1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:08,291 Ah! It's just not fair! 2 00:00:08,375 --> 00:00:09,625 What not fair? 3 00:00:09,709 --> 00:00:11,542 This whole thing with Scarlet Witch. 4 00:00:12,041 --> 00:00:14,625 Come on, Reptil. Quit being such a sore lizard. 5 00:00:16,875 --> 00:00:20,625 Oh, Hulk sick and tired of lobster belly-aching. 6 00:00:22,542 --> 00:00:24,041 Tyrannosaurus-Rex. 7 00:00:28,166 --> 00:00:29,875 I've been here longer than she has. 8 00:00:32,834 --> 00:00:35,709 So why did she get to be a full-time Squaddie before me? 9 00:00:35,792 --> 00:00:37,166 You haven't figured it out yet? 10 00:00:37,250 --> 00:00:39,583 Even Hulk knows. Tell him, greenbean. 11 00:00:39,667 --> 00:00:41,208 -Hulk? 12 00:00:43,333 --> 00:00:44,375 Hulk? 13 00:00:45,792 --> 00:00:46,709 Where did he go? 14 00:00:56,166 --> 00:00:58,500 -Hey, Wanda, you ready? -Almost. 15 00:00:58,583 --> 00:01:02,500 You like miniature golf, right? Wait until you try miniature bowling. 16 00:01:02,583 --> 00:01:04,083 It's so awesome. 17 00:01:04,166 --> 00:01:05,333 Sounds perfect. 18 00:01:05,417 --> 00:01:08,834 There's nothing worse than lugging around those big, heavy bowling balls. 19 00:01:19,250 --> 00:01:20,667 She'll be ready in a minute, Red Wing. 20 00:01:25,375 --> 00:01:27,583 Can't break the circuit, 21 00:01:27,667 --> 00:01:30,375 or we'll all be seeing Valhalla a lot sooner than we expected. 22 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:34,667 Thor, could you please re-route that current and hurry? 23 00:01:35,166 --> 00:01:36,291 The switch is on the wall. 24 00:01:36,375 --> 00:01:38,792 Yeah, by the ancient curse pole. 25 00:01:38,875 --> 00:01:40,458 That's a lot of switches. 26 00:01:42,625 --> 00:01:45,542 Um, uh, let's see. 27 00:01:45,625 --> 00:01:49,709 Eeny, meeny, miney, moeth. Uh! 28 00:01:53,709 --> 00:01:54,875 Iron Man? 29 00:01:59,709 --> 00:02:02,125 Uh, where Hulk? 30 00:02:03,125 --> 00:02:05,250 Uh-duh. 31 00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:09,458 Oh! Iron Man sound like Hulk. 32 00:02:09,542 --> 00:02:12,458 -We're in a pocket-dimensional rift. -Huh? 33 00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:14,542 Who are you? 34 00:02:14,625 --> 00:02:16,625 And how come you know so much? 35 00:02:17,208 --> 00:02:19,917 I know everything, I'm Nighthawk. 36 00:02:26,333 --> 00:02:32,375 With this Infinity Gauntlet, I, Thanos, will rule the universe! 37 00:02:32,458 --> 00:02:34,959 All right, Squaddies, time to hero up! 38 00:03:41,041 --> 00:03:44,917 Scarlet Witch was supposed to go. mini-bowling tonight. 39 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,208 And the green guy over there, 40 00:03:46,291 --> 00:03:49,458 he had something called Banana Whackies for breakfast. 41 00:03:49,542 --> 00:03:52,083 -Ooh! -And lunch and dinner. 42 00:03:54,417 --> 00:03:56,041 How can he know so much? 43 00:03:56,125 --> 00:04:00,041 And how him see with eyes all scrunched up like that? 44 00:04:00,125 --> 00:04:01,709 Good one, Hulk. 45 00:04:01,792 --> 00:04:04,583 Iron Man, aka Tony Stark, 46 00:04:04,667 --> 00:04:07,375 you regularly visit the following websites. 47 00:04:07,458 --> 00:04:08,583 Hey, hey! 48 00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:11,583 Hold it, Iron Man. 49 00:04:11,667 --> 00:04:14,709 You'll have your chance in a few minutes. 50 00:04:14,792 --> 00:04:17,458 Thanos, didn't get enough of us last time, huh? 51 00:04:17,542 --> 00:04:18,959 Quiet, Witch. 52 00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:21,458 No, I want to know what's going on here. 53 00:04:21,542 --> 00:04:25,083 I am Grandmaster, games man extraordinaire, 54 00:04:25,166 --> 00:04:28,875 and today, my team of heroes is going to face a team chosen by Thanos. 55 00:04:28,959 --> 00:04:30,500 That would be you three. 56 00:04:30,583 --> 00:04:32,834 Heroes fighting heroes? That's just a... 57 00:04:32,917 --> 00:04:36,250 -It's... fight time. 58 00:04:36,333 --> 00:04:39,250 Weighing in at a combined total of 550 pounds, 59 00:04:39,333 --> 00:04:40,750 and hailing from another dimension, 60 00:04:40,834 --> 00:04:43,583 where they are their universe's greatest heroes we have, 61 00:04:43,667 --> 00:04:46,375 the Squadron Supreme. 62 00:04:47,625 --> 00:04:49,709 Power Princess, whose energy devices 63 00:04:49,792 --> 00:04:53,041 will be matched against Scarlet Witch's energy factor. 64 00:04:53,125 --> 00:04:57,291 Nighthawk, whose awesome tech factor rivals the mighty Iron Man's. 65 00:04:57,375 --> 00:04:59,917 And Hyperion, whose strength factor means 66 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:04,750 he could run a train up a tall building without stopping once. 67 00:05:04,834 --> 00:05:08,208 Who big jaw fight? Oh! 68 00:05:09,041 --> 00:05:10,667 What if we don't want to? 69 00:05:11,875 --> 00:05:16,959 I won't send you back home, and I'm your only way out of here. 70 00:05:22,667 --> 00:05:26,542 So, what are we waiting for? Have a taste of my invisible shield, Witch. 71 00:05:36,917 --> 00:05:40,959 Et cetera. 72 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:45,417 No, no, no, not here! 73 00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:48,417 And not until I blow my whistle. 74 00:05:48,500 --> 00:05:52,500 Hulk not care what purple man blow. 75 00:05:55,458 --> 00:06:00,083 The battles will take place at three points on the Super Hero Squad's Earth. 76 00:06:00,166 --> 00:06:01,417 Ooh! 77 00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:05,000 I'm giving Thanos home dimension advantage. It's only fair. 78 00:06:05,083 --> 00:06:08,750 What do you know about fairness? What does anyone know? 79 00:06:08,834 --> 00:06:10,750 The things I have seen. 80 00:06:10,834 --> 00:06:13,709 Oh, when he gets going like that, there's no stopping him. 81 00:06:20,333 --> 00:06:23,041 Oh, please. He won't be able to focus. 82 00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:30,709 Mine's more experienced. They'll stomp yours into the ground. 83 00:06:30,792 --> 00:06:33,834 Okay, fine. So either way, I still win. 84 00:06:39,625 --> 00:06:42,834 Now you see him. Now you don't. 85 00:06:42,917 --> 00:06:44,041 Yeah, weird. 86 00:06:44,125 --> 00:06:45,834 What is it? Some kind of teleportation? 87 00:06:45,917 --> 00:06:51,000 'Tis magic. Wizardry! Iron Man hath also vanished, as if swept up by the Valkyries. 88 00:06:51,083 --> 00:06:54,208 Not such a bad way to go. And Falcon hath disappeared from his quarters. 89 00:06:54,291 --> 00:06:56,083 Hey, what about Scarlet Witch? 90 00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:59,125 Her voicemail doth answer. And frankly, I feel dissed. 91 00:06:59,208 --> 00:07:01,875 And they made her a Squaddie before me. 92 00:07:01,959 --> 00:07:04,166 A bad guy. A criminal. 93 00:07:06,709 --> 00:07:09,250 Will you please... Numbscale? 94 00:07:09,333 --> 00:07:11,083 Aah! Come on, Wanda. 95 00:07:11,166 --> 00:07:13,959 It doesn't even take Hulk this long to get ready. 96 00:07:14,041 --> 00:07:16,166 Then again, he doesn't smell as good as you. 97 00:07:16,250 --> 00:07:18,333 No, not nearly as good. Uh-oh. 98 00:07:28,875 --> 00:07:31,458 There she is, the Statue of Liberty. 99 00:07:31,542 --> 00:07:33,792 Symbol of everything my dimension holds dear. 100 00:07:33,875 --> 00:07:35,375 Don't call me "dear." 101 00:07:35,458 --> 00:07:38,625 Look, you and me, we stand for the same things. 102 00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:43,375 Rooting out the vermin that infests our cities? Choking it with your bare hands? 103 00:07:43,458 --> 00:07:47,500 -Okay. -If you're not with me, you're against me. 104 00:07:53,417 --> 00:07:54,583 Gotcha! 105 00:07:54,667 --> 00:07:56,125 I don't think so. 106 00:07:56,625 --> 00:07:58,792 Electrified grappler cable! 107 00:07:58,875 --> 00:08:02,583 You can put a fancy suit of armor on it, but it's still vermin. 108 00:08:09,250 --> 00:08:11,500 This like big sandbox. 109 00:08:11,583 --> 00:08:12,917 Hulk like! 110 00:08:15,583 --> 00:08:17,625 Ooh, big kitty! 111 00:08:18,959 --> 00:08:21,583 Hulk, listen to me. I can help you. 112 00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:25,041 Maybe find you a place on the Special Heroes Squad. 113 00:08:25,125 --> 00:08:26,583 You'll be happy there. 114 00:08:29,625 --> 00:08:32,333 You think you can damage this jaw? 115 00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:37,166 It hurts me to do this. 116 00:08:40,834 --> 00:08:45,166 Hulk, too! 117 00:08:55,208 --> 00:08:58,291 You know, we can be done with this if you just surrender to me. 118 00:08:58,375 --> 00:09:00,291 Unconditionally, of course. 119 00:09:00,375 --> 00:09:02,458 Me, surrender to you? 120 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:05,291 Listen lady, I might be a witch, but you're an epic... 121 00:09:22,875 --> 00:09:25,625 Some days, it just doesn't pay to turn good guy. 122 00:09:30,125 --> 00:09:33,083 Alert. Missing Squaddies found. 123 00:09:33,166 --> 00:09:35,959 Except, now, they're all over the world. Weird. 124 00:09:36,041 --> 00:09:38,917 This tracker will lead you to them. 125 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:42,000 -Hence, the name. -Huh, I can handle this, 126 00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:46,750 even though I'm not a full-time Squaddie yet, unlike certain people. 127 00:09:48,375 --> 00:09:51,083 Okay, last warning, Veloci-whiner. 128 00:09:52,667 --> 00:09:54,542 Oh. Oh, mine allies. 129 00:09:55,083 --> 00:09:58,542 See what Odin hath granted me, along with my fine new armor. 130 00:10:00,375 --> 00:10:02,625 Uh, it's just your hammer, Thor. 131 00:10:02,709 --> 00:10:06,875 Aye, 'tis, but now Mjolnir hath what men call an Easter egg. 132 00:10:06,959 --> 00:10:08,375 I can teleport. 133 00:10:10,083 --> 00:10:11,667 Linketh thine hands and... 134 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:14,542 -Uh, really? -No. 135 00:10:14,625 --> 00:10:18,166 -'Twould do well to read the instructions. 136 00:10:27,083 --> 00:10:30,709 Oh, tarry not, lest our friends meet an untimely fate. Come now. 137 00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:43,542 This is you getting back at me for that time 138 00:10:43,625 --> 00:10:46,375 I spit a sunflower seed into your hair, isn't it, Wanda? 139 00:10:46,458 --> 00:10:49,917 I was just compensating for all the teasing I used to get, that's all. 140 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,875 You know, the other kids would tickle me until I wet my pants. 141 00:10:53,709 --> 00:10:56,375 You know, I've never told anybody that before. 142 00:10:57,625 --> 00:11:00,083 I like how I can just open up to you like this. 143 00:11:01,333 --> 00:11:02,750 Ah, woo-song. 144 00:11:06,417 --> 00:11:07,917 Don't you ever give up? 145 00:11:09,041 --> 00:11:11,083 Thought you'd distract me, huh? 146 00:11:16,917 --> 00:11:18,917 You second-hand fiend. 147 00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:36,667 Get them off me. Get them off me. 148 00:11:40,041 --> 00:11:42,625 You're not vermin. You're just a clown. 149 00:11:43,125 --> 00:11:44,875 I hate clowns, too. 150 00:11:44,959 --> 00:11:48,750 Nighthawk, Don't you ever get tired of all this dark vengeancey stuff? 151 00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:52,542 Sometimes, but then I think of Tommy. 152 00:11:52,625 --> 00:11:56,875 Tommy? Your son? Your brother? Your rock opera? 153 00:11:56,959 --> 00:12:00,333 My tortoise, and my only friend. 154 00:12:00,417 --> 00:12:05,458 We'd go on long walks together. Very long walks. 155 00:12:05,542 --> 00:12:09,166 We were going to grow old together, him and me. 156 00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:12,333 But then, there were these punks in a stolen SUV. 157 00:12:12,417 --> 00:12:17,917 I-I should have had Tommy on a leash that day, but I was young, stupid. 158 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:22,041 Guilt, vengeance. You got all the bases covered, don't you? 159 00:12:22,125 --> 00:12:24,834 Don't you? Nothing like that ever happened to me. 160 00:12:24,917 --> 00:12:26,333 I just do this because... 161 00:12:26,417 --> 00:12:28,834 Well, because it's the right thing. 162 00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:32,750 Hey, doesn't that make me morally superior to you? 163 00:12:33,208 --> 00:12:34,375 Uh. 164 00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:37,750 This ends now. 165 00:12:56,834 --> 00:13:01,166 Didn't think I'd have an invisible, collapsible battering ram, did you? 166 00:13:18,875 --> 00:13:21,959 And have you forgotten my invisible shield so quickly? 167 00:13:31,333 --> 00:13:34,083 Hope you've got an invisible parachute, princess. 168 00:13:37,500 --> 00:13:40,375 Don't need one. Invisible mini-copter. 169 00:13:47,250 --> 00:13:50,875 Give up, Witch, or I'll crush you with my invisible steamroller. 170 00:13:51,458 --> 00:13:53,625 You're the one who needs to give up 171 00:13:53,709 --> 00:13:56,709 because-because I have an invisible sword 172 00:13:56,792 --> 00:14:00,417 that cuts right through invisible shields. Yeah. An invisible sword. 173 00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:02,667 Hah, you think I didn't plan for that? 174 00:14:02,750 --> 00:14:06,750 My shield is coated with invisible, sword-proof invisible paint. See? 175 00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:13,583 I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice. 176 00:14:13,667 --> 00:14:16,250 I'm going to have to use my invisible death ray on you. 177 00:14:17,208 --> 00:14:18,709 Invisible death ray? 178 00:14:18,792 --> 00:14:22,458 I-I have no counter-measure for that. 179 00:14:22,542 --> 00:14:25,792 I'm the one with no choice. 180 00:14:27,166 --> 00:14:29,500 That was me dropping my invisible shield. 181 00:14:45,875 --> 00:14:47,166 Listen to me. 182 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,750 -I don't like doing this. 183 00:15:48,625 --> 00:15:52,917 I've been holding back. I always hold back. Yeah! 184 00:15:55,333 --> 00:15:57,667 I-I can't. 185 00:16:06,458 --> 00:16:09,083 Why you do that to big kitty? 186 00:16:09,166 --> 00:16:11,792 It... No, it was an accident. 187 00:16:11,875 --> 00:16:14,166 This not going to be accident. 188 00:16:20,959 --> 00:16:22,542 Now, you fit right in. 189 00:16:23,959 --> 00:16:25,834 Bah, it can't be over. 190 00:16:25,917 --> 00:16:27,667 Come on, I wasn't even trying. 191 00:16:27,750 --> 00:16:28,875 Redo! 192 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,166 Gone. 193 00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:42,458 Huh? But they were here. 194 00:16:42,542 --> 00:16:43,792 Where to now? 195 00:16:44,500 --> 00:16:46,375 Oh, got another one. Quick. 196 00:16:56,792 --> 00:16:58,542 Man, not here either. 197 00:16:58,625 --> 00:17:00,542 But they were definitely here. 198 00:17:03,709 --> 00:17:06,542 Uh, maybe if I patch this scanner 199 00:17:06,625 --> 00:17:09,000 into Herbie's intergalactic rangefinder. 200 00:17:17,417 --> 00:17:20,208 And I said, "Pops, why do I have to do the yardwork? 201 00:17:20,291 --> 00:17:22,834 You're so good at it." 202 00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:25,542 And that's, uh, that's pretty much all I remember. 203 00:17:25,625 --> 00:17:27,959 Okay, we flash forward to when I was, uh, 14... 204 00:17:28,041 --> 00:17:31,917 Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. Did I tell you about the Frisbee I had one time? 205 00:17:35,083 --> 00:17:38,333 Well, Thanos, your team won fair and square. 206 00:17:38,959 --> 00:17:43,875 -Vermin. 207 00:17:44,583 --> 00:17:47,291 Though I suppose spoils go to the victor. 208 00:17:48,208 --> 00:17:50,250 My name's Thanos. Thanos! 209 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:54,333 Well, here you are, Thanos. 210 00:17:54,417 --> 00:17:59,625 Oh, the Mind Stone. Capable of increasing brain power beyond limit. 211 00:17:59,709 --> 00:18:02,625 I'll be able to access the deepest, darkest thoughts 212 00:18:02,709 --> 00:18:05,166 and dreams of other beings. 213 00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:08,333 Uh, Thanos? You know those dreams that I keep having? 214 00:18:08,417 --> 00:18:10,417 They don't mean anything, right? 215 00:18:10,500 --> 00:18:14,041 Why, soon, I'll have all the stones. 216 00:18:14,125 --> 00:18:15,917 Don't forget Mick Taylor. 217 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,542 Nobody ever remembers Mick Taylor. 218 00:18:17,625 --> 00:18:20,792 Fool! These Infinity Stones will give me the power 219 00:18:20,875 --> 00:18:25,125 to turn my entire universe into my very own toy box. 220 00:18:25,208 --> 00:18:28,625 And I wreck my toys for fun. 221 00:18:29,667 --> 00:18:32,041 Squaddies, time to hero up! 222 00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:48,709 Squadron Supreme, time to Hero Out! 223 00:18:48,792 --> 00:18:50,583 Uh, sorry, guys. No time. 224 00:18:50,667 --> 00:18:52,458 Aah, but you got to do yours. 225 00:18:52,542 --> 00:18:56,917 -It's our show. -Yeah. Get your own show, big jaw. 226 00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:58,792 Hmm. 227 00:18:58,875 --> 00:19:02,125 And I used to have one of those guns that would shoot marshmallows. 228 00:19:02,208 --> 00:19:05,750 But we had a dog, and instead of marshmallows... 229 00:19:05,834 --> 00:19:08,709 Aah, doesn't matter. It didn't even last me 20 minutes. 230 00:19:08,792 --> 00:19:11,083 Uh, Thanos? Uh-oh. 231 00:19:11,917 --> 00:19:13,208 Oh, you see this? 232 00:19:13,291 --> 00:19:15,291 It's the Time Stone. 233 00:19:15,375 --> 00:19:19,500 If you take another step, I'll send you all back to the Big Bang. 234 00:19:19,583 --> 00:19:22,375 -Huh, Hulk like explosions. 235 00:19:22,458 --> 00:19:25,208 Well, good for you because I'm gonna send you back there 236 00:19:25,291 --> 00:19:28,417 even if you don't take another step. 237 00:19:35,583 --> 00:19:36,709 Not so fast. 238 00:19:40,458 --> 00:19:41,625 Jackpot. 239 00:19:47,041 --> 00:19:48,500 Foul! 240 00:19:48,583 --> 00:19:50,083 Time out! 241 00:19:50,166 --> 00:19:52,458 This is unsanctioned competition. 242 00:19:52,542 --> 00:19:55,834 It's non-league play and beneath my notice. 243 00:19:55,917 --> 00:19:57,875 Blow it out your whistle, bub. 244 00:20:11,917 --> 00:20:13,291 Thanks, pal. 245 00:20:13,375 --> 00:20:17,667 And, uh, that whole dream thing, it'll be our little secret. 246 00:20:25,750 --> 00:20:26,959 Meant to do that. 247 00:20:29,375 --> 00:20:30,834 Uh, huh? 248 00:20:30,917 --> 00:20:33,000 Aah, where purple face? 249 00:20:33,083 --> 00:20:34,875 Purple face? 250 00:20:34,959 --> 00:20:36,166 Hulk coming! 251 00:20:43,291 --> 00:20:44,625 Oopsie. 252 00:20:52,875 --> 00:20:55,917 You're safe. You're safe. 253 00:20:56,583 --> 00:20:58,583 But who knows for how long? 254 00:20:58,667 --> 00:21:02,083 Yeah, this Thanos sicko is all about destruction. 255 00:21:02,166 --> 00:21:03,792 That much we know. 256 00:21:03,875 --> 00:21:07,041 If he gets the rest of those Infinity Stones, the universe is gone. 257 00:21:07,125 --> 00:21:10,875 Herbie, monitor the whole cosmos for any sign of the big purple guy. 258 00:21:10,959 --> 00:21:12,166 Galactus? 259 00:21:12,250 --> 00:21:14,750 Thanos, Herbie, Thanos. Active listening, remember? 260 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,417 Well, I'm not worried about either of them. 261 00:21:22,500 --> 00:21:24,417 I can handle anything that comes my way. 262 00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:28,875 Even if you did make Wanda a full-time Squaddie before moi. 263 00:21:29,375 --> 00:21:31,458 -Reptil! -She's older than you! 264 00:21:31,542 --> 00:21:32,750 Older! 265 00:21:32,834 --> 00:21:35,583 Duh, even Hulk know that. 266 00:21:35,667 --> 00:21:37,542 I'm sorry you had to wait, Falc, but... 267 00:21:37,625 --> 00:21:41,667 Ssh. You're a good listener, Wanda. And that's what really matters. 268 00:21:41,750 --> 00:21:43,333 Okay. 269 00:21:43,417 --> 00:21:45,083 Are we still mini-bowling?