1 00:00:02,273 --> 00:00:03,340 (school bell ringing) 2 00:00:03,407 --> 00:00:05,542 SUE: "Madonna." 3 00:00:05,609 --> 00:00:08,778 Simply saying the word aloud makes me feel powerful. 4 00:00:08,846 --> 00:00:12,115 Even in voice-over, how I have worshipped her 5 00:00:12,183 --> 00:00:13,883 ever since I was a little girl. 6 00:00:13,951 --> 00:00:17,387 Sorry, Angie Jolie, Catherine the Great... 7 00:00:17,455 --> 00:00:19,889 Madonna is the most powerful woman 8 00:00:19,957 --> 00:00:22,392 to ever walk the face of the Earth. 9 00:00:22,460 --> 00:00:24,627 I'm instating a new policy whereby 11 00:00:27,031 --> 00:00:29,432 quite loudly, throughout the entire school day. 12 00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:32,202 But blasting her delicious hooks would make it impossible 13 00:00:32,269 --> 00:00:34,070 for the students to concentrate. 14 00:00:34,138 --> 00:00:36,306 Ah, who cares? Madonna never finished college. 15 00:00:36,374 --> 00:00:37,707 She hopped a cab for the bright lights 16 00:00:37,775 --> 00:00:40,677 of New York City with 35 bucks in her pocket. 17 00:00:40,745 --> 00:00:43,346 And I think we should encourage our pupils to do the same. 18 00:00:43,414 --> 00:00:44,814 You say the word, and I will provide you 19 00:00:44,882 --> 00:00:46,282 a list of the students I believe should be 20 00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:47,817 rounded up and shipped off immediately. 21 00:00:47,885 --> 00:00:50,620 I am sorry, Sue. This is insanity! 22 00:00:50,688 --> 00:00:53,089 What you call insanity I call inspiration. 23 00:00:53,157 --> 00:00:55,425 Let me break it down for you. 24 00:00:55,493 --> 00:00:57,327 It's been the biggest dream of my career 25 00:00:57,395 --> 00:00:58,828 to pay homage to Madonna... 26 00:00:58,896 --> 00:01:00,830 the woman most responsible for my take-no-prisoners 27 00:01:00,898 --> 00:01:03,266 demeanor, and my subconscious tendency to always be 28 00:01:03,334 --> 00:01:05,268 desperately looking for someone named Susan. 29 00:01:05,336 --> 00:01:07,170 And now, my Cheerio Squad this year 30 00:01:07,238 --> 00:01:09,939 finally has the talent to make that dream come true. 31 00:01:10,007 --> 00:01:12,175 You will not take that dream from me. 32 00:01:12,243 --> 00:01:14,310 Do you not understand 33 00:01:14,378 --> 00:01:16,012 the blackmail process and how it works? 34 00:01:16,781 --> 00:01:18,515 Smile. 35 00:01:20,584 --> 00:01:22,185 I have your wife's phone number on speed dial. 36 00:01:23,654 --> 00:01:25,588 To recap, you will be playing those Madonna hits 37 00:01:25,656 --> 00:01:27,957 throughout the day at an earsplitting volume. 38 00:01:28,025 --> 00:01:29,426 Understood? 39 00:01:31,128 --> 00:01:32,529 Santana. 40 00:01:32,596 --> 00:01:33,863 What does your bracelet say? 41 00:01:33,931 --> 00:01:35,265 "W.W.M.D." 42 00:01:35,332 --> 00:01:37,067 "What would Madonna do?" 43 00:01:37,134 --> 00:01:39,235 Well, the answer to that question is usually 44 00:01:39,303 --> 00:01:40,603 date a younger man. 45 00:01:40,671 --> 00:01:42,906 So, let's see some arm candy, girls. 46 00:01:42,973 --> 00:01:44,541 Sorry, freshmen. 47 00:01:44,608 --> 00:01:46,676 You're going to have to start trolling the middle schools. 48 00:01:46,744 --> 00:01:47,844 And you know why? 49 00:01:47,912 --> 00:01:49,145 'Cause if you want to be 50 00:01:49,213 --> 00:01:51,214 as riveting a performer as Madonna... 51 00:01:51,282 --> 00:01:53,116 a skill that will nab us Nationals 52 00:01:53,184 --> 00:01:55,785 this year... you're going to have to start 53 00:01:55,853 --> 00:01:58,488 thinking like her, acting like her. 54 00:01:58,556 --> 00:02:00,190 Also... 55 00:02:00,257 --> 00:02:01,991 à la Madonna, I will no longer acknowledge 56 00:02:02,059 --> 00:02:03,626 that any of you have last names. 57 00:02:03,694 --> 00:02:04,894 Becky Jackson. 58 00:02:05,863 --> 00:02:07,097 From now on, 59 00:02:07,164 --> 00:02:08,331 you're just Becky. 60 00:02:11,535 --> 00:02:12,936 You know, it's like Madonna once said, 61 00:02:13,003 --> 00:02:15,638 "I'm tough, I'm ambitious, and I know what I want. 62 00:02:15,706 --> 00:02:19,109 If that makes me a bitch, okay." 63 00:02:19,176 --> 00:02:21,010 I'm pretty sure she stole that line 64 00:02:21,078 --> 00:02:23,546 from one Sue Sylvester. 65 00:02:23,614 --> 00:02:24,948 No, really, she stole it from me. 66 00:02:25,015 --> 00:02:26,516 I said it first. 67 00:02:26,584 --> 00:02:27,884 Palladium. 68 00:02:27,952 --> 00:02:29,819 '87. 70 00:02:37,261 --> 00:02:38,928 Can I ask you guys something private? 71 00:02:38,996 --> 00:02:40,130 Yes, you should move to Israel. 72 00:02:45,336 --> 00:02:47,237 It's about dating. 73 00:02:47,304 --> 00:02:48,671 Not that I'm dating anyone. 74 00:02:48,739 --> 00:02:50,306 We all know that Finn and I are no longer an item, 75 00:02:50,374 --> 00:02:51,941 and for the sake of the team, I broke up with Jessie. 76 00:02:53,511 --> 00:02:55,512 But let's just say I was dating someone. 77 00:02:55,579 --> 00:02:58,781 Let's just say, hypothetically, we went to a Wiggles concert 78 00:02:58,849 --> 00:03:00,083 last Friday night, and then because my dads 79 00:03:00,151 --> 00:03:01,417 weren't home, we went up to my room 80 00:03:01,485 --> 00:03:02,819 and started making out. 81 00:03:02,887 --> 00:03:05,021 It was erotic and romantic. 82 00:03:05,089 --> 00:03:06,189 And then he said... 83 00:03:06,257 --> 00:03:09,092 We should do it. 84 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:10,727 "It"? Totally. 85 00:03:12,229 --> 00:03:13,763 Haven't you done it before? 86 00:03:13,831 --> 00:03:15,698 No. 87 00:03:15,766 --> 00:03:17,500 Have you? 88 00:03:17,568 --> 00:03:18,735 What do you think? 89 00:03:20,404 --> 00:03:23,173 It's no big deal. 90 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:25,341 For a girl, it is. 91 00:03:25,409 --> 00:03:27,911 What if then he got really crabby and left, and didn't even 92 00:03:27,978 --> 00:03:29,946 take home the Care Bear I won him playing Skee Ball? 93 00:03:30,014 --> 00:03:31,214 QUINN: Would you please stop talking? 94 00:03:31,282 --> 00:03:32,949 You're grossing out my baby. 95 00:03:33,017 --> 00:03:35,318 I just want to be ready; I know I'm getting older, 96 00:03:35,386 --> 00:03:37,787 and these things are going to happen someday, but 97 00:03:37,855 --> 00:03:40,990 how do I stop a guy from getting mad at me for saying "no"? 98 00:03:41,058 --> 00:03:42,859 Just do what I do. Never say "no." 99 00:03:42,927 --> 00:03:45,662 Oh, totally. I mean, what's the worst that can happen? 100 00:03:45,729 --> 00:03:48,164 - Sorry, Quinn. - MERCEDES: Look, girl, don't ask me. 101 00:03:48,232 --> 00:03:49,933 The last guy I liked was the mayor of gaytown. 102 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,434 And I can't wait to get a guy 103 00:03:51,502 --> 00:03:53,870 - mad at me for saying "no." - We just have to accept 104 00:03:53,938 --> 00:03:55,838 that guys don't care about our feelings. 105 00:03:55,906 --> 00:03:58,174 Like, the other day, I was walking with Artie... 106 00:03:58,242 --> 00:03:59,676 I've thought a lot about it, and I forgive you 107 00:03:59,743 --> 00:04:01,211 for lying about your stutter. 108 00:04:01,278 --> 00:04:03,146 However, if you're planning on getting all up on this, 109 00:04:03,214 --> 00:04:04,681 I'm going to need you to make some changes. 110 00:04:04,748 --> 00:04:06,916 The goth thing was two years ago, so maybe lose 111 00:04:06,984 --> 00:04:09,485 the vampire makeup and consider some tighter-fitting clothing. 112 00:04:09,553 --> 00:04:11,988 You've got the pow, and I believe you should work it more 113 00:04:12,056 --> 00:04:13,223 if we're going to be an item. 114 00:04:14,625 --> 00:04:16,459 That's got to sting. 115 00:04:17,761 --> 00:04:19,662 Hey, guys. I'm sorry 116 00:04:19,730 --> 00:04:21,297 to interrupt your little sorority, 117 00:04:21,365 --> 00:04:22,565 but I couldn't help but overhearing. 118 00:04:22,633 --> 00:04:25,401 Are you really having that much boy trouble? 119 00:04:25,469 --> 00:04:26,903 You wouldn't understand, 120 00:04:26,971 --> 00:04:28,204 Mr. Shue. You're a guy. 121 00:04:30,174 --> 00:04:32,141 Well, then maybe you should talk to someone else about it. 122 00:04:32,209 --> 00:04:34,244 - Like Ms. Pillsbury. - I tried that. 123 00:04:34,311 --> 00:04:36,546 Oh, um, that's a hot-button topic, isn't it? 124 00:04:36,614 --> 00:04:38,214 I mean, when to do that. 125 00:04:38,282 --> 00:04:39,916 This is the perfect chat to have with your mom. 126 00:04:39,984 --> 00:04:41,084 I have two gay dads. 127 00:04:41,151 --> 00:04:42,986 Right, right... you, um... 128 00:04:43,053 --> 00:04:44,387 How about your rabbi? 129 00:04:44,455 --> 00:04:46,522 I really don't feel comfortable talking about this 130 00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:48,024 with Rabbi Greenberg. 131 00:04:48,092 --> 00:04:49,993 Aren't you a guidance counselor? 132 00:04:50,060 --> 00:04:51,661 Uh... 133 00:04:51,729 --> 00:04:53,029 (school bell rings) 134 00:04:53,097 --> 00:04:54,197 The fact is 135 00:04:54,265 --> 00:04:55,999 is that women still earn 70 cents 136 00:04:56,066 --> 00:04:59,235 to every dollar that a man does for doing the same job. 137 00:04:59,303 --> 00:05:01,070 That attitude starts in high school. 138 00:05:03,874 --> 00:05:06,809 EMMA: I don't know what to say. I mean, 139 00:05:06,877 --> 00:05:09,312 I can't do this job if I don't have the kids' confidence. 140 00:05:09,380 --> 00:05:11,714 Now, I get that this area of interest is, uh, 141 00:05:11,782 --> 00:05:14,884 your blind spot, but I want to help you so that the next time 142 00:05:14,952 --> 00:05:16,286 a girl comes in here asking those 143 00:05:16,353 --> 00:05:19,322 kinds of questions, you'll be prepared. 144 00:05:19,390 --> 00:05:20,990 I'm not saying you need to have sex. 145 00:05:21,058 --> 00:05:23,893 No! No, no, no. No, that's not what you were offering. 146 00:05:23,961 --> 00:05:25,061 - Just... - Why would you offer that? 147 00:05:25,129 --> 00:05:26,329 It wasn't what I was thinking. 148 00:05:26,397 --> 00:05:27,630 Wishful thinking is all that was. 149 00:05:27,698 --> 00:05:29,132 I mean, what this is all really about is 150 00:05:29,199 --> 00:05:30,633 teenage girls feeling like they have no power. 151 00:05:30,701 --> 00:05:32,602 Right, and it makes sense, too. I mean, look at their 152 00:05:32,670 --> 00:05:35,371 role models, you know? You've got Britney Spears and her shaved head. 153 00:05:35,439 --> 00:05:37,774 Lindsay Lohan looks like something out of Lord of the Rings. 154 00:05:37,841 --> 00:05:39,075 Ann Coulter. 155 00:05:41,812 --> 00:05:44,280 Let's work together to try to find a way 156 00:05:44,348 --> 00:05:45,948 to make them feel more confident about themselves. 157 00:05:46,016 --> 00:05:48,418 Yeah, I like that. 158 00:05:48,485 --> 00:05:50,953 Yes, we will change the world one girl at a time. 159 00:05:51,021 --> 00:05:52,822 We'll be like a girl-saving team. 160 00:05:52,890 --> 00:05:55,591 And maybe along the way, we can find 161 00:05:55,659 --> 00:05:57,627 a way to help you, too. 162 00:05:57,695 --> 00:06:00,129 (Madonna's "Ray of Light" intro begins) 163 00:06:05,869 --> 00:06:07,437 (pulsating rock beat plays) 164 00:06:21,318 --> 00:06:23,353 ♪ Zephyr in the sky ♪ 165 00:06:23,420 --> 00:06:26,322 ♪ at night I wonder ♪ 166 00:06:26,390 --> 00:06:29,692 ♪ do my tears of mourning ♪ 167 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:32,495 ♪ sink beneath the sun? ♪ 168 00:06:36,567 --> 00:06:41,371 ♪ She's got herself a universe gone quickly ♪ 169 00:06:41,438 --> 00:06:44,907 ♪ for the call of thunder ♪ 170 00:06:44,975 --> 00:06:50,413 ♪ threatens everyone... ♪ 171 00:06:50,481 --> 00:06:55,852 ♪ And I feel like I just got home, and I feel ♪ 172 00:06:57,921 --> 00:07:02,091 ♪ And I feel like I just got home ♪ 173 00:07:02,159 --> 00:07:06,028 ♪ and I feel... ♪ 174 00:07:13,804 --> 00:07:15,138 (song ends) 175 00:07:17,374 --> 00:07:21,411 Sloppy freak show babies! 176 00:07:21,478 --> 00:07:23,746 Somewhere in the English countryside, 177 00:07:23,814 --> 00:07:27,517 in a stately manor home, Madonna is weeping! 178 00:07:27,584 --> 00:07:29,152 Hit the showers! 179 00:07:31,555 --> 00:07:32,922 (sniffing) 180 00:07:32,990 --> 00:07:34,424 Oh, hey, William. 181 00:07:34,491 --> 00:07:36,225 I thought I smelled cookies wafting 182 00:07:36,293 --> 00:07:38,861 from the ovens of the little elves who live in your hair. 183 00:07:38,929 --> 00:07:40,730 Wow, Sue. I'm really impressed. 184 00:07:40,798 --> 00:07:42,432 Yeah, well, Madonna is legend. 185 00:07:42,499 --> 00:07:44,066 And I want my girls to learn 186 00:07:44,134 --> 00:07:45,635 all the lessons she has to offer: 187 00:07:45,702 --> 00:07:48,271 Strength, independence... 188 00:07:48,338 --> 00:07:50,440 Nobody quite like the Material Girl 189 00:07:50,507 --> 00:07:52,275 to empower my Cheerios. 190 00:07:52,342 --> 00:07:54,277 Just like your hairdresser has empowered you 191 00:07:54,344 --> 00:07:56,512 to look absolutely ridiculous. 192 00:07:57,815 --> 00:07:59,182 I'll see you later, Sue. 193 00:08:02,119 --> 00:08:03,553 You think this is hard?! 194 00:08:03,620 --> 00:08:06,222 I'm passing a gallstone as we speak! 195 00:08:06,290 --> 00:08:07,457 That's hard! 196 00:08:07,524 --> 00:08:10,026 What comes to mind when you see that name? 197 00:08:10,093 --> 00:08:11,227 Genius. 198 00:08:11,295 --> 00:08:12,395 Icon. 199 00:08:12,463 --> 00:08:13,596 Hall of Fame MILF. 200 00:08:14,765 --> 00:08:17,066 So, we're all aware of Madonna's 201 00:08:17,134 --> 00:08:18,768 musical and cultural significance, 202 00:08:18,836 --> 00:08:21,938 which is why this week, your assignment 203 00:08:22,005 --> 00:08:23,806 is to come up with a Madonna number. 204 00:08:23,874 --> 00:08:25,775 (all gasp) Yes! Yes! 205 00:08:25,843 --> 00:08:27,743 PUCK: Uh, Mr. Shue? 206 00:08:27,811 --> 00:08:30,146 As a dude, Madonna makes me kind of uncomfortable. 207 00:08:30,214 --> 00:08:31,614 FINN: Yeah, she's smokin' and everything, 208 00:08:31,682 --> 00:08:33,216 but can't some of us do something else? 209 00:08:33,283 --> 00:08:35,151 Like the guy version of Madonna? 210 00:08:35,219 --> 00:08:37,854 Like, you know, Pantera? 211 00:08:37,921 --> 00:08:39,689 Guys! You know, it's come to my attention 212 00:08:39,756 --> 00:08:41,157 that many of you haven't been treating 213 00:08:41,225 --> 00:08:44,560 the young ladies of our group very nicely lately. 214 00:08:44,628 --> 00:08:46,529 You're disrespectful, bullying, 215 00:08:46,597 --> 00:08:49,499 sexist, and I hate to say it, misogynistic. 216 00:08:49,566 --> 00:08:51,534 I have no idea what that means. 217 00:08:51,602 --> 00:08:54,804 When I pulled my hamstring, I went to a misogynist. 218 00:08:56,940 --> 00:09:00,910 What it means is, put yourself in their shoes for a change. 219 00:09:00,978 --> 00:09:04,046 Culturally, Madonna's legacy transcends her music, 220 00:09:04,114 --> 00:09:06,382 because by and large, the subtext of her songs are about 221 00:09:06,450 --> 00:09:08,718 being strong, independent 222 00:09:08,785 --> 00:09:11,487 and-and confident, no matter what your sex. 223 00:09:11,555 --> 00:09:13,723 But more than anything, Madonna's musical message 224 00:09:13,790 --> 00:09:15,224 is about equality. 225 00:09:15,292 --> 00:09:18,494 And that is something I think you guys need to work on. 226 00:09:18,562 --> 00:09:22,031 Mr. Shue, I don't think we can have an honest conversation 227 00:09:22,099 --> 00:09:23,366 about Ms. Ciccone without acknowledging 228 00:09:23,433 --> 00:09:25,668 that her images are as indelible as her songs. 229 00:09:25,736 --> 00:09:27,737 I would like to honor her contributions by tackling 230 00:09:27,804 --> 00:09:29,138 a multi-media project 231 00:09:29,206 --> 00:09:31,007 - with Mercedes. - WILL: Great. 232 00:09:31,074 --> 00:09:32,341 Go for it, Kurt. 233 00:09:32,409 --> 00:09:34,176 I'm still not down. 234 00:09:34,244 --> 00:09:35,344 And no chick intimidates Puckzilla. 235 00:09:35,412 --> 00:09:36,579 I just don't think her music 236 00:09:36,647 --> 00:09:37,813 translates to show choir. 237 00:09:37,881 --> 00:09:39,282 Really? Well I, for one, 238 00:09:39,349 --> 00:09:40,883 couldn't disagree more. 239 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:44,754 (whispering): "Express Yourself," go. 240 00:09:46,757 --> 00:09:47,590 ♪ ♪ 241 00:09:47,658 --> 00:09:49,425 Come on, girls! 242 00:09:49,493 --> 00:09:51,928 Do you believe in love? 243 00:09:51,995 --> 00:09:53,496 'Cause I got something to say about it, 244 00:09:53,564 --> 00:09:55,865 and it goes something like this. 245 00:09:55,933 --> 00:09:59,936 ♪ Don't go for second best, baby, ♪ 246 00:10:00,003 --> 00:10:02,338 ♪ put your love to the test. ♪ 247 00:10:02,406 --> 00:10:04,774 ♪ You know, you know, you've got to ♪ 248 00:10:04,841 --> 00:10:07,810 ♪ make him express how he feels ♪ 249 00:10:07,878 --> 00:10:11,113 ♪ and maybe then you know your love is real. ♪ 250 00:10:13,183 --> 00:10:16,218 ♪ You don't need diamond rings ♪ 251 00:10:16,286 --> 00:10:21,190 ♪ or 18-karat gold, ♪ 252 00:10:21,258 --> 00:10:24,727 ♪ fancy cars that go very fast, you know, ♪ 253 00:10:24,795 --> 00:10:29,098 ♪ they never last, no, no. ♪ 254 00:10:29,166 --> 00:10:32,368 ♪ What you need is a big, strong hand ♪ 255 00:10:32,436 --> 00:10:37,640 ♪ to lift you to your higher ground. ♪ 256 00:10:37,708 --> 00:10:41,143 ♪ Make you feel like a queen on a throne ♪ 257 00:10:41,211 --> 00:10:46,582 ♪ make him love you till you can't come down. ♪ 258 00:10:46,650 --> 00:10:49,652 ♪ Don't go for second best, baby, ♪ 259 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:52,321 ♪ put your love to the test. ♪ 260 00:10:52,389 --> 00:10:54,590 ♪ You know, you know, you've got to ♪ 261 00:10:54,658 --> 00:10:57,593 ♪ make him express how he feels ♪ 262 00:10:57,661 --> 00:11:03,032 ♪ and maybe then you'll know your love is real. ♪ 263 00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:07,903 ♪ And when you're gone, he might regret it. ♪ 264 00:11:07,971 --> 00:11:10,740 ♪ Think about the love you once had, ♪ 265 00:11:10,807 --> 00:11:13,376 ♪ Try to carry on, ♪ 266 00:11:13,443 --> 00:11:15,778 ♪ But he just won't get it. ♪ 267 00:11:15,846 --> 00:11:19,849 ♪ Hey... ♪ ♪ He'll be back on his knees, so please ♪ 268 00:11:19,916 --> 00:11:23,152 ♪ Don't go for second best, baby, ♪ 269 00:11:23,220 --> 00:11:25,421 ♪ put your love to the test. ♪ 270 00:11:25,489 --> 00:11:27,823 ♪ You know, you know you've got to ♪ 271 00:11:27,891 --> 00:11:30,593 ♪ make him express how he feels ♪ 272 00:11:30,661 --> 00:11:34,230 ♪ and maybe then you'll know your love is real. ♪ 273 00:11:34,297 --> 00:11:36,165 ♪ Let him know your love is real. ♪ 274 00:11:36,233 --> 00:11:39,602 ♪ You've got to make him express himself. ♪ 275 00:11:39,670 --> 00:11:42,638 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey. ♪ 276 00:11:42,706 --> 00:11:45,675 ♪ Put your love to the test. ♪ ♪ So if you want it right now, ♪ 277 00:11:45,742 --> 00:11:48,010 ♪ make him show you how. ♪ ♪ Make him show how he feels. ♪ 278 00:11:48,078 --> 00:11:49,979 ♪ Express what he's got. ♪ 279 00:11:50,047 --> 00:11:52,114 ♪ Oh, baby, ready or not. ♪ 280 00:11:52,182 --> 00:11:55,317 ♪ Express yourself. ♪ 281 00:11:57,220 --> 00:12:00,322 That's what I'm talking about. All right. 282 00:12:03,901 --> 00:12:06,036 I look smokin' hot. (Madonna's "Burning Up" plays) 283 00:12:06,103 --> 00:12:07,237 Guess who I'm dating. 284 00:12:07,304 --> 00:12:08,872 - Who? - Wes Brody. 285 00:12:08,939 --> 00:12:10,473 He's super cute. 286 00:12:10,541 --> 00:12:12,242 He plays soccer with my sister. 287 00:12:12,309 --> 00:12:13,343 He's seven. 288 00:12:13,411 --> 00:12:15,612 Oh! Crap. 289 00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:17,047 I need a younger, inferior man. 290 00:12:17,114 --> 00:12:18,648 If I don't find one, 291 00:12:18,716 --> 00:12:20,417 Coach Sylvester will kick me off the Cheerios, for sure. 292 00:12:20,484 --> 00:12:21,718 Hello? Finn! 293 00:12:21,786 --> 00:12:23,586 His birthday's like three days before yours, 294 00:12:23,654 --> 00:12:24,921 and he's super dumb. 295 00:12:24,989 --> 00:12:27,023 We already tried with Finn, and he hates us. 296 00:12:27,091 --> 00:12:30,326 Trust me, the way to get a man to follow you forever... 297 00:12:30,394 --> 00:12:32,462 take his virginity. 298 00:12:32,530 --> 00:12:34,798 Madonna, like, wrote a song about it. 299 00:12:34,865 --> 00:12:38,768 ♪ You're not convinced that that is enough... ♪ 300 00:12:38,836 --> 00:12:40,437 Hey, Finnocence. 301 00:12:40,504 --> 00:12:43,006 You know, I've been thinking, and I think we should go out. 302 00:12:43,074 --> 00:12:44,874 Just you and me this time, no third wheel. 303 00:12:44,942 --> 00:12:46,710 Will you talk to me this time? 304 00:12:46,777 --> 00:12:48,278 I don't really talk during. 305 00:12:50,081 --> 00:12:53,216 Look, Finn, It's high time you lost the big V. 306 00:12:53,284 --> 00:12:55,452 Everything about you screams virgin. 307 00:12:55,519 --> 00:12:57,721 You're about as sexy as a Cabbage Patch Kid. 308 00:12:57,788 --> 00:13:00,557 It's exhausting to look at you. 309 00:13:00,624 --> 00:13:01,658 Well, look, I appreciate the offer, 310 00:13:01,726 --> 00:13:02,959 but I have feelings for someone else, 311 00:13:03,027 --> 00:13:04,661 and I'm trying to work things out with them. So... 312 00:13:04,729 --> 00:13:06,129 Who, Rachel? 313 00:13:06,197 --> 00:13:08,164 She's dating that Jessie kid from Vocal Adrenaline. 314 00:13:08,232 --> 00:13:09,199 No, she's not. 315 00:13:09,266 --> 00:13:10,967 Please, you can smell it on her. 316 00:13:11,035 --> 00:13:12,469 She's like a cat in heat. 317 00:13:12,536 --> 00:13:14,704 She talked about him yesterday and practically 318 00:13:14,772 --> 00:13:17,240 sprayed the choir room. 319 00:13:17,308 --> 00:13:18,408 So come on, 320 00:13:18,476 --> 00:13:20,076 let's do the deed. 321 00:13:20,144 --> 00:13:21,611 It'll be great for my image, 322 00:13:21,679 --> 00:13:23,346 and Sue will promote me to head cheerleader. 323 00:13:23,414 --> 00:13:24,447 It's win-win. 324 00:13:24,515 --> 00:13:27,884 Wait, what... what do I get out of it? 325 00:13:27,952 --> 00:13:29,219 I don't know. 326 00:13:29,286 --> 00:13:31,387 You get to have sex and make Rachel jealous. 327 00:13:31,455 --> 00:13:33,890 I meant for me, okay? 328 00:13:33,958 --> 00:13:36,126 It's win-win for me. 329 00:13:38,529 --> 00:13:39,596 You wanted to see me? 330 00:13:39,663 --> 00:13:41,664 Sue! (clearing throat) 331 00:13:41,732 --> 00:13:43,066 Um, yeah, thank you for coming. 332 00:13:43,134 --> 00:13:44,033 Please sit down. 333 00:13:44,101 --> 00:13:45,635 No. 334 00:13:45,703 --> 00:13:47,403 ("Burning Up" plays faintly in distance) Okay. 335 00:13:47,471 --> 00:13:50,106 Um, I was just wondering 336 00:13:50,174 --> 00:13:52,475 why Madonna's playing everywhere except my office. 337 00:13:52,543 --> 00:13:54,043 Well, it's simple, Arlene. 338 00:13:54,111 --> 00:13:57,046 You don't deserve the power of Madonna. 339 00:13:57,114 --> 00:13:58,248 You have none of her self-confidence, 340 00:13:58,315 --> 00:13:59,482 her power over her body 341 00:13:59,550 --> 00:14:01,417 or her sexual magnetism. 342 00:14:01,485 --> 00:14:04,087 Simply put, you have all the sensuality 343 00:14:04,155 --> 00:14:06,156 of one of those pandas down at the zoo 344 00:14:06,223 --> 00:14:07,757 who refuse to mate. 345 00:14:07,825 --> 00:14:11,995 I had your, uh, intercom disconnected. 346 00:14:12,062 --> 00:14:15,732 ("Burning Up" plays full-blast, then muffled) 347 00:14:17,768 --> 00:14:19,068 There you go. 348 00:14:19,136 --> 00:14:21,070 Finn, I was just coming to find you. 349 00:14:21,138 --> 00:14:23,640 Look, I know that the boys were a little uncomfortable 350 00:14:23,707 --> 00:14:25,141 about this Madonna assignment, 351 00:14:25,209 --> 00:14:27,377 so I figured you and I as co-captains 352 00:14:27,444 --> 00:14:29,112 could do a little mash-up of a bunch of her songs 353 00:14:29,180 --> 00:14:31,181 just to show everyone how cool it can be. 354 00:14:31,248 --> 00:14:33,817 Yeah, sure, whatever. 355 00:14:33,884 --> 00:14:35,618 Look, are you still dating that Jessie kid? 356 00:14:35,686 --> 00:14:37,754 No, no. 357 00:14:37,822 --> 00:14:39,489 Who-who told you that? 358 00:14:39,557 --> 00:14:42,158 Look, I know things have been weird between us, 359 00:14:42,226 --> 00:14:45,161 but I never thought you'd lie to me. 360 00:14:45,229 --> 00:14:47,030 Look, please just don't tell anyone. 361 00:14:47,097 --> 00:14:48,498 Unbelievable. 362 00:14:48,566 --> 00:14:50,033 We may not be together 363 00:14:50,100 --> 00:14:51,701 the way that Jessie and I are, 364 00:14:51,769 --> 00:14:53,536 but we can still be friends. 365 00:14:53,604 --> 00:14:55,872 I-I'm asking you 366 00:14:55,940 --> 00:14:59,175 as my friend to trust me. 367 00:15:01,478 --> 00:15:05,548 Fine... but if this leads to something bad for all of us, 368 00:15:05,616 --> 00:15:08,251 don't expect any more friendship from me. 369 00:15:08,319 --> 00:15:10,153 Noted. 370 00:15:10,221 --> 00:15:12,522 All right, let's rehearse, then. 371 00:15:12,590 --> 00:15:15,191 (playing intro to "Borderline") 372 00:15:20,898 --> 00:15:26,302 ♪ Something in the way you love me won't let me be. ♪ 373 00:15:28,739 --> 00:15:30,974 ♪ I don't wanna be your prisoner ♪ 374 00:15:31,041 --> 00:15:33,743 ♪ so baby, won't you set me free? ♪ 375 00:15:36,380 --> 00:15:39,649 ♪ Stop playing with my heart, ♪ 376 00:15:39,717 --> 00:15:41,584 ♪ finish what you start, ♪ 377 00:15:41,652 --> 00:15:44,954 ♪ when you make my love come down. ♪ 378 00:15:45,022 --> 00:15:47,323 ♪ If you want me, let me know. ♪ 379 00:15:47,391 --> 00:15:49,359 ♪ Baby, let it show. ♪ 380 00:15:49,426 --> 00:15:51,527 ♪ Honey, don't you fool around. ♪ 381 00:15:51,595 --> 00:15:53,596 ♪ Don't try to resist me, ♪ 382 00:15:53,664 --> 00:15:57,834 ♪ open your heart to me, baby. ♪ 383 00:15:57,902 --> 00:16:02,038 ♪ I'll hold the lock and you hold the key. ♪ 384 00:16:02,106 --> 00:16:06,009 ♪ Open your heart to me, darling. ♪ 385 00:16:06,076 --> 00:16:09,879 ♪ I'll give you love if you, you turn the key. ♪ 386 00:16:09,947 --> 00:16:14,784 ♪ Something in your eyes is making such a fool of me. ♪ 387 00:16:14,852 --> 00:16:18,087 ♪ You're making me, you're making such a fool of me. ♪ 388 00:16:18,155 --> 00:16:22,292 ♪ I see you on the street and you walk on by. ♪ 389 00:16:22,359 --> 00:16:25,762 ♪ You're on the street, I see you when you're walking by. ♪ 390 00:16:25,829 --> 00:16:28,031 ♪ When you hold me in your arms ♪ 391 00:16:28,098 --> 00:16:30,700 ♪ you love me till I just can't see. ♪ 392 00:16:30,768 --> 00:16:34,671 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. ♪ 393 00:16:34,738 --> 00:16:39,676 ♪ So you choose to look the other way. ♪ 394 00:16:39,743 --> 00:16:41,978 ♪ Well, I've got something to say. ♪ 395 00:16:42,046 --> 00:16:46,649 ♪ Open your heart to me, baby. ♪ 396 00:16:46,717 --> 00:16:50,820 ♪ I'll hold the lock and you hold the key. ♪ 397 00:16:50,888 --> 00:16:54,924 ♪ Open your heart to me, darling. ♪ 398 00:16:54,992 --> 00:17:00,029 ♪ I'll give you love if you, you turn the key. ♪ 399 00:17:00,097 --> 00:17:03,299 ♪ Open your heart, I'll make you love me. ♪ 400 00:17:03,367 --> 00:17:06,936 ♪ I'll hold the lock and you hold the key. ♪ 401 00:17:07,004 --> 00:17:10,807 ♪ Open your heart to me, darling ♪ 402 00:17:10,874 --> 00:17:15,345 ♪ I'll give you love if you, you turn the key. ♪ 403 00:17:19,316 --> 00:17:25,254 ♪ Open your heart with the key. ♪ 404 00:17:25,322 --> 00:17:28,057 (panting) 405 00:17:28,125 --> 00:17:29,459 Th-That was good. 406 00:17:29,926 --> 00:17:30,627 Totally. 407 00:17:39,214 --> 00:17:40,548 ("Frozen" playing) Oh, amazing. 408 00:17:40,616 --> 00:17:42,950 You know how Madonna kind of reinvented the video, right? 409 00:17:43,018 --> 00:17:45,219 Well, we got Artie and the A/V Club to help out. 410 00:17:45,287 --> 00:17:47,021 We're gonna make a Madonna video of our own. 411 00:17:47,089 --> 00:17:48,823 It's going to be "Madge-ical." 412 00:17:48,890 --> 00:17:50,925 Madge... you know, Madonna's nickname? 413 00:17:50,993 --> 00:17:52,994 Okay, you really got to get up to speed here. 414 00:17:53,061 --> 00:17:53,794 Hey... SUE: Schuester! 415 00:17:55,464 --> 00:17:57,765 I heard a juicy little rumor that your Up With People rejects 416 00:17:57,833 --> 00:17:59,300 were doing some Madonna songs. Is that true? 417 00:17:59,368 --> 00:18:01,369 Yeah, well, to be honest, Sue, 418 00:18:01,436 --> 00:18:03,037 I got inspired watching your Cheerios. 419 00:18:03,105 --> 00:18:05,172 Well, I have been waiting years to pay tribute to her, 420 00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:07,108 and you are not swooping in at the last minute 421 00:18:07,175 --> 00:18:09,610 to snatch her from my talons. 422 00:18:09,678 --> 00:18:12,713 Madonna belongs to me, and I will not be copied. 423 00:18:12,781 --> 00:18:14,048 It's in my contract. 424 00:18:14,116 --> 00:18:16,717 I want you to listen very closely. 425 00:18:16,785 --> 00:18:19,320 You can have your Barbras and your Chers 426 00:18:19,388 --> 00:18:20,921 and your Christinas... 427 00:18:20,989 --> 00:18:23,024 and wow, I just lost my train of thought. 428 00:18:23,091 --> 00:18:24,792 You have so much margarine in your hair. 429 00:18:24,860 --> 00:18:27,862 Okay, first of all, my kids are doing Madonna. 430 00:18:27,929 --> 00:18:30,297 She's public domain, and there's nothing you can do about it. 431 00:18:30,365 --> 00:18:32,867 Secondly, enough with the hair jokes. 432 00:18:32,934 --> 00:18:36,370 Oh, by the way, how's the Florence Henderson look working out for you? 433 00:18:36,438 --> 00:18:39,473 Oh... ♪ And you should know I suffer the same... ♪ 434 00:18:39,541 --> 00:18:42,877 Oh, maybe you should try a new setting on your Flowbee. 435 00:18:42,944 --> 00:18:44,578 Oh, snap! 436 00:18:49,551 --> 00:18:51,485 ♪ Love is a bird, ♪ 437 00:18:51,553 --> 00:18:54,188 ♪ she needs to fly. ♪ 438 00:18:54,256 --> 00:18:58,159 ♪ Let all the hurt inside of you die. ♪ 439 00:18:58,226 --> 00:19:00,294 ♪ You're frozen ♪ 440 00:19:00,362 --> 00:19:03,764 ♪ when your heart's not open... ♪ 441 00:19:03,832 --> 00:19:06,701 SUE: Who else wants a piece of this, huh?! 442 00:19:06,768 --> 00:19:10,805 ♪ Mm... hmm, hmm. ♪ 443 00:19:10,872 --> 00:19:15,843 ♪ Give yourself to me. ♪ 444 00:19:15,911 --> 00:19:20,047 ♪ Mm.... hmm, hmm. ♪ 445 00:19:20,115 --> 00:19:23,350 Hey, uh, so, that offer of yours 446 00:19:23,418 --> 00:19:25,352 uh, to lose... the big V... 447 00:19:25,420 --> 00:19:26,854 Mm-hmm. 448 00:19:26,922 --> 00:19:28,956 ...I'm in. 449 00:19:29,024 --> 00:19:33,160 ♪ If I could melt your heart... ♪ 450 00:19:33,228 --> 00:19:34,929 (knocking) 451 00:19:37,532 --> 00:19:39,667 Ms. Sylvester, we'd like a word. 452 00:19:39,735 --> 00:19:42,470 We saw how upset you got today. 453 00:19:42,537 --> 00:19:44,105 I don't know what you're talking about. 454 00:19:44,172 --> 00:19:45,473 We saw your face 455 00:19:45,540 --> 00:19:47,141 after Mr. Schuester insulted your hair. 456 00:19:47,209 --> 00:19:48,876 Close the door. 457 00:19:50,545 --> 00:19:52,113 (door closes) Sit down. 458 00:19:55,150 --> 00:19:59,320 You know, kids, I grew up with a handi-capable sister. 459 00:19:59,387 --> 00:20:02,723 My parents were famous Nazi hunters, 460 00:20:02,791 --> 00:20:04,191 so they weren't around a lot. 461 00:20:04,259 --> 00:20:06,160 I had to bring her up on my own. 462 00:20:06,228 --> 00:20:08,162 I didn't have a lot of time or money 463 00:20:08,230 --> 00:20:10,264 to keep up with all the latest looks. 464 00:20:12,167 --> 00:20:15,102 But on my sixth birthday, True Blue was released. 465 00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:17,705 An album that would later sell 466 00:20:17,773 --> 00:20:19,673 over 30 million copies. 467 00:20:19,741 --> 00:20:22,076 My sister and I took it upon ourselves to bleach my hair 468 00:20:22,144 --> 00:20:24,345 with whatever chemicals we could find around the house. 469 00:20:24,412 --> 00:20:26,247 Ammonia, napalm. 470 00:20:26,314 --> 00:20:29,450 My hair was so damaged, I've been forced to wear it short 471 00:20:29,518 --> 00:20:31,051 ever since. 472 00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:33,621 It's been a daily, ongoing pain. 473 00:20:33,688 --> 00:20:35,756 Wait, that would make you, like, 30. 474 00:20:35,824 --> 00:20:36,891 29. 475 00:20:36,958 --> 00:20:39,093 And here's the truth: 476 00:20:39,161 --> 00:20:41,061 I mercilessly pick on 477 00:20:41,129 --> 00:20:43,798 Will Schuester's lustrous, wavy hair 478 00:20:43,865 --> 00:20:45,466 because I'm jealous. 479 00:20:45,534 --> 00:20:48,335 There, I said it. 480 00:20:48,403 --> 00:20:49,770 I think we can help. 481 00:20:49,838 --> 00:20:51,305 Mercedes is black; I'm gay. 482 00:20:51,373 --> 00:20:52,439 We make culture. 483 00:20:52,507 --> 00:20:53,507 Go on. 484 00:20:53,575 --> 00:20:54,575 We're working 485 00:20:54,643 --> 00:20:56,010 on an exciting new project 486 00:20:56,077 --> 00:20:57,711 and would like to use the Cheerios. 487 00:20:57,779 --> 00:20:59,613 And we can help you find a new look. 488 00:20:59,681 --> 00:21:01,715 Interesting. 489 00:21:01,783 --> 00:21:03,851 ♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do... ♪ 490 00:21:03,919 --> 00:21:05,920 ♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do... ♪ 491 00:21:05,987 --> 00:21:08,656 ♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do... ♪ 492 00:21:08,723 --> 00:21:12,426 ♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do! ♪ 493 00:21:15,063 --> 00:21:16,564 Sondheim on Music. (gasps) 494 00:21:16,631 --> 00:21:18,065 (whispering) Jessie, is that you? 495 00:21:18,133 --> 00:21:20,000 I'm so glad you came. 496 00:21:20,068 --> 00:21:22,203 I picked the Stephen Sondheim biography section 497 00:21:22,270 --> 00:21:24,138 for our clandestine meeting place, 498 00:21:24,206 --> 00:21:27,675 because only he would be able to express my melancholia. 499 00:21:27,742 --> 00:21:29,844 I feel bad about what happened at your house. 500 00:21:29,911 --> 00:21:31,412 Do you still have my Care Bear? 501 00:21:31,479 --> 00:21:32,847 Yes. 502 00:21:32,914 --> 00:21:34,648 Since we're meeting in the shadows, 503 00:21:34,716 --> 00:21:36,083 there's something I wanted to talk to you about. 504 00:21:36,151 --> 00:21:37,785 Me first. 505 00:21:37,853 --> 00:21:38,919 I was out of line the other night. 506 00:21:38,987 --> 00:21:40,521 You deserve more than that. 507 00:21:40,589 --> 00:21:41,589 You deserve romance... 508 00:21:41,656 --> 00:21:47,027 no, you deserve epic romance. 509 00:21:47,095 --> 00:21:50,097 I feel badly that I pressured you into... you know, 510 00:21:50,165 --> 00:21:52,633 going all the way. 511 00:21:52,701 --> 00:21:54,735 I'm willing to wait. 512 00:21:54,803 --> 00:21:56,670 You tell me when you're ready. 513 00:21:56,738 --> 00:22:00,441 And I'll make sure that I'm fastidiously groomed. 514 00:22:03,044 --> 00:22:05,112 What did you want to tell me? 515 00:22:07,682 --> 00:22:08,983 I'm ready. 516 00:22:11,987 --> 00:22:13,220 (chuckles) 517 00:22:14,456 --> 00:22:15,456 (sighs, chuckles) 518 00:22:15,523 --> 00:22:17,358 (school bell rings) 519 00:22:17,425 --> 00:22:19,760 Hey, that catch was amazing Tuesday. (chuckles) 520 00:22:19,828 --> 00:22:21,095 Will! Hey. 521 00:22:21,162 --> 00:22:22,263 Hey, wait up. 522 00:22:22,330 --> 00:22:25,266 All right. How's it going? 523 00:22:25,333 --> 00:22:28,235 Good. Um... okay, I've realized something, 524 00:22:28,303 --> 00:22:30,704 something really important. 525 00:22:30,772 --> 00:22:32,673 You know when we were talking about Madonna the other day 526 00:22:32,741 --> 00:22:34,008 and how her music was being blasted 527 00:22:34,075 --> 00:22:35,342 like an intimidating cluster bomb 528 00:22:35,410 --> 00:22:36,677 into everybody's office except for mine 529 00:22:36,745 --> 00:22:39,046 because, apparently, I lack a shred of sex appeal? 530 00:22:39,114 --> 00:22:41,515 Well, it struck me that the Big Mo is always in control of everything. 531 00:22:41,583 --> 00:22:43,450 Her life is her own. 532 00:22:43,518 --> 00:22:44,451 Okay. 533 00:22:44,519 --> 00:22:46,120 So I need to take control 534 00:22:46,187 --> 00:22:48,956 of myself and my body, 535 00:22:49,024 --> 00:22:50,291 just like Madonna. 536 00:22:51,626 --> 00:22:53,060 Which is why... 537 00:22:53,128 --> 00:22:55,195 I'm planning on doing the nasty with you 538 00:22:55,263 --> 00:22:57,298 tonight at your place. 539 00:22:57,365 --> 00:23:00,434 Foreplay shall begin at 7:30 sharp. 540 00:23:00,502 --> 00:23:03,938 So, what do you think? 541 00:23:04,005 --> 00:23:05,472 Not that it matters. 542 00:23:05,540 --> 00:23:06,540 I couldn't agree more. 543 00:23:06,608 --> 00:23:07,641 - Great. - Great. 544 00:23:07,709 --> 00:23:08,776 - 7:30. - Cool. 545 00:23:08,843 --> 00:23:10,544 Mm-hmm. 546 00:23:10,612 --> 00:23:12,546 (big sigh) 547 00:23:17,327 --> 00:23:18,394 ARTIE: "Vogue," take one. 548 00:23:20,831 --> 00:23:23,132 Sound speed... 549 00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:24,767 and action. 550 00:23:26,903 --> 00:23:29,004 And playback. 551 00:23:29,072 --> 00:23:32,441 (soft synthesizer chords playing) 552 00:23:37,914 --> 00:23:40,816 (rhythmic finger snaps) 553 00:23:46,456 --> 00:23:47,623 Strike a pose. 554 00:23:54,297 --> 00:23:58,400 ♪ Look around, everywhere you turn is heartache, ♪ 555 00:23:58,468 --> 00:24:00,870 ♪ it's everywhere that you go. ♪ 556 00:24:00,937 --> 00:24:03,105 ♪ Go, go, go, go... ♪ 557 00:24:03,173 --> 00:24:06,675 ♪ You try everything you can to escape ♪ 558 00:24:06,743 --> 00:24:08,911 ♪ the pain of life that you know. ♪ 559 00:24:08,979 --> 00:24:10,379 ♪ The life that you know... ♪ 560 00:24:10,447 --> 00:24:14,149 ♪ When all else fails and you long to be ♪ 561 00:24:14,217 --> 00:24:18,787 ♪ something better than you are today, ♪ 562 00:24:18,855 --> 00:24:22,458 ♪ I know a place where you can get away, ♪ 563 00:24:22,526 --> 00:24:25,828 ♪ it's called a dance floor, and here's what it's for. ♪ 564 00:24:25,896 --> 00:24:29,899 ♪ So come on, vogue. ♪ 565 00:24:29,966 --> 00:24:32,868 ♪ Let your body move to the music. ♪ 566 00:24:32,936 --> 00:24:34,904 ♪ Move to the music. ♪ ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ 567 00:24:34,971 --> 00:24:36,438 ♪ Come on, vogue. ♪ 568 00:24:37,908 --> 00:24:40,943 ♪ Let your body go with the flow. ♪ 569 00:24:41,011 --> 00:24:43,812 ♪ Go with the flow ♪ ♪ You know you can do it ♪ 570 00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:47,449 ♪ Beauty's where you find it, ♪ 571 00:24:47,517 --> 00:24:52,121 ♪ not just where you bump and grind it. ♪ 572 00:24:52,188 --> 00:24:55,558 ♪ Soul is in the musical, ♪ 573 00:24:55,625 --> 00:24:59,828 ♪ that's where I feel so beautiful. ♪ 574 00:24:59,896 --> 00:25:02,064 ♪ Magical. ♪ 575 00:25:02,132 --> 00:25:03,832 ♪ Life's a ball. ♪ 576 00:25:03,900 --> 00:25:06,135 ♪ So get up on the dance floor. ♪ 577 00:25:06,202 --> 00:25:08,571 ♪ Come on, vogue. ♪ 578 00:25:08,638 --> 00:25:09,872 ♪ Vogue. ♪ 579 00:25:09,940 --> 00:25:12,474 ♪ Let your body move to the music. ♪ 580 00:25:12,542 --> 00:25:14,343 ♪ Move to the music. ♪ ♪ Hey, hey, hey. ♪ 581 00:25:14,411 --> 00:25:16,478 ♪ Come on, vogue. ♪ 582 00:25:16,546 --> 00:25:17,680 ♪ Vogue. ♪ 583 00:25:17,747 --> 00:25:20,749 ♪ Let your body go with the flow. ♪ 584 00:25:20,817 --> 00:25:22,818 ♪ Go with the flow. ♪ ♪ You know you can do it. ♪ 585 00:25:24,454 --> 00:25:26,755 ♪ Vogue, vogue. ♪ 586 00:25:26,823 --> 00:25:28,557 ♪ Beauty's where you find it. ♪ 587 00:25:28,625 --> 00:25:31,126 ♪ Move to the music. ♪ 588 00:25:32,462 --> 00:25:33,429 ♪ Vogue. ♪ 589 00:25:33,496 --> 00:25:34,496 ♪ Vogue. ♪ 590 00:25:34,564 --> 00:25:36,398 ♪ Beauty's where you find it. ♪ 591 00:25:36,466 --> 00:25:38,968 ♪ Go with the flow. ♪ 592 00:25:39,035 --> 00:25:41,170 ♪ Greta Garbo and Monroe ♪ 593 00:25:41,237 --> 00:25:43,205 ♪ Dietrich and DiMaggio ♪ 594 00:25:43,273 --> 00:25:45,407 ♪ Marlon Brando, Jimmy Dean ♪ 595 00:25:45,475 --> 00:25:47,242 ♪ on the cover of a magazine. ♪ 596 00:25:47,310 --> 00:25:49,478 ♪ Grace Kelly, Harlow, Jean, ♪ 597 00:25:49,546 --> 00:25:51,580 ♪ Picture of a beauty queen. ♪ 598 00:25:51,648 --> 00:25:53,749 ♪ Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire, ♪ 599 00:25:53,817 --> 00:25:55,584 ♪ Sue Sylvester dance on air. ♪ 600 00:25:55,652 --> 00:25:57,653 ♪ They had style, they had grace. ♪ 601 00:25:57,721 --> 00:25:59,855 ♪ Rita Hayworth gave good face. ♪ 602 00:25:59,923 --> 00:26:01,790 ♪ Lauren, Katherine, Lana, too. ♪ 603 00:26:01,858 --> 00:26:04,326 ♪ Will Schuester, I hate you. ♪ 604 00:26:04,394 --> 00:26:05,961 ♪ Ladies with an attitude. ♪ 605 00:26:06,029 --> 00:26:08,097 ♪ Fellas that were in the mood. ♪ 606 00:26:08,164 --> 00:26:10,399 ♪ Don't just stand there, let's get to it. ♪ 607 00:26:10,467 --> 00:26:12,134 ♪ Strike a pose, there's nothing to it. ♪ 608 00:26:12,202 --> 00:26:13,869 ♪ Vogue, vogue. ♪ 609 00:26:16,439 --> 00:26:17,306 ♪ Vogue, vogue. ♪ 610 00:26:20,777 --> 00:26:23,412 ♪ Ooh... ♪ 611 00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:29,318 ♪ You've got to let your body move to the music. ♪ 612 00:26:29,386 --> 00:26:31,787 ♪ Ooh... ♪ 613 00:26:31,855 --> 00:26:33,856 ♪ You've got to just... ♪ 614 00:26:35,125 --> 00:26:37,359 (echoing): ♪ Vogue... ♪ 615 00:26:44,768 --> 00:26:46,535 JESSIE: Are you ready? 616 00:26:48,004 --> 00:26:49,938 In a minute. 617 00:26:50,006 --> 00:26:53,642 (intro to "Like a Virgin" plays) 618 00:26:57,013 --> 00:27:01,083 ♪ I made it through the wilderness. ♪ 619 00:27:01,151 --> 00:27:05,187 ♪ Somehow I made it through. ♪ 620 00:27:06,423 --> 00:27:09,258 ♪ I didn't know how lost I was ♪ 621 00:27:09,325 --> 00:27:12,027 ♪ until I found you. ♪ 622 00:27:13,296 --> 00:27:17,299 ♪ I was beat, incomplete. ♪ 623 00:27:17,367 --> 00:27:18,901 ♪ I'd been had. ♪ 624 00:27:18,968 --> 00:27:21,804 ♪ I was sad and blue. ♪ 625 00:27:21,871 --> 00:27:25,474 ♪ But you made me feel, ♪ 626 00:27:25,542 --> 00:27:33,315 ♪ yeah, you made me feel shiny and new. ♪ 627 00:27:33,383 --> 00:27:37,019 ♪ Like a virgin, ♪ 628 00:27:37,087 --> 00:27:40,289 ♪ touched for the very first time. ♪ 629 00:27:41,524 --> 00:27:45,627 ♪ Like a virgin. ♪ 630 00:27:45,695 --> 00:27:49,598 ♪ When your heart beats next to mine. ♪ 631 00:27:49,666 --> 00:27:52,501 ♪ Gonna give you all my love, boy. ♪ 632 00:27:52,569 --> 00:27:57,806 ♪ My fear is fading fast. ♪ 633 00:27:57,874 --> 00:28:01,043 ♪ I'd been saving it all for you, ♪ 634 00:28:01,111 --> 00:28:05,047 ♪ 'cause only love can last. ♪ 635 00:28:05,115 --> 00:28:07,216 ♪ You're so fine ♪ 636 00:28:07,283 --> 00:28:09,485 ♪ and you're mine. ♪ 637 00:28:09,552 --> 00:28:11,153 ♪ Make me strong, ♪ 638 00:28:11,221 --> 00:28:13,722 ♪ yeah, you make me bold. ♪ 639 00:28:13,790 --> 00:28:16,291 ♪ Oh, your love thawed out, ♪ 640 00:28:17,827 --> 00:28:20,963 ♪ yeah, your love thawed out ♪ 641 00:28:21,030 --> 00:28:25,567 ♪ what was getting cold. ♪ 642 00:28:25,635 --> 00:28:26,802 ♪ Like a virgin. ♪ 643 00:28:26,870 --> 00:28:29,238 ♪ You make me feel like a virgin. ♪ 644 00:28:29,305 --> 00:28:31,473 ♪ Touched for the very first time. ♪ 645 00:28:31,541 --> 00:28:33,475 ♪ Oh, baby. ♪ 646 00:28:33,543 --> 00:28:38,046 ♪ Like a vir-ir-irgin. ♪ 647 00:28:38,114 --> 00:28:41,383 ♪ When your heart beats next to mine. ♪ 648 00:28:41,451 --> 00:28:43,852 ♪ Like a virgin. ♪ 649 00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:47,022 ♪ Oh-oh-oh, like a virgin. ♪ 650 00:28:47,090 --> 00:28:51,527 ♪ Yeah, it feels so good inside. ♪ 651 00:28:51,594 --> 00:28:52,961 ♪ When you hold me. ♪ 652 00:28:53,029 --> 00:28:54,730 ♪ When you hold me. ♪ ♪ When your heart beats. ♪ 653 00:28:54,798 --> 00:28:55,731 ♪ When your heart beats. ♪ 654 00:28:55,799 --> 00:28:57,499 ♪ When you love me. ♪ 655 00:28:57,567 --> 00:28:59,368 ♪ When you love me, baby. ♪ ♪ Oh-oh. ♪ 656 00:28:59,435 --> 00:29:00,736 ♪ Whoa. ♪ 657 00:29:00,804 --> 00:29:04,406 ♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, yeah. ♪ 658 00:29:04,474 --> 00:29:07,776 ♪ Oh-oh... yeah. ♪ 659 00:29:08,778 --> 00:29:11,513 ♪ Oh, like a virgin. ♪ 660 00:29:15,919 --> 00:29:18,921 (breathes deeply) 661 00:29:21,558 --> 00:29:23,592 JESSIE: Rachel? 662 00:29:26,095 --> 00:29:27,863 I'm ready. 663 00:29:34,701 --> 00:29:36,702 I wonder which look she's gonna rock. 664 00:29:36,770 --> 00:29:38,270 Doesn't matter. They were all fantastic. 665 00:29:38,338 --> 00:29:39,905 Oh, dear. 666 00:29:42,509 --> 00:29:43,743 Miss Sylvester. 667 00:29:43,810 --> 00:29:46,679 Oh, hey, there, Whoopi, Don Knotts. 668 00:29:46,747 --> 00:29:48,714 - What happened? - Well, I'll tell you what. 669 00:29:48,782 --> 00:29:51,150 All those costumes and the hairstyles, 670 00:29:51,218 --> 00:29:53,352 I'm gonna leave constant reinvention to Madonna. 671 00:29:53,420 --> 00:29:56,388 Know why? Had a revelation. 672 00:29:56,456 --> 00:29:57,890 Here's a list of the kids 673 00:29:57,958 --> 00:29:59,558 I want shipped off to New York 674 00:29:59,626 --> 00:30:01,160 with 35 bucks in their pocket. 675 00:30:01,228 --> 00:30:02,628 Operation Madonna is now complete. 676 00:30:02,696 --> 00:30:05,097 - Sue, these are all Glee kids. - Yep. 677 00:30:05,165 --> 00:30:08,200 Um... I-I'm sorry, Sue. ("Justify My Love" plays) 678 00:30:08,268 --> 00:30:09,401 I'm having trouble concentrating. 679 00:30:09,469 --> 00:30:10,569 Your new look is... 680 00:30:10,637 --> 00:30:12,772 Fantastic. Yeah, I agree. 681 00:30:12,839 --> 00:30:13,806 Unnecessary. 682 00:30:13,874 --> 00:30:15,441 Sue, you're a powerful woman. 683 00:30:15,509 --> 00:30:18,010 You don't need to copy anyone else. 684 00:30:18,078 --> 00:30:20,746 You're an original, just like Madonna. 685 00:30:20,814 --> 00:30:22,481 Don't lose that quality. 686 00:30:22,549 --> 00:30:24,884 Do you mean that, or are you just saying that 687 00:30:24,951 --> 00:30:26,786 because I poked a couple of kids' eyes out 688 00:30:26,853 --> 00:30:28,020 before second period today? 689 00:30:28,088 --> 00:30:29,522 (scoffs) 690 00:30:29,589 --> 00:30:31,824 See, kids, Sue Sylvester realized 691 00:30:31,892 --> 00:30:33,225 she didn't need to reinvent herself. 692 00:30:33,293 --> 00:30:34,660 She needs to reinvent everybody else, 693 00:30:34,728 --> 00:30:35,928 starting with you two. 694 00:30:40,700 --> 00:30:42,701 (exhales deeply) 695 00:30:42,769 --> 00:30:44,403 Hey. 696 00:30:44,471 --> 00:30:45,738 Hi. 697 00:30:45,806 --> 00:30:48,174 So how'd your date with Jessie go Friday night? 698 00:30:48,241 --> 00:30:51,110 It went wonderfully. 699 00:30:51,178 --> 00:30:53,112 Honestly, it wasn't that big of a deal. 700 00:30:53,180 --> 00:30:57,016 I mean, you know, it-it was great. 701 00:30:57,083 --> 00:30:58,684 But when it was over, I just, uh, 702 00:30:58,752 --> 00:31:00,219 you know, didn't know why 703 00:31:00,287 --> 00:31:02,087 I was so nervous in the first place. 704 00:31:02,155 --> 00:31:03,055 (knocking) 705 00:31:03,123 --> 00:31:04,890 Just come out so we can talk... 706 00:31:04,958 --> 00:31:06,826 or sing about it. 707 00:31:06,893 --> 00:31:08,060 (door opens) 708 00:31:10,564 --> 00:31:13,833 Look, Jessie, I really like you, but... 709 00:31:13,900 --> 00:31:16,068 I can't do it. 710 00:31:16,136 --> 00:31:19,138 It wouldn't be right for... the team. 711 00:31:19,206 --> 00:31:21,473 What does the team have to do with this? 712 00:31:21,541 --> 00:31:23,142 If I give myself to you 713 00:31:23,210 --> 00:31:24,610 knowing that my teammates wouldn't approve, 714 00:31:24,678 --> 00:31:27,112 it would be like I was sleeping with the enemy. 715 00:31:27,180 --> 00:31:29,982 I'd be betraying them. 716 00:31:30,050 --> 00:31:32,284 And because I'm truly not ready to do this, 717 00:31:32,352 --> 00:31:33,953 I'd be betraying myself. 718 00:31:36,189 --> 00:31:37,590 I'm happy for you. 719 00:31:37,657 --> 00:31:40,693 And, uh, what about you? 720 00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:42,895 I heard that you had a date with Santana on Friday night. 721 00:31:42,963 --> 00:31:45,764 Yeah. I-I couldn't go through with it. 722 00:31:45,832 --> 00:31:47,533 Why? 723 00:31:47,601 --> 00:31:50,336 I guess I'm just waiting for the right person. 724 00:31:50,403 --> 00:31:53,472 (passing truck horn blows) Do you think they have room service in this place? 725 00:31:53,540 --> 00:31:55,007 'Cause I want a burger. 726 00:31:55,075 --> 00:31:57,509 I thought I'd feel different after. 727 00:31:57,577 --> 00:32:00,212 Yeah, well, I've noticed that it takes about 20 or so times 728 00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:02,748 before the feeling of accomplishment really kicks in. 729 00:32:02,816 --> 00:32:04,250 There's no menu, 730 00:32:04,317 --> 00:32:06,952 so you're gonna have to take me to a burger joint. 731 00:32:07,020 --> 00:32:08,320 How do you feel? 732 00:32:08,388 --> 00:32:11,790 I don't feel anything... 733 00:32:11,858 --> 00:32:13,626 'cause it didn't mean anything. 734 00:32:21,668 --> 00:32:22,468 (school bell rings) 735 00:32:25,305 --> 00:32:28,274 Where have you been? I've been calling you all weekend. 736 00:32:28,341 --> 00:32:30,175 I was kind of embarrassed. 737 00:32:30,243 --> 00:32:33,913 I really wanted to go through with it, Will. 738 00:32:33,980 --> 00:32:37,016 You were so gracious and gentle and... 739 00:32:37,083 --> 00:32:41,253 handsome, and it felt so good to be close to you in that way. 740 00:32:41,321 --> 00:32:43,656 I just, I don't know why I always freak out like that. 741 00:32:43,723 --> 00:32:45,858 Stop, stop-stop-stop. 742 00:32:45,926 --> 00:32:48,127 You don't need to sleep with me to prove anything. 743 00:32:48,194 --> 00:32:49,795 You took ownership of your body on Friday 744 00:32:49,863 --> 00:32:51,230 when you told yourself you weren't ready... 745 00:32:51,298 --> 00:32:53,465 and then ran out of my apartment with no shoes on. 746 00:32:53,533 --> 00:32:55,100 They're my favorites. Did you bring them? 747 00:32:55,168 --> 00:32:57,670 (sighs) I feel bad, Emma. 748 00:32:57,737 --> 00:32:59,772 I've been working so hard trying to get the guys 749 00:32:59,839 --> 00:33:01,874 to start treating the girls with more respect, 750 00:33:01,942 --> 00:33:03,442 and I haven't been walking the walk. 751 00:33:03,510 --> 00:33:06,245 I never should have agreed to have you come over that night. 752 00:33:06,313 --> 00:33:08,681 I did kind of throw myself at you. 753 00:33:08,748 --> 00:33:09,982 That is the point. 754 00:33:10,050 --> 00:33:11,383 We're falling into a pattern here. 755 00:33:12,552 --> 00:33:14,086 We need to instate an official 756 00:33:14,154 --> 00:33:17,890 no-dating policy until my divorce is final. 757 00:33:17,958 --> 00:33:20,626 Well, when will that be? 758 00:33:20,694 --> 00:33:23,629 I filed today. 759 00:33:23,697 --> 00:33:25,331 So that's a start. 760 00:33:25,398 --> 00:33:28,367 But while we're waiting, 761 00:33:28,435 --> 00:33:29,735 I want you to get some help 762 00:33:29,803 --> 00:33:31,370 for your problems; we need to take action here. 763 00:33:31,438 --> 00:33:33,472 They're not gonna go away unless we do. 764 00:33:33,540 --> 00:33:37,242 Now, our health union covers counseling. 765 00:33:37,310 --> 00:33:38,644 They'll come to the school, 766 00:33:38,712 --> 00:33:40,813 meet you in your office, whatever you need. 767 00:33:43,249 --> 00:33:45,951 And... 768 00:33:46,019 --> 00:33:47,886 I polished them myself. 769 00:33:55,128 --> 00:33:56,495 Thank you. 770 00:33:59,766 --> 00:34:01,600 (knocking) 771 00:34:01,668 --> 00:34:03,068 Mr. Schuester? 772 00:34:03,136 --> 00:34:04,169 Yes? 773 00:34:04,237 --> 00:34:06,238 I'm Jessie St. James. 774 00:34:06,306 --> 00:34:07,706 Can I talk to you about something? 775 00:34:10,043 --> 00:34:12,044 What the hell?! It seems like now everybody's doing things 776 00:34:12,112 --> 00:34:13,379 just to hurt my feelings. 777 00:34:13,446 --> 00:34:14,913 I thought you all would take this news 778 00:34:14,981 --> 00:34:15,881 a little better. I'm a star. 779 00:34:15,949 --> 00:34:17,182 You can learn from me. 780 00:34:17,250 --> 00:34:18,517 We were already fighting for second leads. 781 00:34:18,585 --> 00:34:19,752 And now that you've shown up, 782 00:34:19,819 --> 00:34:21,387 I've lost all hope at ever getting a solo. 783 00:34:21,454 --> 00:34:22,955 Yeah, that's right. And y'all just trot me out 784 00:34:23,023 --> 00:34:25,391 at the end of every number so I can wail on the last note. 785 00:34:25,458 --> 00:34:26,458 How is that okay? 786 00:34:26,526 --> 00:34:28,460 He's a spy, Mr. Shue. I would know. 787 00:34:28,528 --> 00:34:29,862 Whoa, whoa, whoa, guys. 788 00:34:29,929 --> 00:34:31,697 I saw all the paperwork, I spoke with his parents... 789 00:34:31,765 --> 00:34:32,765 They winter in Bali. 790 00:34:32,832 --> 00:34:34,333 It's a very expensive phone call. 791 00:34:34,401 --> 00:34:36,101 WILL: Jessie just moved in with his uncle, 792 00:34:36,169 --> 00:34:37,469 which is in our school district. 793 00:34:37,537 --> 00:34:39,038 It's all above board, guys. 794 00:34:39,105 --> 00:34:40,339 He goes to this school now. 795 00:34:40,407 --> 00:34:41,607 But this isn't fair. 796 00:34:41,674 --> 00:34:42,808 Guys! 797 00:34:42,876 --> 00:34:43,942 Everyone who's ever auditioned 798 00:34:44,010 --> 00:34:45,944 for this group has gotten in. 799 00:34:46,012 --> 00:34:47,413 That's how we do things here. 800 00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:50,015 Okay, to suddenly change the rules now, 801 00:34:50,083 --> 00:34:52,084 that would be unfair. 802 00:34:52,152 --> 00:34:53,652 Brittany. 803 00:34:53,720 --> 00:34:55,554 Mr. Shue, is he your son? 804 00:34:57,991 --> 00:34:59,958 I don't understand why you're doing this. 805 00:35:00,026 --> 00:35:02,061 Because when you love something, you got to go for it. 806 00:35:02,128 --> 00:35:03,262 You would never be with me completely 807 00:35:03,329 --> 00:35:05,164 if I were on the opposing team. 808 00:35:05,231 --> 00:35:07,599 And I care about you more than winning another national title. 809 00:35:09,035 --> 00:35:10,502 So I left Vocal Adrenaline. 810 00:35:10,570 --> 00:35:11,403 For you. 811 00:35:13,406 --> 00:35:15,407 WILL: All right, guys, we have got a lot of work to do. 812 00:35:15,475 --> 00:35:17,176 Jessie, great to have you here. 813 00:35:17,243 --> 00:35:18,777 Welcome aboard. 814 00:35:18,845 --> 00:35:20,045 Okay, from the top. 815 00:35:20,113 --> 00:35:21,413 Five, six, seven, eight! 816 00:35:21,481 --> 00:35:25,884 (band playing "4 Minutes To Save The World") 817 00:35:34,094 --> 00:35:35,461 MERCEDES: ♪ Hey ♪ 818 00:35:35,528 --> 00:35:37,629 ♪ Unh, come on ♪ 819 00:35:37,697 --> 00:35:38,831 ♪ Kurt Hummel, take it ♪ 820 00:35:38,898 --> 00:35:40,332 ♪ Come on, girl ♪ 821 00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:44,636 ♪ I've been waiting for somebody to pick up my stroll ♪ 822 00:35:44,704 --> 00:35:45,504 ♪ Unh ♪ 823 00:35:47,474 --> 00:35:49,741 ♪ Well, don't waste time, give me the sign ♪ 824 00:35:49,809 --> 00:35:52,778 ♪ Tell me how you want to roll ♪ 825 00:35:55,715 --> 00:35:58,417 ♪ I want somebody to speed it up for me ♪ 826 00:35:58,485 --> 00:36:00,385 ♪ Then take it down slow ♪ 827 00:36:00,453 --> 00:36:03,789 ♪ There's enough room for both ♪ 828 00:36:03,857 --> 00:36:05,124 ♪ Well, I can handle that ♪ 829 00:36:05,191 --> 00:36:07,559 ♪ You just got to show me where it's at ♪ 830 00:36:07,627 --> 00:36:12,764 ♪ Are you ready to go? Are you ready to go-o-o-o? ♪ 831 00:36:12,832 --> 00:36:14,833 ♪ If you want it ♪ 832 00:36:14,901 --> 00:36:17,736 ♪ You already got it ♪ 833 00:36:17,804 --> 00:36:20,339 ♪ If you've thought it, it better be what you want ♪ 834 00:36:20,406 --> 00:36:22,841 ♪ Time is waiting ♪ 835 00:36:22,909 --> 00:36:25,144 ♪ We only got four minutes to save the world ♪ 836 00:36:25,211 --> 00:36:26,812 ♪ No hesitating ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ 837 00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:29,414 ♪ Grab a boy and grab a girl ♪ 838 00:36:29,482 --> 00:36:31,683 ♪ Time is waiting ♪ 839 00:36:31,751 --> 00:36:33,485 ♪ We only got four minutes to save the world ♪ 840 00:36:33,553 --> 00:36:36,021 ♪ No hesitating ♪ 841 00:36:36,089 --> 00:36:39,224 ♪ We only got four minutes, four minutes ♪ 842 00:36:39,292 --> 00:36:41,693 ♪ Don't be afraid, hey, Madonna, unh ♪ 843 00:36:41,761 --> 00:36:44,263 ♪ You got to get 'em up, hop ♪ 844 00:36:44,330 --> 00:36:45,831 ♪ Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock ♪ 845 00:36:45,899 --> 00:36:47,399 ♪ That's right, keep it up, keep it up ♪ 846 00:36:47,467 --> 00:36:50,002 ♪ Don't be afraid, hey, Madonna, unh ♪ 847 00:36:50,069 --> 00:36:52,871 ♪ You got to get 'em up, hop ♪ 848 00:36:52,939 --> 00:36:54,339 ♪ Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. ♪ 849 00:36:54,407 --> 00:36:57,376 (cheering, applause) 850 00:37:04,184 --> 00:37:06,084 Sue, what the hell is going on here? 851 00:37:06,152 --> 00:37:07,819 Oh, what's the matter, buddy? Did you miss the show? 852 00:37:07,887 --> 00:37:09,321 You probably had to run to the powder room. 853 00:37:09,389 --> 00:37:10,422 Let me fill you in. 854 00:37:10,490 --> 00:37:12,391 Future center square Kurt Hummel there 855 00:37:12,458 --> 00:37:15,561 and his brassy hag Mercedes just tore that Madonna song 856 00:37:15,628 --> 00:37:16,762 a new one. 857 00:37:16,829 --> 00:37:17,930 Wait, you two are Cheerios now? 858 00:37:17,997 --> 00:37:19,231 Yeah, I've decided to add vocals 859 00:37:19,299 --> 00:37:22,067 to my already wildly overproduced Cheerios numbers. 860 00:37:22,135 --> 00:37:24,102 It'll give us the edge at Nationals. 861 00:37:24,170 --> 00:37:25,971 You guys could've at least given me the heads-up. 862 00:37:26,039 --> 00:37:28,006 You mean, the same way you gave us a heads-up 863 00:37:28,074 --> 00:37:30,042 before not giving us a solo almost every week? 864 00:37:30,109 --> 00:37:31,743 KURT: Mr. Shue, Mercedes and I 865 00:37:31,811 --> 00:37:33,745 talked it over, and we love being in Glee, 866 00:37:33,813 --> 00:37:35,480 but being in the Cheerios will give us 867 00:37:35,548 --> 00:37:37,149 more opportunities to shine. 868 00:37:37,217 --> 00:37:38,483 So we're doing both. 869 00:37:38,551 --> 00:37:40,686 Ah, chipper up, Tiger. 870 00:37:40,753 --> 00:37:42,854 You know, I was down at the pharmacy today, 871 00:37:42,922 --> 00:37:45,691 and they're having a monster sale on Dep. 872 00:37:45,758 --> 00:37:47,359 Dep is a hair gel. 873 00:37:47,427 --> 00:37:49,361 And once again, I am making fun of 874 00:37:49,429 --> 00:37:51,063 your incredibly stupid hairdo. 875 00:37:51,130 --> 00:37:53,131 (buzzer sounds) 876 00:37:58,055 --> 00:38:00,056 Girls can wear jeans and cut their hair short, 877 00:38:00,124 --> 00:38:04,694 wear shirts and boots, 'cause it's okay to be a boy. 878 00:38:04,762 --> 00:38:08,298 But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading, 879 00:38:08,365 --> 00:38:11,467 'cause you think that being a girl is degrading. 880 00:38:11,535 --> 00:38:15,371 But secretly you'd love to know what it's like, wouldn't you? 881 00:38:15,439 --> 00:38:17,206 What it feels like for a girl. 882 00:38:18,409 --> 00:38:20,510 (slow pop rhythm begins) 883 00:38:25,983 --> 00:38:28,284 ♪ Silky smooth ♪ 884 00:38:28,352 --> 00:38:31,287 ♪ Lips as sweet as candy ♪ 885 00:38:33,824 --> 00:38:35,058 ♪ Baby ♪ 886 00:38:35,125 --> 00:38:39,495 ♪ Strong inside, but you don't know it ♪ 887 00:38:39,563 --> 00:38:43,333 ♪ Good little girls, they never show it ♪ 888 00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:47,904 ♪ When you open up your mouth to speak ♪ 889 00:38:47,971 --> 00:38:52,608 ♪ Could you be a little weak? ♪ 890 00:38:52,676 --> 00:38:54,811 ♪ Do you know ♪ ♪ Do you know ♪ 891 00:38:54,878 --> 00:38:58,414 ♪ What it feels like in this world ♪ 892 00:38:58,482 --> 00:39:00,416 ♪ For a girl? ♪ ♪ For a girl? ♪ 893 00:39:00,484 --> 00:39:01,951 ♪ Oh ♪ 894 00:39:02,019 --> 00:39:10,626 ♪ For a girl... ♪ 895 00:39:10,694 --> 00:39:17,900 ♪ In this world... ♪ 896 00:39:19,837 --> 00:39:21,804 ♪ Do you know ♪ 897 00:39:21,872 --> 00:39:27,543 ♪ What it feels like in this world? ♪ 898 00:39:27,611 --> 00:39:28,644 (music fades) 899 00:39:28,712 --> 00:39:30,113 I am not down with this. 900 00:39:30,180 --> 00:39:31,681 I like being a dude. 901 00:39:31,749 --> 00:39:33,483 That's because it's easy to be a dude. 902 00:39:33,550 --> 00:39:35,585 Uh, Mr. Shue, I think we're gonna need a new baritone, 903 00:39:35,652 --> 00:39:36,953 'cause Finn would like to become Finnessa. 904 00:39:37,020 --> 00:39:37,920 Wait, h-hold on, Puck. 905 00:39:37,988 --> 00:39:38,888 Finn has a point. 906 00:39:38,956 --> 00:39:40,089 I mean, haven't you notid 907 00:39:40,157 --> 00:39:41,557 how low morale has been around here lately? 908 00:39:41,625 --> 00:39:42,692 ARTIE: I have. 909 00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:44,160 I think the way I was objectifying Tina 910 00:39:44,228 --> 00:39:45,695 may have sent her over the edge. 911 00:39:45,763 --> 00:39:46,696 (school bell ringing) 912 00:39:46,764 --> 00:39:47,797 Hey, girl. 913 00:39:47,865 --> 00:39:49,499 My eyes are up here! 914 00:39:49,566 --> 00:39:52,068 I am a person with feelings! Get out of my grill! 915 00:39:52,136 --> 00:39:53,669 I am a powerful woman, 916 00:39:53,737 --> 00:39:55,738 and my growing feminism will cut you in half 917 00:39:55,806 --> 00:39:56,973 like a righteous blade of equality! 918 00:39:59,309 --> 00:40:01,144 We've been treating the girls like crap-- 919 00:40:01,211 --> 00:40:03,413 not caring about their feelings, not listening, objectifying. 920 00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:04,881 That's the right word, right, Mr. Shue? 921 00:40:04,948 --> 00:40:05,948 That's right. Objectifying. 922 00:40:06,016 --> 00:40:09,051 As an honorary girl, I have to agree. 923 00:40:09,119 --> 00:40:10,720 This team shouldn't work, but it does 924 00:40:10,788 --> 00:40:12,388 because we respect each other's talent. 925 00:40:12,456 --> 00:40:13,823 And if we want to take it to 926 00:40:13,891 --> 00:40:15,224 the next level, we have to start 927 00:40:15,292 --> 00:40:16,793 respecting each other as individuals. 928 00:40:16,860 --> 00:40:18,561 Really see each other. 929 00:40:18,629 --> 00:40:20,263 Why were you 930 00:40:20,330 --> 00:40:21,964 singing with us, Mr. Shue? 931 00:40:22,032 --> 00:40:26,502 Because apparently... I need to learn that lesson. 932 00:40:26,570 --> 00:40:28,871 Fine, but I'm not singing this song. 933 00:40:28,939 --> 00:40:30,173 We don't have to. 934 00:40:30,240 --> 00:40:31,874 We just have to make it right with the girls, 935 00:40:31,942 --> 00:40:33,142 show them 936 00:40:33,210 --> 00:40:34,444 we get how it feels. 937 00:40:37,014 --> 00:40:39,081 I would get down on one knee if I could. 938 00:40:39,149 --> 00:40:40,383 Why would you propose to me? 939 00:40:40,451 --> 00:40:41,451 You don't even like me. 940 00:40:41,518 --> 00:40:43,085 Stop. 941 00:40:43,153 --> 00:40:44,253 That's where you're wrong. 942 00:40:44,321 --> 00:40:46,889 I was really rude to you. 943 00:40:46,957 --> 00:40:49,125 You're awesome. 944 00:40:49,193 --> 00:40:51,828 And you shouldn't change, unless you want to. 945 00:40:51,895 --> 00:40:56,332 And if you want to get up on this, 946 00:40:56,400 --> 00:40:57,233 just let me know. 947 00:41:01,138 --> 00:41:04,373 Yep. That's more like it. 948 00:41:06,510 --> 00:41:07,410 (school bell ringing) 949 00:41:07,478 --> 00:41:08,945 Hey. 950 00:41:09,012 --> 00:41:10,480 If you're gonna criticize and mock me again 951 00:41:10,547 --> 00:41:11,714 about Jessie, you can can it. 952 00:41:11,782 --> 00:41:14,350 I wanted to apologize. 953 00:41:14,418 --> 00:41:16,285 The only reason you were even 954 00:41:16,353 --> 00:41:18,888 open to dating Jessie was because I was such an ass. 955 00:41:18,956 --> 00:41:21,157 Mr. Tough Guy and all that. 956 00:41:21,225 --> 00:41:23,192 I really liked you. 957 00:41:23,260 --> 00:41:26,729 And I could have had you, but I blew it. 958 00:41:26,797 --> 00:41:29,499 You really liked me? 959 00:41:30,434 --> 00:41:32,435 Okay, Finn. I know we have 960 00:41:32,503 --> 00:41:35,705 a big showdown coming, so let's just decide on the arena. 961 00:41:35,772 --> 00:41:38,374 Sing-off, the parking lot, 5:00-- be there. 962 00:41:38,442 --> 00:41:39,809 No. 963 00:41:41,845 --> 00:41:43,379 Welcome to New Directions. 964 00:41:44,848 --> 00:41:46,315 Frankly, I need you. I'm tired of 965 00:41:46,383 --> 00:41:47,617 carrying the male vocals all by myself. 966 00:41:50,020 --> 00:41:53,155 I'll do my best to stay away from your girl. 967 00:41:53,223 --> 00:41:55,358 I appreciate that. 968 00:41:55,425 --> 00:41:56,893 She's a keeper. 969 00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:58,461 Walk with me to the auditorium. 970 00:41:58,529 --> 00:41:59,862 I put together a new Madonna number; 971 00:41:59,930 --> 00:42:01,330 I'll talk you through it on the way. 972 00:42:01,398 --> 00:42:03,266 Sweet. 973 00:42:07,371 --> 00:42:09,672 ("Like A Prayer" playing) 974 00:42:09,740 --> 00:42:14,510 ♪ Life is a mystery ♪