1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:08,291
Ah! It's just not fair!
2
00:00:08,375 --> 00:00:09,625
What not fair?
3
00:00:09,709 --> 00:00:11,542
This whole thing
with Scarlet Witch.
4
00:00:12,041 --> 00:00:14,625
Come on, Reptil.
Quit being such a sore lizard.
5
00:00:16,875 --> 00:00:20,625
Oh, Hulk sick and tired
of lobster belly-aching.
6
00:00:22,542 --> 00:00:24,041
Tyrannosaurus-Rex.
7
00:00:28,166 --> 00:00:29,875
I've been here longer
than she has.
8
00:00:32,834 --> 00:00:35,709
So why did she get to be
a full-time Squaddie before me?
9
00:00:35,792 --> 00:00:37,166
You haven't figured it out yet?
10
00:00:37,250 --> 00:00:39,583
Even Hulk knows.
Tell him, greenbean.
11
00:00:39,667 --> 00:00:41,208
-Hulk?
12
00:00:43,333 --> 00:00:44,375
Hulk?
13
00:00:45,792 --> 00:00:46,709
Where did he go?
14
00:00:56,166 --> 00:00:58,500
-Hey, Wanda, you ready?
-Almost.
15
00:00:58,583 --> 00:01:02,500
You like miniature golf, right?
Wait until you try miniature bowling.
16
00:01:02,583 --> 00:01:04,083
It's so awesome.
17
00:01:04,166 --> 00:01:05,333
Sounds perfect.
18
00:01:05,417 --> 00:01:08,834
There's nothing worse than lugging around
those big, heavy bowling balls.
19
00:01:19,250 --> 00:01:20,667
She'll be ready in a minute,
Red Wing.
20
00:01:25,375 --> 00:01:27,583
Can't break the circuit,
21
00:01:27,667 --> 00:01:30,375
or we'll all be seeing Valhalla
a lot sooner than we expected.
22
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:34,667
Thor, could you please
re-route that current and hurry?
23
00:01:35,166 --> 00:01:36,291
The switch is on the wall.
24
00:01:36,375 --> 00:01:38,792
Yeah, by the ancient curse pole.
25
00:01:38,875 --> 00:01:40,458
That's a lot of switches.
26
00:01:42,625 --> 00:01:45,542
Um, uh, let's see.
27
00:01:45,625 --> 00:01:49,709
Eeny, meeny, miney, moeth. Uh!
28
00:01:53,709 --> 00:01:54,875
Iron Man?
29
00:01:59,709 --> 00:02:02,125
Uh, where Hulk?
30
00:02:03,125 --> 00:02:05,250
Uh-duh.
31
00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:09,458
Oh! Iron Man sound like Hulk.
32
00:02:09,542 --> 00:02:12,458
-We're in a pocket-dimensional rift.
-Huh?
33
00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:14,542
Who are you?
34
00:02:14,625 --> 00:02:16,625
And how come you know so much?
35
00:02:17,208 --> 00:02:19,917
I know everything, I'm Nighthawk.
36
00:02:26,333 --> 00:02:32,375
With this Infinity Gauntlet,
I, Thanos, will rule the universe!
37
00:02:32,458 --> 00:02:34,959
All right, Squaddies,
time to hero up!
38
00:03:41,041 --> 00:03:44,917
Scarlet Witch was supposed to go.
mini-bowling tonight.
39
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,208
And the green guy over there,
40
00:03:46,291 --> 00:03:49,458
he had something called
Banana Whackies for breakfast.
41
00:03:49,542 --> 00:03:52,083
-Ooh!
-And lunch and dinner.
42
00:03:54,417 --> 00:03:56,041
How can he know so much?
43
00:03:56,125 --> 00:04:00,041
And how him see with eyes
all scrunched up like that?
44
00:04:00,125 --> 00:04:01,709
Good one, Hulk.
45
00:04:01,792 --> 00:04:04,583
Iron Man, aka Tony Stark,
46
00:04:04,667 --> 00:04:07,375
you regularly visit
the following websites.
47
00:04:07,458 --> 00:04:08,583
Hey, hey!
48
00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:11,583
Hold it, Iron Man.
49
00:04:11,667 --> 00:04:14,709
You'll have your chance
in a few minutes.
50
00:04:14,792 --> 00:04:17,458
Thanos, didn't get enough of us
last time, huh?
51
00:04:17,542 --> 00:04:18,959
Quiet, Witch.
52
00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:21,458
No, I want to know
what's going on here.
53
00:04:21,542 --> 00:04:25,083
I am Grandmaster,
games man extraordinaire,
54
00:04:25,166 --> 00:04:28,875
and today, my team of heroes
is going to face a team chosen by Thanos.
55
00:04:28,959 --> 00:04:30,500
That would be you three.
56
00:04:30,583 --> 00:04:32,834
Heroes fighting heroes?
That's just a...
57
00:04:32,917 --> 00:04:36,250
-It's... fight time.
58
00:04:36,333 --> 00:04:39,250
Weighing in at a combined total
of 550 pounds,
59
00:04:39,333 --> 00:04:40,750
and hailing from another dimension,
60
00:04:40,834 --> 00:04:43,583
where they are their universe's
greatest heroes we have,
61
00:04:43,667 --> 00:04:46,375
the Squadron Supreme.
62
00:04:47,625 --> 00:04:49,709
Power Princess, whose energy devices
63
00:04:49,792 --> 00:04:53,041
will be matched against
Scarlet Witch's energy factor.
64
00:04:53,125 --> 00:04:57,291
Nighthawk, whose awesome tech factor
rivals the mighty Iron Man's.
65
00:04:57,375 --> 00:04:59,917
And Hyperion,
whose strength factor means
66
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:04,750
he could run a train up a tall building
without stopping once.
67
00:05:04,834 --> 00:05:08,208
Who big jaw fight? Oh!
68
00:05:09,041 --> 00:05:10,667
What if we don't want to?
69
00:05:11,875 --> 00:05:16,959
I won't send you back home,
and I'm your only way out of here.
70
00:05:22,667 --> 00:05:26,542
So, what are we waiting for? Have a
taste of my invisible shield, Witch.
71
00:05:36,917 --> 00:05:40,959
Et cetera.
72
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:45,417
No, no, no, not here!
73
00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:48,417
And not until I blow my whistle.
74
00:05:48,500 --> 00:05:52,500
Hulk not care
what purple man blow.
75
00:05:55,458 --> 00:06:00,083
The battles will take place at three
points on the Super Hero Squad's Earth.
76
00:06:00,166 --> 00:06:01,417
Ooh!
77
00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:05,000
I'm giving Thanos home dimension
advantage. It's only fair.
78
00:06:05,083 --> 00:06:08,750
What do you know about fairness?
What does anyone know?
79
00:06:08,834 --> 00:06:10,750
The things I have seen.
80
00:06:10,834 --> 00:06:13,709
Oh, when he gets going like that,
there's no stopping him.
81
00:06:20,333 --> 00:06:23,041
Oh, please.
He won't be able to focus.
82
00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:30,709
Mine's more experienced.
They'll stomp yours into the ground.
83
00:06:30,792 --> 00:06:33,834
Okay, fine. So either way,
I still win.
84
00:06:39,625 --> 00:06:42,834
Now you see him.
Now you don't.
85
00:06:42,917 --> 00:06:44,041
Yeah, weird.
86
00:06:44,125 --> 00:06:45,834
What is it?
Some kind of teleportation?
87
00:06:45,917 --> 00:06:51,000
'Tis magic. Wizardry! Iron Man hath also
vanished, as if swept up by the Valkyries.
88
00:06:51,083 --> 00:06:54,208
Not such a bad way to go. And Falcon
hath disappeared from his quarters.
89
00:06:54,291 --> 00:06:56,083
Hey, what about Scarlet Witch?
90
00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:59,125
Her voicemail doth answer.
And frankly, I feel dissed.
91
00:06:59,208 --> 00:07:01,875
And they made her
a Squaddie before me.
92
00:07:01,959 --> 00:07:04,166
A bad guy. A criminal.
93
00:07:06,709 --> 00:07:09,250
Will you please... Numbscale?
94
00:07:09,333 --> 00:07:11,083
Aah! Come on, Wanda.
95
00:07:11,166 --> 00:07:13,959
It doesn't even take Hulk this long
to get ready.
96
00:07:14,041 --> 00:07:16,166
Then again, he doesn't smell
as good as you.
97
00:07:16,250 --> 00:07:18,333
No, not nearly as good. Uh-oh.
98
00:07:28,875 --> 00:07:31,458
There she is,
the Statue of Liberty.
99
00:07:31,542 --> 00:07:33,792
Symbol of everything
my dimension holds dear.
100
00:07:33,875 --> 00:07:35,375
Don't call me "dear."
101
00:07:35,458 --> 00:07:38,625
Look, you and me,
we stand for the same things.
102
00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:43,375
Rooting out the vermin that infests our
cities? Choking it with your bare hands?
103
00:07:43,458 --> 00:07:47,500
-Okay.
-If you're not with me, you're against me.
104
00:07:53,417 --> 00:07:54,583
Gotcha!
105
00:07:54,667 --> 00:07:56,125
I don't think so.
106
00:07:56,625 --> 00:07:58,792
Electrified grappler cable!
107
00:07:58,875 --> 00:08:02,583
You can put a fancy suit of armor
on it, but it's still vermin.
108
00:08:09,250 --> 00:08:11,500
This like big sandbox.
109
00:08:11,583 --> 00:08:12,917
Hulk like!
110
00:08:15,583 --> 00:08:17,625
Ooh, big kitty!
111
00:08:18,959 --> 00:08:21,583
Hulk, listen to me. I can help you.
112
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:25,041
Maybe find you a place
on the Special Heroes Squad.
113
00:08:25,125 --> 00:08:26,583
You'll be happy there.
114
00:08:29,625 --> 00:08:32,333
You think you can damage this jaw?
115
00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:37,166
It hurts me to do this.
116
00:08:40,834 --> 00:08:45,166
Hulk, too!
117
00:08:55,208 --> 00:08:58,291
You know, we can be done with this
if you just surrender to me.
118
00:08:58,375 --> 00:09:00,291
Unconditionally, of course.
119
00:09:00,375 --> 00:09:02,458
Me, surrender to you?
120
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:05,291
Listen lady, I might be a witch,
but you're an epic...
121
00:09:22,875 --> 00:09:25,625
Some days, it just doesn't pay
to turn good guy.
122
00:09:30,125 --> 00:09:33,083
Alert. Missing Squaddies found.
123
00:09:33,166 --> 00:09:35,959
Except, now,
they're all over the world. Weird.
124
00:09:36,041 --> 00:09:38,917
This tracker
will lead you to them.
125
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:42,000
-Hence, the name.
-Huh, I can handle this,
126
00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:46,750
even though I'm not a full-time
Squaddie yet, unlike certain people.
127
00:09:48,375 --> 00:09:51,083
Okay, last warning,
Veloci-whiner.
128
00:09:52,667 --> 00:09:54,542
Oh. Oh, mine allies.
129
00:09:55,083 --> 00:09:58,542
See what Odin hath granted me,
along with my fine new armor.
130
00:10:00,375 --> 00:10:02,625
Uh, it's just your hammer, Thor.
131
00:10:02,709 --> 00:10:06,875
Aye, 'tis, but now Mjolnir hath
what men call an Easter egg.
132
00:10:06,959 --> 00:10:08,375
I can teleport.
133
00:10:10,083 --> 00:10:11,667
Linketh thine hands and...
134
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:14,542
-Uh, really?
-No.
135
00:10:14,625 --> 00:10:18,166
-'Twould do well to read the instructions.
136
00:10:27,083 --> 00:10:30,709
Oh, tarry not, lest our friends
meet an untimely fate. Come now.
137
00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:43,542
This is you getting back at me
for that time
138
00:10:43,625 --> 00:10:46,375
I spit a sunflower seed
into your hair, isn't it, Wanda?
139
00:10:46,458 --> 00:10:49,917
I was just compensating for all the
teasing I used to get, that's all.
140
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,875
You know, the other kids
would tickle me until I wet my pants.
141
00:10:53,709 --> 00:10:56,375
You know, I've never told
anybody that before.
142
00:10:57,625 --> 00:11:00,083
I like how I can just
open up to you like this.
143
00:11:01,333 --> 00:11:02,750
Ah, woo-song.
144
00:11:06,417 --> 00:11:07,917
Don't you ever give up?
145
00:11:09,041 --> 00:11:11,083
Thought you'd distract me, huh?
146
00:11:16,917 --> 00:11:18,917
You second-hand fiend.
147
00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:36,667
Get them off me.
Get them off me.
148
00:11:40,041 --> 00:11:42,625
You're not vermin.
You're just a clown.
149
00:11:43,125 --> 00:11:44,875
I hate clowns, too.
150
00:11:44,959 --> 00:11:48,750
Nighthawk, Don't you ever get tired
of all this dark vengeancey stuff?
151
00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:52,542
Sometimes, but then I think of Tommy.
152
00:11:52,625 --> 00:11:56,875
Tommy? Your son? Your brother?
Your rock opera?
153
00:11:56,959 --> 00:12:00,333
My tortoise, and my only friend.
154
00:12:00,417 --> 00:12:05,458
We'd go on long walks together.
Very long walks.
155
00:12:05,542 --> 00:12:09,166
We were going to
grow old together, him and me.
156
00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:12,333
But then, there were these punks
in a stolen SUV.
157
00:12:12,417 --> 00:12:17,917
I-I should have had Tommy on a leash
that day, but I was young, stupid.
158
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:22,041
Guilt, vengeance. You got all the bases
covered, don't you?
159
00:12:22,125 --> 00:12:24,834
Don't you? Nothing like that
ever happened to me.
160
00:12:24,917 --> 00:12:26,333
I just do this because...
161
00:12:26,417 --> 00:12:28,834
Well, because it's the right thing.
162
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:32,750
Hey, doesn't that make me
morally superior to you?
163
00:12:33,208 --> 00:12:34,375
Uh.
164
00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:37,750
This ends now.
165
00:12:56,834 --> 00:13:01,166
Didn't think I'd have an invisible,
collapsible battering ram, did you?
166
00:13:18,875 --> 00:13:21,959
And have you forgotten
my invisible shield so quickly?
167
00:13:31,333 --> 00:13:34,083
Hope you've got
an invisible parachute, princess.
168
00:13:37,500 --> 00:13:40,375
Don't need one. Invisible mini-copter.
169
00:13:47,250 --> 00:13:50,875
Give up, Witch, or I'll crush you
with my invisible steamroller.
170
00:13:51,458 --> 00:13:53,625
You're the one who needs to give up
171
00:13:53,709 --> 00:13:56,709
because-because
I have an invisible sword
172
00:13:56,792 --> 00:14:00,417
that cuts right through invisible shields.
Yeah. An invisible sword.
173
00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:02,667
Hah, you think
I didn't plan for that?
174
00:14:02,750 --> 00:14:06,750
My shield is coated with invisible,
sword-proof invisible paint. See?
175
00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:13,583
I didn't want to do this,
but you leave me no choice.
176
00:14:13,667 --> 00:14:16,250
I'm going to have to use
my invisible death ray on you.
177
00:14:17,208 --> 00:14:18,709
Invisible death ray?
178
00:14:18,792 --> 00:14:22,458
I-I have no counter-measure for that.
179
00:14:22,542 --> 00:14:25,792
I'm the one with no choice.
180
00:14:27,166 --> 00:14:29,500
That was me dropping my invisible shield.
181
00:14:45,875 --> 00:14:47,166
Listen to me.
182
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,750
-I don't like doing this.
183
00:15:48,625 --> 00:15:52,917
I've been holding back.
I always hold back. Yeah!
184
00:15:55,333 --> 00:15:57,667
I-I can't.
185
00:16:06,458 --> 00:16:09,083
Why you do that to big kitty?
186
00:16:09,166 --> 00:16:11,792
It... No, it was an accident.
187
00:16:11,875 --> 00:16:14,166
This not going to be accident.
188
00:16:20,959 --> 00:16:22,542
Now, you fit right in.
189
00:16:23,959 --> 00:16:25,834
Bah, it can't be over.
190
00:16:25,917 --> 00:16:27,667
Come on, I wasn't even trying.
191
00:16:27,750 --> 00:16:28,875
Redo!
192
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,166
Gone.
193
00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:42,458
Huh? But they were here.
194
00:16:42,542 --> 00:16:43,792
Where to now?
195
00:16:44,500 --> 00:16:46,375
Oh, got another one. Quick.
196
00:16:56,792 --> 00:16:58,542
Man, not here either.
197
00:16:58,625 --> 00:17:00,542
But they were definitely here.
198
00:17:03,709 --> 00:17:06,542
Uh, maybe if I patch this scanner
199
00:17:06,625 --> 00:17:09,000
into Herbie's
intergalactic rangefinder.
200
00:17:17,417 --> 00:17:20,208
And I said, "Pops, why do I have to do
the yardwork?
201
00:17:20,291 --> 00:17:22,834
You're so good at it."
202
00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:25,542
And that's, uh, that's pretty much
all I remember.
203
00:17:25,625 --> 00:17:27,959
Okay, we flash forward
to when I was, uh, 14...
204
00:17:28,041 --> 00:17:31,917
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. Did I tell you
about the Frisbee I had one time?
205
00:17:35,083 --> 00:17:38,333
Well, Thanos,
your team won fair and square.
206
00:17:38,959 --> 00:17:43,875
-Vermin.
207
00:17:44,583 --> 00:17:47,291
Though I suppose spoils go to the victor.
208
00:17:48,208 --> 00:17:50,250
My name's Thanos. Thanos!
209
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:54,333
Well, here you are, Thanos.
210
00:17:54,417 --> 00:17:59,625
Oh, the Mind Stone. Capable of
increasing brain power beyond limit.
211
00:17:59,709 --> 00:18:02,625
I'll be able to access the deepest,
darkest thoughts
212
00:18:02,709 --> 00:18:05,166
and dreams of other beings.
213
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:08,333
Uh, Thanos? You know those dreams
that I keep having?
214
00:18:08,417 --> 00:18:10,417
They don't mean anything, right?
215
00:18:10,500 --> 00:18:14,041
Why, soon, I'll have all the stones.
216
00:18:14,125 --> 00:18:15,917
Don't forget Mick Taylor.
217
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,542
Nobody ever remembers
Mick Taylor.
218
00:18:17,625 --> 00:18:20,792
Fool! These Infinity Stones
will give me the power
219
00:18:20,875 --> 00:18:25,125
to turn my entire universe
into my very own toy box.
220
00:18:25,208 --> 00:18:28,625
And I wreck my toys for fun.
221
00:18:29,667 --> 00:18:32,041
Squaddies, time to hero up!
222
00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:48,709
Squadron Supreme, time to Hero Out!
223
00:18:48,792 --> 00:18:50,583
Uh, sorry, guys. No time.
224
00:18:50,667 --> 00:18:52,458
Aah, but you got to do yours.
225
00:18:52,542 --> 00:18:56,917
-It's our show.
-Yeah. Get your own show, big jaw.
226
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:58,792
Hmm.
227
00:18:58,875 --> 00:19:02,125
And I used to have one of those guns
that would shoot marshmallows.
228
00:19:02,208 --> 00:19:05,750
But we had a dog,
and instead of marshmallows...
229
00:19:05,834 --> 00:19:08,709
Aah, doesn't matter.
It didn't even last me 20 minutes.
230
00:19:08,792 --> 00:19:11,083
Uh, Thanos? Uh-oh.
231
00:19:11,917 --> 00:19:13,208
Oh, you see this?
232
00:19:13,291 --> 00:19:15,291
It's the Time Stone.
233
00:19:15,375 --> 00:19:19,500
If you take another step,
I'll send you all back to the Big Bang.
234
00:19:19,583 --> 00:19:22,375
-Huh, Hulk like explosions.
235
00:19:22,458 --> 00:19:25,208
Well, good for you because
I'm gonna send you back there
236
00:19:25,291 --> 00:19:28,417
even if you don't take
another step.
237
00:19:35,583 --> 00:19:36,709
Not so fast.
238
00:19:40,458 --> 00:19:41,625
Jackpot.
239
00:19:47,041 --> 00:19:48,500
Foul!
240
00:19:48,583 --> 00:19:50,083
Time out!
241
00:19:50,166 --> 00:19:52,458
This is unsanctioned competition.
242
00:19:52,542 --> 00:19:55,834
It's non-league play
and beneath my notice.
243
00:19:55,917 --> 00:19:57,875
Blow it out your whistle, bub.
244
00:20:11,917 --> 00:20:13,291
Thanks, pal.
245
00:20:13,375 --> 00:20:17,667
And, uh, that whole dream thing,
it'll be our little secret.
246
00:20:25,750 --> 00:20:26,959
Meant to do that.
247
00:20:29,375 --> 00:20:30,834
Uh, huh?
248
00:20:30,917 --> 00:20:33,000
Aah, where purple face?
249
00:20:33,083 --> 00:20:34,875
Purple face?
250
00:20:34,959 --> 00:20:36,166
Hulk coming!
251
00:20:43,291 --> 00:20:44,625
Oopsie.
252
00:20:52,875 --> 00:20:55,917
You're safe. You're safe.
253
00:20:56,583 --> 00:20:58,583
But who knows for how long?
254
00:20:58,667 --> 00:21:02,083
Yeah, this Thanos sicko
is all about destruction.
255
00:21:02,166 --> 00:21:03,792
That much we know.
256
00:21:03,875 --> 00:21:07,041
If he gets the rest of those
Infinity Stones, the universe is gone.
257
00:21:07,125 --> 00:21:10,875
Herbie, monitor the whole cosmos
for any sign of the big purple guy.
258
00:21:10,959 --> 00:21:12,166
Galactus?
259
00:21:12,250 --> 00:21:14,750
Thanos, Herbie, Thanos.
Active listening, remember?
260
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,417
Well, I'm not worried
about either of them.
261
00:21:22,500 --> 00:21:24,417
I can handle anything
that comes my way.
262
00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:28,875
Even if you did make Wanda
a full-time Squaddie before moi.
263
00:21:29,375 --> 00:21:31,458
-Reptil!
-She's older than you!
264
00:21:31,542 --> 00:21:32,750
Older!
265
00:21:32,834 --> 00:21:35,583
Duh, even Hulk know that.
266
00:21:35,667 --> 00:21:37,542
I'm sorry you had to wait, Falc, but...
267
00:21:37,625 --> 00:21:41,667
Ssh. You're a good listener, Wanda.
And that's what really matters.
268
00:21:41,750 --> 00:21:43,333
Okay.
269
00:21:43,417 --> 00:21:45,083
Are we still mini-bowling?