say yes to me? ♪ 495 00:27:45,246 --> 00:27:46,414 Ah shit! 496 00:27:48,667 --> 00:27:52,837 ♪ Tell me quando, quando, quando ♪ 497 00:27:52,921 --> 00:27:53,963 [bone snaps] 498 00:27:54,047 --> 00:27:56,841 -♪ You mean happiness to me ♪ -[grunts] 499 00:27:59,302 --> 00:28:02,639 ♪ Oh, my love please tell me when ♪ 500 00:28:05,225 --> 00:28:06,768 [panting] 501 00:28:07,644 --> 00:28:08,603 Dude, your chin. 502 00:28:11,064 --> 00:28:12,524 It does that sometimes. 503 00:28:23,159 --> 00:28:24,244 [groans] 504 00:28:25,412 --> 00:28:26,830 Stanley, no! 505 00:28:27,455 --> 00:28:28,790 [Stan groans] 506 00:28:29,374 --> 00:28:30,875 Goddamnit! 507 00:28:30,959 --> 00:28:32,502 Ow, my leg! 508 00:28:32,585 --> 00:28:35,880 -You getting how this works yet? -That's my kid, asshole! 509 00:28:35,964 --> 00:28:36,798 [Alphonso groans] 510 00:28:39,342 --> 00:28:41,553 Are you getting tired yet? Heart's getting weaker? 511 00:28:41,636 --> 00:28:43,847 Not… even close. 512 00:28:45,306 --> 00:28:46,558 [Alphonso snarls] 513 00:28:49,144 --> 00:28:51,104 [panting] 514 00:28:51,187 --> 00:28:53,857 -You all right? Where'd he get you? -I'm fine. I'm fine! 515 00:28:53,940 --> 00:28:55,608 -[Diego] Oh, you'll be all right. -Oh dear! 516 00:28:59,988 --> 00:29:03,950 You're good. You're okay. It's not that bad. Stop crying, all right? 517 00:29:05,243 --> 00:29:07,245 [hissing] 518 00:29:10,540 --> 00:29:15,795 ♪ To a joy beyond compare ♪ 519 00:29:15,879 --> 00:29:17,756 ♪ I can't wait a moment more… ♪ 520 00:29:17,839 --> 00:29:19,007 [Stan] Watch out! 521 00:29:20,675 --> 00:29:22,427 That girl was gonna hork on you, dude. 522 00:29:22,510 --> 00:29:23,845 -[hisses] -[Diego] Move! Get down! 523 00:29:25,096 --> 00:29:26,389 [groans] 524 00:29:26,473 --> 00:29:29,559 -I can handle my own shit! -Yeah, sure you can. [grunts] 525 00:29:29,642 --> 00:29:31,144 [chuckles] 526 00:29:31,227 --> 00:29:32,604 [Diego grunts angrily] 527 00:29:33,897 --> 00:29:35,940 -Fuck yeah! -Hey, watch your mouth! 528 00:29:36,608 --> 00:29:37,776 [Jayme groans] 529 00:29:39,319 --> 00:29:41,112 [groans] 530 00:29:42,655 --> 00:29:43,740 [Alphonso whimpers] 531 00:29:44,574 --> 00:29:45,700 Come on. 532 00:29:45,784 --> 00:29:48,119 [grunts] What? No way! We were kicking their asses! 533 00:29:48,203 --> 00:29:51,039 "He who fights and walks away lives to fight another day." Okay? 534 00:29:51,122 --> 00:29:52,707 -That's some lame-ass shit. -Yeah, I know. 535 00:29:52,791 --> 00:29:53,875 ♪ When? ♪ 536 00:30:11,392 --> 00:30:13,686 Son of a bitch! Klaus is Amish. 537 00:30:13,770 --> 00:30:15,814 -This explains everything. -[cows mooing] 538 00:30:15,897 --> 00:30:18,233 -How does this explain anything? -Because look! 539 00:30:18,316 --> 00:30:19,567 Look at this place! 540 00:30:20,568 --> 00:30:22,403 This is everything my childhood was missing. 541 00:30:22,487 --> 00:30:24,072 -Hey, uh, Klaus? -[Klaus] Yeah? 542 00:30:24,155 --> 00:30:25,448 Wait up a minute. 543 00:30:25,532 --> 00:30:27,659 Doppelgänger check. You feel anything strange? 544 00:30:27,742 --> 00:30:31,162 Uh, itching, sweats, gas, anything like that? 545 00:30:31,246 --> 00:30:33,206 No. No, I feel great. 546 00:30:33,289 --> 00:30:37,460 Apart from the old rash on the tackle, but what can you do? 547 00:30:38,211 --> 00:30:39,879 All right, good luck. 548 00:30:40,588 --> 00:30:42,715 What? Wait, you're not coming? 549 00:30:43,383 --> 00:30:45,301 -This one you gotta do alone. -[Klaus sighs] 550 00:30:45,385 --> 00:30:46,469 Alone? 551 00:30:46,970 --> 00:30:48,054 Yeah, okay. 552 00:30:48,930 --> 00:30:50,473 Yeah, I can do that, sure. 553 00:30:50,557 --> 00:30:54,269 [pensive instrumental music playing] 554 00:30:54,978 --> 00:30:56,312 Hello there. 555 00:30:57,564 --> 00:30:59,858 [Klaus] Yoo-hoo! Guten haben. 556 00:31:16,291 --> 00:31:17,375 -Mom. -[gasps] 557 00:31:20,128 --> 00:31:21,296 Nay, English. 558 00:31:22,171 --> 00:31:23,423 No mothers here. 559 00:31:24,716 --> 00:31:25,758 Only rabbits. 560 00:31:25,842 --> 00:31:27,385 Oh, I'm so sorry. 561 00:31:27,927 --> 00:31:30,471 I… I'm looking for Rachel Herschberger. 562 00:31:31,848 --> 00:31:33,057 [man] No Rachel. 563 00:31:33,141 --> 00:31:35,018 [Klaus] Oh, okay. 564 00:31:35,101 --> 00:31:37,145 Well, that's a shame. 565 00:31:37,228 --> 00:31:38,980 Do you happen to know where I might find her? 566 00:31:39,063 --> 00:31:41,608 -I'm trying to track her down. -[man] There's no Rachel here. 567 00:31:41,691 --> 00:31:45,445 Now, walk your fancy boots back to town where you belong, and leave us be. 568 00:31:45,528 --> 00:31:46,738 Okay. [chuckles] 569 00:31:46,821 --> 00:31:49,407 All right. No need to get your knickers in a twist there. 570 00:31:49,490 --> 00:31:50,867 [woman] Caleb, let the boy speak. 571 00:31:50,950 --> 00:31:53,703 You're upsetting the womenfolk, and now you're upsetting me. 572 00:31:53,786 --> 00:31:54,996 No, that's not-- 573 00:31:55,079 --> 00:31:57,332 I'm not upsetting the womenfolk. Are you kidding? 574 00:31:57,415 --> 00:31:58,750 Womenfolk love me. 575 00:31:58,833 --> 00:32:00,084 [Caleb grunts] 576 00:32:00,168 --> 00:32:02,962 Ow! Jesus Christ! What's the matter with you? 577 00:32:03,046 --> 00:32:06,174 I… I thought you people were supposed to be nice! 578 00:32:06,257 --> 00:32:09,177 [Caleb] That's what you call a misconception, English. 579 00:32:09,260 --> 00:32:10,219 All right, fine. 580 00:32:10,970 --> 00:32:12,221 Fine! 581 00:32:12,931 --> 00:32:14,140 But I want you to know 582 00:32:14,724 --> 00:32:17,727 that you have ruined the Amish for me, forever! 583 00:32:17,810 --> 00:32:18,978 In here. 584 00:32:19,604 --> 00:32:20,563 Ruined! 585 00:32:23,274 --> 00:32:25,777 [Caleb] It's okay, Sarah-Beth. He's leaving. 586 00:32:26,486 --> 00:32:28,905 [upbeat instrumental music playing] 587 00:32:33,785 --> 00:32:35,328 This place is incredible! 588 00:32:35,411 --> 00:32:37,956 We had the old lounge taken out and had this put in. 589 00:32:38,039 --> 00:32:41,501 You know, I thought the home theater and the Zen garden were impressive, 590 00:32:41,584 --> 00:32:43,211 but this is just next-level! 591 00:32:44,712 --> 00:32:45,672 You know, 592 00:32:46,589 --> 00:32:49,425 I always wanted the Umbrella Academy to be like this. 593 00:32:49,509 --> 00:32:51,636 You guys actually do stuff together! 594 00:32:51,719 --> 00:32:52,679 You don't? 595 00:32:53,346 --> 00:32:54,305 Uh… 596 00:32:55,306 --> 00:32:56,474 Nah, not really. 597 00:32:56,557 --> 00:32:58,559 So, our brother died 598 00:32:59,852 --> 00:33:00,895 when we were kids. 599 00:33:00,979 --> 00:33:02,105 Number Six. Our Ben. 600 00:33:02,188 --> 00:33:03,189 Oh, I'm so sorry. 601 00:33:03,272 --> 00:33:05,900 Yeah, and after that, nobody really gave a shit. 602 00:33:05,984 --> 00:33:07,735 Everyone had their own agenda, 603 00:33:07,819 --> 00:33:10,363 and it's like pulling teeth to get anybody to actually care. 604 00:33:11,030 --> 00:33:15,702 And then, I guess after a while, I stopped caring myself. 605 00:33:15,785 --> 00:33:17,704 You know, about training, the missions… 606 00:33:18,871 --> 00:33:22,291 About… being Number One. [scoffs] 607 00:33:23,501 --> 00:33:25,545 You're not what I was expecting. 608 00:33:26,212 --> 00:33:28,006 -I'm not? -No. 609 00:33:28,089 --> 00:33:29,841 You're actually really sweet. 610 00:33:29,924 --> 00:33:32,051 [gentle piano music playing] 611 00:33:32,135 --> 00:33:33,177 [soft exhale] 612 00:33:38,266 --> 00:33:41,019 If I could, I'd get out of here in a heartbeat. 613 00:33:41,769 --> 00:33:42,645 Why can't you? 614 00:33:43,688 --> 00:33:45,064 Why couldn't you? 615 00:33:45,148 --> 00:33:46,149 Fair point. 616 00:33:46,858 --> 00:33:50,111 This house, it's all I've ever known my entire life. 617 00:33:51,154 --> 00:33:53,573 And I know there are better places out there in the world, 618 00:33:53,656 --> 00:33:56,534 and one day, I want to see them all. 619 00:33:57,827 --> 00:33:58,995 You know, I, uh… 620 00:34:00,997 --> 00:34:02,874 I spent a little time on the moon. 621 00:34:02,957 --> 00:34:05,334 What? That is so cool! 622 00:34:06,878 --> 00:34:09,964 -You think so? -Yeah! The moon? 623 00:34:10,048 --> 00:34:12,133 -My God. No one ever thinks that's cool. -Yes! 624 00:34:12,216 --> 00:34:13,760 [both laughing] 625 00:34:13,843 --> 00:34:15,428 The moon, yeah! 626 00:34:24,312 --> 00:34:25,229 [soft gasp] 627 00:34:26,439 --> 00:34:29,317 So, tell me a little bit more about that family of yours 628 00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:31,402 before they decide to come and rescue you. 629 00:34:31,486 --> 00:34:33,362 Where are you guys staying anyway? 630 00:34:33,446 --> 00:34:35,823 Oh, just some dumpy hotel downtown. 631 00:34:35,907 --> 00:34:36,783 Uh, the Hotel-- 632 00:34:39,452 --> 00:34:41,662 -You're trying to honey trap me. -No, no, no. 633 00:34:41,746 --> 00:34:44,665 No, of course. Luther, you're so stupid! 634 00:34:44,749 --> 00:34:46,417 Oh, wow! You really think the moon is cool? 635 00:34:46,501 --> 00:34:47,919 -Luther, I wasn't-- -Duh! 636 00:34:48,002 --> 00:34:49,003 -I'm such-- -[raven caws] 637 00:34:50,797 --> 00:34:52,131 Ben would like a word. 638 00:34:53,132 --> 00:34:54,217 Go get cleaned up. 639 00:34:56,177 --> 00:34:58,137 -Luther, I wasn't trying--- -Sloane. 640 00:35:01,641 --> 00:35:04,352 [ominous music playing] 641 00:35:13,069 --> 00:35:15,822 [ominous music swells] 642 00:35:19,867 --> 00:35:22,245 [shockwave pulsing] 643 00:35:22,328 --> 00:35:25,623 [country song plays on radio] ♪ Well, it's a cryin' shame ♪ 644 00:35:26,541 --> 00:35:28,709 [singing along] ♪ You don't even know my name ♪ 645 00:35:28,793 --> 00:35:30,128 [energy pulsing] 646 00:35:30,211 --> 00:35:32,463 -♪ But every time you pass me by ♪ -[mooing] 647 00:35:32,547 --> 00:35:34,549 ♪ Girl, it makes me wanna cry ♪ 648 00:35:34,632 --> 00:35:37,552 -♪ It's a cryin' shame ♪ -[distressed mooing] 649 00:35:38,136 --> 00:35:39,720 ♪ I go inside the-- ♪ 650 00:35:41,347 --> 00:35:42,306 What is…? 651 00:35:47,061 --> 00:35:49,647 Oh, can't I get one fucking day off? 652 00:36:00,032 --> 00:36:02,535 I wasn't sure what kind you like best. 653 00:36:03,995 --> 00:36:05,621 You did create all of them. 654 00:36:06,539 --> 00:36:08,166 [energy thrumming] 655 00:36:22,805 --> 00:36:24,849 [thrumming loudly] 656 00:36:24,932 --> 00:36:29,270 [Grace breathes heavily] 657 00:36:30,855 --> 00:36:32,064 [Grace exhales sharply] 658 00:36:40,031 --> 00:36:41,949 -Hey! -[Sarah-Beth screams] 659 00:36:42,033 --> 00:36:43,117 Sorry! Sorry, sorry, sorry. 660 00:36:43,201 --> 00:36:45,036 -I don't want any trouble. -No, no! 661 00:36:45,119 --> 00:36:46,454 Hey. 662 00:36:46,537 --> 00:36:49,207 You know Rachel, don't you? 663 00:36:49,290 --> 00:36:50,333 She's my sister. 664 00:36:50,416 --> 00:36:51,876 Oh! 665 00:36:51,959 --> 00:36:52,877 [laughs] 666 00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:54,086 Hey! [chuckles] 667 00:36:55,296 --> 00:36:58,090 So, where can I find her? 668 00:36:58,174 --> 00:37:01,177 Young man, she's been dead for over 30 years. 669 00:37:01,260 --> 00:37:03,304 -Oh. -[soft piano music playing] 670 00:37:03,387 --> 00:37:06,307 So, but… how did she die? 671 00:37:06,390 --> 00:37:07,725 Brain hemorrhage. 672 00:37:08,476 --> 00:37:09,936 Took her quick, thank the Lord. 673 00:37:10,019 --> 00:37:10,978 What about her son? 674 00:37:11,062 --> 00:37:12,021 What son? 675 00:37:12,813 --> 00:37:15,274 Wait. When did she die again? 676 00:37:15,358 --> 00:37:17,151 She passed October 1st, 677 00:37:18,152 --> 00:37:19,153 1989. 678 00:37:20,571 --> 00:37:21,489 Oh. 679 00:37:23,491 --> 00:37:26,202 -What's the matter? -No, it's just that that's my… 680 00:37:27,662 --> 00:37:28,913 That's my birthday. 681 00:37:29,956 --> 00:37:32,500 -[Caleb] English, the cows are missing! -You need to leave. Now. 682 00:37:32,583 --> 00:37:34,043 -Oh! Oh shit! -Go now! 683 00:37:35,336 --> 00:37:37,463 [ticking loudly] 684 00:37:37,546 --> 00:37:40,675 [distorted chatter in background] 685 00:37:40,758 --> 00:37:43,302 [distorted laughter] 686 00:37:43,928 --> 00:37:45,221 [laughing] 687 00:37:46,514 --> 00:37:47,640 [screaming] 688 00:37:48,266 --> 00:37:49,183 Listen. 689 00:37:50,309 --> 00:37:52,937 You know how to use this briefcase, right? 690 00:37:53,020 --> 00:37:55,273 Because last time Klaus tried it, he ended up in Vietnam, 691 00:37:55,356 --> 00:37:57,942 and I can't handle another screwup, Viktor, I swear to God, I can't. 692 00:37:58,025 --> 00:37:59,610 I know, I know. 693 00:38:00,361 --> 00:38:01,404 Me neither. 694 00:38:03,656 --> 00:38:05,283 Hey, Five is an asshole… 695 00:38:05,366 --> 00:38:06,200 Yes. 696 00:38:06,284 --> 00:38:07,952 …but he's not a monster. 697 00:38:09,578 --> 00:38:11,956 When we explain what this means to us, he'll help. 698 00:38:12,039 --> 00:38:13,165 He has to. 699 00:38:15,668 --> 00:38:17,545 But first, we need to get that briefcase. 700 00:38:19,380 --> 00:38:20,631 [bell jingles] 701 00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:23,801 [man] Here you go. 702 00:38:25,094 --> 00:38:28,097 -[Klaus] Five! Five! -[playful instrumental music playing] 703 00:38:28,180 --> 00:38:30,057 Start the car, would ya? 704 00:38:31,058 --> 00:38:32,727 -[Amish clamoring] -Oh my… 705 00:38:32,810 --> 00:38:35,271 Shit, shit, shit! Five! 706 00:38:36,605 --> 00:38:38,316 Start the car! 707 00:38:38,399 --> 00:38:40,318 Five! Start the car! 708 00:38:40,401 --> 00:38:42,611 Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry! 709 00:38:42,695 --> 00:38:46,741 -Why can't you just get along with people? -I tried. Really, I did. I tried! 710 00:38:46,824 --> 00:38:49,285 -Wait, wait, wait! -Hold on a second! 711 00:38:49,368 --> 00:38:50,745 -Take this. -What is it? 712 00:38:50,828 --> 00:38:53,539 Rachel's death was unusual, and she wasn't the only one. 713 00:38:53,622 --> 00:38:55,541 Come on! Get in the car, Klaus! 714 00:38:55,624 --> 00:38:56,876 You have her eyes. 715 00:38:56,959 --> 00:38:59,503 -English, go! -[Five] Klaus, it's now or never! 716 00:38:59,587 --> 00:39:00,504 Klaus! 717 00:39:00,588 --> 00:39:02,381 Go, go! 718 00:39:02,465 --> 00:39:04,467 [car engine starts] 719 00:39:04,550 --> 00:39:07,303 [Amish yelling and clamoring] 720 00:39:07,386 --> 00:39:09,722 This whole timeline's chock-full of riddles. Get this. 721 00:39:09,805 --> 00:39:12,850 My mom died here before I was even born! 722 00:39:12,933 --> 00:39:14,602 [brakes screeching] 723 00:39:15,227 --> 00:39:16,979 -What did you just say? -Yeah. 724 00:39:20,483 --> 00:39:21,942 [bell jingles] 725 00:39:24,403 --> 00:39:25,780 He's not gonna show. 726 00:39:25,863 --> 00:39:27,615 Something must be wrong. 727 00:39:27,698 --> 00:39:29,658 Or he's blowing you off. 728 00:39:29,742 --> 00:39:31,077 He's not the type. 729 00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:33,746 And you know that after spending 15 minutes together? 730 00:39:38,125 --> 00:39:41,587 [ominous music playing] 731 00:39:41,670 --> 00:39:43,714 [in Southern accent] We don't let your kind in here. 732 00:39:43,798 --> 00:39:44,924 What did you say? 733 00:39:49,345 --> 00:39:51,430 [server] I said you're still here. 734 00:39:51,514 --> 00:39:54,016 Do you wanna order while you're waiting for your friend? 735 00:39:54,100 --> 00:39:55,142 -Yeah. -No, that-- 736 00:39:55,226 --> 00:39:57,353 -[baby crying] -I'll be back. No rush. 737 00:39:57,895 --> 00:39:59,688 -Allison, are you okay? -[Allison] I… I… 738 00:40:01,482 --> 00:40:02,983 I don't-- [sniffles] 739 00:40:03,567 --> 00:40:04,985 [Claire] One more story, Mommy. 740 00:40:05,069 --> 00:40:06,404 Claire, honey. 741 00:40:06,487 --> 00:40:08,280 -[rapid breaths] -[Claire] Mom, I want a story! 742 00:40:08,364 --> 00:40:10,616 [voice echoes] I heard a rumor that you're really tired. 743 00:40:10,699 --> 00:40:13,285 -[screaming] -Allison, come on. What is happening? 744 00:40:13,369 --> 00:40:14,495 Where is Claire?! 745 00:40:14,578 --> 00:40:16,372 -I need to get some air. -Hey! 746 00:40:16,455 --> 00:40:17,498 Where are you g--? 747 00:40:19,333 --> 00:40:21,335 [panting] 748 00:40:24,672 --> 00:40:26,048 [Allison] What are you looking at? 749 00:40:33,431 --> 00:40:34,306 [Allison] Hey! 750 00:40:41,856 --> 00:40:43,357 [Allison] Hey, I'm talking to you! 751 00:41:04,587 --> 00:41:06,255 [urine trickling] 752 00:41:06,338 --> 00:41:07,548 [bottles clinking] 753 00:41:08,507 --> 00:41:09,592 Oh! 754 00:41:09,675 --> 00:41:10,551 Sorry. 755 00:41:10,634 --> 00:41:13,012 [murmuring] 756 00:41:15,181 --> 00:41:16,223 [Viktor] Allison? 757 00:41:18,225 --> 00:41:19,310 Are you okay? 758 00:41:19,393 --> 00:41:20,978 [wheels of cart squeaking] 759 00:41:21,937 --> 00:41:22,813 [Allison] Yeah. 760 00:41:23,397 --> 00:41:24,440 Um… 761 00:41:27,485 --> 00:41:28,360 Let's go. 762 00:41:40,331 --> 00:41:43,209 [wind howling] 763 00:41:47,671 --> 00:41:49,798 [Jayme] You were basically screaming for help. 764 00:41:49,882 --> 00:41:51,884 [Alphonso] I wasn't screaming. I was kicking his ass. 765 00:41:51,967 --> 00:41:53,344 You couldn't breathe, but… 766 00:41:53,427 --> 00:41:55,804 Doesn't look like your family is coming anytime soon. 767 00:41:55,888 --> 00:41:57,890 Oh, no, I'm sure they're just, 768 00:41:57,973 --> 00:42:00,184 you know, working out the final details and… 769 00:42:00,267 --> 00:42:01,602 -[floorboards creak] -…such. 770 00:42:04,188 --> 00:42:06,273 Relax. You're free to go. 771 00:42:06,357 --> 00:42:07,191 Why? 772 00:42:07,775 --> 00:42:09,026 Gesture of goodwill. 773 00:42:09,109 --> 00:42:12,488 But I want you to pass along a very important message to your family. 774 00:42:12,571 --> 00:42:13,572 Yeah, of course. 775 00:42:15,449 --> 00:42:16,784 Let Marcus go. 776 00:42:16,867 --> 00:42:20,996 And if any of you hurt one hair on him, we'll come for you. 777 00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:23,332 -[Ben] All of you. -[ominous music playing] 778 00:42:23,415 --> 00:42:26,544 And I promise we won't be so hospitable next time. 779 00:42:28,045 --> 00:42:30,047 Super don't like being threatened, Ben. 780 00:42:30,130 --> 00:42:32,132 You'll do as we say, or else… 781 00:42:32,633 --> 00:42:34,134 [ravens screeching] 782 00:42:34,218 --> 00:42:36,303 Birds. In my brain. 783 00:42:36,387 --> 00:42:38,013 -[raven caws] -Got it. 784 00:42:38,097 --> 00:42:40,224 Don't forget your tote bag. [snaps fingers] 785 00:42:47,189 --> 00:42:48,983 Hope you enjoyed your stay. 786 00:42:49,567 --> 00:42:50,901 [raven caws] 787 00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:23,601 [raven caws] 788 00:43:23,684 --> 00:43:24,893 [wings fluttering] 789 00:43:29,356 --> 00:43:30,733 [raven screeches] 790 00:43:31,942 --> 00:43:32,943 [gasps] 791 00:43:33,027 --> 00:43:34,778 [laughs softly] 792 00:43:35,487 --> 00:43:38,365 [laughing] Oh! 793 00:43:38,449 --> 00:43:39,450 Excuse me. 794 00:43:39,533 --> 00:43:41,952 I mean, who does that? Who does it? 795 00:43:42,036 --> 00:43:43,621 [jazz piano playing in background] 796 00:43:43,704 --> 00:43:46,206 What are you mumbling about? 797 00:43:46,290 --> 00:43:47,166 Lila. 798 00:43:47,833 --> 00:43:49,710 Dumping Stan on me after all these years? 799 00:43:49,793 --> 00:43:51,629 -I mean, that's not right. -[scoffs] 800 00:43:51,712 --> 00:43:54,381 Hey, man. If you did the deed, don't blame her for the consequences. 801 00:43:54,465 --> 00:43:55,424 That's not the point. 802 00:43:55,507 --> 00:43:56,675 Oh, what's the point? 803 00:43:57,259 --> 00:43:58,844 He's cramping my style. 804 00:43:59,428 --> 00:44:03,557 I need to be able to react to danger on a moment's notice. 805 00:44:03,641 --> 00:44:06,602 How am I to do that when I'm playing wet nurse to a 12-year-old? 806 00:44:06,685 --> 00:44:08,520 You're his dad! 807 00:44:08,604 --> 00:44:10,314 Alleged dad. 808 00:44:12,232 --> 00:44:14,026 Well, at least you have a kid. 809 00:44:18,489 --> 00:44:20,199 [Allison] Can I get another one? 810 00:44:25,037 --> 00:44:27,206 [Five] Okay, gather round, people. 811 00:44:27,873 --> 00:44:30,000 Where is-- Where's every-- Where's Luther? 812 00:44:30,084 --> 00:44:31,418 -Haven't seen him. -Who knows? 813 00:44:31,502 --> 00:44:33,462 Anybody know where-- Okay, you know what? 814 00:44:33,545 --> 00:44:35,673 We got bigger problems to worry about right now. 815 00:44:35,756 --> 00:44:36,757 Like what? 816 00:44:38,926 --> 00:44:40,302 This. 817 00:44:40,386 --> 00:44:42,346 [suspenseful orchestral music playing] 818 00:44:42,429 --> 00:44:43,639 [Viktor] Who are they? 819 00:44:43,722 --> 00:44:45,683 [Five] These are our mothers. 820 00:44:49,061 --> 00:44:50,062 That one's mine. 821 00:44:52,189 --> 00:44:53,273 They're all dead. 822 00:44:53,816 --> 00:44:56,110 They all died on the exact same day, 823 00:44:56,193 --> 00:44:57,986 October 1st, 1989. 824 00:44:58,070 --> 00:45:00,197 -[Viktor] That's our birthday. -Not anymore, it isn't. 825 00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:01,782 They all died before we were born. 826 00:45:01,865 --> 00:45:04,743 That's dumb. If we weren't born, how can we exist? 827 00:45:04,827 --> 00:45:06,870 -Exactly. -What are you saying? 828 00:45:07,621 --> 00:45:11,208 I'm saying, when we jumped here, we created a time paradox. 829 00:45:11,291 --> 00:45:13,419 All right? Not just any paradox. 830 00:45:13,502 --> 00:45:16,171 This is the grandfather paradox. 831 00:45:16,255 --> 00:45:18,465 What the hell is a grandfather paradox? 832 00:45:25,514 --> 00:45:28,892 [distant police siren wailing] 833 00:45:34,857 --> 00:45:36,066 [Sloane] Psst! 834 00:45:36,150 --> 00:45:38,110 [whispering] Luther! Hey! 835 00:45:38,777 --> 00:45:41,488 ["Higher Love" by Lilly Winwood playing] ♪ Think about it ♪ 836 00:45:42,281 --> 00:45:45,117 ♪ There must be a higher love ♪ 837 00:45:45,993 --> 00:45:50,205 ♪ Down in the heart Or in the stars above ♪ 838 00:45:50,831 --> 00:45:52,583 ♪ Without it ♪ 839 00:45:53,167 --> 00:45:55,878 -[Luther] Whoa! What the… -♪ Life is wasted time ♪ 840 00:45:56,628 --> 00:45:58,714 ♪ Look inside your heart ♪ 841 00:45:58,797 --> 00:46:01,675 ♪ I'll look inside of mine ♪ 842 00:46:02,634 --> 00:46:05,804 ♪ Things look so bad everywhere ♪ 843 00:46:05,888 --> 00:46:06,889 [thud] 844 00:46:08,223 --> 00:46:10,517 ♪ In this whole world ♪ 845 00:46:10,601 --> 00:46:11,685 ♪ What's fair? ♪ 846 00:46:11,769 --> 00:46:13,228 Go get 'em, T. J. [crunching] 847 00:46:13,312 --> 00:46:16,857 ♪ We walk blind and we try to see ♪ 848 00:46:19,193 --> 00:46:22,863 ♪ Falling behind in what could be ♪ 849 00:46:24,656 --> 00:46:27,659 ♪ Bring me a higher love… ♪ 850 00:46:29,244 --> 00:46:30,329 Hey. 851 00:46:30,412 --> 00:46:31,663 -Shit. -[Sloane] Oh… 852 00:46:31,747 --> 00:46:34,208 -Okay, now what? -Here. Yes. 853 00:46:34,792 --> 00:46:35,918 [window creaking] 854 00:46:36,001 --> 00:46:37,795 Just need to… [grunts] 855 00:46:37,878 --> 00:46:39,546 Just… Yeah. Okay. 856 00:46:39,630 --> 00:46:42,090 [Sloane] Um, I'm gonna take this from you. 857 00:46:43,509 --> 00:46:44,635 We have to be quiet. 858 00:46:44,718 --> 00:46:47,012 [sighs] What the hell do you want from me? 859 00:46:47,095 --> 00:46:51,058 I wanted to apologize for earlier. 860 00:46:51,141 --> 00:46:52,851 Is this another one of your games? 861 00:46:52,935 --> 00:46:54,353 No, you don't understand. 862 00:46:54,436 --> 00:46:55,854 We were being watched. 863 00:46:55,938 --> 00:46:56,897 What? By who? 864 00:46:56,980 --> 00:46:59,149 My family. They're crazy. 865 00:46:59,233 --> 00:47:03,487 But I want to let you know, I meant every word I said. 866 00:47:04,154 --> 00:47:05,697 Even about the moon? 867 00:47:05,781 --> 00:47:07,783 Especially about the moon. 868 00:47:11,495 --> 00:47:12,579 Well, um… 869 00:47:15,916 --> 00:47:17,376 Is anyone watching us now? 870 00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:20,212 No. But I mean, we should be-- 871 00:47:20,295 --> 00:47:23,465 ♪ We walk blind and we try to see ♪ 872 00:47:25,300 --> 00:47:28,428 ♪ Falling behind in what could be ♪ 873 00:47:30,931 --> 00:47:33,809 ♪ Bring me a higher love ♪ 874 00:47:36,478 --> 00:47:40,190 ♪ Bring me a higher love ♪ 875 00:47:41,984 --> 00:47:44,862 ♪ Bring me a higher love ♪ 876 00:47:46,405 --> 00:47:49,074 ♪ Where's this higher love ♪ 877 00:47:49,157 --> 00:47:51,702 ♪ I've been thinking of? ♪ 878 00:47:52,995 --> 00:47:56,331 ♪ I will wait for it ♪ 879 00:47:58,834 --> 00:48:03,130 ♪ I'm not too late for it ♪ 880 00:48:03,922 --> 00:48:08,343 ♪ Until then, I'll sing my song… ♪ 881 00:48:08,427 --> 00:48:12,347 [rock violin music playing]