1 00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:14,057 [light instrumental music playing] 2 00:00:15,475 --> 00:00:17,477 -[typewriter clacking] -[narrator] Paradox Protocols. 3 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:20,897 The Complete Commission Guide to Temporal Anomalies. 4 00:00:20,980 --> 00:00:23,941 Chapter 68, "The Grandfather Paradox." 5 00:00:24,025 --> 00:00:25,485 [typewriter dings] 6 00:00:25,568 --> 00:00:28,321 [narrator] It's New Jersey, 1953, 7 00:00:28,404 --> 00:00:31,240 and Elmer Tatelman hates his grandfather. 8 00:00:31,824 --> 00:00:34,327 Elmer blames everything on his grandfather. 9 00:00:34,827 --> 00:00:37,538 His mother's pain, his father's death, 10 00:00:37,622 --> 00:00:39,707 and his own sad life. 11 00:00:39,791 --> 00:00:43,211 How many times do I have to tell you, no goddamn peas! 12 00:00:43,294 --> 00:00:46,380 You don't like what I cook, you can make it yourself! 13 00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:51,219 [narrator] This could have been just another sad tale about soup, 14 00:00:51,302 --> 00:00:52,512 except for one thing. 15 00:00:53,471 --> 00:00:55,223 Elmer is about to invent… 16 00:00:55,306 --> 00:00:58,184 [electricity crackling] 17 00:00:58,267 --> 00:00:59,435 …time travel. 18 00:01:01,312 --> 00:01:04,690 You see, Elmer has decided the key to his future happiness 19 00:01:04,774 --> 00:01:06,192 is to go back in time 20 00:01:07,068 --> 00:01:09,195 and kill his grandfather. 21 00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:11,948 Sidney Tatelman? 22 00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:13,866 That's me. 23 00:01:14,617 --> 00:01:16,160 -Whoa! -[patrons gasp] 24 00:01:16,244 --> 00:01:19,997 [narrator] Elmer completed his mission, but he's made one crucial mistake. 25 00:01:20,081 --> 00:01:20,915 [woman moaning] 26 00:01:20,998 --> 00:01:23,167 [narrator] He went too far back in time. 27 00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:26,671 [man] You're so beautiful. 28 00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,631 Oh baby! [moaning] 29 00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:32,176 [narrator] You see, murdering his grandfather in 1905 30 00:01:32,260 --> 00:01:36,597 meant that Elmer's mother didn't exist to meet his father in 1925. 31 00:01:36,681 --> 00:01:37,932 [buzzer sounds] 32 00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:44,480 [narrator] Which made certain that Elmer himself was never born. 33 00:01:44,564 --> 00:01:45,523 [buzzer sounds] 34 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:49,152 [narrator] Elmer killed his grandfather, so his mother was never born. 35 00:01:49,235 --> 00:01:52,738 But if his mother was never born, Elmer no longer exists. 36 00:01:52,822 --> 00:01:54,532 But if Elmer no longer exists, 37 00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:57,118 how could he possibly kill his grandfather? 38 00:01:57,910 --> 00:02:00,329 And around and around we go. 39 00:02:00,913 --> 00:02:03,082 Elmer has created a paradox, 40 00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:05,376 the grandfather paradox. 41 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:06,919 The most pernicious problem 42 00:02:07,003 --> 00:02:09,881 in The Commission Handbook of Paradox Protocols. 43 00:02:11,090 --> 00:02:13,050 This story is not true. 44 00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:15,469 But if it were, Elmer would have placed 45 00:02:15,553 --> 00:02:19,807 time, space, and every living thing in grave peril. 46 00:02:19,891 --> 00:02:21,809 [audience cheering] 47 00:02:21,893 --> 00:02:23,144 [narrator] Don't be an Elmer! 48 00:02:23,227 --> 00:02:24,395 [man in audience] Bravo! 49 00:02:24,896 --> 00:02:26,689 [narrator] We've been lucky so far. 50 00:02:28,149 --> 00:02:32,612 With your help, constant vigilance, and a little strategic violence, 51 00:02:32,695 --> 00:02:37,074 the Commission will make certain nothing like this ever happens. 52 00:02:37,158 --> 00:02:38,910 [cheering continues] 53 00:02:38,993 --> 00:02:42,121 [narrator] Or God help us all. 54 00:02:42,205 --> 00:02:43,456 [woman in audience] Bravo! 55 00:02:51,005 --> 00:02:52,506 Go on. Go! [laughs] 56 00:02:52,590 --> 00:02:54,258 But when will I see you again? 57 00:02:54,342 --> 00:02:56,719 Go on. Go before someone sees you. 58 00:03:06,395 --> 00:03:08,105 [sighs] 59 00:03:12,235 --> 00:03:13,444 Mmm. 60 00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:15,571 [contented grunt] 61 00:03:15,655 --> 00:03:18,199 ["Do You Believe in Magic" by The Lovin' Spoonful playing] 62 00:03:20,284 --> 00:03:22,703 ♪ Do you believe in magic ♪ 63 00:03:22,787 --> 00:03:24,705 -♪ In a young girl's heart? ♪ -Wait! Sir? 64 00:03:24,789 --> 00:03:26,457 -♪ How the music can free her ♪ -[whistles] 65 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,084 -♪ Whenever it starts ♪ -[playful growl] 66 00:03:28,167 --> 00:03:29,710 ♪ And it's magic ♪ 67 00:03:29,794 --> 00:03:31,754 ♪ If the music is groovy ♪ 68 00:03:31,837 --> 00:03:35,216 ♪ It makes you feel happy Like an old-time movie… ♪ 69 00:03:36,467 --> 00:03:37,927 Beautiful evening, isn't it? 70 00:03:38,427 --> 00:03:42,556 ♪ But it's like trying to tell a stranger 'Bout-a rock 'n' roll ♪ 71 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:45,268 ♪ If you believe in magic ♪ 72 00:03:45,351 --> 00:03:47,103 ♪ Don't bother to choose ♪ 73 00:03:47,186 --> 00:03:49,105 ♪ If it's jug band music… ♪ 74 00:03:49,605 --> 00:03:51,983 -Yeah. How much, chief? -Two bucks. 75 00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:53,109 Two. 76 00:03:57,071 --> 00:03:58,656 Oh, and, uh… 77 00:04:00,491 --> 00:04:01,450 Some of… 78 00:04:01,951 --> 00:04:03,077 Some of those. 79 00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:04,829 Condoms? 80 00:04:05,329 --> 00:04:06,914 -For sex. -[both chuckle] 81 00:04:06,998 --> 00:04:09,125 Which is a thing I do now. 82 00:04:10,376 --> 00:04:11,460 [murmurs] 83 00:04:12,545 --> 00:04:13,379 Anything else? 84 00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:15,339 [energy pulsing loudly] 85 00:04:15,423 --> 00:04:17,508 Anything else… Hmm. 86 00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:19,176 [electricity crackling] 87 00:04:20,261 --> 00:04:21,887 [music distorts, fades] 88 00:04:21,971 --> 00:04:24,223 [electricity powers down] 89 00:04:27,393 --> 00:04:29,020 -[energy whooshing] -[splattering] 90 00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:36,444 [distant police siren wailing] 91 00:04:36,527 --> 00:04:37,403 Well, 92 00:04:38,112 --> 00:04:39,030 shit. 93 00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:41,073 [crickets chirping] 94 00:04:42,992 --> 00:04:44,118 Hey, did you-- 95 00:05:00,426 --> 00:05:03,346 [song resumes] ♪ If you believe in magic ♪ 96 00:05:03,429 --> 00:05:05,348 ♪ Come along with me ♪ 97 00:05:05,431 --> 00:05:08,768 ♪ We'll dance until morning Till there's just you and me… ♪ 98 00:05:08,851 --> 00:05:09,727 [Stan grunts] 99 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,729 -[Diego] I'm so confused. -Shocking. 100 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:14,899 Well, someone killed our mothers, so we shouldn't exist. 101 00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:16,609 But clearly, we do exist, 102 00:05:16,692 --> 00:05:19,111 and the universe can't handle it, which is a problem. 103 00:05:19,195 --> 00:05:20,696 Big problem. [sighs] 104 00:05:21,739 --> 00:05:23,157 -Yah! -Stanley! 105 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,576 Now is not the time to be doing karate, okay? 106 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:28,537 -Mom said I need to practice. -Yeah, well, she's not wrong. 107 00:05:28,621 --> 00:05:30,581 -You're very bad. -Well, I saved your pathetic ass. 108 00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:33,084 Okay, hold on. Five, so we caused a paradox. 109 00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:34,835 -What does that mean? -It's hard to say. 110 00:05:34,919 --> 00:05:38,672 It's all been theoretical until now, but things have started to disappear. 111 00:05:38,756 --> 00:05:39,673 What things? 112 00:05:39,757 --> 00:05:40,758 Right now? 113 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,510 Uh, lobsters. 114 00:05:42,593 --> 00:05:45,221 And a shit ton of cows! 115 00:05:45,304 --> 00:05:47,431 But I have a feeling this is just the beginning. 116 00:05:47,515 --> 00:05:50,101 A feeling? Aren't you retired? 117 00:05:50,184 --> 00:05:51,310 I want nothing more. 118 00:05:51,394 --> 00:05:52,937 You know, you can't drag us through hell 119 00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,689 because you have an itch only an apocalypse can scratch 120 00:05:55,773 --> 00:05:57,900 and then expect us to deal with the fallout. 121 00:05:57,983 --> 00:05:58,901 You're not the boss. 122 00:05:58,984 --> 00:06:00,861 Fine, I'm the messenger, 123 00:06:00,945 --> 00:06:03,447 and I'm telling you something terrible is coming. 124 00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:06,826 Then let's go attack the Sparrows, get the briefcase, and go home. 125 00:06:06,909 --> 00:06:09,829 This is our home, Allison. Accept it. 126 00:06:10,329 --> 00:06:12,248 [clattering] 127 00:06:13,249 --> 00:06:15,835 -That's it! I'm telling your mom. -Ooh! 128 00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:16,877 Wait, where's Lila? 129 00:06:16,961 --> 00:06:18,796 Shower. I told her she could stay with us. 130 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,589 [Viktor] Wait. When did Lila get back? 131 00:06:20,673 --> 00:06:21,549 Five, where you going? 132 00:06:21,632 --> 00:06:24,468 Go talk to somebody who only has half her head up her ass. 133 00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:26,637 [Klaus] Don't leave, Five. Don't leave. 134 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,264 [Five] No, Klaus. I'm leaving. 135 00:06:29,098 --> 00:06:31,225 I mean, he has a good track record with this stuff. 136 00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:33,519 -I feel like we should listen to him. -Sure. 137 00:06:33,602 --> 00:06:34,645 Hey, quick question. 138 00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:37,022 [Stan] Cobra Kai! Yeah! 139 00:06:37,106 --> 00:06:41,569 Do none of you heartless bastards care about our murdered moms? 140 00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:43,654 Klaus, the only one that we knew plugged into a wall. 141 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,823 Oh yeah? Well, this is my real mother. 142 00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:47,992 And she's called Rachel. 143 00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:50,119 [voice breaking] And I have her eyes. 144 00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:51,537 See? 145 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:54,373 Come on! 146 00:06:54,457 --> 00:06:57,293 We need to find out who did this! This is the thing! 147 00:06:57,376 --> 00:06:58,711 This is the main thing! 148 00:06:58,794 --> 00:07:00,421 -Is that all you want? -Yeah. 149 00:07:00,504 --> 00:07:03,132 'Cause it's obviously Dad, all right? He knew where we were born. 150 00:07:03,215 --> 00:07:05,718 He hated us in '63. Boom. Murders. 151 00:07:05,801 --> 00:07:08,762 You think Dad is capable of killing innocent people? 152 00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:10,222 -[Diego guffaws] -Absolutely. 153 00:07:10,306 --> 00:07:11,474 Oh, it's Murder City, buddy. 154 00:07:11,557 --> 00:07:13,058 Yeah, I guess so. 155 00:07:13,142 --> 00:07:14,477 Little late for a meeting, pal. 156 00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:17,062 I was being held captive. 157 00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:18,772 By the Sparrows. 158 00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:19,690 What? 159 00:07:20,274 --> 00:07:21,942 Wait. Did none of you notice? 160 00:07:23,194 --> 00:07:25,905 -We're happy you're home safe and sound. -Yeah. Oh my God. 161 00:07:25,988 --> 00:07:28,866 -[Allison] Stop lying. -Oh yeah. Okay. Nice. 162 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,118 -Did they hurt you? -Who? The Sparrows? 163 00:07:31,202 --> 00:07:33,621 God, no. Not at all. Excellent hosts. 164 00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:36,207 -Really quite charming, actually. -[Stan grunts] 165 00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:38,584 Oh, and you should see their gym. 166 00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:39,543 Outstanding! 167 00:07:39,627 --> 00:07:42,129 I really think we got these guys all wrong. 168 00:07:44,215 --> 00:07:45,758 Says the guy they kidnapped. 169 00:07:47,176 --> 00:07:48,302 [whistles] 170 00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:49,887 What did they want? 171 00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,263 Oh. Marcus. 172 00:07:52,014 --> 00:07:52,932 He's missing. 173 00:07:53,432 --> 00:07:56,352 -They want him back. Unharmed. -We don't have him. 174 00:07:56,435 --> 00:07:57,436 Well, 175 00:07:58,354 --> 00:07:59,313 damn. 176 00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:03,192 I was hoping we'd solve that one quickly and then move on to problem number two. 177 00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:04,777 Disappearing people. 178 00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:06,737 -[ominous music swells] -[grunts] 179 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:07,696 Ooh! 180 00:08:09,782 --> 00:08:12,368 -Uh, it was… it was the wind. -[Luther] Who's the kid? 181 00:08:15,246 --> 00:08:16,830 The hell are you doing in here? 182 00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:19,542 Shaving my nest, you little perv. 183 00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:21,126 Don't flatter yourself, Lila. 184 00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:24,255 I like my women a little less likely to kill me in my sleep. 185 00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:27,174 -We're learning so much about each other. -[Five] Mm. 186 00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:33,639 [Five grunts] 187 00:08:36,475 --> 00:08:38,352 [groans] 188 00:08:39,687 --> 00:08:41,522 [Lila panting] 189 00:08:43,607 --> 00:08:45,067 [Lila grunts] 190 00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:48,028 [Lila groans] 191 00:08:49,905 --> 00:08:51,490 [gasping for breath] 192 00:09:04,962 --> 00:09:06,755 [metal creaks] 193 00:09:06,839 --> 00:09:08,299 [strains] 194 00:09:21,020 --> 00:09:21,854 [groans] 195 00:09:22,813 --> 00:09:23,897 [grunts] 196 00:09:24,398 --> 00:09:26,692 All right, enough. [grunts] 197 00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:28,068 [panting] 198 00:09:28,152 --> 00:09:31,196 I'd forgotten how much I hate you, you puny little turd. 199 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,781 The feeling's mutual, Lila. 200 00:09:32,865 --> 00:09:35,284 As much as I'd love to stand here shivving each other, 201 00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:36,827 I have bigger concerns than you. 202 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,621 Yeah? Like what? 203 00:09:38,704 --> 00:09:40,956 What do you know about the grandfather paradox? 204 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:42,374 [panting] 205 00:09:42,458 --> 00:09:44,710 Well, I read the same training manuals as you did. 206 00:09:45,294 --> 00:09:47,087 -Why? -Because it's happening. 207 00:09:48,172 --> 00:09:50,299 -You being stupid? -Hand over your briefcase. 208 00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:53,844 I need to go to Herb and find out how he let things get so cocked up. 209 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:57,139 Over there with my knickers. Toss them to me, will you? 210 00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:05,481 [ominous music playing] 211 00:10:05,564 --> 00:10:06,482 Lila, 212 00:10:07,566 --> 00:10:10,110 why is it you have two briefcases? 213 00:10:10,194 --> 00:10:11,195 [Lila] Mmm. 214 00:10:11,904 --> 00:10:14,406 One's yours. Nicked it from the Sparrows. 215 00:10:14,907 --> 00:10:17,201 -Go on. Give it a go. -[briefcase latch clicks] 216 00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:22,373 [Lila] First, we try yours. 217 00:10:22,456 --> 00:10:25,000 [briefcase sputters, powers down] 218 00:10:28,754 --> 00:10:31,173 -[briefcase latch clicks] -[Lila] And then we try mine. 219 00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:33,676 -[briefcase sputters, powers down] -Yeah. 220 00:10:33,759 --> 00:10:35,219 This can't be happening. 221 00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:37,930 The odds of one of them failing, it's in the millions. 222 00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:40,724 -But two of them… -Astronomical. Yeah. 223 00:10:40,808 --> 00:10:43,686 So, what does that mean exactly? 224 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:45,771 End of the world? 225 00:10:45,854 --> 00:10:47,648 Oh, it's much worse than that. 226 00:10:48,774 --> 00:10:49,858 [strains] 227 00:10:49,942 --> 00:10:51,276 It means you and I 228 00:10:52,486 --> 00:10:54,071 are gonna have to work together. 229 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:55,989 Shit. 230 00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:58,951 [Diego] Discipline. That's what you need to learn. 231 00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:01,453 When I was your age, I was up at dawn, all right? 232 00:11:01,537 --> 00:11:03,831 I was training, honing my skills. 233 00:11:03,914 --> 00:11:05,124 The biggest thing, 234 00:11:06,375 --> 00:11:08,210 -I was becoming a real man. -Right. 235 00:11:08,293 --> 00:11:10,921 -Is that why you wear those tight pants? -[door opens] 236 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,339 -Lila? -[Lila] Hmm? 237 00:11:12,881 --> 00:11:14,591 You need to take this kid with you. 238 00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:17,136 -The hell were you doing in there? -Bathing. 239 00:11:17,219 --> 00:11:18,637 -Together? -Oh, okay. 240 00:11:18,721 --> 00:11:22,182 Diego, we don't have time for this. Lila and I have got important shit to do. 241 00:11:22,266 --> 00:11:24,852 -Wait. What's more important than family? -Hey, love. 242 00:11:24,935 --> 00:11:26,437 End of the world, genius. 243 00:11:27,980 --> 00:11:28,814 [Diego] Lila? 244 00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:31,900 What's more important than us? 245 00:11:31,984 --> 00:11:33,569 -There is no us, Diego. -[bell dings] 246 00:11:33,652 --> 00:11:35,028 [elevator door opens] 247 00:11:36,238 --> 00:11:37,239 [Diego] Come here. 248 00:11:39,783 --> 00:11:42,286 -What do you mean? -Look, for you, it's been a couple days. 249 00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:45,748 For me, it has been over a decade. I've moved on. 250 00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:48,959 I've slept with many, many people. Many. 251 00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:54,840 The only relationship we have left is the one with our child. 252 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:57,968 So you better not screw that up. 253 00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,429 Wait! What am I supposed to do with him, huh? 254 00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:02,556 I got important shit going on too! 255 00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:03,682 I doubt that. 256 00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:06,894 Figure it out, Diego. Be a dad. 257 00:12:09,438 --> 00:12:11,106 [elevator whirs] 258 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,734 How many is "many people"? 259 00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:16,111 Way more than you, Papi. 260 00:12:16,195 --> 00:12:17,821 -[Stan gasps] -[Diego snarls] 261 00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:23,368 So, all the people on the street just disappeared? 262 00:12:23,452 --> 00:12:26,121 Well, no, not all of them, just… half of them. 263 00:12:26,205 --> 00:12:28,081 Five did say animals were disappearing. 264 00:12:28,165 --> 00:12:30,250 Okay, well, now it's definitely people. 265 00:12:30,334 --> 00:12:33,545 Marcus was supposed to meet up with us earlier, but he never showed. 266 00:12:33,629 --> 00:12:35,923 What, you think this grandfather thing ate Marcus? 267 00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:39,384 -It can't just be a coincidence, right? -[sighs] Great. 268 00:12:39,468 --> 00:12:42,387 Now those Sparrow psychopaths think we took their Number One. 269 00:12:42,471 --> 00:12:44,014 We're never getting the briefcase back. 270 00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:47,142 Okay, what if… 271 00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:50,729 What if we just told the truth? 272 00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:55,067 Marcus is gone, and maybe we're partially responsible. 273 00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:56,902 That'll go well. They'll throw us a party. 274 00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:58,779 I bet they throw fantastic parties. 275 00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:02,324 Listen. Marcus was ready to give us back the briefcase. 276 00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:05,494 If the rest of his family are even half as open-minded, you know, 277 00:13:05,577 --> 00:13:08,664 maybe we can come to some kind of an agreement, get it back. 278 00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:10,040 Yeah, yeah. Okay. 279 00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:13,460 Well, if you guys are heading over there, I should probably come along. 280 00:13:13,544 --> 00:13:15,379 You know, uh, for protection. 281 00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:20,300 Yeah. 282 00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:22,886 Nice try, Stockholm. 283 00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,430 Your ass is staying here. 284 00:13:25,514 --> 00:13:26,473 Wha--? 285 00:13:27,516 --> 00:13:28,642 -She's right. -[Luther] What? 286 00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:30,894 Who put you two in charge? 287 00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:32,229 [quietly] Look, Allison… 288 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,566 She needs something to take her mind off Claire. 289 00:13:35,649 --> 00:13:37,317 So, we'll handle this. 290 00:13:37,818 --> 00:13:39,319 Yeah. Copy. 291 00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:40,988 Hey, um… 292 00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:43,240 Thanks for looking out for her. 293 00:13:50,581 --> 00:13:52,332 [ravens cawing] 294 00:13:56,837 --> 00:14:00,215 [chopping] 295 00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:07,806 We're getting tons of missing person complaints in a three-block radius. 296 00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:10,225 -I was thinking hysteria. -What are they up to? 297 00:14:10,309 --> 00:14:11,184 Who? 298 00:14:11,810 --> 00:14:13,312 The Umbrella Academy. 299 00:14:13,395 --> 00:14:15,397 Use your head, Number Two. 300 00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:19,818 First Marcus, now they're grabbing civilians off the streets? 301 00:14:19,902 --> 00:14:20,903 "Number Two"? 302 00:14:21,987 --> 00:14:23,780 I suppose that means you're Number One now? 303 00:14:23,864 --> 00:14:25,490 Marcus is missing. 304 00:14:26,450 --> 00:14:27,743 I'm taking the reins. 305 00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:29,202 [chuckles] 306 00:14:29,286 --> 00:14:30,537 [wings fluttering] 307 00:14:30,621 --> 00:14:33,123 What? You think it should be you? 308 00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:37,085 You had your chance once. 309 00:14:38,170 --> 00:14:40,213 Didn't turn out too well, now, did it? 310 00:14:41,423 --> 00:14:42,633 [Ben exhales sharply] 311 00:14:44,468 --> 00:14:45,928 [raven shrieks] 312 00:14:48,764 --> 00:14:49,932 Say that again. 313 00:14:50,599 --> 00:14:52,392 [wincing] 314 00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:54,645 [telekinetic whoosh] 315 00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:57,147 [ravens cawing] 316 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:05,238 Excuse me. Children, do you mind if I clean up? 317 00:15:05,322 --> 00:15:06,239 Do it quickly. 318 00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:10,494 [ravens cawing] 319 00:15:11,703 --> 00:15:13,830 -You know I respect Marcus. -Of course. 320 00:15:13,914 --> 00:15:15,374 -I'd do anything to protect him. -Sure. 321 00:15:15,457 --> 00:15:18,585 But we've been Numbers Two and Three for far too long, Fei. 322 00:15:18,669 --> 00:15:19,962 With Marcus gone, 323 00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:22,047 it's moving day. 324 00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:24,049 [exhales] 325 00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:25,384 Change can be good. 326 00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:26,426 [Ben] Think about it. 327 00:15:26,510 --> 00:15:29,304 You, me, center stage. 328 00:15:29,388 --> 00:15:31,181 Taking things to the next level. 329 00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,935 So how do we handle the Umbrella situation? 330 00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:38,188 If they bring Marcus back, so be it. 331 00:15:41,233 --> 00:15:42,359 If they don't, 332 00:15:43,902 --> 00:15:46,029 then we have some decisions to make. 333 00:15:46,905 --> 00:15:49,116 Marcus isn't coming back. God took him. 334 00:15:49,199 --> 00:15:50,283 God? 335 00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:55,163 Yes, God is in the basement, 336 00:15:55,664 --> 00:15:57,207 and he called Marcus home. 337 00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:04,256 -Does she need a checkup? -Focus, Fei. 338 00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:05,841 We play this right, 339 00:16:06,425 --> 00:16:09,636 Sparrow Academy is all ours. 340 00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:18,103 [sighs] 341 00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,108 [bell dings] 342 00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:29,197 Chet, hold my calls. 343 00:16:29,281 --> 00:16:30,741 -[Chet] No. -Good man. 344 00:16:32,784 --> 00:16:34,202 [bell ringing] 345 00:16:34,786 --> 00:16:35,996 Can I get a room? 346 00:16:37,414 --> 00:16:39,041 [Chet] Yes, sir, right with you. 347 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,335 [newscaster] We interrupt today's regularly scheduled program 348 00:16:42,419 --> 00:16:44,421 to bring you this late-breaking story. 349 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:45,839 Authorities are baffled 350 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:48,425 as hundreds of people across the city have vanished, 351 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:50,510 seemingly without a trace… 352 00:16:50,594 --> 00:16:52,846 Another silly conspiracy theory. 353 00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:57,642 …have increased by a staggering 500% in recent days. 354 00:16:57,726 --> 00:17:01,396 However, with no bodies found, no suspects, and no explanation, 355 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:03,774 police have been scrambling to… 356 00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:05,942 [ominous music swelling] 357 00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:10,155 [ravens cawing] 358 00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:19,081 You're one short. 359 00:17:20,457 --> 00:17:24,169 -Where's the rest of your pathetic family? -Aww. Is that the best you can do? 360 00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:25,420 Last warning. 361 00:17:25,504 --> 00:17:28,381 Yeah, you don't get to warn me about shit, Flock of She-Gulls. 362 00:17:28,465 --> 00:17:30,092 [laughs] 363 00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:32,260 [Ben clears throat] 364 00:17:32,844 --> 00:17:33,804 [Ben] Whatever. 365 00:17:34,846 --> 00:17:36,973 Where the fuck is Marcus? 366 00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:38,517 Marcus is, uh… 367 00:17:39,101 --> 00:17:40,393 [Viktor] Marcus, uh… 368 00:17:40,477 --> 00:17:41,436 Marcus is-- 369 00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:42,687 Safe. 370 00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:45,440 For now. 371 00:17:45,524 --> 00:17:48,360 But that'll change real quick if you don't do exactly as we say. 372 00:17:49,111 --> 00:17:51,321 See? I told you they have him. 373 00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,782 I warned Marcus, but no. 374 00:17:53,865 --> 00:17:56,284 He said we had to hear what you had to say. 375 00:17:56,368 --> 00:17:59,538 Look, he wasn't wrong, okay? We want to make things right with you-- 376 00:17:59,621 --> 00:18:01,039 By kidnapping our brother? 377 00:18:01,123 --> 00:18:02,207 -No, that's-- -Yes. 378 00:18:05,836 --> 00:18:08,213 Look, there is a lot more going on here. 379 00:18:08,296 --> 00:18:09,923 The world is in trouble, 380 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,467 and we need to work together. 381 00:18:12,551 --> 00:18:15,762 My brother could explain it all a lot better than me, 382 00:18:15,846 --> 00:18:18,849 but… it's a time-traveling problem. 383 00:18:19,558 --> 00:18:23,436 We caused a paradox, and that paradox is swallowing things. 384 00:18:24,062 --> 00:18:27,482 Lots of cows, and a dog, 385 00:18:27,566 --> 00:18:28,984 a few lobsters, 386 00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:31,820 but also people. 387 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:33,488 Look, I know it sounds like-- 388 00:18:33,572 --> 00:18:36,491 Just give us the briefcase, and we'll give you Marcus. 389 00:18:36,575 --> 00:18:37,409 What briefcase? 390 00:18:37,492 --> 00:18:39,286 The one we left in your house. 391 00:18:40,412 --> 00:18:41,329 Deal. 392 00:18:41,872 --> 00:18:43,915 The briefcase for our brother. 393 00:18:45,208 --> 00:18:46,042 Great. 394 00:18:48,003 --> 00:18:50,130 Hotel Obsidian, four o'clock sharp. 395 00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:52,966 [Allison] Or we'll send him back in pieces. 396 00:18:57,179 --> 00:19:00,265 [dramatic orchestral music playing] 397 00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:08,398 [steam hissing] 398 00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:09,816 Oh… Woof! 399 00:19:10,692 --> 00:19:12,444 Ooh, that takes me back. 400 00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:15,906 All right. 401 00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:38,845 Whoa, what the hell was that? 402 00:19:38,929 --> 00:19:41,348 What? You were losing them. I'm an actor, I improvised. 403 00:19:41,431 --> 00:19:44,184 Superb performance, Helen Mirren, but we don't have Marcus. 404 00:19:44,267 --> 00:19:45,393 Well, they don't know that. 405 00:19:45,477 --> 00:19:47,812 What are we gonna do when they show up and find out? 406 00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:50,649 I don't know. We'll figure that out next. But why don't you relax? 407 00:19:50,732 --> 00:19:53,193 We're powerful superheroes. It's time we started acting like it. 408 00:19:53,276 --> 00:19:55,737 Oh, like how you almost turned a conversation with Ben 409 00:19:55,820 --> 00:19:57,280 into a street fight? 410 00:19:57,364 --> 00:19:59,366 -Come on, it's not like you. -What does that mean? 411 00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:04,037 Since when do you have a hair trigger? You're usually the calm and cool one. 412 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:06,498 Yeah, and look how well that worked out for me. 413 00:20:06,581 --> 00:20:09,918 Viktor, we could go home tonight, okay? 414 00:20:10,001 --> 00:20:13,421 And for the first time in days, I feel hope, so please don't step on that. 415 00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:17,759 [sighs] Okay, but come on, we have to be smarter about this. 416 00:20:17,842 --> 00:20:19,678 We don't know enough about the Sparrows. 417 00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:22,555 I don't give a shit about them. I've got you. 418 00:20:22,639 --> 00:20:25,350 No one's gonna win a fight against me and my tiny badass brother. 419 00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:30,855 [sighs] Okay. Well, I need the briefcase too. 420 00:20:31,982 --> 00:20:33,817 It's my only way back to Sissy. 421 00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:35,819 But no more improvising, okay? 422 00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:36,945 [sighs] 423 00:20:37,028 --> 00:20:39,614 We do things together from now on, got it? 424 00:20:41,950 --> 00:20:43,076 Got it. 425 00:20:47,205 --> 00:20:49,791 [car horns honking] 426 00:20:58,008 --> 00:21:00,385 -What are you doing? -What are you doing? 427 00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:04,556 Security assessment. Our enemies can attack us from anywhere. 428 00:21:05,223 --> 00:21:06,266 [chuckles] That's cool. 429 00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,018 No, that is not cool. 430 00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:09,853 But lucky for everyone, I'm on it. 431 00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:11,479 The trick is to be prepared. 432 00:21:11,563 --> 00:21:14,774 Now, I need you to stay away from the hotel for a few hours, all right? 433 00:21:14,858 --> 00:21:17,277 It's not safe. Go buy some donuts. 434 00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:18,737 I'm allergic to donuts. 435 00:21:18,820 --> 00:21:21,323 What do you mean, you're allergic to donuts? 436 00:21:21,406 --> 00:21:22,407 You also hate fun? 437 00:21:22,490 --> 00:21:24,659 -It's the gluten, asshat. -Hey, watch your mouth. 438 00:21:24,743 --> 00:21:27,537 Stop trying to get rid of me. Everyone tries to do that. 439 00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:29,122 Maybe just try being less annoying. 440 00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:31,416 [laughs] Oh my God. You're bad at this. 441 00:21:31,499 --> 00:21:34,377 Just go somewhere for a few hours, all right? 442 00:21:34,461 --> 00:21:35,962 It's a big city. Have fun. 443 00:21:36,046 --> 00:21:39,174 Mom would never let me walk around a strange city all on my own. 444 00:21:39,257 --> 00:21:40,133 She doesn't trust me. 445 00:21:40,216 --> 00:21:42,302 That's because she's a terrible person. 446 00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:43,970 And I'm amazing. 447 00:21:44,054 --> 00:21:45,013 Remember that. 448 00:21:45,972 --> 00:21:46,931 It's eight dollars. 449 00:21:47,015 --> 00:21:49,934 That's a month's salary for a kid. Get outta here. 450 00:21:54,814 --> 00:21:56,316 I'm so good at this. 451 00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:01,738 [Klaus straining] 452 00:22:04,324 --> 00:22:05,492 [grunts] 453 00:22:08,328 --> 00:22:09,287 [groans] 454 00:22:10,747 --> 00:22:11,831 [grunts] 455 00:22:18,171 --> 00:22:19,089 [sneezes] 456 00:22:19,589 --> 00:22:21,841 [groans] 457 00:22:24,511 --> 00:22:25,970 Oh, thank God. 458 00:22:31,226 --> 00:22:32,227 [sniffs] 459 00:22:34,104 --> 00:22:35,355 [gasps] Have at you! 460 00:22:35,438 --> 00:22:37,941 [police sirens wailing on television] 461 00:22:42,529 --> 00:22:44,155 -Did you do it? -How did you get in here? 462 00:22:44,239 --> 00:22:46,324 Did you kill our moms? 463 00:22:46,908 --> 00:22:49,702 Moms? What in the world are you talking about? 464 00:22:50,620 --> 00:22:51,704 Please just… 465 00:22:53,248 --> 00:22:57,043 Please just tell me whether or not you killed them, and then I'll leave. 466 00:22:57,127 --> 00:22:58,169 I promise. 467 00:22:59,462 --> 00:23:01,798 I don't care enough about you to lie. 468 00:23:02,715 --> 00:23:04,676 Do I look fit to murder anyone? 469 00:23:06,261 --> 00:23:09,889 Well, maybe not now, but… 470 00:23:09,973 --> 00:23:11,433 On your feet, boy. 471 00:23:12,934 --> 00:23:15,979 -You're the drunk one, aren't you? -No, no. I'm Klaus. 472 00:23:16,062 --> 00:23:18,314 I'm the… spiritual one. 473 00:23:19,023 --> 00:23:20,191 [knock at door] 474 00:23:21,985 --> 00:23:24,154 [Jayme] All right, Reg, you know the drill. 475 00:23:24,237 --> 00:23:25,905 Pills, bills, and num-nums. 476 00:23:25,989 --> 00:23:27,198 I'm not hungry. 477 00:23:27,282 --> 00:23:30,785 Come on. I'm really not in the mood for your bullshit today. 478 00:23:39,461 --> 00:23:41,421 -[gulps] -[Alphonso] Get a move on. 479 00:23:42,130 --> 00:23:43,173 [Reginald gulps] 480 00:23:43,256 --> 00:23:44,132 Sit. 481 00:23:49,179 --> 00:23:50,138 Now… 482 00:23:51,139 --> 00:23:53,183 -What is this? -Doesn't concern you, old man. 483 00:23:53,266 --> 00:23:54,601 We say sign, you sign. 484 00:23:58,938 --> 00:24:00,732 Don't make me get Christopher. 485 00:24:09,073 --> 00:24:11,326 [pen scratching] 486 00:24:12,535 --> 00:24:13,828 You're a champ, Reg. 487 00:24:19,375 --> 00:24:20,877 [sniffs] 488 00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,755 Woo! Jesus, Reggie. You stink. 489 00:24:25,757 --> 00:24:26,925 [sniffs] 490 00:24:29,135 --> 00:24:32,263 [suspenseful music builds] 491 00:24:32,347 --> 00:24:35,099 Hurry up, douchebag. I'm starving. 492 00:24:35,183 --> 00:24:37,268 I'm telling the robot to give you a bath. 493 00:24:41,606 --> 00:24:42,941 [sighs] 494 00:24:43,024 --> 00:24:43,942 [door opens] 495 00:24:44,859 --> 00:24:45,902 [door closes] 496 00:24:51,574 --> 00:24:53,826 My God, Dad. 497 00:24:56,162 --> 00:24:57,497 What happened to you? 498 00:25:03,211 --> 00:25:05,463 [energy pulsing faintly] 499 00:25:06,756 --> 00:25:09,842 If they left a briefcase behind, Grace will know where it is. 500 00:25:10,927 --> 00:25:14,264 You don't think it's weird that they "forgot" something here? 501 00:25:14,347 --> 00:25:17,600 What if it's a trap? What if we open it and it explodes? 502 00:25:17,684 --> 00:25:19,727 Please. They aren't that smart. 503 00:25:19,811 --> 00:25:21,813 [pulsing intensifies] 504 00:25:22,397 --> 00:25:24,857 [Ben] Grace? What the hell's going on down here? 505 00:25:27,318 --> 00:25:28,403 [raven caws] 506 00:25:29,237 --> 00:25:30,363 Sweet Jesus. 507 00:25:34,033 --> 00:25:37,537 [Grace] Jesus is one possible interpretation of this deity. 508 00:25:37,620 --> 00:25:40,957 Or perhaps it's the reincarnation of Buddha or Brahma the Creator. 509 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:42,584 Yeah, yeah, whatever. 510 00:25:44,669 --> 00:25:46,379 Be careful, Number Two. 511 00:25:46,462 --> 00:25:49,424 You don't want to disturb his slumber. 512 00:25:49,507 --> 00:25:52,176 Who knows who the waking god will choose next. 513 00:25:54,220 --> 00:25:56,139 Grace, is this what took Marcus? 514 00:25:56,222 --> 00:25:58,433 He went right up and touched it. 515 00:25:59,017 --> 00:26:00,351 Brazen man. 516 00:26:00,852 --> 00:26:03,813 The light of the Lord is too much for mere mortals. 517 00:26:03,896 --> 00:26:06,065 Grace, when did God get here? 518 00:26:06,149 --> 00:26:08,610 Two days ago, with our new visitors. 519 00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:12,322 [energy thrumming loudly] 520 00:26:25,168 --> 00:26:26,419 [electricity crackles] 521 00:26:26,502 --> 00:26:27,587 Nice suit. 522 00:26:28,379 --> 00:26:31,633 Thanks. Tailor in the lobby is a master craftsman. 523 00:26:31,716 --> 00:26:33,718 Still, I will miss those pasty knees. 524 00:26:34,385 --> 00:26:37,597 Yeah, well, we could all stand to be showing a little less skin these days. 525 00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:39,390 [murmurs] For you. 526 00:26:40,767 --> 00:26:41,643 Yeah. 527 00:26:46,230 --> 00:26:48,232 Ready to hot-wire this briefcase? 528 00:26:49,901 --> 00:26:51,027 [exhales] Let's do this. 529 00:26:51,110 --> 00:26:52,236 Ah shit! 530 00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:53,237 [bell dings] 531 00:26:54,238 --> 00:26:55,948 -[electricity fluctuates] -[gasps] 532 00:26:56,032 --> 00:26:57,450 -[wails in pain] -[laughs] 533 00:26:57,533 --> 00:26:59,035 Shit! Lila! 534 00:26:59,994 --> 00:27:01,371 [groans] 535 00:27:01,454 --> 00:27:03,998 [Lila continues laughing] 536 00:27:04,082 --> 00:27:05,249 [Five] Shit! 537 00:27:08,503 --> 00:27:10,922 Yeah, I was 99% sure that wouldn't work. 538 00:27:11,547 --> 00:27:13,049 Well, I'm glad my pain amuses you. 539 00:27:13,132 --> 00:27:15,468 You have no idea. It's like my therapy. 540 00:27:15,551 --> 00:27:18,805 Well, now we are down to one half-dead briefcase, 541 00:27:18,888 --> 00:27:21,391 and my jumps are only accurate up to a couple minutes. 542 00:27:21,474 --> 00:27:24,102 So, essentially, we're screwed. 543 00:27:24,185 --> 00:27:25,186 Maybe. 544 00:27:25,687 --> 00:27:26,688 Maybe not. 545 00:27:28,606 --> 00:27:29,816 Oh, I hate that smile. 546 00:27:29,899 --> 00:27:32,902 Listen, on your own, your little jumps are rather pathetic. 547 00:27:32,985 --> 00:27:35,279 -[scoffs] -But if we powered up together, 548 00:27:35,363 --> 00:27:37,907 you blinking, me mimicking that blink, 549 00:27:37,990 --> 00:27:40,118 I think we could create some kind of feedback loop 550 00:27:40,201 --> 00:27:42,203 and get enough juice to jump-start the case. 551 00:27:42,286 --> 00:27:44,872 -Both of us together. -We'd have to trust each other. 552 00:27:44,956 --> 00:27:47,125 [scoffs] Lila, you just spent the better part 553 00:27:47,208 --> 00:27:48,876 of the last ten days trying to end my life. 554 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:51,504 -You killed my birth parents. -Fair enough. 555 00:27:54,340 --> 00:27:55,842 And your entire family stood by 556 00:27:55,925 --> 00:27:58,803 while that greasy Swede put a cap in the woman who raised me. 557 00:27:58,886 --> 00:28:01,639 The Handler was going to kill you, Lila. 558 00:28:01,723 --> 00:28:03,975 In fact, she did kill you. 559 00:28:04,058 --> 00:28:08,229 Then I rolled back time and let the meatball do his work. 560 00:28:08,980 --> 00:28:10,481 Oh, and by the way, 561 00:28:10,565 --> 00:28:13,568 if you're leading Diego on as payback for what happened in Texas, 562 00:28:13,651 --> 00:28:15,611 you're pissing up the wrong ladder there 563 00:28:15,695 --> 00:28:18,156 'cause that idiot may actually love you. 564 00:28:18,740 --> 00:28:20,116 The Handler never did. 565 00:28:22,702 --> 00:28:25,580 What do you know? You spent decades shagging a mannequin. 566 00:28:25,663 --> 00:28:28,040 Do not talk about Delores like that, Lila. 567 00:28:28,124 --> 00:28:29,250 This is insane. 568 00:28:29,333 --> 00:28:32,044 There is no way we're gonna get past this to make it to the Commission. 569 00:28:32,128 --> 00:28:34,714 Okay, perhaps we can't get to trust, 570 00:28:34,797 --> 00:28:37,800 but there is a certain honesty in white-hot hatred. 571 00:28:40,470 --> 00:28:43,890 Then come over here, you god-awful little shit. 572 00:28:44,932 --> 00:28:45,933 And hold my hand. 573 00:28:50,229 --> 00:28:52,690 ["The Lady in Red" by Chris de Burgh playing] 574 00:28:52,774 --> 00:28:55,026 [Luther sings along] ♪ Or the highlights in your hair ♪ 575 00:28:55,109 --> 00:28:56,694 ♪ That catch your eyes ♪ 576 00:28:58,279 --> 00:29:00,281 ♪ I have been blind ♪ 577 00:29:00,990 --> 00:29:03,993 ♪ The lady in red ♪ 578 00:29:04,076 --> 00:29:05,703 [Luther holds note] 579 00:29:06,662 --> 00:29:09,540 ♪ Is dancing with me ♪ 580 00:29:11,125 --> 00:29:12,418 ♪ Cheek to cheek ♪ 581 00:29:12,502 --> 00:29:14,754 [song plays faintly] 582 00:29:17,006 --> 00:29:18,758 -What's with the bottles? -Molotov cocktails. 583 00:29:18,841 --> 00:29:20,510 -What's with the music? -None of your biz. 584 00:29:20,593 --> 00:29:22,345 [Diego] Phil Collins. Neil Diamond. 585 00:29:23,471 --> 00:29:25,223 Are you making a mixtape? 586 00:29:26,641 --> 00:29:30,603 -Shouldn't you be watching your kid? -Dude, I got that parenting thing down. 587 00:29:30,686 --> 00:29:34,065 The trick is, you give 'em a little trust, and everything falls into place. 588 00:29:34,148 --> 00:29:36,776 Now, I've been working on our defense. 589 00:29:36,859 --> 00:29:40,112 Now, let's talk offense, all right? What's our Sparrow plan of attack? 590 00:29:40,196 --> 00:29:43,074 -I got the rest of the afternoon. -Relax. Vanya and Allison handled it. 591 00:29:43,658 --> 00:29:44,492 It's Viktor. 592 00:29:45,785 --> 00:29:47,453 -What? -Vanya's Viktor now. 593 00:29:50,122 --> 00:29:51,749 What else did I miss while I was kidnapped? 594 00:29:51,833 --> 00:29:54,836 Jesus, Luther. Not everything is about you, all right? So? 595 00:29:54,919 --> 00:29:57,672 [sighs] The Sparrows are coming here, all right? 596 00:29:57,755 --> 00:30:00,007 For what? Tea? 597 00:30:00,091 --> 00:30:02,552 No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No! 598 00:30:02,635 --> 00:30:03,803 No! 599 00:30:04,387 --> 00:30:07,223 It's time for you and me to show 'em who's boss. 600 00:30:07,306 --> 00:30:11,018 Like the old days, huh? You know, bustin' heads? 601 00:30:11,102 --> 00:30:13,813 Oh, Jesus, Luther. Lionel Rich-- Are you kidding me? 602 00:30:13,896 --> 00:30:14,772 What? 603 00:30:15,565 --> 00:30:16,858 Lionel Richie's still cool. 604 00:30:17,567 --> 00:30:18,442 No. 605 00:30:18,526 --> 00:30:22,029 Look, I met someone, okay? 606 00:30:22,113 --> 00:30:24,782 And I thought, you know, maybe she'd like some curated songs 607 00:30:24,866 --> 00:30:27,535 that just so happen to express what's in my heart. 608 00:30:29,704 --> 00:30:32,039 When did you have time to meet someone? 609 00:30:32,123 --> 00:30:34,625 I mean, we've been here for two days, and the only time you-- 610 00:30:37,587 --> 00:30:39,422 -This is a mixtape for the enemy? -Hey. 611 00:30:39,505 --> 00:30:41,757 Sloane is not the enemy. 612 00:30:42,508 --> 00:30:46,053 They are not the enemy. This is all one big misunderstanding. 613 00:30:46,137 --> 00:30:49,348 And if our family could just behave ourselves for once, 614 00:30:49,432 --> 00:30:51,058 then we could all work together. 615 00:30:51,142 --> 00:30:53,519 And then Sloane and I can fall in love, 616 00:30:53,603 --> 00:30:54,645 get married, 617 00:30:55,438 --> 00:30:56,480 buy a dog, 618 00:30:57,273 --> 00:30:58,399 grow old on a porch. 619 00:30:58,482 --> 00:30:59,650 Ugh. 620 00:30:59,734 --> 00:31:00,776 Jesus, Luther. 621 00:31:00,860 --> 00:31:01,944 You're pathetic. 622 00:31:03,821 --> 00:31:07,491 Is… Is Sloane the gravity one? 623 00:31:09,201 --> 00:31:10,703 Oh shit. 624 00:31:11,370 --> 00:31:13,289 -You guys had gravity sex. -[snickers] 625 00:31:14,165 --> 00:31:17,335 [chuckles] Come on. You know I can't talk about that. 626 00:31:17,418 --> 00:31:20,254 Luther, I'm your brother. We got no secrets. 627 00:31:24,091 --> 00:31:25,259 Okay, well, uh, 628 00:31:26,886 --> 00:31:28,512 you might say, we were, uh, 629 00:31:29,221 --> 00:31:31,182 "Dancing On the Ceiling." 630 00:31:32,683 --> 00:31:34,477 Oh! That one's going in! 631 00:31:40,149 --> 00:31:43,235 [tape deck rewinding] 632 00:31:49,450 --> 00:31:50,868 Oh my God, that's genius. 633 00:31:50,952 --> 00:31:53,371 The hell are you doing? I told you not to be here. 634 00:31:53,454 --> 00:31:55,039 What's a Molotov cocktail? 635 00:31:55,873 --> 00:31:56,749 Is it a drink? 636 00:31:56,832 --> 00:31:58,292 -No. -Can I try one? 637 00:31:58,918 --> 00:31:59,752 No. 638 00:31:59,835 --> 00:32:01,420 I've had beer, you know. 639 00:32:01,504 --> 00:32:03,172 It's a homemade bomb, okay? 640 00:32:03,255 --> 00:32:05,633 Sweet. I can help. 641 00:32:05,716 --> 00:32:07,760 Ever made a pipe bomb? 'Cause I have. 642 00:32:07,843 --> 00:32:10,054 I've blown up tons of mailboxes. 643 00:32:10,137 --> 00:32:12,139 -There are secrets in the mix. -Mm-hmm? 644 00:32:12,223 --> 00:32:14,225 So what's my job here, and how much you paying? 645 00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:17,645 [bell dings] 646 00:32:17,728 --> 00:32:22,274 Your job is to study the inside of this elevator, okay? 647 00:32:22,358 --> 00:32:25,486 -All right. -Until I get back. 648 00:32:26,153 --> 00:32:28,197 Wait. Hey, come back. 649 00:32:28,698 --> 00:32:32,493 Reports of missing persons keep climbing with no sign of slowing down. 650 00:32:32,576 --> 00:32:34,412 There has yet to be a body found, 651 00:32:34,495 --> 00:32:36,622 and there are still no suspects at this time. 652 00:32:36,706 --> 00:32:40,001 As we reported earlier, police have been scrambling to make se-- 653 00:32:42,503 --> 00:32:43,754 [chuckles] 654 00:32:43,838 --> 00:32:45,131 I love this movie. 655 00:32:46,257 --> 00:32:48,259 Never turn your back, my boy. 656 00:32:48,342 --> 00:32:50,302 Especially not to your children. 657 00:32:51,929 --> 00:32:56,142 You try your best, give them your all, but it's too much. 658 00:32:56,934 --> 00:33:00,229 Then it's pills in the porridge and something extra in the tea. 659 00:33:00,312 --> 00:33:02,773 Next thing you know, you've signed your life away. 660 00:33:03,816 --> 00:33:05,860 All your dreams have been quashed. 661 00:33:05,943 --> 00:33:09,071 All your plans run aground, and the worst of it? 662 00:33:10,906 --> 00:33:13,075 No one ever comes to visit anymore. 663 00:33:13,909 --> 00:33:15,953 But you wouldn't understand that. 664 00:33:17,621 --> 00:33:19,081 [soft chuckle] 665 00:33:19,165 --> 00:33:20,624 Oh, Reggie. 666 00:33:21,709 --> 00:33:23,335 You got no idea. 667 00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:26,672 You ever been to a Baskin-Robbins? 668 00:33:26,756 --> 00:33:28,299 Can't say that I have. 669 00:33:28,382 --> 00:33:30,885 They're like… You know the ones. 670 00:33:30,968 --> 00:33:33,304 They're like half a Dunkin' Donuts, 671 00:33:33,387 --> 00:33:35,473 and they're open all night, and it's 3:00 a.m., 672 00:33:35,556 --> 00:33:40,269 and nobody's switching out those giant empty barrels of fudge ripple. 673 00:33:40,352 --> 00:33:41,353 That's me. 674 00:33:41,437 --> 00:33:45,608 I feel like scoop after scoop after scoop's been taken out of me. 675 00:33:45,691 --> 00:33:47,234 Brother… [makes croaking noise] 676 00:33:47,318 --> 00:33:48,694 [Klaus inhales deeply] 677 00:33:48,778 --> 00:33:49,862 Lover, 678 00:33:49,945 --> 00:33:51,113 a whole world, 679 00:33:51,197 --> 00:33:52,198 and now… 680 00:33:53,699 --> 00:33:54,867 my mom. 681 00:33:54,950 --> 00:33:57,244 I have no idea what you're talking about. 682 00:33:58,913 --> 00:34:02,166 I feel like if I could just find the person who did it… 683 00:34:03,334 --> 00:34:04,877 Do you want some ice cream? 684 00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:06,587 Would that shut you up? 685 00:34:07,755 --> 00:34:10,091 -Yeah. Yeah, I do. -[Reginald chuckles] 686 00:34:18,182 --> 00:34:19,225 [Reginald gasps] 687 00:34:19,934 --> 00:34:22,603 -Damn pills. -I can help you with that. 688 00:34:22,686 --> 00:34:23,813 The ice cream? 689 00:34:23,896 --> 00:34:27,608 No, the pills. If you don't wanna take 'em. 690 00:34:27,691 --> 00:34:29,693 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 691 00:34:29,777 --> 00:34:32,279 That's against the rules. I have to take them every day. 692 00:34:32,822 --> 00:34:37,618 All you have to do is just pop to the side such as this. 693 00:34:39,495 --> 00:34:41,122 [murmurs] Ta-da! 694 00:34:41,205 --> 00:34:43,833 Old necessary rehab trick. 695 00:34:44,542 --> 00:34:46,335 I didn't care for you when last we met, 696 00:34:46,919 --> 00:34:48,838 but I must admit you're growing on me. 697 00:34:48,921 --> 00:34:50,840 [Reginald chuckles, strains] 698 00:34:52,341 --> 00:34:54,927 [emotional string music playing] 699 00:34:55,636 --> 00:34:59,807 [recording of throat singing plays] 700 00:35:16,282 --> 00:35:17,533 [recording stops] 701 00:35:18,701 --> 00:35:21,370 [distant police sirens wailing] 702 00:35:21,453 --> 00:35:22,997 [distant car horns honking] 703 00:35:35,176 --> 00:35:37,803 [echoing stomach sounds] 704 00:35:37,887 --> 00:35:39,513 [stomach gurgles] 705 00:35:41,307 --> 00:35:44,518 [stomach croaks, gurgles] 706 00:35:51,817 --> 00:35:54,820 [stomach sounds continue] 707 00:36:01,535 --> 00:36:03,329 -Hey. -Yeah? 708 00:36:04,121 --> 00:36:06,498 This whole, uh, Viktor thing. 709 00:36:07,499 --> 00:36:10,085 -Yeah? -Well, it's a pretty big deal, right? 710 00:36:10,586 --> 00:36:12,254 I guess, for him. It's whatever. 711 00:36:12,338 --> 00:36:13,839 Well, should we say something? 712 00:36:13,923 --> 00:36:17,176 You know? I mean, make a formal gesture? Welcome him as brothers. 713 00:36:17,259 --> 00:36:21,096 God, no. Just roll with it, man. Don't say anything, and don't be weird. 714 00:36:21,180 --> 00:36:24,266 Okay. But not saying something feels weird, right? I mean… 715 00:36:24,850 --> 00:36:28,437 Shouldn't we, I don't know… mark the occasion somehow? 716 00:36:28,938 --> 00:36:30,481 You just wanna throw a party. 717 00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:33,359 Why do you hate tiny sandwiches? 718 00:36:35,110 --> 00:36:36,111 Hey, what's up? 719 00:36:36,987 --> 00:36:39,865 Luther wants to throw you a big, stupid party so you feel loved. 720 00:36:41,450 --> 00:36:42,868 [chuckles] 721 00:36:42,952 --> 00:36:44,036 Oh. 722 00:36:44,119 --> 00:36:45,454 Do you feel loved? 723 00:36:46,956 --> 00:36:48,332 Yeah, I… I do. 724 00:36:48,415 --> 00:36:49,959 Good. You are. 725 00:36:50,918 --> 00:36:52,920 Can we all get back to saving the world now? 726 00:36:57,049 --> 00:36:58,050 I, uh… 727 00:37:01,720 --> 00:37:02,930 I really like the hair. 728 00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:06,100 Is that a number ten? 729 00:37:06,892 --> 00:37:08,310 Yeah, that's a good choice. 730 00:37:08,852 --> 00:37:11,105 Really… frames your face. 731 00:37:13,357 --> 00:37:14,191 Thanks. 732 00:37:15,401 --> 00:37:16,527 I'll see you later. 733 00:37:24,493 --> 00:37:28,247 I'm gonna be on you like white on rice. Sneeze, I'll be there with a handkerchief. 734 00:37:28,330 --> 00:37:30,291 If your nose isn't clean, I'll wipe it in the dirt. 735 00:37:30,374 --> 00:37:32,042 -Another thing. -[Reginald snores softly] 736 00:37:32,126 --> 00:37:36,088 Either you take care of Paco, or you stay the hell away from him. 737 00:37:36,171 --> 00:37:37,423 You got me? 738 00:37:37,506 --> 00:37:38,757 [chuckles] Oh! 739 00:37:38,841 --> 00:37:40,592 William Shatner. Amazing. 740 00:37:43,178 --> 00:37:48,058 [groans] Oblivion. 741 00:37:50,185 --> 00:37:51,395 [Klaus] Oblivion? 742 00:37:51,478 --> 00:37:52,438 Hmm. 743 00:38:03,157 --> 00:38:06,493 [quietly] See? You're not so terrible when you're asleep. 744 00:38:12,082 --> 00:38:18,422 [Grace singing in background] 745 00:38:19,256 --> 00:38:23,510 [singing continues] 746 00:38:25,804 --> 00:38:31,685 [Grace vocalizes] ♪ Glo… ♪ 747 00:38:31,769 --> 00:38:33,729 [energy thrumming] 748 00:38:33,812 --> 00:38:35,356 -[Grace] ♪ …oria ♪ -[Klaus gasps] 749 00:38:35,439 --> 00:38:37,399 Oh, wow! 750 00:38:50,371 --> 00:38:51,288 The Lord. 751 00:38:51,372 --> 00:38:53,040 The Lord is upon me. 752 00:38:53,665 --> 00:38:58,462 [Grace speaking in tongues] 753 00:38:59,338 --> 00:39:01,340 [continues to speak in tongues] 754 00:39:16,772 --> 00:39:17,773 [device whirs] 755 00:39:17,856 --> 00:39:19,274 Okay, relax. 756 00:39:19,358 --> 00:39:20,984 I can't. Your breath is terrible. 757 00:39:21,068 --> 00:39:23,028 Garlic is for winners. Enough foreplay! 758 00:39:25,072 --> 00:39:26,281 This is so stupid. 759 00:39:26,949 --> 00:39:28,283 Power up, shithead. 760 00:39:30,869 --> 00:39:32,621 -[both straining] -[energy pulsing] 761 00:39:32,704 --> 00:39:33,580 That's it. 762 00:39:36,291 --> 00:39:37,459 Let me in! 763 00:39:37,543 --> 00:39:39,128 I can't! It's too much! 764 00:39:39,753 --> 00:39:42,256 -Don't bitch out on me now! -[Five yelps] 765 00:39:42,339 --> 00:39:43,924 I hate you so much! 766 00:39:45,300 --> 00:39:48,887 Then get this right, or it's you and me in the Stone Age forever! 767 00:39:49,471 --> 00:39:52,015 [both straining] 768 00:39:52,099 --> 00:39:54,977 [yelling] Now! Do it now! 769 00:39:55,519 --> 00:39:58,772 -[both screaming] -[zapping] 770 00:40:00,607 --> 00:40:02,276 [wind howling] 771 00:40:05,487 --> 00:40:09,199 Oh, brilliant idea, Lila. Welcome to the Ice Age. 772 00:40:12,494 --> 00:40:13,954 Shut up and just look. 773 00:40:15,330 --> 00:40:16,707 [Five] The Commission. 774 00:40:17,291 --> 00:40:19,710 [laughs] 775 00:40:19,793 --> 00:40:20,919 [Five] Shit. 776 00:40:22,754 --> 00:40:24,756 [indistinct chatter] 777 00:40:25,799 --> 00:40:28,635 [Luther] I don't get it. Did I miss it? How did you win again? 778 00:40:31,513 --> 00:40:36,727 Oh, look at those two jabronis getting along, being all sibly. 779 00:40:36,810 --> 00:40:37,811 So? 780 00:40:37,895 --> 00:40:39,730 So that never goes well for us. 781 00:40:44,026 --> 00:40:44,902 Hey. 782 00:40:47,154 --> 00:40:49,531 So, what's the plan? 783 00:40:49,615 --> 00:40:51,950 -What do we do when the Sparrows get here? -Follow our lead. 784 00:40:52,034 --> 00:40:54,161 Uh-uh. Nice try. We don't take orders from you. 785 00:40:54,244 --> 00:40:55,579 -Uh-uh. -[Diego] Mm-mm. 786 00:40:56,914 --> 00:40:58,415 Oh shit. They're early. 787 00:41:01,376 --> 00:41:04,880 [intense instrumental music playing] 788 00:41:42,626 --> 00:41:44,253 [light jazz music playing in background] 789 00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:48,048 Well, thanks for coming. 790 00:41:48,131 --> 00:41:50,467 Oh, yeah, super glad to be here. 791 00:41:50,551 --> 00:41:53,095 -Where are the rest of you? -[Diego] Are you taking attendance? 792 00:41:53,178 --> 00:41:54,346 They'll be here. 793 00:41:54,429 --> 00:41:55,430 Where's the briefcase? 794 00:41:55,514 --> 00:41:56,557 Where's our brother? 795 00:41:58,183 --> 00:42:01,520 Maybe we should try this again before I lose my temper. 796 00:42:01,603 --> 00:42:02,729 -Allison-- -I got this. 797 00:42:02,813 --> 00:42:04,523 -[whispers] Run. -"Bun"? 798 00:42:04,606 --> 00:42:06,858 Hand over the briefcase or no deal. 799 00:42:06,942 --> 00:42:08,819 Yeah, tiny problem. 800 00:42:10,070 --> 00:42:10,904 Deal's off. 801 00:42:10,988 --> 00:42:12,072 [whispers] Run. 802 00:42:12,155 --> 00:42:13,073 Oh, "run"! 803 00:42:13,156 --> 00:42:16,034 Molotov this, bitches! 804 00:42:16,118 --> 00:42:17,661 Stanley! Not now. 805 00:42:20,122 --> 00:42:22,124 -[smoke alarm blaring] -Oh shit. 806 00:42:22,207 --> 00:42:24,835 [hotel guests clamoring and chattering] 807 00:42:24,918 --> 00:42:25,794 [bell dings] 808 00:42:29,548 --> 00:42:30,841 Power up. 809 00:42:32,217 --> 00:42:33,218 [grunts] 810 00:42:35,596 --> 00:42:36,763 [joints crack] 811 00:42:40,058 --> 00:42:41,852 [hotel guests screaming] 812 00:42:41,935 --> 00:42:43,186 [woman] Fire! Fire! 813 00:42:43,270 --> 00:42:44,313 Go! 814 00:42:44,896 --> 00:42:46,898 -Now, Chris. -[piercing feedback whining] 815 00:42:46,982 --> 00:42:48,859 [Umbrellas wailing in pain] 816 00:42:48,942 --> 00:42:50,152 [Luther] What the hell? 817 00:42:55,574 --> 00:42:58,827 [voice echoes] I heard… I heard a rumor… [groans] 818 00:42:58,910 --> 00:43:00,412 That you're about to die? 819 00:43:00,495 --> 00:43:01,330 [Luther groans] 820 00:43:05,042 --> 00:43:06,126 Kill 'em. 821 00:43:07,210 --> 00:43:11,006 [Viktor groans] 822 00:43:11,089 --> 00:43:13,634 [echoing yell] 823 00:43:37,282 --> 00:43:38,867 [screams] 824 00:43:45,832 --> 00:43:47,334 Jayme! 825 00:43:47,918 --> 00:43:49,002 [Fei] Alphonso! 826 00:43:49,836 --> 00:43:50,671 Pull back! 827 00:43:52,047 --> 00:43:53,715 [Christopher speaks faintly] 828 00:43:55,175 --> 00:43:57,260 Sloane. Sloane, are you okay? 829 00:43:57,344 --> 00:43:59,513 [Christopher speaks faintly] 830 00:44:06,770 --> 00:44:07,729 Whoa. 831 00:44:10,315 --> 00:44:12,401 [emotional string music playing] 832 00:44:12,484 --> 00:44:15,696 [panting] 833 00:44:23,036 --> 00:44:24,037 Oh my God. 834 00:44:27,749 --> 00:44:28,667 Harlan? 835 00:44:30,919 --> 00:44:31,962 Is that you? 836 00:44:36,508 --> 00:44:40,429 [rock violin music playing]