1 00:00:00,250 --> 00:00:01,566 So here's what you mised on Glee 2 00:00:01,618 --> 00:00:02,951 Coach Beiste is head over heels for a guy 3 00:00:03,036 --> 00:00:04,420 named Cooter who's a football recruiter. 4 00:00:04,504 --> 00:00:06,425 Rachel's running for class president against Kurt and Brittany 5 00:00:06,426 --> 00:00:07,400 and a guy from the hockey team. 6 00:00:07,492 --> 00:00:08,491 Vote Rick "The Stick"! 7 00:00:08,531 --> 00:00:10,081 Burt's running for Congress against Sue 8 00:00:10,133 --> 00:00:11,750 and Reggie "The Sauce," this guy who owns a pizza chain 9 00:00:11,801 --> 00:00:14,136 and who's gonna air a commercial that'll out Santana. 10 00:00:14,220 --> 00:00:16,138 Everyone's gonna know now, because of you! 11 00:00:16,222 --> 00:00:17,139 She thought the whole thing was Finn's fault, 12 00:00:17,223 --> 00:00:18,923 so she slapped him really hard 13 00:00:18,975 --> 00:00:20,525 in front of God and everybody. Ouch. 14 00:00:20,593 --> 00:00:22,613 And that's what you missed on Glee. 15 00:00:22,715 --> 00:00:25,301 Sync and corrected by dr.jackson for www.addic7ed.com 16 00:00:25,421 --> 00:00:27,789 I'm sorry, but since a student had lit firecrackers 17 00:00:27,875 --> 00:00:30,109 stuffed down his pants three years ago, 18 00:00:30,177 --> 00:00:33,776 we've had a zero tolerance physical violence policy. 19 00:00:33,870 --> 00:00:36,132 Is that why you suspended all the kids who have been 20 00:00:36,216 --> 00:00:38,918 tossing slushees in our faces for the past two years? 21 00:00:38,969 --> 00:00:41,671 Slushees are not on the school board's approved list 22 00:00:41,755 --> 00:00:43,422 of suspend-worthy weapons. 23 00:00:43,474 --> 00:00:45,124 Here's what you have to I didn't do it. 24 00:00:45,175 --> 00:00:46,425 We all saw what happened. 25 00:00:46,477 --> 00:00:48,177 You slapped Finn in the face, unprovoked. 26 00:00:48,262 --> 00:00:49,628 No. See, you don't get it. 27 00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:51,681 When I get really pissed off, Santana gets taken over 28 00:00:51,765 --> 00:00:54,901 by my other evil personality. I call her "Snixxx." 29 00:00:54,968 --> 00:00:57,069 Her wrath of words is called "Snixxx juice." 30 00:00:57,137 --> 00:00:58,738 I'm kind of like the Incredible Hulk. 31 00:00:58,805 --> 00:01:00,523 You can't blame me for anything Snixxx does. 32 00:01:00,607 --> 00:01:03,109 I'm suspending you and this Snixxx two weeks. 33 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:04,610 No argument. 34 00:01:04,661 --> 00:01:07,479 Sectionals is next week. If you suspend me, I won't be 35 00:01:07,531 --> 00:01:09,282 able to beat Grimace and Mr. Shue's butts. 36 00:01:09,333 --> 00:01:11,284 Ms. Corcoran, I highly recommend you do something about this. 37 00:01:11,335 --> 00:01:13,485 I'm sorry, Santana, Sectionals is important, 38 00:01:13,537 --> 00:01:16,005 but you need to be punished for what you did. 39 00:01:16,089 --> 00:01:17,656 I hate to say it, but I agree. 40 00:01:17,708 --> 00:01:18,991 This is garbage. 41 00:01:19,042 --> 00:01:20,960 Hamburglar Finn is fine. 42 00:01:21,011 --> 00:01:22,428 She didn't slap me. 43 00:01:22,495 --> 00:01:24,430 I know that it looked and sounded like she did, 44 00:01:24,497 --> 00:01:26,465 but she actually didn't. 45 00:01:26,517 --> 00:01:28,184 What is it called in a play 46 00:01:28,268 --> 00:01:31,170 or a movie when you pretend to hit someone but you don't? 47 00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:32,605 A stage slap? 48 00:01:32,672 --> 00:01:34,307 It was a stage slap. 49 00:01:34,358 --> 00:01:35,641 That's what it was. 50 00:01:35,692 --> 00:01:37,777 - What is your angle here, Finn? - The truth. 51 00:01:37,844 --> 00:01:39,362 If she didn't actually hit me, 52 00:01:39,446 --> 00:01:40,713 then you can't suspend her, right? 53 00:01:41,282 --> 00:01:42,481 No. 54 00:01:42,533 --> 00:01:43,983 Then that's what happened. 55 00:01:45,569 --> 00:01:46,786 I'm a mischievous bitch, 56 00:01:46,853 --> 00:01:48,871 but I can't for the life of me figure out 57 00:01:48,956 --> 00:01:50,156 what the hell this is about. 58 00:01:50,675 --> 00:01:53,042 Well, I want Sectionals to be a fair fight. 59 00:01:53,126 --> 00:01:55,107 And that can't happen without you on the Trouble Tones. 60 00:01:55,185 --> 00:01:56,879 Well, actually, it would only be a fair fight 61 00:01:56,964 --> 00:01:58,047 with me off the team. 62 00:01:58,131 --> 00:01:59,531 And I also kind of feel bad for you. 63 00:01:59,583 --> 00:02:01,133 Look, I know we've been at each other a lot 64 00:02:01,201 --> 00:02:02,251 over these past couple of years, 65 00:02:02,336 --> 00:02:03,869 but the truth is I think you're awesome. 66 00:02:03,921 --> 00:02:05,922 And when you hide who you are, 67 00:02:06,006 --> 00:02:07,256 I feel like you hide 68 00:02:07,341 --> 00:02:09,058 part of that awesomeness with it. 69 00:02:09,142 --> 00:02:12,178 And that's why you act out 70 00:02:12,229 --> 00:02:14,837 because you hurt inside... every day. 71 00:02:17,436 --> 00:02:18,850 That's sweet... 72 00:02:19,436 --> 00:02:22,355 but if you think that, in exchange for keeping me 73 00:02:22,406 --> 00:02:24,190 from getting suspended, I'm gonna come... 74 00:02:24,241 --> 00:02:26,025 - ...back to the Glee Club? - Exactly. 75 00:02:26,076 --> 00:02:27,860 You and all the Trouble Tones. I have an idea 76 00:02:27,887 --> 00:02:31,230 for a lesson but it won't work out if you're not there. 77 00:02:31,281 --> 00:02:33,732 Did Ms. Corcoran and Mr. Shue already agree to this? 78 00:02:33,784 --> 00:02:35,868 Look, it's up to you. 79 00:02:35,919 --> 00:02:38,204 Either you can come back to the choir room 80 00:02:38,255 --> 00:02:41,540 and embrace your awesome or take a two-week vacation 81 00:02:41,592 --> 00:02:43,626 and enjoy your seat in the audience for Sectionals. 82 00:02:52,719 --> 00:02:54,854 I haven't been this worried about a vote 83 00:02:54,921 --> 00:02:56,422 since Lambert versus Allen. 84 00:02:56,473 --> 00:02:59,058 Kurt needs this election to get into NYADA. 85 00:02:59,109 --> 00:03:01,611 More importantly, he's clearly the superior candidate. 86 00:03:01,695 --> 00:03:03,380 I mean, come on. 87 00:03:03,412 --> 00:03:04,029 If elected, 88 00:03:04,030 --> 00:03:06,499 I will make sure to have sugary treats available at all times. 89 00:03:06,599 --> 00:03:07,640 It helps the concentration. 90 00:03:07,672 --> 00:03:08,976 That's what George Washington said. 91 00:03:09,023 --> 00:03:10,093 I had to take a stand. 92 00:03:10,117 --> 00:03:12,071 She's bribing the students with Pixy Stix. 93 00:03:12,122 --> 00:03:13,205 Buying votes is illegal. 94 00:03:13,273 --> 00:03:14,740 It's also delicious. 95 00:03:14,791 --> 00:03:16,242 Nobody cares. 96 00:03:16,293 --> 00:03:17,994 They're all so lost in their own worlds 97 00:03:18,078 --> 00:03:20,112 that they can't see how important this is to me. 98 00:03:20,163 --> 00:03:22,298 Elections have consequences, 99 00:03:22,382 --> 00:03:24,717 and the consequence of Brittany winning this election is 100 00:03:24,784 --> 00:03:27,670 that I'll have to move to New York without my best gay. 101 00:03:27,754 --> 00:03:29,388 What if I need an emergency makeover 102 00:03:29,456 --> 00:03:30,878 or a last-minute soufflé? 103 00:03:30,906 --> 00:03:32,791 How's the concession speech going? 104 00:03:32,843 --> 00:03:34,977 Can I print an early copy on my blog? 105 00:03:35,062 --> 00:03:36,812 Who says I'm ready to concede? 106 00:03:36,897 --> 00:03:39,065 I'm leading that hockey playing kid by ten percent. 107 00:03:39,132 --> 00:03:40,349 But that's mostly because 108 00:03:40,434 --> 00:03:41,901 he's in a medically induced coma after 109 00:03:41,968 --> 00:03:43,235 being brutally checked in a game last week. 110 00:03:43,303 --> 00:03:45,637 Also, you're trailing Brittany by 17 points. 111 00:03:45,681 --> 00:03:47,772 If this was a horse race, you'd be glue. 112 00:03:47,889 --> 00:03:50,076 And te glue that keeps this school together 113 00:03:50,143 --> 00:03:51,410 when he gets elected president. 114 00:03:51,478 --> 00:03:53,570 Oh, my God, it's Brittany. Madam President? 115 00:03:53,930 --> 00:03:55,394 Don't worry about it, okay? 116 00:03:55,434 --> 00:03:57,983 We still have the rest of the day to change the minds of the voters. 117 00:03:58,035 --> 00:03:59,201 What's the point? 118 00:03:59,286 --> 00:04:00,920 I'm gonna lose unless I pull a JFK. 119 00:04:00,987 --> 00:04:03,255 You're gonna shoot Brittany? 120 00:04:03,323 --> 00:04:06,709 No, no... when Kennedy ran against Nixon in 1960, 121 00:04:06,793 --> 00:04:09,962 he had all his Mob buddies in Chicago stuff the ballot boxes 122 00:04:10,013 --> 00:04:11,130 so that he would win Illinois. 123 00:04:11,181 --> 00:04:12,664 It won him the presidency. 124 00:04:12,716 --> 00:04:13,849 Wait... No! 125 00:04:13,934 --> 00:04:15,468 No, I can't let you do this, okay? 126 00:04:15,519 --> 00:04:18,137 Come on. Can't we just do, like, a great duet in the cafeteria 127 00:04:18,188 --> 00:04:20,102 or the library to just drum up some support? 128 00:04:20,179 --> 00:04:21,946 I have Kennedy's impeccable hairline. 129 00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:22,532 I know. 130 00:04:22,631 --> 00:04:25,336 Why can't I have his ends- justify-the-means mentality? 131 00:04:25,461 --> 00:04:28,047 If I lose, and my resume remains blank, 132 00:04:28,115 --> 00:04:29,848 I'm not gonna get into NYADA. 133 00:04:30,442 --> 00:04:32,120 And I can't accept that. 134 00:04:33,236 --> 00:04:35,488 You're seriously considering cheating? 135 00:04:37,224 --> 00:04:39,492 What choice do I have? 136 00:04:45,114 --> 00:04:47,499 Can someone tell us what's going on, please? 137 00:04:47,700 --> 00:04:49,954 This week, the Trouble Tones and New Directions! 138 00:04:49,996 --> 00:04:51,404 will both be singing music created 139 00:04:51,428 --> 00:04:53,643 - by ladies and for ladies. - Oh, hell no. 140 00:04:53,701 --> 00:04:55,512 Next week, all of us will be going to Sectionals, 141 00:04:55,542 --> 00:04:57,207 and one of us is probably gonna win. 142 00:04:57,417 --> 00:04:59,849 But, Santana, we're worried about you. 143 00:04:59,951 --> 00:05:01,647 Worry about yourself, fetus face. 144 00:05:01,714 --> 00:05:05,384 Glee's about learning how to accept yourself for who you are, 145 00:05:05,435 --> 00:05:06,530 no matter what other people think. 146 00:05:06,577 --> 00:05:07,987 And that's what this music is all about. 147 00:05:08,034 --> 00:05:10,906 So, wait, I don't even get a say in this? Not cool. 148 00:05:11,508 --> 00:05:13,784 Everybody in this room knows about you and Brittany. 149 00:05:13,823 --> 00:05:15,478 And we don't judge you for it. 150 00:05:15,519 --> 00:05:17,502 We celebrate it because it's who you are. 151 00:05:17,781 --> 00:05:19,582 Look, I know not everybody outside of this room 152 00:05:19,666 --> 00:05:21,367 is as accepting and cool, 153 00:05:21,418 --> 00:05:24,336 but we're doing this assignment this week so that you know 154 00:05:24,404 --> 00:05:28,114 in this rotten, stinking mean world that you at least have 155 00:05:28,146 --> 00:05:30,065 a group of people who will support your choice 156 00:05:30,071 --> 00:05:31,338 to be whoever you want to be. 157 00:05:31,578 --> 00:05:32,445 That's it. 158 00:05:32,940 --> 00:05:34,140 That's what we're doing here. 159 00:05:35,029 --> 00:05:36,209 Blaine? Kurt? 160 00:05:38,453 --> 00:05:39,718 Santana, Kurt and I have a song 161 00:05:39,719 --> 00:05:41,473 we like to sing to each other in the car. 162 00:05:41,483 --> 00:05:43,622 And we want to sing that for you right now. 163 00:05:43,673 --> 00:05:45,657 While there's nothing I'd love more than having 164 00:05:45,709 --> 00:05:48,461 two Pretty Ponies serenade me, I think we'd get further 165 00:05:48,512 --> 00:05:51,263 staging a "gel-ervention" for Blaine than singing lady music. 166 00:05:51,331 --> 00:05:54,133 I know it's hard. It was hard for me, too. 167 00:05:54,184 --> 00:05:55,434 But you can get through this. 168 00:05:55,502 --> 00:05:57,186 If you could just stop being so defensive. 169 00:05:57,270 --> 00:06:00,139 I'm trying, but your hideous bow ties are provoking me. 170 00:06:00,190 --> 00:06:02,725 Wait, are we talking lady on lady or girl on girl? 171 00:06:02,809 --> 00:06:03,976 'Cause there's a big difference. 172 00:06:04,027 --> 00:06:06,612 Puck, focus, okay? 173 00:06:07,324 --> 00:06:10,788 Kurt, Blaine, why don't you kick us off with what you got? 174 00:06:12,235 --> 00:06:16,122 Made a wrong turn once or twice 175 00:06:16,189 --> 00:06:21,127 Dug my way out, blood and fire 176 00:06:21,942 --> 00:06:26,611 Bad decisions, that's all right 177 00:06:26,982 --> 00:06:31,369 Welcome to my silly life 178 00:06:32,305 --> 00:06:36,542 Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood 179 00:06:36,593 --> 00:06:38,877 Miss No-way-it's-all-good 180 00:06:38,929 --> 00:06:42,214 It didn't slow me down 181 00:06:42,265 --> 00:06:47,236 Mistaken, always second-guessing 182 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:52,471 Underestimated, look, I'm still around 183 00:06:53,850 --> 00:06:55,945 Pretty, pretty please 184 00:06:56,029 --> 00:06:58,397 Don't you ever, ever feel 185 00:06:58,448 --> 00:07:04,177 Like you're less than, less than perfect 186 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,205 Pretty, pretty please 187 00:07:06,256 --> 00:07:11,419 If you ever, ever feel like you're nothing 188 00:07:11,458 --> 00:07:15,130 You are perfect to me 189 00:07:15,215 --> 00:07:17,383 The whole world stared, so I swallowed the fear 190 00:07:17,434 --> 00:07:19,802 The only thing I should be drinking is an ice-cold beer 191 00:07:19,886 --> 00:07:22,388 So cool in lying, and we try, try, try 192 00:07:22,439 --> 00:07:25,391 But we try too hard, and it's a waste of my time. 193 00:07:25,442 --> 00:07:27,359 Done looking for the critics 'cause they're everywhere 194 00:07:27,427 --> 00:07:30,479 They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair 195 00:07:30,564 --> 00:07:32,898 Strange ourselves, and we do it all the time 196 00:07:32,949 --> 00:07:34,483 Why do we do that? 197 00:07:34,568 --> 00:07:38,070 Yeah! 198 00:07:40,490 --> 00:07:42,374 Oh, oh-oh-oh 199 00:07:42,442 --> 00:07:45,995 Oh, pretty, pretty please 200 00:07:46,079 --> 00:07:49,965 Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel 201 00:07:50,050 --> 00:07:52,718 Like you're nothing 202 00:07:52,785 --> 00:07:57,139 You are perfect to me. 203 00:08:02,229 --> 00:08:03,312 That's good! That's great! How about that? 204 00:08:03,396 --> 00:08:04,847 Thank you, guys. 205 00:08:04,978 --> 00:08:06,630 Thank you, Finn, especially. 206 00:08:06,873 --> 00:08:09,582 You know, with all the horrible crap I've been through in my life... 207 00:08:10,243 --> 00:08:12,461 now I get to add that. 208 00:08:15,992 --> 00:08:17,409 Dear Journal, 209 00:08:17,477 --> 00:08:19,361 My campaign is in crisis. 210 00:08:19,446 --> 00:08:21,113 Polls have me neck-and-neck 211 00:08:21,164 --> 00:08:22,481 with Reggie "The Sauce" Salazar, 212 00:08:22,532 --> 00:08:24,637 and his ad is set to run any day now. 213 00:08:25,071 --> 00:08:28,029 Why would someone assume I'm a friend of Ellen just because 214 00:08:28,045 --> 00:08:30,756 I'm mannish and highly aggressive and have short hair 215 00:08:30,823 --> 00:08:32,758 and I only wear track suits and I coach 216 00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:34,716 a girl's sport and I married myself? 217 00:08:34,790 --> 00:08:36,546 It just doesn't make sense. 218 00:08:36,591 --> 00:08:39,679 The truth is, Journal, I'm attracted to men. 219 00:08:39,828 --> 00:08:42,479 Sure, I can't stand watching them eat or talking to them, 220 00:08:42,534 --> 00:08:44,401 but when it comes to getting sexy, 221 00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:47,710 this gal's got a hole in her heart only a fella can fill. 222 00:08:47,730 --> 00:08:51,040 Salazar's ad will put my campaign on life-support, 223 00:08:51,290 --> 00:08:53,117 and if I want to win this race, 224 00:08:53,147 --> 00:08:56,065 I need 20 cc's of man-candy, stat! 225 00:08:56,124 --> 00:08:59,028 So which one of my hookups is ready 226 00:08:59,060 --> 00:09:00,653 for a prime-time photo op? 227 00:09:00,729 --> 00:09:02,963 Dan Quayle? Too needy. 228 00:09:03,014 --> 00:09:05,266 Stephen Baldwin? Train wreck. 229 00:09:05,317 --> 00:09:07,318 Oliver North. Biter. 230 00:09:07,385 --> 00:09:10,154 Matt Lauer? Too much crying. 231 00:09:10,238 --> 00:09:11,939 Johnny Cochran? 232 00:09:12,007 --> 00:09:13,736 Pretty sure he's dead. 233 00:09:14,447 --> 00:09:16,021 Eureka. 234 00:09:16,209 --> 00:09:18,362 That's the kind of guy I need. 235 00:09:18,446 --> 00:09:21,852 Better luck next time, David Boreanaz. 236 00:09:22,039 --> 00:09:24,752 Sue Sylvester's found her man. 237 00:09:27,663 --> 00:09:30,715 What is that animal you appear to be so noisily enjoying? 238 00:09:31,043 --> 00:09:33,744 A chicken stuffed in a duck, 239 00:09:33,789 --> 00:09:36,408 jammed in a turkey... a turducken. 240 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:38,515 - It's like a barnyard in a bite. - Wow. 241 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:40,968 I've been exhausted lately, and I'm trying to eat as much 242 00:09:41,019 --> 00:09:42,686 protein as I can to keep up my strength. 243 00:09:42,771 --> 00:09:43,721 Why are you so tired? 244 00:09:43,805 --> 00:09:44,722 I've been working hard 245 00:09:44,806 --> 00:09:46,913 as the student election advisor, 246 00:09:47,061 --> 00:09:51,599 and my nights have been much more, well, busier lately. 247 00:09:51,802 --> 00:09:54,488 Well, if you need help with anything, just let us know. 248 00:09:54,489 --> 00:09:55,160 Yeah. 249 00:09:55,418 --> 00:09:57,768 I could use some help counting the election ballots. 250 00:09:58,541 --> 00:10:01,481 My quadriceps have been trembling like jelly all day. 251 00:10:01,700 --> 00:10:04,025 Cooter really pushed me to my limit last night. 252 00:10:04,541 --> 00:10:06,692 So I take it things are going well 253 00:10:06,743 --> 00:10:08,161 between you and Mr. Mankins? 254 00:10:08,224 --> 00:10:10,802 Last night, Cooter asked me to do something 255 00:10:10,803 --> 00:10:12,619 I never imagined I'd be doing. 256 00:10:14,516 --> 00:10:16,523 You think you can handle this, Shannon? 257 00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:18,267 Give it to me, Cooter. 258 00:10:21,819 --> 00:10:23,636 Our connection is so amazing 259 00:10:23,641 --> 00:10:25,054 and we have so much in common. 260 00:10:25,117 --> 00:10:26,918 I really feel like I met my match. 261 00:10:27,003 --> 00:10:28,787 We are so happy for you, Coach. 262 00:10:28,871 --> 00:10:30,519 Cooter Mankins... 263 00:10:31,534 --> 00:10:33,241 he's the only one for me. 264 00:10:44,020 --> 00:10:49,107 Please, baby, can't you see my mind's a burning hell? 265 00:10:49,192 --> 00:10:51,393 I got razors a-rippin' and tearing and strippin' 266 00:10:51,444 --> 00:10:54,196 My heart apart as well 267 00:10:56,032 --> 00:10:59,651 Tonight you told me that you ache for something new 268 00:10:59,735 --> 00:11:03,605 And some other woman is looking like something 269 00:11:03,656 --> 00:11:05,373 That might be good for you 270 00:11:07,210 --> 00:11:12,414 Go on and hold her till the screaming is gone 271 00:11:12,465 --> 00:11:15,917 Go on, believe her when she tells you nothing's wrong 272 00:11:15,968 --> 00:11:20,755 Ho-ho, but I'm the only one 273 00:11:20,806 --> 00:11:23,842 Who'll walk across the fire for you 274 00:11:26,929 --> 00:11:32,984 And I'm the only one who'll drown in my desire for you 275 00:11:35,354 --> 00:11:37,322 It's only fear that makes you run 276 00:11:37,406 --> 00:11:40,025 The demons that you're hiding from 277 00:11:40,109 --> 00:11:43,945 When all your promises are gone 278 00:11:43,996 --> 00:11:50,285 I'm the only one 279 00:11:51,587 --> 00:11:53,988 Please, baby, can't you see? 280 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:56,491 I'm trying to explain 281 00:11:56,542 --> 00:11:59,844 I've been here before and I'm locking the door 282 00:11:59,929 --> 00:12:03,331 And I'm not going back again 283 00:12:03,382 --> 00:12:08,436 Her eyes and arms and skin won't make it go away 284 00:12:08,504 --> 00:12:10,555 You'll wake up tomorrow and wrestle the sorrow 285 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:13,224 That holds you down today 286 00:12:13,309 --> 00:12:20,014 Go on and hold her till the screamin' is gone 287 00:12:20,066 --> 00:12:25,654 Go on, believe her when she tells you nothing's wrong 288 00:12:25,705 --> 00:12:31,859 Well, I'm the only one who walked across the fire for you 289 00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:39,867 And I'm the only one who'll drown in my desire for you 290 00:12:41,554 --> 00:12:45,256 It's only fear that makes you run 291 00:12:45,341 --> 00:12:47,976 The demons that you're hiding from 292 00:12:48,043 --> 00:12:52,347 When all your promises are gone 293 00:12:52,398 --> 00:12:58,436 I'm the only one 294 00:13:07,863 --> 00:13:09,047 That was for you... 295 00:13:09,179 --> 00:13:10,132 Santana. 296 00:13:10,367 --> 00:13:12,485 Yeah, I know I was just part of a phase, 297 00:13:12,536 --> 00:13:15,238 but whatever, happy to oblige, always. 298 00:13:29,403 --> 00:13:31,849 - You kicked ass on that song. - Thank you. 299 00:13:32,052 --> 00:13:34,185 Do think you need to get your eyes checked, though. 300 00:13:34,236 --> 00:13:35,415 Say what? 301 00:13:35,491 --> 00:13:38,340 You sang almost the whole song to Shelby. You hardly even noticed me. 302 00:13:38,388 --> 00:13:40,713 Yeah, that was so that she would think of me... 303 00:13:40,848 --> 00:13:41,485 think of us... 304 00:13:41,486 --> 00:13:44,034 as the only ones that could take care of Beth and stuff. 305 00:13:44,267 --> 00:13:46,385 The song was mainly about baby-sitting for me. 306 00:13:47,063 --> 00:13:50,856 Look, my mom is going on a Christian wine-tasting boat 307 00:13:50,940 --> 00:13:52,558 down the Ohio River on Friday. 308 00:13:52,642 --> 00:13:54,109 The Jesus Booze Cruise. 309 00:13:54,177 --> 00:13:56,081 So I'm going to have the house to myself. 310 00:13:56,375 --> 00:13:58,470 Want to come over, order in, 311 00:13:58,532 --> 00:14:00,639 rent a movie and not watch it? 312 00:14:01,616 --> 00:14:03,467 Remember in the hospital after Beth was born? 313 00:14:04,274 --> 00:14:05,844 You told me you loved me. 314 00:14:06,239 --> 00:14:07,623 We can get that back. 315 00:14:08,395 --> 00:14:09,875 Sorry. Not interested. 316 00:14:10,425 --> 00:14:12,585 Let me be more clear. 317 00:14:13,213 --> 00:14:15,798 If you come over on Friday, 318 00:14:15,865 --> 00:14:18,200 you get to have sex with me. 319 00:14:18,633 --> 00:14:21,474 Look, I was into you pretty hard a couple years ago 320 00:14:21,503 --> 00:14:23,366 'cause you were hot like a pixie and I thought 321 00:14:23,397 --> 00:14:25,205 you were pretty much cooler than every other girl in the school, 322 00:14:25,211 --> 00:14:27,699 but turns out, you're kind of nuts. 323 00:14:27,761 --> 00:14:30,479 You're higher maintenance than Berry and pretty much the most 324 00:14:30,546 --> 00:14:31,814 selfish person I've ever met in my life. 325 00:14:31,881 --> 00:14:33,381 So thanks for the offer, 326 00:14:33,433 --> 00:14:35,851 but I'd rather raw dog a beehive. 327 00:14:41,441 --> 00:14:43,826 So, what do you think of the new assignment? 328 00:14:43,893 --> 00:14:45,494 It's pretty sweet, right? 329 00:14:45,561 --> 00:14:46,895 Do you realize you're basically 330 00:14:46,946 --> 00:14:49,081 forcing me out of the flannel closet? 331 00:14:49,165 --> 00:14:50,565 Salazar's ad's going to run. 332 00:14:50,617 --> 00:14:51,950 That's what's forcing you to deal with this. 333 00:14:52,035 --> 00:14:53,786 Why are you getting so worked up about this? 334 00:14:53,870 --> 00:14:55,671 'Cause I don't want you to die. 335 00:14:56,305 --> 00:14:57,873 A few weeks ago, some kid who made one 336 00:14:57,924 --> 00:14:59,708 of those "It Gets Better" videos killed himself. 337 00:15:00,087 --> 00:15:02,093 You deal with your anxiety surrounding this stuff 338 00:15:02,094 --> 00:15:03,176 by attacking other people, 339 00:15:03,230 --> 00:15:04,664 and someday, that's not going to be enough 340 00:15:04,665 --> 00:15:05,998 and you might start attacking yourself. 341 00:15:06,034 --> 00:15:07,861 Well, thanks, but that's never going to happen. 342 00:15:07,862 --> 00:15:08,699 I'd miss me too much. 343 00:15:09,199 --> 00:15:11,121 Look, you were my first. 344 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,112 That means something to me. 345 00:15:13,826 --> 00:15:15,042 You mean something to me. 346 00:15:15,093 --> 00:15:16,793 If something ever were to happen to you, 347 00:15:16,878 --> 00:15:18,157 and I didn't do everything that I could 348 00:15:18,203 --> 00:15:20,738 to try and stop it, I'd never be able to live with myself. 349 00:15:25,452 --> 00:15:30,289 I came home in the middle of the night 350 00:15:32,237 --> 00:15:37,491 My father says what you gonna do with your life? 351 00:15:37,865 --> 00:15:45,238 Well, Daddy dear, you're still number one 352 00:15:45,290 --> 00:15:50,494 Oh, girls, they wanna have fun 353 00:15:52,657 --> 00:15:58,585 Oh, girls, they... 354 00:15:58,636 --> 00:16:03,507 The phone rings in the middle of the night 355 00:16:05,843 --> 00:16:12,733 My mother says when you gonna live your life right? 356 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:19,973 Well, Mother dear, we're not the founate ones 357 00:16:20,024 --> 00:16:24,745 Oh, girls, they wanna have fun 358 00:16:25,747 --> 00:16:31,918 Oh, girls, they... 359 00:16:31,986 --> 00:16:37,624 It's all they really want... 360 00:16:39,627 --> 00:16:44,381 Those girls, they want to have fun 361 00:16:48,019 --> 00:16:53,724 Some boys take a beautiful girl 362 00:16:55,109 --> 00:16:57,477 Oh, and they hide her away 363 00:16:57,528 --> 00:17:01,148 From the rest of the world 364 00:17:03,368 --> 00:17:05,369 But not me 365 00:17:05,453 --> 00:17:10,957 I wanna be the one in the sun 366 00:17:11,025 --> 00:17:15,746 Girls, they wanna have fun 367 00:17:18,032 --> 00:17:22,886 Oh, girls, they... 368 00:17:22,970 --> 00:17:27,924 That's all they really want 369 00:17:31,396 --> 00:17:37,350 Those girls, they wanna have fun. 370 00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:50,769 Thank you. 371 00:17:53,658 --> 00:17:54,978 We love you, Santana. 372 00:17:56,704 --> 00:18:00,590 One four-cheese, ass-kickin', triple-dippin' chicken taquitos. 373 00:18:00,675 --> 00:18:02,709 Double the chicken. 374 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:05,645 One Big Daddy Chicken Patty with extra chicken. 375 00:18:05,713 --> 00:18:07,130 And instead of a side... 376 00:18:07,215 --> 00:18:09,099 - More chicken... - you just want more chicken. 377 00:18:09,183 --> 00:18:11,456 Yeah. Smile for the camera. 378 00:18:12,136 --> 00:18:14,771 Get those to the Lima Times ASAP. 379 00:18:14,856 --> 00:18:16,189 Sure thing, Coach. 380 00:18:16,257 --> 00:18:17,107 Hey, Cooter. 381 00:18:17,191 --> 00:18:18,424 What are you doing here? 382 00:18:18,476 --> 00:18:19,459 Oh, hey, Coach. 383 00:18:19,498 --> 00:18:22,562 Just, uh... just grabbing some dinner with Sue here. 384 00:18:22,613 --> 00:18:25,949 Excuse me, Bluto, but I'm on a date with my man, 385 00:18:26,033 --> 00:18:28,268 enjoying some disgusting creamy pasta, 386 00:18:28,319 --> 00:18:30,771 and phoners with several major media outlets. 387 00:18:30,838 --> 00:18:32,539 So why don't you just hurry on to your next 388 00:18:32,606 --> 00:18:33,778 face-widening session 389 00:18:33,817 --> 00:18:36,243 at the John Travolta Institute for Head Thickening 390 00:18:36,294 --> 00:18:37,610 and Facial Weight Gain. 391 00:18:37,662 --> 00:18:38,611 You're on a date? 392 00:18:39,351 --> 00:18:41,146 Y... Yeah, I guess. 393 00:18:41,263 --> 00:18:42,427 Listen, Home Perm, 394 00:18:42,505 --> 00:18:43,722 Cooter's been my regular booty call 395 00:18:43,806 --> 00:18:45,518 since the late 1990s... 396 00:18:45,549 --> 00:18:49,344 Oop! My iPhone 5 is vibrating. That's a new feature 397 00:18:49,395 --> 00:18:51,635 of the iPhone 5... they vibrate now. 398 00:18:51,862 --> 00:18:54,483 And I have to take this... it's a reporter from USA Today, 399 00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:56,785 the newspaper for people who can't read. 400 00:19:00,356 --> 00:19:01,523 It's nice to see you, Cooter. 401 00:19:02,750 --> 00:19:04,580 Hey, Shannon, Shannon... 402 00:19:05,207 --> 00:19:06,441 You okay? 403 00:19:07,150 --> 00:19:07,813 No. 404 00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:10,082 No, I'm not. 405 00:19:11,171 --> 00:19:14,886 I thought you and I were doing stuff, and stuff. 406 00:19:14,971 --> 00:19:16,855 Shannon, I didn't think you were interested. 407 00:19:17,027 --> 00:19:19,778 Every time I gather up the courage to ask you out on a date, 408 00:19:19,818 --> 00:19:23,588 we end up lifting weights at the gym or at a protein seminar. 409 00:19:23,731 --> 00:19:25,768 So, last time, I said to myself, "Dang it, Coot," 410 00:19:25,898 --> 00:19:27,048 you just gotta make a move." 411 00:19:27,512 --> 00:19:29,129 And so I tried to hold your hand, 412 00:19:29,184 --> 00:19:31,319 - and you punched me. - It was a reflex. 413 00:19:31,387 --> 00:19:33,572 I thought you were trying to steal my class ring. 414 00:19:33,656 --> 00:19:36,391 I like you, Shannon, and I like hanging out with you, 415 00:19:36,442 --> 00:19:38,243 but the truth is, I can't tell 416 00:19:38,327 --> 00:19:40,779 what's going on with us. I'm not looking for a buddy. 417 00:19:40,863 --> 00:19:42,415 I'm a grown man. 418 00:19:43,404 --> 00:19:44,905 I mean, I need more than that. 419 00:19:57,316 --> 00:20:00,485 I don't have to ask who you lovely ladies are voting for. 420 00:20:00,553 --> 00:20:03,772 - I'm Team Britt all the way. - I'm voting for the hockey player. 421 00:20:04,270 --> 00:20:05,654 Rick "The Stick" Nelson. 422 00:20:05,816 --> 00:20:07,431 Well, I wouldn't worry too much 423 00:20:07,470 --> 00:20:09,444 about a spare vote here or there, Brittany. 424 00:20:09,529 --> 00:20:13,481 My exit polling is putting you well ahead of Lady Hummel. 425 00:20:13,669 --> 00:20:16,325 This election is "ovah"! 426 00:20:16,481 --> 00:20:17,703 That's right! 427 00:20:17,754 --> 00:20:19,037 Come on. 428 00:20:20,109 --> 00:20:21,893 One last interview before you lose. 429 00:20:21,944 --> 00:20:24,279 - Hey, hey, hey, give it a break. - Hey, just one more! Just a word! 430 00:20:24,363 --> 00:20:26,763 God, I feel like a lamb waiting in line to be slaughtered. 431 00:20:26,807 --> 00:20:27,638 Chin up, Kurt. 432 00:20:27,785 --> 00:20:29,101 It's not over till all the votes are counted. 433 00:20:29,171 --> 00:20:30,655 Yep, and you're going to get loads. 434 00:20:30,706 --> 00:20:32,590 Look, look, Quinn is going into the voting booth right now. 435 00:20:32,658 --> 00:20:34,459 She's definitely going to vote for you. 436 00:20:36,896 --> 00:20:39,497 I like what Kurt stands for, and Brittany is insane, 437 00:20:39,565 --> 00:20:41,633 but just like my dad always voted for the candidate 438 00:20:41,701 --> 00:20:43,218 that was least ethnic, 439 00:20:43,302 --> 00:20:45,670 I'm voting for the one who's most girl. 440 00:20:45,721 --> 00:20:48,139 Brittany is my Trouble Tones home girl, 441 00:20:48,190 --> 00:20:49,891 but thank God for secret ballots 442 00:20:49,976 --> 00:20:51,810 because if Santana's girlfriend wins this election 443 00:20:51,861 --> 00:20:54,145 I'm never going to hear the end of it. 444 00:21:09,819 --> 00:21:12,831 If I lose, I don't have a chance of getting into NYADA. 445 00:21:12,882 --> 00:21:15,000 It's not fair... the difference between 446 00:21:15,051 --> 00:21:17,252 my dreams coming true and managing a Sonic Burger 447 00:21:17,336 --> 00:21:20,338 depends on how many people check a stupid box. 448 00:21:27,361 --> 00:21:28,894 Hey, how's it going? 449 00:21:28,946 --> 00:21:31,414 I can't believe I agreed to let District hold polling places 450 00:21:31,498 --> 00:21:32,898 in our gym today. 451 00:21:32,950 --> 00:21:34,750 It's like she's rubbing it in my face. 452 00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:36,419 Don't take it personally. 453 00:21:36,503 --> 00:21:38,838 It's all just a big campaign strategy for her. 454 00:21:38,905 --> 00:21:41,073 Coach Sue wants you to have this. 455 00:21:41,124 --> 00:21:42,908 She says she hopes it rubs it in your face. 456 00:21:46,430 --> 00:21:48,514 I don't understand what happened. 457 00:21:48,582 --> 00:21:50,266 He said I was uncommunicative. 458 00:21:50,350 --> 00:21:53,419 Aw, man, I'm so bummed out, I feel like I'm living 459 00:21:53,470 --> 00:21:55,921 one of the tragic country music songs. 460 00:21:55,973 --> 00:21:57,974 Well, then you need to go tell him how you feel. 461 00:21:58,058 --> 00:22:01,049 We're going to go vote, and you just got to go for it, okay? 462 00:22:01,132 --> 00:22:02,782 When this is all over and done with, 463 00:22:02,850 --> 00:22:06,194 Sue's going to lose the election and the guy. 464 00:22:07,034 --> 00:22:08,335 Thanks. 465 00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,284 Jolene, Jolene 466 00:22:20,352 --> 00:22:23,371 Jolene, Jolene... 467 00:22:23,455 --> 00:22:25,490 I'm begging of you, please 468 00:22:25,541 --> 00:22:28,284 Don't take my man 469 00:22:29,411 --> 00:22:31,695 Jolene, Jolene 470 00:22:31,747 --> 00:22:35,428 Jolene, Jolene... 471 00:22:35,500 --> 00:22:39,137 Please don't take him just because you can 472 00:22:41,873 --> 00:22:44,175 Your beauty is beyond compare 473 00:22:44,226 --> 00:22:46,427 With flaming locks of golden hair 474 00:22:46,512 --> 00:22:50,398 With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green 475 00:22:52,717 --> 00:22:55,152 Your smile is like a breath of spring 476 00:22:55,220 --> 00:22:57,071 Your voice is soft like summer rain 477 00:22:57,155 --> 00:23:01,108 And I cannot compete with you, Jolene 478 00:23:03,445 --> 00:23:05,413 He talks about you in his sleep 479 00:23:05,497 --> 00:23:07,898 And there's nothing I can do to keep 480 00:23:07,950 --> 00:23:11,452 From crying, when he calls your name, Jolene 481 00:23:14,623 --> 00:23:16,123 And I could easily understand 482 00:23:16,208 --> 00:23:18,626 How you could easily take my man 483 00:23:18,710 --> 00:23:21,379 But you don't know what he means to me, Jolene 484 00:23:23,632 --> 00:23:25,466 Jolene 485 00:23:25,551 --> 00:23:30,388 Jolene, Jolene, Jolene 486 00:23:30,439 --> 00:23:35,926 Please don't take him even though you can 487 00:23:35,978 --> 00:23:38,112 Jolene 488 00:23:38,196 --> 00:23:42,817 Jolene 489 00:23:42,901 --> 00:23:45,703 Jolene. 490 00:23:45,770 --> 00:23:47,154 Are you... are you okay, Coach? 491 00:23:48,388 --> 00:23:50,741 Yeah. Fine. 492 00:23:50,792 --> 00:23:51,826 Are you? 493 00:23:52,901 --> 00:23:54,495 Yep. I'm, I'm great. 494 00:23:55,033 --> 00:23:56,083 Thank you. 495 00:24:16,101 --> 00:24:18,135 Saw the commercial. 496 00:24:18,186 --> 00:24:19,737 Whew. Smokin'. 497 00:24:19,804 --> 00:24:21,322 Who the hell are you? 498 00:24:21,406 --> 00:24:23,574 Josh Comen. Sophomore rugby captain. 499 00:24:23,642 --> 00:24:24,942 Girls like you are a challenge. 500 00:24:24,993 --> 00:24:26,777 You just need the right guy to straighten you out, 501 00:24:26,828 --> 00:24:28,611 and I'm just the man to do it. 502 00:24:28,861 --> 00:24:31,200 Move your busted creeper ass. 503 00:24:31,348 --> 00:24:31,982 Now. 504 00:24:32,034 --> 00:24:34,485 Easy, girls. I'm just trying to make her normal. 505 00:24:34,536 --> 00:24:36,153 - She is normal. - It's not a choice, idiot. 506 00:24:36,204 --> 00:24:38,005 But even if it were, you'd be our last choice. 507 00:24:38,090 --> 00:24:41,125 Oh, I get it. You're all a bunch of lesbos. 508 00:24:41,176 --> 00:24:44,378 So what if we are? You don't stand a chance either way. 509 00:24:44,403 --> 00:24:45,964 Bye-bye. 510 00:24:45,999 --> 00:24:47,382 Walk away. 511 00:24:48,333 --> 00:24:52,303 This was never the way I planned 512 00:24:52,354 --> 00:24:55,723 Not my intention 513 00:24:55,807 --> 00:24:59,810 I got so brave, drink in hand 514 00:24:59,861 --> 00:25:03,180 Lost my discretion 515 00:25:03,231 --> 00:25:07,518 It's not what I'm used to 516 00:25:07,569 --> 00:25:10,655 Just wanna try you on 517 00:25:10,706 --> 00:25:13,991 I'm curious for you 518 00:25:14,042 --> 00:25:18,129 Caught my attention 519 00:25:18,196 --> 00:25:21,132 I kissed a girl and I liked it 520 00:25:21,199 --> 00:25:24,585 The taste of her cherry Chapstick 521 00:25:24,670 --> 00:25:28,756 I kissed a girl just to try it 522 00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:31,809 I hope my boyfriend don't mind it 523 00:25:31,876 --> 00:25:34,345 It felt so wrong 524 00:25:34,396 --> 00:25:36,313 It felt so right 525 00:25:36,381 --> 00:25:39,600 Don't mean I'm in love tonight 526 00:25:39,685 --> 00:25:43,187 I kissed a girl and I liked it 527 00:25:45,390 --> 00:25:46,824 I liked it 528 00:25:46,891 --> 00:25:51,195 Us girls, we are so magical 529 00:25:51,246 --> 00:25:52,947 Soft skin, red lips 530 00:25:53,031 --> 00:25:54,615 So kissable 531 00:25:54,700 --> 00:25:58,369 Hard to resist, so touchable 532 00:25:58,420 --> 00:26:02,256 Too good to deny it 533 00:26:02,340 --> 00:26:06,010 Ain't no big deal, it's innocent... 534 00:26:09,765 --> 00:26:13,217 I kissed a girl and I liked it 535 00:26:13,268 --> 00:26:16,804 The taste of her cherry Chapstick 536 00:26:16,888 --> 00:26:20,758 I kissed a girl just to try it 537 00:26:20,809 --> 00:26:24,445 I hope my boyfriend don't mind it 538 00:26:24,529 --> 00:26:26,280 It felt so wrong 539 00:26:26,364 --> 00:26:28,282 It felt so right 540 00:26:28,366 --> 00:26:31,485 Don't mean I'm in love tonight 541 00:26:31,570 --> 00:26:34,938 I kissed a girl and I liked it 542 00:26:37,275 --> 00:26:39,744 I liked it. 543 00:26:41,830 --> 00:26:43,164 Come here. 544 00:26:43,248 --> 00:26:45,166 Okay, okay. Update, y'all. 545 00:26:45,250 --> 00:26:46,634 Um, I told my parents last night, 546 00:26:46,718 --> 00:26:48,002 and they were actually okay with it. 547 00:26:48,086 --> 00:26:49,754 No way! 548 00:26:49,805 --> 00:26:51,288 I just have to tell my Abuela 549 00:26:51,339 --> 00:26:52,506 before she sees that stupid commercial. 550 00:26:52,591 --> 00:26:54,507 But luckily she only watches Univision. 551 00:26:55,353 --> 00:26:58,012 Excuse me, New Directions! and Trouble Tones singing groups. 552 00:26:58,096 --> 00:27:01,649 Mr. Kurt Hummel, I need to see you in my office immediately. 553 00:27:06,321 --> 00:27:07,325 First of all, Mr. Hummel, 554 00:27:07,378 --> 00:27:10,018 congratulations on your early exit poll numbers. 555 00:27:10,202 --> 00:27:12,430 Things are looking very good indeed for you. 556 00:27:12,548 --> 00:27:15,333 Thank you, Figgins. Now can you tell me why I'm here today? 557 00:27:15,384 --> 00:27:17,752 There seems to have been some irregularities 558 00:27:17,836 --> 00:27:19,754 with the student council ballot boxes. 559 00:27:19,838 --> 00:27:21,839 What do you mean by irregularities? 560 00:27:21,890 --> 00:27:24,425 Kurt won... but by 190 votes. 561 00:27:24,509 --> 00:27:25,771 Well, that's great! 562 00:27:26,685 --> 00:27:27,511 Right? 563 00:27:27,563 --> 00:27:28,577 Well, the problem is there's more 564 00:27:28,624 --> 00:27:30,804 ballots than there are seniors, 565 00:27:30,851 --> 00:27:33,384 and Kurt won by a suspiciously wide margin. 566 00:27:33,435 --> 00:27:35,885 No, no, I-I didn't do it. 567 00:27:36,438 --> 00:27:38,356 I didn't cheat, I mean, I mean I thought about it, but I-I-I... 568 00:27:38,407 --> 00:27:40,557 What do you mean you thought about it? 569 00:27:40,609 --> 00:27:43,828 I... I thought about it because I-I-I wanted to win so badly, 570 00:27:43,895 --> 00:27:45,329 and I was worried that I wouldn't. 571 00:27:45,397 --> 00:27:48,427 But, but, I didn't cheat. I-I worked really hard on this. 572 00:27:49,841 --> 00:27:51,168 I didn't cheat! 573 00:27:53,068 --> 00:27:54,635 Someone stuffed the ballot boxes. 574 00:27:55,066 --> 00:27:56,303 They think I did it. 575 00:27:56,355 --> 00:27:58,022 If they can prove it, I could be suspended. 576 00:27:58,106 --> 00:27:59,774 - Oh, my God, Kurt... - And I lost. 577 00:28:00,255 --> 00:28:01,659 I lost the election. 578 00:28:01,743 --> 00:28:03,977 I lost the lead in West Side Story. 579 00:28:04,029 --> 00:28:05,496 I can forget about New York and NYADA, 580 00:28:05,580 --> 00:28:06,980 'cause they'll never take me now. 581 00:28:07,032 --> 00:28:09,033 You know, the worst part is that I really, 582 00:28:09,117 --> 00:28:10,284 for a second, thought I won. 583 00:28:10,335 --> 00:28:11,752 Kurt, I'm-I'm so sorry... 584 00:28:11,820 --> 00:28:13,254 I have to find Blaine. 585 00:28:16,069 --> 00:28:17,634 Rachel, I want you to know, I didn't do this. 586 00:28:17,661 --> 00:28:18,377 I did it. 587 00:28:19,011 --> 00:28:20,961 What? What were you thinking? 588 00:28:21,013 --> 00:28:22,254 I-I-I... I wasn't thinking. 589 00:28:22,287 --> 00:28:24,692 I-I just... I wanted to help him so bad. 590 00:28:31,655 --> 00:28:33,940 - You have to go tell Figgins. - I can't, I'll get suspended. 591 00:28:33,969 --> 00:28:35,764 Rachel, Kurt'll get suspended. 592 00:28:41,814 --> 00:28:44,849 Who can tell me the quadratic equation? 593 00:28:44,900 --> 00:28:46,618 Noah, I told you, you don't have to 594 00:28:46,685 --> 00:28:48,286 ask permission to go to the bathroom. 595 00:28:48,353 --> 00:28:50,238 It's x equals negative B plus or minus 596 00:28:50,322 --> 00:28:52,407 the square root of B squared minus 4AC. 597 00:28:52,491 --> 00:28:53,875 All over 2A. 598 00:28:54,474 --> 00:28:56,375 That's right. Who told you? 599 00:28:56,860 --> 00:28:57,747 Um, I did. 600 00:28:57,876 --> 00:28:59,852 I've been doing the books for my pool-cleaning business. 601 00:28:59,927 --> 00:29:01,427 I've got mad math skills, yo! 602 00:29:01,532 --> 00:29:03,734 I'm like that Beautiful Mind guy, without all the crazy. 603 00:29:05,419 --> 00:29:06,703 You're go for Puckerman. 604 00:29:10,051 --> 00:29:12,613 - Class isn't over! - Sorry. Family emergency. 605 00:29:17,381 --> 00:29:19,182 What happened? Where is she? 606 00:29:19,249 --> 00:29:20,516 I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called you, I just... 607 00:29:20,584 --> 00:29:22,585 - I don't have anybody else. - Is she okay? 608 00:29:22,636 --> 00:29:24,520 She's with the doctor. She slipped and 609 00:29:24,588 --> 00:29:27,106 hit her lip on the floor, and there was blood everywhere. 610 00:29:27,191 --> 00:29:28,775 I turned my back for three seconds. 611 00:29:28,859 --> 00:29:30,026 I'm freaking out now. 612 00:29:30,093 --> 00:29:31,260 They won't even let me in the room with her. 613 00:29:31,312 --> 00:29:32,979 It's cool. I'm here now. 614 00:29:33,063 --> 00:29:34,981 Hi. Uh, her bottom tooth went through her lip. 615 00:29:35,065 --> 00:29:36,699 Couple stitches, she'll be fine. 616 00:29:36,767 --> 00:29:39,335 Really? Wait. I want her to see a plastic surgeon first. 617 00:29:39,403 --> 00:29:41,571 Well, I've gen plenty of stitches. 618 00:29:41,622 --> 00:29:44,273 I live a somewhat active lifestyle... judo, paintball... 619 00:29:44,325 --> 00:29:46,459 which means I've had more stitches than Frankenstein, 620 00:29:46,543 --> 00:29:47,961 so if anyone's gonna touch Beth's face, 621 00:29:48,412 --> 00:29:50,007 it's gonna be a plastic surgeon. 622 00:29:50,379 --> 00:29:51,983 I'll page her. 623 00:29:56,138 --> 00:29:58,112 It's okay. I'm here now. 624 00:29:58,229 --> 00:30:00,097 Everything's gonna be okay. 625 00:30:05,095 --> 00:30:07,146 Yeah. I did a good job. 626 00:30:07,231 --> 00:30:08,598 You're very pretty. 627 00:30:08,649 --> 00:30:11,133 You know, the advantage of a relationship 628 00:30:11,185 --> 00:30:14,187 with a younger dude is that I still got four me rounds in me 629 00:30:14,271 --> 00:30:15,655 before I need a steak sandwich and a Coke Zero. 630 00:30:15,739 --> 00:30:17,774 You need to go. 631 00:30:17,825 --> 00:30:19,742 Before Beth wakes up. 632 00:30:20,911 --> 00:30:22,779 This was a mistake. 633 00:30:22,830 --> 00:30:24,614 I was a mess at the hospital. 634 00:30:24,665 --> 00:30:26,199 Yeah, I was like freakin' Wolverine. 635 00:30:26,283 --> 00:30:27,867 Beth would have a big scar on her lip 636 00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:29,437 for the rest of her life if it weren't for me. 637 00:30:29,753 --> 00:30:32,705 Okay. This is just wrong. Go. 638 00:30:32,790 --> 00:30:33,873 Please. Go. 639 00:30:33,957 --> 00:30:35,208 You know what? 640 00:30:35,292 --> 00:30:36,492 Screw you. 641 00:30:36,543 --> 00:30:38,211 Yeah, you got the boom and the pow, 642 00:30:38,295 --> 00:30:40,513 and your lips are cash money, but what really turned me on 643 00:30:40,597 --> 00:30:42,432 about you was how much of an ass-kicker you were. 644 00:30:42,499 --> 00:30:43,883 Winning all those championships, 645 00:30:43,967 --> 00:30:47,002 going to New York, raising Beth alone... all garbage. 646 00:30:47,054 --> 00:30:49,305 This was your chance to get in on the ground floor 647 00:30:49,356 --> 00:30:51,107 of something really special... me. 648 00:30:52,095 --> 00:30:54,685 But you're too much of a coward to go for it. 649 00:31:01,438 --> 00:31:03,672 Santana, you're all bones. 650 00:31:03,724 --> 00:31:05,845 Like Jesus on the cross. Eat. 651 00:31:05,908 --> 00:31:08,667 Abuelita, I have something that I want to talk to you about... 652 00:31:08,697 --> 00:31:11,607 Okay, who cares, talk with your mouth full, hm? 653 00:31:12,566 --> 00:31:14,350 No, no, no. Come on. 654 00:31:14,401 --> 00:31:16,185 Come on. Hmm? 655 00:31:18,572 --> 00:31:20,156 Ah. Okay. 656 00:31:24,998 --> 00:31:26,143 Look... 657 00:31:26,825 --> 00:31:29,715 I have to tell you a secret; a secret that I've 658 00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:32,385 - kept hidden for a long time, but... - You need salsa...? 659 00:31:32,469 --> 00:31:33,688 No, no, no. Escúchame. 660 00:31:33,975 --> 00:31:35,132 Please... 661 00:31:35,866 --> 00:31:38,244 - You're so special to me. - Santana, are you pregnant? 662 00:31:38,276 --> 00:31:39,861 Because I will beat you up with this chair. 663 00:31:39,862 --> 00:31:40,978 No, it's not... it's not that. 664 00:31:41,032 --> 00:31:41,781 Okay. 665 00:31:42,268 --> 00:31:44,516 It's just that I've watched you my whole life. 666 00:31:46,039 --> 00:31:48,156 And you've always been so strong. 667 00:31:49,113 --> 00:31:50,993 Done exactly what you believe, 668 00:31:51,243 --> 00:31:53,657 and never cared about what anyone else thought of you... 669 00:31:53,867 --> 00:31:56,381 Tell me about your life, I know mine. 670 00:31:56,916 --> 00:31:58,767 Abuelita... 671 00:32:01,933 --> 00:32:03,921 I love girls 672 00:32:04,707 --> 00:32:07,158 the way that I'm supposed to feel about boys. 673 00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:10,979 It's just something that's always been inside of me, 674 00:32:11,063 --> 00:32:12,814 and I really want to share it with you 675 00:32:12,898 --> 00:32:14,699 because I love you so much. 676 00:32:15,211 --> 00:32:16,812 I want you to know me. 677 00:32:16,896 --> 00:32:18,497 Who I really am. 678 00:32:19,233 --> 00:32:20,788 When I'm with Brittany... 679 00:32:21,676 --> 00:32:23,658 I finally understand what people are talking about 680 00:32:23,742 --> 00:32:25,660 when they talk about love. 681 00:32:26,961 --> 00:32:28,450 I've tried so hard 682 00:32:28,485 --> 00:32:31,821 to push this feeling away, and keep it locked inside... 683 00:32:32,494 --> 00:32:34,874 but every day just feels like a war. 684 00:32:34,958 --> 00:32:38,026 I walk around so mad at the world, 685 00:32:38,078 --> 00:32:40,079 but I'm really just fighting with myself. 686 00:32:42,500 --> 00:32:44,446 I don't want to fight anymore. 687 00:32:45,593 --> 00:32:47,391 I'm just too tired. 688 00:32:48,199 --> 00:32:50,234 I have to just be me. 689 00:32:53,426 --> 00:32:54,777 Say something, please. 690 00:32:56,051 --> 00:32:58,397 Everyone has secrets, Santana. 691 00:32:58,677 --> 00:33:00,816 They're called secrets for a reason. 692 00:33:01,739 --> 00:33:03,485 I want you to leave this house. 693 00:33:03,530 --> 00:33:05,765 I don't ever want to see you again. 694 00:33:07,610 --> 00:33:08,744 - Abuela, you... - Go. 695 00:33:08,790 --> 00:33:09,673 - You don't... - Now. 696 00:33:09,741 --> 00:33:12,186 I'm the same person I was a minute ago. 697 00:33:12,238 --> 00:33:13,605 You made your choice. 698 00:33:13,743 --> 00:33:15,377 Now I have made mine. 699 00:33:16,874 --> 00:33:18,284 But why? 700 00:33:19,132 --> 00:33:22,571 It's selfish of you to make me uncomfortable. 701 00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:27,209 The sin isn't in the thing, 702 00:33:27,260 --> 00:33:30,129 it's in the scandal, when people talk about it aloud. 703 00:33:30,784 --> 00:33:32,204 So you're saying it would've been better 704 00:33:32,241 --> 00:33:33,675 if I would've kept this a secret? 705 00:33:40,205 --> 00:33:40,954 Abuela... 706 00:33:53,821 --> 00:33:55,271 I didn't bring protection. 707 00:33:55,322 --> 00:33:56,873 It's okay. I don't care. 708 00:33:58,483 --> 00:34:00,751 Under normal circumstances, I'd take my chances, 709 00:34:00,819 --> 00:34:02,703 but we have a pretty crappy track record. 710 00:34:02,788 --> 00:34:04,822 Maybe we'll get lucky again. 711 00:34:04,873 --> 00:34:06,246 You mean unlucky. 712 00:34:07,230 --> 00:34:09,481 Look, trying to get Beth back was a stupid idea. 713 00:34:09,806 --> 00:34:10,956 You're just figuring this out now? 714 00:34:11,046 --> 00:34:12,163 But we made one perfect baby. 715 00:34:12,214 --> 00:34:13,839 We can make another. 716 00:34:14,383 --> 00:34:16,350 We have everything we need. 717 00:34:16,435 --> 00:34:17,668 Wait... 718 00:34:18,890 --> 00:34:20,550 Is this why you invited me over? 719 00:34:21,273 --> 00:34:23,224 See, this is what happens when you have anger sex. 720 00:34:23,308 --> 00:34:24,358 Why are you angry at me? 721 00:34:24,443 --> 00:34:25,726 Fine! You don't want this? 722 00:34:25,811 --> 00:34:27,311 There's 20 other guys at this school who would 723 00:34:27,362 --> 00:34:29,530 kill to give me what I want; they would kill to love me. 724 00:34:30,029 --> 00:34:32,397 I'm not angry at you. I let you down. 725 00:34:33,058 --> 00:34:34,158 We all did. 726 00:34:35,237 --> 00:34:36,237 You just spent a whole week 727 00:34:36,321 --> 00:34:37,265 helping Santana with a secret 728 00:34:37,285 --> 00:34:38,702 everybody already knows, and not one person 729 00:34:38,781 --> 00:34:40,848 took ten seconds to help you. 730 00:34:41,743 --> 00:34:43,027 And you're a frickin' mess. 731 00:34:44,362 --> 00:34:45,796 You have been for three years. 732 00:34:47,499 --> 00:34:49,102 Ever since I knocked you up. 733 00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:55,973 You don't need a baby or a dude 734 00:34:56,041 --> 00:34:57,508 or anyone to make you special. 735 00:34:58,806 --> 00:35:00,011 If there's one person that I'm sure 736 00:35:00,062 --> 00:35:03,116 is gonna get the hell out of this town and make something of herself, 737 00:35:04,024 --> 00:35:05,164 it's you. 738 00:35:06,399 --> 00:35:07,730 Maybe I was just... 739 00:35:08,535 --> 00:35:11,704 getting all my crazy, bad decisions out of the way early. 740 00:35:11,890 --> 00:35:14,025 I see you somewhere warm and glamorous, 741 00:35:14,092 --> 00:35:18,045 like L.A. or Miami or Toronto. 742 00:35:21,283 --> 00:35:22,713 Fine. 743 00:35:23,941 --> 00:35:25,670 But you have to do something for me. 744 00:35:26,838 --> 00:35:27,955 You're staying here. 745 00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:30,791 You're gonna lie with me and hold me. 746 00:35:32,111 --> 00:35:33,606 Okay. 747 00:35:34,512 --> 00:35:36,296 But no funny business. 748 00:35:42,890 --> 00:35:44,421 Who are you angry at? 749 00:35:44,756 --> 00:35:47,475 You know, the whole "anger sex" thing. 750 00:35:51,898 --> 00:35:53,547 I need to tell you something. 751 00:35:54,564 --> 00:35:56,648 But you have to promise to keep it a secret. 752 00:36:03,775 --> 00:36:04,870 How bad was it? 753 00:36:04,965 --> 00:36:06,394 Dukakis bad. 754 00:36:07,362 --> 00:36:09,830 Third place with 16% of the vote. 755 00:36:09,897 --> 00:36:12,916 What does that mean for... us? 756 00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:16,036 Yeah, I have the same question. 757 00:36:16,087 --> 00:36:17,788 Now that the election's over, 758 00:36:17,809 --> 00:36:20,061 you two don't have to pretend to be something you're not. 759 00:36:20,075 --> 00:36:21,705 - Now, Shannon... - Cooter, have a seat 760 00:36:21,740 --> 00:36:23,168 on that Pilates ball right over there. 761 00:36:23,224 --> 00:36:24,996 This is between me... 762 00:36:24,997 --> 00:36:26,965 and Brian Dennehy. 763 00:36:27,414 --> 00:36:29,498 I lost a lot in the last 24 hours. 764 00:36:29,567 --> 00:36:32,269 Lost an election, lost my reputation, 765 00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:34,655 I lost an enormous last-minute bet I placed on myself 766 00:36:34,739 --> 00:36:37,489 with a very shady bookie from Vegas. 767 00:36:37,574 --> 00:36:39,994 Cooter Mankins is the best thing to happen to me 768 00:36:40,078 --> 00:36:43,831 since a sophomore named Becky Jackson waddled into my life, 769 00:36:44,172 --> 00:36:47,391 and I will be damned if I lose him, too. 770 00:36:49,438 --> 00:36:51,472 Shannon, I like you heaps. 771 00:36:52,104 --> 00:36:56,303 But I'd be lying if I told you I didn't like Sue here, too. 772 00:36:58,123 --> 00:36:59,596 I don't know what to say. 773 00:36:59,647 --> 00:37:01,315 I've had the same problem. 774 00:37:01,359 --> 00:37:03,420 I haven't known what to say, either. 775 00:37:03,783 --> 00:37:05,635 But I feel like I finally do. 776 00:37:06,411 --> 00:37:08,105 Cooter, I'm in love with you. 777 00:37:08,156 --> 00:37:10,741 And I'm sorry I haven't told you till now, 778 00:37:10,808 --> 00:37:13,310 and I'm sorry I let a tall, pretty blonde 779 00:37:13,361 --> 00:37:15,026 swoop in and snatch you right away, 780 00:37:15,144 --> 00:37:16,401 but I'm telling you now, 781 00:37:16,433 --> 00:37:18,297 if I had to bench-press a wildebeest 782 00:37:18,328 --> 00:37:20,150 just to prove to you how much you mean to me, 783 00:37:20,201 --> 00:37:21,502 I would do it. 784 00:37:21,586 --> 00:37:24,488 I would do anything to win you back, Coot. 785 00:37:26,286 --> 00:37:28,787 And I will not go down without a fight. 786 00:37:33,181 --> 00:37:34,331 Okay, guys. 787 00:37:34,382 --> 00:37:35,799 Shelby and I just wanted to say 788 00:37:35,850 --> 00:37:37,267 that you've really inspired us. 789 00:37:37,335 --> 00:37:38,552 When we face off at Sectionals, 790 00:37:38,636 --> 00:37:39,803 it will be with more empathy, 791 00:37:39,854 --> 00:37:42,145 and a deeper understanding of each other. 792 00:37:42,390 --> 00:37:43,307 - That's right. - That's right! 793 00:37:47,529 --> 00:37:48,678 Where's Rachel? 794 00:37:48,730 --> 00:37:50,039 She never misses applause. 795 00:37:50,336 --> 00:37:52,232 She's dealing with stuff. 796 00:37:52,625 --> 00:37:53,984 - Mr. Shue? - Yeah. 797 00:37:54,980 --> 00:37:58,955 As the son of Ohio's recently-minted Congressman... 798 00:37:59,148 --> 00:38:01,733 Yeah, Burt! 799 00:38:01,756 --> 00:38:04,581 and to dispel any lingering clouds of suspicion, 800 00:38:04,667 --> 00:38:07,464 I would like to, personally and publicly, 801 00:38:08,503 --> 00:38:11,176 congratulate President Brittany. 802 00:38:12,554 --> 00:38:15,255 The people have spoken, and they want you, Brit. 803 00:38:15,847 --> 00:38:17,547 They want Pixy Stix. 804 00:38:18,709 --> 00:38:20,094 Rule wisely. 805 00:38:20,178 --> 00:38:21,762 Rule fabulously. 806 00:38:21,846 --> 00:38:23,263 That was the sweetest thing anybody's ever said to me. 807 00:38:23,348 --> 00:38:24,714 Ooh! Thank you, Kurt. 808 00:38:24,766 --> 00:38:27,050 You're still the most unicorn of them all, so... 809 00:38:27,102 --> 00:38:28,885 Clap, clap, clap. 810 00:38:30,188 --> 00:38:32,239 Maybe I could put that on my NYADA application. 811 00:38:32,323 --> 00:38:33,557 Don't give up hope, ever. 812 00:38:33,608 --> 00:38:34,775 We'll figure something out. 813 00:38:35,851 --> 00:38:37,191 Quinn, are you okay? 814 00:38:38,780 --> 00:38:40,447 Santana, will you bring us home? 815 00:38:40,532 --> 00:38:42,583 - That's right! - Thanks, Mr. Shue. 816 00:38:45,268 --> 00:38:48,471 So I picked a song that gives me strength and gets me through. 817 00:38:48,596 --> 00:38:50,292 Same way all of you do. 818 00:38:50,839 --> 00:38:54,511 The struggle continues, but at least I know I'm not alone. 819 00:39:10,228 --> 00:39:13,280 Even 820 00:39:13,364 --> 00:39:17,317 Through the darkest phase 821 00:39:17,402 --> 00:39:20,737 Be it 822 00:39:20,788 --> 00:39:24,291 Thick or thin 823 00:39:24,375 --> 00:39:28,128 Always 824 00:39:28,213 --> 00:39:32,282 Someone marches brave 825 00:39:32,333 --> 00:39:34,751 Here beneath 826 00:39:34,802 --> 00:39:39,840 My skin 827 00:39:39,924 --> 00:39:43,460 And constant 828 00:39:43,511 --> 00:39:46,930 Craving 829 00:39:46,981 --> 00:39:51,468 Has always 830 00:39:51,519 --> 00:39:53,303 Been 831 00:39:54,522 --> 00:39:57,858 Maybe 832 00:39:57,942 --> 00:40:01,945 A great magnet pulls 833 00:40:01,996 --> 00:40:04,981 All souls 834 00:40:05,033 --> 00:40:09,503 Towards truth 835 00:40:09,587 --> 00:40:12,656 Or maybe 836 00:40:12,707 --> 00:40:16,460 It is life itself 837 00:40:16,511 --> 00:40:20,330 Leads wisdom 838 00:40:20,381 --> 00:40:24,051 To its youth 839 00:40:24,135 --> 00:40:28,055 Constant 840 00:40:28,139 --> 00:40:31,675 Craving 841 00:40:31,726 --> 00:40:35,512 Has always 842 00:40:35,563 --> 00:40:37,481 Been 843 00:40:38,866 --> 00:40:42,786 Craving... 844 00:40:44,622 --> 00:40:47,658 Ah-ha 845 00:40:47,709 --> 00:40:51,912 Constant craving 846 00:40:51,996 --> 00:40:55,699 Has al... 847 00:40:55,750 --> 00:40:58,885 Ways been 848 00:40:58,970 --> 00:41:03,006 Has al... 849 00:41:03,057 --> 00:41:06,810 Ways been 850 00:41:06,877 --> 00:41:10,547 Has al... 851 00:41:10,598 --> 00:41:14,318 Ways been 852 00:41:14,385 --> 00:41:18,021 Has al... 853 00:41:18,072 --> 00:41:19,556 Ways been 854 00:41:19,607 --> 00:41:25,395 Has always been. 855 00:41:31,938 --> 00:41:33,003 Rachel? 856 00:41:33,937 --> 00:41:35,905 I just, um, told Principal Figgins 857 00:41:35,957 --> 00:41:38,508 that I rigged the election so that Kurt would win. 858 00:41:39,139 --> 00:41:40,711 Kurt, please, don't hate me. 859 00:41:40,762 --> 00:41:41,962 You're totally in the clear. 860 00:41:42,046 --> 00:41:43,463 What did he say? 861 00:41:44,228 --> 00:41:46,249 He said that he had no choice 862 00:41:46,301 --> 00:41:48,302 but to put it on my permanent record, 863 00:41:48,386 --> 00:41:50,404 and that I'm suspended for a week. 864 00:41:51,943 --> 00:41:56,179 Also he said that I was banned from competing at Sectionals. 865 00:41:56,232 --> 00:41:58,932 Sync and corrected by dr.jackson for www.addic7ed.com