1
00:00:03,270 --> 00:00:04,905
So here's what's hapn Finn
got Kurt to try out
2
00:00:04,972 --> 00:00:06,543
for the football team, which was super cool,
but sometimes
3
00:00:06,610 --> 00:00:07,978
it seems like maybe Kurt's sort
of got a crush on him.
4
00:00:08,046 --> 00:00:10,517
It's enough to want to
give up women all together.
5
00:00:10,584 --> 00:00:12,187
Will's old crush, April,
joined the Glee Club,
6
00:00:12,256 --> 00:00:14,393
but she was drunk all the time,
so Will kicked her out.
7
00:00:14,461 --> 00:00:16,230
Also, Sue convinced Kurt and
Mercedes that they should join
8
00:00:16,298 --> 00:00:18,469
the Cheerios!, which Will was none too happy
about.
9
00:00:18,536 --> 00:00:19,871
And that's what you missed on...
# Glee! #
10
00:00:24,752 --> 00:00:28,025
Ladies, what we have here
is a grade-A dilemma.
11
00:00:28,092 --> 00:00:30,564
Mercedes, your vocal chords
12
00:00:30,632 --> 00:00:33,002
have had more fantastic runs
than a Kenyan track team,
13
00:00:33,070 --> 00:00:35,374
but that look simply will not do.
14
00:00:35,442 --> 00:00:36,910
At first, I thought it was
15
00:00:36,978 --> 00:00:38,347
a subtle homage to yours truly,
16
00:00:38,415 --> 00:00:40,485
but now I fear it's some
sort of ironic comment.
17
00:00:40,552 --> 00:00:42,922
Ms. Sylvester, I'm just not comfortable
18
00:00:42,990 --> 00:00:44,392
in those Cheerios! skirts.
19
00:00:44,460 --> 00:00:45,895
They don't fit me right.
20
00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:47,932
Mercedes, you shouldn't feel
embarrassed about your body.
21
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:49,469
Embarrassed?
22
00:00:49,537 --> 00:00:51,673
No, no. I'm worried about
showing too much skin
23
00:00:51,740 --> 00:00:53,075
and causing a sex riot.
24
00:00:56,717 --> 00:00:58,753
How do you two not have a show on Bravo?
25
00:00:58,820 --> 00:01:02,225
Here's the skinny: Splitts! magazine,
26
00:01:02,293 --> 00:01:04,630
after much campaigning by one Sue Sylvester,
27
00:01:04,697 --> 00:01:08,570
has named me #Cheerleading Coach
of the Last Two Thousand Years.#
28
00:01:08,638 --> 00:01:09,939
In seven days, reporter Tracey Pendergrass
29
00:01:10,007 --> 00:01:11,942
will arrive on campus,
30
00:01:12,010 --> 00:01:14,580
and my new star singer
will have lost ten pounds,
31
00:01:14,648 --> 00:01:16,717
and be in a gende
r-appropriate cheerleading uniform,
32
00:01:16,785 --> 00:01:18,287
or she is off the team.
33
00:01:20,257 --> 00:01:22,227
Ten pounds?
34
00:01:22,295 --> 00:01:23,630
Are you serious? You could stand
35
00:01:23,697 --> 00:01:25,132
to lose a few, too, kiddo.
36
00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:26,234
You got hips like a pear.
37
00:01:28,272 --> 00:01:30,174
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have
38
00:01:30,242 --> 00:01:32,010
to put in a call to the
Ohio Secretary of State,
39
00:01:32,078 --> 00:01:35,182
notifying them I will no
longer be carrying photo I.D.
40
00:01:35,250 --> 00:01:37,353
You know why?
41
00:01:37,420 --> 00:01:40,191
People should know who I am.
43
00:01:43,164 --> 00:01:45,200
Sue! We need to talk.
44
00:01:45,267 --> 00:01:47,170
The auditorium is padlocked!
45
00:01:47,237 --> 00:01:48,305
Well, that's curious.
46
00:01:48,372 --> 00:01:51,407
- Did you check the sign-up sheet?
- What sign-up sheet?
47
00:01:51,475 --> 00:01:53,443
Why, the one I keep right
here in my waistband,
48
00:01:53,511 --> 00:01:55,346
William. Let's see.
49
00:01:55,414 --> 00:01:58,684
Yeah, I've got the entire week booked solid.
50
00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:01,455
Got a big magazine feature coming up.
51
00:02:01,523 --> 00:02:03,926
It's a little chilly for my
girls to be practicing outdoors.
52
00:02:03,993 --> 00:02:06,863
Yeah? Well, let's see what
Figgins has to say about this.
53
00:02:06,931 --> 00:02:08,900
Oh, I'm sure Figgins will just
mumble something nervously
54
00:02:08,967 --> 00:02:10,536
and then pretend to take a phone call.
55
00:02:10,603 --> 00:02:12,739
I happen to be blackmailing him.
56
00:02:12,806 --> 00:02:14,842
Um, all right, I have one
final announcement
57
00:02:14,909 --> 00:02:16,945
before we all leave.
58
00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:20,016
We can't use the auditorium
for the next week.
59
00:02:20,084 --> 00:02:22,086
But that's garbage.
How are we supposed to practice
60
00:02:22,153 --> 00:02:23,254
for Regionals without the auditorium?
61
00:02:23,322 --> 00:02:25,157
The Cheerios! need it to practice in.
62
00:02:25,224 --> 00:02:26,859
There's nothing I can do.
63
00:02:26,927 --> 00:02:29,062
I recommend a sit-in.
64
00:02:29,130 --> 00:02:30,565
I recommend we torch the place.
65
00:02:30,633 --> 00:02:33,202
No. Look, we've all faced adversity before,
66
00:02:33,270 --> 00:02:35,038
and we've come out stronger on the other end.
67
00:02:35,106 --> 00:02:36,941
I'm going to check out a few of
f-site locations for us
68
00:02:37,009 --> 00:02:39,077
to use, just for the week.
69
00:02:39,145 --> 00:02:41,147
I promise I'll find us a new home.
70
00:02:42,584 --> 00:02:44,485
Have good day, guys.
71
00:02:45,754 --> 00:02:48,289
Oh, Finn, I wanted your opinion on this.
72
00:02:48,357 --> 00:02:49,457
It's a swatch board.
73
00:02:49,525 --> 00:02:50,991
I'm redecorating my bedroom.
74
00:02:51,059 --> 00:02:52,759
Kind of going for a hunting lodge
75
00:02:52,827 --> 00:02:54,459
meets Tom Ford's place in Bel Air.
76
00:02:54,527 --> 00:02:56,393
I was hoping you could help me out
77
00:02:56,461 --> 00:02:57,627
with the hunting lodge part.
78
00:02:57,695 --> 00:02:59,929
I live in a closet.
79
00:02:59,997 --> 00:03:01,930
There's cowboy wallpaper on the walls.
80
00:03:01,998 --> 00:03:03,364
Oh...
81
00:03:03,432 --> 00:03:05,599
But I guess that one's nice.
82
00:03:05,666 --> 00:03:06,966
Toile?
83
00:03:07,034 --> 00:03:09,202
I always pegged you as a chinoiserie type.
84
00:03:15,912 --> 00:03:17,112
Mercedes...
85
00:03:17,180 --> 00:03:18,513
This is healthy!
86
00:03:18,581 --> 00:03:20,614
Chicken breast and a salad,
dressing on the side.
87
00:03:20,682 --> 00:03:22,482
You have a week to lose ten pounds.
88
00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:24,817
That's like having to lose
one of my butt cheeks.
89
00:03:24,885 --> 00:03:26,818
Look at what I'm eating-- peeled celery.
90
00:03:26,886 --> 00:03:28,453
And for breakfast, I had Splenda.
91
00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:30,588
Look, Mercedes, now that we're cheerleaders,
92
00:03:30,655 --> 00:03:32,089
we're finally part of the in crowd.
93
00:03:32,157 --> 00:03:33,724
We have a place at the table.
94
00:03:33,792 --> 00:03:35,960
We don't have to beg undneath
for scraps of attention.
95
00:03:36,028 --> 00:03:38,429
Don't screw it up.
96
00:03:38,496 --> 00:03:40,697
I'm pretty sure my cat's
been reading my diary.
97
00:03:40,765 --> 00:03:43,600
Hey, guys. Can I ask you something?
98
00:03:43,667 --> 00:03:45,534
How do you manage to stay so skinny?
99
00:03:45,602 --> 00:03:48,069
The Sue Sylvester Master Cleanse.
100
00:03:48,137 --> 00:03:50,071
Water, maple syrup for glucose,
101
00:03:50,139 --> 00:03:52,706
lemon for acid, cayenne
pepper to irritate the bowels,
102
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:56,409
and a dash of ipecac, a vomiting agent.
103
00:03:56,477 --> 00:03:59,913
I haven't had a solid meal since 1987.
104
00:03:59,981 --> 00:04:02,949
Sometimes I add a teaspoon of sand.
105
00:04:03,017 --> 00:04:04,684
That can't be healthy. Who cares?
106
00:04:04,752 --> 00:04:06,686
You can either feel terrible and look great,
107
00:04:06,754 --> 00:04:09,089
or get kicked off the team
when that reporter gets here.
108
00:04:27,669 --> 00:04:29,436
Why are you so upset?
109
00:04:30,572 --> 00:04:32,105
It's not your bed.
110
00:04:32,173 --> 00:04:34,073
Don't you have any feelings about it?
111
00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:35,575
It's your and dad's honeymoon set.
112
00:04:35,642 --> 00:04:37,009
I was conceived in that bed.
113
00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:38,877
You were conceived on a pinball machine.
114
00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:43,714
Well... I think that's everything.
115
00:04:43,782 --> 00:04:45,349
You mentioned something about the recliner?
116
00:04:45,417 --> 00:04:46,684
Oh, yeah.
117
00:04:46,751 --> 00:04:49,253
It doesn't look like much,
but the parts all work.
118
00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:51,087
Ooh, my wife would love this.
119
00:04:51,155 --> 00:04:52,388
Sciatica.
120
00:04:52,456 --> 00:04:54,523
Mom, no!
121
00:04:54,591 --> 00:04:56,459
It's not for sale.
122
00:04:58,828 --> 00:05:01,764
This is Dad's chair.
123
00:05:04,334 --> 00:05:07,002
This is the only picture of the two of us.
124
00:05:07,070 --> 00:05:08,504
It's the only picture there will
125
00:05:08,572 --> 00:05:11,173
ever be of the two of us,
and he's sitting in this chair.
126
00:05:11,241 --> 00:05:13,909
It's a chair, honey. It's not him.
127
00:05:13,977 --> 00:05:15,511
What's going on with you?
128
00:05:15,578 --> 00:05:17,746
You're selling all our old stuff,
129
00:05:17,814 --> 00:05:20,581
you got new clothes, a new haircut...
130
00:05:20,649 --> 00:05:22,383
I'm seeing someone, Finn. Um...
131
00:05:22,450 --> 00:05:24,952
I think I'm in love.
132
00:05:25,019 --> 00:05:26,953
Who is it?
133
00:05:27,021 --> 00:05:28,588
Uh, do I know him?
134
00:05:28,655 --> 00:05:30,256
It's your friend Kurt's father--
135
00:05:30,324 --> 00:05:32,192
Burt Hummel.
136
00:05:36,730 --> 00:05:39,897
Hey. I'd like to talk to someone
about renting out this space.
137
00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:43,462
Okay, fellas, grab a gal, or...
138
00:05:43,530 --> 00:05:46,162
grab another fella if that's
the way the Good Lord made ya!
139
00:05:46,230 --> 00:05:50,200
'Cause it's a couples skate!
140
00:05:50,268 --> 00:05:51,836
No way.
141
00:05:51,904 --> 00:05:53,304
# #
142
00:05:53,372 --> 00:05:54,872
Well, as I live and breathe!
143
00:05:54,940 --> 00:05:57,007
Will Schuester?!
144
00:05:57,075 --> 00:05:58,475
I just had a sex dream
145
00:05:58,543 --> 00:06:00,944
about you! Aw, isn't he smokin'?
146
00:06:01,012 --> 00:06:02,646
April. April, please stop
speaking into the mic.
147
00:06:02,713 --> 00:06:05,048
Wait... I smell something.
148
00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:06,149
What?
149
00:06:06,216 --> 00:06:09,084
I smell a duet coming on! #Fire!#
150
00:06:09,152 --> 00:06:10,118
Springsteen! Hit it!
151
00:06:13,422 --> 00:06:15,123
April, what is going on here?
152
00:06:15,191 --> 00:06:16,458
You own this place?
153
00:06:16,525 --> 00:06:20,462
# I'm ridin' in your car #
154
00:06:20,530 --> 00:06:25,332
# You turn on the radio #
155
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:29,366
# You're pullin' me close #
156
00:06:29,434 --> 00:06:33,637
# I just say no #
157
00:06:33,705 --> 00:06:37,340
# I say I don't like it #
158
00:06:37,408 --> 00:06:41,377
# But you know I'm a liar #
159
00:06:41,444 --> 00:06:44,779
# 'Cause when we kiss #
160
00:06:44,847 --> 00:06:49,083
# Ooh... fire #
161
00:06:49,150 --> 00:06:52,753
# Late at night #
162
00:06:52,821 --> 00:06:54,322
# Ooh #
163
00:06:54,389 --> 00:06:57,324
# You're takin' me home #
164
00:06:57,391 --> 00:06:59,993
# You say you wanna stay #
165
00:07:00,061 --> 00:07:01,861
# I wanna stay #
166
00:07:01,929 --> 00:07:03,096
# I say #
167
00:07:03,164 --> 00:07:05,497
# I wanna be alone #
168
00:07:05,565 --> 00:07:09,500
# I say I don't love you #
169
00:07:09,568 --> 00:07:13,803
# But you know I'm a liar #
170
00:07:13,871 --> 00:07:17,273
# 'Cause when we kiss #
171
00:07:17,341 --> 00:07:21,111
# Ooh, fire #
172
00:07:21,179 --> 00:07:25,516
# Romeo and Juliet #
173
00:07:25,583 --> 00:07:30,186
# Samson and Delilah #
174
00:07:30,254 --> 00:07:32,487
# Oh, baby, you can bet #
175
00:07:34,356 --> 00:07:36,757
# A love they couldn't deny #
176
00:07:38,825 --> 00:07:40,993
# My words, they say split #
177
00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:42,961
# Yeah #
178
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:45,263
# But my words may lie #
179
00:07:45,331 --> 00:07:47,364
# May lie #
180
00:07:47,432 --> 00:07:49,666
# 'Cause when we kiss #
181
00:07:49,733 --> 00:07:54,035
# Ooh, fire. #
182
00:07:54,103 --> 00:07:55,269
April, what happened?
183
00:07:55,337 --> 00:07:57,071
I mean, last time I saw you,
184
00:07:57,138 --> 00:07:59,206
you were getting cleaned up,
headed off to Branson.
185
00:07:59,273 --> 00:08:01,274
I know. It's crazy, right?
186
00:08:01,341 --> 00:08:03,307
I was so jazzed about sobering up
187
00:08:03,375 --> 00:08:04,842
and starting a new life,
188
00:08:04,909 --> 00:08:07,177
I had to stop at a bar to get
a drink just to calm down.
189
00:08:07,244 --> 00:08:10,713
Then I hung out at that bar
for a few months or so.
190
00:08:10,780 --> 00:08:13,815
One day, an old codger,
about 75, 80, came in,
191
00:08:13,883 --> 00:08:15,651
and asked to buy me a drink.
192
00:08:15,719 --> 00:08:16,986
Get this.
193
00:08:17,054 --> 00:08:19,557
Buddy Leibowitz.
194
00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:22,526
Of Leibowitz Strip Malls?
I'm his new mistress.
195
00:08:22,594 --> 00:08:25,295
April, I really thought you were
serious about getting sober.
196
00:08:25,363 --> 00:08:27,631
No. Don't look so disappointed, Will.
197
00:08:27,699 --> 00:08:29,700
I mean, who are we kidding really?
198
00:08:29,767 --> 00:08:31,701
I'm nothing but a washed-up dreamer.
199
00:08:31,769 --> 00:08:34,070
It's all I'll ever be.
200
00:08:34,138 --> 00:08:36,639
Besides, I've finally realized
201
00:08:36,707 --> 00:08:39,709
my lifelong ambition of being a mistress
202
00:08:39,776 --> 00:08:42,478
to an incredibly wealthy strip mall tycoon
203
00:08:42,546 --> 00:08:46,882
and the owner-operator
of a cabaret roller rink.
204
00:08:46,950 --> 00:08:49,618
Um, listen, about that--
205
00:08:49,686 --> 00:08:51,920
well, the Glee Club kind of
needs some rehearsal space.
206
00:08:51,988 --> 00:08:54,655
Sue's commandeered the auditorium.
207
00:08:54,723 --> 00:08:56,856
Are you kidding? Bring 'em here.
208
00:08:56,924 --> 00:08:58,224
Really? Yeah.
209
00:08:58,292 --> 00:08:59,557
Oh, that would be amazing!
210
00:08:59,625 --> 00:09:01,025
And I promise, it's only temporary.
211
00:09:01,093 --> 00:09:02,092
Oh, you're the best.
212
00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:03,460
Listen, uh, I got to run.
213
00:09:03,527 --> 00:09:05,094
I've got an appointment to show my apartment.
214
00:09:05,162 --> 00:09:06,495
What's this, now?
215
00:09:06,562 --> 00:09:10,196
Yeah, so I need to rent out my apartment
216
00:09:10,264 --> 00:09:12,396
and find a smaller place to live.
217
00:09:12,464 --> 00:09:13,664
Uh...
218
00:09:13,731 --> 00:09:15,632
because I'm... I'm getting a divorce.
219
00:09:15,699 --> 00:09:17,934
Divorce?!
220
00:09:18,002 --> 00:09:20,033
So you're free to date?
221
00:09:20,100 --> 00:09:22,133
And by date, I mean sleep with people.
222
00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:24,667
And by sleep with,
I mean have sex with people.
223
00:09:24,735 --> 00:09:26,002
People like me.
224
00:09:26,069 --> 00:09:28,037
Kidding.
225
00:09:28,104 --> 00:09:30,338
Not really. But listen to this.
226
00:09:30,405 --> 00:09:31,438
You're looking for a subletter.
227
00:09:31,506 --> 00:09:33,940
I'm looking for a place to stay.
228
00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:35,275
One catch.
229
00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:37,410
I'm full-time fancy now, Will.
230
00:09:37,478 --> 00:09:39,145
I'm gonna want to check the place out.
231
00:09:39,213 --> 00:09:40,648
I'm gonna wanna check the #fungshwung,#
232
00:09:40,716 --> 00:09:42,184
or the #fing-fong,# or whatever they call it.
233
00:09:42,252 --> 00:09:43,187
Tell you what.
234
00:09:43,255 --> 00:09:44,424
I'm gonna go get myself
235
00:09:44,492 --> 00:09:45,858
a bikini wax,
236
00:09:45,926 --> 00:09:47,993
and I'm gonna see you tomorrow.
237
00:09:56,002 --> 00:09:57,434
I lost two pounds, Coach.
238
00:09:57,502 --> 00:09:59,765
Well, Becky, you are
assimilating beautifully.
239
00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:01,865
Instead of being different and an outcast,
240
00:10:01,933 --> 00:10:04,601
you're just like every other
teenage girl in America--
241
00:10:04,668 --> 00:10:06,769
sadly obsessed with vanity.
242
00:10:06,836 --> 00:10:08,203
Hey, before you know it, you'll be
243
00:10:08,271 --> 00:10:09,438
leaving little baggies of upchuck
244
00:10:09,505 --> 00:10:11,273
in your parents' linen closet.
245
00:10:11,341 --> 00:10:12,608
Congrats. I'm proud of you, kid.
246
00:10:12,676 --> 00:10:13,909
Thanks, Coach. You betcha.
247
00:10:13,977 --> 00:10:15,812
Next!
248
00:10:19,049 --> 00:10:21,016
Hey, you're still in your track uniform.
249
00:10:21,084 --> 00:10:23,385
Yup, and I'm ready for my midweek weigh-in.
250
00:10:23,453 --> 00:10:26,122
I've been eating very well,
and walking everywhere, and...
251
00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:27,424
Okay, well, climb aboard.
252
00:10:27,491 --> 00:10:30,560
Let's see how many libbies you lost.
253
00:10:31,829 --> 00:10:33,463
Well, look at that, Mercedes.
254
00:10:33,531 --> 00:10:34,866
You've gained two pounds.
255
00:10:34,934 --> 00:10:36,103
What?! That's impossible!
256
00:10:36,170 --> 00:10:38,005
Look, I'm gonna break it down for you.
257
00:10:38,072 --> 00:10:40,140
You have four days to lose the weight,
258
00:10:40,208 --> 00:10:41,941
get yourself in a uniform, or you're out.
259
00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:43,376
What am I gonna do?
260
00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:44,844
Well, you might try dropping the attitude.
261
00:10:44,911 --> 00:10:46,712
I'm sure there's a pound or two in that.
262
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:48,814
You know, with the Cheerios!,
we have only one lesson,
263
00:10:48,881 --> 00:10:49,748
and it's very simple lesson:
264
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:52,283
You do whatever it takes.
265
00:10:55,253 --> 00:10:56,519
Next.
266
00:10:57,721 --> 00:10:59,188
Kurt, hey! What-What the hell's
267
00:10:59,256 --> 00:11:00,689
going on with our parents?
268
00:11:00,757 --> 00:11:03,226
How did this happen?
When did they even meet each other?
269
00:11:03,294 --> 00:11:06,196
Parent-Teacher conference night,
about a month ago.
270
00:11:06,263 --> 00:11:08,363
I always accompany my father
to those conferences,
271
00:11:08,431 --> 00:11:09,696
to act as translator.
272
00:11:09,764 --> 00:11:12,064
How do you know this is not organic?
273
00:11:12,132 --> 00:11:14,266
Because you can see the logo.
It's encrusted in the cookie.
274
00:11:14,334 --> 00:11:15,768
Fate brought them together.
275
00:11:15,836 --> 00:11:17,870
Dad, meet Carole Hudson.
276
00:11:17,938 --> 00:11:19,339
Ms. Hudson, my father-- Burt Hummel.
277
00:11:19,406 --> 00:11:21,408
You both have dead spouses,
maybe you should talk.
278
00:11:21,475 --> 00:11:22,942
You know, I was just saying to a friend
279
00:11:23,010 --> 00:11:24,177
that acid wash should make a comeback.
280
00:11:24,245 --> 00:11:25,645
Mmm. Really.
281
00:11:25,713 --> 00:11:27,316
And who said it ever left?
282
00:11:27,383 --> 00:11:29,919
It was an instant connection.
283
00:11:29,986 --> 00:11:31,921
That's impossible.
284
00:11:31,988 --> 00:11:33,289
When will you learn that
nothing is impossible
285
00:11:33,356 --> 00:11:34,790
when it comes to love?
286
00:11:34,858 --> 00:11:37,325
Haven't you noticed anything
different about your mom?
287
00:11:37,393 --> 00:11:39,327
New clothes, new makeup,
288
00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:41,895
a haircut that doesn't look
like it was styled by the Amish?
289
00:11:41,963 --> 00:11:43,596
Who do you think Pretty Woman'ed her up?
290
00:11:43,664 --> 00:11:45,330
Has she started selling the furniture yet?
291
00:11:45,398 --> 00:11:47,198
Yeah, yeah, she just got
rid of her old bedroom set.
292
00:11:47,266 --> 00:11:49,800
And she tried to sell my dad's chair,
but I stopped her.
293
00:11:49,868 --> 00:11:51,568
How did you even know that?
294
00:11:51,636 --> 00:11:54,037
People our parents' age don't
wait around for love to bloom.
295
00:11:54,104 --> 00:11:55,605
They know what they want.
296
00:11:55,672 --> 00:11:58,373
I guess you and I will be
roommates with Mom and Dad
297
00:11:58,441 --> 00:11:59,774
cohabitating upstairs by midterms.
298
00:11:59,842 --> 00:12:02,243
No way. Give in to the inevitable, Finn.
299
00:12:02,311 --> 00:12:04,913
I want us to decide how to
redecorate our room together.
300
00:12:04,980 --> 00:12:06,748
That's why I asked you about the swatches.
301
00:12:06,816 --> 00:12:08,149
And don't sweat that old chair.
302
00:12:08,217 --> 00:12:10,051
I have a lovely chaise picked out.
303
00:12:10,119 --> 00:12:12,887
Look-Look, screw yo
u-your swatches and you-your #chez.#
304
00:12:12,955 --> 00:12:14,622
#Chaise.# Whatever, okay.
305
00:12:14,689 --> 00:12:16,223
Look, I-I like my house.
306
00:12:16,291 --> 00:12:19,359
I'm not moving, and she's not
selling that... that damn chair.
307
00:12:22,364 --> 00:12:23,397
A roller rink?!
308
00:12:23,465 --> 00:12:24,765
Weren't those outlawed in, like, 1981,
309
00:12:24,833 --> 00:12:27,266
for being totally lame?
310
00:12:27,334 --> 00:12:29,601
Oh, come on, guys,
where's your sense of adventure?
311
00:12:29,669 --> 00:12:31,669
The space is great and April is giving it
312
00:12:31,736 --> 00:12:33,136
to us to practice in for free.
313
00:12:33,204 --> 00:12:35,104
Mr. Shue, if I may?
314
00:12:38,441 --> 00:12:42,342
New Directions! is clearly a
club with a dearth of direction.
315
00:12:42,410 --> 00:12:43,844
Rachel and Jessie refuse to accept
316
00:12:43,911 --> 00:12:46,045
that all of us would rather die
317
00:12:46,113 --> 00:12:48,647
before we allow them to become
the next Beyoncé and Jay-Z.
318
00:12:48,715 --> 00:12:50,482
And Finn's mother's romance with my father
319
00:12:50,549 --> 00:12:54,319
is sending him into a wholly
unnecessary tailspin of despair.
320
00:12:55,955 --> 00:12:57,389
What we all need right now
321
00:12:57,457 --> 00:13:00,692
is to explore the idea of a sense of place
322
00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:03,494
and how, if we find that place within,
323
00:13:03,562 --> 00:13:05,062
we will get that happy ending.
324
00:13:05,130 --> 00:13:06,930
Brad, B flat.
325
00:13:16,474 --> 00:13:19,542
# A chair is still a chair #
326
00:13:19,610 --> 00:13:24,437
# Even when there's no one sitting there #
327
00:13:26,870 --> 00:13:29,600
# But a chair #
328
00:13:29,667 --> 00:13:31,968
# Is not a house #
329
00:13:32,036 --> 00:13:35,773
# And a house is not a home #
330
00:13:35,841 --> 00:13:39,811
# When there's no one there #
331
00:13:39,879 --> 00:13:43,950
# To hold you tight #
332
00:13:44,019 --> 00:13:46,821
# And no one there #
333
00:13:46,889 --> 00:13:50,791
# You... can... #
334
00:13:50,859 --> 00:13:58,338
# Kiss... good... night #
335
00:14:01,610 --> 00:14:05,747
# A room is still a room #
336
00:14:05,815 --> 00:14:10,318
# Even when there's nothing there but gloom #
337
00:14:13,122 --> 00:14:16,991
# But a room is not a house #
338
00:14:17,059 --> 00:14:20,161
# And a house is not a home #
339
00:14:20,229 --> 00:14:23,197
# When the two of us #
340
00:14:23,265 --> 00:14:26,000
# Are far apart #
341
00:14:26,068 --> 00:14:32,573
# And one of us has a broken heart #
342
00:14:34,810 --> 00:14:39,780
# Now and then I call your name #
343
00:14:39,848 --> 00:14:46,653
# And suddenly your face appears #
344
00:14:46,721 --> 00:14:52,225
# But it's just a crazy game #
345
00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:54,293
# And when it ends #
346
00:14:54,361 --> 00:15:01,166
# It ends in tears #
347
00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:08,673
# So, darling, have a heart #
348
00:15:08,740 --> 00:15:15,912
# Don't let one mistake keep us apart #
349
00:15:15,980 --> 00:15:19,682
# Well, I'm not meant to live alone #
350
00:15:19,749 --> 00:15:23,151
# Turn this house into a home #
351
00:15:23,219 --> 00:15:30,391
# When I climb the stair and turn the key #
352
00:15:30,458 --> 00:15:36,029
# Oh, please be there #
353
00:15:38,299 --> 00:15:43,236
# Still in love... #
354
00:15:43,304 --> 00:15:51,076
# With me. #
355
00:16:10,234 --> 00:16:11,567
Hiya, hot stuff.
356
00:16:11,635 --> 00:16:12,701
Hey, April.
357
00:16:12,769 --> 00:16:15,070
Um... come in.
358
00:16:15,138 --> 00:16:17,205
What's with the...
what's with the duffel bag?
359
00:16:17,272 --> 00:16:19,906
Can't have an overnighter
without an overnight bag.
360
00:16:19,973 --> 00:16:21,373
Overnight?
361
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:23,207
Baby, I'm an artist-- I don't go by brains,
362
00:16:23,275 --> 00:16:25,240
I go by feel.
363
00:16:25,308 --> 00:16:27,009
I need to settle in to
the energy of the place,
364
00:16:27,076 --> 00:16:28,643
get to know the ghosts.
365
00:16:28,711 --> 00:16:29,778
Won't Buddy miss you?
366
00:16:29,845 --> 00:16:31,045
Oh, he's out of town.
367
00:16:31,113 --> 00:16:33,083
Something about buying a new kidney
368
00:16:33,151 --> 00:16:34,653
or lung.
369
00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:36,455
Look, April, I'm really not comfortable
370
00:16:36,522 --> 00:16:38,023
with any of this.
371
00:16:38,090 --> 00:16:39,724
I'm not looking for a hookup, Will.
372
00:16:39,792 --> 00:16:42,025
I just sleep better with
someone inside the house.
373
00:16:43,761 --> 00:16:46,762
I guess I've been just feeling
a little lonely, you know?
374
00:16:46,829 --> 00:16:48,463
Yeah. I know.
375
00:16:48,530 --> 00:16:49,897
Just one night?
376
00:16:51,900 --> 00:16:54,500
Oh, look, do you want to
sublet this place quick or not?
377
00:16:54,568 --> 00:16:56,868
Okay, fine, but you get the couch.
378
00:16:56,936 --> 00:16:58,170
And no funny business.
379
00:17:00,139 --> 00:17:01,840
Um...
380
00:17:01,908 --> 00:17:04,075
bathroom is right around the corner.
381
00:17:04,143 --> 00:17:06,377
Sometimes you just need a little Burt.
382
00:17:06,445 --> 00:17:08,613
Take whatever you want from the refrigerator.
383
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:09,713
April.
384
00:17:11,049 --> 00:17:12,481
The liquor cabinet is off-limits.
385
00:17:12,549 --> 00:17:14,583
Oh, no worries-- brought my own.
386
00:17:16,552 --> 00:17:18,120
Good night, April.
387
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:21,990
G'night, Will.
388
00:17:27,467 --> 00:17:34,911
# One less bell to answer #
389
00:17:34,978 --> 00:17:40,918
# One less egg to fry #
390
00:17:40,985 --> 00:17:44,757
# One less man #
391
00:17:44,824 --> 00:17:48,126
# To pick up after #
392
00:17:48,194 --> 00:17:52,263
# I should be happy #
393
00:17:52,331 --> 00:17:56,902
# But all I do is cry #
394
00:17:56,969 --> 00:17:59,837
# Cry, cry #
395
00:17:59,905 --> 00:18:02,373
# No more laughter #
396
00:18:02,441 --> 00:18:04,975
# Oh, I should be happy #
397
00:18:05,043 --> 00:18:09,479
# Oh, why did she go...? #
398
00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:12,815
# I only know that since he left #
399
00:18:12,882 --> 00:18:17,886
# My life's so empty #
400
00:18:17,953 --> 00:18:19,821
# Oh # # Though I try to forget #
401
00:18:19,889 --> 00:18:22,958
# It just can't be done #
402
00:18:23,026 --> 00:18:28,936
# Each time the doorbell rings, I still run #
403
00:18:29,003 --> 00:18:33,976
# I don't know how in the world #
404
00:18:34,044 --> 00:18:36,614
# To stop thinking of him #
405
00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:38,949
# I should be happy #
406
00:18:39,017 --> 00:18:43,887
# 'Cause I still love him so #
407
00:18:43,955 --> 00:18:48,625
# I end each day the way I
start out # # I start and end #
408
00:18:48,692 --> 00:18:52,929
# Crying my heart out # # Each day crying #
409
00:18:52,996 --> 00:18:58,099
# One less bell to answer #
410
00:18:58,167 --> 00:19:06,807
# One less egg to fry #
411
00:19:06,874 --> 00:19:10,043
# One less man # # One less man #
412
00:19:10,110 --> 00:19:12,678
# To pick up after #
413
00:19:12,746 --> 00:19:16,648
# No more laughter # # No more #
414
00:19:16,716 --> 00:19:23,421
# No more love... #
415
00:19:23,489 --> 00:19:27,057
# Since he went away #
416
00:19:27,124 --> 00:19:29,959
# Since she #
417
00:19:30,027 --> 00:19:33,728
# Went away # # Since he #
418
00:19:33,796 --> 00:19:38,432
# Went away #
419
00:19:41,536 --> 00:19:46,772
# Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh... #
420
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:50,275
# A chair is still a chair #
421
00:19:50,343 --> 00:19:56,447
# Even when there's no one sitting there #
422
00:19:56,515 --> 00:20:00,717
# Well, I'm not meant to live alone #
423
00:20:00,785 --> 00:20:05,054
# Turn this house into a home #
424
00:20:05,122 --> 00:20:11,392
# When I climb the stair and turn the key #
425
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:18,835
# Oh, please be there #
426
00:20:18,903 --> 00:20:25,779
# Still in love #
427
00:20:25,846 --> 00:20:31,786
# With me... # # One less bell to answer #
428
00:20:31,854 --> 00:20:35,623
# Each time the doorbell rings #
429
00:20:35,691 --> 00:20:38,560
# I still run... #
430
00:20:38,627 --> 00:20:42,630
# One less egg to fry #
431
00:20:42,698 --> 00:20:46,067
# I've got one less man # # One less man... #
432
00:20:46,135 --> 00:20:49,304
# To pick up after #
433
00:20:49,372 --> 00:20:52,540
# No more # # No more laughter #
434
00:20:52,608 --> 00:20:58,680
# No more love #
435
00:20:58,747 --> 00:21:02,216
# Since he #
436
00:21:02,284 --> 00:21:03,951
# Went away # # Since she #
437
00:21:04,019 --> 00:21:08,252
# Went away # # Since he #
438
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:12,383
# Went away #
439
00:21:12,450 --> 00:21:19,948
: # All I do #
440
00:21:20,016 --> 00:21:24,118
# Is #
441
00:21:24,186 --> 00:21:35,662
# Cry. #
442
00:21:37,831 --> 00:21:39,866
Good night, Will.
443
00:21:39,933 --> 00:21:42,401
Good night, April.
444
00:21:49,009 --> 00:21:50,576
A toast.
445
00:21:50,644 --> 00:21:53,179
Tonight is a momentous occasion.
446
00:21:53,246 --> 00:21:55,781
It marks the first rea
communion between the Hummel
447
00:21:55,849 --> 00:21:57,749
and the Hudson clans.
448
00:21:57,817 --> 00:21:58,917
I imagine that when the Bouviers
449
00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:00,518
and the Kennedys first broke bread,
450
00:22:00,586 --> 00:22:03,521
there was a similar sense of joy and urgency.
451
00:22:03,589 --> 00:22:05,456
So let me raise my Shirley Temple
452
00:22:05,524 --> 00:22:07,257
to our new little family.
453
00:22:07,325 --> 00:22:09,993
Aw... We're not a family.
454
00:22:10,061 --> 00:22:11,394
Finn...
455
00:22:11,462 --> 00:22:13,363
It's cool. You're right.
456
00:22:13,431 --> 00:22:15,899
Your mom and I just enjoy each
other's company right now.
457
00:22:15,966 --> 00:22:17,066
Let's just enjoy dinner.
458
00:22:17,134 --> 00:22:18,201
I mean, I'm buying, right?
459
00:22:20,938 --> 00:22:22,004
What you, playing basketball now?
460
00:22:22,072 --> 00:22:23,305
Yeah, but I actually
461
00:22:23,373 --> 00:22:24,640
kind of like football better.
462
00:22:24,708 --> 00:22:25,974
I didn't know that.
463
00:22:26,042 --> 00:22:27,709
Sounds crazy, but I miss getting hit.
464
00:22:27,777 --> 00:22:29,945
Pure boyish insanity.
465
00:22:30,012 --> 00:22:30,945
No, it isn't.
466
00:22:31,013 --> 00:22:32,280
I totally get that.
467
00:22:32,347 --> 00:22:33,681
I used to love the feeling
468
00:22:33,749 --> 00:22:34,816
of getting my clock cleaned
469
00:22:34,883 --> 00:22:35,816
and then popping right up.
470
00:22:35,884 --> 00:22:37,051
Kind of reminded me
471
00:22:37,118 --> 00:22:38,084
of being alive. Yeah.
472
00:22:38,152 --> 00:22:39,485
Why hasn't anyone commented
473
00:22:39,553 --> 00:22:41,353
on the new jeans I got Carole?
474
00:22:41,420 --> 00:22:42,820
Oh, come on.
475
00:22:42,887 --> 00:22:44,154
Notice that the waistband falls
well below the belly button.
476
00:22:44,221 --> 00:22:46,386
A welcome change.
477
00:22:46,454 --> 00:22:47,720
Sure, Kurt. Hey, you know, I sell tires
478
00:22:47,788 --> 00:22:49,289
to one of the assistant
coaches from the Browns.
479
00:22:49,356 --> 00:22:52,123
I can probably get you tickets,
if you want to go.
480
00:22:52,191 --> 00:22:54,554
That'd be awesome. I've never
been to an NFL game live before.
481
00:22:54,622 --> 00:22:55,755
Well, no problem.
482
00:22:55,823 --> 00:22:57,855
FINN : Wow. You know,
483
00:22:57,923 --> 00:23:00,123
for a place called Breadstix,
these really suck.
484
00:23:03,885 --> 00:23:05,718
It's really just stale bread.
485
00:23:05,785 --> 00:23:07,286
Yeah...
486
00:23:08,521 --> 00:23:10,088
Hey.
487
00:23:10,156 --> 00:23:11,756
You finally choose one?
488
00:23:11,823 --> 00:23:13,324
No. They're all wrong.
489
00:23:13,391 --> 00:23:14,758
Well, they all look like gray to me.
490
00:23:14,825 --> 00:23:16,058
Well, maybe if they were
491
00:23:16,126 --> 00:23:17,392
different colored sports uniforms,
492
00:23:17,460 --> 00:23:19,528
you'd work harder to try and tell them apart.
493
00:23:19,596 --> 00:23:21,396
I knew it. I knew when I started in
494
00:23:21,464 --> 00:23:23,198
on the football with Finn,
you'd take it personal.
495
00:23:23,266 --> 00:23:24,833
How could I not, Dad?
496
00:23:24,901 --> 00:23:26,234
When was the last time
497
00:23:26,302 --> 00:23:28,336
you were that engaged in
a conversation with me?
498
00:23:28,404 --> 00:23:30,739
I'm sorry. I don't know what you want here.
499
00:23:30,807 --> 00:23:32,607
What I want is for you to appreciate
500
00:23:32,675 --> 00:23:35,576
how hard it is for me to
watch you bond with the son
501
00:23:35,644 --> 00:23:36,744
that you've obviously always wanted.
502
00:23:36,812 --> 00:23:38,479
Oh, suddenly I'm not the guy
503
00:23:38,546 --> 00:23:40,947
who sat through Riverdance three years in a
row?
504
00:23:41,015 --> 00:23:44,317
Look, Kurt, I love you,
505
00:23:44,385 --> 00:23:46,484
and I am sympathetic to all of your stuff,
506
00:23:46,552 --> 00:23:48,651
but come on, buddy, we got a deal here.
507
00:23:48,719 --> 00:23:50,786
Right? I don't try to change you,
508
00:23:50,854 --> 00:23:52,386
you don't try to change me.
509
00:23:52,454 --> 00:23:54,821
You are my son,
510
00:23:54,889 --> 00:23:57,222
and a little guy talk with some other kid
511
00:23:57,290 --> 00:23:58,856
isn't gonna change that.
512
00:23:58,923 --> 00:24:00,857
Guy talk?
513
00:24:00,924 --> 00:24:02,925
I'm a guy.
514
00:24:02,993 --> 00:24:05,360
Well, come on, you know what I mean.
515
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:08,995
Maybe I was wrong.
516
00:24:09,063 --> 00:24:10,797
Maybe it is too soon
517
00:24:10,865 --> 00:24:12,765
for you to start getting
serious with someone.
518
00:24:14,367 --> 00:24:17,068
Your mom's been dead eight years,
you know that.
519
00:24:24,307 --> 00:24:25,940
Why'd you fix me up with Carole, huh?
520
00:24:26,008 --> 00:24:27,241
Wasn't it to make me happy?
521
00:24:27,309 --> 00:24:28,608
'Cause that's what you told me.
522
00:24:28,676 --> 00:24:31,110
Can you go now?
523
00:24:31,178 --> 00:24:33,545
I'm a half an hour behind
on my moisturizing routine,
524
00:24:33,612 --> 00:24:35,279
and I need to get up early.
525
00:24:42,651 --> 00:24:45,185
Do you want half of my peppermint patty?
526
00:24:45,253 --> 00:24:47,120
No. I don't put junk in my body.
527
00:24:47,188 --> 00:24:48,554
Why are you doing this?
528
00:24:48,622 --> 00:24:50,422
We like you no matter how you look.
529
00:24:50,489 --> 00:24:52,290
And those shake diets are really unhealthy.
530
00:24:52,358 --> 00:24:53,458
They also don't really work.
531
00:24:53,525 --> 00:24:54,892
As soon as you go off them,
532
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:56,227
you gain back the weight you lost.
533
00:24:56,294 --> 00:24:58,495
You know what? I don't want to hear it!
534
00:24:58,563 --> 00:25:01,898
You have no idea how much I'm
sacrificing to be a Cheerio!
535
00:25:01,966 --> 00:25:03,232
To look fantastic.
536
00:25:03,300 --> 00:25:04,934
To finally fit in at this school.
537
00:25:07,908 --> 00:25:11,013
We're just trying to look out for you.
538
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:12,783
We just want you to be healthy.
539
00:25:12,851 --> 00:25:14,219
Stop getting all up in my face,
540
00:25:14,287 --> 00:25:15,790
telling me what I can and cannot do.
541
00:25:15,858 --> 00:25:18,661
And I'm really hungry,
so stop trying to get me to eat you!
542
00:25:18,729 --> 00:25:20,763
Hold up. Did she just say
she wanted to eat us?
543
00:25:23,233 --> 00:25:25,133
The point is that Fanny Brice is
544
00:25:25,201 --> 00:25:26,534
the most iconic work.
545
00:25:26,602 --> 00:25:29,503
Aw, damn.
546
00:25:36,447 --> 00:25:37,880
Your blood pressure's low.
547
00:25:37,948 --> 00:25:39,949
Maybe that's why you fainted.
548
00:25:40,016 --> 00:25:41,717
Your mom will be here soon.
549
00:25:41,784 --> 00:25:43,552
I'll go and get you some ginger ale.
550
00:25:51,059 --> 00:25:54,193
Thanks. I'm not hungry.
551
00:25:54,261 --> 00:25:55,361
Yes, you are.
552
00:25:55,428 --> 00:25:57,195
You're starving.
553
00:25:57,263 --> 00:25:58,696
I know. I've been there.
554
00:26:00,999 --> 00:26:02,732
Did all the other kids
start looking like food
555
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:03,800
right before you fainted?
556
00:26:03,867 --> 00:26:07,169
- Yeah. How'd you know?
- Been there.
557
00:26:07,237 --> 00:26:10,650
...Eat the granola bar.
558
00:26:11,342 --> 00:26:13,642
Why are you being so nice to me?
559
00:26:13,810 --> 00:26:16,278
I can't remember the last time
560
00:26:16,345 --> 00:26:19,080
you said two words to me that
weren't #you# and #suck.#
561
00:26:19,148 --> 00:26:22,783
'Cause I was you-- scared.
562
00:26:22,851 --> 00:26:24,852
Hating myself for eating a cookie.
563
00:26:24,919 --> 00:26:26,820
But I got over it.
564
00:26:26,888 --> 00:26:28,155
Yeah, of course you did,
565
00:26:28,222 --> 00:26:30,390
Miss Pretty Blonde with the white girl ass.
566
00:26:30,457 --> 00:26:32,691
When you start eating for somebody else,
567
00:26:32,759 --> 00:26:35,460
so that they can grow and be healthy,
568
00:26:35,528 --> 00:26:37,461
your relationship to food changes.
569
00:26:37,529 --> 00:26:39,563
What I realized is that
570
00:26:39,631 --> 00:26:42,698
if I'm so willing to eat right
to take care of this baby,
571
00:26:42,766 --> 00:26:44,867
why am I not willing to do it for myself?
572
00:26:46,670 --> 00:26:47,970
You are so lucky.
573
00:26:49,439 --> 00:26:51,506
You've always been at home in your body.
574
00:26:52,641 --> 00:26:55,208
Don't let Ms. Sylvester
take that away from you.
575
00:26:58,313 --> 00:27:00,580
I'm so embarrassed.
576
00:27:02,383 --> 00:27:04,250
This isn't me.
577
00:27:06,553 --> 00:27:08,287
How did I become this person?
578
00:27:11,990 --> 00:27:13,824
You are beautiful.
579
00:27:16,228 --> 00:27:17,728
You know that.
580
00:27:20,865 --> 00:27:24,333
I'm gonna stay here with you
until your mom comes, okay?
581
00:27:27,303 --> 00:27:31,206
# Home sweet home #
582
00:27:31,273 --> 00:27:33,207
# Tonight, tonight... #
583
00:27:33,275 --> 00:27:36,043
I don't think this is gonna work out.
584
00:27:36,111 --> 00:27:39,512
So, I'm thinking about closing up early.
585
00:27:39,580 --> 00:27:41,414
Want to order a pizza,
586
00:27:41,481 --> 00:27:43,949
maybe snuggle up, pop in a movie?
587
00:27:44,017 --> 00:27:46,184
I don't think we should make a habit
588
00:27:46,251 --> 00:27:47,385
of spending the night together.
589
00:27:47,452 --> 00:27:49,387
All we did was sleep.
590
00:27:49,455 --> 00:27:50,755
No. All you did was sleep.
591
00:27:50,822 --> 00:27:52,856
I was up all night with you kicking me.
592
00:27:52,924 --> 00:27:55,926
Sorry. Them's the night terrors.
593
00:27:55,994 --> 00:27:59,095
Look, I'm in the middle
of a divorce, and you...
594
00:27:59,163 --> 00:28:01,431
Are you really where you want to be?
595
00:28:01,498 --> 00:28:04,265
I mean, being somebody's mistress?
596
00:28:04,333 --> 00:28:06,401
Don't you think you deserve
a little bit more than that?
597
00:28:06,468 --> 00:28:09,003
You can be the life of the party every night
598
00:28:09,070 --> 00:28:10,504
and drink till you can't see straight,
599
00:28:10,572 --> 00:28:14,073
but you're always going to feel empty inside
600
00:28:14,141 --> 00:28:16,876
until you really find a home.
601
00:28:16,943 --> 00:28:20,512
# I'm on my way... #
602
00:28:20,579 --> 00:28:22,481
But, listen, if you need a
place to stay tonight...
603
00:28:22,548 --> 00:28:23,582
No.
604
00:28:23,649 --> 00:28:25,216
No.
605
00:28:25,284 --> 00:28:26,584
You're right.
606
00:28:26,652 --> 00:28:28,786
You're right. I am worth more than that.
607
00:28:30,555 --> 00:28:32,256
Tonight, I'm gonna go over to Buddy's,
608
00:28:32,323 --> 00:28:33,924
and I'm gonna tell him we're through.
609
00:28:33,991 --> 00:28:35,658
If he still had the powers of speech,
610
00:28:35,726 --> 00:28:36,959
I'm sure he'd be thankful.
611
00:28:37,027 --> 00:28:40,762
You know, RinkyDinks loses $8,000 a night.
612
00:28:40,830 --> 00:28:42,764
Turns out, roller rinks--
613
00:28:42,832 --> 00:28:46,467
not so profitable.
614
00:28:55,475 --> 00:28:58,943
You always give me the right advice,
Mr. Schuester.
615
00:28:59,011 --> 00:29:00,978
See you around.
616
00:29:10,355 --> 00:29:13,323
Finn, we need to talk.
617
00:29:13,391 --> 00:29:15,659
We have to break up our parents immediately.
618
00:29:17,061 --> 00:29:19,162
I screwed up.
619
00:29:19,230 --> 00:29:21,830
I feel like the guy who set
up Liza and David Gest.
620
00:29:21,898 --> 00:29:24,032
It hurt you, didn't it?
621
00:29:24,099 --> 00:29:26,901
When I was talking sports
with your dad and stuff.
622
00:29:26,969 --> 00:29:28,269
I could tell that you were...
623
00:29:28,337 --> 00:29:30,437
Left out?
624
00:29:30,505 --> 00:29:32,171
Invisible?
625
00:29:32,239 --> 00:29:33,639
Yeah.
626
00:29:33,708 --> 00:29:36,911
I don't like that my mom's
forgetting about my dad.
627
00:29:36,978 --> 00:29:39,512
It's up to me to keep his memory alive,
628
00:29:39,580 --> 00:29:42,181
and I don't want to move in with you.
629
00:29:42,249 --> 00:29:44,383
No offense. None taken.
630
00:29:45,585 --> 00:29:47,286
So we put an end to them.
631
00:29:47,353 --> 00:29:49,121
Agreed?
632
00:29:49,189 --> 00:29:51,757
Agreed.
633
00:29:56,796 --> 00:29:58,663
What are you doing?
634
00:29:58,731 --> 00:30:00,599
I'm going to flush Dad's
ashes down the toilet.
635
00:30:02,802 --> 00:30:05,170
Have you lost your mind?!
636
00:30:05,238 --> 00:30:08,272
What? I'm just doing the same
thing you're doing to him.
637
00:30:08,340 --> 00:30:09,938
What's the point of
keeping his remains around
638
00:30:10,006 --> 00:30:12,637
if you're just gonna dump
them out like an old ashtray?
639
00:30:12,703 --> 00:30:14,569
Fine.
640
00:30:16,839 --> 00:30:19,140
What are you doing? What you want.
641
00:30:19,207 --> 00:30:20,207
What we've been doing
642
00:30:20,275 --> 00:30:22,676
for the last 15 years-- pretending.
643
00:30:22,744 --> 00:30:26,113
Come on, Finn, let's sit
and watch TV as a family.
644
00:30:26,181 --> 00:30:27,514
Look! There's a basketball game on.
645
00:30:27,582 --> 00:30:29,316
Your dad would've liked to watch that.
646
00:30:29,383 --> 00:30:30,550
What do you think, Christopher?
647
00:30:30,618 --> 00:30:31,751
Mom, you're being crazy.
648
00:30:31,819 --> 00:30:33,019
And you're being selfish.
649
00:30:34,088 --> 00:30:37,557
I like Burt. I-I...
650
00:30:37,624 --> 00:30:40,793
I haven't felt this way about
a guy since your dad died.
651
00:30:40,860 --> 00:30:43,295
At least not one who felt it back.
652
00:30:43,363 --> 00:30:45,497
This family works.
I don't want it to get screwed up!
653
00:30:45,565 --> 00:30:47,765
This family manages.
654
00:30:47,833 --> 00:30:50,802
We get by.
655
00:30:50,869 --> 00:30:52,937
You just don't know any differently because
656
00:30:53,005 --> 00:30:54,372
you think what we have is normal.
657
00:31:03,180 --> 00:31:05,582
I do this with him every night.
658
00:31:07,418 --> 00:31:09,485
I take the urn to bed with me,
659
00:31:09,553 --> 00:31:11,920
and I talk to him about my day.
660
00:31:11,988 --> 00:31:14,455
16 years,
661
00:31:14,523 --> 00:31:18,491
I've been asking him for advice and...
662
00:31:20,727 --> 00:31:22,594
...and waiting to hear his laugh,
663
00:31:22,661 --> 00:31:24,762
and for him to tell me that he loves me.
664
00:31:27,931 --> 00:31:29,764
And he never does.
665
00:31:31,166 --> 00:31:32,500
And he never will.
666
00:31:36,670 --> 00:31:38,804
I won't do it. I'm not moving. I'm not ready.
667
00:31:38,871 --> 00:31:41,239
And he wouldn't want you to
do this if I wasn't ready.
668
00:31:41,307 --> 00:31:43,942
You didn't know him, Finn.
669
00:31:47,547 --> 00:31:53,518
Sweetheart, love you so much.
670
00:31:53,586 --> 00:31:57,189
We don't need any more memories or ghosts.
671
00:31:57,256 --> 00:32:01,493
We need a family. A home.
672
00:32:18,017 --> 00:32:20,185
Well, with a name like Tracy,
673
00:32:20,253 --> 00:32:22,153
I assumed you were a lady.
674
00:32:22,221 --> 00:32:24,588
Quite a turnout
675
00:32:24,656 --> 00:32:25,955
for a pep rally.
676
00:32:26,022 --> 00:32:27,354
On assembly days, I arrange
677
00:32:27,422 --> 00:32:29,589
for the rest of the school to be fumigated,
678
00:32:29,657 --> 00:32:32,626
leaving the gymnasium the only
place with breathable air.
679
00:32:32,694 --> 00:32:34,029
Oh, come on. Thas clever.
680
00:32:34,097 --> 00:32:36,299
You might want to start writing
down my little bon mots.
681
00:32:36,366 --> 00:32:37,934
I'm gonna be dropping some beauties on you.
682
00:32:38,002 --> 00:32:40,669
You know, this is just a freelance job.
683
00:32:40,737 --> 00:32:42,771
I was short-listed for the Pulitzer last year
684
00:32:42,839 --> 00:32:44,041
for my Newsweek piece
685
00:32:44,109 --> 00:32:45,710
on high school athletes going pro.
686
00:32:45,778 --> 00:32:48,947
So my cover story isn't a fluff piece?
687
00:32:49,015 --> 00:32:50,949
Nope. Hard-hitting investigation.
688
00:33:03,261 --> 00:33:07,063
Feast your ears on this smokin' intro.
689
00:33:09,032 --> 00:33:11,066
In a few seconds.
690
00:33:11,134 --> 00:33:12,968
It's so important to build the tension.
691
00:33:18,540 --> 00:33:19,707
What is she doing?
692
00:33:22,977 --> 00:33:24,077
Hey, guys.
693
00:33:24,145 --> 00:33:25,778
I'm Mercedes Jones.
694
00:33:27,047 --> 00:33:29,348
So most of you know
695
00:33:29,415 --> 00:33:32,117
Cheerios! is about perfection and winning,
696
00:33:32,184 --> 00:33:34,686
looking hot and being popular.
697
00:33:34,753 --> 00:33:38,455
Still building the tension.
698
00:33:41,025 --> 00:33:44,293
Well, I think that it should
be about something different.
699
00:33:46,896 --> 00:33:49,998
How many of you at this school feel fat?
700
00:33:52,467 --> 00:33:54,001
How many of you feel like
701
00:33:54,068 --> 00:33:55,702
maybe you're not worth very much?
702
00:33:57,738 --> 00:33:59,238
Or you're ugly, or you have too many pimples
703
00:33:59,306 --> 00:34:03,542
and not enough friends?
704
00:34:03,644 --> 00:34:05,377
Well, I felt all those things about myself
705
00:34:05,445 --> 00:34:07,179
at one time or another.
706
00:34:09,482 --> 00:34:12,818
Hell, I felt most of those
things about myself today.
707
00:34:12,886 --> 00:34:15,554
And that just ain't right.
708
00:34:15,622 --> 00:34:18,924
And we've got something to say about it.
709
00:34:18,992 --> 00:34:20,892
And if you like what we have to say,
710
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:23,962
come down here and sing it with us.
711
00:34:27,399 --> 00:34:33,136
# Ooh, ooh, ooh, ah #
712
00:34:33,204 --> 00:34:36,439
# Yeah #
713
00:34:37,641 --> 00:34:42,478
# Every day is so wonderful #
714
00:34:42,546 --> 00:34:45,080
# And suddenly #
715
00:34:45,148 --> 00:34:48,285
# It's hard to breathe #
716
00:34:50,357 --> 00:34:54,423
# Now and then I get insecure #
717
00:34:54,491 --> 00:34:57,925
# From all the pain #
718
00:34:57,993 --> 00:35:00,893
# I'm so ashamed #
719
00:35:02,759 --> 00:35:04,991
# I am beautiful #
720
00:35:05,059 --> 00:35:08,595
# No matter what they say #
721
00:35:08,663 --> 00:35:13,399
# Words can't bring me down #
722
00:35:15,669 --> 00:35:20,838
# I am beautiful in every single way #
723
00:35:20,906 --> 00:35:25,775
# Yes, words can't bring me down #
724
00:35:25,843 --> 00:35:28,311
# Oh, no #
725
00:35:28,378 --> 00:35:32,612
# So don't you bring me down today #
726
00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:36,946
# No matter what we do # # No matter what we
do #
727
00:35:37,013 --> 00:35:40,178
# No matter what we say # # We're
the song that's outta tune #
728
00:35:40,246 --> 00:35:45,049
# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah # # Full of beautiful mistakes #
729
00:35:45,117 --> 00:35:49,392
# And everywhere we go # # And everywhere we
go #
730
00:35:49,460 --> 00:35:53,560
# The sun will always, always #
731
00:35:53,628 --> 00:35:55,996
# Shine #
732
00:35:56,064 --> 00:35:58,766
# 'Cause we are beautiful #
733
00:35:58,834 --> 00:36:01,702
# No matter what they say #
734
00:36:01,770 --> 00:36:06,472
# Yes, words won't bring us down #
735
00:36:06,540 --> 00:36:08,541
# Oh, no #
736
00:36:08,608 --> 00:36:11,242
# Ah... # # We are beautiful #
737
00:36:11,310 --> 00:36:13,911
# In every single way #
738
00:36:13,979 --> 00:36:18,448
# Yes, words can't bring us down #
739
00:36:18,515 --> 00:36:22,183
# Oh, oh, oh #
740
00:36:22,251 --> 00:36:27,056
# So don't you bring me down today # # Ooh,
ooh-ooh, ooh... #
741
00:36:28,258 --> 00:36:32,461
# Oh, oh, oh #
742
00:36:32,529 --> 00:36:34,263
# Oh #
743
00:36:34,331 --> 00:36:39,434
# Don't you bring me down today #
744
00:36:39,502 --> 00:36:42,103
# Hey... #
745
00:36:42,170 --> 00:36:45,273
# Yeah #
746
00:36:45,340 --> 00:36:48,209
# Oh # # Ooh... #
747
00:36:48,277 --> 00:36:52,711
# Don't you bring me down #
748
00:36:52,779 --> 00:36:58,181
# Today. #
749
00:37:05,923 --> 00:37:08,124
We can finish this interview
in your office tomorrow.
750
00:37:13,029 --> 00:37:18,365
Thank you. I was wrong.
751
00:37:25,844 --> 00:37:26,944
Mr. Pendergrass, let me explain.
752
00:37:27,011 --> 00:37:28,678
Just have a seat.
753
00:37:28,746 --> 00:37:31,681
Oh. Not used to taking orders
754
00:37:31,749 --> 00:37:33,617
in my own office.
755
00:37:33,685 --> 00:37:36,154
Sue, when I met you,
I instantly disliked you.
756
00:37:36,222 --> 00:37:37,957
You're bossy, insulting,
757
00:37:38,025 --> 00:37:40,094
and the fact that twice you called me Rerun
758
00:37:40,162 --> 00:37:42,530
makes me think you're a little racist.
759
00:37:42,598 --> 00:37:44,631
I came here to write a piece
760
00:37:44,699 --> 00:37:47,502
that would expose you
as a coward and a cheat.
761
00:37:47,570 --> 00:37:49,271
I could not have been more wrong.
762
00:37:49,339 --> 00:37:51,206
Beg pardon?
763
00:37:51,274 --> 00:37:53,008
You got every shape and
size Cheerio! up there
764
00:37:53,076 --> 00:37:55,143
singing about empowerment and inclusion,
765
00:37:55,211 --> 00:37:59,446
telling everyone it's okay to
be exactly the person you are.
766
00:37:59,514 --> 00:38:00,981
You're a visionary,
767
00:38:01,049 --> 00:38:03,550
and I think redefining cheerleading.
768
00:38:03,618 --> 00:38:05,518
Bravo.
769
00:38:05,586 --> 00:38:08,388
Well, thank you, uh, Mr. Pendergrass.
770
00:38:08,456 --> 00:38:11,424
I... I can't say I'm surprised.
771
00:38:11,492 --> 00:38:14,860
Um, you know, I work so hard
772
00:38:14,928 --> 00:38:18,163
to get my girls feeling
good about themselves,
773
00:38:18,230 --> 00:38:20,098
becae it's what's inside that counts.
774
00:38:20,165 --> 00:38:21,665
It's an honor, Coach.
775
00:38:21,733 --> 00:38:23,667
When this hits the stands,
776
00:38:23,735 --> 00:38:25,702
it could mean big things for you.
777
00:38:35,412 --> 00:38:37,212
What are you doing here?
Did you already move in?
778
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:38,981
No, your mom invited me.
779
00:38:39,048 --> 00:38:41,415
She thought you and I
could have a man-to-man.
780
00:38:41,482 --> 00:38:43,781
Good, you know, 'cause I got
a lot to say about this.
781
00:38:43,849 --> 00:38:46,746
Well, I don't, so let me go first.
782
00:38:46,814 --> 00:38:49,913
You're pissed, I get it.
783
00:38:49,981 --> 00:38:52,317
Your dad is a hero,
784
00:38:52,384 --> 00:38:55,019
not only to the world for
what he did in Desert Storm,
785
00:38:55,087 --> 00:38:57,354
but he's a hero to you.
786
00:38:57,421 --> 00:39:00,189
No way I can fill his shoes.
787
00:39:02,458 --> 00:39:04,392
It's just, you know...
788
00:39:04,460 --> 00:39:05,526
I love your mom.
789
00:39:07,729 --> 00:39:09,996
She's like this angel that,
you know, came down
790
00:39:10,064 --> 00:39:12,131
to wake me up after all these years,
791
00:39:12,199 --> 00:39:14,734
and I swear to you I will never hurt her,
792
00:39:14,801 --> 00:39:17,669
I will always take care of her.
793
00:39:17,737 --> 00:39:19,171
And I can't be your dad,
794
00:39:19,238 --> 00:39:22,974
but I will be her hero for
as long as she'll take me.
795
00:39:26,211 --> 00:39:27,511
All right, I've said my piece.
796
00:39:27,579 --> 00:39:28,845
What do you want to say?
797
00:39:31,648 --> 00:39:35,350
Just... want to know if
you want to watch a game.
798
00:39:38,521 --> 00:39:40,488
Sure.
799
00:39:45,993 --> 00:39:47,527
Hold up.
800
00:39:49,129 --> 00:39:52,497
You can sit here if you want.
801
00:40:09,614 --> 00:40:11,481
You know, I hate Duke like I hate thNazis.
802
00:40:14,452 --> 00:40:16,052
Tell me about it.
803
00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:19,990
This team, every year,
they recruit these guys and, uh...
804
00:40:29,867 --> 00:40:31,934
I-I don't know what to say.
805
00:40:32,002 --> 00:40:33,235
Just say congratulations.
806
00:40:33,303 --> 00:40:34,736
I took your advice.
807
00:40:34,804 --> 00:40:37,604
I went home, I told Buddy that
if he wantedo keep me around,
808
00:40:37,672 --> 00:40:38,872
he had to ditch the old lady
809
00:40:38,940 --> 00:40:40,506
and give yours truly the top job.
810
00:40:41,608 --> 00:40:43,976
And then he died.
811
00:40:44,043 --> 00:40:45,143
One of his eyes went all funny
812
00:40:45,211 --> 00:40:46,678
and he had a stroke right in front of me.
813
00:40:46,745 --> 00:40:47,879
Geez, April, are you okay?
814
00:40:47,947 --> 00:40:49,881
Okay? I'm rich.
815
00:40:49,949 --> 00:40:52,317
The ol' battle axe was afraid I'd go to The
Lima Times,
816
00:40:52,385 --> 00:40:55,015
so she shut me up to the tune of $2 million.
817
00:40:55,083 --> 00:40:58,980
So I'm sobering up, and I'm
heading to the Broadway, Will.
818
00:40:59,048 --> 00:41:01,548
I haven't had a drink in 45 minutes.
819
00:41:01,616 --> 00:41:03,716
I'm going to take my hush
money and I'm going to mount
820
00:41:03,784 --> 00:41:08,520
the first-ever al
l-white production of The Wiz.
821
00:41:08,587 --> 00:41:09,719
Okay.
822
00:41:09,787 --> 00:41:10,820
And I've got you to thank.
823
00:41:10,888 --> 00:41:12,722
Did you tell him yet?
824
00:41:12,789 --> 00:41:13,789
Tell me what?
825
00:41:13,857 --> 00:41:16,658
That I bought y'all the auditorium.
826
00:41:17,793 --> 00:41:19,060
What?!
827
00:41:19,127 --> 00:41:21,729
I wrote ol' Figgins a check this morning.
828
00:41:21,797 --> 00:41:24,965
It's now called the April
Rhodes Civic Pavilion.
829
00:41:25,033 --> 00:41:28,101
I... I don't know what to say.
830
00:41:28,170 --> 00:41:29,572
We've got that covered.
831
00:41:41,517 --> 00:41:43,818
# When I think of home #
832
00:41:43,886 --> 00:41:46,586
# I think of a place #
833
00:41:46,654 --> 00:41:52,590
# Where there's love overflowing #
834
00:41:52,658 --> 00:41:55,060
# I wish I was home #
835
00:41:55,127 --> 00:41:57,529
# I wish I was back there #
836
00:41:57,596 --> 00:42:04,533
# With the things I been knowing #
837
00:42:04,601 --> 00:42:10,404
# Wind that makes the tall
grass bend into leaning #
838
00:42:10,472 --> 00:42:15,574
# Suddenly the raindrops
that fall have a meaning #
839
00:42:15,642 --> 00:42:20,743
# Sprinklin' the scene #
840
00:42:20,811 --> 00:42:29,283
# Makes it all clean #
841
00:42:29,351 --> 00:42:33,152
# Maybe there's a chance for me to go back #
842
00:42:33,220 --> 00:42:39,123
# Now that I have some direction #
843
00:42:39,191 --> 00:42:43,830
# It sure would be nice to be back home #
844
00:42:43,898 --> 00:42:46,438
# Where there's love and affection #