announcer: LAST SEASON ON ROYAL PAINS...
- HOW ABOUT TODAY WE SAVE TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE?
- YOU LET A BILLIONAIRE HOSPITAL TRUSTEE DIE
TO SAVE SOME KID OFF THE STREET.
- I MADE A JUDGMENT CALL. - YOU MADE A MISTAKE.
- THIS TRIP IS GONNA GET YOU BACK ON YOUR FEET.
- WHAT TRIP? - TO THE HAMPTONS.
- BORIS KUESTER VON JURGENS-RATENICZ.
STAY IN MY GUEST COTTAGE. FOR THE SUMMER.
BE MY CONCIERGE DOCTOR.
- CONCIERGE DOCTOR TO THE RICH,
AND AN ON-CALL DOCTOR TO THE REST OF US.
A ROBIN HOOD OF MEDICINE.
JILL CASEY, HOSPITAL ADMINISTRATOR.
- SO THAT HAPPENED.
- YOU AND I HAVE BEEN DOWN THIS ROAD BEFORE, JILL.
- AND WHICH ROAD IS THAT, DR. ADAMS?
- THE ONE WITH YOUR PERSONAL LIFE ON ONE SIDE,
YOUR PROFESSIONAL LIFE ON THE OTHER.
PICK A LANE, MISS CASEY.
- MY EX WAS A LOCAL DOCTOR TOO.
- SO HE'S A DOCTOR AND I'M A DOCTOR.
THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME HIM.
- I'M DIVYA. DIVYA KATDARE.
I'D LIKE TO BE YOUR P.A.
- MY P.A. - PHYSICIAN ASSISTANT.
- YOUR MOTHER HIRED ME
TO HELP PLAN YOUR ENGAGEMENT PARTY.
- YOUR WHAT?
- YOU COULDN'T POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND MY SITUATION.
- IS THIS AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE?
WHAT IF SHE GETS ENGAGED AND MOVES TO LONDON?
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
- IS BORIS SICK?
- YOU CAN'T LET GO OF MY HAND, CAN YOU?
- NO, I CAN'T.
- THIS THING YOU HAVE, IT'S GENETIC.
- AS YOU'VE SO DILIGENTLY DISCOVERED, HANK, QUITE FATAL.
- YOU'VE KNOWN YOUR WHOLE LIFE. - HOW IT WOULD END--YES.
MY FAMILY MEDICAL HISTORY.
- YOU DON'T WANT YOUR DAD TO SEE HOW FAR YOU'VE COME?
- WE WORSHIPPED HIM.
BUT THEN WHEN OUR MOM GOT SICK AND WE NEEDED HIM MOST,
HE JUST WALKED OUT ON US.
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT HE THINKS.
APPARENTLY, THE CHECK YOU WROTE THEM
FOR A NEW PORTABLE EKG MACHINE JUST BOUNCED.
WHAT'S UP? - WE'RE BROKE.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN BROKE? - WE GOT SCAMMED.
- BY WHO? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DIDN'T TELL ME
THAT DAD TOOK ALL OUR MONEY.
- MR. KUESTER VON JURG-- - BORIS WILL DO.
I'M SHORT ON TIME. - I'M DIVYA KATDARE.
I WORK FOR HANK.
- I KNOW WHO YOU ARE, MISS KATDARE.
AND IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING, HANK WORKS FOR ME.
SO I'M HOPING AT LEAST ONE US KNOWS WHERE HE IS.
- I'M SURE HE'S WITH A PATIENT.
- WELL, WE HAD AN APPOINTMENT 21 MINUTES AGO.
SHALL I GRAB A COPY OF US WEEKLY
AND TAKE A SEAT IN THE WAITING ROOM?
- I'LL SEE IF I CAN TRACK HIM DOWN.
HANK, DIVYA AGAIN.
WHERE ARE YOU?
[door closes]
[cell phone rings]
CAN'T SEEM TO GET AHOLD OF YOU SO I'LL COVER THE VISIT
AND TRY YOU AGAIN WHEN I'M DONE.
ANY OTHER SYMPTOMS?
- YEAH, I'VE HAD, UH, PINS AND NEEDLES
IN MY HANDS AND ARMS.
- HMM. AND WHAT LINE OF WORK ARE YOU IN, MR. FISHER?
- I PRODUCE AND STAR IN A BUNCH OF SILLY INFOMERCIALS.
- HAVE YOU BEEN WORKING VERY HARD LATELY?
- ACTUALLY, I'VE BEEN PLAYING HOOKY.
MY DAD PASSED AWAY RECENTLY, AND LEFT ME THIS HOUSE.
- WELL, MY CONDOLENCES. - THANK YOU.
- JUST BEEN A LOT OF WORK SORTING THROUGH EVERYTHING.
AND I HAVE NOT BEEN SLEEPING MUCH LATELY.
ACTUALLY, THAT'S A SYMPTOM, RIGHT?
"NOT SLEEPING MUCH LATELY,"
IF YOU WANT TO PUT THAT DOWN.
WHAT DO YOU THINK MIGHT BE WRONG?
- WELL, I THINK THE SLEEPLESSNESS
IS CAUSING ANXIETY
AND THE ANXIETY'S CAUSING EVERYTHING ELSE.
I'M GOING TO PRESCRIBE YOU A LOW DOSE OF ATIVAN.
THAT SHOULD DO THE TRICK.
- GREAT. OKAY. THANK YOU.
OH, I WAS ACTUALLY WONDERING, JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY,
IS THERE AN ACTUAL HANK IN HANKMED?
- THERE IS. BUT HE'S-- - AH, HE'S PLAYING HOOKY TOO.
- [sighs]
[ringback tone]
- HEY, YOU'VE REACHED EVAN R. LAWSON, CFO OF HANKMED.
PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE. THANKS A LOT.
[knocking at door] DAD?
- THE FIRST VACATION HE TOOK US ON
WAS A 20-MINUTE DRIVE TO NEW YORK CITY.
HE CALLED IT "THE ULTIMATE ISLAND GETAWAY."
THIS IS WHERE WE STAYED.
AND THIS IS WHERE YOU TRIED FINDING HIM A FEW YEARS LATER
AFTER HE LEFT ON HIS PERMANENT VACATION.
- IT'S NOT SO PERMANENT ANYMORE.
DAD'S AT THE BANK.
RIGHT NOW, HE'S GETTING US OUR MONEY.
- REALLY? - YEAH.
- AND HOW LONG AGO DID HE LEAVE?
- HE LEFT 20 MINUTES AGO.
HE LEFT A COUPLE HOURS AGO, OKAY?
I WOKE UP, HE LEFT A NOTE.
- LOOK AT THAT. HE STOLE YOUR MOVE.
COME ON, EV, LET'S GO HOME.
YOU MADE A HELL OF A MESS OUT THERE.
YOU CAN'T CLEAN IT UP FROM HERE.
- NO, I'M NOT GOING HOME.
HE'S COMING BACK THIS TIME.
I GUARANTEE IT.
- HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN IN TOUCH WITH HIM?
- WHAT--HE'S OUR FATHER.
- DESPITE MY BEST EFFORTS,
IT LOOKS LIKE THERE'S STILL ONE SUCKER LEFT IN THIS FAMILY
READY TO BUY WHATEVER EDDIE R. LAWSON HAS TO SELL.
LAST CHANCE. YOU COMING OR NOT?
OKAY.
[door slams]
HAVE YOU SEEN A GREEN FOLDER?
IT WAS RIGHT HERE ON THE COUNTER.
- YOU MEAN IT DISAPPEARED WITHOUT NOTIFYING YOU?
- AGAIN, SORRY ABOUT THAT. - IT'S FINE.
I WAS JUST WORRIED ABOUT YOU GUYS.
WELL, A LITTLE LESS ABOUT EVAN.
SOMEWHERE DEEP INSIDE ME,
I PROBABLY KNEW HE WAS SITTING IN A SUITE AT THE WALDORF.
- [chuckles] - SORRY.
I HAVE NOT SEEN A GREEN FOLDER. - OKAY.
- ANY CHANCE YOU CAN HELP ME DECIDE OUR CFO'S BALANCE SHEET?
- HOW BAD IS IT?
- IT IS THE ACCOUNTING VERSION OF PIG LATIN.
- NO, I MEANT FINANCIALLY.
- WELL, BECAUSE WE'RE NET 60 AND OUR VENDORS ARE NET 30,
WE DEPEND ON OUR RESERVES TO STAY IN THE BLACK.
- IN ENGLISH?
- IF WE DON'T FIND SOME FAST CASH SOON,
WE ARE IN TROUBLE.
- [sighs] - EVAN.
- DON'T BLAME HIM. BLAME ME.
- UH, MY PAYCHECK BOUNCED. I BLAME HIM.
- NO, I LET HIM PUT US IN THIS POSITION.
I SHOULD'VE KNOWN BETTER.
BUT I GUESS FAMILY CAN CLOUD YOUR JUDGMENT.
- TELL ME ABOUT IT.
- YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT? - YOU MEAN ABOUT MY PARTY?
ABOUT MY INVOLUNTARY ENGAGEMENT?
ABOUT MY IMPOSSIBLY COMPLICATED FUTURE?
- YEAH. - NOT AT ALL.
WE HAVE BIGGER FISH TO FRY.
I.E. YOUR RAIN CHECK
WITH YOUR DISPLEASED PATIENT/LANDLORD.
- ARE YOU SICK OF TRYING TO MAKE DRINKS AT HOME
THAT JUST DON'T END UP RIGHT?
[microphone thuds]
EEW. YUCK.
WHENEVER I TRY TO MAKE DRINKS AT HOME,
THE PROPORTIONS ARE ALL WRONG.
WELL, NOT ANYMORE.
I HAVE CREATED THE ELECTRONIC BARTENDER.
[cell phone ringing]
THIS IS A NO-MUSS, NO-FUSS RECIPE
FOR CLASSIC COCKTAILS.
IT'S AS EASY AS PUSHING BUTTONS.
- WELL, TELL ME, HOW DOES FREEDOM TASTE?
- FREEDOM?
SORRY TO HEAR YOU HAD TO LEAVE BEFORE THE ACTUAL CEREMONY.
- I KNOW. ME TOO.
- MUST'VE BEEN SOMETHING IMPORTANT.
- IT WAS, UH--IT WAS BUSINESS AND PERSONAL.
SO HOW DID RAJ HANDLE BEING LEFT AT THE ALTAR?
- I REALLY DON'T HAVE TIME FOR CHITCHAT, EVAN.
I CAN'T INTERPRET YOUR KINDERGARTEN-LEVEL HANDWRITING,
LET ALONE YOUR BYZANTINE SYSTEM FOR INSURANCE CODES.
- WHOA, DON'T GET YOUR SCRUBS IN A BUNCH.
EVERYTHING'S GONNA WORK OUT JUST FINE.
- YOU NEED TO GET BACK HERE
AND DIG US OUT OF THE HOLE THAT YOU PUT US IN.
AND YOU NEED TO DO IT NOW.
THIS IS THE WORST POSSIBLE TIME
FOR YOU TO THROW INTO JEOPARDY THE ONE THING
THAT STILL MAKES ANY SENSE.
- OH, MY GOD. YOU WENT THROUGH WITH IT.
DIDN'T YOU?
YOU GOT ENGAGED.
DIV--
- THE ELECTRONIC BARTENDER IS YOURS NOW
FOR JUST FOUR EASY PAYMENTS OF $19.95.
- [speaking Spanish]
- IS THERE ANY LANGUAGE YOU DON'T SPEAK FLUENTLY?
- HANK.
POR FAVOR. MOMENTO.
WHEN YOU WANT TO ACQUIRE EXQUISITE CUBAN ROSES,
YOU HAVE TO GO WHERE THEY ARE AND LEARN THE LANGUAGE.
- WELL, YOU MUST'VE IMPORTED THEM
BEFORE THE '63 EMBARGO.
- YOU KNOW YOUR HISTORY.
WHAT ABOUT MY HISTORY?
- UH, I HAVEN'T FINISHED REVIEWING YOUR FILE.
AND NOT JUST BECAUSE I LOST IT.
I HAD TO DEAL WITH A FAMILY SITUATION.
THAT'S AN EXPLANATION, BUT NOT AN EXCUSE.
- YOU KNOW, HANK, THIS IS NOT A QUID PRO QUOARRANGEMENT.
YOU'RE WELCOME TO STAY HERE AS LONG AS YOU LIKE.
- THANK YOU.
- BUT PERHAPS I'D BE BETTER SERVED
BY ANOTHER PHYSICIAN--
ONE WITH FEWER DISTRACTIONS.
- BORIS, YOU CAN TRUST ME. - YEAH.
UNFORTUNATELY, I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU CAN TRUST.
YOU DON'T HAVE THE FILE, HANK, BECAUSE I HAVE IT.
I FOUND IT LAYING OUT IN THE GUEST QUARTERS
LIKE SOME COFFEE TABLE ACCESSORY.
- YOUR FILE WASN'T READ, YOUR PRIVACY WASN'T VIOLATED,
AND YOUR TRUST WASN'T BROKEN.
I HAD A ROUGH MORNING AND MISSED AN APPOINTMENT.
AND FOR THAT, I'M SORRY BECAUSE QUID PRO QUOOR NOT,
YOU DESERVE BETTER FROM ME.
- THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP, DR. BLAIR.
- UH, JILL, CAN I SPEAK TO YOU, PLEASE?
- HEY, LIZ. UH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN HERE?
- FUNNY, THAT WAS MY QUESTION.
I GUESS WE'RE BOTH USED TO SEEING THE E.R. DOCS HANDLE
THIS KIND OF WORK.
TOO BAD YOU SEEM TO BE SYSTEMATICALLY TERMINATING THEM
ONE BY ONE.
- THAT'S RUMOR AND EXAGGERATION.
- YOU DIDN'T FIRE DR. MADDEN AT THE HORSE SHOW?
- OH, NO, I DID.
- AND BEFORE EVEN REPLACING HIM, YOU DIDN'T AXE DR. CASEY?
- CHARLIE SAID I FIRED HIM?
- DO YOU HAVE A SECRET PLAN TO START CUTTING BACK
ON PATIENT EMERGENCIES AS WELL?
BECAUSE IF NOT, JILL, I SEE A SERIOUS MATH PROBLEM
IN OUR FUTURE.
- MAYBE WE SHOULD DISCUSS THIS LATER.
- I UNDERSTAND THAT WE'VE JUST RECEIVED
THE LATEST PRESS GANEY SCORES.
- PATIENT SATISFACTION UP 10%.
- THANKS TO YOUR EFFORTS, I'M SURE,
TO INTEGRATE THE RECORD SYSTEMS
AND STREAMLINE THE REFERRAL PROCESS.
CONGRATULATIONS. - THANK YOU.
- BUT I'M A HIGHLY TRAINED G.I. SURGEON
CALLED DOWN HERE TO RUN ERRANDS FAR BELOW MY PAY GRADE.
I'M ALSO A MEMBER OF THE BOARD
OBLIGATED TO MAKE SURE THAT SURGEONS LIKE ME
AREN'T WASTING OUR TIME.
- WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
- WHAT I'M SAYING IS THAT I'M REALLY HAPPY
THAT THE PATIENTS ARE SO SATISFIED.
BUT THE DOCTORS AREN'T.
AND THAT'S A PROBLEM THAT YOU NEED TO FIX QUICKLY.
- AND GIVEN THE PROJECTED INCOME FROM THIS--
- HI, DIETER. BYE, DIETER.
- AND GIVEN THE PROJECTED INCOME
OF THIS WEEK'S RATHER LIGHT SCHEDULE--
- WE'LL BE EVEN WORSE OFF IN SEVEN DAYS THAN WE ARE NOW.
- SORRY TO PAINT SUCH A ROSY PICTURE.
- WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
- YOU'RE GONNA DO THREE THINGS.
FIRST, YOU'RE GONNA STOP WORRYING ABOUT MONEY,
'CAUSE THAT'S MY JOB.
SECOND, YOU'RE GONNA TAKE A BREAK
AND REPLENISH YOUR BODY'S ESSENTIAL INVENTORIES
OF SUGAR AND CAFFEINE.
AND THIRD, YOU ARE GOING TO JOIN ME
ON A LITTLE MAGIC CARPET RIDE I LIKE TO CALL
"THE HANKMED EMERGENCY STAFF MEETING."
- YOU'RE ABOUT SIX HOURS LATE FOR IT.
- YEAH, WHY YOU RUNNING SO BEHIND TODAY, EV?
- BECAUSE I HAD A MEETING AND I GOT STOOD UP.
AND I'M SORRY FOR THAT.
BUT WHAT I LACK IN PUNCTUALITY,
I WILL MORE THAN MAKE UP FOR IN VISION AND IN LEADERSHIP.
- I FEEL INSPIRED ALREADY.
- OVER THE NEXT COUPLE MINUTES,
YOU'RE GONNA HEAR ALL ABOUT MY TURNAROUND PLAN,
WHICH WILL RESTORE HANKMED'S FISCAL HEALTH
AND EMPLOYEE MORALE.
THE FIRST STEP IN THE TURNAROUND PLAN IS...
DOO-BUH-DUH-DUH-DUH.
THE FIRST STEP IS TO FACE REALITY
AND MANAGE EXPECTATIONS.
THE TRUTH IS, AS WORD OF OUR SETBACK BEGINS TO SPREAD,
THE PHONES WILL TEMPORARILY STOP RINGING.
[cell phone rings] LOOK AT THAT.
REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY.
THE PHONE FALLS FOR THAT TRICK EVERY TIME, I FIND.
HELLO. HANKMED.
AND HOW CAN WE MAKE YOU FEEL ♪ SO MUCH BETTER TODAY?
OKAY, CALM DOWN. DO WE KNOW A SPENCER FISHER?
- YEAH, WE DO.
HE'S AT HOME. HE HAD AN ACCIDENT.
OKAY. VERY--JUST CALM DOWN.
HELP IS ON THE WAY, OKAY?
THIS IS A HORRIBLE CONNECTION.
GREAT. JUST STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE.
SEE, THE RAINMAKER'S BACK. THE RAINMAKER'S BACK.
I JUST HAD TO SHOW UP. SEE WHAT HAPPENS?
- THEN STAY HERE AND MAKE IT POUR.
NO SECURITY. NO STAFF.
THIS GUY SURE DIGS HIS PEACE AND QUIET.
- OR HE DID.
- EVAN, WHY ARE YOU HERE?
- I'M HERE TO HELP REBOOT HANKMED'S FINANCES
IN ANY WAY HUMANLY POSSIBLE.
- WELL, WHY DON'T YOU SELL THAT "HEY, CHECK ME OUT" SIGN
YOU DRIVE AROUND IN?
- [chuckles] WHAT, ARE YOU BEING SERIOUS?
- YEAH.
WHOA.
- SO I BROUGHT OUR NEW AND IMPROVED RETAINER AGREEMENT.
AND WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME WE WERE TREATING
SPENCER THE SPAZ?
- WE? - SPENCER THE SPAZ?
- HE'S AN INFOMERCIAL SALESMEN.
- NO, NO, NO, NO. HE'S THEINFOMERCIAL SALESMEN.
THIS THE GUY WHO BROUGHT US THE ELECTRONIC BARTENDER.
CHA-CHING. ALONG WITH A PARADE OF OTHER USER-FRIENDLY
NOVELTY BLOCKBUSTERS.
- HEY, LOOK, OUR OWN INFOMERCIAL SCHOLAR.
HOW USEFUL. - [chuckles]
YOU NEVER HEARD HIS CATCHPHRASE--HIS MANTRA?
"WELL, IF I CAN DO IT, ANYONE CAN!"
- MR. FISHER, IT'S HANKMED!
- I'M DOWNSTAIRS!
JUST FOLLOW THE LIGHTS! - WHAT LIGHTS?
[electronic beeping]
- THAT'S THE COOLEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN.
STAY WITHIN THE LIGHTS. STAY WITHIN THE LIGHTS.
THIS IS INSANE!
- IN HERE! I THREW MY BACK OUT!
AND I CAN'T MOVE! - YOU'RE IN WHERE?
YOU'RE IN THE GIANT FIREPLACE?
- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, THE LASER--THE LASER--
WHAT THE HELL?
- EXCUSE ME. LITTLE HELP, PLEASE?
- GET THIS LADDER, GUYS.
[The Blue Van's Independence]
♪
- ♪ MY INDEPENDENCE WENT AWAY
♪ I DIDN'T LISTEN WHEN IT SAID ♪
♪ RELY ON YOURSELF
♪ TRUSTING SOMEONE ELSE
♪ IS A PATH FOR THE SILENT GHOST ♪
- LET'S GET HIS BACK AGAINST THIS WALL RIGHT HERE.
HERE WE GO. LOWER DOWN. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, GOOD.
- OH, THIS IS A NICE POSITION. - I'M GLAD.
- THIS IS A GOOD--ARE WE MOVING FROM THIS POSITION?
- YEAH. WE'RE MOVING. - 'CAUSE THAT WAS A GOOD ONE.
- SORRY. HERE WE GO. OKAY. GENTLY DOWN.
TRY TO KEEP YOUR BACK STRAIGHT. CAREFUL. WATCH THE NECK.
- OH. UH. - EASY.
- OH. AH!
- THERE YOU GO, PAL.
- WOW. YOU'RE SPENCER THE SPAZ.
- [chuckles] TODAY MORE THAN EVER, HUH?
- DID YOU INVENT ALL THOSE PRODUCTS IN THIS ROOM?
- NO, MY DAD DID.
- DIVYA FILLED ME IN ON YOUR DAD'S PASSING.
I'M SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS. - THANK YOU.
THEY THINK IT WAS KIDNEY FAILURE,
BUT MY DAD DIED--
LIKE HE DID EVERYTHING ELSE IN HIS LIFE--
BEHIND A VEIL OF SECRECY SO...
- MR. FISHER, HOW DID YOU HURT YOURSELF?
- OH, SILLY.
I WAS UP IN THE CEILING TRYING TO FIX SOME OF THE WIRING
AND MY BACK JUST LOCKED UP ON ME.
EVERY TIME I MOVE, IT HURTS.
- THAT'S GOT TO BE NORMAL, RIGHT?
WITH YOUR LEVEL OF SPAZ-TICITY,
YOU MUST BE GETTING INJURED ALL THE TIME.
- SPAZ-TICITY. I'VE NEVER HEARD THAT ONE.
THAT'S GOOD.
YOU KNOW, I'M NOT REALLY A KLUTZ.
IT'S JUST A MARKETING STRATEGY.
A WAY TO SELL MORE SELF-CLEANING SPONGES.
- HE'S A GENIUS.
YOU'RE A--THAT'S-- YOU'RE MORE THAN A GENIUS,
MY FRIEND, YOU'RE, LIKE, OMNISCIENT.
- MY DAD HAD THE GENIUS. BELIEVE ME.
I JUST BROUGHT IT TO THE WORLD.
- CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR TOES?
OKAY. DOES THE PAIN GO DOWN EITHER OR BOTH OF YOUR LEGS?
- NO. IT'S JUST A BIG, BIG, BIG ACHE IN MY LOWER BACK.
- WOULD YOU PUSH AGAINST MY HANDS WITH YOUR FEET?
OKAY. NO ABNORMALITIES IN THE DEEP TENDON REFLEXES
OR STRENGTH.
NO BONY TENDERNESS OR DEFORMITY SO FAR.
LET'S LOGROLL HIM. - OH, LIKE A LOG?
- HERE WE GO. 1, 2, 3. - OKAY.
- ALL RIGHT, ANY OF THIS HURT? - NO.
OW! OHO-HO-HO. - OKAY, THERE WE GO.
IT'S JUST A MUSCLE SPASM.
- YOU'RE A LUCKY MAN, MR. FISHER.
- OKAY. I'LL TRUST YOU ON THAT.
[mechanisms whirring]
[locks snapping shut]
- WHOA.
LOOK AT THESE.
YOU TELL ME THESE ARE NOT BEGGING TO BE PRESSED.
- IT'S OKAY. WELCOME TO MY FATHER'S OFFICE.
- IT'S VERY...HOMEY. - OPEN PANIC ROOM DOOR.
[locks snapping open]
- WOW. ALL RIGHT, LET'S-- LET'S GET HIM UP.
WE'RE JUST GONNA PICK YOU UP. - OW.
- ANY ULCER OR DIABETES OR ALLERGIES?
- NO. - OKAY.
60 MILLIGRAMS KETOROLAC.
AND CONTINUE THE ATIVAN.
THAT SHOULD HELP THE PAIN AND THE SPASM.
- OKAY. IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO
TO PREVENT THIS FROM HAPPENING AGAIN?
- YES, AVOID ONE-MAN CONSTRUCTION JOBS.
AND AS DIVYA RECOMMENDED YESTERDAY,
TRY TO GET SOME SLEEP.
- AND THE MUSCLE RELAXANTS WILL IMPAIR
YOUR JUDGMENT AND REFLEXES SO NO HARD LABOR AT ALL.
- ESPECIALLY NOT WITH TOOLS.
- GUYS, YOU SHOULD CHECK THIS OUT.
- WHOA.
- I MEAN, EITHER YOUR DAD WAS TRYING TO SET UP
HIS OWN CONCIERGE MEDICINE BUSINESS...
- YEAH, OR HE WAS PREPARED TO SPEND A VERY LONG TIME
IN THIS ROOM.
- LISTEN, BETWEEN YOU AND...
YOU AND YOU AND ME,
I'M NOT DOWN HERE TO UPDATE THIS ROOM.
I'M DOWN HERE TO DISMANTLE IT.
AS MY DAD GOT OLDER, HE GOT MORE AND MORE ECCENTRIC.
HE WORKED AND PRACTICALLY LIVED
IN BETWEEN THESE IMPENETRABLE WALLS.
IT'S TIME FOR THE PANIC ROOM TO BE RETIRED.
IF YOU NEED ANY OF THOSE MEDICAL SUPPLIES,
PLEASE TAKE THEM.
YOU'D BE DOING ME A HUGE SOLID.
- YEAH, IT'S JUST THAT WE DON'T--
WE DON'T REALLY HAVE A NEED FOR THESE SUPPLIES.
- IF ONLY YOU KNEW SOMEONE WHO IS TRYING TO START UP
A FREE CLINIC.
- DR. BLAIR, I UNDERSTAND YOU FILED A FORMAL COMPLAINT
AGAINST ME.
- YES, I DID.
IN ADVANCE OF TOMORROW'S BOARD MEETING.
I CAN'T JUST KEEP WAITING FOR YOU TO RIGHT THIS SHIP.
- I'VE ALWAYS CONSIDERED YOU NOT JUST A COLLEAGUE,
BUT THE PERSON I TURN TO FOR GUIDANCE IN A SITUATION
EXACTLY LIKE THE ONE YOU'RE PUTTING ME IN RIGHT NOW.
- I'M SORRY. BUT MY LOYALTY IS TO HAMPTONS HERITAGE.
- AND WHEN DID YOU START DOUBTING MINE?
I DIDN'T FIRE CHARLIE. HE QUIT ON ME.
- PROFESSIONALLY OR ROMANTICALLY?
YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES WITH YOU, JILL,
IT'S DIFFICULT TO TELL JUST WHICH ONE WE'RE DISCUSSING.
IN FACT, I HEARD THAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP
WITH HANK LAWSON HAS BEEN ADDED
TO THE HEALTH SERVICES CURRICULUM
AS A CASE STUDY IN BAD JUDGMENT.
- FIRST OFF, MY JUDGMENT HAS SERVED THIS HOSPITAL
PRETTY DAMN WELL.
AND SECONDLY, MY RELATIONSHIP WITH HANK LAWSON IS OVER.
SO THE HOSPITAL BOARD IS FINALLY GOING TO HAVE TO FIND
A NEW TALKING POINT.
- MISS CASEY, DR. LAWSON'S WAITING FOR YOU IN YOUR OFFICE.
- HEY. - HEY.
EVERYTHING OKAY AROUND HERE?
- NOT ACCORDING TO OUR HOSPITAL'S
MOST POWERFUL SURGEON.
SHE THINKS I'VE PRETTY MUCH RUINED THE PLACE.
[sighs]
DID YOU STOP BY MY HOUSE THE OTHER NIGHT?
- I DID. BUT THIS ISN'T THAT.
THIS IS JUST BUSINESS.
- OH. - NO, NO.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO THINK I CAME TO YOUR WORKPLACE
TO REHASH OUR RELATIONSHIP OR LACK THEREOF OR WHATEVER--
- HANK. - YEAH.
- CHARLIE'S GONE. I FINALIZED THE DIVORCE.
FINALLY. - WOW.
SOUNDS LIKE YOU GOT YOUR HANDS FULL.
- I DO. BUT YOU CAME HERE ON BUSINESS,
SO WHAT'S UP?
- OH, UM, DO YOU HAVE TIME TO TAKE A RIDE?
- MS. NEWBERG, IT'S EVAN.
LET'S TALK NEWBERG BUSINESS.
EVAN R. LAWSON. THE CFO OF HANKMED. MS. NEW--
HELLO, ALLISON. HEY, CIAO CIAO.
HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
IT'S, UH, IT'S EVAN R. LAWSON, CFO OF HANKMED CALLING.
WE DID THE TB TESTING FOR THE STAFF
AT YOUR RESTAURANT.
NO, NO, NO. THE RESULTS ARE STILL NEGATIVE.
THAT'S AN INTERESTING CHOICE OF HOLD MUSIC.
SOUNDS A LOT LIKE A DIAL TONE.
AND I THOUGHT WE MIGHT DO SOME CONSULTING FOR YOU
LIKE MAYBE DESIGN A HANKMED APPROVED HEALTHY PAGE
FOR YOUR MENU.
YES, I CAN STICK IT.
OH, THERE'S THAT CATCHY HOLD MUSIC AGAIN.
BAAH!
- HEY, SPENCER, IT'S HANK.
I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I'M HEADED OVER THERE
WITH JILL CASEY SO SHE CAN TAKE A LOOK AT THAT EQUIPMENT.
HELLO? WHAT'S THAT SOUND?
UH, SPENCER, YOU'RE NOT OPERATING POWER TOOLS
UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF SEDATIVES, ARE YOU?
HELLO? CAN YOU HEAR ME?
- EVERYTHING OKAY? - I DOUBT IT.
I DON'T GET WHY THAT GUY'S SO OBSESSED
WITH RIPPING OUT PART OF HIS OWN HOUSE BY HAND.
- MAYBE IT'S NOT THE ROOM, BUT WHAT IT REPRESENTS.
IF I COULD DEMOLISH EVERY TRACE OF CHARLIE IN MY HOUSE--
- YOU'D BE LIVING IN THE DRIVEWAY?
SPENCER? - HELP.
- OH. - A NAIL GUN? REALLY?
- HANK, I SWEAR, THE SPAZ THING REALLY IS JUST AN ACT.
- OKAY. - THAT'S IT. SPENCER THE SPAZ.
I LOVE YOUR INFOMERCIALS. - THANK YOU.
- JILL, COULD YOU PREP ME A SYRINGE OF LIDO?
- SURE. - THANKS.
- WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?
THESE ACCIDENTS ARE CONNECTED TO MY HEADACHES
AND PINS AND NEEDLES, AREN'T THEY?
- WELL, WE'LL START MONITORING
FOR CERVICAL DISC DISEASE OR SPINAL STENOSIS.
BUT I THINK YOUR ANXIETY AND YOUR TRAUMAS
ARE TWO SEPARATE ISSUES.
- BY THE WAY, HOW COME I'M NOT SCREAMING IN PAIN?
- WELL, THE MEDICATIONS YOU'RE ON FOR ONE.
ALSO, THE NERVES NEAR THE PUNCTURE
WERE COMPRESSED BY THE SWELLING AND BECAME ANESTHETIC.
BUT JUST TO BE EXTRA, EXTRA SAFE--
THANK YOU--I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A SHOT OF LIDOCAINE.
- OKAY. UM, THAT STUFF THAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR
IS BACK THERE IF YOU WANT TO TAKE A LOOK.
- YEAH.
- DO YOU HAVE A PAIR OF PLIERS?
- YES. - WHERE MIGHT THEY BE?
- OVER THERE BY MY DAD'S THERMOSTATS.
- THANK YOU.
- WHOA. THAT'S HOW THIS WORKS?
- THAT'S HOW THIS WORKS. - OH, MAN.
- ON A COUNT OF THREE,
I AM GOING TO PULL THIS NAIL OUT.
- OKAY, ON THREE OR RIGHT AFTER THREE?
IS IT 3, 2--AH!
OH. YOU'RE GOOD. - THANK YOU.
- ARE YOU SURE I CAN HAVE ALL THIS EQUIPMENT
FOR MY CLINIC?
- IT'S ALL YOURS.
OH, BY THE WAY,
THERE'S A BUNCH OF MEDS BACK THERE THAT YOU CAN LOOK AT.
THEY'RE ON THE SHELF.
- YEAH, I DON'T THINK THESE ARE MEDS.
I THINK THESE ARE OLD CHEMICAL VIALS.
- IT'S PROBABLY PART OF YOUR DAD'S LAB.
- OH. THAT MAKES SENSE, I GUESS.
- YEAH, SOME OF THESE NEED TO BE HANDLED CAREFULLY.
I'M GONNA GO CALL MY FRIEND ON THE HAZMAT TEAM.
BUT THE REST I CAN STORE IN THE HOSPITAL'S DUNGEON,
ALONG WITH 20 YEAR'S WORTH OF OTHER USELESS ANTIQUES.
- KEEP THIS OUT OF THE LINE OF FIRE
AND IT SHOULD HEAL JUST FINE.
THERE YOU GO. - THANK YOU.
- SPENCER, I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE THIS ROOM,
BUT WE REALLY GOT TO STOP MEETING LIKE THIS.
- MY DAD HAD TWO SIDES TO HIM.
ONE WAS THE BRILLIANT, INDUSTRIOUS SIDE.
I'D CALL THAT HIS BRIGHT SIDE.
- AND THE OTHER SIDE?
- THE RECLUSIVE PARANOID SIDE.
THAT'S THE SIDE NO ONE ELSE KNEW ABOUT.
NOW, CLEARLY THE BRIGHT SIDE WASN'T PASSED DOWN TO ME.
YOU KNOW? I'M NO GENIUS, HANK.
I'M JUST A SALESMAN WITH GOOD PRODUCT.
AND I KNOW THAT.
- SO YOU'RE AFRAID YOU'RE DESTINED
TO INHERIT HIS OTHER SIDE.
- WHAT IF I END UP GOING CRAZY LIKE HE DID?
CAN YOU ASSURE ME THAT HIS MENTAL ILLNESS
ISN'T GENETIC?
- NO. I CAN'T.
AND I GET WANTING TO DISTANCE YOURSELF
FROM YOUR DAD'S LEGACY.
BELIEVE ME, I DO.
BUT, SPENCER, IF YOU WANT TO NIP INSANITY IN THE BUD,
I'LL BE HONEST WITH YOU,
TRYING TO GET RID OF THIS ROOM SEEMS WAY CRAZIER
THAN JUST STAYING THE HELL AWAY FROM IT.
- DO YOU WANT TO HEAR THIS? - NO.
- YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT IS.
- SORRY. YOU'RE RIGHT. WHAT IS IT?
- IT'S THE SCRIPT FOR HANKMED'S FIRST INFOMERCIAL
TO AIR ON LOCAL STATIONS.
- REALLY? - YEAH.
ALL RIGHT, YOU WANT TO HEAR IT? - DEFINITELY NOT.
- "HELLO, FELLOW DENIZENS OF THE HAMPTONS.
"ARE YOU SICK OF WAITING ROOMS AND EXAM ROOMS?
"ARE YOU TIRED OF RUDE RECEPTIONISTS
"AND NEGLIGENT NURSES?
"WELL, THE NEXT TIME YOU'RE ILL OR INJURED,
"STAY RIGHT IN YOUR OWN LIVING ROOM
BECAUSE WE WILL COME TO YOU."
HOW'S IT HITTING YOU SO FAR?
- LIKE A WAVE OF ACUTE NAUSEA.
- ACUTE NAUSEA. I CAN ACTUALLY USE--
THAT'S GOOD. I CAN USE THAT AT THE END.
OKAY, SO-- - EVAN, PLEASE STOP.
- THIS COULD BE OUR TICKET OUT OF THE DOLDRUMS.
- I'D RATHER BE IN THE DOLDRUMS
THAN BE HAWKING PHYSICAL EXAMS ON QVC.
- YOU WON'T HAVE TO HAWK ANYTHING.
I'M THE TALENT. - OH.
- OUR NEWEST PATIENT, HE COULD BE MY PERFORMANCE COACH.
- AS LONG AS THERE'S A HANK,
THERE WILL BE NO HANKMED INFOMERCIALS.
- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
- FURTHERMORE... - FURTHERMORE...
- JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE BACK TO NORMAL DOESN'T MEAN
THAT HANKMED IS, AND IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT WE ARE.
SO HOW ABOUT YOU STOP WORRYING ABOUT OUR MEDIA PLAN
AND YOU START WORRYING ABOUT GETTING US
THROUGH THE WEEK WITHOUT ANY CASH?
HI. - HI.
THE COLD WAR'S STILL RAGING? - YEAH.
HE WOULDN'T EVEN HEAR MY PITCH.
"FELLOW DENIZENS." "DENIZENS."
- EVAN...
IT IS TIME TO EASE OFF THE HARD SELL.
YOU NEED TO REGAIN HANK'S TRUST FIRST AS HIS BROTHER
THEN AS HIS CFO.
AND YOU WERE RIGHT.
I DIDN'T CALL OFF THE ENGAGEMENT.
- I FIGURED THAT GIANT RING WASN'T A CONSOLATION PRIZE.
WHAT HAPPENED? DID YOU JUST CHICKEN OUT?
- I DIDN'T CHICKEN OUT.
WHAT I REALIZED AT THE LAST POSSIBLE MOMENT
WAS THAT I HAD TO LET A DREAM GO AND FACE THE REALITY
IN ORDER TO EMBRACE WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT:
FAMILY.
LOOK, EVAN, I KNOW THAT YOU WANT HANK
TO FORGIVE YOUR FATHER AND WELCOME HIM BACK
WITH OPEN ARMS.
BUT IF YOU KEEP PUSHING YOUR DREAM DESPITE THE REALITY,
YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE WHAT MATTERS MOST TO YOU.
SEPARATE WORKING QUARTERS?
IS THIS WHAT IT'S COME TO?
- PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME WITH HIM.
- I'LL HELP YOU FIND A GREAT REPLACEMENT.
AND I'LL TRAIN THEM TO WHIP EVAN DAILY
JUST LIKE I DO.
- THAT'D BE GREAT.
- AND TRUST ME,
I DON'T WANT TO MOVE TO RAJ'S FLAT IN LONDON.
- YEAH, BUT YOU HAVE TO. - YES, I DO.
DO YOU KNOW WHY?
- THEY'RE JUST NOT EMBRACING YOUR ACCENT OVER HERE?
- BECAUSE SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO MEET FAMILY HALFWAY
EVEN IF YOU DON'T GET WHERE THEY'RE COMING FROM.
- YOU COULD ARGUE LONDON'S MORE THAN A HALFWAY POINT.
[cell phone rings]
- HMM. SPENCER FISHER. HELLO, MR. FISHER.
MR. FISHER.
SIGNAL DROPPED.
HE PROBABLY STUCK HIS FINGER IN AN ELECTRICAL OUTLET.
- YEAH, OR GO THIS HEAD CAUGHT IN A VISE.
- DON'T WORRY, I'LL TAKE THIS ONE.
- GREAT. AS LONG AS YOU TAKE THAT ONE TOO.
- [speaking native language]
- GOING FOR THE OLD SUMMER CUT, HUH?
- HAS TO GO SOONER OR LATER.
- I'VE REVIEWED YOUR FILE.
- YEAH, REAL PAGE TURNER, HUH?
STORY OF A TRUE ARISTOCRATIC DYNASTY
GOING BACK 500 YEARS.
- YEAH, THE GLAMOUR AND MAJESTY WERE INTOXICATING.
I'M READY TO TRY AND HELP.
- [speaks in native language]
[clears throat] HOW WILL YOU HELP?
AS YOU KNOW NOW,
I'VE SPOKEN TO LEADING RESEARCHERS
AND SCIENTISTS FROM--HA-- SAO PAULO, SINGAPORE,
TEL AVIV, GEESTHACHT, BEIJING, SYDNEY...
MINNESOTA.
YOU NAME THE PLACE, I'VE FLOWN THERE WITH HOPE
AND COME BACK EMPTY-HANDED.
- YOU'VE SPOKEN TO AN AWFUL LOT OF EXPERTS, BORIS.
BUT AS FAR AS I CAN TELL,
NONE OF THEM HAVE SPOKEN TO EACH OTHER.
SEE, WHAT YOU'RE MISSING, I BELIEVE,
IS A GLOBAL PERSPECTIVE.
SOMEONE TO EXAMINE THE BIG PICTURE
AND, I HOPE, TIE IT ALL TOGETHER.
WITH YOUR PERMISSION, I'D LIKE TO START MAKING SOME CALLS,
TALKING TO THESE DOCTORS AND RESEARCHERS
AND ASKING SOME QUESTIONS.
AND I'D LIKE TO DO SO AS YOUR PRIMARY CARE PHYSICIAN.
YOUR QUARTERBACK.
- QUARTERBACK?
WELL, WHERE WILL YOU START, QUARTERBACK?
- AT THE BEGINNING.
DR. MARISA CASSERAS OF HAVANA HOSPITAL.
THINK ABOUT IT. LET ME KNOW.
- LUIGI.
THAT'S ALL.
- JUST TRUST ME.
YOU WON'T EVEN KNOW I'M HERE.
- UNLIKELY.
- JUST WANT TO PITCH HIM MY INFOMERCIAL,
VERY DISCREETLY, AND, UH...
THAT'S WEIRD. HMM.
STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
- SELLING A STATE-OF-THE-ART PANINI MAKER
CAN BUY YOU A HOUSE LIKE THIS?
- NO, THAT YOU'RE ENGAGED.
- THANKS FOR THE REMINDER.
- LOOK, I KNOW THAT PARENTS CAN PUT THEIR OWN INTERESTS
AHEAD OF WHAT'S BEST FOR THEIR KIDS.
BUT THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF AN ENGAGEMENT,
IS IT'S OPEN-ENDED.
IT'S NOT TOO LATE TILL YOU SET A DATE.
- THE WEDDING'S IN 60 DAYS.
- OH. YEAH, YOU'RE SCREWED.
I'M KIDDING. KIND OF.
- [wincing and grunting]
- OKAY, CALL HANK. THEN CALL 911.
- HELP ME. GOD, HELP ME.
OH. AAH!
- HEY. - THE EMTs ARE FIVE MINUTES OUT.
101 OVER 49 AND A PULSE OF 113.
- OKAY. MULTIPLE WIDE-BORE LINES OF SALINE.
SPENCER, ON A SCALE FROM 1-10,
TELL ME WHAT YOUR PAIN LEVEL IS.
- WE'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER SCALE.
- DUDE, THE DOOR IS CRUSHING HIM.
- WE MADE THE OBSERVATION, EVAN.
- UH, SO WHY DON'T WE JUST TRY TO OPEN IT?
- NO, NO, NO!
THE PRESSURE OF THE DOOR IS WHAT'S KEEPING HIM ALIVE.
- WHAT? - IT'S ACTING AS A TOURNIQUET.
IF WE RELEASE IT NOW, HE COULD BLEED OUT INTERNALLY.
- OKAY. RIGHT. OKAY, TOURNIQUET. YEAH.
- OKAY, WEAK AND VERY FAST.
- HEY. - I KNOW, PAL.
YOU'RE NOT REALLY A SPAZ. - [laughs, spasms]
- WHAT IS--WHAT IS--WHAT--
- HE'S GOING INTO HEMORRHAGIC SHOCK.
- OKAY, SO AM I.
NOW I KNOW WHY THEY CALL IT A PANIC ROOM.
WHERE THE HELL ARE THOSE EMTs?
- IT'S GONNA BE OKAY, BUDDY. IT'S GONNA BE OKAY.
SOME BRONCHI AT THE BASE OF THE RIGHT
NEAR IMPACT SIDE.
CAN YOU REACH THE PEDAL PULSES?
- I CAN'T GET PAST HIS KNEES.
- ALL RIGHT. TRY FOR THE POPLITEALS.
- OKAY. - [crying]
- OKAY, BUDDY. IT'S OKAY.
- OKAY, STRONGER ON THE RIGHT THAN THE LEFT,
BUT BOTH VERY WEAK.
- SPENCER, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. ONE SECOND.
MAJOR LACERATION.
HELPS EXPLAIN THE HYPOTENSION AND TACHYCARDIA.
- I FIGURED IT WAS ONLY INTERNAL BLEEDING.
- FLUIDS WILL ONLY GO SO FAR.
EVENTUALLY HE'LL BLEED OUT HIS OWN SUPPLY
AND THEN BLEED OUT THE SALINE
FASTER THAN WE CAN PUMP IT IN HIM.
- AND IF WE OPEN THE DOOR, HE'LL DIE EVEN FASTER.
- MM-HMM.
- IF ONLY WE COULD TAKE HIM TO THE HOSPITAL LIKE THIS.
[footsteps approach]
- JESUS. HOW CAN WE HELP, DOC?
- ALL RIGHT, WE NEED MORE SALINE,
WE NEED THE STRETCHER READY,
AND THEN WE NEED TO HAUL ASS TO HAMPTONS HERITAGE.
AS SOON AS WE OPEN THAT DOOR,
IT'LL BE A SCOOP AND RUN AGAINST THE CLOCK.
GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!
- HANK, EVEN RACING DOWN AN EMPTY MONTAUK HIGHWAY,
HOW WILL WE EVER MAKE IT THAT FAR IN TIME?
- WITH A LITTLE LUCK,
ALL WE'LL NEED IS SOME HELP FROM JILL'S BASEMENT
FULL OF USELESS ANTIQUES.
- AS I STATED PREVIOUSLY, I DID NOT TERMINATE DR. CASEY.
- THIS FORMAL COMPLAINT, MRS. CASEY,
IS NOT JUST ABOUT THE LOSS
OF ANOTHER RESPECTED E.R. DOCTOR.
- WHAT'S IT ABOUT THEN?
- WE WANT TO OFFER YOU A CHANCE
TO KEEP THIS REVIEW OFF YOUR RECORD.
- BY TENDERING MY RESIGNATION?
- BY AVOIDING AN UGLY PROCEEDING.
[cell phone ringing]
- WELL, I APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERN
FOR MY RESUME, DR. BLAIR, BUT I ASSURE--
[cell phone buzzes]
I'M SORRY. I NEED TO EXCUSE MYSELF.
- WHAT COULD BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN SAVING HER JOB?
- ACCORDING TO INVENTORY, WE DO HAVE ONE.
BUT THE LAST TIME IT WAS USED, I WAS IN JUNIOR HIGH.
OKAY. IT'S GOT TO BE IN HERE SOMEWHERE.
WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?
- IT SHOULD SAY "M.A.S.T." ON THE SIDE.
M-A-S-- - GOT IT.
- GREAT. WHO'S THE FASTEST DRIVER AT YOUR HOSPITAL?
LET'S SEE.
- WE'RE SAVING HIM USING MC HAMMER MEMORABILIA?
- THEY'RE INFLATABLE TROUSERS.
THEY WERE DEVELOPED BY THE MILITARY IN THE '60s.
THEY'LL HELP STABILIZE HIS B.P.
WHILE WE TRANSPORT HIM TO HERITAGE.
- AGH! - HANK, 90 OVER 40. 125.
- OPEN UP ALL IVs, CRANK UP THE FLUIDS,
AND GIVE HIM 2-MILLIGRAM BOLUSES OF MORPHINE EVERY FIVE MINUTES.
PUSH IT SLOWLY.
- I JUST FOUND A SHORTCUT TO ROUTE 27.
IT SHOULD SHAVE, LIKE, THREE MINUTES
OFF OUR PROBLEM.
- NO, NO, IT'S A SUMMER SATURDAY.
ROUTE 27 IS OUR PROBLEM.
I'LL GO SEE WHAT ELSE WE CAN DO TO BUY SOME TIME.
- OKAY.
WE'RE READY TO OPEN THE DOOR AND MOVE SPENCER NOW.
- OKAY. YEAH, YOU, ME, AND THE 911 BEEFCAKES
ARE GONNA HEAVE THAT DOOR RIGHT OFF AND [claps hands].
- EVAN, THE DOOR IS SIX INCHES THICK
AND WEIGHS 800 POUNDS.
THE FRONT LINE OF THE NEW YORK JETS
COULDN'T OPEN IT WITH BARE HANDS.
- OKAY. SO...
- FORTUNATELY, THERE'S A BIG, GREEN, RELEASE BUTTON
INSIDE THE PANIC ROOM.
- NO WAY.
I--I'M NOT PHYSICALLY QUALIFIED FOR THAT, HANK.
LOOK AT ME.
IF THAT DOOR SNAPPED SHUT ON MY FRAIL AND SLENDER BODY--
- DON'T WORRY.
AS A PRECAUTION, I ORDERED A SECOND PAIR OF TROUSERS
IN YOUR FAVORITE COLOR: SALMON.
- THIS IS REVENGE FOR THE DAD THING ISN'T IT?
- NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT.
BUT IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A WAY OUT OF THE DOGHOUSE...
- I MIGHT FIND IT THROUGH THAT DOOR.
- YOU CAN DO IT. - [grunts]
- SORRY, BUDDY. ALL RIGHT.
- HERE WE GO.
- PUSH ME. - ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
- [grunting] OH, GOD. - YOU GOT IT?
- OH, MY GOD. YES. PUSH. PUSH.
- YOU GOT IT? - OH, YEAH.
- YOU OKAY IN HERE? - YEAH, I'M GOOD.
I'M JUST COUNTING EXTREMITIES.
OKAY. YEAH. I'M ALL RIGHT. OKAY.
- IT'S WORKING. - OKAY. GUYS, ON THREE.
EVAN, ON THREE.
- ON THREE OR, LIKE, RIGHT AFTER THREE?
- WHATEVER. 1, 2, 3.
GET IN THERE. TURN HIM OVER.
OKAY.
LET'S GET HIS SHOULDERS.
LET'S GET HIM OVER THERE.
DOWN. DOWN. GOOD.
- OKAY, B.P.'S IN FREEFALL. - OKAY. TRAUMA SHEARS.
HEMCON BANDAGE.
THE CHITOSAN IN THE GAUZE WILL ADHERE
TO THE RED BLOOD CELLS AND FORM A TIGHT CLOT
VERY QUICKLY.
- HOW QUICKLY? - THAT QUICK ENOUGH FOR YOU?
GAUZE. TAPE.
ALL RIGHT, NOW WE WRAP AND VELCRO THE TROUSERS.
HERE WE GO.
ABDOMINAL BELT. GOOD.
OKAY, INFLATE.
[pants inflating]
CAREFUL NOT TO PUNCTURE THE SUIT WITH ANYTHING SHARP.
WE DON'T HAVE A BACKUP.
- OKAY, PRESSURE'S STOPPED DROPPING.
70 OVER PALP. - OKAY, IT'S WORKING.
SLOW DOWN THE FLUIDS.
150 CCs PER HOUR AND FOUR MORE OF MORPHINE.
- HOW LONG WILL THIS THING KEEP HIM STABLE FOR?
- LET'S NOT FIND OUT. - ALL RIGHT.
- HI, THERE. COULD YOU GRAB THIS CORNER?
ALL RIGHT, GUYS, LET'S GET HIM IN THERE.
THIS IS ALL THE HELP YOU COULD SCARE UP?
WHERE'S EVERYONE ELSE?
- SEALING OFF MONTAUK HIGHWAY FOR US.
- READY TO GO, DOC. - NICE.
[sirens blaring]
- COMING THROUGH.
- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
- IT'S AN EMERGENCY, DR. BLAIR.
- UNTANGLE THESE, PLEASE. - AND YOU WOULD BE DR. LAWSON.
- I AM. AND YOU ARE...?
- AMONGST MY OTHER DUTIES,
I AM NOW ACTING CHIEF OF EMERGENCY SERVICES.
SO I'LL TAKE IT FROM HERE. - PERFECT.
JUST PULL THE PLUGS TO DEFLATE.
OH, AND MAKE SURE YOU DON'T MISS ANY BLEEDING VESSELS
DURING EMBOLIZATION
OTHERWISE YOU'LL BE PULLING THE PLUG
ON MORE THAN JUST THE SUIT.
HE'S ALL YOURS.
- MAYBE YOU'D BETTER COME WITH US.
- MAYBE I'D BETTER. - GREAT.
- LET'S GO, GUYS. MOVE IT. - CAREFUL, CAREFUL, CAREFUL.
- NICE JOB BACK THERE.
- YEAH? YOU TOO.
- DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM?
- ABOUT SPENCER?
- EDDIE R.
- UGH. IT'S JUST-- IT'S COMPLICATED FAMILY STUFF.
- YEAH? WHAT WOULD I KNOW ABOUT THAT?
- ALL RIGHT.
[exhales] I STARTED TALKING TO MY DAD AGAIN
ABOUT A YEAR AGO.
HE CALLED ME ON MY 30TH BIRTHDAY.
AND I HADN'T TALKED TO HIM IN 20 YEARS, MIND YOU.
KNOW WHAT THE FIRST THING HE SAID TO ME WAS?
- WHAT? - "HOW'S HANK?"
- I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT. - YEAH.
THAT'S JUST HOW HE'S STARTED EVERY CONVERSATION SINCE.
"HOW'S HANK?"
[exhales]
HMM.
I GUESS I REALLY NEEDED TO TELL SOMEONE THAT.
- IT SAYS A LOT ABOUT YOUR FATHER.
- YEAH, IT SAYS A LOT ABOUT MY BROTHER.
- BUT IT SAYS THE MOST ABOUT YOU.
- YEAH? WHAT DOES IT SAY EXACTLY?
- THAT YOU'RE CAUGHT BETWEEN YOUR ROCK AND YOUR HARD PLACE.
[sighs]
AND RATHER THAN JUST TRYING TO SQUIRM OUT,
YOU'VE BEEN TRYING TO MAKE EVERYTHING FIT TOGETHER
COMFORTABLY AGAIN.
- I GUESS I REALLY NEEDED SOMEONE TO TELL ME THAT.
- WELL, DON'T LET IT GO TO YOUR HEAD.
- I'M--WHAT? [chuckles]
[cell phone chimes]
HOW FAST CAN YOU GET ME BACK TO CHANGE?
I HAVE AN IMPORTANT MEETING WITH A YOUNG HEIRESS.
- IT'S NICE TO HAVE YOU BACK. - WELL, YOU KNOW...
- AM I GONNA BE OKAY? - YEAH.
AND NOT JUST IN THE SHORT TERM.
I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT.
ONE OF THE CHEMICALS
JILL FOUND IN YOUR DAD'S LAB WAS MERCURY.
THAT'S WHY HE HAD ALL THOSE OLD THERMOSTATS
LYING AROUND.
HE PROBABLY USED THE MERCURY TO MANIPULATE THE GOLD
FOR SOME OF HIS EXPERIMENTS.
- HE WAS BUILDING A NEXT GENERATION ROBOT
OPERATED BY THE INTERNET.
- WHICH SOUNDS INCREDIBLY COOL.
UNFORTUNATELY, WHEN INHALED IN LARGE DOSES,
OVER LONG PERIODS OF TIME,
MERCURY CAN CAUSE PSYCHOSIS.
AND KIDNEY FAILURE.
- SO IT WASN'T THE MENTAL ILLNESS
THAT SENT MY DAD INTO THAT ROOM?
- NO. IT WAS THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
THAT'S WHY HE GREW INCREASINGLY PARANOID AND DISTANT.
AND IN SMALLER DOSES,
EXPOSURE CAN LEAD TO HEADACHES, FATIGUE, TINGLING SENSATIONS,
SLEEPLESSNESS, AND...
INCOORDINATION.
- OR IN LAYMAN'S TERMS, SPAZ-TICITY.
- YES. SPAZ-TICITY.
- SO I REALLY AM GONNA BE OKAY? - YEAH.
AS LONG AS YOU HIRE A CONTRACTOR
FOR ALL FUTURE RENOVATION.
- YES, DOCTOR.
- SO I CAN CONTACT DR. CASSERAS.
- YOU CAN GIVE IT YOUR BEST SHOT.
- OKAY.
- IF YOU REACH HER,
TELL HER, WHEN I LOOK AT THE ROSES,
I THINK OF CRISTOBAL SQUARE.
SHE'LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.
HANK.
BYE.
- OH, I...I REALLY HOPE SHE'S GOOD TO YOU.
- I'M SURE SHE WILL BE.
- I WAS TALKING TO THE CAR.
BYE.
- WHAT'S WITH THE JOHNNY CASH FASHION TRIBUTE?
- I'M IN MOURNING, HENRIETTA.
I JUST SOLD THE ONLY VALUABLE THING I'VE EVER OWNED.
- AW. WELL, LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE,
SINCE YOU GOT IT FOR FREE, YOU CASHED OUT AT 100% PROFIT.
- ONE COULD ARGUE THAT I TIMED THE MARKET PERFECTLY THEN.
- ONE COULD INDEED.
ONE COULD ALSO ARGUE YOU'VE BEGUN TO REPENT
FOR YOUR SIN.
- HA. I DON'T KNOW, I THINK SIN IS A SLIGHT EXAGGERATION.
- REALLY? I THINK IT'S AN UNDERSTATEMENT.
- SHALL WE AGREE TO DISAGREE?
- LIKE WE ALWAYS DO.
- SO IS SPENCER THE SPAZ GONNA BE ALL RIGHT OR WHAT?
- YEAH. TURNS OUT NOT SO SPASTIC AFTER ALL.
YEAH, THE PROBLEM WAS MERCURY POISONING.
- I THOUGHT IT WAS THAT GIANT DOOR
SLICING INTO HIM LIKE A PINATA.
- NO, I MEANT--NEVER MIND. GO DEEP.
DEEPER. - LIKE OLD TIMES. ALL RIGHT.
- DEEPER!
- HEY, KIDDO. LOOK AT YOU.
WHAT?
ALL RIGHT, SO IT TOOK A LITTLE LONGER THAN I THOUGHT.
STILL THE SAME SHADE OF GREEN, HUH?
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