- PREVIOUSLY ON ROYAL PAINS...
- WHEN ARE YOU GOING BACK TO URUGUAY?
- I AM GOING TO TELL THE HOSPITAL TOMORROW
AND HELP THEM FIND AND TRAIN A REPLACEMENT.
- PAIGE COLLINS, WILL YOU MARRY ME?
- YES!
SO WHEN DID YOU ASK MY DAD?
- I DON'T WANT TO MARRY HIM.
I WANT TO MARRY YOU.
- LOOK, IT'S BAD ENOUGH MY DAUGHTER'S IN LOVE WITH YA.
BUT CAN'T ALL THIS JUST WAIT UNTIL
AFTER THE CAMPAIGN IS OVER?
- I HAVE SPENT TOO LONG STANDING IN FOR HER AT PHOTO OPS,
AND DINNERS, AND BOOK SIGNINGS.
NOW IT'S TIME TO PROTECT MOM.
- WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL HANK THAT YOU'RE DOING SHIFTS
AT THE HOSPITAL?
- I WAS GOING TO, BUT THEN I THOUGHT,
"WHY BURDEN HIM?"
[yawns]
- THEN GO HOME AND GET SOME REST.
- OF COURSE I'LL TAKE AN EXTRA SHIFT.
- MR. KASSABIAN IS DIABETIC SO--
- NO ORAL OR I.V. STEROIDS. YEAH, YEAH.
WE WILL SEND HIM BACK TO YOU
JUST THE WAY WE FOUND HIM.
- I HAVE YOUR STEROID TREATMENT HERE.
- GREAT, THANKS.
- I'LL GET YOU A PRESCRIPTION
FOR SOME ORAL STEROIDS AS WELL.
- ERIC!
- YEAH, THIS IS DR. LAWSON, I'M AT 1 CAYNE COURT
WITH A 35-YEAR-OLD MALE IN ACUTE DIABETIC KETOACIDOSIS.
HE WAS MISTAKENLY GIVEN ORAL STEROIDS.
HE'S TACHYCARDIC AND UNRESPONSIVE.
I'M INTUBATING, GIVING 500 CCs OF SALINE
AND CHECKING HIS GLUCOSE LEVEL.
THIS IS GONNA HURT, ERIC.
- [grunts]
- THERE YOU ARE. - YEAH, SORRY I'M LATE.
- IT'S OKAY.
YOUR LATTE FOAM MAY BE A BIT PETRIFIED,
BUT I AM FINE.
- GOOD, SOMEBODY OUGHTA BE.
- UH-OH.
YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT IT?
- [sighs] NO.
THERAPY'S A CROCK.
YOU KNOW HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE YOU ON A JOURNEY TO YOU?
IT'S NOT. IT'S YOU ON A JOURNEY
TO WHAT YOUR THERAPIST THINKS OF YOU.
- I DON'T KNOW--
- I MEAN SHE THINKS I'M USING AN INCOMPLETE RELATIONSHIP
WITH HANK TO TETHER MYSELF HERE,
THEREBY SUBCONSCIOUSLY SABOTAGING MY JOB IN URUGUAY.
- SHE SAID THAT?
- BASICALLY.
- WHAT DID SHE SAY?
- SHE ASKED ME IF I EVER LET MY PERSONAL LIFE INTERFERE
WITH MY PROFESSIONAL LIFE.
GOD...
SHE'S RIGHT, ISN'T SHE?
- YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT FOR ME--
- I MEAN, I CAN'T DENY IT.
I FOUND AN AMAZING REPLACEMENT,
I'VE GOT MY DREAM JOB IN URUGUAY JUST SITTING THERE,
AND YET... I'M STILL SITTING HERE.
WHY? - WELL, MAYBE YOU'RE--
- I HAVE TO END IT.
MAYBE I DO.
MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
- ABOUT? - HANK.
I HAVE TO BREAK UP WITH HIM.
AND SOONER RATHER THAN LATER.
OTHERWISE, I AM JUST LEADING HIM ON.
LEADING US ON, AND...
IT'S NOT RIGHT.
THANK YOU FOR TALKING ME THROUGH THAT.
- WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR?
[phone rings] - OH!
JILL CASEY.
- DIABETIC IN ACUTE D.K.A.,
G.C.S. 13, INTUBATED IN THE FIELD,
RAN FLUIDS WIDE OPEN--
- DR. LAWSON, WHAT DO WE GOT HERE?
- FOR YOU? NOTHING. GO AHEAD.
- WHOA, HEY, SAME TEAM. GOOD GUYS, REMEMBER?
- YOU KNOW WHAT I REMEMBER?
BRIEFING YOU SPECIFICALLY ON THAT PATIENT,
YET HERE HE IS AGAIN.
- WHAT, YOU'RE TELLING ME SOMEONE LANDED IN THE E.R.
FOR A SECOND TIME?
ALLOW ME TO ALERT THE MEDIA.
- GO AHEAD, LAUGH IT UP.
IF HE DIES, IT'S YOUR ASS.
- [laughing] OKAY, CALM DOWN.
YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE AN ANEURYSM.
- YOU'RE RIGHT, THAT'D RISK GETTING YOU AS MY DOCTOR.
- ALL RIGHT, OUTTA MY WAY.
- NOT UNTIL YOU PROMISE TO STAY AWAY FROM MY PATIENT.
- HE STOPPED BEING YOUR PATIENT
WHEN HE CAME THROUGH THOSE DOORS.
NOW MOVE IT, HOUSECALL.
- LIKE HELL I WILL. - HEY, HEY, HEY.
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
- HE GAVE ORAL STEROIDS TO A DIABETIC
AND PUT THE MAN IN A COMA.
- YOU'RE INSANE. - YOU'RE INCOMPETENT.
- OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH. BOTH OF YOU.
THIS IS A HOSPITAL. YOU WANNA FIGHT?
YOU TAKE IT TO AN IRISH PUB WHERE FIGHTS BELONG.
DR. VAN DYKE, I AM SURE YOU HAVE PATIENTS TO SEE.
AND DR. LAWSON, IF YOU HAVE A COMPLAINT,
I'LL ACCEPT IT IN WRITING.
DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?
- YEP. - GOOD.
LISTEN, HANK,
IF THERE IS A PROBLEM, I WILL FIND IT
AND I WILL DEAL WITH IT.
BUT YOU CANNOT COME IN HERE
ACCUSING OUR DOCTORS OF INCOMPETENCE.
NOT UNLESS YOU HAVE ANY PROOF.
- YEAH? WELL, I GOT A WHOLE BOTTLE.
[The Blue Van's Independence]
♪
- ♪ MY INDEPENDENCE WENT AWAY
♪ I DIDN'T LISTEN WHEN IT SAID ♪
♪ RELY ON YOURSELF
♪ TRUSTING SOMEONE ELSE
♪ IS A PATH FOR THE SILENT GHOST ♪
- [sighs]
- DID HE DIE?
- NO, NO.
HE'S--HE'S STABILIZED, BUT STILL IN A COMA.
- THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO, HANK.
- THAT'S WHY I'M FRUSTRATED, EVAN.
'CAUSE ONCE HE PASSED INTO THAT E.R.,
HE STOPPED BEING ERIC KASSABIAN.
HE JUST BECAME ROOM NUMBER FOUR.
AND ALL ANYONE CARED ABOUT WAS MOVING THE MEAT.
- "MOVING THE MEAT"?
- [sighs] PATIENTS.
IN THE E.R., PATIENTS ARE "THE MEAT."
DOCTORS THERE AREN'T EXACTLY KNOWN FOR THEIR SENSITIVITY.
- HUH.
YEAR AND A HALF AGO, YOU WERE ONE OF THOSE DOCTORS.
YOU KINDA CROSSED OVER TO THE OTHER SIDE, HMM?
- YEAH.
YEAH, I GUESS I HAVE.
- CAN I ASK YOUR OPINION ON SOMETHING MUCH LESS IMPORTANT?
- PLEASE.
BE GOOD TO GET MY MIND OFF LIFE-AND-DEATH STUFF.
- ACTUALLY IT'S ABOUT ME AND THE GENERAL GOLFING,
SO DEATH'S NOT COMPLETELY OFF THE TABLE.
UM, PINK OR YELLOW?
- HMM...
YELLOW. - THANK YOU!
SO, PINK IT IS. - WHAT?
- ALL RIGHT!
SO, WHERE ARE YOU OFF TO ANYWAY?
- OH, I GOT A DESPERATE CALL FROM A PARTY PLANNER
COORDINATING SOME INSANELY ELABORATE
AND ELABORATELY INSANE EVENT TOMORROW.
- TOMORROW? AND IT'S INSANE AND ELABORATE?
DUDE, THAT MUST BE "A FAREWELL TO BARNES."
- IT MUST BE A FARE-WHAT TO WHERE NOW?
- GREGG AND AUDREY BARNES, PHILANTHROPIST COUPLE
SLASH HIGH-END GARDEN STORE ENTREPRENEURS,
ARE THROWING THE DIVORCE PARTY TO END ALL DIVORCE PARTIES.
- A DIVORCE PARTY?
THAT SOUNDS LUDICROUS EVEN FOR THE HAMPTONS.
- NO, IT'S COOL, THEY'RE TAKING ALL THE MONEY
THAT WOULD HAVE GONE TO LAWYERS, AND THEY'RE PUTTING IT
INTO ONE FINAL BLOWOUT.
- OH, OKAY, LESS LUDICROUS. MARGINALLY.
- YEAH, IT'S THE EVENT OF THE SUMMER.
DUDE, YOU GOTTA GET ME ON THE LIST.
- UH, CAN'T PAIGE GET YOU ON THE LIST?
MIGHT BE A NICE BREAK FOR HER.
- NO, I CAN'T GO THROUGH LIFE AS PAIGE'S PLUS-ONE.
COME ON, MAN, SOMETIMES I NEED TO BRING SOMETHING TO THE PARTY.
AND IN THIS CASE... [laughs]
I CAN BRING A PARTY TO THE PARTY.
- UH, YEAH, I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.
- REALLY? - NO.
- HEY. - HEY.
- YOU GOT SOMETHING AGAINST ERIC KASSABIAN?
- NO, WHY?
- BECAUSE YOU GAVE HIM I.V. AND ORAL STEROIDS
AND HE'S A DIABETIC.
SENT HIM INTO D.K.A. - WHAT?
THAT--THAT WOULD'VE BEEN ON HIS CHART.
I WOULD'VE SEEN IT.
- [clears throat]
- OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD. IS HE--
- STABLE, BUT IN THE I.C.U.
- I DON'T SEE HOW I COULD HAVE MISSED THIS.
- WELL, NEITHER DOES JILL CASEY.
NOT THAT SHE KNOWS IT WAS YOU. - YOU DIDN'T TELL HER?
- I SAID I COULDN'T REMEMBER WHO I HAD ADMINISTER THE DRUGS.
I ALSO NEGLECTED TO MENTION THAT I GAVE YOU MY CODE NUMBER
TO GET 'EM FROM THE AUTO-DISPENSER.
NOW, SHE'S GONNA FIGURE IT OUT EVENTUALLY,
BUT I THOUGHT WE COULD USE SOME TIME TO TALK.
WHEN IS YOUR SHIFT OVER?
- I JUST CAME ON. I--
- OKAY. OKAY.
WELL, I SUGGEST YOU GO HOME SICK AND JUST LIE LOW FOR A WHILE,
OKAY?
AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT,
CROSS YOUR FINGERS, LIGHT A CANDLE, PRAY--
WHATEVER YOU THINK WILL HELP KASSABIAN WAKE UP,
ALL RIGHT?
THAT'S NOT THE WAY OUT, KATDARE.
- DR. LAWSON!
OH, THANK GOD YOU ARE HERE.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU FOR COMING.
I'M DYING.
- UH, WOW, YOU LOOK PRETTY GOOD FOR DYING.
- NO, JUST--[laughs] EMOTIONALLY DYING.
PHYSICALLY, I THINK I JUST HAVE FOOD POISONING
FROM ALL THE CATERING SAMPLES. - HMM.
- ONLY, IT'S NOT "JUST."
IT'S A CATASTROPHE.
THE BARNESES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE GOING OUT IN STYLE,
NOT IN A MAD DASH TO THE BATHROOM.
- OH, OKAY.
WELL, UH, HAVE YOU HAD ANY DIARRHEA OR VOMITING?
- JUST A UPSET STOMACH AND, UM, SOME CRAMPING,
BUT I KNOW I HAVE FOOD POISONING,
BECAUSE I WAS FINE UNTIL I HAD THE OYSTERS.
OR MAYBE IT WAS THE SPOT PRAWNS OR THE BISON TARTARE.
OOH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT COULD HAVE BEEN THE WILD CHANTERELLES,
THE FOIE GRAS LOLLIPOPS,
THE BILLIONAIRE'S RISOTTO--
- SLOW DOWN.
ARE YOU SAYING YOU'VE EATEN ALL OF THIS?
- YEAH. OF COURSE.
N.U.G., HANK. N.U.G.
- NUG?
- "NO UNHAPPY GUESTS."
- RIGHT. - [laughs] YEAH.
WHICH MEANS I NEVER SERVE FOOD THAT
I HAVEN'T FIRST TASTED MYSELF.
- HAS ANYONE ELSE SAMPLED THE FOOD?
- YEAH. YEAH. YEAH.
A LOT OF THE GUYS SETTING UP.
YOU KNOW, BETTER THAN LETTING IT GO TO WASTE.
WELL, EXCEPT FOR THE WHOLE, YOU KNOW, FOOD POISONING PART.
- RIGHT. HAVE ANY OF THEM HAD SYMPTOMS?
- I REALLY COULDN'T SAY.
- OKAY.
UM, EXCUSE ME, YOUR ATTENTION, EVERYONE.
HI, MY NAME IS DR. LAWSON.
UH, IF ANY OF YOU HAVE HAD ANY SORT OF VOMITING OR DIARRHEA,
IT'S IMPORTANT THAT YOU COME SEE ME NOW, OKAY?
THANK YOU.
- I BET YOU WALK INTO A BAR, YOU COULD GET A DATE OR TWO
WITH THAT LINE.
[both laugh] - 'SCUSE ME, DOC.
- HI. - HI.
- HANK LAWSON. - DONNY SHAUGHNESSY.
- NICE TO MEET YOU, DONNY. SO WHEN DID YOUR SYMPTOMS START?
- UH, I GUESS I WAS PROBABLY ABOUT EIGHT.
I WAS AT CONEY ISLAND.
MY BROTHER TALKED ME INTO GOING ON THAT CYCLONE.
RIGHT BEFORE THE BOTTOM OF THE SECOND DROP,
JUST LOST IT.
BOTH ENDS.
- OKAY.
AND, UH, HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
- IT'S ALL GOOD.
- GREAT.
I GUESS THAT'S IT. THANKS, DONNY.
- SURE.
HEY, DO YOU MIND IF I--
- NO, GO AHEAD. ENJOY.
- THANKS.
THANKS, DOC.
- I SUPPOSE I COULD'VE BEEN A LITTLE CLEARER.
- OH, DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP TOO MUCH.
- SO, LUCY, YOUR SYMPTOMS AND THEIR LACK OF SYMPTOMS
DOESN'T SAY FOOD POISONING TO ME.
- WHAT DOES IT SAY?
- OVEREATING,
AND A PARTY PLANNER ON A DEADLINE.
- [sighs] OKAY, WHAT IF YOU'RE WRONG?
- DON'T WORRY, I'LL BE SURE TO FOLLOW UP.
IN THE MEANTIME, IF YOU START HAVING ANY, UH,
CONEY ISLAND-STYLE SYMPTOMS,
MAKE ME YOUR FIRST CALL.
- SECOND.
THE FIRST WILL BE TO A NEW CATERER.
[laughter] - OF COURSE.
ALL RIGHT.
- [sighs]
- HEY, GOOD MORNING.
HI, I'M EVAN R. LAWSON.
I'M THE C.F.O. OF HANKMED.
I'M FILLING IN FOR MRS. COLLINS.
ON THE GOLF COURSE, OBVIOUSLY, NOT IN--NOT FULL-TIME.
- GOOD TO MEET YOU, EVAN. SAM RESNICK.
- IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.
- MR. RESNICK'S AN OLD FAMILY FRIEND,
AND, UH, I HOPE MY NEW CAMPAIGN CHAIRMAN.
- SO I TAKE IT ELLEN GOT A MORE EXCITING OFFER
THAN WATCHING ME CURSE AND BREAK MY CLUBS IN HALF.
- [laughs]
- WELL, I'M AFRAID, UH, SHE'S NOT FEELING WELL.
- WISH HER A SPEEDY RECOVERY FOR ME, WILL YA?
- I WILL.
THE THING IS, SAM, UM...
ELLEN'S BEING TREATED FOR A--A MOOD DISORDER.
SHE'S STRUGGLED WITH DEPRESSION FOR--
FOR SOME TIME NOW.
- I'M SO SORRY, BILL, I--
- WELL, THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT SHE'S RESPONDING REALLY,
REALLY WELL TO THE TREATMENT.
LIKE REALLY, REALLY, REALLY WELL.
- WELL, OF COURSE SHE IS.
ELLEN'S A STRONG WOMAN.
- YES, SHE IS.
- GENERAL COLLINS!
MY APOLOGIES KEEPING YOU WAITING, SIR.
JACK O'MALLEY, PRO YOU'RE PLAYING WITH TODAY.
- MR. O'MALLEY, MR. SAM RESNICK.
- IT'S AN HONOR, SIR.
- AND EVAN R. LAWSON, C.F.O. OF HANKMED.
- IT--
HANKMED? HANKMED?
HANK LAWSON HANKMED?
- YEAH, THAT'S MY BROTHER. - WHAT DO YA KNOW?
HE, UH, FIXED UP MY HANDS LAST SUMMER,
DID A BANG-UP JOB.
NEVER MENTIONED YOU.
- YEAH, THAT'S MY BROTHER.
- [laughs] - HMM.
HOW DO YOU GUYS ALL KNOW EACH OTHER?
- THROUGH ME. SAM AND I GO WAY BACK,
AND EVAN'S ENGAGED TO MY DAUGHTER PAIGE.
- WELL, CONGRATULATIONS.
- YEAH.
- SHALL WE GOLF?
- UM, NOT TO CORRECT YOU OR ANYTHING,
BUT, PER YOUR REQUEST, PAIGE AND I,
WE'RE NOT GONNA GET ENGAGED UNTIL AFTER THE CAMPAIGN.
- HEY, YOU KNOW, I'VE, UH, I'VE GIVEN THAT SOME THOUGHT.
YOU AND PAIGE MAKE IT OFFICIAL WHENEVER YOU'RE READY.
I GIVE YOU MY BLESSING.
- HELLO? - LUCY, IT'S HANK LAWSON.
JUST CHECKING TO SEE HOW YOU'RE FEELING.
- OH, WORKING AWAY.
BUT NO TRIPS TO CONEY ISLAND YET.
- [laughs] GOOD, GOOD.
- OH, SHOOT, I HAVE ANOTHER CALL.
CAN YOU HANG ON ONE SECOND?
I-I'LL BE QUICK. - YEAH, SURE.
- OKAY. - OH.
HELLO? - HEY, IT'S JILL.
IS THIS A GOOD TIME TO TALK?
- I GOT A PATIENT ON THE OTHER LINE,
BUT IT SHOULDN'T TAKE LONG.
CAN YOU HANG ON A SEC?
- SURE.
- HANK, ARE YOU THERE?
- UH, YEAH, SORRY ABOUT THAT.
SO, YOU WERE SAYING?
- OH!
OH! THE CAKE! - LUCY?
- IT'S RUINED. I-I'M RUINED.
[breathing heavily]
- LUCY, ARE YOU OKAY?
- HANK, I-I DON'T KNOW. I'M--
MY--MY FINGERS DON'T FEEL RIGHT.
THEY'RE ALL TINGLY.
- UH, I'M ON MY WAY. - OKAY.
- I'M BEGGING YOU, OKAY?
THIS IS AN EMERGENCY.
THE EXACT SAME CAKE.
NAME YOUR PRICE.
[exclaims] THAT'S A BIG NAME!
DO YOU HAVE NOTHING SMALLER, YOU KNOW, LIKE A--
LIKE A NICKNAME?
MAYBE A MONIKER?
OH, JUST FORGET IT!
WELL, SILVER LINING:
IF I AM DYING, IT DOVETAILS NICELY
WITH THE DAY I'M HAVING.
- YOU'RE NOT DYING, OKAY?
BUT YOUR SYMPTOMS ARE PRETTY NONSPECIFIC
SO I CAN'T SAY WHAT ISGOING ON, YET.
NOW, WHAT ABOUT THE PARTY TOMORROW?
IS THERE AN ASSISTANT WHO CAN COVER FOR YOU?
- [whispering] I AM THE ASSISTANT, HANK.
DON'T TELL THE BARNESES, OKAY? - OKAY.
- BUT, FIVE DAYS AGO, MY BOSS WAS FLOWN
TO THE SEYCHELLES BY SOME BAHRAINIAN SULTAN
TO DO A WEDDING THAT MAKES THIS THING LOOK LIKE
A LAST-MINUTE GET-TOGETHER.
- WHOA. - YEAH.
SO IF I PULL THIS OFF, I'M A HERO.
BUT IF NOT, I'M DONE FOR.
N.U.G., HANK. N.U.G.
- OKAY, I GET IT.
I GET IT.
OPEN FOR ME, PLEASE.
- AHH.
- ALL RIGHT, SINCE I LAST SAW YOU,
WHAT HAVE YOU EATEN?
- WHY? WHAT'S IN MY TEETH?
- NO, NOTHING.
UM, WERE YOU SAMPLING THE CAKE?
- OFF--OFF THE GROUND? NO.
NO, IT WAS THERE FOR MORE THAN THREE SECONDS.
- OKAY, THEN THAT'S NOT ICING IN THE CORNERS OF YOUR MOUTH.
IT'S THRUSH.
I'LL PRESCRIBE AN ORAL NYSTATIN.
- WAIT A MINUTE.
IF I GET SICK DURING THE PARTY, H-H-HOW FAST CAN YOU GET HERE?
- UH, WELL, I DRIVE A SAAB, NOT AN AMBULANCE,
BUT I CAN GET HERE PRETTY QUICK.
- [gasps] WAIT! I KNOW! YOU CAN COME TO THE PARTY.
NOT AS A DOCTOR, OF COURSE, AS A GUEST.
UNLESS I GET SICK, THEN, IN WHICH CASE, AS A DOCTOR.
PLEASE?
UM, YOU CAN HAVE A PLUS-ONE.
- CAN I HAVE A PLUS-MORE-THAN-ONE?
- SURE! - OKAY.
- SO YOU'RE MORMON?
- HEY. - HEY.
- THOUGHT YOU WERE IN PEDIATRICS TODAY?
- I AM. I AM.
UH, I-IT'S-- IT'S MY LUNCH BREAK.
- OH, OKAY.
AND, UH, YOU'RE SPENDING IT HERE BECAUSE?
[sighs]
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO GAVE HIM THE I.V.
- I'M SORRY, JILL.
I KEEP GOING THROUGH HIS CHARTS OVER AND OVER AGAIN
TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW I COULD HAVE MISSED IT,
AND--AND I CAN'T.
I CAN'T BECAUSE IT'S THERE IN BLACK AND WHITE.
[monitor beeps]
MR. KASSABIAN! MR. KASSABIAN!
TRY NOT TO TALK.
YOU'RE IN A HOSPITAL.
YOU'RE INTUBATED.
[intercom buzzes] - NURSE MARNIE.
- MR. KASSABIAN'S AWAKE.
- WE'LL BE RIGHT IN.
- DIVYA.
- IF I CAN GET SOMEONE TO COVER ME IN PEDIATRICS,
I-I WOULD LIKE TO BE HERE.
- I'M SORRY, DIVYA, I CAN'T DO THAT.
- JILL, I THINK IT'S REALLY-- - I KNOW.
OKAY? I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE FEELING.
AND AGAIN, I AM SORRY.
BUT, DIVYA, UNTIL THIS INVESTIGATION'S COMPLETE,
I HAVE TO PUT YOU ON LEAVE.
EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY.
- THURSDAY NIGHT? NOPE, CAN'T DO IT.
35 GRAND A PLATE?
[sighs]
FINE, I'LL BE THERE.
CALL LATER.
- UM, SORRY, GENERAL, I COULDN'T HELP BUT OVERHEAR.
I'M--I'M SURE YOU FORGOT, BUT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE
IN BROOKLYN ON THURSDAY TO RELIEVE PAIGE.
- SON, THE CAMPAIGN ISN'T A 9:00-TO-5:00 JOB.
PLACES I HAVE TO BE AT KEEP ME HOPPING FASTER
THAN A JACKRABBIT IN A CABBAGE PATCH.
- YEAH, I GET IT.
- YOU DON'T, BUT YOU WILL.
MY PRESS SECRETARY'S E-MAILING YOU A CALENDAR
OF EVENTS YOU AND PAIGE NEED TO BE AT.
YOU DO, UH, OWN SOME CLOTHES THAT AREN'T PINK?
- YEAH, UM...
SIR, I'M SORRY, YOU CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS TO PAIGE.
YOU CAN'T.
SHE'S PUT HER WHOLE LIFE ON HOLD FOR YOU, SIR.
YOU SAID YOU'RE GONNA BE IN BROOKLYN ON THURSDAY,
YOU SHOULD BE THERE.
- [clears throat]
REMEMBER THAT BLESSING I GAVE YOU?
- YES.
- WITHDRAWN.
- YEAH.
[knock at door]
- HEY. CAN I COME IN?
- ARE YOU HERE TO APOLOGIZE?
- FOR WHAT?
- I DON'T KNOW, BUT APPARENTLY IT'S REQUIRED TO ENTER.
- OH. [laughs] NOT YET, NO.
- I'VE HAD THE ADMINISTRATOR, THE HEAD OF THE E.R.,
THE LEGAL TEAM--
YOU NAME IT, THEY'RE SORRY.
- YEAH. WELL, I'M SURE YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THEIR CONCERN.
- YEAH.
THEY DON'T WANT TO GET SUED.
- UH, I WAS GONNA SAY YOUR HEALTH, BUT...YEAH.
THEY DON'T WANT TO GET SUED.
- I'M NOT THE LITIGIOUS TYPE,
BUT LET'S FACE IT.
IF YOU HADN'T SHOWN UP WHEN YOU DID,
WE WOULD NOT BE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION.
- NO. WE WOULDN'T.
- AND IT'S NOT LIKE I NEED THE MONEY,
BUT THERE'S ALSO THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING.
SOMEONE SCREWED UP.
- [sighs] - YOU'RE NOT SAYING ANYTHING.
- NO. I'M NOT.
- BECAUSE YOU DISAGREE WITH ME?
- NO. NO.
BECAUSE, ONCE UPON A TIME, I WAS THE DOCTOR
WHO GOT BLAMED FOR A SCREW UP.
- YOU? HANK, YOU'RE A GREAT DOCTOR.
- THANKS. I TRY, BUT I'M NOT PERFECT.
NO ONE IS.
THE BOTTOM LINE IS:
IF YOU SUE, IT SHOULDN'T BE ABOUT THE MONEY.
IT SHOULD BE ABOUT MAKING SURE WHOEVER DID THIS
LEARNS FROM THEIR MISTAKE.
- CHEERS. - CHEERS.
- AND, UH, SORRY ABOUT...YOU KNOW.
- IT'S OKAY.
WAIT, IS "YOU KNOW" THREATENING VAN DYKE
OR IS "YOU KNOW" NOT COMING BACK ON THE PHONE
AFTER YOU ASKED ME TO-- - OH, MY GOD.
I DIDN'T, DID I?
I DID. I--I APOLOGIZE AGAIN.
- IT'S OKAY.
AGAIN.
[sighs]
LISTEN, HANK, WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT--
- I KNOW, I KNOW.
I WAS JUST SO ANGRY WITH HIM.
- NOT WHERE I WAS GOING WITH THAT.
BUT SINCE WE'RE ON IT, UM...
LOOK, VAN DYKE'S NAME BEING ON THOSE MEDS
DOESN'T NECESSARILY TELL THE WHOLE STORY.
- WELL, SOMEONE MADE A MISTAKE.
- AND YOU NEVER HAVE?
- YEAH, NO, OF COURSE I HAVE. I HAVE.
BUT, I DON'T KNOW, HE'S THE DOCTOR OF RECORD, YOU KNOW?
THE BUCK STOPS WITH HIM.
- NO.
NO, I'M THE ADMINISTRATOR.
THE BUCK STOPS WITH ME.
- OH, REALLY? - YEAH.
- YOU KNOW YOU ARE SEXY WHEN YOU GET ALL
ADMINISTRATOR-Y.
- I AM?
- EXECUTIVE AUTHORITY IS A KNOWN APHRODISIAC.
OKAY.
- [exhales]
LISTEN, HANK--
[knock at door]
- UH, HOLD THAT THOUGHT.
- HANKY PANKY!
- JACK! HEY. OH--
UH, WHAT ARE YOU-- WHAT ARE YOU--
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- OH, SPENDING A COUPLE WEEKS AS A LOCAL PRO BETWEEN--
[clicks tongue] TOURNEYS.
- AND FIGURED YOU'D JUST DROP IN?
- YES, I DID, BECAUSE I MET YOUR BROTHER THIS MORNING.
YOU NEVER MENTIONED YOU HAD A BROTHER.
NICE GUY.
- YEAH, NO, HE IS. HE IS NICE.
YOU COULDN'T CALL FIRST?
- HERE'S THE THING. - YEAH.
- SO, LOOK, I--
LOOK, AFTER YOU FIX UP MY MITTS LAST SUMMER,
I-I JUST HAD THE BEST SEASON OF MY CAREER.
NOW, I GOT THESE SPONSORS,
AND THE SPONSORS WANT ME TO GET A PHYSICAL
TO MAKE SURE I DON'T, YOU KNOW--
DROP DEAD WITH ALL THEIR MONEY.
AND I THOUGHT, "WHO BETTER TO POKE AND PROD ME THAN YOU?"
- [laughs] - HEY, JACK.
- THAT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION.
CASEY!
AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE IN URUGUAY?
- YEAH, I GOT BACK LAST MONTH.
- HOW--HOW--HOW DO YOU--
HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT URUGUAY?
- AH, WE'RE FRIENDS. - OH.
- WELL, FACEBOOK FRIENDS.
- FACEBOOK FRIENDS.
- RIGHT. - YEAH.
SOCIAL NETWORKING, HANKY.
YOU KNOW, WE'RE ALL UP IN EACH OTHER'S BUSINESS
24/7 THESE DAYS, AREN'T WE?
- YES, WE ARE.
- OKAY. OK-- AM I?
both: KIND OF.
- KIND--KIND OF? KIND--
SO SHOULD I...
KIND OF STAY OR KIND OF GO?
- SIT DOWN, MITTS. I'LL GET YOU A GLASS.
- ALL RIGHT.
- OH, THANK YOU.
- [sighs]
- WOW.
- THIS IS STUNNING. - YEAH.
- YEAH, I CAN'T BELIEVE I SCORED US INVITES FOR THIS.
- YOU DIDN'T. HAS ANYONE HEARD FROM DIVYA?
SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO MEET US.
- YEAH, UH, SHE SAID THAT SHE WAS FEELING UNDER THE WEATHER.
- HI, AND WELCOME. MAY I HAVE YOUR NAMES, PLEASE?
- YEAH, LAWSON, EVAN R.
IT WAS FIVE, NOW IT'S THREE.
- PAIGE ISN'T COMING?
- NO. - WHY?
- MAY I USE A GOLF ANALOGY?
I BLEW IT.
- RIGHT. AND THE GOLF PART IS?
- SO I ACCUSE THE GENERAL OF TAKING PAIGE FOR GRANTED.
NOW, NOT ONLY IS MY INVITATION TO JOIN THE FAMILY REVOKED,
BUT I THINK HE'S RETALIATED BY MAKING SURE
THAT SHE DOESN'T SHOW UP TODAY.
AND I'M UPSET ABOUT IT, SO...
JUST DON'T-- DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE.
- I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT, BUT YOUR FOURTH, A MS. COLLINS,
HAS ALREADY ARRIVED.
- I'LL SEE YOU GUYS LATER.
[both laugh]
- THANK YOU.
- HEY, UH, YOU MIND IF I DISAPPEAR FOR A MINUTE?
- NOT AT ALL.
THE, UH, PEOPLE-WATCHING OPPORTUNITIES HERE
WILL KEEP ME VERY ENTERTAINED.
- [laughs] - I'LL CATCH YOU LATER, OKAY?
- ALL RIGHT.
- OH, MY GOD. - HI.
- I'M SO HAPPY YOUR DAD CAME THROUGH.
- OF COURSE HE DID.
WHY DO YOU LOOK SO SURPRISED?
- I'M NOT--I--IT'S JOY.
IT'S--[laughs] PEOPLE OFTEN MISTAKE MY JOY FACE
FOR MY SURPRISED FACE, IT'S QUITE A THING.
I'M JUST-- I'M JUST GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
[both laugh]
- DID YOU BAKE THAT? - [laughs]
YEAH, I STARTED AT MIDNIGHT, AND FINISHED AT 6:00.
- THAT'S AMAZING.
- YEAH, I MEAN, T-T-T-THE FUN IS IN THE DESIGN,
BUT THE LOOKS ON PEOPLE'S FACES WHEN THEY ACTUALLY TASTE IT,
THAT'S WHY I DO IT.
- LUCY, YOUR VOICE IS RASPY.
- OH, YEAH.
UM, BAKING ALL NIGHT, BARKING ORDERS ALL DAY.
[laughs]
BUT I HAVE TO TELL YOU,
PULLING AN ALL-NIGHTER?
I HAVEN'T HAD THAT MUCH FUN IN A LONG TIME.
- THAT'S GREAT. THAT'S GREAT.
AND TODAY, HOW ARE YOU FEELING, OTHER THAN TIRED?
- WELL, TWO OF MY STAFF SHOWED UP HUNGOVER,
WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF ICE,
AND, UH, THE NUMBNESS IN MY HANDS HAS PUT ME
WAY BEHIND SCHEDULE.
- HMM.
- HEY, HOW WERE YOU IN SURGICAL ROTATION?
- UH, WHY? YOU NEED ME TO SCRUB IN?
- WELL, YEAH. KIND OF.
UM, I NEED TO WRITE "THAT'S ALL, FOLKS."
- [laughs] ALL RIGHT, THAT'S FUNNY.
- YEAH. [laughs] ON THE TOP RIGHT HERE.
BUT MY FINGERS ARE NUMB, AND I NEED A STEADY HAND,
LIKE, A-A REALLY STEADY HAND.
- I GUESS YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT DOCTORS AND HANDWRITING.
- YEAH, I DO. AND THAT IS HOW DESPERATE I AM.
[laughs] PLEASE? - UH, OKAY.
- JUST REMEMBER THE N.U.G., HANK.
- RIGHT. OKAY. - N.U.G.
- DEEPLY DIVIDED, WE ARE GATHERED HERE,
IN THE PRESENCE OF OUR LOVED ONES
AND LESS THAN LOVED ONES,
TO DIVIDE GREGG AND AUDREY BARNES
IN PERPETUITY.
DO YOU, GREGG BARNES, GIVE AUDREY BARNES BACK
TO THE DATING POOL?
- I DO.
- AND DO YOU, AUDREY BARNES, RETURN THIS RING TO GREGG BARNES
AS A SYMBOL OF YOUR ETERNAL INDIFFERENCE?
- YOU BET.
- [laughs]
- BY THE POWER VESTED IN ME BY SOME RANDOM WEBSITE,
I KNOW PRONOUNCE YOU EX-HUSBAND AND EX-WIFE.
YOU MAY KISS OTHER PEOPLE!
[applause]
- "FOLKS."
- HANK!
- EXCLAMATION POINT.
- OH! LOOK AT YOU. [laughs]
YOU KNOW, IF THIS WHOLE MEDICINE THING
DOESN'T WORK OUT, YOU MIGHT HAVE A FUTURE IN PASTRY.
- GOOD TO KNOW. GOOD TO KNOW. - MM-HMM.
- SPEAKING OF THE MEDICINE THING, UH, YOUR BLOOD TEST
SHOULD BE BACK SOON.
- OKAY, WELL, IF THEY COME BACK
BEFORE THE END OF THE PARTY, DO NOT TELL ME.
I HAVE ENOUGH TO WORRY ABOUT.
- YOU GOT IT. NO WORRIES.
- [laughs] OKAY. THANK YOU.
- SURE.
- [strained breathing]
[choking]
[breathing heavily]
[playing A Fine Romance]
♪
- ♪ A FINE ROMANCE, WITH NO KISSES ♪
♪ A FINE ROMANCE, MY FRIEND, THIS IS ♪
♪ YOU'RE JUST AS HARD TO LAND AS THE ILE-DE-FRANCE ♪
♪ I HAVEN'T GOT A CHANCE
♪ THIS IS A FINE ROMANCE
♪
- SO, UM, I KINDA HAVE SOME BAD NEWS.
- OKAY.
- THE GENERAL... YOUR FATHER...
DADDY. - DON'T CALL HIM THAT.
- I SHOULDN'T, YOU'RE RIGHT. IT FELT WEIRD COMING OUT.
HE DOESN'T APPROVE OF ME
AS MUCH AS I'D HOPED.
- WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?
- BECAUSE I SPOKE MY MIND TO HIM, FINALLY.
AND HE REALLY DID NOT LIKE MY MIND.
- HMM.
YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT'S HIS PROBLEM.
- EXCUSE ME?
- WHAT HE THINKS OF YOU OR DOESN'T THINK,
WHAT HE APPROVES OF OR DOESN'T APPROVE OF,
WE DON'T CARE ANYMORE.
- WE DON'T? - NO.
AND...I CAN'T WAIT ANYMORE.
- WHAT--
- EVAN R. LAWSON, WILL YOU MARRY ME?
- IN A HEARTBEAT, PAIGE COLLINS.
- I JUST WISH THAT
WE HAD YOUR MOM'S RING
SO YOU COULD PUT IT ON ME.
- REALLY?
- WHAT?
[laughing] HOW?
- I CARRY IT WITH ME WHEREVER I GO.
JUST IN CASE.
- OF ALL THE DIVORCE PARTIES ON GIN LANE I'VE EVER BEEN TO,
THIS IS DEFINITELY MY FAVORITE.
ALMOST MAKES YOU WANNA BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE.
- HANK,
WE GOTTA BREAK UP.
- EXCUSE ME?
- I'M LEAVING.
AND...I LIKE YOU.
NO. NO. THAT-- THAT DOESN'T EVEN COVER IT.
HANK, I AM-- I'M CRAZY ABOUT YOU.
- [laughs]
- OKAY?
AND IT'S MAKING IT REALLY HARD FOR ME TO GO.
- THEN WE GOTTA BREAK UP.
- WE DO?
- YEAH.
I CARE ABOUT YOU WAY TOO MUCH TO WANT TO HOLD YOU BACK.
- WHY IS THIS SO HARD?
- 'CAUSE WHATEVER WE DID, THEN STOPPED DOING,
THEN STARTED DOING AGAIN...
WAS REAL.
IS REAL.
- I COULD COME BACK ONE DAY.
- AND WE'LL ALWAYS HAVE SOUTH HAMPTON.
[big band music continues in background]
♪
- YOU GOT IT. YOU GOT IT.
YOU DID IT!
YAY! BOYS, I'M SO IMPRESSED.
NOW, GO. [laughs]
GOOD.
[exhales]
OH, GOD. OKAY.
OKAY.
DAMN IT! COME ON.
[exhales sharply]
DAMN, LUCY...
[breathing heavily]
- LUCY! ARE YOU OKAY?
- HANK, I--
I THINK I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK.
- JUST--JUST BREATHE, LUCY. SLOW, DEEP.
- I--I CAN'T.
- YES, YOU CAN. JUST BREATHE IN AND OUT.
- MY HEART, IT--IT'S POUNDING.
- LOOK, I DON'T THINK IT'S YOUR HEART,
I THINK YOU'RE HAVING AN ANXIETY ATTACK.
- NO, NO, NO, NO.
I-I DON'T HAVE ANXIETY ATTACKS.
I DON'T PANIC.
I DO NOT. I DON'T--
- IN AND OUT. JUST TRY TO CALM DOWN.
- CALM? C-CALM?
I--LOOK AT ME!
I AM FREAKING OUT.
[crying] I-I CAN'T FUNCTION. I-I--
I CAN'T DO ANYTHING.
IT'S--IT'S--IT'S-- IT'S ALL OVER.
MY CAREER.
THIS PARTY.
MY JOB. MY...
[sobbing] FUTURE.
- LUCY? - WHAT?
- YOU'RE--YOU'RE CRYING, BUT...
- YEAH.
- THERE AREN'T ANY TEARS COMING OUT OF YOUR EYES.
- OH, YEAH.
SOMETIMES THAT HAPPENS. I'M A DRY CRIER.
GOD, I CAN'T EVEN DO THAT RIGHT.
- NOW, LOOK, I KNOW YOU HAVE A DRY MOUTH
BECAUSE OF THE THRUSH, BUT DO YOU EVER HAVE A DRY NOSE?
- UM, YEAH, A LOT. WHY?
- BECAUSE IT'S AN INDICATOR OF SJOGREN'S SYNDROME.
- OH, A SYNDROME.
JESUS, HANK, NOW I HAVE A SYNDROME.
- NO, NO, NO. JUST RELAX, LUCY.
IT MEANS YOUR TEAR GLANDS ARE INFLAMED,
AND THAT REDUCES TEAR PRODUCTION.
HERE, LET ME TRY SOMETHING.
- OKAY, IF YOU'RE TRYING TO CALM ME DOWN,
IT'S REALLY NOT WORKING.
YOU'RE JUST MAKING MY FACE TWITCH.
- WHICH MEANS YOU'RE HYPOCALCEMIC.
LUCY I THINK YOU HAVE CELIAC DISEASE.
- BECAUSE MY CHEEK TWITCHED?
- THAT, THE SJOGREN'S, THE STOMACHACHES, THE NAUSEA...
IT'S YOUR BODY TELLING YOU IT CAN'T TOLERATE GLUTEN,
A PROTEIN FOUND IN WHEAT AND A FEW OTHER GRAINS.
- OKAY, WAIT.
THEN WHY--WHY WOULDN'T I HAVE HAD THIS MY WHOLE LIFE?
- YEAH. SILENT CELIAC CAN PRESENT ATYPICALLY
AND BE TRIGGERED BY STRESS.
I'D LIKE TO GET A SPECIALIST TO DO A BIOPSY TO CONFIRM,
BUT IF YOU HAVE CELIAC, WE'LL FIND YOU A GREAT NUTRITIONIST,
AND YOU SHOULD BE FINE.
- WHAT? THAT--THAT'S IT? - THAT'S IT.
- [laughs]
OH.
- WHAT? WHAT IS IT?
- UM, CAN I LIVE WITH THIS LONG ENOUGH
TO SEE THE CAKE GET CUT AND THE BARNESES
DO WHATEVER PEOPLE DO WITH CAKE
WHEN THEY'RE GETTING DIVORCED?
- SURE.
AS LONG AS THEY DON'T FEED IT TO YOU.
- [laughs]
THANK YOU.
- [sighs]
- WITHOUT BEATING A DEAD HORSE, I AM TRULY SORRY.
- WELL, THAT HORSE HAS BEEN DEAD FOR SO LONG
THAT IT IS NOW DECOMPOSING.
- I HAVE NEVER MADE A MISTAKE LIKE THAT BEFORE,
AND I NEVER WILL AGAIN.
- LOOK, YOU WEREN'T THE ONLY ONE WHO MADE A MISTAKE.
EVER SINCE I WAS DIAGNOSED, I'VE TOLD EVERY
HEALTH PROFESSIONAL I COME IN CONTACT WITH
THAT I WAS A DIABETIC.
AND THIS TIME I DIDN'T.
- MR. KASSABIAN,
THIS IS NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO BEAR.
THIS IS MINE.
I HAVE LEARNED FROM MY MISTAKE.
- DIVYA, I'M NOT SUING.
- THAT IS NOT WHY I SAID THAT.
- I KNOW.
I KNOW.
BUT IT'S ALSO PART OF HOW I'VE REACHED MY DECISION.
IT WAS A MISTAKE.
I'M STILL ALIVE.
ALL IS FORGIVEN.
- THANK YOU.
NOW I JUST HAVE TO FORGIVE MYSELF.
[treadmill beeps]
- DOESN'T THIS THING GO ANY FASTER?
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT'S AN EXPENSIVE PIECE OF EQUIPMENT.
I'D RATHER NOT BREAK IT.
- SO SERIOUS WHEN YOU'RE DOCTORING.
COME ON!
- OKAY, THAT'S IT.
[beeping]
YEAH, YOUR, UH--YOUR HEART SEEMS TO BE DOING WELL.
- FUNNY YOU SHOULD MENTION THAT, YOU KNOW...
THE OTHER NIGHT, DOC, WHEN I WAS HERE,
I COULDN'T HELP BUT FEEL I WAS INTERRUPTING SOMETHING...
PERSONAL.
YOU KNOW, BETWEEN YOU AND JILL.
- PERSONAL?
- DR. LAWSON, ARE YOU AND CASEY SEEING ONE ANOTHER AGAIN?
- JILL AND I? NO.
- IS THAT ALL?
- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. WE WERE, YOU KNOW?
BUT WITH JILL GOING OFF TO URUGUAY IN THREE WEEKS--
- I MEANT WITH THE STRESS TEST.
- OH. YEAH.
OF COURSE YOU DID.
- YEAH?
- GOT A MINUTE?
- OF COURSE. YEAH, COME ON IN.
UH, LOOK, THE REASON YOU HAVEN'T HEARD FROM ME
IS BECAUSE THEY HAVEN'T SCHEDULED YOUR REVIEW YET.
- THAT'S NOT WHY I'M HERE.
- OKAY.
- I WANT TO OFFER MY RESIGNATION.
- DIVYA--
- PLEASE DON'T TRY TO TALK ME OUT OF IT.
- I ACCEPT.
- YOU DO?
- YEAH.
- OF COURSE. OF COURSE YOU DO.
- YEAH.
LOOK... [sighs]
THIS IS FOR THE BEST.
OKAY, LET'S BE HONEST.
THIS WHOLE SITUATION'S BEEN AWKWARD FROM THE START.
- YEAH. - YEAH.
- YES, IT WAS.
- DID HANK SUGGEST YOU DO THIS?
- HANK DOESN'T KNOW THAT I WORK HERE,
WHY WOULD HE SUGGEST THAT I RESIGN?
- YOU DON'T KNOW.
ERIC KASSABIAN?
HE'S A HANKMED PATIENT.
- [laughs]
HANK LAWSON ON THE GOLF COURSE.
THAT CAN ONLY MEAN ONE OF TWO THINGS.
ONE: YOU ARE NOW NO LONGER THE ONLY DOCTOR IN AMERICA
WHO DOES NOT GOLF, OR TWO:
I AM ABOUT TO BE THE LUCKY RECIPIENT
OF A BONA FIDE... CLEAN BILL OF HEALTH.
- I'M NOT HERE TO PLAY GOLF.
- SEE, NOW THAT'S WHAT I WAS HOPING TO HEAR.
- BUT, UNFORTUNATELY,
I WON'T BE ABLE TO SIGN YOUR PAPERWORK...YET.
- UH, DOC, THAT WAS NOT ONE OF THE OPTIONS.
- JACK, YOUR WHITE BLOOD CELL COUNT
CAME BACK SLIGHTLY ABNORMAL.
- ABNORMAL?
LIKE, I'M UNIQUE OR I'M A CASE STUDY?
- I DON'T KNOW.
IT, UH--IT COULD BE A MEANINGLESS VARIATION,
BUT I'D LIKE TO ORDER AN A.N.A TEST,
ANTINUCLEAR ANTIBODIES, TO BE SURE.
NO NEED FOR ALARM. - PLEASE, DOC.
YOU AS MY DOCTOR?
ALARM NEVER ENTERED MY MIND.
HUMDINGER!
- TO THE FUTURE MRS. EVAN R. LAWSON,
AND THE FUTURE MR. PAIGE COLLINS.
- [laughs]
- THAT'S IT? THAT'S THE WHOLE SPEECH?
- THAT'S IT, MY FRIEND.
- THE ONLY ADJECTIVE WE GET IS "FUTURE"?
- OKAY, YOU KNOW ABOUT ME AND PUBLIC SPEAKING, ALL RIGHT?
- PUBLIC? WHAT'S PUBLIC ABOUT-- THERE ARE TWO OF US HERE.
WE GOTTA RETHINK HIM AS MY BEST MAN--
- EVAN. EVAN! - THE SPEECH IS SO--
- DRINK.
THANK YOU.
THIS CAKE IS DELICIOUS.
- I KNOW, AND IT'S GLUTEN-FREE. LUCY BAKED IT.
- HEY, IT'S A GOOD THING DADDY
SENT PLENTY OF THE GOOD STUFF.
- IT'S NICE HAVING DADDY ON BOARD.
- EVAN. - THE GENERAL ON BOARD.
I KNOW, IT FEELS REALLY WEIRD, AND I SHOULD STOP.
- WELL, WHATEVER YOU SAID TO HIM LAST NIGHT ON THE PHONE,
HE WAS IMPRESSED.
AND HAPPY.
WHICH MAKES ME HAPPY.
- WHICH MAKES ME HAPPY.
HAPPY. - HI.
- OKAY, HI.
- [sighs]
TO MY IMPRESSIVE BABY BROTHER
AND HIS BEAUTIFUL BRIDE-TO-BE.
I'VE NEVER SEEN TWO PEOPLE WHO BELONG TOGETHER MORE,
AND I COULDN'T BE PROUDER,
OR HAPPIER.
- NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT.
- THANK YOU.
- I WILL GET SOME MORE BUBBLY.
- OKAY.
- THAT WAS AWESOME.
- HEY! JUST IN TIME.
HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
- FEELING FINE.
- GOOD, STAFF MEETING IS CANCELLED ON ACCOUNT
OF WE ARE CELEBRATING.
THE GENERAL SENT THE BUBBLY,
EDDIE R. AND TED SENT SOME COHIBAS.
- HANK.
HANK!
I NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING.
- OKAY.
SURE.
WHAT'S UP?
- DR. VAN DYKE DIDN'T ADMINISTER THE WRONG MEDICATION
TO MR. KASSABIAN.
I DID.
IT WAS MY MISTAKE.
IT WAS ME.