- PREVIOUSLY ON ROYAL PAINS...
- YOU LET A BILLIONAIRE HOSPITAL TRUSTEE
DIE TO SAVE SOME KID OFF THE STREET.
- I MADE A JUDGMENT CALL. - YOU MADE A MISTAKE.
- WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL HANK THAT YOU'RE
DOING SHIFTS AT THE HOSPITAL?
- I WAS GOING TO...
BUT THEN I THOUGHT, "WHY BURDEN HIM?"
- ERIC, PLEASE MEET EVERYONE.
DIVYA, JILL, HANK, AND EVAN.
THIS IS ERIC KASSABIAN.
- MOM!
[gasps] OH, MY GOD.
- WHAT HAPPENED? - SOMEONE'S HAD A FALL.
- MY HUSBAND'S CAMPAIGN IS VERY IMPORTANT TO HIM.
WINNING WILL MAKE HIM HAPPY.
- WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU FELT HAPPY?
- LATELY, HER DEPRESSION SEEMS TO HAVE DEEPENED.
- HANKS SAW MRS. COLLINS? HE TREATED HER?
- HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW THIS?
- I'M BOUND BY DOCTOR/PATIENT CONFIDENTIALITY.
- DO NOT PULL THAT DOCTOR CRAP.
I'M YOUR BROTHER!
YOU RUINED IT!
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, LAWSON?
- I'M HERE BECAUSE I WANT TO HELP YOUR WIFE.
- SHE'S DOES NEED YOUR HELP.
- DADDY, THE LATEST POLL
HAS YOU WITHIN FIVE POINTS OF CRAWFORD.
- YEAH, FIVE POINTS OF CRAWFORD
BOUGHT WITH HOLLYWOOD'S MONEY.
- AND WE'LL BUY 'EM BACK TONIGHT
WITH A WHOLE LOT OF WALL STREET'S.
- YEAH. I LOVE IT WHEN HE TALKS LIKE THAT.
- OKAY, DO YOU WANNA GO OVER THE SCHEDULE?
- YEAH, LET'S SEE, UH...
RADIO TOUR TODAY.
FUNDRAISER TONIGHT.
BOOK SIGNING TOMORROW.
SWEETHEART...
YOU WANT TO, UH,
COME INTO THE CITY FOR THE BOOK SIGNING?
- OH, HONEY, I DON'T THINK SO.
- IT MIGHT BE... GOOD FOR YOU.
- WHY DON'T I GO ON MOM'S BEHALF?
- BE NICE TO HAVE YOU THERE.
WHY DON'T YOU COME ALONG TOO?
- WHO, ME?
HOW WAS LONDON?
- SAINT MARTINS BLEW MY MIND.
- REALLY?
A BUNCH OF KIDS?
- STUDENTS. I'M TELLING YOU THAT--
- INSTITUTIONS ARE THE FUTURE OF ART.
- OH, I'VE SAID THAT BEFORE?
- YEAH, ONCE OR TWICE.
- PLUS, I'M OBSESSED WITH THE BRITISH ACCENT.
[cockney accent] MAKE ME FEEL SMARTER.
- WELL, ERIC, IF YOU'RE NOT HAPPY TO BE HOME,
YOU WILL BE IN A MINUTE.
- IS SHE HERE?
- INSTALLED AND READY FOR UNVEILING.
WELL, ALMOST. THE LIGHTING'S IN,
BUT THE CURTAIN'S STILL ON MANUAL.
[sighs] MEGAN...
IT'S A BIG MOMENT FOR ME.
- YEAH, I KNOW.
AND YOU WANT TO ENJOY IT ALONE.
- CALL YOU WHEN THE MOMENT'S OVER?
[beep beep] - [computer voice] LIGHTS ON.
OW.
[grunts]
UHH!
- MORNING.
- HEY! NOW WE'RE ONLY ONE HANKMED MEMBER
SHORT OF A STAFF MEETING.
- I THINK THAT WE MAY REMAIN SHORT.
THIS WAS HANGING ON THE FRONT DOOR.
EITHER BORIS'S BABY IS PUNKING US,
OR THAT'S EVAN'S HANDWRITING.
- WELL, IF YOU CAME BY TO HANG THE SIGN,
HE DIDN'T STOP IN TO SAY HELLO.
- OH, THE CORPORATE INTRIGUE CONTINUES.
- HE'S STILL PISSED AT ME FOR KEEPING HIM IN THE DARK
ABOUT PAIGE'S MOM.
- IT'S A TOUGH ONE.
FOR BOTH OF YOU.
- YEAH, AND I STILL FEEL AWFUL ABOUT IT.
I MEAN, WE'VE NEVER KEPT SECRETS FROM EACH OTHER.
- EVENTUALLY, EVAN IS GONNA SEE
THAT YOU WERE ONLY TRYING TO HELP A FAMILY IN NEED.
HE CAN'T BLAME YOU FOR THAT.
LISTEN, SOMETIMES...
SOMETIMES, SECRETS ARE NECESSARY.
- HMM.
I GOT A CALL FROM RAINA SALUJA.
- YEAH, YEAH. NEW PATIENT.
RECURRING TONSILLITIS.
- YEAH, I SCHEDULED HER FOR SURGERY TOMORROW.
- OH, YEAH, I SAW THAT IN HER CHART.
DOES SHE NEED HER RECORDS SENT TO THE HOSPITAL?
- SHE NEEDS A RIDE TO THE HOSPITAL.
EVAN SCHEDULED THAT PART.
AND I THINK SHE NEEDS TO MAKE A STOP ON THE WAY.
PICK UP A FEW THINGS.
- [yawns] - THEN GO HOME
AND GET SOME REST.
- YEAH.
ALL RIGHT, HANK... [phone ringing]
- YEAH, THIS IS HANK.
UH-HUH.
YEAH.
OKAY.
- AND THAT'S IT.
AS A DIABETIC, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO KEEP A CLOSE EYE
ON THIS WOUND.
YOU'RE GONNA FEEL A LITTLE PRICK.
- POOR CIRCULATION.
SLOW HEALING.
POSSIBLE INFECTION.
AND ALL THE PERKS.
- 95, NORMAL FASTING GLUCOSE LEVEL.
SO TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED.
- YOU WANT THE LONG VERSION?
- THE LONGER THE BETTER.
- SO I OPENED THE CURTAIN AND FAINTED.
- CAN YOU REPEAT THAT... SLOWLY?
- IT ALL STARTED WHEN I WAS UNVEILING THE PAINTING
AND, UH, THREW MY BACK OUT.
HEY, DO YOU WANT TO SEE HER?
- WHO? - ISABELLA.
SHE'S...BREATHTAKING.
- YEAH, SURE.
- WOW.
IT'S VERY IMPRESSIVE.
- YEAH, SHE...
SHE IS.
- YOU OKAY?
- NO.
[The Blue Van's Independence]
♪
- ♪ MY INDEPENDENCE WENT AWAY
♪ I DIDN'T LISTEN WHEN IT SAID ♪
♪ RELY ON YOURSELF
♪ TRUSTING SOMEONE ELSE
♪ IS A PATH FOR THE SILENT GHOST ♪
- OKAY, YOU CAN GET UP NOW.
[Velcro ripping]
- THIS EEG WILL RULE OUT A SEIZURE.
- A HYPOGLYCEMIC SEIZURE?
- HYPOGLYCEMIC SEIZURES DON'T SHOW UP ON AN EEG.
I'M CONSIDERING A TYPE OF EPILEPSY.
BUT, YES, IT COULD BE DIABETES-RELATED, TOO,
IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE ASKING.
- A.K.A., A PROGRESSION OF MY DISEASE.
- YOUR VISUAL SYMPTOMS COULD INDICATE
RETINOPATHY,
A KNOWN COMPLICATION.
- I CHASED THAT PAINTING AROUND THE WORLD
FOR 15 YEARS...
IF I GO BLIND...
THEN I DON'T GET TO LOOK AT IT AGAIN,
AT ANY OF MY ART AGAIN.
- ERIC, YOU'RE TAKING A BIG LEAP THERE.
- ONCE THIS DISEASE GOES BAD,
IT GOES BAD PRETTY QUICKLY.
- OKAY, UM, WANT YOU TO LOOK STRAIGHT AHEAD FOR ME.
OKAY.
WELL, I DON'T SEE ANY HEMORRHAGES.
ANY, UH, BLURRY VISION OR SPOTS LATELY?
- NO. - GOOD, OKAY.
I'M GONNA HAVE YOU SEE AN OPHTHALMOLOGIST
AT HAMPTONS HERITAGE FOR A RETINAL EXAM,
JUST TO BE SAFE.
AND, WHILE YOU'RE THERE,
I WANT YOU TO GET AN MRI OF YOUR BACK.
- AN MRI?
- YOU COULD HAVE A RADICULOPATHY--
OR PINCHED NERVE-- FROM PULLING THAT CURTAIN OPEN.
OR IT COULD BE A NEUROPATHY, COMMON AMONG DIABETICS
WITH DECREASED BLOOD FLOW TO SPINAL NERVES.
- OH, WONDERFUL. A NEW PERK.
DELIGHTFUL.
[chuckles]
- OKAY, PLEASE JUST... NOT HERE.
I NEED HALF A WINDSHIELD.
- I LEFT MY NINE IRON BEHIND, OKAY?
- OKAY. GOOD.
SO, WHAT?
DID I DO SOMETHING ELSE WRONG?
- YOU DID PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING WRONG, HANK.
- OKAY. - EXCEPT FOR ONE THING.
- AND WHAT'S THAT?
- [sighs] ELLEN.
SHE'S DEFINITELY NOT WELL.
SO YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT THAT PART.
- YEAH.
- MEANWHILE, THE GENERAL JUST CHARGES AHEAD AND...
PAIGE HOLDS IT ALL TOGETHER.
- WHAT ABOUT THE PRESCRIPTION I LEFT?
AND THE APPOINTMENT I MADE FOR HER WITH DR. CHRISSY?
- ELLEN'S TRIED EVERY DRUG.
SHE'S TRIED EVERY TYPE OF COUNSELING THERE IS, BASICALLY.
IF SHE'S GONNA TRY TREATMENT AGAIN,
IT'S GOTTA BE SOMETHING NEW. - RIGHT.
- SHE NEEDS HOPE.
LIKE REAL HOPE.
- I HAPPEN TO HAVE AN OLD FRIEND
WHO SPECIALIZES IN THAT AREA.
I'LL MAKE AN APPOINTMENT TO GO SEE HER.
- GREAT. WHERE DOES SHE PRACTICE?
- BROOKLYN HEIGHTS MERCY HOSPITAL.
- YOU SURE YOU WANNA SHOW UP THERE?
YOU SURE YOU EVEN CAN SHOW UP THERE?
- I GUESS WE'LL FIND OUT.
- [grunts]
ARE YOU SURE THAT YOU NEED THIS MUCH STUFF
FOR ONE NIGHT IN THE HOSPITAL?
- WELL... AS A PUBLIC FIGURE.
I'M USED TO A CERTAIN LEVEL OF COMFORT.
- YES.
[grunts]
YES, I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU'VE BEEN
IN A FEW BOLLYWOOD FILMS.
- UM, HEH, A FEW DOZEN.
I CAME HERE LAST YEAR TO INTRODUCE MYSELF
TO BROADWAY.
DIVERSIFY MY FOLLOWING.
AND THEN THESE RECURRING THROAT INFECTIONS HAPPENED,
AND...EVERY AUDITION HAS BEEN A DISASTER.
- I THOUGHT HARDLY ANYONE
ACTUALLY SANG THEIR OWN SONGS IN BOLLYWOOD.
- YES, HARDLY ANYONE BUT ME.
THAT'S HOW I MADE MY NAME.
NOW, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE IT ALL OVER AGAIN.
- [grunts]
[squeaky toy squeaks]
[sighs] - GOOD.
- OKAY.
THE HOSPITAL'S ADMITTING PROCESS
WILL BE A BREEZE AFTER THIS.
- PROCESS?
I THOUGHT THE WHOLE POINT OF CONCIERGE MEDICINE
WAS TO AVOID THE PROCESS.
YOU KNOW WHAT, SHOULD WE JUST CALL HANK?
- THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY.
I ASSURE YOU, RAINA,
I WILL HAVE YOU AND YOUR STEAMER TRUNK
SQUARED AWAY IN NO TIME.
- HMM.
[cell phone ringing]
OH. HOLD ON, PLEASE.
HEY. WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?
- UCK!
I'M IN THE CITY, TRYING TO PARK.
[beep]
YOU KNOW, IN THE HAMPTONS,
PEOPLE LEAVE YOU MORE THAN TWO INCHES
BETWEEN BUMPERS.
- WHAT'S IN THE CITY?
- MY SUCCESSOR.
AT LEAST, I THINK SO.
I JUST NEED TO CONVINCE HIM.
- WELL, GOOD LUCK TRYING TO REPLACE YOURSELF.
- MM, THANKS, DIVYA.
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?
- I AM CHAUFFEURING A PATIENT TO THE HOSPITAL.
- PERFECT.
I NEED TO ASK A FAVOR.
WE'RE SHORT-STAFFED TONIGHT, AND I WAS HOPING THAT--
- OH, OF COURSE I'LL TAKE AN EXTRA SHIFT.
- THANKS, THANKS A LOT.
- YOU KNOW I NEED THE MONEY ANYWAY.
- I'LL KEEP ASKING YOU FOR AS MANY FAVORS AS I CAN.
[Raina blares horn]
- GOOD LUCK...
TO THE BOTH OF US.
- HELLO THERE.
- HEY, HANK. COME IN.
- HEY, ABBY.
- HI.
- THANK YOU FOR SQUEEZING ME IN.
YOU GOT A VERY CROWDED WAITING ROOM OUT THERE.
- WELL, TIMES ARE TOUGH,
SO BUSINESS IS GOOD.
- RIGHT.
- SIT DOWN. HOW ARE YOU DOING?
- I'M DOING GREAT. DOING GREAT.
HOW 'BOUT YOU?
- FINE...BUT LET'S KEEP THIS ON YOU.
- UH, OKAY.
- YOU KNOW, I HAVE TO SAY,
I WAS SURPRISED TO SEE YOUR NAME ON MY SCHEDULE.
IT MUST HAVE TAKEN A LOT OF COURAGE
FOR YOU TO COME HERE.
- OH, WELL, YOU KNOW, I WOULDN'T LET PRIDE
STAND IN THE WAY OF ASKING FOR HELP.
- WELL, LET'S START ANYWHERE YOU'D LIKE.
- UH, ABBY...
- YES.
- ARE YOU UNDER THE IMPRESSION
THAT I CAME TO SEE YOU AS A PATIENT?
- WELL...
WITH EVERYTHING YOU WENT THROUGH...
- OH, GOD.
- I DON'T KNOW.
YOU SEEMED VERY ANXIOUS ON THE PHONE.
- YEAH, I'VE GOT A LOT ON MY MIND.
BUT I RECOVERED JUST FINE FROM ALL I WENT THROUGH.
THANK YOU.
- SO IF YOU'RE NOT HERE TO TALK ABOUT YOURSELF...
- I, UM, I HAVE A PATIENT WHO MAY BE A GOOD CANDIDATE
FOR RTMS.
FEMALE, EARLY 50s.
HISTORY OF DEPRESSION.
SHE'S TRIED SEVERAL MEDS,
BUT NONE WITH LONG-TERM EFFICACY.
- SHE'S NOT RIGHT FOR IT.
- OH.
REALLY?
'CAUSE I READ A FEW STUDIES
THAT CALLED RTMS A PROMISING
AND NON-INVASIVE METHOD OF HYPER-POLARIZATION.
- YOU'RE STILL VERY THOROUGH, HANK.
ALMOST ANNOYINGLY SO.
- [chuckles]
DAMN, I REALLY AIM FOR IRRITATION.
- FIRST OF ALL, RTMS IS MORE EFFECTIVE
EARLIER IN THE COURSE OF TREATMENT,
AND IT'S A MORE VIABLE ALTERNATIVE
FOR PATIENTS WHO HAVE ONLY FAILED A SINGLE DRUG REGIMEN.
- OKAY.
ANY OTHER IDEAS?
ABBY...
THIS WOMAN IS DESPERATE.
- [sighs]
TELL ME MORE ABOUT THIS ELLEN COLLINS.
- YOU PAGED ME?
- RILEY, MEET DIVYA.
SHE WORKS FOR ME. - [mouth full] HI.
- HE SAYS, "HI, BIG FAN OF YOUR BOSS."
- WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM, DOCTOR?
- LOCKJAW.
THE NEW $8.00 BURGER AT TODDY B'S.
THE SIZE OF A SMART CAR.
SCHEDULE HIM FOR ORAL SURGERY.
- YOU COULD RELOCATE IT MANUALLY.
- EVEN A SHOT OF MIDAZOLAM CAN BREAK THE MUSCLE SPASMS.
CAN YOU HANDLE THE LABS AND THE EKG FOR ME?
- OF COURSE.
BUT FIRST, COULD I SUGGEST AN ALTERNATIVE?
IT MAY PREVENT THE USE OF INTUBATION
AND PARALYZING AGENTS.
- I'M LISTENING.
- I READ ABOUT THIS IN A BRITISH PEER-REVIEW JOURNAL.
IT'S WORTH A SHOT.
- SO YOUR THOUGHT LEADERS IN THE FIELD OF DENTISTRY
ARE THE BRITS?
- RILEY.
I'M GOING TO GENTLY WEDGE THESE
BETWEEN YOUR UPPER AND LOWER TEETH.
THEN I WILL PERIODICALLY ADD MORE,
FURTHER OPENING YOUR JAW,
UNTIL THE MUSCLES RELAX, HOPEFULLY.
TRUST ME, IT BEATS SURGERY.
- SOUNDS LIKE IT'S WORTH A SHOT.
GET TO IT, KATDARE.
I'LL GO TALK TO THE PARENTS. [cell phone ringing]
- I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, RILEY.
[chatter and upbeat music]
- UH...ERIC?
ARE YOU OKAY?
- MEMORIZING ISABELLA.
IF I LOSE MY VISION,
I DON'T WANT TO LOSE WHAT MATTERS MOST TO ME.
- WELL, ERIC...
YOUR EEG WAS NEGATIVE.
AND THE OPHTHALMOLOGIST YOU SAW
FOUND NO INDICATION OF RETINOPATHY.
- YEAH, BUT THEY FOUND NO EXPLANATION
FOR WHAT I WAS SEEING EITHER.
- AND NEITHER HAVE I, YET.
BUT LET'S GO ONE STEP AT A TIME HERE.
- AND WHAT IS THE NEXT STEP?
- WELL, THE MRI DID CONFIRM THAT YOUR BACK PAIN
IS FROM A RADICULOPATHY.
- I'M HAVING A REALLY DIFFICULT TIME
TAKING THAT WORD SERIOUSLY.
- [chuckles]
IT'S, UH, IT'S NOT LIFE-THREATENING,
BUT BECAUSE OF YOUR DIABETES,
YOU'LL HAVE TO GO TO HAMPTONS HERITAGE
FOR THE STEROID TREATMENT.
- THAT'S IT?
- FOR NOW.
THAT'S IT.
SO HOW'D YOU GET SO INTO ART IN THE FIRST PLACE?
- ELAINA MINATOLY.
- I'M NOT FAMILIAR WITH HER WORK.
- I'M GLAD, 'CAUSE SHE WAS MY COLLEGE GIRLFRIEND.
- OH. HEH. OKAY.
- I CHASED HER FOR FOUR YEARS,
AND FINALLY WON HER OVER HER SENIOR YEAR.
ONCE WE GRADUATED,
SHE WENT TO STUDY IN FLORENCE.
I CHASED HER THERE TOO.
YOU CAN GUESS HOW THAT ONE ENDED UP FOR ME.
- SHE, UH, SHE BROKE YOUR HEART.
- SHE JUST LEFT ME STANDING THERE.
RIGHT ON THE PONTE VECCHIO.
YOU KNOW, IT WAS THE BEST THING SHE HAD EVER DONE FOR ME.
BECAUSE I FELL IN LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN.
- WITH ART?
- MANY TIMES,
FROM PAINTINGS TO SCULPTURES TO...
MURALS AND FRESCOS.
EVERY ONE OF THEM, BREATHTAKING.
- ERIC, THIS--THIS FEELING OF HAVING YOUR BREATH TAKEN AWAY.
DOES IT HAPPEN OFTEN WHEN YOU LOOK AT GREAT ART?
- WELL, ISN'T THAT THE DEFINITION OF GREAT ART?
SOMETHING THAT SWEEPS YOU OFF YOUR FEET?
MAKES YOU WEAK IN THE KNEES?
AND THEN, ONCE IN A WHILE,
BRINGS YOU TO TEARS.
- FOR COLLECTORS, I'M SURE IT IS.
BUT FOR DOCTORS, THAT'S ACTUALLY
THE DEFINITION OF ANOTHER TERM.
- AND WHAT'S THAT?
- STENDHAL SYNDROME.
IT'S A PSYCHOSOMATIC ILLNESS THAT CAN CAUSE
DIZZINESS, HALLUCINATIONS, AND EVEN FAINTING WHEN,
BELIEVE IT OR NOT,
SOMEONE'S OVERWHELMED
BY THE BEAUTY OF A PIECE OF ART.
- ALL RIGHT. - LOOK, IT'S A THEORY.
THE MIND CAN PLAY VERY POWERFUL TRICKS
WITH THE BODY.
- AND I'VE HEARD STORIES
ABOUT SOME OF THESE PEOPLE.
TOURISTS VISITING THE LOUVRE FOR THE FIRST TIME.
BUT THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING OVERWHELMED
AND BEING MOVED.
WELL, THAT'S MY THEORY.
- OKAY.
WHY DON'T YOU COME BACK AFTER THE PARTY...
SO WE CAN TEST IT.
- SURE. GREAT.
- THANK YOU, DOCTOR.
- OKAY, SEE YOU LATER.
IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
- NOT REMOTELY. WHERE DID YOU GO?
- I WAS RIGHT DOWN...
I WAS RIGHT DOWN THE STREET.
I DO HAVE OTHER PATIENTS RIGHT NOW.
- NOT TODAY. NOT ACCORDING TO THIS.
- WHAT'S THAT?
- HANKMED'S PROMISE TO STAY AT MY SIDE
THROUGHOUT MY HOSPITALIZATION.
- HANK PROMISED THIS TO YOU?
- NO, EDWIN DID.
AND CHARGED ME QUITE A PREMIUM FOR IT.
- I'M SO SORRY, EDWIN?
- THE BUSINESS GUY.
LOTS OF NERVOUS ENERGY.
- YES, EVAN.
- YES, HIM.
- YOU KNOW, SHOULD WE JUST CALL HANK
TO STRAIGHTEN ALL OF THIS OUT?
- THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY.
I HAVE GOT YOU COVERED.
WHATEVER YOU NEED RIGHT NOW.
- THANK YOU.
- SO WHAT DO YOU NEED RIGHT NOW.
- I'M GLAD YOU ASKED.
HERE'S A LIST.
- ALL RIGHT, BABE, YOU'RE UP.
- PARK PLACE. I OWN PARK PLACE!
YOU OWE ME RENT.
- ACTUALLY, UH,
YOU HAD TO MORTGAGE THAT PROPERTY, MY DEAR,
WHICH IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MAKE VANITY INVESTMENTS.
BUT HERE'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO.
I WILL BUY PARK PLACE FROM YOU FOR $300
AND LIFT THE MORTGAGE.
EVERYONE GOES HOME A WINNER.
MY OFFER EXPIRES IN 15 SECONDS.
[meat sizzling]
- LOOKS LIKE YOU NEED THE CASH.
[ice clanking in glass]
- HEY.
- [unenthusiastic] HEY.
HEY, PAIGE.
MRS. COLLINS. - HELLO.
- HANK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- I ASKED HIM TO COME.
HE MET WITH A DOCTOR WHO, UH, BROUGHT UP
A NEW TREATMENT OPTION.
IS YOUR HUSBAND AROUND
TO BE PART OF THE DISCUSSION, MRS. COLLINS?
- HE'S NOT HOME.
HE WOULDN'T WANT TO BE PART OF IT ANYWAY.
- HE THINKS EVERYTHING'S FINE, AS IS.
- YEAH. - OH.
- SO, UH, WHAT DID YOUR DOCTOR FRIEND SAY?
- [sighs]
WELL...OBVIOUSLY,
SHE'D LIKE TO MEET YOU IN PERSON, MRS. COLLINS,
BUT THINKS YOU MAY BE A CANDIDATE FOR E.C.T.
I HAS THE HIGHEST SUCCESS RATE OF ANY TREATMENT SHE USES.
- E.C.T.?
- WE TALKED ABOUT E.C.T. YEARS AGO.
- WHAT--WHAT IS E.C.T.?
- I'M SORRY, HANK, E.C.T.'S NOT FOR US.
- HELLO, I'M NOT HERE JUST TO GRILL CHICKEN
AND BUILD HOUSING EMPIRES.
WHAT--
- EVAN, E.C.T. IS SHOCK THERAPY.
- YOU CAME HERE TO PITCH US SHOCK THERAPY?
- ELECTROCONVULSIVE THERAPY
HAS CHANGED A LOT RECENTLY. - CHANGED HOW?
- WELL, FOR STARTERS, IT'S NOW PAINLESS.
MRS. COLLINS, YOU'D BE ANESTHETIZED
AND MONITORED THROUGHOUT THE PROCEDURE
BY AN EXPERT STAFF.
- HANK WOULD NOT ENDORSE THIS
IF IT WASN'T A GOOD IDEA.
- YOU DON'T HAVE TO DECIDE RIGHT NOW.
JUST GIVE IT SOME THOUGHT.
IF YOU WANT TO MEET DR. BURTON TOMORROW,
I'LL TAKE YOU TO BROOKLYN MYSELF.
LOOK, EVEN IF IT IS STENDHAL,
THERE ARE TREATMENT OPTIONS TO HELP YOU COPE.
- I NEED HELP COPING WITH THIS LIGHTING SYSTEM.
- [computer voice] ON.
- IT COST ME ALMOST AS MUCH AS THE PAINTING.
- [chuckles]
WHY DO YOU NEED IT?
- WELL, IT'S HARMLESS,
UNLIKE UV AND INFRARED,
AND THE CURTAIN IS FOR DUST AND DEBRIS.
- HMM.
- PAINTINGS ARE AS FRAGILE AS HUMANS, DOC.
AND, UH, HARDER TO REPAIR.
- I'M GLAD I CHOSE THE RIGHT CALLING.
- YEAH. LET ME GET THE CURTAIN.
- ERIC, YOUR BACK.
LET ME HELP YOU.
WHOA. OHH.
OKAY, EASY.
THERE YOU GO.
IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN, DOC.
- SO IT'S NOT THE PAINTING,
IT'S THE LIGHTING THAT'S CAUSING THE SEIZURES?
- I THINK IT'S A PHOTOSENSITIVE REACTION
CALLED REFLEX EPILEPSY.
- WELL, THE LIGHTING, IT DIDN'T COME
WITH THAT WARNING ON THE LABEL.
- IT'S PROBABLY AN IMPERCEPTIBLE FLICKER
FROM A DEFECTIVE BULB.
OKAY, ERIC, THIS IS DR. FROASH.
SHE SPECIALIZES IN ATYPICAL SEIZURES.
SHE'S GONNA INTERPRET THE RESULTS IN REAL TIME.
OKAY, YOU CAN LIE BACK NOW.
I'M GONNA PUT THIS CAP ON YOUR HEAD.
PERFECT.
[electronic bleeping]
OKAY, GOOD TO GO, WENDY?
GREAT.
- OKAY, ERIC...
I'M GONNA TURN YOUR PICTURE LIGHTS
BACK ON NOW.
- [electronic voice] LIGHTS ON.
- ERIC, ARE YOU SEEING AURAS?
- YEAH, BIG TIME.
- WENDY.
- BILATERAL, HIGH-AMPLITUDE, PERIODIC SPIKES.
BRAIN WAVE PATTERN SHOWS PRE-SEIZURE ACTIVITY.
- OKAY. - [electronic voice] LIGHTS OFF.
- WAVE COMPLEXES ARE DROPPING.
- ERIC, TELL ME WHAT'S HAPPENING.
- IT'S SLOWING DOWN.
AND, UH...
IT'S...
OVER.
- THANK YOU, WENDY.
- MY PLEASURE, HANK.
BEST OF LUCK TO MR. KASSABIAN.
- [grunts softly]
[groans]
OKAY, SO I'M ALLERGIC TO HIGH-END LIGHTING?
- I'M GUESSING IT'S JUST STROBE LIGHTING
YOUR BRAIN DOESN'T LIKE.
- WHAT NOW? - TWO OPTIONS:
YOU CAN GO ON AN ANTI-SEIZURE MEDICINE CALLED DEPAKOTE.
- OR...
- YOU CAN CHANGE THE BULB.
- [chuckles] OKAY.
WELL, NO OFFENSE, DOC,
BUT I'D RATHER DEAL WITH AN ELECTRICIAN
THAN A DOCTOR.
- UNFORTUNATELY, WE STILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR...
- OH, THAT RIDICULOUS...
- YEAH, LET'S JUST CALL IT A PINCHED NERVE.
I'M SCHEDULING YOU FOR A STEROID INJECTION
AT THE HOSPITAL TOMORROW.
I'D DO IT MYSELF, BUT A DIRECT SPINAL INJECTION
REQUIRES HOSPITAL PRECAUTIONS.
THE GOOD NEWS IS...
ISABELLA DIDN'T CAUSE ANY OF THIS.
[upbeat music]
♪
- WOW, THAT'S A LOT OF TONGUE DEPRESSORS.
- ENOUGH TO DO THE TRICK, PRESUMABLY.
- YOU THINK HE'S GOOD TO GO?
- MM, LET'S FIND OUT.
- OKAY.
RILEY, I AM GONNA REST MY THUMBS
ON YOUR LOWER MOLARS.
AND CURVE MY OTHER FINGERS
AROUND THE OUTSIDE OF YOUR JAWBONE.
NOW I'M GONNA PUSH DOWN... - [groaning]
- AND BACKWARD
TO MOVE THE CONDYLES OF THE MANDIBLE
BACK INTO THE MANDIBULAR FOSSA.
- HEY, DR. VAN DYKE, BE CAREFUL NOT TO--
- OW! OOH!
COVER HIS EARS, QUICKLY.
OHH, SON OF A BITCH!
- DUDE, I HEARD THAT.
- AH, RILEY, YOU JUST REGAINED THE ABILITY TO SPEAK.
THAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU WANNA SAY?
- NO, IT'S NOT.
THANK YOU, DIVYA.
- HEY.
- HOW'S ELLEN?
- SHE'S WILLING TO SEE THE DOCTOR
AND HEAR ABOUT THE E.C.T. THING.
PAIGE CONVINCED HER.
- THAT'S REALLY GOOD NEWS, EVAN, FOR EVERYONE.
- YEP, PAIGE SAID SHE TRUSTS ME
AND THAT I TRUST YOU.
APPARENTLY, THAT WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ELLEN.
- OKAY.
WHAT DOES THE GENERAL THINK?
- PAIGE WAS AFRAID TO FIND OUT.
SO...WE'RE NOT LOOPING HIM IN JUST YET.
- OKAY, I'LL TAKE ELLEN AND PAIGE
TO SEE DR. BURTON, AND SHE'LL EXPLAIN
THE WHOLE PROCEDURE TO THEM.
- COOL.
- BUT MR. KASSABIAN IS DIABETIC, SO--
- NO ORAL OR IV STEROIDS. YEAH, YEAH.
- DIRECT NERVE INJECTION ONLY.
- DR. LAWSON, DESPITE MY BOYISH GOOD LOOKS,
THIS ISN'T MY FIRST DAY PLAYING DOCTOR.
- IT ISN'T MINE, EITHER,
WHICH IS WHY I DOUBLE CHECK THE IMPORTANT STUFF.
- WE WILL SEND HIM BACK TO YOU
JUST THE WAY WE FOUND HIM.
I PROMISE.
- [sighs]
I SEE THAT YOU HAVE EVERYTHING THAT YOU NEED.
- I HAVE EVERYTHING I'VE ASKED FOR.
- IT IS NORMAL TO FEEL AFRAID BEFORE SURGERY.
BUT IT'LL GO FINE.
- I'M SURE IT WILL.
IT'S WHAT HAPPENS NEXT
THAT SCARES ME.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
- WELL...
WHAT IF I'M HEALTHY,
AND I STILL CAN'T GET HIRED HERE?
AND I CAN'T BLAME MY THROAT, ONLY MY VOICE.
- OKAY, TO BE HONEST,
I'M NOT FAMILIAR WITH YOUR WORK.
BUT I'M SURE THAT YOU ARE VERY GOOD AT WHAT YOU DO.
AND I AM SURE THAT THERE ARE PLENTY OF PEOPLE HERE
WAITING TO NOTICE.
[marching band playing]
♪
- GENERAL, SIR.
I STILL CANNOT BELIEVE THEY GAVE YOU THE INTREPID.
YOU MUST HAVE MANY, MANY KILLS TO YOUR NAME.
- WHERE'S PAIGE?
- SHE IS RUNNING A LITTLE LATE.
- DID SHE CLEARLY EXPLAIN YOUR ROLE?
- SHE DID, SIR.
AND I AM, UH, MORE THAN READY
TO MEET, GREET, AND PASS ALONG, SIR.
- [grunts]
- YES, SIR. GOOD.
VERY GOOD.
ALL RIGHT, SO...
ARE YOU READY TO MEET THE GENERAL?
all: YES! - OH, COME ON.
ARE YOU READY TO MEET THE GENERAL?
all: YEAH! - LET'S DO THIS.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU'RE ABOUT TO MEET
OUR FUTURE SENATOR.
HI, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
MAGGIE, VERY GOOD. COME OVER HERE, MAGGIE.
- THIS IS JIM. TWO TOURS IN IRAQ.
PLEASURE TO MEET YOU. I'M EVAN.
THIS IS TERESA. JUST GOT BACK FROM AFGHANISTAN.
- TERESA, HOW ARE YOU?
- THIS IS OLIVER.
BRONZE STAR AWARDEE.
- I'M PLEASED TO MEET YOU, SIR. - I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.
- CAN YOU GIVE ME THE NAME OF THE GYM YOU WORK OUT IN?
WHAT BRANCH OF SERVICE? OKAY, NEVER MIND.
[upbeat music]
WATER? WATER, GUYS? ANYONE WANT A WATER?
♪
HI. HOW ARE YOU?
THANK YOU, SIR.
I'M PARCHED.
[gags] MM!
MMM. [gulp]
[coughs]
GOD, I THOUGHT THAT WAS WATER. [coughs]
- WELL, SCOTCH HAS SOME WATER.
- YOU TRYING TO KILL ME, SIR?
[coughs]
AGAIN?
- NO.
I'M TRYING TO THANK YOU.
THIS WAS A BIG SUCCESS.
AND YOU WERE SURPRISINGLY COMPETENT.
- THANK YOU, SIR.
- WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?
WITH MY DAUGHTER.
I DON'T RECALL MY STAFF SENDING YOU AN INVITE,
DR. LAWSON.
- HE DROVE US IN.
ME AND MOM.
- YOUR WIFE IS AT BROOKLYN HEIGHTS MERCY HOSPITAL.
GETTING PREPPED FOR E.C.T.
- AND NOW HE'S BEEN LOOPED IN.
- SHE DOESN'T NEED THAT TREATMENT.
- SIR...SHE DOES.
- YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HER!
- DADDY...
I HAVE SPENT TOO LONG
STANDING IN FOR HER AT PHOTO OPS...
AND DINNERS AND BOOK SIGNINGS.
TOO LONG PROTECTING YOU FROM THE TRUTH.
NOW IT'S TIME TO PROTECT MOM!
LET HANK DO THAT.
- KATDARE, YOU'RE OFF THE CLOCK?
- I'M BETWEEN PATIENTS AT THE MOMENT.
- GREAT, RADICULOPATHY, ROOM FOUR.
- MR. KASSABIAN, I HAVE YOUR STEROID TREATMENT HERE.
- RIGHT, THANKS.
HAVE WE MET BEFORE?
- I DON'T BELIEVE SO.
RADICULOPATHY, HUH?
THAT CAN BE... QUITE PAINFUL.
- YEAH, AND YOU GUYS NEED TO COME UP
WITH A MORE PAINFUL-SOUNDING NAME FOR IT.
- I'LL MENTION THAT AT THE NEXT MEETING.
- [chuckles]
YOU SURE WE HAVEN'T MET?
- HAVE YOU BEEN HERE BEFORE?
- MM, NO.
- THEN I'M PRETTY CERTAIN.
OH, AND, UH, I'LL GET YOU A PRESCRIPTION
FOR SOME ORAL STEROIDS AS WELL.
- THANKS.
[boat horn blows]
- I'LL ADMIT SHE'S HAD HER BAD DAYS.
- I KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO FACE THE TRUTH,
BUT WE'RE DEALING WITH MORE THAN BAD DAYS HERE.
THIS IS LONG-TERM CLINICAL DEPRESSION.
IT'S REAL, IT'S SEVERE,
AND IT REQUIRES MEDICAL ATTENTION.
- LISTEN HERE, YOUNG MAN.
I DON'T NEED TO BE LECTURED ABOUT WHAT'S REAL.
I'M TRYING TO PROTECT THE WOMAN I LOVE
FROM YET ANOTHER DISAPPOINTMENT.
BECAUSE EVERY ONE IS WORSE THAN THE ONE BEFORE IT.
FOR ALL OF US.
- AND THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES.
BUT, IN MY OPINION,
THIS IS WORTH A SHOT.
IF SHE HAS FAMILY SUPPORT.
YOU BEING AT HER SIDE MAY BE THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN THIS TREATMENT SUCCEEDING
AND IT BEING... JUST ONE MORE GOOD TRY.
- I JUST WISH YOUR FAMILY
WOULD STAY OUT OF MY FAMILY'S LIFE.
- SIR...
- SORBETS, SMOOTHIES, AND LOTS OF FAGE.
- I'LL ALERT THE STAFF RIGHT NOW.
- THANK YOU.
AND FAGE TOTAL 0%.
- OF COURSE, OF COURSE.
AND HERE IS SOMETHING ELSE TO HELP YOU THROUGH THIS.
- YOUR iPOD?
- MY iPOD.
YOUR MUSIC.
- YOU DOWNLOADED ONE OF MY SONGS?
- I DOWNLOADED ALL OF THEM.
AND I LIKED EVERY, SINGLE ONE.
NOW THAT I AM FAMILIAR WITH YOUR WORK,
I KNOW THAT YOU'RE GOOD AT WHAT YOU DO.
YOU'RE GONNA DO GREAT, RAINA.
IN HERE AND OUT THERE.
- I'M SORRY IF I WAS A LITTLE HIGH MAINTENANCE.
- YOU? PLEASE.
- I'M NOT YOUR BIGGEST HEADACHE?
- HMM.
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THE HALF OF IT.
- HEY. - OH. HEY!
- NEED SOME COFFEE?
- NO, JUST SLEEP.
BUT I'M ALMOST THERE.
- THANKS AGAIN FOR TAKING THE SHIFT.
- OH, OF COURSE. HOW WAS THE CITY?
- WELL, THE CANDIDATE'S PERFECT.
AND HE CAN START ANY TIME.
- WELL, THAT'S GREAT.
YOU'LL BE BACK IN URUGUAY BEFORE YOU KNOW IT.
- YEAH.
- WASN'T THAT WHAT YOU WANTED?
- IT IS, IT'S JUST...
REAL NOW.
- HEY, ELLEN...
I'D LIKE TO START COUNTING BACKWARDS FROM TEN.
- OKAY.
TEN.
NINE.
- IT'S GONNA BE OKAY.
- THEY'RE GIVING YOUR MOM SUCCINYLCHOLINE.
IT'S A PARALYTIC AGENT USED TO INDUCE
MUSCLE RELAXATION.
DR. BURTON IS APPLYING CONDUCTING GEL
TO THE ELECTRODES.
NOW SHE'S ATTACHING THE ELECTRODES
TO HER TEMPLES.
OKAY.
NOW THEY'RE GONNA USE THAT BLACK BOX
TO PASS ELECTRIC CURRENTS THROUGH YOUR MOM'S BRAIN.
IT SHOULD INDUCE A CONTROLLED SEIZURE,
WHICH ALTERS HER CHEMISTRY
AND HOPEFULLY RESOLVES HER SYMPTOMS.
- HERE WE GO.
[pop ballad]
♪
- OKAY. OKAY.
SHE TOOK WELL TO IT.
- OHH. - THAT'S GOOD SIGN.
- YOU'RE RIGHT, HANK.
E.C.D. IS NOT WHAT IT USED TO BE.
- [chuckles]
WELL...
- HEY.
- [sighs]
SO I'M SORRY ABOUT YOUR WINDSHIELD.
- I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT THE WINDSHIELD.
- WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT US, EITHER.
- I DON'T.
- THANK YOU FOR HELPING PAIGE'S MOM.
- EVAN... WE DID IT TOGETHER.
- I WAS PRETTY INSTRUMENTAL. YOU'RE RIGHT.
- I'M GLAD HANKMED IS BACK AT FULL FORCE.
- WELL, 2/3 OF OUR FULL FORCE IS STANDING RIGHT HERE.
WHO'S MINDING THE STORE?
- DON'T WORRY, DIVYA'S KEEPING AN EYE ON THE HAMPTONS.
- ALL RIGHT, WHY DON'T YOU GO
GET HER EXCITED ABOUT MY RETURN.
- I WANT IT.
[doorbell rings]
- ERIC?
ERIC?
ERIC!
ERIC, CAN YOU HEAR ME?
ERIC!
YEAH, THIS IS DR. LAWSON.
I'M AT 1 CAYNE COURT WITH A 35-YEAR-OLD MALE
IN ACUTE DIABETIC KETOACIDOSIS.
HE WAS MISTAKENLY GIVEN ORAL STEROIDS.
HE'S TACHYCARDIC AND UNRESPONSIVE.
I'M INTUBATING, GIVING 500ccs OF SALINE
AND CHECKING HIS GLUCOSE LEVEL.
Captioning by Brian atCaptionMax www.captionmax.com