Armed police! Come to the door, you'll come to no harm.
GUNSHOT
Shots fired.
Crime never sleeps.
Q
But neither...
Why are you touching me?
...do the cops.
Police with a gun!
Battling on the front line...
He's in the back garden.
...are Nottinghamshire's finest.
Highly trained pursuit drivers...
Oh, God.
Vehicle failing to stop.
...specialists in entry...
...and search...
é
...rapid response firearms officers...
Do not move!
Police with a dog! Get down on the floor!
...and the crime-stopping force...
...of the dog unit.
Stop struggling!
Wherever the battle takes them...
SHOUTING
...they'll never back down.
É
Because cometh the hour...
Get down on the floor.
...cometh the interceptors.
Oi! You can go...
%
RADIO: You are to consider your safety...
Coming up...
Come to the door, you will come to no harm.
...gun smoke at the siege in suburbia...
GUNSHOT
Shots fired!
...Lisa lays down the law...
Is that a real gun, then?
F
...and Quantum bags the rogue bin man.
Get on the ground!
MAN SCREAMS
There are more than 6,000 firearms officers in the UK.
RADIO: We've got two cars at the moment.
We have the two cars that are travelling from North.
In an average year, they discharge weapons at just eight incidents...
...but when the call goes out, they all know this could be one of them.
SIREN WAILS
It's an absolute last resort, but, ultimately, yeah, we might have to
pull the trigger and it might happen.
If somebody points a firearm in my direction or in the direction
of a member of the team or a member of the public,
it'll be a split-second decision
and if we have to squeeze the trigger,
then that's what we'll have to do.
RADIO CHATTER
It's early evening in the Nottingham suburbs.
Interceptors Bruce Arnold
and Lewis Marshall are racing to rendezvous with fellow
firearms officers after reports of a man threatening to kill himself.
They need the firearms team to be mobilised
and help deal with the incident.
The suspect is in a fragile state of mind
and has released disturbing images of his home.
The photo they're working from is the very large kitchen knife,
the alcohol, the pills, the machete and the weapon that's in the box.
Yep.
There appear to be numerous weapons at the property,
including some form of firearm.
RADIO: I believe that the criteria for deployment of AFOs
is met in order for officers to protect themselves
and other members of the public from a person that is otherwise
so dangerous and also in possession of a firearm.
Control have given them the nod to advance.
All right? Everyone happy? Yeah.
Yep...
CHATTER
And with eyes in the sky airborne, the interceptors roll out.
Just going to go and get the address contained as best
we can without being too obvious that we're there.
Lewis has had 13 years on the force
and is one of the best shots in the unit.
He likes a country stroll, but tonight will be no walk in the park.
Just approaching the address.
Stop here, stop here, stop here.
Oh, there it is. Got it, yeah.
Bus stop. Yeah, it's behind that house, isn't it? Yep.
The plan is to contain the address from a distance to avoid spooking
the suspect while negotiators communicate with him by phone.
We've got a drone covering the air so if anything does happen,
we have got the heads-up with the drone.
Advantages of the drones to the helicopter is
they're a lot more discreet.
There's been no sign of the suspect...
...and negotiators have been unable to contact him.
RADIO CHATTER
RADIO:
F
Concerns are mounting as night draws in
they may be forced to break cover.
É
F
é
F
The time for discretion has passed.
É
Tracked by the drone, firearms officers surrounded the house.
Come on.
Anyone inside can't fail to be aware of their presence.
I think I may have saw something, but I can't...
It might have been some shadows outside, that's all,
but I did see something move.
Whether it was inside or outside, I can't tell you.
With automatic weapons trained on the door, Lewis and Bruce edge
closer to make contact, protected by bulletproof Kevlar shields.
Keep to the left of the door.
It's the police. Come to the door. You'll come to no harm.
Retreat back.
Nothing.
The white door is secure.
It's locked.
Someone's there.
It's the police, fella.
You all right, mate?
Come to the door.
At least they know he's alive.
He looked like he'd just woke up.
Armed police! Come to the door, you'll come to no harm!
We just want to make sure that you're all right.
If you can hear me, come to the door, you will come to no harm!
There's someone who will help you.
The door's opening.
Just come to the door. We can talk to you.
We can get you some help if you need some help.
We're not here to hurt you, mate,
we just want to make sure that you're all right.
He hardly looks a threat,
but interceptors don't take suspects at face value.
Walk out front. No-one's going to get hurt. Everything's fine.
Nobody's going to get hurt today.
We still need to have a chat with him.
We still need to have a chat with you, mate,
and then we can sort it out, can't we?
We don't want this to drag on and turn into something that it
doesn't need to be.
Door's shut.
He's not locked it, though. No, I don't think he's locked it.
It's a chance to storm the property
before he can harm himself or others.
But he's back at the door.
We hopefully will, matey, but we need to do ourjob properly.
Shots fired!
If the subject is to come out of the address,
then you are to consider your safety and that of the public.
Interceptors have been called to the home of an armed man who's
threatening to kill himself.
They've surrounded the property
and are negotiating with the suspect.
We just need to sit and talk to you and make sure that you're OK.
But the man's taking his life in his hands.
Shots fired!
In the blink of an eye, he's raised a pistol,
fired and retreated inside.
Interceptors had a split-second to decide whether to return fire.
That was a small crack, wasn't it?
Yes, yes. There was a flash.
Firearms officers' expert analysis is that the discharge was
a blank, but no-one can be sure.
It's a finely balanced situation.
He's put a message on social media declaring his intentions.
He's announced that we're here, so he's got armed police on his
driveway, and that his intention is to get himself killed.
They must treat the suspect carefully
while protecting themselves and the public, so they train less
lethal baton guns as well as conventional rifles on the house.
Smithy, I've got baton behind you as well.
Baton guns fire plastic rounds that can drop a man at 25m,
but spare him serious injury.
I've got baton gun on this side of the car.
I'm conventional.
They aren't certain the man's pistol is blank-firing...
...and news comes in that muddies the water further.
Yes, yes.
So, the subject's been in contact with our negotiators,
and he said to them basically that if he was to come out,
if he was to come out of the property,
he'll come out all guns blazing,
and that he has got access to an illegal firearm within there.
We can't substantiate that at the minute.
Lights, lights, lights, lights. Movement, movement, movement. Where?
Front door.
Q
GUNSHOT
Shots fired!
Someone's fired.
The suspect has discharged his pistol again and vanished.
Lit by an ominous full moon,
the siege enters its fifth hour, as reinforcements arrive...
é
...including interceptor Dan Machin.
You all right?
It's been a long night and tension is running high,
as the suspect opens the door for a third time...
...armed...
...with a roll of Andrex.
He's surrendered.
He appears to be unarmed, unharmed, and completely compliant.
But the cops are taking no chances.
Turn around and put your hands on the small of your back.
Keep them there and we will move forward and handcuff you.
Do you understand? Yeah.
You've got Taser.
Twin Tasers light him up.
Move forward now.
Don't make any sudden movements.
Stay right there for me, all right? And he's nicked.
Subject secure.
Ta, mate. Come and talk to...
While the suspect is taken away to get help...
Yeah, two officers entering the property now.
...Dan and fellow firearms officers move in to secure the property.
There's a firearm.
We are not going to be able to examine it now,
but it does look like a blank firer.
You can see on the side of the box it's an 8mm blank.
But someone points that at you,
you can't tell from first glance if it's genuine or not,
and we've got to take it as genuine until we know otherwise.
Guns and knives aside... Sharp, small dagger.
This couldn't look more like an innocent slice of suburbia,
complete with solarium...
Oh, here we go.
...and potting shed...
Yes, we've got a big grow.
...or pot shed, to be more precise.
That's, like, 30 plants. Small.
A very professional set-up.
It's a prime example of what goes on behind closed doors
and what you don't know. We thought on the face of it
here was an upstanding, good member of society,
never been in bother with the police before.
Nice house, family, kids, wife.
Not the sort you'd expect to do this.
GUNSHOT Shots fired!
That's the first time that's happened to me
at an incident, where someone has fired a weapon.
The bang, the flash, a wee bit scared when it went off. Yeah.
And anyone would be. It was quite hairy, even though...
It was a blank firer.
The weed farmer of suburbia pleaded guilty to possession
of an imitation firearm and possession with intent to supply.
He got 20 months behind bars.
If it wasn't for the split-second decision making
of armed interceptors, it could have ended very differently.
Life moves pretty fast when you're in interceptor.
OK, in! Let's go! Police!
Stay where you are! Stay still, police!
But everyone deserves a tea break.
Though theirs rarely last long.
Rob's got coffee. Dan's got a bag of salt and vinegar Chipsticks.
But duty calls.
5-2.
What's it done? Failed to stop, I think.
Is that it?
An uninsured Citroen has failed to stop.
And there it goes.
That's it, that's it.
Go on, go on, go on.
Hold on to your lattes. We have liftoff.
The runaway Citroen has a local cop on its bumper,
but Rob and Dan are itching to take the lead.
5-2, we are second in the stick behind the response vehicle.
If I listen in, can they disengage and will take over?
Dan's trained in everything from anti-ambush driving
to close protection firearms.
He's an all-action interceptor who leads from the front.
From 5-2, we are second in the stick.
Vehicle in front, do you want to pull in and let us resume?
Leaving the local unit to take up a tactical position...
Yeah, he's got him.
...the pursuit specialists move into the driving seat.
Get off the... Yeah, just trying to get in there.
From 5-2, we are now pursuit command.
Behind the subject vehicle.
Agree with all the pursuit considerations so far.
Ready, TS, it is a right, right, right onto...
...London Road. Speed is 25, it is low risk.
300 horsepower X5 versus 100 horsepower Saxo -
place your bets, folks.
Right, right, right onto...
Standby.
Beaver Road, Beaver Road.
Speed 30, approaching a junction, this is a left, left, left.
...lane. Advanced driver...TPAC and stinger.
Again, a further left.
It's within the estate, it's Manors Road,
approaching the Main Road, a further left, left, left.
The driver's doing laps of an estate.
Approaching green ATS.
It is a right, right, right.
On to...
Ancl coffee's going cold.
...a adult, white male, aged approximately 40 years.
He's taking big risks.
CRASH
Oh, a bit of contact.
...and may have clipped an oncoming car.
May have been a bit of contact with a black BMW, didn't get the Reg,
but we are on Pinfold Lane, approaching Main Street again.
The runway is now on his fifth circuit of the estate
and Rob thinks he knows why.
I think you might be looking for a detour.
The driver may be planning to bail out...
...if he lives that long.
Indicating right,
the Saxo swerves left, right in front of a passing car.
The driver is gambling with his life.
He's going at high risk through the red ATS,
no deviation, it is straight on onto a continuation of Main Street.
And with all this red light roulette...
ATS, straight through, high risk.
...they've got to get him stopped.
Ready for decamp, ready for decamp.
He's out and eventually running in the worst getaway outfit in history.
Rob's out of the blocks, too, but makes way...
JEN: Police, stop!
Stop him, stop him.
...for German Shepherd Quantum.
We got Jen.
In here, in here, go on, Jen.
The suspect's fled towards some flats, but is he inside, or out?
He's there, he's there, he's there.
Get on the ground! Get on the ground!
He won't get down.
Get on the ground! SUSPECT SCREAMS
Big mistake.
Get on the floor, get on the floor.
Get on the floor. Get on the floor.
JEN: Get down.
Get on the floor.
É
F
If you stand still, you will be OK.
Quantum has done his job.
SHOUTING
But the suspect is not making things easy.
Stop resisting.
DOG BARKS
F
Finally, he's in cuffs and under arrest.
Subject is secure.
But it's still pandemonium...
Hey, go away, go inside. Go away.
...thanks to local interference.
It's all over, yeah.
Mate, can you see what's happening? Go inside.
Buddy, listen to me. Go inside, stop making this worse.
You're making it worse.
Relax, it's all over, yeah. It's all over.
It's all over. Good work.
Peace at last.
Chill, yeah. No injuries.
DOG BARKS Stand up.
As the hi-vis kid lights the way to the car,
they still don't know why he took off.
What was all that about?
É
You didn't know what to do? You pull over.
He says he just bought the car
and didn't know how to react to blue lights.
F
It also turns out he hasn't got a full licence or insurance.
Right, listen to me,
the cuffs are going to come off so we can have a look at your arm.
There's more cops here and a dog.
Don't try it.
F
We are saying this to you cos of the way you've driven.
F
You could have kill someone, ain't you?
They need to check he's not injured.
Right, we're just going to check your arm, if that's all right.
Which one was it? His left?
All right, sorry.
Considering his noncompliance, he got off lightly.
It's all good he had a padded jacket, isn't he? Yeah.
É
Who can't?
É
é
And you've gone and done this, 20 days before your missus gives birth?
Mate, there's something wrong with you.
And something wrong with the car.
I found just a very, very small amount of what is believed to be cannabis
in the centre console of the vehicle as well as a cannabis grinder.
Pull over.
If you pulled over, we'd be speaking
to you for probably five minutes.
You lost your car here yes, but you lose your car anyway.
You're not going to out run an X5, are you, and a dog?
Despite his coat, he's not the brightest.
It felt very fortunate in the end to have Jen right behind us,
you know, right at the last minute, to offer that dog support
and, yeah, we found him, not that it's too challenging to find
someone in a fluorescent orange jacket.
The future isn't bright for Mr Orange. For dangerous driving,
driving without a full licence, no insurance
and possession of cannabis, the driver got a total of four months
behind bars and was disqualified from driving for three years.
On reflection, it wasn't the greatest escape Quantum's faced.
We'll stay in the car, letJen and the dog go after..
The dog can't read Police on our backs,
and we don't want to be taken out by a 30kg dog.
Yeah, Quantum, bless him, did the hard work for us.
Thank you very much.
Bet he's not doing the paperwork.
He's not doing the paperwork, no. No.
Oh, well.
Chop chop, there's just time for cold coffee and chipsticks.
Well done, Rob.
Well done, Dan.
Have you got something down your pants, mate?
Still to come... I've got my kecks and all...
A suspect bends over backwards to cooperate.
I'll do a squat right in front of you now, I don't care.
Another day at the office for team knife crime.
He's been arrested for possession with intent to supply
and we've also uncovered a knife now as well.
And the suspected stars of CCTV.
We know what you're up to.
You're out stealing. CCTV have you.
You're doing it in South Wales.
Nottinghamshire was the first force outside London with
a dedicated knife crime team.
These are designed for one thing and one thing only
and that's putting the fear of God into someone, I think.
They focus, not just on knife crime, but on the crimes that trigger it.
Joe Riley and Ken Tinley are en route to help arrest
a suspected dealer.
Experience tells them that knives and drugs go hand-in-hand.
I see some weed.
The suspect was stopped
because intelligence linked his car to drugs...
Beautiful.
...intelligence that appears to be correct.
We've got a few ounces of cannabis
and a significant amount of cash has been recovered as well,
and the other tools of the trade -
mobile phones, digital scales and the like.
He's been arrested for possession with intent to supply
and we've also uncovered a knife now as well.
It's a typical stop.
Last year, the team seized a total of 5,881g of cannabis,
worth almost £60,000.
But they don't just rely on intel.
The team are also experts in reading behaviour.
Ancl back on patrol with Dan Mottishaw,
Joe reads this cyclist as a wrong'un.
Hm.
The suspect's made a sharp exit through the park.
And the Spidey sense is going gangbusters.
You're near the Leamington estate.
We're just looking at a lad.
We didn't think he was that bothered until we turned round.
He's gone across the playing field on a bike to get away from us.
He's going to come out, like, Stuart Street,
if anybody is near there.
If you go parallel to the road. RADIO:
The suspect has agility, but interceptors have the numbers.
Young white lad on a Boardman bike, mountain bike.
Black coat, grey stripe on it, grey hood up.
Time to cut him off.
Come on, then.
He's making off.
Hey, come here, come here, come here.
Leaving Joe to go man v bike, Dan moves to cut off his escape.
Pedal power's trumped foot power, so it's back in the passenger seat.
There we go again.
Ancl toe down.
Ken's got in front of them in a car ahead...
Where does that come out? I don't know, hey.
...as the suspect swerves into the cemetery.
GRAVE error.
Yeah, you're stuck in here now.
May he rest in CUFFS.
Hoo!
É
Stop and you can find out, won't you?
You've been detained for a search, mate, all right?
F
With interceptors' help, the cyclist rises from the grave.
Get up, mate.
Have you got something you shouldn't have?
É
Is that why you didn't stop for us, eh?
He's coughed up to carrying a smidgen of cannabis
but took big risks for a small amount.
Your behaviour is not consistent with somebody who is not
doing anything...
If you insist. Inside that, sir?
£
There's some money in there, is there? Yeah.
Was it worth it over...? Who was?
You've got blue lights telling you to stop.
When police put on their blue lights or point to you and say stop,
it means stop. It doesn't mean ignore us.
An initial search turns up just a few grams of weed.
É
No, it's not.
All that for that.
Eh?
Q
The full search may take a while.
How many bottoms have you got on, mate?
Four pairs of bottoms?
Ancl underneath the teen's fourth layer, a fifth.
Have you got something down your pants, mate?
F
é
Thanks, but we'll pass.
He's offered up a tiny bit of cannabis,
literally that is everything that he offered up,
but people normally do offer up a little
bit to try and put us off the scent.
Drugs are Joe's pet peeve.
As part of the knife crime team,
he's at the SHARP end of the war against them.
He knows all the tricks...
What's that?
...and he's called this one right.
É
What is it? What is it?
What is it? Heroin.
One dart? Oh, right, yes.
He seems desperate to drop his trousers.
F
No, no, it's fine.
We're not doing it here, mate.
Yeah, no need to frighten the dead.
É
We can't do it here, mate. That's all right, mate.
Lance Armstrong junior was wheeled off to the nick,
where he finally got the chance to strip.
He was given a caution for possession of heroin
and cannabis and sent on his bike.
The driver, stopped earlier with a bag of weed, was charged for
possession with intent to supply and possession of a bladed article.
He awaits his day in court.
Nottinghamshire police interceptors police more
than 800 square miles,
but they'll happily bag bad guys from further afield.
Criminals do make the assumption that
if they commit a crime in one area and go to a different county,
then they're going to remain undetected by that police force.
That's not the case any more.
We've got a great use of the national ANPR network.
We've got the Police National Computer.
So you really can't hide by going cross-county any more.
It's early afternoon, and interceptors Phil Broughton
and Spencer Pugh are tracking a silver Merc.
This vehicle is wanted for a shop theft at Pontypridd.
The car, from Birmingham, has been pinging ANPR cameras
all over Derbyshire, South Wales
and now Notts interceptors' patch.
Should be coming down here. Yeah.
Its occupants match the description of a group of teenagers
suspected of shoplifting.
It's here, look.
And there they are.
Just got sight of it. Diamond Avenue at Kirkby.
Vehicle is four up.
Two male front-seat passengers
and possibly two females in the rear.
It's reversing into a car-parking space.
We're going to go for a block once it's in position.
Phil is an advanced driver
and a master at TPAC.
He plans to wait for backup in order to box the suspects in.
It's in position now.
But by reversing into a space, they've done three quarters
of the job for him.
As they say in Pontypridd...
...tidy!
Hi, chap. Just pass your car keys.
No worries.
Can I ask you all to stop in the car for me and not move?
Can I ask you to get out for me?
Put your handbrake on.
Leaving the passengers to Spencer...
Stay in the car for me.
...Phil takes care of the driver.
Right.
So, who owns the car?
A friend of yours?
You're from Birmingham, are you?
What's your first name?
É
R...
Q
Yeah.
L. Yeah. D-O?
É
You know, if you are going to be lying to the police, it turns
a minor traffic offence into something more serious.
So, I want to ask you to think about it.
And then I'm going to ask you again,
and what I say to you, if I find out any details
that you've given to me which are misleading,
then ultimately you may be looking at a more serious offence.
So, who are you?
Ronaldo? Messi? Eric Cantona?
What's your name?
Yes.
Just think about what I've just said to you.
Yes. What is your name?
So, who is Ronaldo?
Oh, he plays up front forJuventus. Good right foot.
Full driving licence.
How about you?
I know you haven't got a licence.
I'm not daft. And it's been involved in a recent shop theft.
Which appears to have been caught on CCTV.
Oh, yeah, definitely, definitely.
He's wearing the exact same coat still.
Yeah, he's not wearing his shades. Definitely them.
Have you guys been to Wales recently?
Wales?
Yeah.
Got your on camera in Wales.
We know what you're up to.
You're out stealing. It's pretty...
Yeah. CCTV of you...
...doing it in South Wales.
A search of the passengers reveals a unique fashion sense -
a split skirt that gives access to hidden pockets.
See what I mean? Look. Put your bag down.
Pocket there.
Drops into a skirt underneath.
You can see also the stolen goods underneath the long skirt.
Jump back in.
Shoplifters are known to make use of secret pockets,
but there's no sign of stolen property here.
So Spencer pops the boot.
Razor blades.
Still got the tags on, look.
Those razor blades, for instance,
they can retail for about £35 each, and there's about ten of them.
Beauty products, suntan lotion...
Razor blades...
Expensive-looking...
...suntan lotion again.
All right, then.
Time to break the good news to Phil.
And how's that been?
Got a boot full of nicked razor blades
with suntan lotion and other bits and pieces in there. Right.
All the stuff that's in the boot of your car, where is that from?
All the stuff in the boot of your car...
Razor blades, sun cream, where's all that from?
How have you bought it,
if you've got no money on you, no wallet, no cards?
Where's your card?
While the driver tries to explain
where the security-tagged booty came from,
it's moved to the Beemer, ready to be reunited with the shops
from which it was stolen.
Lovely. Thank you.
And the passengers are snapped for South Wales Police.
The vehicle is going to be seized today most definitely.
We're going to be taking some ID pictures of yourself
with your clothing.
And then at some point I feel that South Wales will be wanting
to speak to you. The other part of this is,
you're are going to be reported for two offences -
driving otherwise in accordance with a licence
and driving without insurance.
No. No.
Bye-bye, Mercedes.
And there will be a cost for every day it's in storage
and a flat fee of £150 for its recovery.
£150.
If, after 14 days, the vehicle has not been recovered,
it will be disposed of - ie, crushed. All right?
A final photo shoot for the artist formerly known as Ronaldo...
Thank you very much.
...and the Birmingham four are free to make their way back to Brum.
Train station is that way to get to Nottingham.
Then obviously you'll have to get yourself to...
ALL TALK AT ONCE
F
They head off, tails, and secret bloomers, between their legs.
I've not seen that before, where you've got sort of
a fake pocket underneath the skirt
where you can put items and disguise it.
But that is so they can walk around the shop picking items up
and just putting them in.
The teenagers travelling with a boot full of razors and sun cream
were reported to South Wales Police
but no further action was taken regarding any alleged theft.
The driver did, however, plead guilty to driving
without a full licence and driving with no insurance.
He got a £660 fine and six points.
Still to come...
F
...Lenny and Lisa beam down to Planet Gaga.
Feel like I've just woke up in a different universe.
It's a slow night for Lisa and Lenny.
But it sounds like someone's got something tasty on the boil.
SIRENS They're our buddies.
Jesus.
No high-speed pursuit for Lisa and Lenny. They get the booby prize...
...helping to stop an unexciting uninsured Nissan Micra.
It's full.
All right? Yeah. You?
Turn the engine off for me a minute.
Is this your vehicle? Yes, course it is.
Well, I don't know, do I? It might not be.
The keys are in the car. This car's got no insurance or MOT on it.
Oh. I know. Bad, isn't it?
Have you got any ID on you at all?
Course I have.
Yeah. Can you...?
Can you pass me your ID, please?
As Lenny joins the party...
Hi, mate. How are you?
...the driver's no closer to producing ID.
Have you got any ID on you? I've asked you twice.
Are you all right? Yeah.
Passenger interference, then they try again.
I know. Yes, but I...
INDISTINCT
Let me think... The ID...
While the driver racks his brains for ID,
his passenger starts throwing belongings into the street.
Can you...? Don't touch me. Sorry.
F
Do you want to put that on the path? Cos there's cars coming, mate.
All right. I know, I'm just thinking of your safety, all right? Yeah.
Leaving the driver to Lenny, Lisa takes care of
his two passengers.
Don't think this vehicle is going any further.
All right? I'd say get your coat on and...
You've pulled. ..get sorted. No...
Turfing out the occupants reveals
that there may be a couple of things missing
from the 8.15 to Birmingham New Street.
First-class covers on the seat
There's nothing first class about the vehicle.
I've never seen that in... in my policing career.
You ain't seen nothing yet.
F
The passenger has taken the chance to indulge
in some midnight dental hygiene.
I feel like I've just woke up in a different universe.
What are you staring at?
Yeah, what?
What? Haven't you seen a man brush his teeth before?
Oi, calm down, fella.
Why are they watching?
Watching us, aren't they? Yeah.
It's just beyond bizarre.
The Bizarre-mobile is being seized
and the driver needs to empty it of his extensive belongings.
Godfather in the back. Good film, that.
But it seems to have refilled with people.
Can I just ask why you're getting back in the car? We need it gone.
Oooh. Anyway, what's happening?
No, what is really happening? I have no idea.
HORN TOOTS Keep going. Nothing to see.
SHE LAUGHS
HORN TOOTS
That's nice.
No matter how chaotic a roadside stop is...
Are you going to see him?
Oh, no.
...there's always time to chase down a foul-mouthed driver.
Go on.
Meanwhile, events on Planet Micra turn even weirder.
INDISTINCT ..my house.
I live in my car.
It seems he lives in his car.
And if he's not careful, he'll die in his driveway.
F
I live in my car.
I've got to get a lift off you lot now.
We're not going to take you for a lift into town,
I can tell you that now. We've got loaded weapons in our cars.
We haven't got room for people.
What would that do to me? What do you mean, what will it...?
It's a gun. Wat do you think guns do to you? Kill.
Well, if a bullet was to hit you, it could potentially kill you.
Yes, it is. Is it real, though? I thought it was just a...
A water pistol? No, one of them...
Tasers? Yeah. No, cos it'd be yellow. That's in there.
Is that a real gun, then?
Yeah. I'm a firearms officer.
Give us a go!
Oh, here you go.
Put it this way. You come near my gun and you'll be on your arse.
Would I? Yes. But would you put it on me? Yes, I would.
You probably would. Yes, I would.
Lisa is a superfit firearms officer.
She'd have no trouble dumping the passenger on his derriere,
which, coincidentally, is where he is now talking from.
Listen, mate, I'm a woman as well, you know. I'm in your league,
because I'm bisexual.
I'm a woman. Right.
So if he's to start on you, I'd be on your side. Good.
Thanks, sister!
What planet am I on?
One where they take for ever to empty a car!
This car is no longer in the possession of you.
It's in the possession of us. So I'm asking you to get out of it.
What are you getting back in there for?
I'm getting my property. Oh, sweet. Hurry up, then.
I've never known someone faff about.
You're just delaying it now. Come on. You're boring me now.
Right, we're taking your car now. You've had long enough.
You're going to put it in your pocket. I'm going to drive it off.
Drive it? Yeah.
INDISTINCT
Have a good night.
Car seized, there's just the matter of the foul-mouthed rubbernecker.
James just called up. The guy says he's very, very sorry.
Sweet.
The man from the Micra was summoned for driving with no insurance
and no MOT.
He got a £660 fine, a £66 surcharge,
six points and a new least-favourite number.
Meanwhile, Lisa will never forget her trip
to a parallel universe.
You never know who you're going to meet and you never know
what people are going to do and how they're going to react.
And it's different every time. And it never bores me.
Subtitles by Red Bee Media
Good evening, the headlines from 5 News,
I'm Dani Sinha.
Officers investigating the disappearance of Sarah Everard
have found human remains.
The 33-year-old was last seen a week ago in London on her way home
from a friend's house.
The discovery was made in woodland in Kent.
Police have not confirmed any identity and say it may
take considerable time.
MPs say the Test and Trace scheme appears to have failed at preventing
lockdowns in England.
Billions has been spent on it, with MP5 warning the taxpayer
could not be treated like an ATM machine.
Boris Johnson says it has helped reopen schools.
And the Prime Minister has called for the immediate release
of British Iranian national Nazaneen Zaghari-Ratcliffe.
During a phone call with the Iranian President,
he said her "continued confinement remains completely unacceptable".
That's all for now.
See you soon.