Sorry, Your Brilliance.
Let's check the Tyranny-At-A-Glance calendar.
You've got rust removal from 9:00 to 10:00,
general villainy till noon, and then...
Huh?
Loki!
Oh, it wasn't low-key for me.
Abomination, you fool!
Loki is Thor's wicked half-brother.
And this is your Loki day,
because I've got a plan to help you conquer Asgard.
Stop, you in the helmet... You are not on my schedule.
Wait!
I am now.
What do you say, Doomie? Feel like owning a kingdom?
Your enthusiasm intrigues me,
but your plan is foolish.
How would attacking Asgard help I, Doom, destroy Super Hero City?
Oh, you want a demo.
All right, all right.
Okay, boys. Attack me.
-Really? -Really?
-May we.
May we? May we?
Come on.
Give it your best shot.
Oh!
Ha! Got your nose.
But how will I smell?
Terrible.
Your henchmen are a joke.
Asgard is full of genuine, supremely powerful,
unbelievable mystical beings, just like me.
Conquer them, and you'll be unstoppable.
Perhaps, trickster. Yet if your people are so powerful,
how can I, Doom, defeat them?
Ah, leave that to little old me.
I just need to borrow some of your bad guys for a while.
Very well.
But know this, I, Doom, will be watching you.
Loki.
Hm, can't blame you.
I am very watchable.
Hey, guy, I gave MODOK your nose.
Huh?
Borrow Doom's army, check.
Take over my homeland, check.
Now, just got to bring an end to Thor.
Hey, what are brothers for?
With that Infinity Sword, I will rule the universe.
All right, Squaddies! Time to Hero Up!
I hate those Squaddies!
Damelo . Give it to me. I can make the shot.
Falcon, I'm open. Give me the ball.
Banana peels! Coffee grinds.
Used toilet paper. Is that correct, Thor?
Mayhap, thou should leave the trash-talking to me.
Watch Thor bring the hurt.
Zounds, knave!
Callst you that a defense?
Hey, we're on the same team.
Then why are you such a ball hog?
-Hey. -Ah, huh.
Ah, huh.
Hulk don't understand.
-Hey!
Is being bird-brained part of your powers?
No, but now I know why dinosaurs are extinct.
Oh, muy caliente.
Hey!
We never finished the game.
Game over. Hulk win!
Come in, Helicarrier.
Helicarrier, this is Iron Man. Come in, Helicarrier.
We're here, Iron Man. Go ahead.
I'm picking up some readings from my on-board computer.
There's a decrease of organic forms in VillainVille.
And we care because?
Because nobody's guarding Doom's fractal stash.
It's the perfect time to attack and free them from Doomie's clutches.
Hulk grab. Hulk break!
Yeah, that's the enthusiasm I like to hear.
I'll contact S.H.I.E.L.D. You all Hero Up and meet me there.
Iron Man out.
What Shellhead said. Let's Hero Up!
Ah. I've pinpointed the fractals' location
to somewhere behind this force field.
Unfortunately, it's a very forceful force field.
You're just in time to help me test Stark Industries' line of siege weaponry.
A wonderful idea, Iron Man.
I have inventions of my own to test.
I call this visitor repellent.
Tell me if it works.
Look at that baby smash.
Hulk smash.
Yeah, but what makes my machine better than you, Hulk, is...
Machine better smash than Hulk?
No power like Hulk power!
Aha! Oh, really?
You think you can outdo my technology?
It's a bet.
We'll see who causes the most damage.
I say we quit talking about damage
and do some already!
Raptor claws!
Vile blunderbuss, cannon of evil, thou shalt blast no more!
Thor, look out!
-Sif!
-Ah, ha, ha.
-Is she working for Doom? -And is she single?
By Volstagg's jiggly girth,
'tis good to see you!
Pray, what brings thee to Midgard?
Better yet, what is Midgard?
I believe it is Earth.
Or perhaps deodorant.
We have much to speak of, most gallant Thor.
Strange foes attack Asgard.
Your father, Odin, requests you return.
Hast thou fighters enough?
Yeah. Between Hulk's strength factor and the Surfer's energy factor,
we're more than covered.
Tell your dad, I said hi.
In that case, I'm going too.
-Count me in. -Me, too.
-I called it first. -In what alternate dimension?
Thor needs full Squad members only.
Who's giving me a ride?
Ah, sweet Bifrost.
Beef roast? I'm more of a burger guy.
Surely you know Bifrost is the rainbow bridge to Asgard.
Bridge? We can't walk on this.
Nay, lest door-to-door salesmen wander where they should not.
Qué pasó , Falcon? What's the matter?
Too chicken to cross the road?
None shall pass.
Back off, helmet head. We're here on official business.
Cool thine jets, lads.
That is Heimdall, noisy next-door neighbor of Thor.
And a friend.
Let me do the talking.
Thor, Odin's great hall is besieged.
We're overrun by frost giants.
I have not seen the like since Odin gave them
a surprise housewarming party.
'Tis grim news, indeed.
And about to get grimmer.
For them, I mean. Not us.
Well said. Gird thy loins, friends.
Do we have to?
My mystical place of wonder, my rules.
Hey, those are Doom's thugs.
Why would they be attacking this place?
'Tis hammer time.
For Odin! For Asgard!
Onward!
Hang tight, Goldilocks.
Cavalry's coming.
Cavalry's not going anywhere.
Aw, Sabretooth.
What a nice surprise.
And it's not even my birthday.
Doesn't mean I can't smack you around like a piñata.
Hey, Falcon, Reptil, go back up Thor.
No, I'm good. I got it.
I don't think he needs us.
-Yah! Yah! Yah!
Embrace your doom, foul beasts.
The heroes of Asgard stand ready with arms of cold steel.
Onward!
Ankylosaurus tail!
That's one for me.
Keep up. I'll fly circles around you.
No way you're outdoing me!
Reptil! Falcon!
Ah, forget it.
I've calculated the air resistance and velocity
for maximum impact.
Impressive damage.
Hulk turn.
Even better.
It seems the Hulk has improved on your technology.
Oh, yeah? Let's see if the Hulk can improve
on my adamantium optic drill.
Drill reminds Hulk of dentist!
-Smash dentist! -Hulk, don't!
Aw!
Hey, nine out of ten billionaires recommend you don't break their stuff.
Well, at least it was insured.
Why is it called a battering ram?
I see no sheep here.
Anti-cosmic.
An energy surge is building behind that force field.
Iron Man not trick Hulk.
Hulk win.
Hulk, it's a trap. Hulk, stop!
Hulk, you okay?
Say a few monosyllables, buddy.
Next time, machine go first.
We have broken through.
You're welcome.
-For Asgard!
Ha!
Argh. It's never fair when my brother shows up to play.
Better even the odds.
What new trouble is this?
The worst kind, I fear.
Family trouble.
Says thou!
Uh-oh.
Oh, brother.
How good to see you.
Yes. Would I could say the same, brother,
yet I know you are behind this attack.
Father Odin summoned me to stop you,
and stop you I shall.
Oh, sure! Odin always liked you best.
Thor is a baby, Thor is a baby!
You don't even have a real weapon! What are you going to do?
Build me a tree house with your hammer?
Oh, scary.
Dost thou make mockery at me? Well, dost?
Bro, seriously,
when art thou going to stop talking like that?
Really, we're in the 21st century.
I warn thee, base sibling, take it back!
I know you are, but what am I?
Strange weather we're having.
That's one for me, Falcon.
Now you're taking credit for the weather?
Well, at least I don't attack by pooping on people.
Hey, you leave Redwing out of this.
Ew, did he just poop on me?
Come on, work together, you blasted rookies.
Ow.
Uh, what is that?
Where's Wolverine? What did you do to him?
That? That's Wolverine.
A real wolverine, to be exact.
Oh.
I thought it was just a super-stinky dog.
Well, whatever it is,
it's going to be really easy to finish off.
Ah, get it off!
Get it off! It bites!
Hey! Blasted ankle-biting wolverine!
Brachiosaurus neck!
Reptil, grab Wolverine.
Get it off, get it off!
Hey, not bad.
Not as stylish as I would have done it...
Thanks. Guess we're an okay team,
especially when you're the one holding Wolverine.
He stinks.
-Yeah. Tell me about it.
Speaking of teams, where's Thor?
I know you are, but...
I be rubber, thou art glue.
Whatever thou speaketh doth bounce off me and cleave to you!
Hey, didn't you bring a guy with long metal claws with you?
Yea, 'tis my ally Wolverine.
Most weak.
Disappearing is cheating!
Yeah, I know. Nice doggy.
Ah, you've got something I'm looking for.
Stop him! That arrowhead's got a fractal in it!
Hey, you're smarter than you smell.
A seeker spell told me that one of these fractals
had landed in the frost giant armory,
and the whole scheme just came to me.
See you, suckers!
I really hate that trickster punk.
Dude, the fractal in that arrowhead turned you into what your name is,
from Wolverine to a wolverine.
Man, hate to see that happen to Storm or Nightcrawler.
Lo, I am shamed.
I did not see through my brother's plan.
'Twas the fractal he always desired.
And he started a war to flush it out.
My deepest regrets for abandoning you, my brothers-in-arms.
It's okay. It happens.
Yeah, we might know a little something about that.
Sounds like you learned something.
Maybe this wasn't a total failure.
Aye. Then let us clasp our weapons in a manly manner
and wreak destruction upon our enemies.
Manly!
So, ready to work together?
Hey, that's what being teammates is all about.
Of course, I can still take down more frost giants than you can.
Yeah. Oh, it's brought.
Wake up! Wake up, you idiots!
Your Brilliance, I'm sorry to interrupt.
I know it's your Pilates day, but...
You have bad news.
Uh, well, bad is a negative term.
It's a glass half full thing, really.
Mm. You have been defeated, and Loki has double-crossed us.
-How did you know that? -This ain't my first time at the rodeo.
I have an accessory for every occasion.
Let us see if Loki does, too.
This energy signature is strange.
Almost as though we were in a dimensional transport.
Hulk smash.
So then, I wiped the floor with my brother.
Really, Thor's not that strong.
I am much more powerful and better-looking, I must say.
So, while Thor, the bore, and his little hero friends
are down for the count,
I steal an Infinity fractal
right out from under his Norse nose.
Uh, excuse you.
I was talking.
And we were listening.
But now, Hulk smashing.