1 00:00:07,691 --> 00:00:09,608 So, here's what you missed last season on Glee. 2 00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:11,643 Quinn had a baby, Finn and Rachel are in love, 3 00:00:11,711 --> 00:00:13,579 Sue's going easy on Will, and even though the Glee Club 4 00:00:13,646 --> 00:00:15,514 worked really hard to get to Regionals, they didn't win. 5 00:00:15,582 --> 00:00:17,583 Vocal Adrenaline! But it's okay to not win an award, 6 00:00:17,650 --> 00:00:19,785 particularly when you had so much fun getting there, right? 7 00:00:19,852 --> 00:00:21,219 Right? 8 00:00:21,287 --> 00:00:22,688 We didn't even place. 9 00:00:22,755 --> 00:00:25,591 And that's what you missed on Glee. 10 00:00:25,658 --> 00:00:29,294 Up here. Come on, focus. Okay. 11 00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:32,664 Hi, I'm Jacob Ben Israel with Glee's Big Gay Summer, 12 00:00:32,732 --> 00:00:35,334 with all the Glee Club dish you're dying to know. 13 00:00:35,401 --> 00:00:37,002 Rachel, how do you respond to rumors 14 00:00:37,070 --> 00:00:38,937 you're incredibly difficult to work with? 15 00:00:39,005 --> 00:00:40,872 Well, as her boyfriend, I can answer that. 16 00:00:40,940 --> 00:00:42,074 We've been dating all summer. 17 00:00:42,141 --> 00:00:44,710 Rachel's what you'd call a controllist. 18 00:00:44,777 --> 00:00:46,878 I- I'm controlling. "Controllist" isn't a word. 19 00:00:46,946 --> 00:00:49,848 Oh. I'm controlling. Performing is my life. 20 00:00:49,916 --> 00:00:52,384 And yes, do I have opinions about it? 21 00:00:52,452 --> 00:00:54,419 Does my need to constantly express those opinions 22 00:00:54,487 --> 00:00:57,389 - annoy my fellow Glee Clubbers? - Yes. 23 00:00:57,457 --> 00:01:00,092 That was out loud, wasn't it? 24 00:01:00,159 --> 00:01:02,828 Will Schuester, how do you respond to a recent post 25 00:01:02,895 --> 00:01:05,664 on my blog saying your Glee Club song selections 26 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:08,834 sound like they come from a drag queen's iPod? 27 00:01:08,901 --> 00:01:11,003 Well, I try to do something for everybody. 28 00:01:11,070 --> 00:01:15,440 Uh, 25% show tunes, 25% hip-hop, 25% classic rock... 29 00:01:15,508 --> 00:01:17,075 100% gay. 30 00:01:17,143 --> 00:01:18,610 Confirm or deny the rumor 31 00:01:18,678 --> 00:01:20,812 that because you knocked up Quinn Fabray, 32 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:24,149 you spent all your summer pool cleaning money on a vasectomy. 33 00:01:24,217 --> 00:01:25,584 It's true. 34 00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:27,319 It was the responsible thing to do. 35 00:01:27,387 --> 00:01:30,322 Is it also true you're suffering from a crippling depression 36 00:01:30,390 --> 00:01:33,792 because you're not over Miss Fabray? 37 00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:38,163 How has life changed since the birth of your bastard child? 38 00:01:38,231 --> 00:01:42,034 Well, I'm happy to be back, and I'm ready to start fresh. 39 00:01:42,101 --> 00:01:45,804 And... I'm a lot less hormonal, 40 00:01:45,872 --> 00:01:47,639 so... so there's not really any crying. 41 00:01:47,707 --> 00:01:51,143 - How was your summer? - My eyes are up here, JewFro. 42 00:01:51,210 --> 00:01:54,046 - And it was uneventful. - People thought I went on vacation, 43 00:01:54,113 --> 00:01:56,481 but actually I spent the summer lost in the sewers. 44 00:01:56,549 --> 00:01:57,683 What can you say 45 00:01:57,750 --> 00:01:59,718 about the rumors the two of you are dating? 46 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,787 Because we're both Asian? That's racist. 47 00:02:01,854 --> 00:02:06,725 Totally racist. 48 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,784 Did you get that? Did you get that? You saw it here first. 49 00:02:13,456 --> 00:02:17,836 Did you know there's a forum on my blog that's begging you to stop rapping? 50 00:02:17,904 --> 00:02:20,105 Wait, th-the kids don't like it when I rap? 51 00:02:21,239 --> 00:02:23,842 When will you Glee Clubbers accept the fact that people hate you Kiss it, Jacob. 52 00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:26,578 and think you're nothing but a glorified karaoke club Go away, go away. 53 00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:29,281 designed to make the inventors of AutoTune millions of dollars? 54 00:02:29,348 --> 00:02:31,917 When exactly did you ink your sponsorship with Lands' End? 55 00:02:31,984 --> 00:02:35,554 When are you slated to make your triumphant return to the Shire? 56 00:02:35,621 --> 00:02:37,222 How do you get the white on rice? 57 00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:38,824 What did you do with all that breast milk? 58 00:02:38,891 --> 00:02:41,827 You know what, Jacob? It doesn't take much courage for people 59 00:02:41,894 --> 00:02:43,795 to park their cottage cheese behinds in their Barcaloungers 60 00:02:43,863 --> 00:02:45,097 and log on to the Internet 61 00:02:45,164 --> 00:02:46,665 and start tearing people down, does it? 62 00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:48,467 But you know what does take some courage? 63 00:02:48,534 --> 00:02:50,969 Standing up and singing about something. 64 00:02:51,037 --> 00:02:53,438 So here's a message for everyone that reads your blog. 65 00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:55,741 Next time, instead of posting an anonymous comment online, 66 00:02:55,808 --> 00:03:02,314 - say what you have to say to my face. - Welcome back, lady! 67 00:03:02,381 --> 00:03:04,116 Whoo! 68 00:03:06,886 --> 00:03:10,655 I don't suppose there's any way you could just cut out that last part, is there? 69 00:03:19,100 --> 00:03:21,802 Glee. 70 00:03:21,837 --> 00:03:26,837 Synced by Rafael UPD and YesCool Corrected by YesCool www. addic7ed. com 71 00:03:37,583 --> 00:03:41,519 Hey, why so glum, William? Cat crap in your coffee? 72 00:03:41,587 --> 00:03:43,755 Or are you worried no one's signing up for your little club there? 73 00:03:43,823 --> 00:03:46,658 Nah, not at all, Sue. Nationals are in New York City this year. 74 00:03:46,725 --> 00:03:48,693 I think that list is gonna be filled up in no time. 75 00:03:48,761 --> 00:03:50,061 Well, you know what your problem is? 76 00:03:50,129 --> 00:03:52,730 "No tryouts, just sign up. " 77 00:03:52,798 --> 00:03:55,900 Nobody wants to be part of a club that just anyone can join. 78 00:03:55,968 --> 00:03:59,204 See this? It's a court summons child endangerment 79 00:03:59,271 --> 00:04:02,607 'cause there's been a line of would-be Cheerios! out there since late July. 80 00:04:02,675 --> 00:04:05,009 I guess they lost their humanity a little bit. 81 00:04:05,077 --> 00:04:06,978 One girl ate a pigeon, several others 82 00:04:07,046 --> 00:04:10,014 started worshipping a possum carcass as their lord. 83 00:04:10,082 --> 00:04:12,550 That's how much they want to be Cheerios! 84 00:04:12,618 --> 00:04:13,885 Well, sorry, Sue. 85 00:04:13,953 --> 00:04:17,522 Anyone who wants to join Glee Club gets to join. 86 00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:19,491 Oh, God, Will, let me break it down for you. 87 00:04:19,558 --> 00:04:22,127 High school is a dry run for the rest of your life. 88 00:04:22,194 --> 00:04:25,563 Not everyone can be champions. Not everyone should be champions. 89 00:04:25,631 --> 00:04:28,199 We need fry cooks and bus drivers. 90 00:04:28,267 --> 00:04:31,069 Well, Sue, it's how I work, and it's not going to change. 91 00:04:31,137 --> 00:04:32,804 I like being friends with you, Will. 92 00:04:32,872 --> 00:04:34,272 This is fun. 93 00:04:34,340 --> 00:04:37,542 You make not trying to destroy Glee Club easy. You know why? 94 00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:39,577 'Cause you're doing such a bang-up job of it 95 00:04:39,645 --> 00:04:40,979 all by yourself. 96 00:04:42,148 --> 00:04:47,112 Oh, it's time to feed my gimp. Oh, and also, Figgins wants to see us. 97 00:04:47,820 --> 00:04:50,288 Ah-ah-ah! Not you! Hands off that list. 98 00:04:52,491 --> 00:04:54,025 Cut my budget? 99 00:04:54,093 --> 00:04:56,427 You can't cut my budget without written consent 100 00:04:56,495 --> 00:04:58,596 from the President of the Federal Reserve! 101 00:04:58,664 --> 00:05:02,100 - It's in my contract! - Oh, Sue, I think you can manage 102 00:05:02,168 --> 00:05:05,036 a sixth national title without two confetti cannons. 103 00:05:05,104 --> 00:05:07,172 Do you think your kids can manage life without their daddy? 104 00:05:07,239 --> 00:05:08,840 We're barely surviving on the budget we have. 105 00:05:08,908 --> 00:05:11,409 Slashing the Glee budget by ten percent, 106 00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:12,911 cutting our transportation to and from events 107 00:05:12,978 --> 00:05:16,414 - is like cutting our legs off. - Sacrifices must be made. 108 00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:18,550 This is being mandated at the district level, guys. 109 00:05:18,617 --> 00:05:21,419 Studies show that the best way to bring in alumni donations 110 00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:24,956 is through a successful athletic department specifically, 111 00:05:25,024 --> 00:05:26,999 - a winning football team. - Who's this? 112 00:05:28,460 --> 00:05:30,628 I'm Shannon Beiste, I'm the new football coach. 113 00:05:30,696 --> 00:05:32,697 Spelled B- E-I-S-T-E. 114 00:05:32,765 --> 00:05:34,365 It's French. - I'm sorry, 115 00:05:34,433 --> 00:05:37,222 - what happened to Ken Tanaka? - Nervous breakdown. 116 00:05:37,257 --> 00:05:40,471 Don't look at it as a punishment, 117 00:05:40,539 --> 00:05:43,341 look at it as an investment into your clubs' futures. 118 00:05:43,409 --> 00:05:44,776 The more money the football program 119 00:05:44,843 --> 00:05:48,037 brings in, the more I can give back to you guys! 120 00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:50,815 Coach Beiste here is fresh off her fifth consecutive 121 00:05:50,883 --> 00:05:53,518 all-Missouri high school football championship. 122 00:05:53,586 --> 00:05:54,919 We're very lucky to have her! 123 00:05:55,300 --> 00:05:57,500 What can I say? I like a challenge. 124 00:05:57,623 --> 00:06:01,359 First of all, a female football coach, like a male nurse- 125 00:06:01,427 --> 00:06:02,961 sin against nature. 126 00:06:03,028 --> 00:06:06,831 Number two, I'm sure you're used to Hillbilly parents 127 00:06:06,899 --> 00:06:08,833 yelping adulation at you as they attempt 128 00:06:08,901 --> 00:06:12,537 to impregnate the tailpipes of various off-road vehicles. 129 00:06:12,605 --> 00:06:16,140 But you're in my house now, Beiste. 130 00:06:16,208 --> 00:06:19,477 No one comes into my house and steals from me. 131 00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:24,148 Do not get up in a panther's business, lady. 132 00:06:24,216 --> 00:06:29,420 - You're all coffee and no omelet. - That doesn't make any sense. 133 00:06:29,488 --> 00:06:33,157 Coach, Beiste, I think you understand our frustration. 134 00:06:33,225 --> 00:06:36,797 - Our budgets just got cut by ten percent. - It should have been more! 135 00:06:36,799 --> 00:06:38,463 You think there's not something wrong when 136 00:06:38,530 --> 00:06:40,475 the cheerleaders' budget's higher than the people 137 00:06:40,478 --> 00:06:43,234 - who they're cheering for? - Well, sure, but the Glee Club is a... 138 00:06:43,302 --> 00:06:45,236 The Glee Club? You came in third last year 139 00:06:45,304 --> 00:06:47,672 and you're asking for more money? 140 00:06:48,974 --> 00:06:52,331 That's a steer with six teats and no oink. 141 00:06:56,148 --> 00:06:58,216 - This doesn't make any sense. - What? 142 00:06:59,551 --> 00:07:01,753 These are comments from Jacob Ben-Israel's 143 00:07:01,820 --> 00:07:06,024 most recent Glee Club blog. "Glee is a giant ball of suck. " 144 00:07:06,091 --> 00:07:08,493 We get it, Mr. Shue. Everyone still hates us. 145 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:11,663 So what? So we're plankton on the high school food chain? 146 00:07:11,730 --> 00:07:14,197 Only difference now is that none of us really care. 147 00:07:14,359 --> 00:07:15,867 Kurt's right. We're a family. 148 00:07:15,868 --> 00:07:17,926 They can bring it all they want. None of it is going to break us. 149 00:07:17,961 --> 00:07:19,504 Okay, I'm really happy that you guys have all bonded. 150 00:07:19,571 --> 00:07:22,607 The problem is that all of this negative stuff 151 00:07:22,675 --> 00:07:24,509 is keeping other students from auditioning. 152 00:07:24,995 --> 00:07:26,711 Good. Why do we need new members? 153 00:07:26,746 --> 00:07:29,514 Well, since Matt transferred, we only have 11 members, 154 00:07:29,581 --> 00:07:31,949 and if we want to go to Nationals, if we want to beat Vocal Adrenaline, 155 00:07:32,017 --> 00:07:35,945 we have to go from a small rebel force to a giant wall of sound. 156 00:07:36,386 --> 00:07:37,755 Yeah, Mr. Schuester's right, you guys. 157 00:07:37,823 --> 00:07:40,592 You didn't see Vocal Adrenaline at Regionals. They were epic. 158 00:07:40,770 --> 00:07:42,833 We're going to need more voices in order to beat them. 159 00:07:43,122 --> 00:07:46,064 - Yeah. I'm with Rachel on this one. - Gross. 160 00:07:46,732 --> 00:07:48,461 You're going to have to trust me on this, guys. 161 00:07:48,685 --> 00:07:52,901 Now, here's the plan. Nationals are in New York this year, 162 00:07:53,117 --> 00:07:56,974 and we are going. Now let's go out there 163 00:07:57,042 --> 00:07:58,609 and show the school how cool it's going to be, 164 00:07:58,677 --> 00:08:07,952 how cool we can be. If they're not going to come to us, let's go to them. They say we only sing show tunes and '80s pop. Let's show them how down we are. 165 00:08:08,020 --> 00:08:11,823 Let's give them the song of the year, New Directions! style. 166 00:08:11,890 --> 00:08:13,257 Okay. Whoo! Whoo! Yeah! 167 00:08:17,896 --> 00:08:19,330 # Bum bum bum # 168 00:08:19,398 --> 00:08:22,734 # Bah bah bah bah bah # 169 00:08:22,801 --> 00:08:24,402 # Bah bah bah # # Bum bum bum # 170 00:08:24,470 --> 00:08:26,671 # Bah bah bah bah bah # 171 00:08:26,739 --> 00:08:28,673 # Bah bah bah # 172 00:08:28,741 --> 00:08:30,441 # Yeah, yeah, I'm out that Brooklyn # 173 00:08:30,627 --> 00:08:32,143 # Now I'm down in Tribeca # 174 00:08:32,211 --> 00:08:34,981 # Right next to DeNiro, but I'll be hood forever # 175 00:08:35,016 --> 00:08:35,847 # I'm the new Sinatra # 176 00:08:35,914 --> 00:08:38,716 # And since I made it here, I can make it anywhere # 177 00:08:38,784 --> 00:08:39,751 # Yeah, they love me everywhere # 178 00:08:39,818 --> 00:08:42,553 # I used to cop in Harlem # # All of my Dominicanos # 179 00:08:42,621 --> 00:08:44,489 # Right there up on Broadway # 180 00:08:44,556 --> 00:08:45,957 # Pull me back to that McDonald's # 181 00:08:46,024 --> 00:08:48,693 # Took it to my stash box, 560 State Street # 182 00:08:48,761 --> 00:08:51,229 # Catch me in the kitchen like a Simmons whippin' pastries # 183 00:08:51,296 --> 00:08:52,730 - # Aah, ooh # - # Eight million stories # 184 00:08:52,940 --> 00:08:55,233 # Out there in it naked # # City, it's a pity # 185 00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:57,034 # Half of y'all won't make it # 186 00:08:57,102 --> 00:08:59,070 # Me, I got a plug, Special Ed "I Got It Made" # 187 00:08:59,138 --> 00:09:02,073 # If Jesus payin' LeBron, I'm payin' Dwyane Wade # 188 00:09:02,141 --> 00:09:05,443 # Aah # # Three dice cee-lo, three card monte # 189 00:09:05,511 --> 00:09:07,345 # Labor Day Parade, rest in peace, Bob Marley # 190 00:09:07,413 --> 00:09:10,948 # Jigga I be Spik'd out # # I could trip a referee # 191 00:09:11,016 --> 00:09:14,752 # Tell by my attitude that I'm most definitely from # 192 00:09:14,820 --> 00:09:16,521 - # New York # - # Hey # 193 00:09:16,588 --> 00:09:20,658 # Concrete jungle where dreams are made of # 194 00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:23,594 - # There's nothin' you can't do # - # That Brooklyn # 195 00:09:23,952 --> 00:09:28,099 - # Now you're in New York # - # You're in New York # 196 00:09:28,167 --> 00:09:29,567 # Welcome to the bright lights, baby # 197 00:09:29,635 --> 00:09:31,302 # These streets will make you feel brand new # 198 00:09:31,370 --> 00:09:34,572 # Big lights will inspire you # 199 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:40,044 # Let's hear it for New York, New York, New York # 200 00:09:40,112 --> 00:09:42,046 # Yeah # 201 00:09:42,114 --> 00:09:45,082 # One hand in the air for the big city # 202 00:09:45,150 --> 00:09:47,552 # Street lights, big dreams, all lookin' pretty # 203 00:09:47,619 --> 00:09:50,254 # No place in the world that could compare # 204 00:09:50,322 --> 00:09:51,255 # Put your lighters in the air # 205 00:09:51,323 --> 00:09:55,092 # Everybody say "Yeah, yeah" # 206 00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:58,196 # Yeah, yeah # 207 00:09:58,263 --> 00:10:01,299 # In New York # 208 00:10:01,366 --> 00:10:04,635 # Concrete jungle where dreams are made of # 209 00:10:04,703 --> 00:10:07,472 # There's nothing you can't do # 210 00:10:07,539 --> 00:10:09,841 # Now you're in New York # 211 00:10:09,908 --> 00:10:12,510 # New York, New York # 212 00:10:12,578 --> 00:10:15,780 # These streets will make you feel brand new # 213 00:10:15,848 --> 00:10:19,350 - # Brand new # - # Big lights will inspire you # 214 00:10:19,418 --> 00:10:21,819 # Let's hear it for New York # 215 00:10:21,887 --> 00:10:26,457 # New York, New York # # New York, New York # 216 00:10:26,525 --> 00:10:29,160 # Bah bah bah bah bah # 217 00:10:29,228 --> 00:10:31,128 # Bah bah bah. # 218 00:10:38,537 --> 00:10:40,304 Hey, Sue. Can I talk to you for a second? 219 00:10:40,372 --> 00:10:42,073 Sure, buddy. You look steamed. 220 00:10:42,140 --> 00:10:44,108 Those kids went out and really tried to show 221 00:10:44,176 --> 00:10:46,677 what Glee Club was all about. And how does the school repay them? 222 00:10:46,745 --> 00:10:50,715 By defacing the sign-up sheet. "Buttface McBallnuts. " 223 00:10:50,782 --> 00:10:53,017 "Ass-braham Lin-colon. " They're not even funny! 224 00:10:53,085 --> 00:10:55,319 Now, don't be rude, William. I put a lot of thought into those. 225 00:10:58,019 --> 00:11:00,691 Consider this a wakeup call. You're worried about getting new recruits? 226 00:11:00,759 --> 00:11:03,394 Well, if Beiste get her way and our budgets are slashed, 227 00:11:03,462 --> 00:11:07,765 you'll be cutting kids left and right. 228 00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:10,468 You're right. I hadn't thought about that. 229 00:11:10,536 --> 00:11:15,705 Beiste needs to be stopped, and I need your help to topple her. 230 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:22,697 - You in? - I'm in. 231 00:11:26,658 --> 00:11:28,225 I was really excited 232 00:11:28,293 --> 00:11:29,927 about my Glee Club recruit poster design. 233 00:11:29,994 --> 00:11:32,329 I made it super masculine, just like these pamphlets I saw 234 00:11:32,397 --> 00:11:34,932 some Army guys passing out at a daycare center. 235 00:11:35,396 --> 00:11:37,526 Then, I heard something... 236 00:11:37,702 --> 00:11:40,637 # We both lie silent and still in the dead of the night # 237 00:11:41,364 --> 00:11:44,274 # Although we lie close together # 238 00:11:44,342 --> 00:11:46,910 # I feel like we're miles apart... # It was this new transfer kid. 239 00:11:46,978 --> 00:11:49,313 I saw him tapping his foot when we busted it out 240 00:11:49,380 --> 00:11:51,682 in the courtyard the day before... 241 00:11:51,749 --> 00:11:56,086 # Every rose has its thorn # 242 00:11:56,154 --> 00:12:01,825 # Just like every night has its dawn # 243 00:12:01,893 --> 00:12:04,394 I would've joined in with a kick-ass harmony, 244 00:12:04,462 --> 00:12:05,929 but the dude was naked. 245 00:12:05,997 --> 00:12:09,433 # Just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song... # 246 00:12:21,952 --> 00:12:24,648 Oh, hello! I couldn't help but notice you admiring me 247 00:12:24,716 --> 00:12:26,049 - yesterday in the courtyard. - Um, what? 248 00:12:26,647 --> 00:12:30,107 Oh, you don't speak English. You like me sing! 249 00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:34,758 - You like me sing very much! - Um, I totally speak English. 250 00:12:34,826 --> 00:12:37,661 I even did a little research on you. You're a foreign exchange student 251 00:12:37,729 --> 00:12:39,963 named Sunshine Corazon because you're from 252 00:12:40,031 --> 00:12:41,565 the Philippines, where it's sunny every day. 253 00:12:41,633 --> 00:12:43,634 - Except for the monsoons. - Listen, Sunshine, 254 00:12:44,001 --> 00:12:45,268 we need chorus members; 255 00:12:45,646 --> 00:12:47,270 people to stand behind me and stare at me 256 00:12:47,338 --> 00:12:48,972 with wet, moved eyes while I sing solos. 257 00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:53,476 So I encourage you to audition for Glee Club! 258 00:12:53,544 --> 00:12:58,381 Glee Club is fun! Swaying in background can be fun! 259 00:12:58,449 --> 00:12:59,683 Thank you. Okay. 260 00:13:03,087 --> 00:13:06,890 # Hello, hello, baby, you called, I can't hear a thing # 261 00:13:06,958 --> 00:13:10,460 # I have got no service in the club, you say, say? # 262 00:13:10,528 --> 00:13:14,965 # Wha-wha-what did you say? Oh, you're breaking up on me # 263 00:13:15,032 --> 00:13:18,368 # Sorry, I cannot hear you, I'm kinda busy # 264 00:13:18,436 --> 00:13:22,973 # K-kinda busy # 265 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:26,943 # Sorry, I cannot hear you, I'm kinda busy # 266 00:13:27,011 --> 00:13:28,945 # Just a second, it's my favorite song 267 00:13:29,013 --> 00:13:30,413 # They're gonna play # 268 00:13:30,481 --> 00:13:34,217 # And I cannot text you with a drink in my hand, eh? # 269 00:13:34,285 --> 00:13:36,286 # You shoulda made some plans with me # 270 00:13:36,354 --> 00:13:38,555 # You knew that I was free # 271 00:13:38,623 --> 00:13:42,525 # And now you won't stop calling me, I'm kinda busy # 272 00:13:42,593 --> 00:13:47,063 # Stop callin', stop callin', I don't wanna think anymore! # 273 00:13:47,131 --> 00:13:50,400 # I left my head and my heart on the dance floor # 274 00:13:50,468 --> 00:13:55,171 # Stop callin', stop callin', I don't wanna talk anymore! # 275 00:13:55,239 --> 00:13:58,575 # I left my head and my heart on the dance floor # 276 00:14:00,678 --> 00:14:02,746 # Stop telephoning me! # 277 00:14:02,813 --> 00:14:05,282 # Stop telephoning me # 278 00:14:05,349 --> 00:14:07,217 # I'm being... # 279 00:14:07,285 --> 00:14:09,152 Shut up! 280 00:14:13,524 --> 00:14:16,126 That was fun. I'd love to join your club. 281 00:14:16,193 --> 00:14:20,096 - When are auditions? - Let me get back to you on that one. 282 00:14:20,164 --> 00:14:23,433 - Don't tell anyone about this, okay? - Okay. 283 00:14:27,805 --> 00:14:30,206 We're trying to recruit new members for Glee Club. 284 00:14:31,809 --> 00:14:33,677 The Panther isn't cool with anything 285 00:14:33,744 --> 00:14:37,380 except doing exactly what she says without question. 286 00:14:37,448 --> 00:14:38,882 That's how you win. 287 00:14:38,949 --> 00:14:41,985 Now, first things first. You're all cut. 288 00:14:42,053 --> 00:14:45,655 Everyone starts fresh with me. Tryouts start... 289 00:14:45,723 --> 00:14:50,527 - right now. Any questions? - I got 25 290 00:14:50,594 --> 00:14:53,663 everything pies for a Coach... Beiste? 291 00:14:53,731 --> 00:14:57,133 I didn't order any pizzas. 292 00:15:04,472 --> 00:15:08,794 Isn't this kind of immature? 293 00:15:08,829 --> 00:15:11,948 No, it's downright childish. But I know gals like Beiste. 294 00:15:12,016 --> 00:15:14,684 Oh, her high school life must have been miserable. 295 00:15:14,752 --> 00:15:19,556 She's oversized, humorless, refers to herself in the third person as an animal. 296 00:15:19,623 --> 00:15:22,959 This kind of abuse and teasing 297 00:15:23,027 --> 00:15:25,362 will bring back all those childhood memories. 298 00:15:25,429 --> 00:15:28,665 She'll be shaken to her core. Humiliated and devastated. 299 00:15:28,733 --> 00:15:31,401 She'll have no choice but to quit her job, 300 00:15:31,469 --> 00:15:34,904 - and our budgets will be restored. - Yes! 301 00:15:34,972 --> 00:15:36,506 The boss says, uh, 302 00:15:36,574 --> 00:15:39,342 if you don't pay for 'em, I have to. 303 00:15:39,410 --> 00:15:42,645 Which means we have to reuse my kid's Pampers. 304 00:15:42,713 --> 00:15:45,081 For another week. 305 00:15:52,790 --> 00:15:56,693 Hand 'em out, Wayne Newton. All right, guys, it's a pizza party. 306 00:15:56,940 --> 00:16:00,363 Dig in. Everybody has to eat at least four slices. 307 00:16:00,431 --> 00:16:02,532 Let's go! And when you're done, 308 00:16:02,864 --> 00:16:05,168 full pads out on the field. We're doing wind sprints. 309 00:16:05,236 --> 00:16:09,439 And the first ten to puke are off the team. 310 00:16:15,446 --> 00:16:18,481 Hey, guys, um, there's pizza in there, if you want some. 311 00:16:18,549 --> 00:16:19,416 - Thank you. - Thank you. 312 00:16:23,487 --> 00:16:25,388 I figured that if Kurt's gay and he can do it, 313 00:16:25,456 --> 00:16:28,625 - then why can't I? - Being gay isn't a handicap, Artie. 314 00:16:28,692 --> 00:16:30,660 How can you play football in a wheelchair, anyway? 315 00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:33,029 I have to get on that team, Finn. 316 00:16:34,198 --> 00:16:37,634 - Dude, what's this about? - Tina. 317 00:16:37,701 --> 00:16:39,869 She dumped me for Mike Chang. 318 00:16:40,507 --> 00:16:44,407 They fell in love over the summer at... Asian Camp. 319 00:16:44,475 --> 00:16:46,576 They were counselors, in charge of teaching 320 00:16:46,644 --> 00:16:49,546 all those tech-savvy Asian kids about the arts. 321 00:16:49,613 --> 00:16:53,850 # Getting to know all about you # 322 00:16:53,918 --> 00:16:57,120 # Getting to like you... # 323 00:17:02,159 --> 00:17:05,328 So, what did Tina say when she broke up with you? 324 00:17:05,396 --> 00:17:07,564 I think you're great, Artie, but you're a terrible boyfriend. 325 00:17:07,631 --> 00:17:09,032 You ignored me for weeks this summer. 326 00:17:09,099 --> 00:17:11,067 I was playing a marathon round of Halo, woman. 327 00:17:11,135 --> 00:17:12,669 And then when we did get together, 328 00:17:12,736 --> 00:17:15,805 all you wanted to do was watch Coming Home over and over. 329 00:17:15,873 --> 00:17:20,376 Mike tries to be into what I'm into. Like his abs. 330 00:17:22,847 --> 00:17:26,783 Dude, I'm sympathetic for you, I just don't see you on the football team. 331 00:17:26,851 --> 00:17:28,685 Imagine you were pushing me in this big hunk of metal 332 00:17:28,752 --> 00:17:30,086 down the field at full speed. 333 00:17:30,154 --> 00:17:31,721 The centrifugal force would be too much to stop. 334 00:17:31,789 --> 00:17:34,257 I'd be like a medieval battering ram. 335 00:17:35,726 --> 00:17:38,995 Dude, you'd be like a human cannonball. That would be awesome! 336 00:17:39,063 --> 00:17:40,897 So you'll help? 337 00:17:42,132 --> 00:17:46,569 Sure. But you got to help me first. Hey, Sam. 338 00:17:46,637 --> 00:17:49,305 My name's Finn. This here is Artie. 339 00:17:49,373 --> 00:17:52,509 Yeah, I know who you are. You're the... the quarterback. 340 00:17:52,576 --> 00:17:54,511 Exactly, Which makes me very cool. 341 00:17:54,578 --> 00:17:56,546 And we'd like to talk to you about Glee Club. 342 00:17:57,915 --> 00:18:01,351 - So, Sam, tell us about yourself. - My name's Sam Evans. 343 00:18:01,418 --> 00:18:04,254 I like comic books, sports. 344 00:18:04,321 --> 00:18:06,656 I'm dyslexic, so my grades aren't that good, but... 345 00:18:06,724 --> 00:18:09,325 - I'm working on it. - Dude, your mouth is huge. 346 00:18:09,393 --> 00:18:11,361 How many tennis balls can you fit in there? 347 00:18:11,428 --> 00:18:14,163 I don't... know. I've never had any balls in my mouth. 348 00:18:14,231 --> 00:18:19,736 - Have you? - I like this kid. 349 00:18:19,803 --> 00:18:22,772 I like his confidence, but the Bieber cut's gotta go. 350 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:23,973 Mm-hmm. 351 00:18:24,041 --> 00:18:26,943 - So, can you sing with that big mouth? - I've never really sung 352 00:18:27,011 --> 00:18:28,611 in front of anybody before. 353 00:18:28,679 --> 00:18:31,848 Dude, let me tell you, chicks dig singers. 354 00:18:31,916 --> 00:18:34,817 Well, give it a shot. We'll back you up, I promise. 355 00:18:34,885 --> 00:18:36,519 What song you got in your back pocket? 356 00:18:36,587 --> 00:18:38,788 Um... "Billionaire"? 357 00:18:43,527 --> 00:18:45,828 # I wanna be a billionaire # 358 00:18:45,896 --> 00:18:48,865 # So freakin' bad # 359 00:18:48,932 --> 00:18:52,668 # Buy all of the things I never had # 360 00:18:54,571 --> 00:18:59,976 # I wanna be on the cover of Forbes magazine # 361 00:19:00,043 --> 00:19:04,380 # Smiling next to Oprah and the Queen # 362 00:19:04,448 --> 00:19:07,483 # Oh, every time I close # 363 00:19:07,551 --> 00:19:09,352 # My eyes # 364 00:19:11,021 --> 00:19:15,458 # I see my name in shining lights # 365 00:19:15,526 --> 00:19:16,826 # Yeah # 366 00:19:16,894 --> 00:19:19,328 # A different city every night # 367 00:19:19,396 --> 00:19:21,297 # Oh, I # 368 00:19:21,365 --> 00:19:25,034 # I swear # # The world better prepare # 369 00:19:25,102 --> 00:19:29,105 # For when I'm a billionaire # 370 00:19:29,173 --> 00:19:31,707 # Yeah, I would have a show like Oprah # 371 00:19:31,775 --> 00:19:32,942 # I would be the host of # 372 00:19:33,010 --> 00:19:34,277 # Every day Christmas # 373 00:19:34,344 --> 00:19:35,812 # Give Artie a wish list # 374 00:19:35,879 --> 00:19:38,281 # I'll probably pull a Angelina and Brad Pitt # 375 00:19:38,348 --> 00:19:41,150 # And adopt a bunch of babies that ain't never had it # 376 00:19:41,218 --> 00:19:43,619 # Give away a few Mercedes like, "Here, lady, have this" # 377 00:19:43,687 --> 00:19:47,023 # And last but not least, grant somebody their last wish # 378 00:19:47,090 --> 00:19:49,592 # It's been a couple months that I been single, so # 379 00:19:49,660 --> 00:19:52,161 # You can call me Artie Claus, minus the ho-ho # 380 00:19:52,229 --> 00:19:55,631 # Ha-ha! Get it? I'll probably visit where Katrina hit # 381 00:19:55,699 --> 00:19:58,334 # And darn sure do a lot more than FEMA did # 382 00:19:58,402 --> 00:20:00,636 # Yeah, can't forget about me, stupid # 383 00:20:00,704 --> 00:20:03,506 # Everywhere I go, I'm-a have my own theme music # 384 00:20:03,574 --> 00:20:06,843 # Oh, every time I close my eyes # 385 00:20:06,910 --> 00:20:09,011 # Uh, what you see, what you see, bruh? # 386 00:20:09,079 --> 00:20:12,982 # I see my name in shining lights # 387 00:20:13,050 --> 00:20:14,984 - # Uh-huh, And what else? # - # Oh, yeah # 388 00:20:15,052 --> 00:20:17,220 # A different city every night # 389 00:20:17,287 --> 00:20:21,490 - # Oh, I, I swear # - # Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah # 390 00:20:21,558 --> 00:20:23,392 - # World better prepare # - # For what? # 391 00:20:23,460 --> 00:20:25,928 # For when I'm a billionaire # 392 00:20:25,996 --> 00:20:28,297 # Oh, oh, oh, oh # 393 00:20:28,365 --> 00:20:29,432 # Oh! # 394 00:20:29,499 --> 00:20:32,168 # When I'm a billionaire # 395 00:20:32,236 --> 00:20:34,036 # Oh, oh, oh, oh # 396 00:20:34,104 --> 00:20:36,606 - # Sing it! # - # When I'm a billionaire # 397 00:20:36,673 --> 00:20:39,408 # Oh, oh, oh, oh # 398 00:20:39,476 --> 00:20:40,443 # Oh! # 399 00:20:42,613 --> 00:20:44,947 # I wanna be a billionaire # 400 00:20:45,015 --> 00:20:48,885 # So freakin' bad. # 401 00:20:51,655 --> 00:20:53,189 That-that was really cool! 402 00:20:53,257 --> 00:20:56,759 Nice. So you think you can come back and do that in front of everybody? 403 00:20:56,827 --> 00:20:57,960 Sure. 404 00:21:05,065 --> 00:21:08,701 - So, is that a men's sweater? - Fashion has no gender. 405 00:21:09,669 --> 00:21:13,605 Ladies, we have a problem. There's a new student at this school 406 00:21:13,673 --> 00:21:16,441 named Sunshine who is a Filipino and is shorter than me. 407 00:21:16,509 --> 00:21:18,443 Which I didn't think was possible and is very unnerving. 408 00:21:18,511 --> 00:21:20,045 Okay, so I'm gonna go now. 409 00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:22,347 Wait! And... 410 00:21:22,415 --> 00:21:26,084 she has a remarkable voice. 411 00:21:26,152 --> 00:21:28,754 I'm just... I'm very worried. 412 00:21:28,821 --> 00:21:30,322 You know, not-not for myself, 413 00:21:30,390 --> 00:21:33,458 but for my lesser Glee Clubbers who don't get as many solos. 414 00:21:33,526 --> 00:21:36,561 So I've paid a hundred dollars to Azimio and Karofsky 415 00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:38,430 to brutally slushie us in front of Sunshine's locker, 416 00:21:38,498 --> 00:21:40,499 terrifying her and ensuring she doesn't sign up. 417 00:21:42,248 --> 00:21:43,268 So this is the part where you're supposed to be 418 00:21:43,336 --> 00:21:46,471 - hugging me and thanking me. - That's awful. You're awful. 419 00:21:46,539 --> 00:21:47,839 But solos! I mean... 420 00:21:47,907 --> 00:21:50,108 Look, Rachel, Mercedes and I are about as self-involved 421 00:21:50,176 --> 00:21:53,679 as they come, but more than anything, we want to beat Vocal Adrenaline. 422 00:21:53,746 --> 00:21:56,281 And if there's someone at the school that can help us do that, 423 00:21:56,349 --> 00:21:56,982 they're in. 424 00:21:59,218 --> 00:22:04,089 You know what? You're right. 425 00:22:04,157 --> 00:22:07,192 It's just... so like me to just be 426 00:22:07,260 --> 00:22:10,162 totally blinded by my concern for the two of you. 427 00:22:10,229 --> 00:22:13,131 I'll-I'll-I'll go talk to Sunshine now 428 00:22:13,199 --> 00:22:16,969 and just let her know how truly welcome she really is. 429 00:22:17,036 --> 00:22:18,603 Thanks. 430 00:22:26,559 --> 00:22:29,548 Hi. So, here's the address for the audition tomorrow 431 00:22:29,615 --> 00:22:30,816 and helpful directions. 432 00:22:30,883 --> 00:22:34,119 - Look forward to seeing you there. - Thanks. 433 00:22:40,626 --> 00:22:45,525 Beiste is on the move. Operation Mean Girl is a go. 434 00:22:46,799 --> 00:22:48,767 Move. Go! Disperse. 435 00:22:48,835 --> 00:22:50,969 Leave the Danish. 436 00:22:56,376 --> 00:22:57,909 - Anyone sitting here? - Yes. 437 00:22:57,977 --> 00:23:00,545 These seats are currently being occupied by my ghost friends. 438 00:23:00,613 --> 00:23:04,149 - I beg your pardon? - My ghost friends. 439 00:23:04,217 --> 00:23:06,918 Hideous, lonely faculty members who met with an early death 440 00:23:06,986 --> 00:23:09,087 from good old-fashioned schoolyard bullying. 441 00:23:09,155 --> 00:23:12,157 And you know why? They tried to cross me. 442 00:23:12,225 --> 00:23:13,592 So why don't you just keep on walking? 443 00:23:19,665 --> 00:23:22,534 Hi, Will. You... you mind if I sit here? 444 00:23:23,874 --> 00:23:25,871 Sorry. Taken. 445 00:23:25,938 --> 00:23:31,131 - How about there? - Actually, they're all sort of taken. 446 00:23:31,711 --> 00:23:34,413 I am, uh, meeting with some... 447 00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:40,285 some science teachers. You think it's easy being a female football coach, being different? 448 00:23:40,353 --> 00:23:42,788 You think I don't get this everywhere I go? 449 00:23:42,855 --> 00:23:46,758 Everybody told me that Sue was the school bully and, uh... 450 00:23:46,826 --> 00:23:48,860 that you were really cool. 451 00:23:48,928 --> 00:23:50,762 I see they got that last part wrong, huh? 452 00:24:10,516 --> 00:24:12,751 So you know why Helen Keller couldn't drive, right? 453 00:24:12,819 --> 00:24:16,488 - Why? - 'Cause she was a woman. 454 00:24:16,556 --> 00:24:19,691 Coach Beiste? 455 00:24:21,027 --> 00:24:25,397 - Are you crying? - Yeah. 456 00:24:25,465 --> 00:24:29,545 Saw your stats from last season, and it really hurt my feelings. 457 00:24:32,972 --> 00:24:38,810 Hey, Coach, uh, this is Artie. He'd like to try out for the team. 458 00:24:40,312 --> 00:24:43,448 - You screwing with me? - No, no. Absolutely not. 459 00:24:43,516 --> 00:24:45,383 Uh, see we figured that 460 00:24:45,451 --> 00:24:47,986 if I push him down the field fast enough, the centrifugal... 461 00:24:48,054 --> 00:24:50,288 - Centrifugal. Centrifugal force. - You're out. 462 00:24:50,356 --> 00:24:52,424 Wait. What?! 463 00:24:52,492 --> 00:24:54,526 You're off the team, cut, out! 464 00:24:54,594 --> 00:24:57,896 You come in here, pushing a kid in a wheelchair, 465 00:24:57,964 --> 00:25:01,466 making me look like some kind of monster because I have to tell him he can't play? 466 00:25:01,534 --> 00:25:03,368 No. No, that's not 467 00:25:03,436 --> 00:25:05,270 - what was going on here. Artie? - I really want to play. 468 00:25:05,338 --> 00:25:08,140 I want my girlfriend back, and I want abs. 469 00:25:09,709 --> 00:25:10,675 Yeah, he's like 470 00:25:10,743 --> 00:25:13,345 - a human battering ram, like, like, Braveheart. You know what? 471 00:25:13,412 --> 00:25:15,580 I don't like being screwed with! 472 00:25:15,648 --> 00:25:17,749 - Do you understand me? - Dude, you're totally overreacting. 473 00:25:17,817 --> 00:25:19,384 "Dude"? 474 00:25:19,452 --> 00:25:24,289 Get the hell out of my locker room! Go! 475 00:25:26,192 --> 00:25:30,462 Think this is some joke? Go! 476 00:25:41,774 --> 00:25:43,308 Next! 477 00:25:47,513 --> 00:25:50,982 - No way. Get out. - Coach Sylvester, please hear me out. 478 00:25:51,050 --> 00:25:53,951 Nope. I trusted you, and you let me down. 479 00:25:54,019 --> 00:25:55,720 I don't want you anywhere near my squad. 480 00:25:55,788 --> 00:25:59,257 You'll deafen them with the sound of your stretch marks rubbing together. 481 00:25:59,324 --> 00:26:01,292 I understand you had your confetti cannons taken away. 482 00:26:01,360 --> 00:26:04,028 Well, I'll bet there are quite a few church groups 483 00:26:04,096 --> 00:26:06,664 who would gladly give money to a squad who helped rehabilitate 484 00:26:06,732 --> 00:26:08,099 a girl who got pregnant 485 00:26:08,167 --> 00:26:09,827 and now speaks out for abstinence education 486 00:26:09,828 --> 00:26:11,402 while wearing a 'Cheerios!' uniform. 487 00:26:13,333 --> 00:26:15,302 Next! 488 00:26:18,610 --> 00:26:23,047 - Oh, my gosh, Coach. - Wait. You're serious? Finn? 489 00:26:23,115 --> 00:26:26,918 - My eyes are still burning. - I'm Finn Hudson, 490 00:26:26,985 --> 00:26:29,587 and I'd like to audition for the Cheerios! 491 00:26:32,091 --> 00:26:33,891 # I've got the power # 492 00:26:33,959 --> 00:26:35,426 # Power # 493 00:26:40,499 --> 00:26:42,433 # I've got the power # 494 00:26:42,501 --> 00:26:44,335 # Power # 495 00:26:45,304 --> 00:26:47,905 Am I dreaming? - # I've got the power... # 496 00:26:47,973 --> 00:26:50,942 - Is this happening? - But... why? 497 00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:56,380 Coach Beiste kicked me off the football team. 498 00:26:57,731 --> 00:27:01,152 I'm not the quarterback anymore, which... means I'm nothing. 499 00:27:02,621 --> 00:27:06,657 - I miss being popular. - This is really embarrassing. 500 00:27:06,725 --> 00:27:11,596 I have really great leadership skills, and, uh, I'm athletic, 501 00:27:11,663 --> 00:27:13,531 so I could help with the lifts and stuff. 502 00:27:15,901 --> 00:27:18,369 I hope you'll consider me. 503 00:27:19,437 --> 00:27:21,038 Why would he get kicked off the football team? 504 00:27:21,106 --> 00:27:24,308 Finn was just trying to help out his handicapable friend! 505 00:27:24,376 --> 00:27:25,877 He was insubordinate twice. 506 00:27:25,944 --> 00:27:30,342 I'm the captain of the USS Kick Ass, not the USS Back Talk. 507 00:27:30,983 --> 00:27:34,018 Please, Coach, don't do this to me. I need football. It's who I am. 508 00:27:34,086 --> 00:27:36,788 I thought you were the Glee guy. I mean, what with all 509 00:27:36,855 --> 00:27:39,732 - the sign-up sheets you put in my locker room. Finn is a really good kid. 510 00:27:39,956 --> 00:27:41,325 Give him a chance to show you. 511 00:27:41,393 --> 00:27:43,795 You mean don't make a snap judgment about him? 512 00:27:44,091 --> 00:27:47,732 Don't make his life miserable because I assume he's a certain way? 513 00:27:48,412 --> 00:27:51,235 Okay, I get it. This is about me. 514 00:27:51,303 --> 00:27:52,703 I haven't been very welcoming, 515 00:27:52,771 --> 00:27:55,473 but please, please, don't take this out on Finn. 516 00:27:55,541 --> 00:27:56,941 Am I through here, Principal Figgins? 517 00:27:57,009 --> 00:28:05,216 Mm-hmm. 518 00:28:05,284 --> 00:28:07,985 A little bird told me that someone spent her summer vacation 519 00:28:08,053 --> 00:28:09,754 getting a brand-new set of melons, 520 00:28:09,822 --> 00:28:11,622 even though you know I have a very strict 521 00:28:11,690 --> 00:28:13,858 no plastics policy in 'Cheerios!'. 522 00:28:14,397 --> 00:28:17,862 - Care to comment? - I just... 523 00:28:17,930 --> 00:28:20,731 What would possess a person your age to get a boob job? 524 00:28:21,710 --> 00:28:23,434 You don't even know what your body's going to look like. 525 00:28:23,502 --> 00:28:26,604 It's an insult to nature and completely distracting. 526 00:28:27,310 --> 00:28:30,141 I can't take my eyes off them. I'm actually talking to them 527 00:28:30,209 --> 00:28:32,877 - right now. - I wanted people to notice me more. 528 00:28:32,945 --> 00:28:36,347 - I don't get what the big deal is. - Well, the big deal is that a person 529 00:28:36,415 --> 00:28:37,825 who has to pump her nonnies full of gravy 530 00:28:37,826 --> 00:28:40,184 to feel good about herself clearly doesn't have 531 00:28:40,252 --> 00:28:41,948 the self-esteem to be my head cheerleader. 532 00:28:43,555 --> 00:28:46,891 - Quinn will replace you. - What did...? 533 00:28:46,959 --> 00:28:51,229 And Boobs McGee? You're demoted to the bottom of the pyramid, 534 00:28:51,296 --> 00:28:53,764 so when it collapses, your exploding 535 00:28:53,832 --> 00:28:56,715 sandbags will protect the squad from injury. 536 00:28:58,749 --> 00:29:02,073 Now take your juicy, vine-ripened chest fruit 537 00:29:02,140 --> 00:29:03,708 and get the hell out of my office. 538 00:29:29,868 --> 00:29:33,504 You did this to me. 539 00:29:33,572 --> 00:29:35,573 You told Coach Sylvester about my summer surgery! 540 00:29:35,641 --> 00:29:37,608 You have a surgery when you get your appendix out. 541 00:29:37,676 --> 00:29:39,744 - You got a boob job. - Yup, sure did. 542 00:29:39,811 --> 00:29:41,412 You can't hit me. 543 00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:45,240 Oh, sure I can, unless you got yourself knocked up again, slut. 544 00:29:46,018 --> 00:29:50,121 Stop the violence. 545 00:29:50,622 --> 00:29:52,256 Hey, hey, what is this?! 546 00:29:52,324 --> 00:29:54,125 Stop it. What happened to us being a family? Hey. 547 00:29:54,192 --> 00:29:56,394 Oh, please. Stop that. She has a family. She's a mother. 548 00:29:56,461 --> 00:29:57,762 Walk away. Hey! 549 00:29:57,829 --> 00:30:00,097 And tighten up your pony before you get to class! 550 00:30:12,884 --> 00:30:17,220 Well, hate to break it to you, 551 00:30:17,288 --> 00:30:18,689 but it doesn't look like anyone's gonna be joining us, 552 00:30:18,756 --> 00:30:20,190 so I think we should just call it a day. 553 00:30:20,258 --> 00:30:21,858 We said 3:00 to 5:00. It's only 4:58. 554 00:30:22,170 --> 00:30:23,994 Just wait. My buddy Sam's gonna try out. 555 00:30:24,062 --> 00:30:26,263 - He totally idolizes me. - Oh, face it, Finn. 556 00:30:26,331 --> 00:30:28,932 You're no longer the quarterback. You're not the Pied Piper anymore. 557 00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:31,935 No one's gonna follow you around thinking everything you do is cool. 558 00:30:32,003 --> 00:30:35,339 What about that Sunshine girl? I thought you said she could sing. 559 00:30:35,406 --> 00:30:37,774 I guess she didn't want to hang out with us losers. 560 00:30:42,847 --> 00:30:47,283 Show us on the doll where Coach Beiste touched you. 561 00:30:49,053 --> 00:30:53,957 - Here and here. - This is outrageous. 562 00:30:54,025 --> 00:30:56,626 I'll say. Anyone who would prey on someone 563 00:30:56,694 --> 00:30:58,561 as sweet and simple as poor, poor Brittany 564 00:30:58,629 --> 00:31:00,096 deserves everything that's coming to her. 565 00:31:00,164 --> 00:31:03,433 I suggest immediate termination and entry into the statewide 566 00:31:03,501 --> 00:31:06,836 - sex offender database. - Sorry I'm late. 567 00:31:06,904 --> 00:31:10,674 - What's going on? - Brittany here has accused Coach Beiste 568 00:31:10,741 --> 00:31:13,309 of inappropriate touching. 569 00:31:13,377 --> 00:31:15,490 What?! Brittany, that's 570 00:31:15,491 --> 00:31:18,700 - a serious accusation. - It's very serious. 571 00:31:23,187 --> 00:31:26,856 Brittany, what you're saying could ruin somebody's life. 572 00:31:26,924 --> 00:31:29,837 It's really important that you tell the truth here. 573 00:31:31,910 --> 00:31:35,465 I made it up. Coach Beiste didn't touch my boobs. 574 00:31:35,533 --> 00:31:38,668 Actually, I really want to touch her boobs. 575 00:31:39,537 --> 00:31:40,937 If you're all done 576 00:31:41,005 --> 00:31:43,506 wasting my time, I have a football team to coach. 577 00:31:43,574 --> 00:31:46,409 Coach... 578 00:31:51,090 --> 00:31:52,115 You're weak, Will! 579 00:31:52,183 --> 00:31:53,550 - You know what, Sue? - Mr. Shue? 580 00:31:53,617 --> 00:31:56,653 Can we talk to you? It's kind of important. 581 00:32:04,628 --> 00:32:07,297 - Tell me this isn't true, Rachel. - She could have died. 582 00:32:07,364 --> 00:32:10,233 I didn't send her to an active crack house. 583 00:32:10,301 --> 00:32:12,001 Besides, how did you guys find out anyways? 584 00:32:12,069 --> 00:32:14,571 - The Asian community is very tight. - I just don't get it. 585 00:32:14,638 --> 00:32:17,073 - You're better than this. - No, she's an ambitious little freak 586 00:32:17,141 --> 00:32:18,608 who will do anything to hold on to her power. 587 00:32:18,676 --> 00:32:21,611 I just... I... I love you guys so much. 588 00:32:22,713 --> 00:32:25,081 I was wrong before. I don't want any 589 00:32:25,149 --> 00:32:28,952 new members. I didn't want anyone coming in 590 00:32:29,019 --> 00:32:31,121 a... And messing up our group dynamic. 591 00:32:31,188 --> 00:32:34,357 Tina, Mike, I mean, what if Sunshine can dance? 592 00:32:34,425 --> 00:32:36,926 Then your contributions to Glee will be even more insignificant 593 00:32:36,994 --> 00:32:40,296 than they already are now. I did this for you guys. 594 00:32:42,733 --> 00:32:47,973 Whatever your motivations, you need to make this right, Rachel. 595 00:32:54,245 --> 00:32:56,880 I'm sorry for sending you to that crack house. 596 00:32:56,947 --> 00:33:00,183 They stole my sheet music and used it for toilet paper. 597 00:33:00,251 --> 00:33:04,287 Look, I'll buy you a new set. You can just, um, come pick it up 598 00:33:04,355 --> 00:33:06,122 at the auditorium at 4:00 tomorrow. 599 00:33:14,098 --> 00:33:16,933 Hi, I'm Sunshine Corazon, and I'll be singing "Listen" 600 00:33:17,001 --> 00:33:18,635 from the movie "Dreamgirls". 601 00:33:18,702 --> 00:33:21,971 - Broadway show first. - Shh... Shut up. 602 00:33:24,475 --> 00:33:28,244 # Listen # 603 00:33:28,312 --> 00:33:31,748 # To the song here in my heart # 604 00:33:31,816 --> 00:33:35,685 # A melody I start # 605 00:33:35,753 --> 00:33:40,123 # But can't complete # 606 00:33:40,191 --> 00:33:43,126 # Listen # 607 00:33:43,194 --> 00:33:47,463 # To the sound from deep within # 608 00:33:47,531 --> 00:33:50,500 # It's only beginning # 609 00:33:50,568 --> 00:33:54,671 # To find release # 610 00:33:54,738 --> 00:33:57,607 # Oh, the time has come # 611 00:33:57,675 --> 00:34:00,210 # For my dreams to be heard # 612 00:34:00,277 --> 00:34:04,113 # They will not be pushed aside and turned # 613 00:34:04,181 --> 00:34:05,815 # Into your own # 614 00:34:05,883 --> 00:34:11,387 # All 'cause you won't listen # 615 00:34:11,455 --> 00:34:13,623 # Listen # 616 00:34:13,691 --> 00:34:17,493 # I am alone at the crossroads # 617 00:34:17,561 --> 00:34:20,697 # I'm not at home in my own home # 618 00:34:20,764 --> 00:34:22,632 # And I've tried and tried # 619 00:34:22,700 --> 00:34:24,901 # To say what's on my mind # 620 00:34:24,969 --> 00:34:27,170 # You should have known # 621 00:34:27,238 --> 00:34:32,709 # Oh, now I'm done believin' you # 622 00:34:32,776 --> 00:34:35,378 # You don't know what I'm feelin' # 623 00:34:35,446 --> 00:34:38,281 # I'm more than what you made of me # 624 00:34:38,349 --> 00:34:42,886 # I followed the voice you gave to me # 625 00:34:42,953 --> 00:34:46,723 # But now I gotta find my own # 626 00:34:46,790 --> 00:34:50,260 # I don't know where I belong # 627 00:34:50,327 --> 00:34:54,697 # But I'll be movin' on # 628 00:34:54,765 --> 00:34:59,168 # If you don't # 629 00:34:59,236 --> 00:35:02,605 # If you won't # 630 00:35:02,673 --> 00:35:05,775 # Listen # 631 00:35:05,843 --> 00:35:09,646 # To the song here in my heart # 632 00:35:09,713 --> 00:35:12,615 # A melody I start # 633 00:35:12,683 --> 00:35:16,953 # But I will complete # 634 00:35:17,021 --> 00:35:19,789 # Oh # 635 00:35:19,857 --> 00:35:22,759 # Now I'm done believin' you # 636 00:35:22,826 --> 00:35:25,762 # You don't know what I'm feelin' # 637 00:35:25,829 --> 00:35:29,399 # I'm more than what you made of me # 638 00:35:29,466 --> 00:35:33,469 # I followed the voice you think you gave to me # 639 00:35:33,537 --> 00:35:37,473 # But now I gotta find # 640 00:35:37,541 --> 00:35:40,710 # My own... # 641 00:35:40,778 --> 00:35:47,583 # My own. # 642 00:35:52,890 --> 00:35:54,824 - Bravo! - Wow. 643 00:35:54,892 --> 00:35:56,993 Um... 644 00:35:57,061 --> 00:36:00,563 Welcome to the Glee Club. 645 00:36:00,631 --> 00:36:03,666 Thank you. Amazing. Thank you. 646 00:36:08,749 --> 00:36:14,854 Do you mind if I join you? Okay. 647 00:36:18,025 --> 00:36:21,560 Look, I really owe you an apology. 648 00:36:21,628 --> 00:36:24,497 I guess I kicked this year off thinking that all of us 649 00:36:24,564 --> 00:36:26,493 in the Glee Club weren't outcasts anymore, 650 00:36:26,528 --> 00:36:29,065 and I thought we'd be turning kids away. 651 00:36:29,936 --> 00:36:32,738 And then when no one signed up for the club, 652 00:36:32,806 --> 00:36:37,382 I realized that we were still at the bottom... outsiders. 653 00:36:38,412 --> 00:36:40,678 And that's how I made you feel. 654 00:36:42,349 --> 00:36:47,453 - I'm sorry. - Thank you. 655 00:36:47,521 --> 00:36:51,223 William, Beiste, 656 00:36:51,291 --> 00:36:53,893 I wanted to make a peace offering with a batch of 657 00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:59,098 - warm, homemade cookies. - Oh, those smell like dog poop. 658 00:36:59,166 --> 00:37:01,033 Are those dog poop cookies? 659 00:37:01,101 --> 00:37:03,936 No, that's the flaxseed oil you're smelling. 660 00:37:04,004 --> 00:37:05,805 These are heart-healthy cookies for some of our 661 00:37:05,872 --> 00:37:10,376 - burlier Americans. - Sue, we're not going to do this anymore. 662 00:37:11,534 --> 00:37:16,158 Are you turning on me in public? 663 00:37:16,616 --> 00:37:19,151 The two of you are making a very serious mistake today, 664 00:37:19,219 --> 00:37:21,754 the likes of which have not been seen since the Mexican Indians 665 00:37:21,822 --> 00:37:26,358 sold Manhattan to George Washington for an upskirt photo of Betsy Ross. 666 00:37:34,167 --> 00:37:37,970 Hey, man, uh, why didn't you show at the audition? 667 00:37:38,038 --> 00:37:43,205 I wanted to, I did, but after what Coach Beiste did to you... 668 00:37:44,077 --> 00:37:46,145 Do you know how everybody talks about you Glee guys? 669 00:37:46,213 --> 00:37:50,390 - Oh, yeah, you get used to all that. - Finn, I'm, I'm the new guy. 670 00:37:50,425 --> 00:37:52,752 That means I'm already on the outside looking in. 671 00:37:52,819 --> 00:37:54,920 I don't want to start off three touchdowns behind. 672 00:37:54,988 --> 00:37:57,590 I got to go. 673 00:37:57,657 --> 00:37:59,325 Coach Beiste makes us do a hundred push-ups 674 00:37:59,392 --> 00:38:04,130 for every minute we're late, so... 675 00:38:04,197 --> 00:38:06,599 Yeah, you made the team, that's cool. What position? 676 00:38:06,666 --> 00:38:08,501 Quarterback. 677 00:38:14,908 --> 00:38:17,076 - Excuse me, Sunshine. - Hi, I'd like to officially 678 00:38:17,144 --> 00:38:18,377 welcome you aboard 679 00:38:18,445 --> 00:38:19,879 and give you our Glee Club fall rehearsal schedule. 680 00:38:19,946 --> 00:38:24,450 - She won't be joining your Glee Club. - Oh, are you her dad? 681 00:38:24,518 --> 00:38:27,286 Her director. Dustin Goolsby, 682 00:38:27,354 --> 00:38:30,022 new coach of Vocal Adrenaline. 683 00:38:30,090 --> 00:38:33,387 Oh, and they gave me and my mom a condo and a green card. 684 00:38:34,561 --> 00:38:36,686 How did you even find out about her? Hey, Will, 685 00:38:36,689 --> 00:38:37,730 I went ahead and made that phone call. 686 00:38:37,798 --> 00:38:39,498 Should have gone along with the poop cookies. 687 00:38:39,566 --> 00:38:41,934 I actually would have stayed here, but I think 688 00:38:42,002 --> 00:38:44,570 Rachel would have made my life a living hell. 689 00:38:44,605 --> 00:38:47,730 I just didn't trust her after she sent me to a crack house. 690 00:38:47,765 --> 00:38:50,475 Not cool. It was nice to meet you. 691 00:39:10,063 --> 00:39:11,664 What did they say? 692 00:39:11,731 --> 00:39:15,267 Well, I talked 'em out of giving you a "code red. " 693 00:39:15,335 --> 00:39:17,937 They were pissed, and they had the right to be. 694 00:39:18,004 --> 00:39:19,772 What you did was bad, Rachel. 695 00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:21,974 We could have used Sunshine to beat Vocal Adrenaline, 696 00:39:22,042 --> 00:39:26,412 - and now they're just that much stronger. - Just do it already. What? 697 00:39:26,479 --> 00:39:28,047 Break up with me. 698 00:39:28,114 --> 00:39:29,882 Okay, we both knew it was just a matter of time. 699 00:39:29,950 --> 00:39:33,419 I think you're forgetting I'm not the quarterback anymore. 700 00:39:33,486 --> 00:39:36,288 I'm just another Glee loser now. 701 00:39:36,356 --> 00:39:38,776 Fact is, you should be breaking up with me. 702 00:39:42,529 --> 00:39:48,368 - I'll never break up with you. - Me, neither. 703 00:39:57,677 --> 00:40:00,145 I did it for the team, you know. 704 00:40:00,213 --> 00:40:03,115 I just, I-I love everybody so much, 705 00:40:03,183 --> 00:40:05,517 I didn't want anyone else coming in and interfering. 706 00:40:05,585 --> 00:40:10,222 You got to stop saying that, Rachel. I care about you and everything, 707 00:40:10,290 --> 00:40:11,957 but you got to admit the truth. 708 00:40:13,451 --> 00:40:15,324 You didn't do this because you love Glee Club. 709 00:40:15,325 --> 00:40:16,979 You did it because you love yourself more. 710 00:40:18,771 --> 00:40:20,032 Okay. 711 00:40:20,100 --> 00:40:22,611 I didn't want anyone else hogging my spotlight. 712 00:40:22,646 --> 00:40:25,571 Okay, I love it too much to let it go that easy. 713 00:40:29,242 --> 00:40:31,308 Do you think that they'll ever forgive me? 714 00:40:31,343 --> 00:40:32,811 They'll come around. 715 00:40:34,047 --> 00:40:36,715 I think apologizing would be a good start. 716 00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:44,940 - Where are you going? - The auditorium. 717 00:40:45,725 --> 00:40:48,494 I just need some alone time first. 718 00:40:50,730 --> 00:40:55,501 # Kiss today good-bye # 719 00:40:57,537 --> 00:41:02,741 # The sweetness and the sorrow # 720 00:41:04,511 --> 00:41:06,078 # Wish me luck # 721 00:41:06,146 --> 00:41:14,620 # The same to you # 722 00:41:14,688 --> 00:41:17,923 # But I can't regret # 723 00:41:17,991 --> 00:41:26,699 # What I did for love # 724 00:41:28,535 --> 00:41:30,869 # Look, my eyes # 725 00:41:30,937 --> 00:41:34,440 # Are dry # 726 00:41:34,507 --> 00:41:37,042 # The gift was ours # 727 00:41:37,110 --> 00:41:41,647 # To borrow # 728 00:41:41,715 --> 00:41:46,285 # Oh, it's as if we always # 729 00:41:46,353 --> 00:41:50,756 # Knew # 730 00:41:50,824 --> 00:41:54,259 # And I won't forget # 731 00:41:54,327 --> 00:42:04,236 # What I did for love # 732 00:42:04,304 --> 00:42:08,440 # Gone # 733 00:42:08,508 --> 00:42:10,275 # Love is # 734 00:42:10,343 --> 00:42:14,913 # Never gone # 735 00:42:14,981 --> 00:42:17,082 # As we travel # 736 00:42:17,150 --> 00:42:21,553 # On # 737 00:42:21,621 --> 00:42:27,626 # Love's what we'll remember # 738 00:42:27,694 --> 00:42:30,095 # Kiss today # 739 00:42:30,163 --> 00:42:33,966 # Good-bye # 740 00:42:34,034 --> 00:42:36,135 # And point me toward # 741 00:42:36,202 --> 00:42:39,872 # Tomorrow # 742 00:42:39,939 --> 00:42:41,874 # Oh, we did what # 743 00:42:41,941 --> 00:42:48,881 # We had to do... # 744 00:42:48,948 --> 00:42:54,119 # Oh, won't forget, can't regret # 745 00:42:54,187 --> 00:42:57,856 # What I did for # 746 00:42:57,924 --> 00:43:01,393 # Love # 747 00:43:01,461 --> 00:43:03,962 # What I did for # 748 00:43:04,030 --> 00:43:07,599 # Love # 749 00:43:07,667 --> 00:43:09,735 # What I did # 750 00:43:09,803 --> 00:43:12,871 # For # 751 00:43:12,939 --> 00:43:18,911 # Love. #