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00:00:02,080 --> 00:00:03,844
[ School Bell Rings ] [
Sue ] Dear jo urna/.'
2
00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:07,811
It's Christmas again- that time of
year when parents aren't arrested...
3
00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:12,044
for forcing their children to sit
on an old man's weirdly hot lap,
4
00:00:12,120 --> 00:00:17,286
that magical seas on when live
seemingly separa re story lines- - .
5
00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:20,170
are cleverly sandwiched
between commercial breaks...
6
00:00:20,240 --> 00:00:24,529
and then tied together
at the end like a beautiful bow.
7
00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:26,921
Like that movie,
Love Actually,
8
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:29,446
which I don't think anyone
really cares for,
9
00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:32,729
and yet it is constantly
on cable.
10
00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:35,609
[ Buying 1
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00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:38,485
[School Bell Rings]
12
00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:52,525
Whoa. Hey, dude,
are you all right?
13
00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:56,087
Whoa. Wh-What happened
to your face?
14
00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:58,202
I fell, okay?
15
00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:01,682
The stupid janitor didn't put salt
on the ramp like he's supposed to,
16
00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:04,889
and my wheels don't have chains,
so I slipped backwards...
17
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,286
and tipped over
on the ice.
18
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,721
It's fine. It's nothing.
No,no,no,no- I%ey,hey,hey.
19
00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:12,407
That's not nothing. That's
some pretty serious road rash.
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00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:14,448
Let me take you to the
nurse's office, all right?
21
00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:18,088
[ Sighs ]
22
00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:20,206
[School Bell Rings]
23
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,362
You hit your head
pretty hard.
24
00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:23,965
I'm going to go call
your mother.
25
00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:25,883
Lay down
till she gets here.
26
00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:28,770
- Want me to help you get up on the cot?
- No.
27
00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:30,729
I don't want anybody
to help me with anything.
28
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I'm tired of being so helpless. I'm
tired of everybody pitying me.
29
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:36,845
And I'm tired of being
in this damn chair.
30
00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:38,763
Anyone could have fallen
on the ice, all right?
31
00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:40,649
Yeah, but they could've
gotten back up...
32
00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:43,246
instead of laying there screaming for
help until some freshman girl showed up.
33
00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:46,290
Dude, don't...
bite my head off,
34
00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:49,603
but you need some rest, so I'm
gonna help you out, all right?
35
00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:04,244
I just wish I was never
in that dumb chair.
36
00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:07,005
[ Finn, Echoing ]
I know, buddy. I know.
37
00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:43,123
[School Bell Rings]
38
00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:49,769
Tina! Look.
39
00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:52,002
Can you believe it?
40
00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:55,368
B-B-Believe wh-what?
41
00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:57,488
Why are you stuttering again?
42
00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:00,291
She never stopped because
you never became friends.
43
00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:03,364
Rory? What are you
doing here?
44
00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:05,727
And talk slowly
so I can understand you.
45
00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:08,451
I'm your Christmas
guardian angel,
46
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:10,568
and I've granted your wish.
47
00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:12,688
Your car accident
neverhappened.
48
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:14,444
You were never
in that dumb chair.
49
00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:16,522
That's insane.
50
00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,285
Don't believe me?
Ask Becky.
51
00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:21,169
Merry Christmas, stud.
52
00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,767
Want to fool around?
I can't get pregnant.
53
00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:26,604
What? No.
54
00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:30,084
Becky's the school slut now.
55
00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:32,049
No one treats her
with any respect.
56
00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:34,811
But I do. I took her on a date.
No, you didn't.
57
00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:36,689
You were too busy throwing
losers in Dumpsters...
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00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:38,728
to give her any attention
or treat her with kindness,
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00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,406
and as a result, she never
learned any self-respect.
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00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:44,249
[ Finn]
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00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:47,210
- Who are you supposed to be- Super Homo?
- What are you guys doing?
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00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:50,284
Wanna play? Just having some
fun with Little Lord Gay Boy.
63
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,522
But you guys aren't
straight douche bags.
64
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:55,285
You sang Lady Gaga songs.
65
00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:58,203
Keep telling
those dirty lies,
66
00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,806
and we'll break
your friggin' legs.
67
00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:03,851
Geek.
68
00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:11,209
Kurt, didn't you graduate?
69
00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:15,410
I should've, but I couldn't bear coming
to school more than twice a week...
70
00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:17,403
because of all the bullying.
71
00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:19,448
All the home schooling
set me back a year.
72
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:21,921
What does Blaine say
about that?
73
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,002
Who's Blaine?
74
00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:27,122
Mr. Schue,
thank God you're here.
75
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,328
We need to call an emergency
meeting of the Glee Club.
76
00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:31,129
What Glee Club?
77
00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:34,044
I couldn't get enough of you brats interested
to get that lame idea off the ground.
78
00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:37,203
Will, I need your paycheck before you
blow it all on booze and flannel shirts.
79
00:04:37,280 --> 00:04:39,203
Sheets-N-Things is having
a big Christmas sale,
80
00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:42,602
and we desperately need an air purifier for
our moldy garbage heap of an apartment.
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00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:44,250
That's a doll.
Shh!
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00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:47,802
He's so drunk, he doesn't
know the difference.
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You're cute.
84
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,926
Where's Miss Pillsbury?
In Hawaii.
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With her dear, sweet husband,
Coach Tanaka.
86
00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:57,129
It's a match made in heaven,
right, honey?
87
00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:58,690
That's right.
88
00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:00,250
Oh.
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00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:04,045
Oh! [Gas Shh! D3]
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00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:14,847
Rachel?
What are you doing here?
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00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:18,248
You live in New York. You go to the most
prestigious drama school in the country.
92
00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:22,484
Well, I am gonna be in the Lima Community
Players' production of The /I//us/'c /I//an-
93
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,403
Tell me you're at least playing
Marian the Librarian.
94
00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:26,721
No, that's the lead.
I'm just in the chorus.
95
00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:28,325
Excuse me.
96
00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:31,006
- Rachel, what's going on?
- Let go of me!
97
00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:33,805
What happened to you?
Vvhathappenedtozfllofus? [ Shouting ]
98
00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:36,201
[ Finn ] Hey!
Let go!
99
00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:41,162
Rory! Rory, where are you?
100
00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:42,844
What's wrong?
101
00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:45,082
What's wrong?
Everything.
102
00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:47,003
How can everything
be so messed up?
103
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,889
You weren't
in a wheelchair,
104
00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:51,850
so you were too busy playing
football to join Glee.
105
00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:56,130
And it turns out you were
the glue of Glee, Artie.
106
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The quiet, steady,
beating heart of the group.
107
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:02,170
No glue, no Glee.
108
00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:04,129
I can fix this.
I can.
109
00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:07,886
I'll get them all back together.
Just you watch. I'll fix it.
110
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:10,850
You're probably wondering why I've asked
you all to meet me in the choir room.
111
00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:12,763
This is Coach Sue's
craft room.
112
00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:15,081
Well, in an alternate universe,
it was the choir room.
113
00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:17,288
- I had a dream about that once.
- I know.
114
00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:19,362
And it was a place
that always made me feel safe.
115
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:21,608
And I know it did
for a lot of you too.
116
00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:24,047
That's 'cause we danced
together, we sang together,
117
00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:25,929
we took turns up here.
118
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:28,924
- Like Finn said, it's about the love
of the music. - Dude, are you high?
119
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:32,607
- I never said that.
- Why don't you just show us what you mean?
120
00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:34,364
Okay -
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♪♪ [ Upbeat Pop]
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♪ Feliz Navidad ♪
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♪ Feliz Navidad ♪
124
00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:49,486
♪ Feliz Navidad
Préspero ar"1o y felicidad ♪
125
00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:53,122
♪ Feliz Navidad ♪
126
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:56,282
♪ Feliz Navidad ♪
127
00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:58,366
♪ Feliz Navidad ♪
128
00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:02,087
♪ Préspero afio
y felicidad ♪
129
00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:10,409
♪ I wanna wish you
a merry Christmas ♪
130
00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:13,529
♪ From the bottom
of my heart ♪
131
00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:16,364
♪ Feliz Navidad ♪
132
00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:18,841
♪ Feliz Navidad ♪
133
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,604
♪ Feliz Navidad ♪
134
00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:25,730
♪ Préspero afio
y felicidad ♪
135
00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:27,365
♪ Feliz Navidad ♪
136
00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:30,888
♪ Feliz Navidad ♪
137
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:33,808
♪ Feliz Navidad ♪
138
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:37,123
♪ Préspero afio
y felicidad ♪
139
00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:45,529
♪ I wanna wish you
a merry Christmas ♪
140
00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:48,968
♪ From the bottom
of my heart ♪
141
00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:56,561
♪ I wanna wish you
a merry Christmas ♪
142
00:07:56,640 --> 00:08:00,884
♪ From the bottom
of my heart ♪♪
143
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,687
That was so gay.
144
00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:06,127
[School Bell Rings]
145
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:07,565
[ Sewing Machine Whirring ]
146
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,287
Is that mine?
147
00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,806
No. It's Quinn's.
148
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:27,690
Without the encouragement and support
from you and her friends in Glee,
149
00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:31,128
Quinn was never able to walk
again after her accident.
150
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:33,009
Wait a minute.
If there was no Glee Club,
151
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,367
there was no Finnchel wedding
for her to drive to, so-
152
00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:37,920
Quinn texts and drives
in every timeline, Artie.
153
00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,568
Okay.
Why isn't she in it?
154
00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,165
She died.
155
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:46,930
How?
156
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,843
Of a broken heart.
157
00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:53,963
Much like her body,
her spirit never recovered.
158
00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:19,924
[ Finn's Voice, Echoing]
Come on, dude. Your mom's here.
159
00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:23,322
[ Pants]
160
00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:29,410
[ Exhales]
161
00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:32,443
You know, I could use
some help here.
162
00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:37,927
Come on.
Grab onto me.
163
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:40,241
[ Finn Grunts]
164
00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:42,641
Sorry, Artie.
165
00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:46,327
I know it really sucks being
in this chair sometimes.
166
00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:49,643
For better or for worse,
this chair is a part of me.
167
00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:52,451
It's made me who I am.
168
00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:54,170
[ Dings ]
169
00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:58,761
[Siren Wailing In Distance]
170
00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:01,684
Well, if you're not gonna come to
Lima, then my dads and I insist...
171
00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:03,922
you come with us to the Rosie
O'Donnell Gay Holiday Cruise.
172
00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:05,849
It's gonna be
so much fun!
173
00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:08,605
There's even gonna be a Jesse Tyler
Ferguson look-alike contest.
174
00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:11,331
[ Gasps ] Well, in that case, I'm
definitely gonna have to pass.
175
00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:14,125
Honey, uh- Besides, there's no
reason to go to Lima anyway.
176
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:17,170
My dad and Finn and Carole are visiting
Carole's sister in Zanesville,
177
00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:19,242
and she always has too much
eggnog and blacks out.
178
00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:20,970
Happy holidays!
179
00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:23,367
Well, what about Blaine?
I talked to him.
180
00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:26,808
But, you know, he knows that I'm
saving my money for NYADA now.
181
00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:29,360
And it'll be good to just have
some time for myself, you know,
182
00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:31,841
and think about things
and- [ Knocking On Door]
183
00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:33,524
Can you get that?
184
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,967
[ Rachel ] Okay, what do
we need for this tree?
185
00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:37,565
It's just hopeless.
186
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:41,768
Um, Dad!
187
00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:43,842
' [ La -
_ Bungghlng ]
188
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:46,643
- Season's greetings!
- Oh, my God!
189
00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:49,286
Well, I got a tree. You need one?
G- Come in!
190
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:52,085
Okay. All right. I got it, I got it.
[ Gasping, Laughing ]
191
00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:56,166
Okay, you can
let go now.
192
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:57,685
[ Rachel ]
Okay.
193
00:10:57,800 --> 00:10:59,802
Come on.
Let's go look at it.
194
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:03,002
[ Rachel Gasps]
Oh, it's perfect.
195
00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:07,130
Yeah, well, I couldn't imagine you guys
celebrating Christmas without a real tree.
196
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,804
His mom used to
always buy the tree.
197
00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:11,804
I'd always tell her to wait till I got
home from work, but she never could.
198
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,565
And then, the first Christmas
after his mom died,
199
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:16,563
I totally forgot about it.
200
00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:19,689
That is, until
I saw little Kurt...
201
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:22,491
hanging his own special version
of a Christmas ornament...
202
00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:25,404
on his window shade
Christmas Eve.
203
00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:28,689
Oh. My mom's
perfume bottle.
204
00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:30,842
Oh, I always loved
the way she smelled.
205
00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,406
[ Burt] So I pull him out of
bed, I throw a coat on him,
206
00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:36,290
I drive straight through a snowstorm,
right down to the Christmas tree sale.
207
00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:37,691
[ Rachel ]
Hmm.
208
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:40,963
[ Burt] It was the first time
he smiled since his mom died.
209
00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:45,641
Uh, no tears
on Christmas Eve.
210
00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:48,007
This box is full
of happy memories as well.
211
00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:49,730
Like our Christmas trip
to Dollywood.
212
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:51,245
Oh, yeah.
That one I like.
213
00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:53,004
That trip was for me.
[ Chuckles ]
214
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,684
This redneck NASCAR trip,
that was for you.
215
00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:58,401
Hey, this is a nice ornament.
Let's hang 'em.
216
00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:00,642
All right, well,
I wish I could stay,
217
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,041
but can't really be late
for a cruise, so-
218
00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:06,329
Oh, hold on. You got to open this
before you go. Uh, happy Hanukkah.
219
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:09,210
- You got me something?
- Merry Christmas.
220
00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:13,484
Oh! It's lovely. It's for your
first New York holiday season.
221
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,443
Hang it together.
Thank you.
222
00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:18,404
And then you can go.
Okay. Oh!
223
00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:23,327
Kurt, okay, this is to our
very first New York Christmas.
224
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:24,447
[ Kurt]
Yeah.
225
00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:26,045
[ Horn Honking ]
226
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,088
I never thought
I'd see this day-
227
00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:29,924
us walking down
the streets of New York,
228
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,002
right after seeing
a live Broadway musical.
229
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:34,003
Well, the Rockettes might
have better legs than me,
230
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:35,889
but they can't touch
my “Single Ladies” performance.
231
00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:38,440
That was the best musical
I've ever seen.
232
00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:40,124
Ah, it's freezing!
233
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,567
I think it's time to check off
another Hummel family tradition:
234
00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:44,768
hot chocolate.
235
00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:47,286
♪♪ [ Muzak: “Joy to the World”]
236
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,484
Kurt, I have something
to tell you,
237
00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:54,484
and I came here because it's the kind of
thing I want to tell you face-to-face.
238
00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:57,564
- Don't like the sound of that. - Look,
I'm just gonna come out and say it...
239
00:12:57,640 --> 00:13:01,008
because there's
no good way to say it.
240
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:03,401
Uh, I have prostate cancer.
241
00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:08,803
[ Sighs ]
242
00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:10,689
I feel like
I'm gonna be sick.
243
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:13,286
No, no. Hey, hey. Look at me. Do
I look like a guy who's dying?
244
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:17,206
We caught it early. You know,
local stage, no spreading.
245
00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:19,806
Cure rate's nearly 100%.
246
00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:22,804
Uh- For healthy people, Dad.
You've already had a heart attack.
247
00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:26,123
The heart attack is what, you know,
made me get checkups twice a year.
248
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,122
It's just really scary...
249
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:35,206
to think that when I
finally reach my destiny,
250
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:37,123
that you won't be around
to see it.
251
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:39,202
He)'-
252
00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:43,251
I will be there.
I promise.
253
00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:50,000
[ Sighs ] Look, can I just give
you one piece of advice...
254
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:53,243
while we're still talking
father to son?
255
00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:57,166
This is three times I've had
to stare death in the eye.
256
00:13:57,240 --> 00:13:59,811
And you know the one thing
I took away from all that?
257
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:04,886
You've got to hold the people you
love close to you no matter what.
258
00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:10,891
♪ J' [Jazz]
259
00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:17,050
Dad, you okay? Do you need
a pillow or tea, water?
260
00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:21,045
No, Kurt, stop. Come on.
Let's focus on happy things.
261
00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:23,088
Like our Christmas
traditions.
262
00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:27,165
I'm looking forward to watching
basketball on Christmas Day...
263
00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:29,163
while you pretend
you watch with me.
264
00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:31,129
You mean while I
secretly read Vogue?
265
00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:34,761
That was never a secret. No, like
our other Christmas traditions.
266
00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:37,491
Like on Christmas Eve, where
we each exchange one gift.
267
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:39,210
My favorite part.
268
00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:41,800
All right. You first.
Ah, I saw that.
269
00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:43,484
[Laughs]
270
00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:45,562
Ah-ha-ha! Nice.
271
00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:47,842
I know it's cheesy, but
thought you'd like it. Aah!
272
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,048
Screw cheesy.
I love it.
273
00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:52,566
In México, they would
call me Sefior Queso.
274
00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:56,486
Look at this. Ah, man.
I love it, man.
275
00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:59,006
You are going to kick ass
at that school.
276
00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:03,567
That's the plan.
All right. My turn.
277
00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:06,325
Okay, so my gift to you
is really big.
278
00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:09,489
It's too big to put under the tree.
Curiosity piqued.
279
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:12,245
Okay, so you can pick it up
at this address,
280
00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:16,006
and, you know, if you don't
like it, you can return it.
281
00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:23,563
[ Man ]
♪ ...upon a midnight clear ♪
282
00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:26,610
♪ That glorious song ♪
283
00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:28,682
Package for Kurt Hummel.
284
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,728
Blaine?
Surprise!
285
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:34,406
Your dad called me out of the blue
and wanted to fly me out here...
286
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,847
just so I can see that look on your
face, and it's pretty priceless.
287
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:39,645
[Laughs] Actually, he
told me everything,
288
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:42,200
and I promise, I'll keep
an eye on him for you.
289
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:45,164
But the reason
why I'm here...
290
00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:46,924
is because he didn't
want us to miss out...
291
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,809
on another important
holiday tradition.
292
00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:51,645
Our Christmas duet.
293
00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:54,842
You are happy
to see me, right?
294
00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:58,208
Yeah. Yeah. Always.
295
00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:00,169
Well, come on.
Get your skates on.
296
00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:01,844
It's almost midnight.
Hurry up!
297
00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:05,402
♪♪ [ Blaine Scatting ]
298
00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:13,122
♪ I'm dreamin' ♪
299
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:17,609
♪ Of a white Christmas ♪
300
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:24,124
♪ With every Christmas card
I write ♪
301
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:27,568
♪ May your days May your
days May your days ♪
302
00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:32,009
♪ Be merry and bright;
303
00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:33,764
♪ And may all ♪
304
00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:37,526
♪ Your Christmases
be white ♪
305
00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:40,086
♪ Whoa, whoa ♪
306
00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:43,164
[ Harmonizing ]
♪ I-I-I-I'm dreaming ♪
307
00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:47,802
♪ Of a white Christmas ♪
308
00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:53,489
♪ With every Christmas card
I write ♪
309
00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:54,686
♪ Oh, oh;
310
00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:59,004
♪ May your days be merry ♪
311
00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:05,321
♪ And bright;
312
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:08,483
♪ And may all ♪
313
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:13,282
♪ Your Christmases ♪
314
00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:19,606
♪ Be white ♪
315
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:25,523
♪ I'm dreamin' ♪
316
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:30,242
♪ Of a white Christmas ♪♪
317
00:17:30,360 --> 00:17:33,364
♪♪ [ Both Scatting ]
318
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:34,885
♪♪ [ Ends ]
319
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:36,724
[ Bell Tolling ]
320
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:38,723
Listen. Hey.
321
00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:40,882
It's midnight.
322
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,525
It's Christmas.
Yeah.
323
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,090
Officially.
324
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:46,049
No matter what,
no matter where,
325
00:17:46,120 --> 00:17:48,805
even if we're
not... together,
326
00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:52,847
we're always gonna be
there for each other.
327
00:18:02,360 --> 00:18:04,647
[School Bell Rings]
328
00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:07,370
Oh, hey, Puckerman, yo.
329
00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:09,687
You going African, or are you
more Hebrew for the holidays?
330
00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:12,531
Yeah, Hanukkah or Kwanzaa?
Which is it? Kwanukkah!
331
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:14,568
Hey!
332
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:18,042
[Shouting ]
333
00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:21,488
Hey! One Puckerman
just ate your lunch.
334
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:25,810
What do you think's gonna happen when we unload
two barrels of Puokshot in your ugly mugs?
335
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:27,041
Huh?
336
00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:31,602
What are you lookin' at?
337
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:34,410
What are you doing here?
338
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:37,245
Just scoping out some chicks, doing a
little research for my screenplay.
339
00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:39,482
You're a screenwriter now?
340
00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:42,245
In L.A., you're nobody unless you're
somebody in the movie business.
341
00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:43,970
I'm almost done
with my first script.
342
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:47,123
It's sci-fi, but it has
a high school element.
343
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:50,283
Wow. That sounds
really cool actually.
344
00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:53,887
Well, if I'm being totally honest,
I also came back to talk to you.
345
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:55,962
I'm worried about you, dude.
346
00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:57,963
Well, I- I'm fine.
347
00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:00,407
Fine doesn't get into
fights in the hallway.
348
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:02,801
Think what you need is a little
mentoring from your big bro.
349
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,531
Come spend a few days in la-la land
with me. Let's do Hanukkah together.
350
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:07,682
All you need is some cash
for gas and burritos.
351
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:09,683
My hog has a sweet sidecar.
352
00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:12,085
Wait.
353
00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:16,085
You- You want me to ride all the
way to California in a Sidecar?
354
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:19,084
Where's your sense
of adventure?
355
00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:20,730
[School Bell Rings]
356
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:23,451
[ Motor Revs ]
357
00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:34,289
Noah Puckerman. There should
be a drive-on for us.
358
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:36,164
That's what they call
a pass that you get...
359
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:38,129
when you're allowed
to drive on to the lot.
360
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,123
It's a technical term.
361
00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:48,529
So, who's your meeting with?
Is it about your screenplay?
362
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,602
I'm just here
networking today.
363
00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:53,524
Played with the sweater puppies of one
of the assistants of one of the guys...
364
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:56,251
who produces one of me NCIS's,
and she got me the pass.
365
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:59,244
Wow. You really are
making things happen.
366
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:00,890
It was inevitable.
367
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:04,362
If you're in Hollywood and you're a Jew
or gay, you basically got it made.
368
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:08,090
What are you doing?
369
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:10,083
I told you- networking.
370
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:12,766
We need to let all the bigwigs
here know who we are.
371
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:14,729
Or, more specifically,
what we are.
372
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:17,690
♪♪ [ Upbeat]
373
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:22,243
♪ Oh, Hanukkah, oh, Hanukkah
Come light the menorah ♪
374
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:25,688
♪ Let's have a party
We'll all dance the hora ♪
375
00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:28,889
♪ Gather round the table
We'll give you a treat ♪
376
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:32,123
♪ Sevivonim to play with
and latkes to eat ♪
377
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:35,647
♪ And while we are playing ♪
378
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:39,930
♪ The candles are burning low;
379
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:43,129
♪ One for each night
They shed a sweet light ♪
380
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:46,966
♪ To remind us
of days long ago ♪
381
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:50,362
♪ One for each night
They shed a sweet light ♪
382
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:54,286
♪ To remind us
of days long ago ♪
383
00:20:54,360 --> 00:20:58,081
♪ Oh, Hanukkah, oh, Hanukkah
Come light the menorah ♪
384
00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:01,926
♪ Let's have a party
We'll all dance the hora ♪
385
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:05,288
♪ Gather round the table
We'll give you a treat ♪
386
00:21:05,360 --> 00:21:08,364
♪ Sevivonim to play with
and latkes to eat ♪
387
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:12,121
♪ And while we are playing ♪
[ Gunfire ]
388
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:15,761
♪ The candles are burning
low; [ Men Shouting ]
389
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:19,561
♪ One for each night
They shed a sweet light ♪
390
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:23,565
♪ To remind us
of days long ago ♪
391
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:27,042
♪ Oh, Hanukkah, oh, Hanukkah
Come light the menorah ♪
392
00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:30,920
♪ Let's have a party
We'll all dance the hora ♪
393
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:34,288
♪ Gather round the table
We'll give you a treat ♪
394
00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:38,081
♪ Sevivonim to play with
and latkes to eat ♪
395
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:41,482
♪ And while we are playing ♪
396
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:45,406
♪ The candles are burning low;
397
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:48,609
♪ One for each night
They shed a sweet light ♪
398
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:52,241
♪ To remind us
of days long ago ♪
399
00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:56,006
♪ One for each night
They shed a sweet light ♪
400
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:59,402
♪ To remind us
of days long ago ♪
401
00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:03,246
♪ One for each night
They shed a sweet light ♪
402
00:22:03,360 --> 00:22:05,886
_/~ To remind us of days
long ago ♪♪ [ Tool Buzzing ]
403
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:07,564
Happy Hanukkah!
404
00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:10,804
[Jake] I can't believe that
this is where you live.
405
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:14,566
No, I'm just renting. I think if I
buy, I'd want to be up in the hills.
406
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:16,802
One of those houses
they shoot porn in.
407
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:18,723
Excuse me.
408
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:23,091
- Aren't you the guy who cleans our pool?
- Yeah, Mrs. Cross, hey.
409
00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:25,083
I thought you were
in Hawaii for Christmas.
410
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:28,767
Yeah, we came back early. You have
five minutes till I call the police.
411
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:30,649
Dude, why did you
lie to me?
412
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:32,882
I didn't think you'd be impressed
by my apartment in the Valley...
413
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:35,691
filled with IKEA furniture I never
figured out how to put together.
414
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:38,047
So all that screenwriter stuff-
is that just garbage too?
415
00:22:38,120 --> 00:22:40,407
Figured it was my only chance to
convince you to move out here with me.
416
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:42,369
I'm a sophomore, man.
417
00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:46,001
I mean, I had to lie to my mom and tell her I
was going on vacation in Fort Lauderdale...
418
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:48,128
with Ryder and his family
just to get out here for this.
419
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,009
I'm a mess out here, dude.
420
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:52,048
It's lonely.
Got no friends.
421
00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:54,487
It's impossible to meet people 'cause
you spend the whole day in your car.
422
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:57,410
Why didn't you just tell me that?
We are family.
423
00:22:57,520 --> 00:22:59,363
I mean,
I would've understood.
424
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:02,729
That your big brother is a loser?
Let's go back to Lima.
425
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:05,451
If we leave this afternoon, we'll
make it back by Christmas Eve.
426
00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:08,330
If I go back, my mom's gonna make me go to
Breadstix for dinner on Christmas Day...
427
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:09,890
while my sister hangs out
with her Christian friends.
428
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:12,042
Cool. I'll go too.
429
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:14,208
And I'll invite my mom.
430
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:16,169
My mom hates your mom.
431
00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:18,368
Your mom hasn't ever
even met my mom.
432
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:21,364
You feel lonely? You want
this feeling of family?
433
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:25,007
Fine, then let's you and I- We'll
make it happen. [Zipper Zips ]
434
00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:30,087
♪♪ [ Muzak: “Jingle Bells”]
435
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:38,450
Thanks.
436
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:41,608
- Thanks.
- How great is this lasagna?
437
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:43,603
I saw you once, you know.
438
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:46,524
I came into that diner you were working
at after he told me about you.
439
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:50,286
You waited on me, acted like
you had no idea who I was.
440
00:23:50,360 --> 00:23:52,931
I didn't.
441
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:54,764
He never told me
he was married.
442
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:56,808
He did not wear his ring
when we were together.
443
00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:59,850
- Is that how you make yourself
feel better? - Stop it.
444
00:23:59,920 --> 00:24:01,524
He split on both of you.
445
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:04,410
Spent all these years hating each
other, keeping me and my brother apart,
446
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:06,767
and for what?
447
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:08,609
To spite some jerk
who never loved any of us?
448
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:10,887
Puck's right. We all have
one thing in common:
449
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:12,769
He ran out
on all of us.
450
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:16,366
This week with Puck
was... ridiculous,
451
00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:19,250
but it felt different
than being with a friend.
452
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,251
We're a family. Okay?
453
00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:27,211
A pretty messed-up one,
but still a family.
454
00:24:31,360 --> 00:24:32,885
Your father
really was an ass.
455
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:34,570
An epic ass.
[Jake Chuckles]
456
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:37,166
- So let's drink a toast.
- Yes, let's.
457
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:39,288
To the power
of the holidays,
458
00:24:39,360 --> 00:24:41,681
to new traditions...
459
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:46,721
and to an epic ass
that did one thing right:
460
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:49,087
He brought us together.
461
00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:50,047
Cheers.
462
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:55,087
- Merry Hanukkah, dude.
- Right back at you, Bro.
463
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:56,889
[ Slurping ]
464
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:00,604
[School Bell Rings]
465
00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:07,761
Hi, Marley. Here's a Rolex.
Merry Christmas.
466
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:13,683
Hi, Ryder.
Huh?
467
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:16,001
Here's a three-week vacation
to Saint-Tropez.
468
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:18,128
What?
Enjoy.
469
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:22,802
Boop.
What's this?
470
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:26,965
Those are the keys to your
brand-new 2013 Toyota Camry.
471
00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:29,088
Brittany, what are you doing?
472
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:32,164
Um, well, last week, I decided
to watch a documentary...
473
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:36,131
about the Mayan apocalypse,
which arrives on December 21, 2012.
474
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:38,123
So, I decided to cash in
all my savings...
475
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:41,761
so my friends and I could enjoy what's
left of our lives to the fullest.
476
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:44,844
Enjoy.
Merry Christmas, everybody.
477
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:47,366
[School Bell Rings]
478
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:52,047
Hey, Brittany. Um, can
I ask you a question?
479
00:25:52,120 --> 00:25:54,566
Yeah, not if you're gonna tell me
that the Mayan apocalypse isn't real.
480
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:56,802
'Cause the documentary I watched
was on the History Channel...
481
00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:58,609
involving real actors
portraying real events.
482
00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:00,648
No, listen.
483
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:03,330
I believe it too.
484
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:05,886
[ School Bell Rings ] Fact. 2012
is the year that Kim ll-Sung,
485
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:07,843
founder of North Korea,
would've turned 100.
486
00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:09,405
Divide 100 by 10, the
percentage of Americans...
487
00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:12,563
that believe the world will end the
21st of December, and you get 10-
488
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:14,961
Mexico's rank in the world
as a tourist destination-
489
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:16,246
whose president expects
the Mayan apocalypse...
490
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:19,164
to attract 52 million people
to his country.
491
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:22,449
It's all right there. All anyone
has to do is look at the numbers.
492
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:24,845
I'm terrified.
493
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:27,605
And we need to purify ourselves
for the last day of baktun,
494
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:30,160
the 144,000-day cycle
of the Mayan calendar.
495
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:33,687
Totally. We need to tell everyone we
know how we really feel about them.
496
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:36,001
[School Bell Rings]
497
00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:37,764
You guys, welcome
to the first meeting...
498
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:39,524
of the 2012
Mayan Apocalypse Club.
499
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:41,011
Wait.
That's what this is?
500
00:26:41,120 --> 00:26:42,645
Don't worry.
It's also the last meeting.
501
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:45,121
Because we're all so close, Sam
and I wanted to bring you here...
502
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:47,567
so we could finally tell you
our true feelings about you.
503
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:49,847
Tina, acting is
a pipe dream for you,
504
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:52,088
and your decision
to pursue it as a career...
505
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:54,481
is both irresponsible
and shocking.
506
00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:56,847
Joe, you haven't really made
much of an impression on me,
507
00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:58,410
and I don't really know
what your deal is.
508
00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:00,761
Wait a second.
This is the worst club ever.
509
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:03,207
We're not gonna just sit here
and let you insult us.
510
00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:06,841
I wasn't gonna insult you. All I wanted to
tell you was that I think you're delightful.
511
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:08,729
Guys, you can't leave yet.
You're gonna miss the best part!
512
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:10,609
Yeah. Okay.
Merry Christmas to you too.
513
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:13,889
Guys, we're not even gonna
make it to Christmas!
514
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:15,803
Can't believe
how naive they are.
515
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:19,009
I know. Some people just can't
face the cold, hard fact...
516
00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:22,050
that this Earth is really just
the back of a giant crocodile...
517
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,447
that's destroyed and
re-created every 500 years.
518
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,284
Well, at least
we have each other.
519
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:28,411
Yeah.
520
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,801
And since the world
is gonna end before Christmas,
521
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:33,167
in the meantime,
this will have to do.
522
00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:35,971
.I'.I' [ Rock]
523
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:39,089
[ Bells Jingling ]
524
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:42,482
♪ Jingle bell, jingle bell
Jingle bell rock;
525
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:45,609
♪ A-jingle bells swing
and jingle bells ring ♪
526
00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:49,002
♪ Snowing and blowing up
bushels of fun ♪
527
00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:51,970
♪ Now the jingle hop
has begun ♪
528
00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:55,283
♪ Jingle bell, jingle bell
Jingle bell rock;
529
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:57,971
♪ A-jingle bells chime
in jingle bell time ♪
530
00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:01,408
♪ Dancing and prancing
in Jingle Bell Square ♪
531
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:04,165
♪ In the frosty air;
532
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:07,881
♪ What a bright time
It's the right time ♪
533
00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:10,042
♪ To rock the night away;
534
00:28:10,120 --> 00:28:13,841
♪ Jingle bell time
is a swell time ♪
535
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:17,248
♪ To go gliding
in a one-horse sleigh ♪
536
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:20,164
♪ Giddyap, jingle horse
Pick up your feet ♪
537
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:23,687
♪ A-jingle around the clock ♪
538
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:26,604
♪ Mix and a-mingle
in the jingling beat;
539
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:29,763
♪ That's the jingle bell rock ♪
540
00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:33,322
♪ Jingle bell, jingle bell
Jingle bell rock;
541
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:35,886
♪ Jingle bell chime
in jingle bell time ♪
542
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:39,646
♪ Snowing and blowing up
bushels of fun ♪
543
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:42,246
♪ Now the jingle hop
has begun ♪
544
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:45,608
♪ Giddyap, jingle horse
Pick up your feet ♪
545
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:49,127
♪ Jingle around the clock ♪
546
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:52,044
♪ A-mix and a-mingle
in the jingling beat;
547
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:55,442
♪ That's the jingle bell
That's the jingle bell ♪
548
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:59,889
♪ That's the jingle bell rock ♪
549
00:28:59,960 --> 00:29:02,964
♪ Jingle bell, jingle bell
Jingle bell rock;
550
00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:06,123
♪ Jingle bell, jingle bell
Jingle bell ♪
551
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:10,410
♪ ROCK J3
552
00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:12,448
- Whoo!
- ♪♪ [ Ends ]
553
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:14,125
Yes!
554
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:16,726
[Sighs]
And here's another rock.
555
00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:21,000
Brittany,
556
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:24,163
before the world ends,
will you marry me?
557
00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:27,764
Are you sure you're
qualified to marry us?
558
00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:29,285
You betcha, kiddo.
559
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:32,170
I went on a Mayan church Web
site and I got ordained.
560
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:34,686
If you're really serious
about doing this.
561
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:37,286
Yeah. I want Brittany and I
to meet Q'uq'umatz,
562
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:39,044
the feathered snake god,
together.
563
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:41,684
Put your hands here.
564
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:48,847
Brittany, I've always thought
you were super hot...
565
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:50,922
and really smart,
566
00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:54,010
but what I didn't know
was that...
567
00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:57,163
you were going to end up
being my soul mate.
568
00:29:57,240 --> 00:29:58,924
Who knows what the future
holds for us?
569
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:02,686
Probably tsunamis
and horrible sea monsters.
570
00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:06,886
But now I'm not worried about
that because I have you.
571
00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:13,162
Sam, when you first
joined the Glee Club,
572
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:15,004
I didn't notice
for a while.
573
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:18,129
It wasn't until you did
a Rich Little impression...
574
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:20,567
and then told me it was
a Rich Little impression...
575
00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:22,847
and explained
who Rich Little was...
576
00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:27,323
that I just- I knew
you were special.
577
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:31,121
And I can't tell you how excited I
am to become your Mayan star wife.
578
00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:33,809
You may kiss
your bride.
579
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:45,441
It's December 18-
580
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:48,000
three days till the end.
581
00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:50,890
Let's make this time count.
582
00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:55,841
[ Birds Chirping ]
583
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:01,687
Brittany.
Hmm?
584
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:03,444
It's December 22.
585
00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:07,446
We survived
the Mayan apocalypse.
586
00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:09,363
You know what
this means?
587
00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:12,689
The world didn't end.
We're also married.
588
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:19,371
[School Bell Rings]
589
00:31:19,480 --> 00:31:21,130
You know, I hate to
ask you something...
590
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:24,204
during your midday rflualofdevoufing
an entire animal carcass,
591
00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:25,691
so here goes nothing.
592
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:29,043
What's going on here? It's the
faculty and staff Secret Santa.
593
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:31,726
And you really couldn't
swallow first, could you?
594
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:33,131
[ Chuckles ]
595
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:35,924
Mmm.
596
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,446
Millie Rose. Who the
hell's Millie Rose?
597
00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:41,569
She's a sweetheart.
She works in the cafeteria.
598
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:45,167
She's a big lady, and I think her
daughter's in the Glee Club.
599
00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:50,089
[School Bell Rings]
600
00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:52,162
How about this one?
601
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:04,166
Becky, it's a beautiful
sweater from Benetton.
602
00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:07,961
Epic fail! I already got
one of these, Coach!
603
00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:10,327
Give me something
I don't already have!
604
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:13,284
Like what?
Like a hot date!
605
00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:15,283
Or a snowmobile!
606
00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:17,727
Oh, Becky, you're not the only
person I have to shop for.
607
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:20,565
I gotta get something for that
hideous wad ofalunchlady,
608
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:25,009
who somehow was able to squeeze
out a ravishing, golden-throated,
609
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:28,926
raven-haired beauty from those
monstrous, gaping loins.
610
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:33,449
[ Sighs ] What do you get the
woman who's eaten everything?
611
00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:34,487
[School Bell Rings]
612
00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:37,848
Just to be clear,
no presents this year.
613
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:41,083
That money is going to a therapist
who specializes in eating disorders.
614
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:43,845
We're not playing around here.
I know, Mom.
615
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:46,127
I know this is serious.
616
00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:48,646
I have a problem,
and I want to get better.
617
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:52,247
Besides, we don't really
need anything.
618
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:53,560
Not even a tree?
619
00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:55,688
Marley.
620
00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:57,967
A tree is $50,
621
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:01,368
and a session with
Dr. Goodsitt is $200.
622
00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:04,364
I don't need to tell you that
I don't make a lot of money.
623
00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:06,488
I will be damned
if I waste a penny of it...
624
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:08,403
before my daughter
is healthy enough...
625
00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:11,290
to realize what a
beautiful miracle she is.
626
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:17,289
Sorry.
[ Chuckles ]
627
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:19,727
[ Millie ]
If you want to give me a gift,
628
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:22,041
sing me something.
629
00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:25,445
Deal.
630
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:27,602
[ Chuckles ]
631
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:33,168
♪ The first Noel ♪
632
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:36,887
♪ The angel did say;
633
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:41,921
♪ Was to certain
poor shepherds ♪
634
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:45,761
♪ In fields as they lay;
635
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:50,840
♪ Noel, Noel ♪
636
00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:04,008
♪ Born is the king ♪
637
00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:09,962
♪ Of Israel ♪♪
638
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:12,324
That, right there,
639
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:15,688
is the best Christmas gift
I have ever gotten.
640
00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:21,727
[School Bell Rings]
641
00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:29,047
Well, Becky, I feel
absolutely horrible.
642
00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:31,851
I've become selfish
and spoiled,
643
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:34,082
incredibly
out of touch.
644
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:35,810
Look at this tree.
645
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:38,201
Yes, it has a stark beauty
all its own,
646
00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:39,930
but did I really
need to cut down...
647
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,606
a 7,000-year-old
bristlecone pine...
648
00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:44,330
just to hang ornaments
on it?
649
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:46,323
It just seems frivolous.
650
00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:50,007
Becky, I just made a call to a
guy in the antiquities business.
651
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:53,562
He's got contacts
in the luxury toothpick market.
652
00:34:53,640 --> 00:34:56,769
You and I are gonna sell him this tree,
and we're going to give the proceeds...
653
00:34:56,840 --> 00:35:00,367
to a very important cause.
654
00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:03,124
[School Bell Rings]
655
00:35:03,240 --> 00:35:04,730
[ Millie] Marley?
[ Marley ] What?
656
00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:07,804
Marley! Marley,
get down here, sweetie.
657
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:13,406
Oh, my!
Oh, my God.
658
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:15,801
I know. Yeah, the back
door was jimmied open.
659
00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:17,928
I was gonna call the police,
and then I saw all this.
660
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:20,082
Mom.
Look at this sweater.
661
00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:22,481
It's- I think
it's from Benetton.
662
00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:25,245
Oh, sweet Lord.
663
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:27,800
I am gonna pass out.
Marley-
664
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:30,526
Oh, my God.
Marley, there's $800 here.
665
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:33,291
[ Chuckles ]
Oh, my God.
666
00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:36,728
Merry Christmas, Mom! Merry
Christmas, sweetheart.
667
00:35:44,240 --> 00:35:46,447
We should probably
still call the police.
668
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:51,171
I actually think I knew
it was really over...
669
00:35:51,240 --> 00:35:53,561
when he tried to pick up
on my sister...
670
00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:55,850
at her baby shower.
671
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:58,605
[ Both Laughing ]
672
00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:03,049
Aw, look at 'em. Laughing, trading
war stories about us kids.
673
00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:05,202
It's a true
Hanukkah miracle.
674
00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:08,409
You know, I'm really gonna miss
you when you go back to L.A.
675
00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:12,003
I was thinking about that.
676
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:14,651
I mean, I'm a screenwriter.
I can write anywhere.
677
00:36:14,720 --> 00:36:17,929
And I'm sure most of my pool-cleaning
clients in Lima would take me back, so-
678
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:19,923
So you're moving
back home?
679
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:21,968
I mean, L.A. is great, but...
680
00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:24,168
someone needs to look after
you and our moms.
681
00:36:24,240 --> 00:36:26,402
[ Sighs ]
682
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:28,323
So we're not
actually married.
683
00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:31,449
There aren't actually
any Mayan church Web sites.
684
00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:33,363
The Mayans were wiped out
500 years ago...
685
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:35,602
by the conquistadors
and smallpox.
686
00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:37,887
That's like chicken pox,
but smaller.
687
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:41,328
Look, when I heard the two of you were
getting engaged, I thought to myself,
688
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:44,927
these kids are two...
special kids.
689
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:48,004
The last thing we need
is another teen tragedy...
690
00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:51,766
of marrying too young, popping out
a couple kids before you're 20...
691
00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:54,889
and ending up with your faces
blurred out on an episode of Cops.
692
00:36:54,960 --> 00:36:56,644
I'm happy to have
more time with Sam.
693
00:36:56,720 --> 00:36:58,722
I just- I feel empty
since the world didn't end.
694
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:02,122
Yeah, like everything was just
so energized for those few days,
695
00:37:02,240 --> 00:37:05,005
and I felt so close
to everyone, and-
696
00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:08,846
It- It was really awesome.
I just miss that feeling.
697
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:11,048
[ Imitates Phone Buzzing ]
Oi. Look at my phone.
698
00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:14,124
Huh. I got a Google alert
about the Mayan calendar.
699
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:18,649
Itsays,uh, some archaeologist
named Indiana Jones...
700
00:37:18,720 --> 00:37:20,404
found a new Mayan
calendar today.
701
00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:22,289
That's remarkable.
702
00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:25,125
Dr. Jones said that the new
end of the world date...
703
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:28,761
is September 27, 2014.
704
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:33,289
That gives us like two whole years of giving
love and brutal honesty to everyone we know.
705
00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:35,681
[ TV: Male Sportscaster]
[ TV: Crowd Cheering]
706
00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:40,850
- So, who's winning?
- [Together] Celtics.
707
00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:51,402
...hits the floater
from about nine feet.
708
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:53,687
[ Continues, indistinct]
709
00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:56,605
Okay, I tried.
Ah!
710
00:37:56,720 --> 00:37:58,085
Oh!
Twenty seconds.
711
00:37:58,160 --> 00:37:59,924
Pay up, Anderson.
712
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,970
You may have dated him, but I raised him.
I know my son.
713
00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:06,362
Aw, you couldn't have just toughed it
out for just a few more seconds, Kurt?
714
00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:07,970
No.
Just a few more seconds.
715
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:11,522
So, graduating.
Plans for the future?
716
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:13,927
Uh- Well, I haven't talked
about this with Kurt,
717
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,480
and I wouldn't do anything
to make him uncomfortable,
718
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:19,928
but I was thinking about
applying to NYADA.
719
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:21,889
Would that be okay?
720
00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:24,844
I think that'd be great.
721
00:38:27,240 --> 00:38:28,571
Me too.
722
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:30,688
[School Bell Rings]
[ Knocking ]
723
00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:34,082
Can I talk to you
for a second, Coach?
724
00:38:35,240 --> 00:38:37,368
I wanted to say thank you...
725
00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:39,363
for what you did
for Marley and me.
726
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:40,805
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
727
00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:42,649
I had nothing to do with
the making of that film.
728
00:38:42,720 --> 00:38:44,961
I bribed Becky Jackson
with candy,
729
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:46,929
and she told me everything.
730
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:49,685
You're very generous,
but, um-
731
00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:51,330
[ Clears Throat]
732
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:54,244
I'm afraid I can't
accept this money.
733
00:38:55,720 --> 00:39:00,647
Well, you and I both know how
hard it is to be a single mother.
734
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:03,362
So take the money...
735
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:05,522
and make sure that daughter
of yours gets better.
736
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:07,602
Is that understood?
737
00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:10,364
Now, if you'll excuse me,
738
00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:13,728
please sideways-step yourself
the hell out of my office.
739
00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:17,124
Uh- Would you come with me?
740
00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:20,123
Marley wanted
to say thank you too.
741
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:22,885
Does this involve the Glee Club
singing a Christmas song...
742
00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:27,488
in the auditorium, with snow falling
on an elaborate winter scene?
743
00:39:29,040 --> 00:39:30,963
[School Bell Rings]
744
00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:34,408
Yep, okay. This is exactly
what I just described.
745
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:37,802
Coach Sylvester, I wanted to
thank you for what you did,
746
00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:41,123
so I called Artie, and he
helped pull all this together.
747
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:43,567
Well, it's a testament
to how little you know me...
748
00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:46,120
if you think this is
something I would enjoy.
749
00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:55,602
♪ Have yourself ♪
♪♪ [vocalizing ]
750
00:39:55,680 --> 00:40:00,607
♪ A merry little Christmas ♪
751
00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:07,643
♪ Let your heart be light ♪
752
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:10,923
♪ From now on ♪
753
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:18,805
♪ Our troubles
will be out of sight;
754
00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:28,725
♪ Have yourself
a merry little Christmas ♪
755
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:34,767
♪ Make the yuletide gay;
756
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:39,449
♪ From now on ♪
757
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:48,884
♪ Our troubles
will be miles away;
758
00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:56,850
♪ Here we are
as in olden days ♪
759
00:40:56,920 --> 00:41:00,288
♪ Happy golden days ♪
760
00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:03,364
.1' Of yore ♪
761
00:41:05,040 --> 00:41:10,968
♪ Faithful friends
who are dear to us ♪
762
00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:14,442
♪ Gather near to us ♪
763
00:41:14,560 --> 00:41:17,882
♪ Once more 3
3 Once more 3
764
00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:20,201
♪ Once more ♪
765
00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:21,930
♪ Through the years ♪
766
00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:26,090
♪ We all will be together;
767
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:31,483
♪ If the fates allow;
768
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:38,243
♪ Hang a shining star;
769
00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:46,091
♪ Upon the highest bough ♪
770
00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:49,767
♪ And have yourself ♪
771
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:59,488
♪ A merry little Christmas now;
772
00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:21,083
♪ Faithful friends
who are dear to us ♪
773
00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:25,006
♪ Gather near to us ♪
774
00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:28,766
♪ Once more ♪
775
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:32,441
♪ Through the years ♪
776
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:35,967
♪ We all will be together;
777
00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:43,488
♪ If the fates allow;
778
00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:47,531
♪ Hang a shining star;
779
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:56,441
♪ Upon the highest bough ♪
780
00:42:56,520 --> 00:43:01,003
♪ And have yourself ♪
781
00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:07,690
♪ A merry little Christmas ♪
782
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:16,885
♪ NOWJ ♪
783
00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:19,327
[ Together]
Merry Christmas!
784
00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:20,970
[ Laughing ]
785
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:26,288
♪♪ [ Vocalizing ]
786
00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:31,526
♪♪ [ Harmonic Vocalizingj
787
00:43:48,040 --> 00:43:50,042
♪ ./' [ Ends ]