1 00:00:00,778 --> 00:00:02,220 So here's what you missed on Glee. 2 00:00:02,253 --> 00:00:04,183 Sue framed Figgins so she could take his job 3 00:00:04,216 --> 00:00:05,910 so now she's principal and Becky's her Beckretary. 4 00:00:05,943 --> 00:00:07,906 - Get out, bitch! - Kurt started a cover band 5 00:00:07,939 --> 00:00:09,426 called Pamela Lansbury and Rachel's in it 6 00:00:09,459 --> 00:00:12,031 and so is Santana and so is Dani and so is Elliot, 7 00:00:12,064 --> 00:00:14,241 who they also call Star Child but his name's really Elliot. 8 00:00:14,274 --> 00:00:15,677 Oh, my God, Star Child. 9 00:00:15,710 --> 00:00:17,829 Jake used to be a man-slut but then he wasn't 10 00:00:17,862 --> 00:00:20,411 because he met Marley but then he cheated on Marley with Bree 11 00:00:20,452 --> 00:00:21,878 which was so super mean because Marley's so nice 12 00:00:21,905 --> 00:00:23,151 and Bree's so horrible and it's like, geez, 13 00:00:23,169 --> 00:00:25,046 I guess he's a man-slut again. That's so sad. 14 00:00:25,079 --> 00:00:27,637 My Aunt Felicia always says, "A tiger can't change his stripes." 15 00:00:27,670 --> 00:00:29,181 And that's what you missed on Glee. 16 00:00:35,834 --> 00:00:37,308 Hey, um, guys! 17 00:00:37,341 --> 00:00:38,802 Guys... New Directions! 18 00:00:38,835 --> 00:00:39,876 New Directions! 19 00:00:39,909 --> 00:00:41,725 Guys! Hey! 20 00:00:41,759 --> 00:00:43,405 I just ran into Mr. Shue, and he's gonna be stuck 21 00:00:43,438 --> 00:00:45,179 in his classroom for the rest of the afternoon 22 00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:47,094 because of some school board inspection thing, 23 00:00:47,127 --> 00:00:49,364 but he still wanted us to meet so we can start working on ideas for nationals. 24 00:00:49,405 --> 00:00:52,279 Beyoncé! 25 00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:59,282 This is anarchy! We can't... we can't all just shout at the same time. 26 00:01:01,564 --> 00:01:03,604 That's better. 27 00:01:03,637 --> 00:01:04,880 I have some ideas already. I'm thinking 28 00:01:04,913 --> 00:01:06,648 that the music needs to be really simple, 29 00:01:06,681 --> 00:01:07,882 so we can really highlight our voices. 30 00:01:07,917 --> 00:01:10,093 No guitars, or nothing electronic. 31 00:01:10,126 --> 00:01:11,497 We go with a simple piano arrangement. 32 00:01:11,538 --> 00:01:13,311 Which I could play. 33 00:01:13,344 --> 00:01:14,879 I'm assuming you're singing lead? 34 00:01:14,912 --> 00:01:17,884 Well, I am a senior, and this is my last go at it. 35 00:01:17,917 --> 00:01:19,425 We need to win this. 36 00:01:19,458 --> 00:01:20,660 Well, feels like North Korea up in here. 37 00:01:20,693 --> 00:01:22,400 Okay, forget the piano. 38 00:01:22,433 --> 00:01:23,536 Forget all the music. 39 00:01:23,569 --> 00:01:26,378 We could just do, um, a cappella, that always works. 40 00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:28,397 Déjà Warblers. Should we wear matching blazers, too? 41 00:01:28,430 --> 00:01:30,239 Let's take it back... What was wrong with the guitars? 42 00:01:30,272 --> 00:01:33,287 Nothing, why can't you guys just stop resisting me 43 00:01:33,320 --> 00:01:34,891 for a second, and just go with me? 44 00:01:34,924 --> 00:01:36,460 Okay, Blaine Jong-il. 45 00:01:36,493 --> 00:01:38,768 - Yes! Blaine Jong-il - I am not trying to be bossy. 46 00:01:38,801 --> 00:01:41,210 I am trying to give the benefit of my experience. 47 00:01:41,243 --> 00:01:44,328 I have won more show choir competitions than anyone in this room. 48 00:01:45,964 --> 00:01:46,933 You suck. 49 00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:50,956 A capella is worth a shot. 50 00:01:50,989 --> 00:01:52,697 Let's do it. 51 00:01:52,730 --> 00:01:55,810 Then you two can have fun in your little barbershop couplet 52 00:01:55,838 --> 00:01:57,747 while the rest of us discuss something good. 53 00:01:57,780 --> 00:02:00,687 Fine. You don't want my help... 54 00:02:03,691 --> 00:02:06,658 ...then I am not gonna give it. 55 00:02:06,691 --> 00:02:08,531 Looks like somebody's man-struating. 56 00:02:08,564 --> 00:02:10,565 I heard that. 57 00:02:11,494 --> 00:02:14,463 Sync & corrections by wilson0804 www.Addic7ed.com 58 00:02:14,583 --> 00:02:16,183 Oh, good. 59 00:02:16,216 --> 00:02:17,519 We're all here. 60 00:02:17,552 --> 00:02:21,361 Thank you, Team Pamela Lansbury, for assembling on such short notice. 61 00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:23,200 Okay, well, I rescheduled my dialect session, 62 00:02:23,233 --> 00:02:25,569 so what's up with this emergency text? 63 00:02:25,602 --> 00:02:29,444 What's up is I just booked our band's debut gig! 64 00:02:29,478 --> 00:02:30,741 Amazing. 65 00:02:30,782 --> 00:02:31,477 Where? When? 66 00:02:31,510 --> 00:02:36,666 This Thursday, 7:30 p.m., at the Greenwich Village hot-spot Callbacks. 67 00:02:36,699 --> 00:02:40,402 Ooh, NYADA's premier piano bar. Hold on, isn't that a Broadway hangout? 68 00:02:40,435 --> 00:02:41,972 Well, traditionally, but I talked to the manager, 69 00:02:42,005 --> 00:02:44,006 and he says that Thursdays are kind of their dead nights. 70 00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:45,478 So we can go in and do whatever we want. 71 00:02:45,511 --> 00:02:46,911 No way, we cannot debut there. 72 00:02:46,944 --> 00:02:48,882 That is instant career suicide. 73 00:02:48,915 --> 00:02:50,988 Yeah, Kurt, look, not to overstep, 74 00:02:51,021 --> 00:02:53,060 but I-I follow a lot of bands just starting out, 75 00:02:53,093 --> 00:02:55,328 and it's kind of all about the launch. 76 00:02:55,361 --> 00:02:57,033 You know, getting music critics out to see you, 77 00:02:57,066 --> 00:02:59,508 and that's a lot easier with the right venue. 78 00:02:59,541 --> 00:03:02,110 Oh, come on, Callbacks is a real funky place. 79 00:03:02,143 --> 00:03:04,479 You know, they've got tons of history. Yeah, but I can't think 80 00:03:04,512 --> 00:03:06,352 of a single band that started out there. 81 00:03:06,385 --> 00:03:09,389 I mean, it's not like The Bitter End or the Mercury Lounge, or... 82 00:03:09,422 --> 00:03:10,757 Yeah, and if people associate that place 83 00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:13,662 with show tunes, nobody's gonna come out for... 84 00:03:13,695 --> 00:03:15,632 Our covers of Madonna's greatest hits? 85 00:03:15,665 --> 00:03:17,031 I disagree, Dani. 86 00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:19,671 Oh, so we're back to the whole Madonna thing? 87 00:03:19,704 --> 00:03:21,104 Yes, it was my first impulse. 88 00:03:21,138 --> 00:03:24,344 Okay, look, guys, I know it's untraditional, but you have to trust me. 89 00:03:24,377 --> 00:03:25,880 I was there at Callbacks. 90 00:03:25,913 --> 00:03:29,284 I saw it all, a vision of perfect clarity. 91 00:03:29,317 --> 00:03:31,389 Every seat was occupied. 92 00:03:31,422 --> 00:03:33,620 A quiet hush fell over the expectant crowd. 93 00:03:33,653 --> 00:03:36,356 As Pamela Lansbury made their way to the stage, 94 00:03:36,389 --> 00:03:41,935 and the opening notes of Madonna's 1985 single hit "Into the Groove" begin. 95 00:03:44,401 --> 00:03:46,775 ♪ And you can dance ♪ 96 00:03:48,378 --> 00:03:52,979 ♪ For inspiration ♪ Get into the groove, boy ♪ 97 00:03:53,020 --> 00:03:57,220 ♪ You've got to prove your love to me ♪ 98 00:03:57,253 --> 00:04:02,555 ♪ Yeah ♪ Get up on your feet, yeah, step to the beat ♪ 99 00:04:02,596 --> 00:04:10,233 ♪ Boy, what will it be ♪ Music can be such a revelation ♪ 100 00:04:10,266 --> 00:04:14,264 ♪ Dancing around you feel the sweet sensation ♪ 101 00:04:14,305 --> 00:04:18,273 ♪ We might be lovers if the rhythm's right ♪ 102 00:04:18,306 --> 00:04:22,713 ♪ I hope this feeling never ends tonight ♪ 103 00:04:22,746 --> 00:04:26,451 ♪ Only when I'm dancing can I feel this free ♪ 104 00:04:26,484 --> 00:04:30,353 ♪ At night I lock the doors where no one else can see ♪ 105 00:04:30,386 --> 00:04:34,523 ♪ I'm tired of dancing here all by myself ♪ 106 00:04:34,556 --> 00:04:39,253 ♪ Tonight I want to dance with someone else ♪ 107 00:04:39,294 --> 00:04:46,159 ♪ Get into the groove, boy ♪ You've got to prove your love to me ♪ 108 00:04:46,192 --> 00:04:51,230 ♪ Yeah, get up on your feet ♪ ♪ Yeah, step to the beat ♪ 109 00:04:51,263 --> 00:04:59,263 ♪ Boy, what can it be, yeah ♪ Live out your fantasy here with me ♪ 110 00:04:59,808 --> 00:05:03,466 ♪ Just let the music set you free ♪ 111 00:05:03,507 --> 00:05:11,469 ♪ Touch my body, move in time ♪ ♪ Now I know you're mine ♪ 112 00:05:11,510 --> 00:05:15,742 ♪ Now I know you're mine ♪ 113 00:05:15,783 --> 00:05:22,817 ♪ Now I know you're mine ♪ Now I know you're mine ♪ 114 00:05:22,850 --> 00:05:30,280 ♪ Now I know you're mine ♪ You've got to get into the groove, boy ♪ 115 00:05:30,313 --> 00:05:34,581 ♪ You've got to prove your love to me ♪ 116 00:05:34,614 --> 00:05:42,614 ♪ Yeah, get up on your feet ♪ Yeah, step to the beat ♪ Boy, what will it be ♪ 117 00:05:43,117 --> 00:05:46,179 ♪ You have to get into the groove ♪ 118 00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:50,811 ♪ Boy, you got to prove your love to me ♪ 119 00:05:50,844 --> 00:05:58,844 ♪ Get up on your feet ♪ Yeah, step to the beat ♪ Boy, what will it be ♪ 120 00:05:59,413 --> 00:06:02,579 ♪ You've got to get into the groove. ♪ 121 00:06:07,622 --> 00:06:09,492 Oh, it's my fiancé. 122 00:06:09,525 --> 00:06:10,260 Talk amongst yourselves. 123 00:06:10,293 --> 00:06:11,659 Hello? 124 00:06:11,692 --> 00:06:14,091 Oh, can I just say Glee Club sucks! 125 00:06:14,132 --> 00:06:15,427 Mr. Shue asked for ideas for nationals. 126 00:06:15,460 --> 00:06:20,296 And when I gave some genius ones, everyone got all mad and started dissing me. 127 00:06:20,329 --> 00:06:21,737 Maybe I came on too strong. 128 00:06:21,770 --> 00:06:23,370 But since when is that a bad thing? 129 00:06:23,403 --> 00:06:26,167 It's not, but you got to remember, at McKinley everyone has an equal vote. 130 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,806 And if you come on too aggressively, they might think you're a control-freak 131 00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:30,838 or a puppet master. 132 00:06:32,438 --> 00:06:35,139 Anyway... I was gonna call you. 133 00:06:35,172 --> 00:06:36,938 Pamela Lansbury booked its first gig. 134 00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:38,713 And I know you were just here, 135 00:06:38,746 --> 00:06:41,175 but I was hoping you could come cheer us on in the audience. 136 00:06:41,208 --> 00:06:42,943 So, what do you say... can I send you the deets? 137 00:06:42,976 --> 00:06:44,384 And a JetBlue voucher? 138 00:06:44,417 --> 00:06:45,953 Uh, of course, I wouldn't miss it. 139 00:06:45,986 --> 00:06:48,645 Wow, I can't believe anyone would see me as controlling. 140 00:06:48,686 --> 00:06:49,653 You missed a spot. 141 00:06:49,686 --> 00:06:52,589 I'm doing the best I can, Sue. 142 00:06:52,622 --> 00:06:55,018 You know, the way you clean these floors 143 00:06:55,051 --> 00:06:57,553 is a perfect metaphor for the way you ran this school. 144 00:06:57,586 --> 00:07:00,225 You did your best, but your best just wasn't good enough. 145 00:07:00,258 --> 00:07:01,825 Look, I know you're upset 146 00:07:01,858 --> 00:07:04,056 that the school board is coming today to evaluate McKinley, 147 00:07:04,097 --> 00:07:07,628 and to determine if I'm worthy to be instated as full-time principal. 148 00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:10,294 And do you realize in my short time as acting principal, 149 00:07:10,334 --> 00:07:12,430 test scores have risen 42%. 150 00:07:12,470 --> 00:07:17,805 And my new caning policy has dropped both absences and tardiness down to zero. 151 00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:23,141 So, the truth is you should be cleaning floors and I should be running schools. 152 00:07:23,174 --> 00:07:25,613 And if you would like to continue cleaning floors 153 00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:28,282 and feeding your family, I suggest you do 154 00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:31,683 everything you can to make sure this place looks just amazing 155 00:07:31,716 --> 00:07:33,388 for this evaluation. 156 00:07:33,421 --> 00:07:35,156 They're in your office, Coach. 157 00:07:41,230 --> 00:07:42,968 One last question before we come back 158 00:07:43,001 --> 00:07:44,971 for the official evaluation later in the week. 159 00:07:45,004 --> 00:07:46,842 Why do you want to be a principal? 160 00:07:46,875 --> 00:07:50,041 Now, I know everyone wants to wear the crown, but the fantasy of it 161 00:07:50,074 --> 00:07:51,871 can be quite different from the reality. 162 00:07:51,904 --> 00:07:56,577 Well, more than anyone I have ever met, I was born to be in charge. 163 00:07:56,618 --> 00:07:57,583 Test scores are up. 164 00:07:57,617 --> 00:07:58,847 Kids are showing up. 165 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:00,216 Our sports teams are winning. 166 00:08:00,249 --> 00:08:01,817 Heck, even the Glee Club is back competing 167 00:08:01,850 --> 00:08:04,256 for the national title of clubs no one really cares about. 168 00:08:04,289 --> 00:08:08,156 And all of this is happening because I can finally manifest my vision 169 00:08:08,189 --> 00:08:10,859 without having to clear it with some fool. 170 00:08:10,893 --> 00:08:13,323 You give me this school, and in one year 171 00:08:13,356 --> 00:08:15,223 it will be the top school in the state. 172 00:08:15,256 --> 00:08:16,256 I guarantee it. 173 00:08:16,289 --> 00:08:18,161 I'm a champion, gentlemen. 174 00:08:18,194 --> 00:08:20,562 Let me be your champion. 175 00:08:23,098 --> 00:08:25,032 We'll be back in a week. 176 00:08:25,065 --> 00:08:28,869 But between you and me, barring a total catastrophe, you have my vote. 177 00:08:31,269 --> 00:08:35,139 You certainly have a lot of trophies, Principal Sylvester. 178 00:08:35,172 --> 00:08:39,012 Well, Superintendent Harris, you're new in town, you may not be aware, 179 00:08:39,045 --> 00:08:41,519 but I am the only seven-time national champion cheerleading coach 180 00:08:41,552 --> 00:08:42,520 in the country. 181 00:08:42,553 --> 00:08:44,952 Hmm, my wife used to watch those competitions on television. 182 00:08:44,985 --> 00:08:47,590 Mm-hmm. Bugged the crap out of me if I'm gonna be totally honest. 183 00:08:47,623 --> 00:08:48,989 Mmm. 184 00:08:49,022 --> 00:08:50,759 - We're divorced. - Oh. 185 00:08:50,792 --> 00:08:51,696 Are you married? 186 00:08:51,729 --> 00:08:52,760 No, no. 187 00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:54,913 I married myself once, but I don't think it was legal. 188 00:08:55,726 --> 00:08:56,931 Yeah. 189 00:08:56,964 --> 00:08:58,592 We should go out for a beer sometime. 190 00:08:58,625 --> 00:09:02,865 Oh, are you sure that's appropriate, Bob? 191 00:09:02,898 --> 00:09:05,200 I don't think anyone would see a couple of guys going out 192 00:09:05,233 --> 00:09:06,536 for a beer as anything shady. 193 00:09:06,569 --> 00:09:08,071 Besides I'm new in town. 194 00:09:08,103 --> 00:09:09,767 I'd like to find some great dudes to hang out with. 195 00:09:09,807 --> 00:09:11,903 I-I'll call your office, okay? 196 00:09:16,739 --> 00:09:21,717 I'm lactose intolerant, and I may have to fart, Coach. 197 00:09:21,750 --> 00:09:24,081 I don't look masculine, do I, Becky? 198 00:09:24,114 --> 00:09:27,417 You have an allure that goes beyond gender. 199 00:09:27,450 --> 00:09:28,450 That's what I always say. 200 00:09:28,451 --> 00:09:32,890 I have to admit, while I find his hairline highly suspicious for a man his age, 201 00:09:32,923 --> 00:09:37,327 that Bob Harris thinks I could star in the sequel to Boys Don't Cry, 202 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:39,694 honestly, it kind of bums me out. 203 00:09:39,727 --> 00:09:40,822 Maybe it's your clothes. 204 00:09:40,863 --> 00:09:43,359 You could try on a skirt every now and then. 205 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,463 No, you don't understand the era I grew up in. 206 00:09:45,496 --> 00:09:47,303 I became a teacher almost 30 years ago. 207 00:09:47,336 --> 00:09:49,798 It was 1986. 208 00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:51,103 It was a different time. 209 00:09:51,136 --> 00:09:53,904 I tried being girly. 210 00:09:53,945 --> 00:09:56,640 But I found it hard to get the respect I felt I deserved. 211 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:59,277 Boys, no video games in school. 212 00:09:59,310 --> 00:10:00,949 Who are you supposed to be? 213 00:10:00,982 --> 00:10:02,518 I'm the new cheerleading coach. 214 00:10:02,551 --> 00:10:03,487 Do you bop? 215 00:10:05,318 --> 00:10:08,515 Get to class, mates. 216 00:10:08,548 --> 00:10:10,681 I've been trying to sound like Crocodile Dundee. 217 00:10:10,721 --> 00:10:14,516 Word of advice new Cheerios! Coach, Sue Sylvester. 218 00:10:14,549 --> 00:10:16,883 Try some pants. 219 00:10:54,267 --> 00:10:55,963 Get to class! 220 00:10:58,530 --> 00:11:00,337 That new cheerleading coach is one scary dude. 221 00:11:07,506 --> 00:11:11,685 The moment I put that track suit on, the world bowed before me. 222 00:11:11,718 --> 00:11:14,421 I had one made in every color. 223 00:11:14,454 --> 00:11:15,884 Maybe it's time for a change, Coach. 224 00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:17,892 Everybody is scared of you now. 225 00:11:17,925 --> 00:11:20,061 It can't hurt to girl it up a bit. 226 00:11:27,161 --> 00:11:28,665 You're early. 227 00:11:28,698 --> 00:11:31,893 Geez! Oh, Brad! You scared the crap out of me! 228 00:11:31,934 --> 00:11:33,563 Warn me before you talk! 229 00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:36,665 I'm sorry, man. I'm having a bad week. 230 00:11:36,698 --> 00:11:40,230 Tell me about it. I can't stop playing online blackjack. 231 00:11:40,263 --> 00:11:42,595 I owe thousands of dollars to some very sketchy people. 232 00:11:42,628 --> 00:11:44,096 Why doesn't anyone listen to me? 233 00:11:44,129 --> 00:11:45,863 I'm in 23 clubs! 234 00:11:45,896 --> 00:11:48,598 I probably would've been prom king if this school didn't have so many stoners. 235 00:11:48,631 --> 00:11:51,871 And what's wrong with having a solid game plan? 236 00:11:51,904 --> 00:11:53,333 My house is getting foreclosed on. 237 00:11:53,366 --> 00:11:57,070 And get this, my fiancé called me a "Puppet Master!" 238 00:11:57,110 --> 00:11:59,038 Well, if "pulling strings" 239 00:11:59,078 --> 00:12:01,709 means that I encourage people to reach their fullest potential, 240 00:12:01,742 --> 00:12:04,718 then, hell yeah, guilty as charged! 241 00:12:04,751 --> 00:12:09,947 Brad, if everyone just wants me to sit down and shut up... 242 00:12:09,988 --> 00:12:12,784 that's exactly what I'm gonna do. 243 00:12:12,817 --> 00:12:16,985 I'm gonna be right back here in the back corner. 244 00:12:17,025 --> 00:12:21,956 Believe me, that'll send a message... 245 00:12:23,461 --> 00:12:26,599 Blainey Days! 246 00:12:26,632 --> 00:12:27,926 Blainey Days, wake up! 247 00:12:27,967 --> 00:12:30,363 We're sorry we didn't listen to you earlier. 248 00:12:30,396 --> 00:12:31,829 Yeah, dawg. Our bad, yo! 249 00:12:31,870 --> 00:12:34,871 I'd love to say something really bitchy or even downright cruel, but I can't, 250 00:12:34,904 --> 00:12:37,837 because you're clearly the most talented teenager at this school! 251 00:12:37,870 --> 00:12:40,404 On this planet! Yeah, that's why we're best friends, even though 252 00:12:40,445 --> 00:12:43,140 I'm straight and you're gay and I'm blond and you're gay. 253 00:12:43,180 --> 00:12:44,507 May the Force be with you. 254 00:12:44,548 --> 00:12:45,978 Kids, I've got an awesome idea! 255 00:12:46,011 --> 00:12:50,388 This week's lesson is all about the most inspiring guy we know: Blaine! 256 00:12:52,286 --> 00:12:54,253 Ooh, child, Unique's got the blues! 257 00:12:54,294 --> 00:12:56,022 And the only way to cure 'em 258 00:12:56,063 --> 00:12:57,590 is to hear Blaine's smooth-as-a-baby's-butt voice! 259 00:12:57,631 --> 00:12:59,125 Please, Blaine! 260 00:12:59,158 --> 00:13:01,534 Please? Please? 261 00:13:01,568 --> 00:13:02,568 Yeah, Blaine! 262 00:13:02,601 --> 00:13:03,305 Really? 263 00:13:05,001 --> 00:13:07,609 Well, if you guys insist. What should I sing? 264 00:13:07,642 --> 00:13:08,943 Oh, I know. Hit it! 265 00:13:16,811 --> 00:13:23,744 ♪ Ooh, you make me live ♪ Whatever this world can give to me ♪ 266 00:13:23,785 --> 00:13:31,717 ♪ It's you, you're all I see ♪ Ooh, you make me live now, honey ♪ 267 00:13:31,750 --> 00:13:34,123 ♪ Ooh, you make me live ♪ 268 00:13:35,757 --> 00:13:40,626 ♪ Oh, you're the best friend that I ever had ♪ 269 00:13:40,659 --> 00:13:44,132 ♪ I've been with you such a long time ♪ 270 00:13:44,165 --> 00:13:48,334 ♪ You're my sunshine, and I want you to know ♪ 271 00:13:48,375 --> 00:13:53,204 ♪ That my feelings are true ♪ I really love you 272 00:13:54,510 --> 00:13:57,615 ♪ Oh, you're my best friend. ♪ 273 00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:02,318 ♪ Ooh, you make me live! ♪ 274 00:14:02,351 --> 00:14:08,161 ♪ Ooh, I've been wandering around back to you ♪ 275 00:14:08,194 --> 00:14:09,362 ♪ He'll come back to you ♪ 276 00:14:09,395 --> 00:14:12,565 ♪ Rain or shine, you stood by me, girl ♪ 277 00:14:12,606 --> 00:14:19,044 ♪ And I'm happy at home ♪ ♪ You're my best friend ♪ 278 00:14:20,247 --> 00:14:27,148 ♪ Ooh, you make me live ♪ Whenever this world is cruel to me ♪ 279 00:14:27,181 --> 00:14:31,792 ♪ I've got you to help me forgive ♪ ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ 280 00:14:31,825 --> 00:14:35,292 ♪ Ooh, you make me live now, honey ♪ 281 00:14:36,892 --> 00:14:42,670 ♪ And I'm happy ♪ ♪ You're my best friend ♪ 282 00:14:45,102 --> 00:14:46,836 ♪ Oh ♪ 283 00:14:48,775 --> 00:14:51,540 ♪ Oh, you're my best friend ♪ 284 00:14:52,772 --> 00:14:56,876 ♪ Ooh, you make me live, ooh-ooh ♪ 285 00:14:56,917 --> 00:15:03,384 ♪ Ooh, you're my best friend ♪ Oh-oh ♪ Oh-oh! ♪ 286 00:15:03,417 --> 00:15:08,885 ♪ Oh-oh! You make me live! ♪ 287 00:15:08,918 --> 00:15:11,153 Blainey Days, Blainey Days, what's wrong with you? 288 00:15:11,186 --> 00:15:12,921 Yeah, dude, you didn't say a word the entire class. 289 00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:13,921 Didn't even sing. 290 00:15:13,954 --> 00:15:15,257 You want us to call you a waaambulance? 291 00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:17,488 'Cause your pity party is out of control. 292 00:15:17,521 --> 00:15:20,761 Yeah, girl, check yourself before you wreck yourself! 293 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:32,324 And again. Five, six, seven, eight. Go one, two... four. 294 00:15:32,357 --> 00:15:33,356 Six, eight. 295 00:15:33,397 --> 00:15:35,228 Sharper. Two, three, here it comes. 296 00:15:35,261 --> 00:15:37,196 Make sure we land. 297 00:15:37,229 --> 00:15:40,190 Oh, God, okay, I've seen enough. Everyone stop. 298 00:15:40,216 --> 00:15:42,583 Look, I'm gonna do you guys a favor. You suck, 299 00:15:42,624 --> 00:15:44,319 and I can't be bothered to keep wasting my time. 300 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:46,688 Hit the showers and get focused. 301 00:15:46,729 --> 00:15:49,225 Please, tomorrow, we are doing 540s. 302 00:15:56,765 --> 00:15:57,867 Oh, my God, her, too? 303 00:15:57,900 --> 00:16:00,330 All of them, actually. 304 00:16:03,267 --> 00:16:06,304 Jake, hey, uh, listen, I just wanted to say thanks 305 00:16:06,335 --> 00:16:08,239 for sticking up for me in Glee Club. 306 00:16:08,272 --> 00:16:10,144 Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one 307 00:16:10,177 --> 00:16:12,809 that cares about pushing us so we can nail it, you know? 308 00:16:12,842 --> 00:16:16,080 Yeah, I know, I mean, I'm getting pretty sick of it, too. 309 00:16:16,113 --> 00:16:18,383 Um, I don't know how else to say this, but... 310 00:16:18,416 --> 00:16:20,257 there's something's going on in the choir room. 311 00:16:20,286 --> 00:16:24,713 I don't know if it's haunted or like a space-time rift happening, 312 00:16:24,746 --> 00:16:29,759 but trust me, do yourself a favor, sit in the back corner. 313 00:16:32,499 --> 00:16:33,970 It's crazy. 314 00:16:35,740 --> 00:16:39,045 Dance has never been our strong suit, but I think with Jake's help, 315 00:16:39,078 --> 00:16:40,909 we can really kick it up a notch. Jake? 316 00:16:40,942 --> 00:16:42,109 What's the point? 317 00:16:42,149 --> 00:16:43,316 I'm sorry? 318 00:16:43,349 --> 00:16:45,780 Seriously, what is the point? 319 00:16:45,813 --> 00:16:48,317 I could choreograph a sick dance, none of you can keep up. 320 00:16:48,351 --> 00:16:51,422 I mean, half of you can't even do it and won't even try. Why? 321 00:16:51,455 --> 00:16:52,485 Because you're not dancers. 322 00:16:52,526 --> 00:16:54,590 So let's not waste my time. 323 00:16:54,623 --> 00:16:57,861 Let's just do another cut-and-paste dance routine that even Tina can pick up. 324 00:16:57,895 --> 00:16:59,597 You are such a conceited jerk. 325 00:16:59,630 --> 00:17:02,133 I'm not conceited, I'm bored. 326 00:17:02,166 --> 00:17:04,868 Please, we've seen your dance moves. 327 00:17:04,901 --> 00:17:06,037 They're fine, not epic. 328 00:17:06,070 --> 00:17:07,635 Oh, you want to see epic? 329 00:17:07,668 --> 00:17:08,666 Give me a beat! 330 00:17:20,983 --> 00:17:25,624 ♪ Sittin' in the movie show thinking nasty thoughts ♪ 331 00:17:25,657 --> 00:17:27,161 ♪ Uh! Uh! ♪ 332 00:17:31,667 --> 00:17:36,169 ♪ Better be a gentleman or you'll turn me off, uh, huh ♪ 333 00:17:37,935 --> 00:17:39,406 ♪ That's right, and let me tell it ♪ 334 00:17:39,439 --> 00:17:43,603 ♪ Nasty, nasty boys don't mean a thing, uh, huh ♪ 335 00:17:45,938 --> 00:17:53,050 ♪ Oh, you nasty boys ♪ Nasty, nasty boys, don't ever change, huh ♪ 336 00:17:54,748 --> 00:17:59,522 ♪ Oh, you nasty boys ♪ I don't like no nasty girl ♪ 337 00:17:59,555 --> 00:18:01,918 ♪ I don't like nasty food, uh, huh ♪ 338 00:18:01,951 --> 00:18:04,758 ♪ Ooh, yeah ♪ 339 00:18:06,529 --> 00:18:10,360 ♪ The only nasty thing I like is a nasty groove, uh! ♪ 340 00:18:10,401 --> 00:18:13,367 ♪ Will this one do? ♪ 341 00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:18,244 ♪ Uh-huh, I know, sing ♪ I'm not a prude, I just want some respect ♪ 342 00:18:18,277 --> 00:18:23,181 ♪ That's right ♪ So close the door if you want me to respond, ooh, yeah ♪ 343 00:18:23,214 --> 00:18:25,455 ♪ 'Cause privacy is my middle name ♪ 344 00:18:25,488 --> 00:18:29,758 ♪ My last name is control ♪ No, my first name ain't "baby" ♪ 345 00:18:29,791 --> 00:18:32,558 ♪ It's Janet... Ms. Jackson if you're nasty ♪ 346 00:18:40,222 --> 00:18:45,454 ♪ People of the world today ♪ Are we looking for a better way of life? ♪ 347 00:18:45,487 --> 00:18:49,291 ♪ Say! We are a part of the rhythm nation ♪ 348 00:18:49,324 --> 00:18:50,857 ♪ Rhythm! ♪ ♪ People of the world unite ♪ 349 00:18:50,890 --> 00:18:53,456 ♪ Strength in numbers, we can get it right, one time ♪ 350 00:18:53,489 --> 00:18:57,762 ♪ Sing on ♪ We are a part of the rhythm nation ♪ 351 00:18:57,795 --> 00:18:58,633 ♪ Everybody! ♪ 352 00:18:58,666 --> 00:19:03,060 ♪ Nasty, nasty boys ♪ ♪ Don't mean a thing ♪ 353 00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:05,835 ♪ We are a part of the rhythm nation ♪ 354 00:19:05,868 --> 00:19:11,302 ♪ Everybody sing it ♪ Nasty, nasty boys don't ever change ♪ 355 00:19:11,333 --> 00:19:15,895 ♪ We are a part of the rhythm nation ♪ 356 00:19:15,928 --> 00:19:23,928 ♪ Rhythm... ♪ We are a part of the rhythm nation ♪ 357 00:19:24,164 --> 00:19:26,026 ♪ Sing it ♪ 358 00:19:27,390 --> 00:19:30,124 ♪ It goes to hear the rhythm ♪ 359 00:19:30,157 --> 00:19:33,458 ♪ We are a part of the rhythm nation ♪ ♪ Oh, you nasty boys. ♪ 360 00:19:33,491 --> 00:19:35,425 Baby-faced mocha-teen boy, arise! 361 00:19:37,162 --> 00:19:39,126 Where is everyone? 362 00:19:39,159 --> 00:19:41,362 They left minutes ago, muttering hateful comments 363 00:19:41,395 --> 00:19:45,662 about your snide, nasty mouth and bad boy attitudes. 364 00:19:45,695 --> 00:19:46,726 Now clear out! 365 00:19:52,636 --> 00:19:53,836 Excuse me, Miss Alfano. 366 00:19:53,869 --> 00:19:56,971 As much as I've really enjoyed learning about yarn these past three months, 367 00:19:57,004 --> 00:19:59,970 I was wondering, since Arts and Crafts is my senior elective, 368 00:20:00,003 --> 00:20:03,272 if maybe I could do my own thing and venture into felt 369 00:20:03,306 --> 00:20:06,242 and fabric and even yarn and make a puppet? 370 00:20:06,275 --> 00:20:08,312 Your request surely begs the question, 371 00:20:08,345 --> 00:20:13,349 "Why on earth would an 18-year-old man want to make a puppet?" 372 00:20:13,382 --> 00:20:16,810 Well... it's not just any puppet... It's a puppet of my fiancé. 373 00:20:16,850 --> 00:20:19,585 We're 600 miles apart, and even though I get to see him tomorrow night, 374 00:20:19,618 --> 00:20:20,914 I'd really like to see him right now, 375 00:20:20,954 --> 00:20:23,152 even though it might be only in my imagination. 376 00:20:23,185 --> 00:20:25,852 Fine. Make a puppet. 377 00:20:28,251 --> 00:20:30,051 May I experiment with découpage? 378 00:20:30,084 --> 00:20:30,820 No. 379 00:20:34,328 --> 00:20:36,230 I forgave myself a long time ago. 380 00:20:36,263 --> 00:20:38,701 I think it's time I forgive you now. 381 00:20:38,734 --> 00:20:41,599 You are right. Please forgive me. 382 00:20:41,639 --> 00:20:44,606 In this argument, I don't have a leg to stand on. 383 00:20:56,151 --> 00:20:58,622 Hey, Principal... uh, Coach. 384 00:20:58,655 --> 00:21:02,453 Um, geez, are you okay? Oh, what's with the shoes? 385 00:21:02,486 --> 00:21:04,123 Man, you have big feet. 386 00:21:04,156 --> 00:21:07,794 Well, I'm sorry if my femininity threatens you. What is that? 387 00:21:07,827 --> 00:21:10,291 Did you just touch me with a puppet? 388 00:21:10,332 --> 00:21:12,026 Oh, I made it in Crafts class. 389 00:21:12,059 --> 00:21:13,294 Get that thing out of here! 390 00:21:13,327 --> 00:21:14,829 I don't ever want to see that thing 391 00:21:14,862 --> 00:21:17,891 in my hallway again! What? You can't just ban puppets. 392 00:21:17,932 --> 00:21:19,659 Are you saying that because of the shoes? 393 00:21:19,699 --> 00:21:21,425 Are you less afraid of me? 394 00:21:21,466 --> 00:21:25,029 In a few days' time I am going to be evaluated 395 00:21:25,062 --> 00:21:26,764 on my abilities to run this school. 396 00:21:26,797 --> 00:21:29,237 If the school board comes here and sees schizophrenic students 397 00:21:29,268 --> 00:21:30,908 clearly off their meds talking to puppets, 398 00:21:30,931 --> 00:21:33,297 they are gonna think I don't have a handle on things. 399 00:21:33,330 --> 00:21:35,168 Well... Hey, hey! Kurt puppet! 400 00:21:35,201 --> 00:21:37,440 This is contraband. And if I catch you with your hand 401 00:21:37,473 --> 00:21:40,702 up the butt of anything that isn't human, you're in a world of trouble. 402 00:21:40,735 --> 00:21:42,806 But... Be careful. 403 00:21:42,839 --> 00:21:45,805 Damn it! 404 00:22:08,314 --> 00:22:09,817 Sue, I... look, I-I'm trying to work. 405 00:22:09,850 --> 00:22:12,051 Do you mind coming back in, like, an hour to barge in here 406 00:22:12,085 --> 00:22:14,495 - without knocking and start insulting me for no reason? - Oh, sure, sure, pal. 407 00:22:14,528 --> 00:22:16,063 I just, uh, I want to ask you a question first. 408 00:22:16,096 --> 00:22:18,433 Um... you're an oddly feminine man. 409 00:22:18,466 --> 00:22:19,666 What? 410 00:22:19,699 --> 00:22:21,605 Oh, please, you just literally did a pirouette. 411 00:22:21,638 --> 00:22:24,078 Sue, just because a guy can dance doesn't make him effeminate. 412 00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:26,544 That's what I'm saying. When you dance, somehow 413 00:22:26,577 --> 00:22:28,879 you're able to maintain your manliness. 414 00:22:28,912 --> 00:22:31,048 Here's the thing: 415 00:22:31,081 --> 00:22:35,954 Um... I happen to have a sizeable crush on the handsomest man in the universe, 416 00:22:35,995 --> 00:22:37,426 Superintendent Bob Harris. 417 00:22:37,459 --> 00:22:39,164 I've had multiple conversations with him. 418 00:22:39,197 --> 00:22:45,499 In fact, several days ago, I was quite certain he was flirting with me. 419 00:22:45,532 --> 00:22:49,134 But it turns out all this time he thought I was a man. 420 00:22:49,167 --> 00:22:52,037 I blame the Johnny Cash song, "A Boy Named Sue." 421 00:22:54,343 --> 00:22:56,110 You know what they used to say about Ginger Rogers? 422 00:22:56,143 --> 00:22:57,077 No. 423 00:22:57,111 --> 00:22:59,574 That she could lead her partner while dancing backwards in high heels. 424 00:22:59,615 --> 00:23:02,647 I have no idea how that is germane to this conversation. 425 00:23:02,681 --> 00:23:04,648 Ginger Rogers was the pinnacle of femininity. 426 00:23:04,689 --> 00:23:07,782 I mean, she was one of the most famous dancers in the world, 427 00:23:07,823 --> 00:23:11,624 and her partner was Fred Astaire, maybe the greatest dancer of all time. 428 00:23:11,657 --> 00:23:14,126 Again, I don't know how this pertains to what I'm talking about. 429 00:23:14,159 --> 00:23:17,526 The point is, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did... 430 00:23:17,567 --> 00:23:20,304 only she did it backwards and in high heels. 431 00:23:20,337 --> 00:23:23,673 I mean, she managed to find a way to be feminine and strong. 432 00:23:23,706 --> 00:23:26,606 Half the time when it looked like Fred Astaire was leading her? 433 00:23:26,639 --> 00:23:27,638 She was leading him. 434 00:23:27,671 --> 00:23:29,142 Okay. Tell you what. 435 00:23:29,175 --> 00:23:30,078 Let's make a deal. 436 00:23:30,111 --> 00:23:33,342 I'll teach you to lead while dancing backwards in high heels, 437 00:23:33,382 --> 00:23:37,444 and you give me the $600 I need for new costumes at nationals. 438 00:23:37,485 --> 00:23:39,882 Nope. Forget it. 439 00:23:39,915 --> 00:23:41,346 I'm sorry, there's no way in hell I'm going to give 440 00:23:41,387 --> 00:23:42,555 the Glee Club more money for costumes 441 00:23:42,588 --> 00:23:44,556 until you can explain to me how you paid for 442 00:23:44,589 --> 00:23:48,658 that 18-cubic-foot inflatable Lady Gaga airbag that you strapped onto the back 443 00:23:48,691 --> 00:23:49,826 of the crippled kid's wheelchair. 444 00:23:49,859 --> 00:23:52,129 That was at least $1,000 right there, William. 445 00:23:52,162 --> 00:23:54,099 Fine. 446 00:23:54,133 --> 00:23:55,132 Suit yourself. 447 00:24:04,846 --> 00:24:06,140 Hey, doll. 448 00:24:06,181 --> 00:24:07,706 What do you say you and I cut a rug? 449 00:24:09,577 --> 00:24:17,577 ♪ Heaven ♪ I'm in heaven ♪ And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak ♪ 450 00:24:21,688 --> 00:24:29,688 ♪ And I seem to find ♪ The happiness I seek ♪ When we're out together ♪ 451 00:24:30,057 --> 00:24:32,126 ♪ Dancing cheek to cheek ♪ 452 00:24:35,093 --> 00:24:43,093 ♪ Heaven ♪ I'm in heaven ♪ And the cares that hung around me through the week ♪ 453 00:24:46,465 --> 00:24:52,672 ♪ Seem to vanish ♪ Like a gambler's lucky streak ♪ 454 00:24:52,705 --> 00:24:57,610 ♪ When we're out together ♪ ♪ Dancing cheek to cheek ♪ 455 00:24:59,179 --> 00:25:02,744 ♪ Oh, I love to climb a mountain ♪ 456 00:25:02,785 --> 00:25:05,048 ♪ And to reach the highest peak ♪ 457 00:25:05,081 --> 00:25:09,052 ♪ But it doesn't thrill me half as much ♪ 458 00:25:09,085 --> 00:25:11,313 ♪ As dancing cheek to cheek ♪ 459 00:25:11,346 --> 00:25:14,983 ♪ Oh, I love to go out fishing ♪ ♪ Go out fishing ♪ 460 00:25:15,016 --> 00:25:18,488 ♪ In a river or a creek ♪ ♪ Or a creek ♪ 461 00:25:18,521 --> 00:25:21,022 ♪ But I don't enjoy it half as much ♪ 462 00:25:21,055 --> 00:25:25,897 ♪ As dancing cheek to cheek ♪ 463 00:25:58,185 --> 00:26:06,185 ♪ And I seem to find ♪ The happiness I seek ♪ When we're out together ♪ 464 00:26:08,028 --> 00:26:14,325 ♪ Dancing cheek to cheek. ♪ 465 00:26:16,764 --> 00:26:19,025 Come on, Coach! 466 00:26:19,058 --> 00:26:20,327 Wake up! 467 00:26:20,360 --> 00:26:22,259 I've got to shop for a mini-fridge for college! 468 00:26:29,399 --> 00:26:31,334 Oh, God, let it go. I don't want a girlfriend. 469 00:26:31,367 --> 00:26:33,005 Shut up. 470 00:26:33,038 --> 00:26:34,371 I don't want to be your girlfriend, either. 471 00:26:34,404 --> 00:26:36,141 Then what? 472 00:26:36,174 --> 00:26:37,204 I'm late for class. 473 00:26:41,077 --> 00:26:43,149 I'm pregnant. 474 00:26:43,182 --> 00:26:44,981 With your baby. 475 00:26:45,014 --> 00:26:48,484 Bree, this is... All I'm going to ask is that 476 00:26:48,517 --> 00:26:50,253 you come with me to the doctor, okay? 477 00:26:50,286 --> 00:26:51,451 Wh-What are your parents going to say? 478 00:26:51,492 --> 00:26:53,621 No... parents. 479 00:26:53,662 --> 00:26:55,628 This is staying between us. 480 00:26:56,996 --> 00:26:57,994 Forever. 481 00:26:58,027 --> 00:27:00,093 It's the right thing to do. 482 00:27:00,126 --> 00:27:01,956 Right? 483 00:27:23,002 --> 00:27:25,000 Well, well, well. 484 00:27:25,033 --> 00:27:27,441 If it isn't Miss Sally Field in Not Without My Puppet. 485 00:27:27,474 --> 00:27:30,503 Did you really think I was too stupid to suspect 486 00:27:30,544 --> 00:27:33,141 that you would come back here under the cloak of darkness 487 00:27:33,174 --> 00:27:38,349 to claim your monstrous puppet-bride, you strange, tiny, doe-eyed pervert? 488 00:27:38,382 --> 00:27:41,610 Kindly remove your fist from Puppet Hummel's butt 489 00:27:41,651 --> 00:27:43,914 and place him gingerly on the desk. 490 00:27:45,885 --> 00:27:48,926 And now report to detention for the rest of the week. 491 00:27:48,959 --> 00:27:51,629 But I was supposed to fly to New York to see Kurt's first big show. 492 00:27:51,662 --> 00:27:54,165 Well, then you're gonna have to cancel Wonder Woman's invisible jet, 493 00:27:54,198 --> 00:27:55,765 or whatever magic discount 494 00:27:55,798 --> 00:27:58,702 bullet train you kids use for your weekly jaunts to New York. 495 00:27:58,735 --> 00:28:00,005 Now, get out of here. 496 00:28:00,039 --> 00:28:03,773 Go feel shame. 497 00:28:12,154 --> 00:28:15,222 Hi. Hey. Did you get your ticket that I reserved for you, house-left? 498 00:28:15,263 --> 00:28:17,094 Kurt, I was gonna call you. 499 00:28:17,127 --> 00:28:21,431 Um, please don't be mad, but... I'm not in New York, I'm in Lima. 500 00:28:21,464 --> 00:28:23,672 A-Are you kidding? What happened? Did you miss your flight? 501 00:28:23,705 --> 00:28:25,905 - A-Are you okay? - I-I'm fine. 502 00:28:25,938 --> 00:28:28,842 - I'm just, um... - I'm just trying to explain. 503 00:28:28,875 --> 00:28:31,346 Yes, why don't you explain... and it better be a good explanation. 504 00:28:31,379 --> 00:28:33,250 Well, Principal Sylvester gave me detention, 505 00:28:33,283 --> 00:28:36,153 and she said if I tried to skip it that she was gonna suspend me 506 00:28:36,186 --> 00:28:37,920 and put it on my permanent record. Hang on. 507 00:28:37,953 --> 00:28:39,352 Whoa, whoa, wait one second. 508 00:28:39,385 --> 00:28:40,887 And you weren't going to call me? 509 00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:43,686 I-I was trying my best not to hurt you. 510 00:28:43,719 --> 00:28:45,558 All I did was steal back the Kurt puppet 511 00:28:45,591 --> 00:28:47,157 - that I made in crafts class. - Excuse me? 512 00:28:47,190 --> 00:28:49,091 The-the what puppet? What the hell are you talking about? 513 00:28:49,124 --> 00:28:52,727 Uh, I-I know, it's, uh, it's kind of... a weird story. 514 00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:54,223 But basically, I was missing you. 515 00:28:54,256 --> 00:28:55,990 And is that how you see me? 516 00:28:56,031 --> 00:28:58,926 As a thing of felt and cloth and button eyes that has no feelings, 517 00:28:58,967 --> 00:29:01,701 that you can play with and manipulate and then discard whenever you're bored? 518 00:29:01,734 --> 00:29:02,997 - Oh, no. - I'm a person, Blaine. 519 00:29:03,030 --> 00:29:05,672 I am flesh and blood and bone, and this is a really big night for me, 520 00:29:05,705 --> 00:29:06,840 and I needed you to be here. 521 00:29:06,873 --> 00:29:09,742 Kurt... 522 00:29:10,943 --> 00:29:13,175 Hey. 523 00:29:13,215 --> 00:29:15,047 We can release Blaine's seat. 524 00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:17,848 I don't think that's gonna be necessary. 525 00:29:25,458 --> 00:29:26,625 One person? 526 00:29:26,658 --> 00:29:29,697 And he thinks Angela Lansbury's performing. 527 00:29:29,730 --> 00:29:31,367 I told you so. 528 00:29:39,356 --> 00:29:41,713 Let's be real for a second. 529 00:29:41,746 --> 00:29:44,050 I've never been all that nice to you, and I don't 530 00:29:44,083 --> 00:29:46,887 really get whatever's... going on with you, 531 00:29:46,928 --> 00:29:51,127 but I have to say, there's a part of me that really admires it. 532 00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:56,713 When a woman of my stature needs a makeover, she rings up all her best gays, 533 00:29:56,746 --> 00:30:00,587 but unfortunately, Porcelain, the Sassy Toothless Elf, is in New York. 534 00:30:00,620 --> 00:30:05,215 So... God's most fabulous mistake, I turn to you. 535 00:30:06,656 --> 00:30:09,592 I want to look more like a lady. 536 00:30:09,625 --> 00:30:14,899 Girl, I have already pulled out my makeup kit... I got you, boo. 537 00:30:16,535 --> 00:30:20,405 Welcome, teen delinquents, to detention, AKA "The Beck-fast Club," 538 00:30:20,438 --> 00:30:22,206 named after Miss Becky Jackson, 539 00:30:22,239 --> 00:30:24,910 who has been here more than any other student. 540 00:30:24,943 --> 00:30:26,511 Yeah, why is that? 541 00:30:26,544 --> 00:30:28,881 'Cause I like saying bad words, bitch! 542 00:30:28,922 --> 00:30:33,465 Jacob X. Puckerman, you were caught red-handed starting another 543 00:30:33,498 --> 00:30:37,572 exciting yet forbidden fistfight in the William McKinley High School hallways. 544 00:30:37,605 --> 00:30:40,845 Why are you such a mysterious musical bad boy? 545 00:30:41,775 --> 00:30:42,982 It is now 4:01. 546 00:30:43,016 --> 00:30:45,783 You have exactly eight hours to ponder the horrific 547 00:30:45,816 --> 00:30:47,949 error of your pubescent ways. 548 00:30:47,982 --> 00:30:52,421 There will be no talking and no monkeyshines, is that clear? 549 00:30:52,454 --> 00:30:53,757 Crystal. 550 00:30:55,662 --> 00:30:57,958 You know, maybe we could use this time 551 00:30:57,991 --> 00:31:00,063 to get to know each other a little better. 552 00:31:00,096 --> 00:31:03,341 We could sit in a circle on the floor and tell each other 553 00:31:03,374 --> 00:31:04,741 about our core wounds. 554 00:31:04,774 --> 00:31:06,573 Or you shut your hole. 555 00:31:06,613 --> 00:31:12,147 I'm going to college soon, I don't have time for your lame-ass bull crap. 556 00:31:19,296 --> 00:31:20,759 I'm sorry, Blaine Warbler. 557 00:31:20,792 --> 00:31:22,925 But that was totally inappropriate. 558 00:31:22,958 --> 00:31:25,165 Please come sit with me. 559 00:31:25,198 --> 00:31:26,997 Sometimes I fly off the handle. 560 00:31:27,030 --> 00:31:30,533 Like yesterday, when I taped Dottie's buns together. 561 00:31:30,566 --> 00:31:32,206 I did it for my old man. 562 00:31:32,239 --> 00:31:34,175 I wanted him to think I was cool. 563 00:31:34,208 --> 00:31:36,309 That's really heavy, Becky. Thanks for sharing. 564 00:31:36,342 --> 00:31:38,141 What's going on with you, Blaine? 565 00:31:39,942 --> 00:31:43,315 Well, to tell the truth, guys, I feel really, really guilty about 566 00:31:43,348 --> 00:31:44,916 missing Kurt's show in New York. 567 00:31:44,949 --> 00:31:47,750 Why? It's a stupid cover band. 568 00:31:47,783 --> 00:31:51,487 And, dude, you go to New York all the time... you were just there last week. 569 00:31:51,528 --> 00:31:53,893 True. But Kurt needs me. 570 00:31:53,926 --> 00:31:57,197 - We all need you, because you are so awesome. - Yeah, 571 00:31:57,230 --> 00:31:58,997 you're America's gay sweetheart. 572 00:31:59,030 --> 00:32:00,334 Thanks, guys. 573 00:32:00,367 --> 00:32:02,703 You guys are, like, my only real friends. 574 00:32:02,736 --> 00:32:05,168 But we're not real; we're puppets. 575 00:32:05,208 --> 00:32:07,038 Maybe that's a bad thing. 576 00:32:07,071 --> 00:32:09,407 Maybe the fact that I can only really feel like myself 577 00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:12,481 with friends I can totally control is keeping me 578 00:32:12,514 --> 00:32:14,512 from really feeling like I'm close to anyone. 579 00:32:14,553 --> 00:32:18,354 Maybe it's indicative of a deeper intimacy issue. 580 00:32:18,387 --> 00:32:20,657 Or maybe everyone should just wise up 581 00:32:20,690 --> 00:32:24,483 and start doing everything you se, because you are so right on all the time. 582 00:32:24,524 --> 00:32:25,755 By the way, did you notice you're 583 00:32:25,789 --> 00:32:27,829 now having puppet fantasies outside the choir room? 584 00:32:27,862 --> 00:32:29,262 That's not normal. 585 00:32:29,295 --> 00:32:31,231 Seriously, you might want to get a CAT scan. 586 00:32:33,033 --> 00:32:34,372 Hello, hello. Wake up. Hey. 587 00:32:34,405 --> 00:32:36,245 Will you cover for me, please? I've got to leave early. 588 00:32:36,278 --> 00:32:38,380 Uh, y-yeah, sure. Why? 589 00:32:38,413 --> 00:32:40,581 It's not important. Later. 590 00:32:44,290 --> 00:32:45,720 Hey, so, are you ready to go? 591 00:32:45,753 --> 00:32:49,558 No need. The crimson tide is rolling again. 592 00:32:50,927 --> 00:32:52,293 I got my period. 593 00:32:52,326 --> 00:32:53,589 I'm not pregnant. 594 00:32:53,629 --> 00:32:57,195 I guess I was just late... this month. 595 00:32:57,228 --> 00:32:59,330 Are you serious? That's awesome news. 596 00:32:59,363 --> 00:33:01,433 Oh, I am so relieved. You're relieved? 597 00:33:01,466 --> 00:33:04,499 Why? I was the one who had to go to the doctor visit. 598 00:33:04,540 --> 00:33:06,667 No, I just mean that I'm relieved that the whole thing 599 00:33:06,707 --> 00:33:08,803 is over, you know, for the both of us. 600 00:33:08,843 --> 00:33:13,916 Let me hit you with the blunt instrument of reality, Puckerman. 601 00:33:13,949 --> 00:33:17,451 You're still you, a douchey playboy who's gonna spend the rest of his life 602 00:33:17,484 --> 00:33:21,051 dealing with one mess after another as long as he lives. 603 00:33:21,084 --> 00:33:24,587 One of these days, you are gonna knock someone up, and I feel bad 604 00:33:24,620 --> 00:33:27,592 for whoever has to have a child that shares your DNA. 605 00:33:27,625 --> 00:33:30,391 Hey, I'm gonna make a great father one day. 606 00:33:30,424 --> 00:33:32,128 To who? 607 00:33:32,161 --> 00:33:34,464 Your seven kids by seven different women? 608 00:33:35,496 --> 00:33:38,499 Not unless you change. 609 00:33:38,532 --> 00:33:41,866 Bree, look, I'm sorry, okay? I know this whole thing was really scary 610 00:33:41,899 --> 00:33:45,597 - and traumatic... - Just do me a favor and stay away from me from now on. 611 00:33:45,630 --> 00:33:47,629 You're toxic. 612 00:33:57,561 --> 00:33:58,967 Little known fact? 613 00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:02,135 McKinley saved a bundle on new lockers by using recycled metal. 614 00:34:02,168 --> 00:34:04,334 These lockers are actually Kalashnikovs 615 00:34:04,367 --> 00:34:08,338 that were melted down during the war in Chechnya. 616 00:34:08,371 --> 00:34:14,478 Uh, Principal Sylvester, Yes. I owe you an apology. I... 617 00:34:14,511 --> 00:34:20,380 I get in "business mode," and I may not be that observant, so I... Well, I... 618 00:34:20,421 --> 00:34:23,222 might've overlooked your more... feminine side. 619 00:34:23,255 --> 00:34:25,221 Oh. No worries, Superintendant. 620 00:34:25,254 --> 00:34:26,294 No worries. 621 00:34:26,959 --> 00:34:27,758 Please. 622 00:34:30,155 --> 00:34:35,156 And this... is the choir room of McKinley's pride and joy, 623 00:34:35,189 --> 00:34:39,224 our national championship glee club, the New Directions. 624 00:34:39,257 --> 00:34:43,828 Attention, McKinley School Board, Sue Sylvester has put our children 625 00:34:43,870 --> 00:34:45,502 in grave danger. 626 00:34:45,535 --> 00:34:47,776 There is a gas leak in this room 627 00:34:47,809 --> 00:34:52,145 that is a direct result of Sue Sylvester's failed leadership! 628 00:34:52,178 --> 00:34:56,646 No, there was a gas leak in this room, but I fixed it. 629 00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:01,058 I know a gas-induced fantasy dance sequence 630 00:35:01,091 --> 00:35:03,550 when I experience one. 631 00:35:03,591 --> 00:35:07,250 And despite the fact that facilities management is under your jurisdiction, 632 00:35:07,291 --> 00:35:11,426 Janitor Figgins, I found the problem, I corrected it 633 00:35:11,459 --> 00:35:13,732 and now I'm cutting your pay in half. 634 00:35:13,765 --> 00:35:16,467 Principal Sylvester, we've seen enough. 635 00:35:16,500 --> 00:35:19,809 Yours is precisely the type of leadership this school needs. 636 00:35:19,842 --> 00:35:22,548 The board would like to make you principal on a permanent basis. 637 00:35:22,581 --> 00:35:24,043 Oh! 638 00:35:24,084 --> 00:35:25,547 Congratulations, Sue. 639 00:35:25,580 --> 00:35:28,149 Oh, thank you so much, Superintendant. 640 00:35:28,190 --> 00:35:31,083 How about we go out and celebrate? 641 00:35:31,124 --> 00:35:32,187 Excuse me? 642 00:35:32,220 --> 00:35:34,492 Would you like to go out on a date with me? 643 00:35:34,525 --> 00:35:36,293 Um... no. 644 00:35:37,294 --> 00:35:38,365 I don't want to do that. 645 00:35:43,207 --> 00:35:45,336 Am I okay? 646 00:35:45,377 --> 00:35:49,481 I mean, is this what it feels like to be losing your mind? 647 00:35:49,514 --> 00:35:50,680 I'm unraveling. 648 00:35:50,713 --> 00:35:52,343 I feel like Mel Gibson in The Beaver. 649 00:35:52,384 --> 00:35:55,845 More like Mel Gibson in Mad Max, 650 00:35:55,879 --> 00:35:59,713 with your abs and your... leather. 651 00:35:59,746 --> 00:36:00,983 Wait, what leather? 652 00:36:01,016 --> 00:36:02,815 The leather I was imagining you in 653 00:36:02,848 --> 00:36:10,154 when I was rubbing vapor cream all over your smooth... hairless... chest. 654 00:36:10,187 --> 00:36:13,153 Tina, I'm engaged. 655 00:36:13,186 --> 00:36:16,821 - Hey, what's going on? - Uh... nothing. I'm-I'm just, um, cleaning my head out. 656 00:36:16,854 --> 00:36:18,316 Just trying to figure some stuff out. 657 00:36:18,357 --> 00:36:19,284 Is that supposed to be me? 658 00:36:19,325 --> 00:36:22,323 What?! That's... that-that's crazy. 659 00:36:22,356 --> 00:36:24,859 She has Asian eyes and my exact dress. 660 00:36:24,892 --> 00:36:26,227 Total coincidence. 661 00:36:26,260 --> 00:36:28,730 Not everything is about you, Tina. 662 00:36:28,763 --> 00:36:30,226 What do you want? 663 00:36:30,266 --> 00:36:32,529 I just wanted to let you know that everybody feels bad. 664 00:36:32,562 --> 00:36:34,865 We spent pretty much the whole Glee session discussing 665 00:36:34,899 --> 00:36:37,571 how much pressure you're under with nationals, graduation... 666 00:36:37,604 --> 00:36:40,981 The engagement. You were just trying to exert some control. And the truth is, 667 00:36:41,014 --> 00:36:42,907 you should have some. You've earned it. 668 00:36:42,948 --> 00:36:46,405 Sam suggested you should have the lead on one of the songs at nationals. 669 00:36:46,446 --> 00:36:48,613 So we took a vote and it was unanimous. 670 00:36:48,646 --> 00:36:51,677 Piano, a capella, whatever you think is right. 671 00:36:51,718 --> 00:36:54,043 - Thanks, Tina. - Of course. 672 00:36:54,083 --> 00:36:56,051 So if you're done being a puppet master, 673 00:36:56,084 --> 00:36:58,421 do you think you could take your hand out from under my dress? 674 00:36:58,454 --> 00:37:01,652 - Um... - Yeah. 675 00:37:01,693 --> 00:37:04,830 - Um... - It's okay. - Sorry about that. 676 00:37:04,864 --> 00:37:05,727 Thanks. 677 00:37:06,464 --> 00:37:09,502 I'm gonna miss having a Kurt puppet though. 678 00:37:09,535 --> 00:37:11,799 He did anything I said. 679 00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:13,408 Anything? 680 00:37:13,441 --> 00:37:16,239 All right, settle down, Puppet Tina. Okay. I get it. Blainey Days... 681 00:37:16,272 --> 00:37:19,248 Marley. Marley, Marley, please. 682 00:37:19,281 --> 00:37:20,713 Please just listen. Please. 683 00:37:20,746 --> 00:37:22,547 30 seconds. Go. 684 00:37:22,588 --> 00:37:24,482 I miss you. 685 00:37:24,523 --> 00:37:25,818 Every minute of every day. 686 00:37:25,851 --> 00:37:28,227 And I know that I screwed things up really badly, 687 00:37:28,260 --> 00:37:31,660 and I'm sorry. I know what I lost and I know that I can't be without you. 688 00:37:31,693 --> 00:37:34,101 I need you. I don't want to be this jerk anymore, 689 00:37:34,134 --> 00:37:36,797 and you are the only one who can make me a better person. 690 00:37:36,837 --> 00:37:39,133 A good person. I'm not here to fix you, Jake. 691 00:37:39,173 --> 00:37:41,668 I know, I know, I know. That's why I'm here. 692 00:37:41,709 --> 00:37:44,941 To make it right, to make it better, to make me better. 693 00:37:44,974 --> 00:37:49,615 I'm sorry, but we gave it a try and it... just wasn't right. 694 00:37:49,648 --> 00:37:54,954 So after all that... you're saying you don't have any feelings for me? 695 00:38:00,069 --> 00:38:03,837 I think that you're a good friend and teammate... 696 00:38:03,870 --> 00:38:06,942 Marley... but I just don't feel the same as you. 697 00:38:06,975 --> 00:38:09,340 Not anymore. 698 00:38:09,373 --> 00:38:10,843 Marley, please. 699 00:38:11,675 --> 00:38:13,306 I got to get to class. 700 00:38:13,347 --> 00:38:15,212 I'll see you later in Glee Club. 701 00:38:25,076 --> 00:38:27,397 Look, I know we don't know why Kurt called this meeting. 702 00:38:27,430 --> 00:38:28,597 It's probably to retire the band, 703 00:38:28,631 --> 00:38:30,511 but we can't rub it in and say, "I told you so." 704 00:38:30,535 --> 00:38:31,502 That would be devastating. 705 00:38:31,535 --> 00:38:34,839 Well, I wouldn't do that, and I'm not gonna let Kurt disband Pamela Lansbury. 706 00:38:34,872 --> 00:38:37,143 Look, I might not agree with all of his decisions, 707 00:38:37,176 --> 00:38:39,407 but he is our leader and he's an artist, 708 00:38:39,448 --> 00:38:41,709 and artists should be allowed to fail. 709 00:38:41,742 --> 00:38:43,381 Who says we failed? 710 00:38:43,414 --> 00:38:44,880 Cronuts, anyone? 711 00:38:44,921 --> 00:38:46,089 Hi. 712 00:38:46,122 --> 00:38:48,153 Oh, this? No big deal. 713 00:38:48,186 --> 00:38:52,060 Just a little token from the booking agency of the Williamsburg Music Hall, 714 00:38:52,093 --> 00:38:54,533 which is the location of our second gig! 715 00:38:54,566 --> 00:38:56,196 What? Are you serious? 716 00:38:56,237 --> 00:38:59,835 - How? - Okay, true, we only had one audience member at our last show, 717 00:38:59,868 --> 00:39:01,604 but it happened to be the right audience member 718 00:39:01,637 --> 00:39:05,043 because, not only was he a devoted Angela Lansbury fan, 719 00:39:05,076 --> 00:39:07,908 but he also liked what he saw, made a secret bootleg 720 00:39:07,949 --> 00:39:10,349 and passed it along to his nephew, who works at 721 00:39:10,383 --> 00:39:13,149 the Williamsburg Music Hall. The Williamsburg Music Hall, which also just happens to be... 722 00:39:13,182 --> 00:39:14,748 One of the hottest venues in Brooklyn. 723 00:39:14,789 --> 00:39:16,285 Good work, fearless leader. 724 00:39:16,318 --> 00:39:20,094 Well, it wasn't just me. It was... also a lot of luck and-and you guys. 725 00:39:20,127 --> 00:39:23,795 Because, you know, whether Pamela Lansbury implodes or explodes, 726 00:39:23,828 --> 00:39:26,133 I really have to thank you guys for sticking by me. 727 00:39:28,100 --> 00:39:29,929 Uh, package for Kurt Hummel. 728 00:39:29,962 --> 00:39:33,141 Okay. 729 00:39:33,174 --> 00:39:35,204 Thank you. Thank you. 730 00:39:35,237 --> 00:39:37,204 Oh, it's from Blaine. 731 00:39:37,245 --> 00:39:40,815 He sends a gift to say sorry for missing the performance the other night. 732 00:39:40,848 --> 00:39:41,912 That's so nice! 733 00:39:44,286 --> 00:39:47,318 Okay, that is creepy as hell. 734 00:39:47,351 --> 00:39:48,917 Is there one for each of us? 735 00:39:51,021 --> 00:39:53,722 Guys, I just wanted to apologize to all of you. 736 00:39:53,755 --> 00:39:57,594 I've been a little bit controlling lately and it's not cool. 737 00:39:57,627 --> 00:40:01,132 I've made some changes though and I've learned that sometimes 738 00:40:01,165 --> 00:40:03,667 you just need to let go. 739 00:40:03,700 --> 00:40:05,737 Cut the strings, so to speak. 740 00:40:05,770 --> 00:40:07,632 I bet you'll still be bossy as hell. 741 00:40:07,665 --> 00:40:09,432 Actually, I hope to be more of a leader, 742 00:40:09,473 --> 00:40:11,473 as opposed to being just bossy, Kitty. 743 00:40:11,506 --> 00:40:14,612 So to celebrate this new laissez-faire Blaine, 744 00:40:14,645 --> 00:40:19,055 I've made some felt peace offerings. 745 00:40:20,657 --> 00:40:21,488 Voila. 746 00:40:21,521 --> 00:40:22,854 - What? - Whoa! 747 00:40:22,887 --> 00:40:24,255 It has glasses! 748 00:40:26,867 --> 00:40:27,866 I think we look alike. 749 00:40:30,234 --> 00:40:37,540 ♪ Dog goes woof ♪ Cat goes meow ♪ Bird goes tweet ♪ And mouse goes squeak ♪ 750 00:40:37,581 --> 00:40:45,581 ♪ Cow goes moo ♪ Frog goes croak ♪ And the elephant goes toot ♪ Ducks say quack ♪ 751 00:40:46,885 --> 00:40:54,430 ♪ And fish go blub ♪ And the seal goes ow ow ow ♪ But there's one sound ♪ 752 00:40:54,463 --> 00:40:59,333 ♪ That no one knows ♪ ♪ What does the fox say? ♪ 753 00:40:59,367 --> 00:41:01,237 ♪ Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding-ding-ding ♪ 754 00:41:01,270 --> 00:41:03,235 ♪ Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding-ding-ding ♪ 755 00:41:03,268 --> 00:41:05,169 ♪ Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding-ding-ding ♪ 756 00:41:05,202 --> 00:41:06,907 ♪ What the fox say? ♪ 757 00:41:06,940 --> 00:41:12,550 ♪ Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow ♪ ♪ Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow ♪ Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow ♪ 758 00:41:12,583 --> 00:41:14,416 ♪ What the fox say? ♪ 759 00:41:14,449 --> 00:41:21,897 ♪ Hee, hee, hee ♪ A-hee, hee, hee ♪ ♪ A-hee, hee, hee ♪ What the fox say? ♪ 760 00:41:21,930 --> 00:41:29,399 ♪ Ooh... ♪ Ooh... ♪ ♪ What does the fox say? 761 00:41:31,064 --> 00:41:39,064 ♪ The secret of the fox ♪ Ancient mystery ♪ Somewhere deep in the woods ♪ 762 00:41:42,381 --> 00:41:49,595 ♪ I know you're hiding ♪ ♪ What is your sound? ♪ 763 00:41:49,637 --> 00:41:53,005 ♪ Will we ever know? ♪ 764 00:41:53,038 --> 00:42:01,038 ♪ Will always be a mystery ♪ ♪ What do you say? ♪ 765 00:42:04,888 --> 00:42:12,888 ♪ You're my guardian angel ♪ Hiding in the woods ♪ What is your sound? ♪ 766 00:42:15,267 --> 00:42:16,633 ♪ Wa-wa-way-do ♪ 767 00:42:16,666 --> 00:42:18,327 ♪ Wub-wid-bid-dum-way-do ♪ 768 00:42:18,368 --> 00:42:20,102 ♪ Wa-wa-way-do ♪ 769 00:42:20,135 --> 00:42:23,567 ♪ Will we ever know? ♪ 770 00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:25,735 ♪ I want to ♪ Wa-wa-way-do ♪ 771 00:42:25,776 --> 00:42:32,148 ♪ Know, I want to know ♪ I want to know ♪ Wa-wa-way-do. ♪ 772 00:42:32,178 --> 00:42:34,051 Sync & corrections by wilson0804 www.Addic7ed.com